NAPW/REBEL RUMBLE

[Ro-Bot]

Special TWO RP limit per handler

If you handle a tag team, two RPs per TEAM. If you handle a singles wrestler, two RPs per that wrestler. So BH can do two to represent all three BH members. Taboo can do two, The Show can do two, because Style Clash is a tag team comprised of two different handlers. Questions lemme know.

This match is a rumble pitting NAPW vs REBEL for promotional bragging rights!

[The Show Chad Kurtis]

Scene fades in just outside of the locker room of ‘The Show’ Chad Kurtis. No one has been allowed in or out of the locker room since ‘The Show’ made it back after being eliminated second in the Six Circles of Hell match. Finally more then an hour after the show Josh Reynolds and his camera crew is let in as we see the locker room destroyed and ‘The Show’ seating in a corner with his head placed on his knees…

Josh Reynolds: Chad I know you are devastated after your loss in the Six Circles of Hell match but can we please get a word with you?

‘The Show’ looks up and his face is red and his eyes are blood shoot. It is apparent that this is a side of ‘The Show’ that NAPW fans haven’t seen before.

Chad: Devastated you say? I would say it a little more then that. Let’s see how I can but it in terms that you can understand. After all I know it has to be simple for you to understand. So think back to when you was a kid and you found out that there was no such thing as Santa Claus. How disappointed you was. Multiple that by at ten and you have an idea how much I am hurting right now.

JR: Your eyes are red and blood shoot, have you been crying?

Chad: What kind of silly question is that? Have I been crying? Hell no I haven’t been crying as much as I might feel like it the answer is no and you know why because there is no crying in wrestling! I torn my ACL, fracture countless bones, had my heart broke more times then I care to admit for this company and this sport but still I shed no tears because there is no crying in wrestling. You just have to accept the hand that was dealt to you and move on.

JR: Is that what you are doing is moving on? Look at this locker room it is destroyed.

Chad: I may have let my emotions get the best of me for a moment. I little slip in usually calm, cool, and collective persona of ‘The Show’. But after all I am just human.

JR: Human you maybe but this kind of reaction is way out of character for you.

Chad: I agree that it maybe a little out of character but I had to release my frustration somehow and I felt this would be the safest environment to do so. There maybe a few lockers and the such destroyed but no harm no foul to anyone. Now that I have released my frustration it is time to dust myself off and jump back on the horse so to speak.

JR: Before moving on to what the future holds for ‘The Show’ Chad Kurtis, I was wondering if you are ready to admit that there maybe some truth to the so called Canadian Curse?

Chad: I ain’t going to admit no such thing. I will be the first to admit that in NAPW championship match that I have had a run of bad luck but a curse I don’t believe in such things. If I thought there was any chance of it being true trust me you would see me wearing rabbit feet, and four leaf cloves everywhere I go. Canadian Curse, please!

JR: Let move on and talk about the upcoming NAPW/Rebel Supershow…

Chad: I love the concept of the Supershow but fof me it is always hard with my heart split between NAPW and Rebel-Pro. I always said I am NAPW proud with a Rebel side. It especially hard for me when I am representing either fed against the other.

JR: Will I have the card for you and you don’t have to worry about representing either NAPW or Rebel because you are represent and I quote your own damn team in a NAPW v Rebel rumble.

Chad: My own damn team?

JR: That is what it says. Now let’s meet the team first representing NAPW is Lloyd Rees, Blood Harvest, The Beast, and Taboo and representing Rebel is Matthew Kurtis, Cuzin’ Zeke, El Rey, Johnny Maverick, Samsonite, Kid Loser, and Assman and of course representing his own damn team is ‘The Show’ Chad Kurtis.

Chad: I don’t know exactly how this rumble is going to shape up. I don’t know if it me vs. the world or what. But I have friends like Taboo and Matthew on either side as well as enemies such as Zeke and Rees on both side. NAPW and Rebel sure didn’t do me no favors but that all good. I plan on using this match as an statement match.

JR: A statement match to Rebel or to NAPW?

Chad:To both and to be more exact to Massacre and Daniels.

JR: And exactly what kind of statement do you plan on making?

Chad: To Massacre the statement is a simple one, you can run but you can’t hide and to Daniels the message is ‘The Show’ is coming after you!

JR: So I guess it goes without saying that you aren’t going to let your loss today keep you down for long?

Chad: It like the old cliché says what do kill me makes me stronger and I ain’t dead yet. And like I said earlier Daniels and Massacre consider yourself on notice! Now if you excuse me I have a locker room to straighten up.

Scene slowly fades to black as we see ‘The Show’ sitting lockers back up and trying to return the locker room back to it’s original condition…

[Kid Loser]

In this day and age, to survive one must distinguish themselves from everyone else. They must make themselves unique enough for people to love ya, or hate, but more importantly to have you stick in their minds and remember what you are, and what you stand for.

I am not one of those people. I'm just a man trying to better himself at the art of professional wrestling, while picking up a decent pay check at the same time. Good or bad that's how I operate, it's how I do business here. Extortionately this seems adhere me to the minds of the fans, where like an honest man. A man whose own natural personality is his gimmick, and not some cheesy over done character, or gimmick as the long time pro's call it.

Personally I could give a rat's ass what the long timers call it, I'm just here to learn a few things, pick up a few pay checks, then move on to the next company that'll have my sorry excuse for a carcass. What good would a man with sweet (BLEEP) all experience do against someone like “The Red Neck Special” Chad Kurtis. A man who has survived a hell of a match at NAPW’s Six Circle’s of Hell. A man who comes into the Battle Royal with his mind set on hardcore violence, and an utter arsenal at his disposal. All I’ll have at mine, is a determination to win, a gut full of whiskey, and the move set of man who’s just started at Wrestlin’ School. Hell, half the time, I don’t even know the difference between a Half Nelson Suplex and a Northern Lights Powerbomb.

But what I do know is this, boys and girls, is that when I hit the ring come August 15th, is that regardless of if you’re aligned with NAPW, REBEL-PRO or Your own damned team, I’m going kicking ass, taking names, breaking necks, and writing checks. You wanna see a wrestling display, go watch Ring of Honor, ‘cause I seriously doubt that it’s gonna be found here.

And if you’re not down with that meat bags, then I got to say is – Bite my hairy, god forsaken ass!!!

[BloodHarvest]

Vocals: ... Torn flesh, soon to decay, organs exposed, in total disarray ...

[The double bass is pounding away as Thrill Kill is hammering his drumset into the ground. delivering a rapid and perfectly on time blast beat. Rocketsauce Malone and Deadpool shred their guitars to the fast rhythm set by Daniel, both axe wielding men rotating their heads like there was no tomorrow. Chaz does too, but suddenly just drops his bass and storms out of the practice room. The beat slowly dies down as Daniel is the last to realize what just happened. All that remains is the humming of the two big Marshall towers ...]

James: Dude what the hell, can't run out and stop playing in the middle of a song!

Roger: Yeah man that's like pulling out you know ...

Daniel: I had just totally felt it man ...

[Roger looks at him ...]

Roger: Felt what? Pulling out?

[A gargling sound comes from outside the room.]

James: Oh boy that sounds like he remembers our match ...

Daniel: Ask him about it and I am sure he doesn't ... speaking of which though, what's up with that NAPW vs Rebel rumble? Winner gets bragging rights? I thought that whole Rebel ... Pro ... thing was more or less only like the minor leagues, you know kinda like a farm team for NAPW. Like the Springfield Falcons or the Abbotsfield Heat ... neither play the Oilers or Flames for bragging rights.

Roger: Don't hate on the Falcons man and fark off with the Heat or the Flames ...

[James puts his guitar on the stand. Roger leaves his hanging to the side.]

James: Its all about The Oil baby ... but ... ok well umm, of course I did some research on that subject. It would appear we're supposed to fight alongside a few other NAPW guys ... next week.

[Roger looks at him.]

Roger: What do you mean next week? I still smell like the perfect BBQ ...

[Daniel grins and does a drumroll.]

Daniel: You want some cheese with that whine?

James: Look guys, I think we did pretty well all in all, got to fire off our Blood Gun, kicked some ass and even sold a few CDs during and after the show. Most importantly, we got our name out there. Life is good isn't it ...

[Chaz comes back into the room, grabs his bass and is about to play as he realizes the band stopped. Six eyes are on him as he looks around in confusion ...]

Chaz: Oh ...

