TUESDAY. NIGHT. FIGHTS.

01/16/2007

"Smooth" by Rob Thomas & Carlos Santana spills out of the arena sound system and the boos begin. From behind the curtain steps three men who shocked the wrestling world just seven days ago. The "Colossal" Kenny Krenshov (along with their managers Raul Havok and Eli Potts). The new NAPW Provincial Champion "The Devastator" Kurt Castle. The NAPW Pure Vegas Champion Chris Casino. The Untouchables are in the house. As they make their way to the ring the fans hurls insults and slurs at the trio (sans managers) who ignore them with a smirk. The camera pans over to a homemade sign from a fan that reads "Deathrow kills people 4 fun!"

The trio climb into the ring and Casino takes a microphone from the ring announcer. He looks out over the crowd and basks in their hatred.

CHRIS CASINO: Boo all you want you dirty Canadian monkeys, but what you see before you in this ring is the very future of New Alberta Pro Wrestling!

More boos. Casino doesn't care.

CASINO CASINO: We have come out here tonight to officially declare war on the mediocrity that is currently NAPW wrestling. We're sick and tired of seeing people like Bob Ravager...Simply Beautiful..."Sick" Billy Kryenik..."Superstar" Tommy Deathrow...The New & Improved D-X and others use backstage politics to try and hold us down. To keep us in the background while they hog the spotlight. It all ends tonight. Standing with me are two men who are the very future of this company. "The Colossal" Kenny Krenshov. A man who breaks bones as a hobby. "The Devastator" Kurt Castle who just last week broke the glass ceiling and won the NAPW Provincial Title. The three of us represent all that is good and right in this corrupt corporation.

CHRIS CASINO: The three of us, known now and forever as The Untouchables, will take this company into the promised land. We'll do this by exterminating the little back stage cliques that are currently strangling the life out of this company. Hell, we're your damn saviors! We already hold two championships. We already have people running for shelter from us. I can stand here and promise each and every one of you unwashed Canadian mooks that The Untouchables are not your average stable. There are no leaders here. We've banned together for a common goal. A goal of supremacy. We will break the strangle hold that the good ol' boys in the back have. We will control NAPW. It's not just idle talk, it's simple fact.

Casino smiles as the boos and chants of "(BLEEP)" rain down on him. Casino turns and hands off the microphone to the Provincial Champion Kurt Castle.

KURT CASTLE: Oh yeah you illiterate little (BLEEP)s. Go ahead and send your ignorant rain of boos down upon us. See, we don't give a (BLEEP) about what you people think. We know that we are the only reason you come out of your igloos once a week. Love us or hate us, you know we're the best damn thing going today.

Castle holds the Provincial belt up high with both hands as he looks around at the crowd. This infuriates them even further, to the point where objects are being thrown into the ring.

KURT CASTLE: You see, what we have going here is not some fly by night hair sceme idea that was concieved over night. This is something that has been in the works for a long time now. Believe it or not, the Casino man was the very person that pursuaded me to come to this vespool in first place. In the coming weeks, everyone out here along with everyone in the back will find out what our reasoning is. What our ultimate goal is. I'll let you all in on one thing now. It's not about title and championships, that's for sure. We've already proven that we can have any belt that we want. I know itÕs a scary feeling for the current "stars" of this company. They are starting to slowly feel their grip of power slip away, and replacing it are feeling of fear and anxiety. By ourselves, any one of the three of us could be the number one man in this company. But when you combine the only Grand Slam champion ever, the Casino man, our main enforcer to my right Kenny K, and the most devastating athlete to ever grace the rings of NAPW, we are simply UNTOUCHABLE!!

Kurt Castle hands the microphone over to the hulking Kenny Krenshov.

KRENSHOV: I'm not much for words, so I'll keep this short. The pendulum balance of power is swinging back in our direction, and we're going to keep it there. If there was ever a time for all of you in our way to put your tails between your legs and hide, it would be now. We're here to stay, and we're here to do what we do best--dominate.

Kenny hands the mic back to Casino, who grins broadly, ignoring the rising chants of "asshole, asshole."

CHRIS CASINO: And since what we do best is dominate, I want that chimp Patrick Kidd to come out here right now so I can retain my Pure Honor title... for I am the best pure wrestler not only in NAPW but the entire damn world. So get out here, Kidd! And get what's coming to you!

BOO. Huge heat. Cut to the TNF intro.

FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen! This match is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the Pure Honor Title! Already in the ring accompanied by his manager Raul Havok, and The Untouchables, is the champion. He weighs in at two-hundred and twenty pounds... from Las Vegas Nevada! CHRIS CASINOOOOO!

JACK JONES: And the bastion for pure wrestlers everywhere!

BILL HEWSON: You've got to be kidding me...

Time for the "Rebirth". Boy Hits Car is up as "The Outlaw" Patrick Kidd makes his way to ringside. He gets a respectable pop from the fans.

FRANK WARBURTON: And now, the challenger! From Patterson, New Jersey, weighing in at two-hundred and forty-eight pounds... He is "The Outlaw" Patrick Kidd!

Kidd suspiciously surveys the mass of humanity at ringside, but realizes that his only hope to win is to beat the man standing across the ring from him. Casino has a huge smirk on his face as he steps forward to offer a handshake. Kidd warily accepts, and referee John Sharplin calls for the bell. They lock up, and Kidd gets a headlock. Casino tries to push out of it, but Kidd is too strong. So Casino, using his vast Greco Roman knowledge, plants a stiff elbow right into Kidd's kidney. The fans boo, but as Casino points out, there was nothing illegal about it. Taking the advantage, Casino shoots Kidd into the ropes, and catches him on the rebound with a leg lariat. He goes for a quick cover, but Kidd easily kicks out. Casino hits a rising Kidd with a Shining Wizard, knocking Kidd back down. A cover, and a two count this time, but not enough to put "The Outlaw" away. Casino doesn't look flustered by this, and he locks on an arm bar. Using all his weight he tries to disable Kidd, but Kidd is too strong. He starts to fight out of it, when Raul Havok climbs on the apron to point out a non regulation turnbuckle cover. Sharplin yells at Havok to get off the apron, Havok insists that a rule is being violated, and Casino has slapped a choke hold on Kidd! The fans are starting to get annoyed now, and they let the ref know it. Sharplin turns around and... hey Casino has a nice legal sleeper hold on. Sharplin checks, and there's no choke, so the hold is allowed. After about thirty seconds, Sharplin lifts Kidd's arm, looking to see if the man's still conscious. It doesn't even drop once, as Kidd starts to power out of it. Kidd fights to his knees, Casino strains to keep the hold locked in, but Kidd makes it to his feet, lays some elbows into Casino's midsection, breaking the hold! Using the momentum, Kidd hits the ropes, but steps on Raul Havok's hand! It's not an attempt at a trip, but Havok yells out in pain, startling Kidd.

JACK JONES: That clumsy moron! I hope Havok is okay!

BILL HEWSON: But why would Havok stick his hand in where it could be stepped... oh come on!

As Kidd turns around to see who he stepped on, Casino dropkicks Kidd in the back of the head, then quickly reapplies the sleeper. Kidd realizes he has more than one opponent right now, and needs to end this quickly. He decides not to waste time fighting, and puts his foot on the bottom rope.

FRANK WARBURTON: Patrick Kidd has used his FIRST ROPE BREAK!

Casino doesn't seem happy to have to break the hold, but he does. Very slowly. A bit too slowly in fact. Sharplin warns him to let go, but Casino claims he can't hear over the fans booing. Sharplin starts a five count, Casino keeps insisting he can't hear what's being said, and Sharplin has enough.

FRANK WARBURTON: For ignoring the five count, Chris Casino has been penalized his FIRST ROPE BREAK!

Casino is furious, and he gets right in Sharplin's face, yelling, "You want illegal? I'll give you illegal!". Casino promptly punches Kidd in the jaw, then rams him sternum first into the turnbuckle. Casino rams him again, before hitting a gut buster. Kidd looks like he's been hurt. And Sharplin is not amused.

FRANK WARBURTON: For blatant illegal activity, Chris Casino has been penalized his SECOND ROPE BREAK!

BILL HEWSON: It's like Casino doesn't even care if he's disqualified!

JACK JONES: Titles don't change hands on a DQ!

BILL HEWSON: The Pure title does.

While we can't see the color drain from Jack Jones face, Raul Havok and Sharplin both remind Casino of this fact. Casino nods and assures the referee that he will play fair from here on out. He goes to pick Kidd off the mat, only to get a (legal) boot to the gut, and a STUN GUN! Casino is rocked hard, and Kidd goes for a cover! One... Two... Casino kicks out, startled. He gets up, swings at Kidd, misses, but gets nailed with a spine buster! Kidd covers again! One... Two... Casino kicks out, and tries to escape! Kidd grabs Casino by the leg, and drags him back, to his feet, and hits a fisherman's suplex! And the pin count! One... Two... Casino kicks out again! But this time he manages to roll out of the ring, and he seeks advice from his fellow Untouchables. Kidd, who seems to be fighting through some pain at this point, follows, and he drags Casino away, and tries to roll him back into the ring. Casino gets a death grip on the bottom rope, and refuses to let go. Kidd tries to pry Casino away, and Sharplin is beyond fed up at this point.

FRANK WARBURTON: Chris Casino has used his LAST ROPE BREAK!

Casino lets go and yells at Sharplin that he wasn't in a hold, so what was he breaking? Sharplin tries to explain this to a confused... wait, Casino is not confused at all. While Sharplin is distracted, Kurt Castle races over and clubs Kidd in the back of the head. The powerhouse then attempts to press slam Kidd, but Kidd gets a thumb to Castle's eye (hey, Castle isn't in the match, so Pure Honor doesn't apply to him) then hits a SWINGING NECK BREAKER ON THE FLOOR! The fans pop huge for that, but their joy is short lived, as the monster Krenshov nails Kidd with a running big boot. Sharplin is still occupied with Casino, and now Havok as well. Krenshov picks up Kidd and whips him chest first into the ring post, then splashes him. And once more. And again! The fans are on their feet now, and they're not happy. Krenshov attempts one more splash, but a fan has decided to jump on the monsters back! Krenshov flips the man over, and security is quick to get the foolish man out of the arena. Krenshov just smirks and hits the splash anyways, and Kidd crumples to the floor. Castle is back up, he drags Kidd up and press slams the man chest first across the guard rail. Kidd is down, and appears to be bleeding from the mouth. Sharplin finally gets away from Casino, and turns to see Kidd unconscious on the floor. Krenshov and Castle have hurried over to the other side of the ring, and have "Who Me?" looks on their faces. The fans have their own story as to what happened, but Sharplin knows that they are hardly unbiased. he has no choice but to start the twenty count, even though he looks disgusted to be doing it.

One. Two.

BILL HEWSON: This is a farce! Casino is going to win another match by count out!