[He puts his bass down again and takes a seat, mumbling something under his breath. He gets some weed out of a pocket to begin rolling himself a blunt.]

Chaz: My head is like ... a potato after being ran over by a freight train.

Roger: If you put the potato right in the middle of the tracks I don't think there would be much danger to it ...

Daniel: His head is never in danger cause he doesn't really need it anyways ...

[James looks at his bandmates one after the other. Chaz inhales deeply and is about to enter his very own world. James sighs but well, two out of three guys listening isn't too bad after all.]

James: Ok umm cut the crap, everybody. We actually gotta try and figure out how to successfully get that match done. Its us and four other NAPW guys versus seven Rebel Pro guys versus one dude who is apparently up against the world. Gimme input ...

[Chaz coughs hard, eyes wide open, and appears ready to run to the bathroom again. He manages to contain himself this time however and speaks with a weird, high pitched tone in his voice ...]

Chaz: Good stuff ...

[Daniel and Roger look over to him and roll their eyes. James is getting slightly annoyed ...]

James: Input!

Roger: This is like when we go on tour with another band, and they come out and do guest performances during one of our songs. Right?

James: (eyes widen) I like where you are going with this ...

Daniel: We only have so many instrumens to go around ...

Roger: Like when Maddog McGraw came up to do that solo with us when we played that show in Edmonton last year. He tore the place up!

James: Yeah! Three axes were shredding cheese all over the stage. What a mess!

Daniel: What is this going to be? Blood Harvest and the NAPW philharmonic orchestra?

Roger: Who are those guys anyway?

[Daniel appears to be in deep thoughts...]

Daniel: A bunch of skin-flute players ...

[James rubs his chin for a moment, more or less ignoring the comments of his bandmates.]

James: Listen up. We gotta view this as some sort of ... lesson. See we team up with guys who have been in the ring like forever. I checked on their background and its like a jam session with Morbid Angel, Cannibal Corpse and Death ... may Chuck rest in piece ... at once! And we're getting paid for it! That show is going to be invaluable for us ...

[He starts up the laptop and flips on the NAPW youtube channel. Roger and Daniel look at the screen while Chedda has meanwhile passed out on his chair, snoring hard. James looks at him and shrugs ... and back to the screen.]

Daniel: Kid Loser hm? The hell kinda lame name is that? (BLEEP), that guy is greener than we are ... [grins] ... and he is on the opponent team!

James: Score one for the good guys...

Roger: That Chad Kurtis dude though has had more titles in NAPW and Rebel than Chedda has jager in a week, which is quite the accomplishment!

Daniel: So what? He's all by himself. But he's cool cause he smashed up his locker room! That's (BLEEP) metal!

Roger: No way he's metal, he cleaned up the room afterwards. How is that cool?

[James has a broad smile on his face...]

James: Look at our boys though! Lloyd Rees is a (BLEEP) legend! Three time NAPW world champ! Former Rebel world champ! Former three time NAPW tag team champion ...

[Daniel, still seated behind his obscenely large kit, plays a drum roll.]

James: Taboo! He may be short, but he's strong as an ox. Also has a title to his credit.

[Another drum roll.]

James: Bruce "The Beast" Richards! Another former world champ and a six time tag team champion. Holy crap!

[Drum roll!]

James: And Steve Parker ... former Heritage champion!

[Last drum roll, Daniel flings a stick in the air and catches it right back to hit a cymbal with it. Skills!]

James: That's it, the folks we get to share a stage with at Supershow, with enough gold to their credit to light up ... light up ...

Daniel: A seriously dark place?

James: ... Light up a seriously dark place, yes thank you. We can't possibly lose!

Daniel: We can't possibly lose!

Roger: No way, can't lose!

James: Blood Harvest will reign supreme. Hail metal!

Roger and Daniel: Hail metal!

[Chedda McBungle wakes up from his nap. Looking around in confusion, he holds up his left hand while he covers his mouth with the right. Chaz storms out of the room.]

[HORNS]

[SteveParker]

Familiar female voice: "Are we rolling?"

Familiar, heavily-accented male voice: "Yes, ma'amm."

Female: "Ugh, that's creepy. Just call me 'Marie'."

Male: "Yes, ma'am."

*The camera fades up inside of a limosine. We see Marie sitting next to the window, peering into the night through the tinted glass, as if searching for something... or someone. Esteban, from behind the camera, speaks up again.*

Esteban: "Are you sure he is here?"

Marie, raising her eyebrows and shrugging: "The airline said he took a flight to Miami International. The loud Cubano music blaring in the background when he called last sort of implies that he stayed here."

Esteban: "Why are we filming this?"

Marie: "Because when we find the bastard, and he sobers up, I want him to watch this and feel embarrassed for the stupid s*** he gets himself into when he drunkenly wallows in his self-pity."

*After a brief silent moment, the limo driver speaks up.*

Driver: "Did he tell you anything else, or did he say anything about his surroundings?"

*Marie knits her eyebrows together and gnaws on her bottom lip in thought.*

Marie: "He said something about palm trees, neon lights, and... a tall lady with big hands dressed like a flamingo."

Driver, nodding: "I think I might know where he is."

*After several minutes of driving (fast-forwarded, of course), the limo is crawling at a snail's pace along a street full of male, female, and... fence-sitting pedestrians, surrounded by bright lights and loud music of different styles seemingly dueling with each other. Marie rolls down the window for a better look when, on the sidewalk, she sees a muscular woman dressed as a pink chorus line dancer, decorated with flamingo feathers. While her makeup gives her the appearance of Tyra Banks, her Adam's apple and crotch-bulge are quite un-lady-like. Marie beckons the "woman" to the car, to which the dancer replies in kind by 'tude stepping to the open window. The lady looks at Marie, then over to the camera, and then throughout the back of the car before addressing Marie.*

"Woman": "Sorry, honey, I don't do this sort of thing anymore."

*The Amazon starts to walk off.*

Marie: "'Thing'?! No, wait! I'm trying to find my friend. Male, mid-to-late-twenties, shaved head, athletic, probably nicely dressed... *pauses, searching for some tell-all detail* ...smiles like a used car salesman?"

*Lightbulb! The he-she smiles, recognizing the description.*

"Woman": "Oh yeah... he came up to me, gettin' some freaky dance on. Not bad for not knowing what he was doin'. Course he high-tailed it when he found out we had the same toolbox."

Marie: "Ghugh... umm, anyway, have you seen him?"

"Woman": "Yeah, he went down to the beach, *pointing* go down to the end of the street. You can reach the beach through the entrance by the bus stop. Pretty much across the intersection, can't miss it."

Marie: "Thank you. *Rolling up the window while speaking quietly to the driver* Go, go, go, go!"

*The limo picks up speed and cruises down to where the street tees with another. Behind the stop light, a big archway welcomes passers-by to the beach area. The limo starts to cross into the parking lot when the driver makes a sharp left, catching the passengers by surprise and jostling them around. Before Marie gets a chance to chew the driver out, she catches something outside of the window behind Esteban. Marie quickly unbuckles her seatbelt and gestures to Esteban to follow suit. After some shaky camera work, the lens comes to rest outside of the car. Sitting on the bus stop bench, alone and slouching, is our Star-Spangled Sensation, looking less-than-sensational, The Smile completely absent. His white dress shirt is unbuttoned at the top, necktie around his head backwards like a ponytail. His pants have multi-colored stains on them, and he's only wearing one sock. His gold wristwatch is conveniently around his other ankle. As Marie approaches, she stops for a second to catch her breath and plug her nose. She cautiously takes a seat to the left of Steve Parker, talking with a motherly-yet-stuffed tone as to not indulge in Parker's stinkiness.*

Marie: "Steve? It's us... we're here to take you home. We've got to get you back on track, okay?

*Parker mumbles and slurs his response.*

Parker: "Don't wanna..."

Marie: "Come on, it'll be okay. It's only your first NAPW loss, you can bounce back..."

Parker: "But I *burp* lost her, Marie! I lost my precious North *hic* American Title... did you see what that snot-nosed brat did to me? How very rude and unsportsman-like!"

Marie: "I know, I know. Come on, let's get in the limo, and we'll talk all about it..."

*Marie tries to stand a resisting Steve Parker up to his feet when blue and red flashes blind both of them. Two car doors can be heard closing, and footsteps approach. The two DyNasty representatives try to shield their eyes from the flashlights. The camera turns to spot two policeman sauntering over. One is in his mid-thirties, black hair with some graying and five-o-clock shadow on his face. He seems in decent shape, whereas his partner looks like your typical early-twenties Florida beach bum trapped in unifirm: tan, muscular, clean-cut. Every movement the junior officer makes seems to be accentuated with some sort of flexing or posing, as if he is hoping to impress a muscle and fitness bigwig who might happen to pass by. Upon catching sight of Marie, he puffs up more, showing off his "guns". The older cop smacks him, trying to focus his partner.*

Older Ofc.: "Good evening, folks. I'm Officer Deschain, this is my partner, Officer Dean. Are you guys alright?"

Marie: "Yes, sirs, we're fine, just trying to get my intoxicated friend home."

Officer Dean: "We received a call from some worried tourists about a bald woman ina suit crying like she was stabbed... *a confused look grows as the officer observes the situation* umm... or was it a bald man in a suit with a crying woman?"

Marie, wiping her eyes: "No, Officer, he just smells really foul, and it's making my eyes water."

Officer Deschain: "I thought it smelled like a drunk Russian after bobsledding in a full porta-potty."

Parker: "Cursed Communists..."

Officer Deschain, eyeing the camera: "Are you filming this?"

Marie: "Yes, I'm hoping he'll be ashamed of himself when I show this to him later. See, he's a pro wrestler, and he just lost his title. It seems that it shook him up worse than..."

Officer Dean: "Hey, wait, aren't you Steve Parker?"

*Everyone, even Parker, gives the young policeman a strange look.*

Ofc. Dean: "Yeah, you wrestle for New Alberta Pro Wrestling! You just had that brutal match with Hostile! Oh man, sorry about you losing the strap!"

Ofc. Deschain: "Excuse me, young grasshoppah, but how would you know about a Canadian wrestling organization?"

Ofc. Dean: "Well, I belong to the Rebel Pro Fan Club..."

Ofc. Deschain: "The local outfit out of the Carolinas..."

Ofc. Dean: "Right, my brother lives there, and he got me into them. Anyway, when you become a fan club member, you also get news from their sister fed, the NAPW, where this guy comes from. In fact, next week, they're doing a co-promotional show, and Steve Parker here is in the big battle royal."

Ofc. Deschain: "Convenient."

Marie: "I was just trying to remind him that this is only his first loss in the NAPW..."

Ofc. Dean: "Didn't he lose in Rebel Pro, too?"

*Parker sniffles and whimpers. Marie stares daggers into the young officer while his partner smacks the back of Dean's head. Deschain fumbles to recover his associate's blunder, hoping to find anything to cheer the downtrodden Parker up.*

Ofc. Deschain: "Well... I mean, you were just champion, right? That has to mean something..."

*Parker nods half-heartedly.*

Marie, with a hint of pride: "He was one of the fastest-rising Heritage Champions ever, capturing the belt in less than a month after his debut."

Ofc. Dean: "And he beat a lot of the top guys, both on his way to the title and in defending it."

Ofc. Deschain: "Wow, impressive! Wait, does this have anything to do with that Mountie-looking guy a couple of months back who was harrassing the locals here with a cattle prod?"

Ofc. Dean: "This guy beat him. And now that guy is World Champion."

Ofc. Deschain: "Umm, wow. That makes you World Title-material. That's... cool..."

*Parker suddenly tosses his cookies, Linda Blair-style. Everyone dodges to avoid the stream, and some are successful...*

Ofc. Dean: "Oh, not cool, now my shoes are spotted."

Parker, less mumbly: "That's not all of my worries..."

*Everyone stops and stares at the former champ, waiting for him to continue.*

Parker: "You see, I'm in this battle royal as a representative of New Alberta Pro Wrestling, the ONLY American representative. I'm a traitor to my own country, because I am fighting my fellow Americans, even if they are mouth-breathing knuckle-draggers. I am ashamed to claim this great land as my own."

*Parker starts to sob again.*

Marie: "No,Steve, no one judges you."

Ofc. Dean: "Yeah, I mean, come on. Look at who you stand with: you've got Lloyd Rees and your old nemesis, Bruce 'The Beast' Richards, two former World Champs, Taboo, who is tough as nails, and thos guys who look like a Whitechapel cover band. They're crazy, but just crazy enough to be good for the NAPW side. Plus, you are THE American Ambassador, the only man who wears his patriotic pride on his sleeve. Lady Liberty will be proud of you, no matter what side you fight on, because you will always fight for America!"

*Marie nods, impressed. They all exchange glances, silently giving mental high-fives. Parker continues to stare off into space, The Smile trying to tug at the corners of his mouth, but a sigh stops It altogether. Marie studies Parker's face before turning to Esteban.*

Marie: "We need to do the song."

Esteban, sighing: "Do we have to?"

Marie: "Do you want to deal with him sobbing the whole way home? Didn't think so."

Ofc. Deschain: "What song?"

*Marie stands and walks over to the officers, lowering her voice just enough to make it hard to hear her. After the three have their huddle, Officer Deschain steps back, uneasy.*

Ofc. Deschain: "THAT is his inspirational song?"

Marie: "Yessir, and I promise it will work, and he'll be out of your hair."

Ofc. Deschain, nodding to the camera: "And this won't end up on TMZ or YouTube or anything like that?"

Marie: "You have my word."

*Officer Deschain sighs, then looks to his partner, who only shrugs. Marie starts clapping at a brisk rhythm, with the officers joining her in facing Steve Parker. The three wait for an eight-count before attempting to harmonize as backing vocals to a familiar tune.*

"American Males! American Males!
American Males! American Males!
American Males! American Males!
American Males!"

*The three continue to hold the beat, waiting another eight-count. Parker starts to respond, his right, sockless foot following the claps, his mouth twitching again. Hoping to finally get him going, they try another round.*

"American Males! American Males!
American Males! American Males!
American Males! American Males!
American Males!"

*This time, Parker shoots to his feet and makes a Loverboy-worthy power ballad pose before unleashing a vocal style that would make a Sammy Hagar tribute singer jealous.*

"WHEN YOU SEE THEM COMING, BETTER RUN FOR COVER
GIRLS, YOU DON'T NEED A WEEKEND LOVER...
MMMMMMMMM... AMERICAN MALES!

IF THEY WANNA TALK TO YOU, YOU BETTER NOT LISTEN
OR YOU MIGHT WIND UP IN CRITICAL CONDITION...
HA HAAAAAA... AMERICAN MALES!"

*The beat dissolves, and the claps become applause. The Smile has never been bigger, as Steve Parker wipes the saliva/vomit mixture from his mouth. He looks to his makeshift cheerleaders.*

Parker: "... LET'S GO KICK SOME REBEL ASS!!!"

*Everyone cheers for Parker as he marches to the open limo door, only to turn into groans of disgust as the Star-Spangled Sensation trounces through his own dinner. Officer Deschain talks into his walkie for a moment before gesturing to his partner to return to their car.*

Ofc. Deschain: "Let's go. Officer Chambers needs backup at the Slippery Nipple. Apparently, the lady-boys are revolting again. Ma'am, have a safe drive home."

Marie: "Thank you guys sooooo much! I promise, your secret is safe with me."

*Marie's cell rings as the officers depart, Dean lingering a little and waving. Marie rolls her eyes and answers the phone.*

Marie: "Hey... Yep, just picked him up, heading to the airport now... Wait, what are you doing in Arizona?..."

*Marie steps into the limo as the scene fades to black.*

[Lloyd Rees]

-In a dim lit room Lloyd Rees sits his head in his hands, rocking back and forth slowly.-

Lloyd Rees: How could dis be?

-We suddenly notice a shadowy reflection in a mirror.-

Familiar Voice: Patience Lloyd.

Lloyd Rees: Ya got t’be f**king kid’n…

-Lloyd pauses and pulls his head away from his hands.-

Lloyd Rees: Ya knew dis was go’n t’happen da whole time didn’t ya? Ya knew Astros was go’n t’cost me da match da whole time and ya said nothing! Why? WHY?! Answer me!

Familiar Voice: Things take a natural progression.

Lloyd Rees: Twice now I have failed us, failed “Da Mission”.

Familiar Voice: Your loss to Dan Ryan was a failure; this is just a mere set back.

Lloyd Rees: Astros must pay!

Familiar Voice: Exactly!