Casino is soaking in the boos as he sits in the corner, allowing Sharplin to do his job. The beer cups are flying, the fans are booing, and yet another fan has managed to jump the barricade (man security sucks tonight) and he tries to get at Casino. Security finally catches this fan, but Casino does get a punch in (the price of jumping the ring barrier) before he's dragged off. Sharplin is up to fifteen now, and amazingly, Kidd is on his knees, as he pulls himself up using the ring railing. But as he takes a step towards the ring, he collapses, and Sharplin makes it to twenty, and calls for the bell.

FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of the bout, by count out, and still Pure Honor Champion... Chris Casino!

Massive fan negativity, as all kinds of objects are being hurled at the ring. Casino just looks smug as he orders Krenshov to roll Kidd in. Krenshov hauls Kidd up, then hits the TOTAL ECLIPSE! And now Casino is going to the top rope, and he looks to hit the Cash Out..

THE DOOMRIDERS HAVE SEEN ENOUGH! Kryenik and Deathrow hit the ring and the Untouchables scatter, laughing, as their work is already done. Medical personnel hit the ring to help Kidd as we fade to black.

JACK JONES: ... So I said "I done told you once you son of a bitch, I'm the best that's ever been!"

BILL HEWSON: And then?

JACK JONES: Well of course he wanted a rematch, but I found a way out of that! I said, "Sorry, grandpa's tired, and it's past your bedtime. You go to sleep and try to think about how you relied too much on your knight and didn't utilize your rook".

BILL HEWSON: Why does your daughter even ask you to babysit?

JACK JONES: Court order.

BILL HEWSON: Ah...

FRANK WARBURTON:The following match is schedualed for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by The Plague. Weighing in at Two-Hundred and Fourty-Five pounds, from Bell Island, Newfoundland..."The Lemondrop Kid" Lloyd Rees!

"Fighting 59" by Harry Hibbs hits the speakers and Lloyd Rees arrogently makes his way out from the back. The Plague right behind him, wearing his trademark smirk. They make their way to the ring quickly and The Plauge stays on the outside.

FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent, weighing in at One-Hundred and Seventy-Five pounds, from New York, New York...Patrick Bickle!!

"Ibi" Dreams Of Pavement" begins playing and the crowd pops as Patrick Bickle and Simply Beautiful make their way to the ring. They reach the ring and Patrick cautiously makes his way in, Simply Beautiful stays out.

The bell sounds and it's on! Lloyd Rees and Patrick Bickle tie up. Lloyd works it into a headlock, Patrick Bickle pushes him off and latches on a headlock of his own, Lloyd reverses into a hammerlock and clubs the back of Bickle's head with his forearm. Rees lets go of the hammerlock and slaps the back of Bickle's head, Bickle then turns around and nails Lloyd Rees with a hard right. Rees is momentarily dazed and Bickle hits him with a Single-Arm DDT. Bickle goes for the early cover. One! Tw-Kickout. Patrick takes Rees to his feet and whips him into a corner, Bickle then follows up with a running clothesline. Lloyd then staggers forward and Spinebust-NO! An elbow to the temple of Patrick Bickle stops anything he just had planned and Lloyd Rees follows up by...Slapping the taste right out of Patrick Bickle's mouth! Bickle staggers back from the slap and a running elbow takes him to the mat. Lloyd then begins to lay into him with stomps...He presses his foot against Patricks face and orders John Sharplin to count! One! Easy Kickout! Bickle takes advantage of Lloyds cockiness! Quick double-leg takedown...And the Inverted STF has just been locked on! Too bad Lloyd is in the middle of the ring! Lloyd begins to struggle, yelling in pain and trying his best to get out of the move... But Bickle has it locked in way too tight. Lloyd is going to tap...But The Plague jumps onto the apron! John Sharplin begins yeling and...Lloyd is tapping out! Too bad Sharplin can't see-Wait- Simply Beautiful just pulled the Plague off the apron and... Hard right and the Plague meets the floor! Simply Beautiful orders Sharplin to pay attention to whats going on in the ring and Simply Beautiful goes back to his corner...But in the ring it seems like Patrick Bickle let go of the move in order to go inform Sharplin... Lloyd Rees has gotten back to his feet and Patrick Bickle is still trying to tell Sharplin that "The Lemondrop Kid" has tapped...What a sucker Punch by Lloyd! Patrick Bickles head bobbles and he crashes onto the mat.

Lloyd then brings Bickle back to his feet and gives him an old fashioned Knife Edge Chop. Rees then grabs hold of Bickle and hits him with The East End Drop! A hard kick by Rees and... The Lance Cove Leglock is locked in! Bickle has nowhere to go and Lloyd is pulling back as far as humanly possible! Bickle can snap in half at any moment! But wait! Bickle pushes himself up and with one faithful leap...Grabs the bottom rope! Lloyd is outraged and lets the move go. He then grabs hold of Patricks head and puts his neck on the rope. He taunts the crowd and received multiple jeers. He then places his foot on Bickle's head and begins to CHOKE the life out of Patrick Bickle. John Sharplin sees the illegal move and begins his count. One! Two! Three! Four! Fiv- Lloyd breaks the choke. Lloyd quickly brings Patrick Bickle back to his feet and irish whips him into the ropes, Bickle rebounds and...He's tripped! Out of the ring he goes, and Lloyd Rees quickly makes it out of the ring. Patrick Bickle tries to regain his composure...Stomped by Rees. And John Sharplin begins to count... One! Two! Rees lays into him once again and the crowd will not stop booing. Lloyd backs up and spits on Patrick Bickle. John Sharplin's count has reached five when Lloyd brings him to his feet and Irish Whips him into the guard rail. Six! Lloyd grabs a handful of Bickle's hair and rolls him into the ring...The Plague has just entered from the opposite side! HJohn Sharplin continues to focus on Lloyd Rees and...Eight! -Back in the ring- Patrick Bickle is making his way to his feet, The Plague kicks him in the gut and nails THE BLACK DEATH II! Plague then rolls out of the ring as fast as possible. -Back on the outside- Nine! Lloyd slides into the ring and grabs Patrick Bickle, picking the dazed man up. DDT FROM THE GREEN! Lloyd hooks the leg and counts along, ONE! TWO! THREE!

FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of this match via pinfall..."The Lemondrop Kid" Lloyd Rees!

The Plauge rolls into the ring and the two are celebrating...Simply Beautiful has just climbed onto the apron! Springboard Elbow! Down goes Lloyd! The Plauge lands a few pot shots but Simply Beautiful isn't even fazed! He clocks The Plauge on the side of the head and Impact DDT! Simply Beautiful is calling for it! He jumps to the top turnbuckle, Its time for a New York Nightmare! But The Plauge gets rolled out of the ring by Lloyd Rees...Simply Beautiful jumps down and grabs a mic from ringside.

SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL: This is just crap, honestly, the two of you hold each other's dicks when you take a piss? I know Pat Bickle here wants a piece of you, but NEXT WEEK... you and me in the ring here Plague! If you got the sack, that is... it'll be a New York Nightmare for YOU, ya uptown strunz! Because... that's not just the best, not just the coolest, that's SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL!

BILL HEWSON: What a challenge by Simply Beautiful! And look at Plague and Rees, they look might damn pleased for two guys who double-teamed Bickle for an entire singles match. Something needs to be done about all the interference in this fed...I just don't think our esteemed commissioner is the man to do anything about it. When we come back, it will be Tommy Deathrow --- Kenny Krenshov --- Jersey Street Fight!

The crowd is silent after the last match, eager for their next match. Jack Jones and Bill Houston are reviewing some notes when Frank Warburton raises from his seat ringside and enters the ring. He brushes off his suit and turns on his trusty microphone.

FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is scheduled for one fall...

"YOU'RE SO VAIN!"

It's Lex Vain and he's rudely interrupting a match and Frank Warburton. Lex slides, no glides, into the ring and removes his Prada Sunglasses. Frank is quizzical and stares at Lex. Lex snatches Frank's mic from his hands and raises it to his beautiful mouth. The crowd is quickly behind the faithful Frank.

LEX VAIN: Now every-one might be wondering why I'm out here. I'm -

Lex pauses, the NAPW followers use this time to boo the heck out of Lex.

LEX VAIN: As I was saying...

The crowd dies a bit.

LEX VAIN: I'm out here for one very controversial reason. A match.

The crowd scoffs in unison.

LEX VAIN:SHUT UP! I can wrestle! I can wrestle better than your precious Bruno's or Nightmare's. And I'm gonna to prove it next week. In a match!

The NAPW fan's are quiet now, asking who?

LEX VAIN: And it's going to be against one of your precious heroes...

The crowd is antsy with anticipation, chanting "WHO LEX, WHO?"

LEX VAIN: Who you ask? You!

Lex points his finger directly at...

LEX VAIN: FRANK WARBURTON!

The crowd has now erupted in a frenzy of boos. Lex rolls out the ring while Frank looks in shock and awe! Lex puts his sunglasses back on and points his finger directly at Frank. In the confusion, the show cuts to commercial once again.

FRANK WARBURTON: This next match is your Jersey Streetfight! There are no DQ's and no countouts. The only way to win is either by pinfall or submission!

"We Fall, We Fall" by Dead Celebrity Status blasts through the arena sound system and the crowd goes nuts!

FRANK WARBURTON: Coming to the ring first, hailing from St. Paul Minnesota and weighing in at two-hundred and fifty-four pounds, this is "SUPERSTAR" Tommy Deathrow!!!

Tommy comes out from the back and what's that he has? It's a snow shovel! Tommy raises it high above his head as he power walks his way to the ring. "Attack" by 30 Seconds to Mars replaces Tommy's entrance music and the huge Kenny Krenshov emerges from the back with his manager Eli Potts.

FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent, hailing from Middletown, NJ and weighing in at...

Warburton doesn't have time to finish as Tommy Deathrow slides back out of the ring and charges up the entrance way towards "The Colossal" Kenny Krenshov!

BILL HEWSON: This isn't going to be pretty folks, it's a no holds barred match that involves two of NAPWS most volatile men.

Tommy takes a Babe Ruth like swing with his shovel at the head of Krenshov but the big man manages to duck out of the way! Deathrow spins around and Krenshov plants a boot to the face of the former Doomrider! Kenny wrestles away the shovel from Tommy and tosses it onto the floor before driving a vicious forearm into the face of "The Superstar!" Krenshov grabs Tommy by the hair and leads him down to ringside as Eli Potts pick sup the shovel and cheers his man on. At ringside Tommy puts on the breaks, drives a elbow into the ribs of Kenny that momentarily stops the big man. Another elbow to the ribs! And another! Krenshov has broken his grip on Tommy and that's all Deathrow needs! He jabs a thumbs into the eye of Kenny and then takes him by the arm only to Irish whip him into the steel ring steps! With Kenny laid out on the floor Tommy stalks Eli Potts who quickly drops the shovel and runs for the back. Tommy grabs his shovel and heads back to Kenny Krenshov who is now back to all fours. Tommy raises the shovel high above his head but takes a moment to long as Krenshov nails "The Superstar" with a low blow! Tommy drops the shovel and Kenny quickly gets to his feet so that he can drop Deathrow to the floor with a clothesline.