-The image fades from the mirror as does our scene.-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


-Standing in front of a banner for the upcoming NAPW/REBEL Pro Supershow VII, flanked by The Brothers O’Connor, is “The Wrestling Messiah” Lloyd Rees. Rees looks bitterly angry with the taste of defeat still lingering in his mouth after Donovan Astros’ ring bell shot to the head. Lloyd is not here to talk about Astros though; there will be plenty of time for that. His focus is the Supershow and the interfed rumble.-

Lloyd Rees: Looks like someone has decided d’hat da “Wrasslin’ Messiah” need t’be part of dis NAPW versus REBEL Pro Rumble. Well, I’m go’n t’tell everyone right now dis match is below me! Why would someone of me stature want t’grovel in da ring with da lowest of da lowlifes from da deeps of both da NAPW’s and REBEL Pro’s roster? But, d’hen it dawned on me…

Lloyd Rees: What a great opportunity t’once again solidify meself as one of da greatest wrasslers t’ever step inside da squared circle. So, I have decided t’put “Da Mission” on hold fer a mere moment and focus on da task at hand.

Lloyd Rees: When I look at da competitors in dis match very few of d’hem jump off da paper at me. Hell, d’ere are names here d’hat I barely even recognize from REBEL’s disgrace of a roster. Johnny Maverick, Christopher Samsonite, Kid Loser?! Not one of d’ese so called REBEL Superstars even raise an eyebrow fer me. Ye three are about t’witness something da likes ye have never seen befer, something you’ll never see in North Carolina; a great wrassler. But, it’s not just ye three who will be taken da burden; yer back up doesn’t look so hot either. Zeke, Kurtis, Corazones, Trey. All just second rate when ya compared d’hen to da pure greatness d’hat is Lloyd Rees.

Lloyd Rees: I’m not sold on NAPW contribution t’dis match either. We got three rookies, a self righteous American, an old man who’s been try’n t’find his way fer months, and a washed up douche bag who has decided d’hat he no longer good enough t’be NAPW World Champion and has t’settle fer da NAPW Heritage Championship. Now, it’s come’n into da light, da reason NAPW put me in dis match. D’hey knew, look’n at da other competitors d’hat d’hey didn’t stand a chance so d’hey pulled d’ere trump card.

Lloyd Rees: Last but, by no means least; we have da man who has decided t’be his own team, da Lloyd Rees wannbe, “Da Show” Chad Kurtis. To good fer REBEL, to good fer NAPW. I’m just going t’say dis, I hope it comes down t’me and you in d’hat ring Chad, so I can once again prove t’you d’hat you will never be Lloyd Rees.

Lloyd Rees: So, in all actuality, I’m look’n forward t’dis match. Plus, it gives me time t’think about what I’m go’n t’do to Astros…

-Fade.-

[M.J.]

[FADEIN: Taboo pacing around in front of a camera wearing a yellow, sleeveless THAT IS TABOO t-shirt in a locker room that has since been cleaned up after Chad Kurtis' rampage. Stitches are evident on his forehead. He stops his random pacing and turns to the camera. He points to the stitches.]

TABOO: See these stitches here? These are the reasons why I've been silent since Six Circles. I was so (BLEEP) angry that I purposely kept myself off-camera because I knew that no one wants to see a promo consisting of a bunch of (BLEEP) shit ass swears and (BLEEP) (BLEEP) (BLEEP) shit ass cursing. There are (BLEEP) kids watching this shit and I'm--wait, there I go again...

[Taboo takes a moment to collect himself.]

TABOO: My apologies. I promised myself I wouldn't become one of those wrestlers who delivers tirades full of foul language just to look tough, just to be badass, just to--

[Taboo takes a moment to collect himself.]

TABOO: Seriously, I'm really going to try. It's just that Hostile got me so (BLEEP) angry... God dammit! (BLEEP) it! I can't help it! Sorry kiddies. Sorry to the parents whose kids might start swearing and citing me as the source of their acquisition of these words. I just don't know how else to (BLEEP) express myself! There I was in the first World Title match of my LIFE: three men, Trent Daniels, The Outlaw and myself. Under SUBMISSION rules. And who was the obvious favorite under that rule regime? ...TABOO! The Outlaw with his power maneuvers and Daniels with his high-flying are no match for Taboo when it comes to technical precision and submission wrestling. But then comes along mother (BLEEP) Hostile to ONCE AGAIN (BLEEP) me over. To ONCE AGAIN mask his insecurities by trying to throw me off my game.

Hostile, I made a mistake once not beating the shit out of you after you cheated me in our submission match by using an illegal chokehold. I made a mistake twice by not beating the shit out of you after you cheated me in my match against Lloyd Rees. But this time, Hostile? This time I will NOT make the mistake again. You cheated me out of the World (BLEEP) Title. Were it not for you, I would be the World Heavyweight Champion. You (BLEEP). You (BLEEP)!

So, come the Supershow, (BLEEP) the battle royale. I don't give a shit about it. My aim at the Supershow is to teach you a lesson. Watch your back you piece of shit because I am willing to forfeit the battle royale--hell, I am willing to get suspended--just to get these two hands around your throat. I don't give a shit if I am expected to represent NAPW, all I know is I can't move forward in this industry until I stop whatever it is you are trying to do to me. If the powers that be want to punish me, good for them, but they aren't doing JACK SHIT when it comes to protecting me. Hostile, they've let you run rampant for too long and it is time for TABOO to take things into his own hands.

Maybe it will be as you park your car in the lot before the show. Maybe it will be as you get dressed in the locker room. Maybe it will be as you discuss strategy with Mikey Massacre, Cuzin Zeke and Vincent Black in a side room somewhere. Maybe it will be as you walk to the ring for your match with Hostile. Maybe it will be as you leave the ring. Maybe it will be as you try to drive off after the show. But at some point Hostile, at the Supershow, everyone is going to learn that Taboo refuses to stand idly by while someone else stands in his way!

THAT IS... TABOO!

[FADEOUT.]

[Matthew Kurtis]

(((The BlueGrass Mafia v2.0 (Matthew Kurtis and Jonothan Kurtis) are walking through the Raleigh-Durham International Airport accompanied by Lyndsey Valentine and Millicent Jones. Jonny and Mille are dragging suitcases as they are getting ready to head over to Japan for five events over the next week…)))

LYNDSEY: Millie, this is a big step and most of our family still ain’t sure if I should encourage you to go to Japan with Jonothan. You dad ain’t sure that the “Bluegrass Heart-throb” can be trusted alone in a foreign country with you.

MILLICENT: It’s all good, Lyndsey. I can handle Jonny. So you can tell dad not to worry besides Jonny got us separate rooms, didn’t you, Jonny? Jonny? JONOTHAN!

(((Jonothan who was staring at a couple or female flight attendants who were walking pass, while he was also talking to his brother, Matthew answers…)))

JONOTHAN: Yeah what!? Why are you yelling at me, Millie?

MILLICENT: Now that I have you’re attention. I was just telling Lyndsey that you booked us separate rooms at the hotel right?

JONOTHAN: Of course! You know you can trust me.

(((Lyndsey and Millicent stare at Jonothan with a “are you kidding me” look. Jonothan looking hurt looks to Matthew for support. Matthew just shrugs…)))

JONOTHAN: Well thanks for the support. And yes I did get us separate rooms, Jeez I get no respect.

MATTHEW: What hotel?

JONOTHAN: What Bro?

MATTHEW: Which hotel will you be at.

JONOTHAN: We’ll be at the Mercure Hotel on the Ginza in Tokyo. Very nice place right in the middle of the shopping district. You gotta love Priceline.

MATTHEW: Priceline? Why did you use Priceline I thought Raising Sun Championship Wrestling said that price wasn’t an object for the trip.

JONOTHAN: What can I say I love those commercials with William Shatner.

MATTHEW: It is hard to beat the “Shat”. All kidding aside are you ready for your matches over there? You know how hungry your opponents over there are.

JONOTHAN: Yeah I know, Matt. I have to face “The Jesus Freak” J.T. Graham, our old pal Will Zuluki, and two “mystery opponents” that won’t be announced until the night of the match. That’s cool though, you know J-Kurt’s ready for anything. But you need to worry about your match at the NAPW/REBEL Supershow and not worry about me.

MATTHEW: Thanks Bro. But I don’t need your advice. I’m ready for this match, I’m just not too fired up about this Team REBEL vs. Team NAPW concept . I know it’s a Supershow but a battle royal should be very man for himself. If this supposed to prove which fed is best they should’ve booked a elimination tag team match.

LYNDSEY: Well they didn’t book a tag team, so you have to take match they gave you.

MATTHEW: I know, I know. So I guess I’ll just have to win it all anyway.

(((The conversion lags as they reach the gate and Matt and Lyndsey have to stop…)))

JONOTHAN: Well guys this is where we go our separate ways for now.

MILLICENT: I guess so. This is exciting I can’t wait to get over there and go down to the ring with Jonny. Not to mention our tag team match, Lynds.

LYNDSEY: Yeah, you ready for your first match, Millie?

MILLICENT: Hell Yeah! I can’t wait. I know that we’ll kick ass together Lynds.

LYNDSEY: You know it, Millie. Just don’t drive Jonny crazy before we get there.

JONOTHAN: She won’t bug me. I just hope the competition won’t feel too bad when first I beat them to defend my title, then you come over after the Supershow, Matt, and whip them to keep your championship, then we face The Kamikazes for the Tag Team Championship, and finally we face Muto & Liger in untitle match.

MATTHEW: I know we have a busy couple of weeks in Japan and then in REBEL but it is what it is. Well good luck and we see you two in a few days. Take care, Jonothan.

JONOTHAN: Yeah you too, Matt I’ll see a few days.

(((Jonothan and Millicent walk through the gates and Millicent turns to wave at Matt and Lyndsey as the scene fades to black.)))

[Casanova]

The late summer sun smiles brightly on the sand. As we pan around we find ourselves on the strand just south of Station House Way on Cape Fear, North Carolina. In front of us the beach thrusts out into the blue deep dividing the Atlantic Ocean from Long Bay. Standing far out staring at the horizon is a lone figure in jeans and a t-shirt. We step around tufts of lyme and dune grass moving toward our subject.

As we approach the figure turns and gives us a knowing stare through his black and silver mask.

Corizones: Hola, mis amigos. (Hello, my friends.)

As he speaks in Spanish, his words are translated into English subtitles.

Corazones: It has been a long time since I have been honored to perform for you my fans and now upon my return to the squared circle it seems that I have been entered into a team event of sorts.

He starts to walk toward us with a crooked smile.

Corazones: ... But not quite. It is labled a Royal Rumble but it is not quite that either. Rumbles are supposed to be everyone for themselves, no holds barred and team events, even the elimination tag team ones are group efforts. With the members on one side supporting each other. The NAPW/Rebel Rumble is neither one thing or the other. Regardless as to how one views it though, I'm planning on entering this match with the intent on winning.

Stopping in front of us he tilts his head inquisativly.

Corazones: Will I support the Rebel entries into this bruhaha when they are pitted against our rivals? Sure. Will I sacrifice myself for the good of the team? Hell No!

Shaking his head, Rey walks on past us.

Corazones: First off, like I said, this is a rumble, it's supposed to be every man for himself. That plus I think it's high time I changed my image a bit. People around this place seem to equate being nice with being a door mat for everyone else to wipe their feet off on. From this point on, that's going to change.

We turn to see El Rey standing next to a black motorcycle. He takes a leather jacket that is drapped across it and puts it on.

Corazones: I don't care if you are a Bluegrass Badass, a Boy Band, a Loser, a Beast, Luggage, my former tag team partner or some Show Off. I'm going to be pulling out all of the stops to try and get the x in the W collumn.

Straddling the American Ironhorse and picking up the helmet, Rey looks back at us.

Corazones: I'll see everyone in the ring. Don't forget to bring your dancing shoes.


Putting the helmet on El Rey kick starts the motorcycle and throws up some sand as he rides off.

Fade to Black

[The Show Chad Kurtis]

Scene fades in as we find ‘The Show’ Chad Kurtis once again hanging out at the Rebel-Pro Kiosk inside of Northgate mall in Durham signing some autographs and help to build up the buzz around the Supershow. We join in the festivities as Rebel’s Rob Martinez begins interviewing ‘The Show’ for Rebel’s website…

Rob: Rebel management would like to once again thank you for taking time to come out to the kiosk and do a meet and greet with the fans.

Chad: Hey no problem. I enjoying giving back plus without the fans there would be no Rebel or NAPW. Besides that this gives me a little break from training. A little me time you know.

Rob: Let’s talk about how disappointed you were after falling short of claiming the NAPW world title.

Chad: Let’s not and said we did. That boat has already sailed and I will address my quest for the NAPW world title at a later date. What now let’s stay focused on the Supershow.

Rob: But before we focus on the Supershow wouldn’t you like to address how Massacre continues to avoid you?

Chad: I really don’t want to address Massacre at this time either but I will say this he can run but he can’t hide. ‘The Show’ earned a shot at the Rebel world title and he will get it and take full advantage of it . Now can we focus on the task at hand, the NAPW-Rebel Supershow.

Rob: Now let’s talk about the Supershow. You opponent’s have had a lot to say about you this week, does this make you feel like a target?

Chad: Damn right my opponents have had a lot to say about me. I have been called everything from a redneck special to a show-off to a second rate Lloyd Rees wanna-be. And you know what I like it like that. It let’s me know that I got there attention. It let’s me know that I got them a little scared. It let’s me know that they know I am a threat.

Rob: All that maybe true but you are on a team by yourself how do you expect to survive in that kind of environment?

Chad: I know on paper it doesn’t look like I have much of a shot but stranger things have happened. Let’s just break down each team for a minute starting with Team Rebel do you will see Matt, Zeke, El Rey, Maverick, Samsonite, and Kid Loser working together as a team? Now take Team NAPW with Rees, Blood Harvest, Parker, The Beast, and Taboo. Do you really think that is a team sold on team unity? Everyone on these teams, everyone in this match has their own agenda and I don’t think NAPW or Rebel pride is too high on either team list.

Rob: So what exactly is your agenda?

Chad: My agenda is simple. My agenda is to use this match as not only a bounce-back victory but a statement match. But most importantly my agenda is to walk away from the match victorious!

Rob: And exactly what statement do you plan on making?

Chad: Simple. I am making a statement to both Mikey Massacre and Trent Daniels that ‘The Show’ is coming for you and he wouldn’t rest until he has won both the NAPW and the Rebel world championships!

Rob: That would be some statement. Now for a question that might sting a little, if you never successfully challenge for the NAPW world title do you think it will put a dent in your legacy?

Chad: I ain’t concerned with my legacy just yet or am I consider with what if I never win the NAPW world title. Why? Because I am going to win it. Hear my words, Trent Daniels, and enjoy the title while you have it because I am coming for you.

Rob: Let focus back on the Supershow and get your thoughts on the man who seems to have had the most to say about you, Lloyd Rees.

Chad: The self-proclaimed messiah of wrestling. I believe Rees called me a ‘Lloyd Rees wannabe’ that funny because being like Rees is the last thing I wannabe. I give the guy some props he got the accomplishments. No doubt about it. But I just don’t understand how he can live with that ego of his. But me and ‘The Lemondrop Kid’ do see eye-to-eye on one thing.

Rob: Do tell.

Chad: We both hope it comes down to me and him. Mano-y-Mano. I want it to come down to me and him so when I execute the CK Finale on him and discard his useless body over the top rope maybe if just for a few seconds it will force him to stop running his mouth!

Rob: So do you think you and Rees are the favorite in this match up?

Chad: It’s hard to say. You have dark horses like Matt and Zeke who just because of their size are a force to be reckoned with. Then you have Parker, Taboo, and The Beast who have a chance to win every time they are in the ring. It’s just a guessing game at this point. But one thing I know for sure is ‘The Show’ ain’t going out with out a fight. Like I said I plan to use this match to make a statement!

Rob: I am being told you are needed back at the kiosk so good luck at the Supershow.

Chad: Trust me Rob I don’t need luck. I have skills and determination and that will carry me to victory!


Scene fades to black as ‘The Show’ returns to the kiosk….

[BloodHarvest]

[The scene opens up in the dark hole known as the jam space. Blood Harvest is shredding through a few licks. The evil, brutal and disgustingly heavy death metal band is right on par today as Daniel pounds on his drums with buckets of sweat pouring off of him.]

James: We will make you bleeeeeeeeed! Ripping out your spleeeeen! All of you shall screeeeeeam! Tort-ur-ing Lloyd Reeeeeeeees!