BILL HEWSON: Tommy needs to watch out for the surprising quickness of Krenshov.

JACK JONES: And he needs to wear a cup too!

While Tommy is struggling to get back to his feet Kenny pulls a chair out from under the ring and slams it hard against the back of his opponent! Tommy crumples to his knees and Krenshov cracks him again with the chair across the back! Kenny shows the dented chair to the camera before tossing it into the ring and pulls Tommy to his feet only so that he can roll him into the ring. Krenshov climbs after Tommy and the referee can finally ring the bell making this match official!

BILL HEWSON: Finally this match is official!

Inside the ring Tommy is pulled to his feet by Krenshov who is talking smack to Deathrow. Tommy knocks away Krenshovs hands and starts to lay into the big man with stiff right hands! Sweat flies off Krenshov as Tommy lays into him, a wild look in his eyes. Krenshov is backed up against the ropes and Tommy whips him off and nails a clothesline onto the huge monster of a man! Krenshov staggers but stays on his feet! Tommy comes off the ropes and clubs Kenny with another vicious clothesline! Krenshov is STILL on his feet, although he's on rubber legs. Tommy looks frustrated but again goes to the ropes and this time hits a shoulder block into the left knee of Krenshov! The big man drops to the mat and Tommy stands over him like a demented gladiator. Tommy rolls out of the ring, throws back the ring apron and pulls out a kendo stick! As Krenshov is getting back to his feet Tommy slips into the ring and slams the hard bamboo stick across his back! Kenny howls in pain and Tommy goes bat sh*t with the kendo stick smacking Krenshov anywhere he can until the stick actually breaks apart! Krenshov's back is a mass of welts and Tommy is dripping sweat from his crazed attacked. He gets ready for another shot but from nowhere Eli Potts slides into the ring and yanks the shattered remains of the kendo stick away from Deathrow!

BILL HEWSON: Damn the Potts sticking his nose into this match!

JACK JONES: He's protecting his investment!

Tommy tries to grabs the slippery manager but Potts is out of the ring before a hand can be laid on him. Deathrow turns his attention back to Kenny and walks into a clothesline! Wasting no time Kenny pulls Tommy back to his feet and whips him into the far corner charging in behind him with a body splash! The crowd groans as Deathrow is engulfed by the big man and Kenny wastes no time in grabbing an arm of Deathrow and pulling him out of the corner and into a short arm clothesline. Kenny walks over to the dented chair he tossed into the ring and lays it in the center of the ring. Tommy is getting back to his feet when Krenshov scoops him up and delivers a fallaway slam onto the chair! As Tommy lays in agony on the mat Kenny comes off the near ropes and drops all 360 lbs plus across the body of Deathrow! Kenny grabs a leg and the referee goes for the count, one, two, Tommy kicks out! The fans explode back to life as Kenny questions the referee about the count. As Krenshov is arguing with the referee Tommy rolls to the outside. Deathrow finds himself on the same side of the ring where he dropped his trusty snow shovel and grabs it. Kenny comes to Tommys side of the ring and leans out between the top and second rope to grab hold of his prey. Tommy spins around and clocks Kenny across the skull with the shovel!

BILL HEWSON: Oh my god! You could hear that shot all over this arena!

JACK JONES: I think Tommy just killed Kenny!

Kenny slumps across the second rope and takes another nasty shot from Tommys snow shovel! This blow sends Krenshov falling back into the ring and Tommy again raises his shovel above his head to the delight of fans! Tommy starts to climb into the ring when Chris Casino hops the guard rail and pulls Deathrow off of the ring mat! Tommy takes a swing with the shovel but Casino ducks out of the way and cracks "Superstar" with a stiff superkick! What's this? "The Devastator" Kurt Castle is running down to ringside! Both Casino and Castle are putting the boots to Tommy as the fans are booing and throwing trash at the men. Suddenly the fans explode as "Sick" Billy Kryenik runs out from the back and rushes to the aid of Tommy Deathrow! Casino rushes to intercept Billy but takes a clothesline! Billy attacks Castle like a wild man and the fans are on their feet caught up in the excitement! As Kryenik starts to get the best of Castle, Casino drives a knee into the back of "Sick" Billy and the momentum again switches. Again the crowd goes crazy but this time it's for "Big Bad" Brian Bruno who is rushing to ringside! He attacks Casino from behind and chaos has engulfed the ringside area!

BILL HEWSON: This has gotten way out of hand! We've got half the dressing room down here brawling at ringside!

JACK JONES: Fair warning, if they come our way I'm out of here!

While Castle, Kryenik, Bruno and Casino battle on the outside Tommy Deathrow rolls back into the ring where Krenshov is finally getting back to his feet. Kenny is shaking his head in an effort to clear the cobwebs and we see the shots from the shovel have busted him wide open. Tommy hits a chop block and the big man drops like a chopped down tree! Tommy grabs a handful of trunks as the referee counts, one, two, three!

BILL HEWSON: Tommy won it! Tommy got the pin over "Colossal" Kenny Krenshov!!

JACK JONES: He had the tights! He had the tights!

BILL HEWSON: It's no DQ!

Kenny rolls out of the ring and both Bruno and "Sick" Billy climb inside to flank "Superstar" Tommy Deathrow. As The Untouchables regroup on the outside "Sick" Billy grabs the microphone from Frank Warburton.

BILLY: Enough of this bull(BLEEP)! Hey Castle! You're here! I'm here! Canada Cup finals right here, right now!