[The band stops. Dead in their tracks.]

Daniel: What the (BLEEP) was that?

Roger: Seriously.

James: What?

Daniel: Torturing Lloyd Rees?

Roger: Seriously.

James: What about him?

Daniel: You actually think we are going to let you name drop Lloyd Rees in one of our songs?

James: Sure, why not?

Daniel: Why not? What do you mean why not? What the (BLEEP) kind of metal do you listen too? You NEVER use a persons name. What do you think we are? A vengeful hip hop artist? Jesus christ James.

James: Well I just fi...

Daniel: No.

Roger: Seriously.

James: But...

Daniel: No! Cut that shit out. There has to be something better that flows with bleed, spleen and scream. I hardly even know this Rees chap anyway. So what makes you think the legions of fans that we are about to fall into, will know who he is?

James: Well I...

[James stumbles over his words.]

Daniel: Exactly! Nobody knows who that Donair eatin bastard is, outside of a small circle of wrestling marks. Hell, you could have...

[Roger starts growling]

Roger: WE'LL EAT YOU WITH MEEEEAAAAAD!

Daniel: Exactly. Even the lyrically retarded Roger has better writing on this song.

James: FINE! (BLEEP)!

[James clenches his fist and swings his guitar around in protests. But he gives into the bands demands and steps back up the microphone for one more try.]

Daniel: Ok, one more time from the tippity top mother (BLEEP)! ONE! TWO! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

[Blood Harvest jams through the song. James gets the lyrics and lead guitar down perfectly as Daniel blast beats, Roger rides the rhythm, Chaz somehow musters up enough sobriety to remember his bass lines. All the members look at each other with huge grins on their faces.]

James: Thank you Calgary!!!

Daniel: We're in Viking, James.

James:... Uh... THANK YOU VIKING!

Roger: Thank you ring rats!

Chaz: Thank you India... Thank you Providence... Thank You THANK YOU SIIIILEEENNNCEE!

[As Chaz goes through an utterly horrible rendition of "Thank You" By Alanis Morrisette, Daniel whips a drumstick at his head and connects. Chaz falls to the ground as if he's been shot.]

Daniel: Please kill him now.

Roger: Seriously.

[Daniel and James both sharply look at Roger with eyes set to kill. Roger looks away like a scalded dog.]

James: Alright boys, good work today!

[Chaz grabs a bottle of rubbing alcohol that was sitting on top of the speaker stack and takes a big swig, followed by a disgusted groan and eyes that bulge.]

Roger: I don't think you're supposed to drink that Chaz.

Daniel: Don't discourage him Roger. Look at how happy he is.

[Chaz drops to the floor and starts spinning around in circles as he screams "WHOOOOOP WHOOOOOP WHOOOOP"]

Roger: My god... I almost feel sorry for him.

Daniel: I almost feel sorry for Chad Kurtis.

James: "Cry Baby" Chad Kurtis!

Daniel: Did you guys see his interview? He was totally holding back those tears. Maybe there is no crying in wrestling, but he certainly walks a fine line between pussy and ...

James: Perhaps Kid Loser would be an appropriate name for him?

Roger: Then what do we call Kid Loser? Kid Loser 2?

Daniel: Kid Nubshit.

Roger: Right! So, Chad Kurtis is now Kid Loser and Kid Loser is now Kid Nubshit?

James: Correct! So Lloyd Rees can now be Chad Kurtis, but with a drunken eastern slur.

Chaz: [from the floor] I'se the b'y that builds the boat. And I'se the b'y that sails her!

James, Roger and Daniel just stare at him for a moment before they decide its best to just ignore him.

James: That dickweed Lloyd Rees thinks he "too good" to even be in the match with us. I say, let him no show. The less scum the ring, the less clean up after the match. I hate that son of a btich, and I've only ever heard him speak once. SPEAK (BLEEP) ENGLISH OR DIE!

Daniel: S.O.D. own!! [HORNS!]. I say (BLEEP) him. If he wants to run his mouth about how (BLEEP) great he is, then why doesn't he join us on stage and see if he can run the drums like he runs his mouth. I'd bet two donairs that he'd fail faster than the eastern canadian fishing industry.

James: And what the (BLEEP) is with Steve Parker? Whitechapel cover band? What kind of obscured bullshit is that?

Roger: He's on our team, remember?

James: So? He's a (BLEEP) idiot too.

Chaz: But he sings like an angel!

James: Say what?

Chaz: AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES! He touched me in places I never knew existed [sheds one tear of pure alcohol]

Roger: You might have competition for lead vocals there James [nudge nudge]

James: [mumbles] I'll rip out his vocal chords before he even has a shot at trying out.

Daniel: Jealous much James?

James: All I'm saying is that even though he's on our team, doesn't mean I have to like him. I was going to suggest that we all get together and see if each one our team mates would do a guest appearance in one of our songs. But now? No (BLEEP) way. Ronnie James Dio wanna be.

Daniel: You're starting to sound more and more like an ignorant lead singer every day.

James: Thank you! I'll take that as a compliment. And you are becoming fatter by the second. Get back on those drums chubby. You're weighing down the room.

[Daniel kicks over his drum kit and lunges at James. The two wrestled around on the floor, yanking each others hair. Roger pulls out a Baby Ruth and starts eating it casually.]

Roger: (BLEEP) these are awesome. [munch munch]

[KICK! PUNCH! HEADBUTT! KITCHEN SINK!]

Chaz: WTF! WTF!

[Chaz jumps on top of both of them. Roger finishes his candy bar and throws the rapper on the floor. He shrugs his shoulders and then he jumps into the fight as well. There is long hair flying everywhere, and band shirts being ripped apart all over the place.]

James:That was a limited edition Vader shirt you (BLEEP)!

[Daniel has James by the throat, still throttling him. Chaz has Roger in the weakest looking headlock ever with Roger casually reversing with a collar and elbow tie up. Daniel stops.]

Daniel: Hey... You did it!

James: Oh my god Roger, you actually did the Collar and Elbow tie up successfully!

[Roger is impressed with himself and raises his head in the air to gloat, but not before Daniel drills him in the chicklets for good measure.]

Daniel: Don't get too cocky there Loverboy. Nothing beats a swift punch to the face.

Roger: My beautiful face!

James: Alright. Enough fun and games guys.

Daniel: Guys guys ... there is something I was going to mention but almost forgot ... have you noticed how almost non of the others in this rumble seems to give a flying turd about it?

[James and Roger frown and think about it. Chaz clearly doesn't, he just lights up a cigarette. Is he even getting it? Unimportant ...]

James: You're right, come to think of it. They all have something else on their agenda than to focus on the match ahead ...

Daniel: [smiles] Which should totally play in our hands. Cause we're focussed ... right?

James: Hell yeah!

Roger: I was born focussed!

[All three look at Chaz, waiting for his input ...]

Chaz: Eh? [He opens a bottle of beer with his lighter ...]

Daniel: Right, he's as focussed as they come. Great! So we will have a ... [gulp] ... manager outside of the ring who is totally having our backs. We can only win.

James: OH! And guess what guys.

Group: Oi?

James: I got us a little surprise!

Daniel: You better not have. The last time you got "us" a surprise, Chaz had to go to the doctor because we thought he caught an STD.

Roger: Thank god I had a condom.

Daniel: Aye. Thank god it's only Chaz.

Chaz: BUUUUUUUURP

James: No, this is WAY better. It's outside. Come on!

[The four stumble their way out of the jam space and open the door to the outside. The sunlight hits them like a kick in the dick due to the jam spaces' lack of windows.]

Daniel: Bloody (BLEEP) that sun is bright!

James: Ok guys... here it is.

[James points over to a rusted pile of metal that somewhat resembles an old ambulance. It has the paramedic symbol on the side, but rust has bubbled the metal all around it. The lights are still in tact, probably the only thing that looks esthetically up to par.]

Daniel: The (BLEEP)?

Roger: You got us an ambulance?

James: It was ONCE an ambulance... But now... IT'S OUR NEW TOUR BUS!

[Daniel gives James a little shove, which almost sparks another full out band brawl. But, cooler heads prevail and the band starts looking over the rust bucket turned tour bus.]

Daniel: How did you afford this? We are like 30,000 in the hole already! We already blew the money from our first match on porno and booze. WTF!

James: I have my ways...

Roger: You got another loan. Didn't you?

Daniel: JAMES.

James: Well...

Daniel: Alright, that's it. Steve Parker is the new singer.

James: Hey wait hear me out. We need a tour bus because god knows taking Rogers Geo Metro is getting a little bit (BLEEP) old.

Daniel: Last time I had Chaz's nuts sitting 2 inches from my face because we had to fold him in there on top of us.

James: Exactly. And maybe this thing looks like a piece of shit now, but wait until we trick it out and turn it into our very own.... BLOODBULANCE!

Daniel & Roger: Bloodbulance?

Chaz: BLAMBYSHAMP!

James: (BLEEP) yeah. And we'll have a wicked evil ride and when we drive it around it'll promote our band. Just picture our logo on this bad boy. Everybody will be buying our cd out of the trunk... er... double doors.

[Daniel and Roger look at each other, and both give an understanding shrug.]

Daniel: That would be pretty sweet.

Roger: So is it safe to say we're not several thousand dollars more in debt?

James: Perhaps...

Daniel: Then I guess we better start beating some (BLEEP) ass in that ring. We get more money if we win.

Roger: Yeah, winning would be nice.

James: Right, now At the Supershow, you REBEL cock rock assholes are going to be thanking us for having an ambulance on site. I'm fixing to punch dance my rage right through each one of you and bring home the win for Blood Harvest... and I guess NAPW. But if for some reason we don't get the job done in the ring, this front bumper might end up being painted red with your blood. Either way, you better tell your roadies to have body bags on stand by, because one way or another, your blood is coming with us! HAIL!

Roger: We aren't coming to play tiddly winks!

[Daniel and James give Roger another cock eyed look, and Roger throws his arms up in the air as to say "What?"]

All Together Now: HAIL BLOOD HARVEST!

[HORNS!]

[End scene]

[Lloyd Rees]

"Wrasslin' Messiah" Lloyd Rees: A sacrifice is in order!

-“Wrasslin’ Messiah” Lloyd Rees stands behind a make shift altar. Rees’s black shroud has been replaced by a long black hooded robe. The Beard protrudes from the hood, menacing. Flanking Lloyd are the NAPW Tag Team Champions, his loyal Disciples, The Brothers O’Connor. Lloyd looks out from under the hood and stares into the camera.-

“Wrasslin’ Messiah” Lloyd Rees: And d’hat sacrifice with be da Superstars of REBEL Pro!

-As if on cue, both Sean and Seamus light fires in copper kettles next to them. The camera returns to Lloyd.-

“Wrasslin’ Messiah” Lloyd Rees: Each one of d’ese so called “Superstars” will be da perfect sacrifice t’him and to “Da Mission”.

-Sean holds up an 8x10 image.-

“Wrasslin’ Messiah” Lloyd Rees: Cuzin’ Zeke; a worthless hillbilly. How ya have ever attainted anything in da wrasslin’ world astonishes me. Ya may not have da inring abilities t’be worth much but, yer sheer size will make him happy.

-Sean drops the image in to the fire closest to him and it is engulfed. Seamus now holds up a picture.-

“Wrasslin’ Messiah” Lloyd Rees: El Rey de Corazones. Again, just like yer former partner Zeke, you don’t have much t’offer him in the name of skills but, yer rugged good looks will please him.

-Release and El Rey de Corazones goes up in flames. Sean holds out another.-

“Wrasslin’ Messiah” Lloyd Rees: Johnny Maverick, now here is da sacrifice of skills d’hat he is look’n fer. Yer brash young attitude will make him very pleased.

-Flame, then another 8x10. The trend continues.-

“Wrasslin’ Messiah” Lloyd Rees: Christopher Samsonite, Kid Loser, Mike Trey, and Matthew Kurtis. D’ese men have nothing of great importance t’offer him but, d’hey are warm bodies none da less. Now, even though d’ese men are not da great, meaningful, sacrifice d’hat he is look’n fer it is necessary fer me t’go through d’hem all t’get at da one he wants.

-Brother Sean holds up a photo of "The Show” Chad Kurtis.-

“Wrasslin’ Messiah” Lloyd Rees: Da one man d’hat wants nothing more in dis world t’be me. Chad wishes d’hat he had half da reputation I have throughout da wrasslin’ world, d’hat he was a household name in millions of homes not t’just be known in da trailer parks of North Carolina. Get over Kurtis, it ain’t ever go’n t’happen. Yer look’n at da man d’hat is yer superior and forever will be. It don’t matter if were in North Carolina or Alberta, I’M BETTER D’HAN YOU, face it.

“Wrasslin’ Messiah” Lloyd Rees: I hope all dis is get’n under yer skin Chad. Yer sit’n home now turn’n red as yer blood pressure raises just fron listen’n t’me words. I want nothing more d’hen fer ya t’go into dis rumble with a head of steam, toss’n people left and right until ya get yer hands on Lloyd Rees. D’hen what happens? Chad Kurtis throws Lloyd Rees over da top rope and finally gets a moment of satisfaction know’n d’hat ya eliminated da man d’hat has better ya time and time again or is it like reading d’hat favorite old book of yers fer da tenth time, hope’n da end’n is different just dis once but, like all good stories, in never changes.

-Sean lets the image drop and even before it enters the flames it is burnt to ash.-

“Wrasslin’ Messiah” Lloyd Rees: Not only will dis Rumble be a huge win fer da NAPW but, it gives me a chance t’vanquish one of da greatest banes to “Da Mission”. He will be proud!

-Fade.-

[Matthew Kurtis]

(((Inside the REBEL Arena in Raleigh, North Carolina we find REBEL backstage interviewers Jenny Jersey and Chet Whettleson giving the stink-eye to their NAPW counterparts of Josh Reynolds, Bob, and Intern Pete. The five of them are looking to scoop each other on interviews of the various REBEL and NAPW Superstars that are taking part in the NAPW/REBEL Supershow. It curious to note that the backstage personnel have about the same amount of animosity toward each other as the wrestlers have displayed so far.
Suddenly the loud roar of two Harley Davidson motorcycles are heard outside and the five microphone jockeys “leap” into action trying to make it to the door to interview whoever walks through the door (judging by the Harleys it’s most likely the “Bluegrass BadAss” Matthew Kurtis and Lyndsey Valentine). Josh Reynolds actually has a slight lead on everyone but is tripped up by Chet Whettleson. Bob and Intern Pete make headway until they are run over by both Chet and Josh as all four of the guys go down in a tangle of arms and legs. Jenny who lagged behind the boys walks around the quarrelling quartet and stands at the ready with her camera-man…)))

JENNY(Talking to her camera-man): See Jeff, sometimes it does pay to wear 5 inch heels and not be able to run.

(((Matthew Kurtis and Lyndsey Valentine walk into the REBEL Arena Matt looks over at the four male interviewers as they finally break-up their “fight”. He shakes his head in bemusement at the spectacle and walks over to Jenny…)))

MATTHEW: What’s that all about Jenny? The nerd squad fighting over who gets to drink your bathwater?

JENNY: MATTHEW!

LYNDSEY: You lucky he’s being nice, Jenny or he would been more descriptive in his question. So what is the real story with the Nerd-for-All?

JENNY: Well, let’s just say that the wrestlers aren’t the only ones trying to “one-up” each other here at the Supershow.

LYNDSEY: In other words they’re were fighting for the chance to interview, the “Big Cat Daddy”.

MATTHEW (Looking disgusted at Chet, Josh, Bob, and Pete): All right, boys! That’s enough, you guys are fighting like a pack of dogs over a three legged cat. And not fighting very well at all. In fact y’all make Joey Malone look like Ric Flair. Watching you four almost makes me ashamed to be a man so stop it before you embarrass our gender anymore.

(((The four would be interviewers break up their fight and sulk off embarrassed as Matt turns his attention to Jenny…)))

JENNY: Matt you’re one of the participants in The REBEL/NAPW Rumble as a member of Team REBEL. Now a few of the others have been critical of the format of this match and say any teamwork exhibited in the match either won’t last or is purely accidental. Do you feel the same way?

MATTHEW: Funny you should ask that Jenny. When we were at the airport seeing Jonny and Millie off to Japan, I brought up this exact same question. I say to me it would have made sense that if they wanted a match that might prove which fed was superior then they sure have had a Elimination Tag Team Match instead of this “Team Rumble”.

JENNY: Maybe that’s what they had in mind at first.

MATTHEW: You may be right Jenny who knows. Maybe they did until someone realized that there were 15 wrestlers in the match. Then again the light bulb might have went off when someone realized that there was no way on God’s green Earth the groups from REBEL and NAPW were going to function together. I mean, Hell. Look at the REBEL “team”. I detest Zeke, plus him and the FTC are dedicated themselves to destroying REBEL and now he’s defending the company’s gone. What the Hell? Then there’s El Rey and I know he doesn’t like me since I handed him his ass on my first night back in REBEL so we probably ain’t going to have the best chemistry in the world. I don’t know a whole Helluva lot about Johnny Maverick still so I don’t have a real good idea what he brings to the fight. Then there’s Chris Samsonite, how terrifying a man who’s name sounds like your luggage. Then we have a new guy who calls himself Kid Loser, well there’s a name that inspires confidence. Hell maybe he should call himself Steve Lombardi, Jr. Then there’s the Assman and you never know what the Hell he’s going to do. Does the sound like a cohesive fighting unit to you, Jenny? It sure as Hell doesn’t sound like one to me.

JENNY: Well what about the NAPW team, Matt? They seem about as disorganized as Team REBEL from what I’ve gathered.

MATTHEW: Hell, I don’t know “Team” NAPW’s internal problems. I know that Lloyd Rees and Bruce always have to be taken seriously and then there’s Taboo, who since he’s Chad’s NAPW Tag Team partner is a kinda fringe BGM member. Then there’s Peter….er…Steve Parker who’s apparently running to replace Uncle Sam as an American symbol. Finally we have the Blood Harvest, a wannabe heavy metal group that makes Fozzy look like Metallica. These teams would be so dysfunctional they would make the Bundys seem like the Huxtables.

JENNY: Seems like you don’t like anybody else in this match, Matt.

MATTHEW: Actually there is one man in the match I can trust until it comes down to me and him but ironically he’s the man listed as his “Own Damned Team”.

JENNY: You mean your brother “The Show” Chad Kurtis.

MATTHEW: That’s right, I am talking about Chad. Since he wrestles in both REBEL and NAPW he is representing himself in the rumble. Well, let’s be honest we’re all out for ourselves no matter what “team” everyone’s on. That being said, Chad and me will work together and watch each other’s backs until we eliminate everyone else and then….well…all bets are off.

JENNY: You sound pretty confident that it’ll wind up as you and Chad as the final men in the match.

MATTHEW: Why wouldn’t I be confident to be one of the last two guys in the match? It is a battle royal and I am almost 7 feet tall and I way 350 pounds. Who’s going to throw over the top rope if I don’t want to go? Nobody, that’s who. And as far as Chad being the last man over the top rope and why I’m so sure it’ll be him, well he is “The Show” after all. Everyone will notice me when that Pantera hits and walk to the ring wearing and carrying all my Japanese gold but they’ll take even more notice of me at the end of the match when I’m standing tall as the winner of the “Team Rumble”.

(((With that Matthew and Lyndsey walk away as Jenny wraps up her segment and the scene fades to black.))))

[The Black Beast]

--TOPIC: SUPERSHOW BATTLE ROYALE!?!?!--

Moderators: Nosey, PeterParker, SueSannAh

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
by R3B3LPR0_B1TCH >> September 12, 2009 8:32 pm

The show is only a little bit away, what do you think? I think El Rey is gonna take it he's the best thing in REBEL right now. What do you guys think?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
by Mike Hunt >> September 12, 2009 9:13 pm

Nah, man. Gotta be Lloyd Rees. LDK went crazy: CRAZY GOOD.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
by RadRock NoBama >> September 12, 2009 9:17 pm

NITE THYME'S GONNA TAKE IT HOME FOR REBEL PRO TRUST ME IT'S GONNA HAPPEN I KNOW PEOPLE BACKSTAGE.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
by SuckerPunch >> September 12, 2009 9:18 pm

Shut up, RadRock.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
by RadRock NoBama >> September 12, 2009 9:21 pm

NO YOU SHUT UP I DONT CARE IF YOU DONT LIKE ME BUT YOU CANT NOT LIKE SAMSONITE

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
by SuckerPunch >> September 12, 2009 9:22 pm

For god's sake get away from the keyboard. I'm actually getting dumber reading what you have to say.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
by SueSannAh >> September 12, 2009 9:23 pm

Simmer down boys. The next one of you to get ornery is getting banned. This is your LAST warning.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
by Massacre's Mom >> September 12, 2009 9:23 pm

You know that the only reason Mikey Massacre's not in this match is because the NAPW brass told REBEL-PRO he couldn't be in the match and that's why he's fighting Donavan Astros. You have Mikey in that battle royale, there's no question who the winner is. But right now, I'm going with The Show. He's got the touch; he's got the power.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
by Scottitude >> September 13, 2009 2:27 am

This match is gonna be lmae, its' a day away adn look howm any of the wrestlers havent shownup yet I'm glad I did'nt get my tickets yet I might not go at all.

(Yes I'm drunk so what)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
by Bluegrass Sistah >> September 13, 2009 9:41 am

Wow, ScottyTude, you tied one on pretty hard last night, huh?

Yeah, I'm pissed off you guys. We pay their salaries and how many of the guys in this battle royale haven't even bothered to put up a promo or even talk to the fans? This is a BATTLE ROYALE, dammit; this should be one of the biggest shows of the night, but selfish bitches like Assman, Cuzin Zeke, and NAPW's own Bruce "The Suck" Richards are going to make it one of the worst. Build it up, dammit.

That being said? Matthew Kurtis. Just to stir up stuff with Massacre's Mom.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
by KittenPuncher >> September 13, 2009 11:52 am

LDK or The Show.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
by BeastRichards >> September 13, 2009 2:25 pm

Hey guys. Nice place you have here. You almost have as good a class of forum goon as NAPW-Online. Almost.

Tiff was good enough to point me in the direction of your forums. First of all, I'd like to say that I appreciate your enthusiasm. Any place where you have threatened banning within the first ten thread posts goes to show two things: you have people who are in love with the sport, and people who snap at the least provocation. Basically, your die-hard wrestling fans.

But I have to say, anyone selling this match short has a screw loose somewhere. You're going to have a ring full of over a dozen wrestlers, fighting for company bragging rights and individual pride. Anyone who doesn't want to see that doesn't like wrestling. Pure and simple.

And look at who I'm facing for a second. There, on one side, is a motly crew of delusional psychotics, confirmed sadists, and frontal-lobe-damaged head-cases.

And then you have the REBEL-Pro team.


Normally, fighting for the pride of the NAPW is the kind of thing I'd go nuts for. But look at who's representing my company! Lloyd Rees, former ally turned psychotic false "messiah". Steve Parker, former NAPW Canadian Heritage Champion and thorn in my (BLEEP) side for months now. Taboo, former mayor of crazytown and a ruthless son of a bitch. Those are the guys that I am going to have to try and work with to put NAPW over the REBEL-Pro talent.

Yeah. It's going to be NUTS.

Who else is there? The Kurtis brothers, two guys that I'm definately familiar with. Those guys have made their mark in this business, in both REBEL-Pro and the NAPW. The Carolinas Champion, Cuzin Zeke. The luchadore d'amore, El Rey. Nite Thyme, a team that sounds more like something you'd find on a spice rack than in a wrestling ring. Yeah, there's competition. But I'm always the kind of guy who rises to a challenge.

Now, there's no secret that I don't like a LOT of my NAPW teammates. And if any of them take a swing at me, they're going to have to duck quickly if they want to keep their head on their shoulders, because I will not hesitate to strike back. But I have no illusions: yes, this is a time for personal victory. But there is also company pride on the line. And even though there are people on the NAPW side who don't care about the company - and here I am looking directly at you, Mr. American Male - I will work with whomever is willing to fight for the NAPW. And when we've cleared the ring of REBEL-Pro members?

Well, then we'll see what we shall see.

So I defy you to watch this match and sit in your seat, arms crossed, sour expression on your face. Because the group of us are going to put on the best damn show of the night. You're going to be propelled to your feet. You're going to scream yourself hoarse. You're going to gasp in shock at the display of skill and violence. And, sorry to say my Carolina friends, but the NAPW is going to come out on top. In no small part to Bruce "The Beast" Richards.

Trust me.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
by Bluegrass Sistah >> September 13, 2009 4:19 pm

Wow. He's even long-winded when he's typing

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------