The fans go crazy as The Untouchables look uncertain.

BILL HEWSON: I don't know what's going to happen but I do know that Tommy Deathrow has won this Jersey Streetfight! Don't you dare go anywhere!

Right back from commercial break, straight into action with "The Devastator" Kurt Castle pounding on "Sick" Billy Kryenik in the corner. The near three-hundred pound Provincial Champion hammering the hell out of his man, then he grabs an arm and sends Billy screaming across the ring into the turnbuckle sternum first, Bret Hart style. The Untouchables already sent Patrick Kidd to the hospital tonight with what looked like a bad chest injury, they might want to make it a pair after the result of the prior match. The Untouchables, Chris Casino and Kenny "The Colossal" Krenshov (Eli Potts is still at ringside, although Raul Havok is MIA), are watching intently from the floor on one side of the ring (Casino of course pissing off the fans at random intervals.) Doomrider Tommy Deathrow and "Big Bad" Brian Bruno on the other side of the ring to even the odds, but it's the two men in the ring that are fighting for the 2007 Canada Cup. Provincial Title not on the line, but Kryenik could easily take a title shot after this if he wins. Kryenik holding his chest as Castle pulls him up... and delivers a gourdbuster. Two count-only, but Castle wasn't expecting to put "Ill" Bill away that quickly. He smirks and hooks the man up for a suplex... holding him up there! Huge strength by the Provincial Champion before falling forward, dropping Billy gut-first across the top rope. That one hurt. Billy dangles as Castle takes issue with the referee on something, and the distraction is all Casino needs to leap over the top rope and drop a leg on the back of Billy's head, bringing him back down to the canvas the hard way. Casino rolls out as Bruno starts yelling at the ref to turn around... Castle hooks Billy up and into the ropes at speed, clothesline --- ducked! Billy rebounds once again, connecting with a flying forearm. He rocks Castle with a few more, backing the man into the ropes. Now it's his turn for an irish whip, HOT SALVATION - nope. Castle holds the ropes, then casually sidesteps the superkick, then grabs an off-balance Billy from behind with a half-nelson suplex. Boom. Cover there, one, two, Kryenik with a kick-out.

Kurt Castle still with the advantage, he wants to put this one away quickly if he can. He powers Billy into a corner and fires a few big fists before perching his man on the top turnbuckle. And now that's this? Castle pulls Billy out, so the man is horizontal to the ring... DDT! Top-rope DDT on Kryenik, that's gotta be all, one, two, th--- foot on the rope. Kryenik with that incredible ring-awareness, that's all that saved him from a loss after a brutal move. Castle holds up three fingers to the referee. That changes to one finger when the referee says "no it was two!" Kurt says that's it! He hauls a fairly dazed Kryenik up to his feet, gorilla press. Total Devastation coming up --- Kryenik with some life in him! Castle can't hold the wriggling wyrm up, Kryenik falls behind the man and hits a Lungblower backcracker! Desperation move by Kryenik, both men are down. Ref starts his ten count. Crowd is rallying behind Billy Kryenik, makin' the NOISE. Come on, feel the noise. 80's style. What? Shut up! Both men up at the ref's eight count, Castle the first one up. He hammers Billy and tries for the pump-handle slam, Kryenik won't let it happen however, and they get into a slugfest. Castle fires, Billy BLOCKS and returns! Castle fires, blocked, Kryenik fires, not blocked! Crowd getting hot! Kryenik with a BIG right hook that sends Castle staggering towards the corner. Chop to the chest stuns Castle, hard irish whip across the ring into the corner. Ill Bill climbs over the man and starts raining down punches, the crowd counting along. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine... ten! Kryenik hops down and circles quickly, lariat to Castle! Kryenik with a pick-up manages to get the bigger man on the top rope. He follows up and grabs Castle's head, then connects with his Hot Salvation super face-buster on the knee. Kryenik makes the cover after that! One! Two! Kick-out! Castle with a powerful kick-out, he's dazed but not done yet. Kryenik calls for Dry Lake, he hooks the arms--- here comes Casino into the ring! But here comes Bruno, he takes Casino down football tackle style! The referee yelling at both men to get out, and Krenshov gets in the ring DESTROYING Kryenik with a big lariat! Angry Man Lariat. Krenshov gets out of the ring, but the referee is still distracted, so Deathrow evens the odds with a low blow ---> DEATHROW DRIVER combination! Krenshov wanders over to pound on Bruno, Deathrow follows up, we've got a pier-six brawl on the outside.

Inside the ring, the referee turns around to see both men down again! He begins his count once more, neither man is moving. Count is five, the Canada Cup may end in a double knock-out! Wait! It's seven, we've got some life... eight... come on! Nine... Both men are up in the nick of time, the match continues. Castle and Kryenik, they've come through a lot to get here, and now it's looking like endgame after both men took some big hits there. Security trying to break up the brawl outside but, well, you know, Krenshov. Kryenik with the first move, he nails a superkick to Castle! ONE! TWO! NO KICK-OUT! Kryenik can't believe it, but he still gets up. Dry Lake coming up, double-underhook, Castle powers out with a back body drop. Seconds later, he has Kryenik hoisted up for the Tombstone... Kryenik reverses, trying a tombstone of his own! No, Castle reverses himself! Now he steps forward, if Total Devastation connects it's OVER. But wait! Kryenik wiggles his legs and slips out behind, sending Castle this time chest-first into the turnbuckle! "The Devastator" stumbles backwards, wind knocked out of him, and Kryenik is suddenly on the top rope?! He flies off with a Sunset flip! He catches Castle with super-speed off the top rope, it's a sunset-flip powerbomb Eddy G style! The back of Castle's head impacts off the canvas and it's one... two... THREE! THE FANS EXPLODE!

FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of the match AND 2007 CANADA CUP... "SICK" BILLLLY KRYENNNNNNNNIK!

BILL HEWSON: HE DID IT! KRYENIK DID IT, HE IS THE CANADA CUP WINNER ONE YEAR AFTER MAKING THE FINALS! WHAT A MATCH! UNBELIEVABLE!

JACK JONES: It is unbelievable! That was a fast count! He had the tights! Feet on the ropes! Oh referee, disqualify the man!

The referee raises Kryenik's arm up high, but Casino is in the ring bashing Kryenik down. Deathrow, Bruno and Krenshov all spill back into the ring and the brawl between these six-men continues ---

JACK JONES: Here comes the Commissioner! He'll restore some order!

Indeed, R. Joseph Winchell III has come out with a microphone, looking over the scene as a dozen security men try to keep six tough men apart from one another.

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: That's enough! I'm trying to run a wrestling show here! And instead, I get you three men trying to wreck every single match-up!

BILL HEWSON: Sounds like Joey is going to touch the Untouchables. About time he stood up for NAPW and not his ego.

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: ... I'm talking to you, Doomriders! And Brian Bruno! You three pieces of (BLEEP), especially you Deathrow! I've had it! You three ruined two fantastic matches tonight! The Untouchables have EVERY RIGHT to be at ringside for a member's matches but you three have to make asses of yourself! Well that's it, I've had it, especially with you two Doomrider jerks! From here on out, no more mister nice guy!

BILL HEWSON: ...I stand corrected. Oh yeah, because the Commissioner has been so unbiased towards Deathrow and Kryenik!

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: SECURITY! GET THEM NOW!

Security suddenly lets go of the Untouchables and swarm the Doomriders (And Bruno). Casino laughs as Kryenik and Deathrow are dogpiled. This doesn't look good..."OHHHHH....CANADAAAAAA!" Big Sugar's amped-up version of the Canadian National Anthem kicks in, cutting Winchell off. He looks around wild-eyed, teeth clenched in manic anger as he looks around... the crowd looks around too, confused...

"HO HO HO, OHHHH CANADA!"

A big man wearing a familiar red and white mask... bursts out of the front row and into the ring! He gets into the ring wielding a hockey stick! WHAM! Security clears out of the wild stick swinging! Casino gets a high-stick in the back of the head! Castle tripped up, he rolls out of the ring. Krenshov gets the hockey stick broken on his head... and then the Doomriders are up, and all four men manage to topple Kenny over the top rope. The Untouchables regroup in the aisle, Casino swearing audibly as the crowd goes BANANA.

BILL HEWSON: It's MR. CANADA!

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: YOU! YOU CAN'T BE HERE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? CALIBER! I KNOW THAT'S YOU!

Mr. Canada lifts up a microphone.

MR. CANADA: Oh ho, Joey Winchell! Rex Caliber was never the Whitehorse Wompa-weight Champion, no no, that's only MR. CANADA! Joey I'm back because a few of my good friends told me that you've been running NAPW into the ground, and because some anti-Canadian folks have been causing trouble. And when there's trouble, that means there WILL BE Mr. Canada to right wrongs and restore order, just like the venerable Royal Canadian Mounted Police!

And I saw exactly that! You don't know the meaning of fair play! Mr. Winchell you've lost sight of what's really important about this sport and promotion! Competition! Good Canadian athletes like Billy Kryenik, who this year won the Canada Cup won by that sexy Rex Caliber last year at this time! All that means, Mr. Canada can't stay away! And Mr. Canada will NOT stay away, not ever again, not while a super-villain like you is in charge oh ho ohhhhh Canada, oh mercy! You can't fire me, I'm not on your roster! And you can't keep me out because just like Canadians are world-wide, people welcome me with open arms! Hell you can't really do anythin' about me, but I guarantee you that me, MR. CANADA, will restore truth, justice and the Maple Leaf way to NAPW!

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: ...REX CALIBER, TAKE OFF THAT STUPID MASK! GET OUT OF MY FED! YOU'RE FIRED!

MR. CANADA: I've never worked for you, Mr. Winchell. As long as you are abusing your power and showering people with your tyranny, MR. CANADA WILL BE AROUND! And now, I want to congratulate the 2007 Canada Cup Winner... LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... SICK BILLLLLY KRYENNNNNIK!

Kryenik's music hits as Mr. Canada raises his arm. Bruno and Deathrow put Kryenik up on their shoulders, infuriating Winchell more. The Untouchables look disgusted, Krenshov with that wild-eyed look he's known for. Eli Potts is sure to stay between Kenny and the ring, trying to make sure his man leaves it alone... for now. Winchell's mouth is moving but no words are coming out, the re-appearance of Mr. Canada combined with two straight wins by his nemesis' the Doomriders has only further shattered his fragile psyche. What will happen next on the 100th show of TNF?! Stay tuned!

FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, it's now time for our MAIN EVENT of the evening, and it is for the NAPW CHAMPIONSHIP!

Four Cellos. "Path". And the ROAR of the fans as Ravager steps out from behind the curtain. You can see the ice flowing through his veins as walks down to the ring, ignoring the hands of the cheering fans. He's locked in, and ready to once again stand atop the heap as NAPW Champion.

Once he's in the ring, the music fades, and then we get a little classic R&B - signalling the champion, "Perfection" Evan Cartwright! Sam and Dave sing his way down to the ring, as flashbulbs go off and people boo their hearts out. His championship belt, strapped firmly around his waist, shines in the bright lights of the arena. Both men take a corner as Frank Warburton makes the introductions.

FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is scheduled for one fall to a finish, with a sixty minute time limit. Introducing first, from New York, New York, he is the former two-time Provincial Champion, and the former NAPW Champion. He's the SILENT ASSASIN, THIS....IS....RAAAAAAVVAAAGEEERRRRR!

The fans explode, and Ravager just stares daggers into Cartwright, who doesn't even flinch.

FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent, from Cairo, Illinois, weighing in at just under two hundred twenty-five pounds, he is a member of the Triple Crown club, and is the reigning NAPW HEAVYWEIGHT WRESTLING CHAMPION! HE IS "PERFECTION" EVAAAAAAAAANNNN CAAAARRRTWRIIIIIGHTTT!

Senior referee John Sharplin holds the title up, then hands it to the timekeeper before calling for the bell! We're underway! Evan walks right up to Ravager, and they exchange words. SLAP! Evan with a brutal open-hand slap, no doubt injuring Ravager's ego more then his body. A hush goes over the crowd, but Rvager just rubs his mouth and smiles. AND THEN ATTACKS! CHOP! WOO! My GOD, what a brutal chop to the chest! AND ANOTHER! And now the fists are flying, screw technical wrestling! Ravager is belting him into the corner, and then whips him across to the other - here he comes after him - CLOTHESLINE! Evan stumbles out, dazed, and gets his bearings - in time for Ravager to kick him in the gut and connect with a snap suplex. Immediately he goes for a chinlock, and places his knee in the champion's back, trying to grind him out. He pulls back on it for a bit, but then breaks it and connects with a crossface eblow. As Cartwright crawls to his knees, Ravager hits a S.T.I.F.F kick to the chest, and the fans ooh and aaah. But Evan comes right back with a stiff chop of his own, and then swings with a Perfect Uppercut! Ravager has it scouted, he ducks out of the way! But he can't avoid the boot to the stomach, DDT drops him on the mat, putting Evan in control. He applies a rear hammerlock, and slowly pulls the Silent Assassin to his feet. He slides his leg out in front, and grinds his face into the mat with a front Russian Leg Sweep.

Evan wastes no time, and picks Ravager up yet again, this time hitting a scoop slam - wait, he drops to one knee, it was a modified back breaker instead! Nice move from the champ! Ravager is back on his feet, holding his back, but Evan gives him absolutely no room and whips him into the corner. He takes some time, perhaps too much, and sizes up the challenger before charging full steam ahead! DROP TOEHOLD FROM RAVAGER, and that leaves Cartwright in the wrong part of town, head down on the bottom turnbuck - SILENCER! The crowd goes crazy, the champion nearly had his head kicked right off! He quickly rolls out of the ring, trying to get a breath of fresh air, all the while holding his head in pain. Ravager tries to follow him out, but Sharplin stops him. He wants them to keep this one in the ring, apparently. Cartwright regains his bearings, and rolls back in. Ravager moves in on him, and the two get caught up in a greco-roman knuckle lock. Evan pushes on him...pushes, trying to get Ravager down on a knee..but Ravager pushes back and now forces Cartwright down! Cartwright recovers, and connects with a Perfect Japanese arm drag, the self-proclaimed master of the move. He quickly locks in an armbar, but Ravager forces him to break it by using his leverage to put Evan in a pinning predicament. The two roll away, and Evan tries to catch him with a clothesline - ducked, Ravager off the ropes - FLYING FIST, ala AJ STYLES! Ravager with the cover, we could have a new champion! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT!

BILL HEWSON: Near, near fall there! Ravager so desperately wants to be a two-time champion --- he's more focused right now than we have perhaps ever seen him in an NAPW ring. It's almost look he shook loose a shadow from him over the fall...

JACK JONES: Yeah, a one letter shadow. But he's still Ravager! He's still not perfect, and against "Perfection" 'less than' is not good enough!

Cartwright gets back to his feet, and shakes out the cobwebs. Ravager is waiting, and hits a basement drop kick on the champ. A quick scoop up, and Ravager sends him into the corner! Could it be Muscle Buster time? He's got Evan locked up! HERE IT COMES! EVAN SLIDES OUT, and rolls him up! ONE! TWO! NO! So close, Cartwright almost stole this one. Ravager quickly turns around, only to be hit with a forearm smash, and sent into the ropes. Evan SPRINGBOARDS, and flies through the air with a moonsault, ending up on top of Ravager. He pulls back on his legs, and covers! ONE, TWO, NOT THREE! Ravager lies prone on the mat, and Cartwright gets up first - possum pin! ONE, TWO, CARTWRIGHT ROLLS OVER! ONE, TWO, RAVAGER ROLLS BACK! ONE, TWO - EVAN GRABS THE ROPES, and THEN ROLLS OVER, trying to use the ropes for leverage! One, two, not three! Sharplin saw it, and breaks it up. Cartwright doesn't seem to mind, he didn't NEED to cheat, he just felt like it. The competitors end up back on even ground, and tie up in the center of the ring - go behind by Ravager, who tries for a German suplex. Cartwright flips over him, and spins Ravager around, attemping a fireman's carry before Ravager quickly slips off and shoves Cartwright into the corner, following with a bulldog and a pin! He gets barely two, and both men are back up in a flash. Ravager open hand slaps Cartwright, and Cartwright fires his own right back, knocking him off balance before dropping him with a swinging neckbreaker. He rolls Ravager over, and picks him up on wheelbarrow suplex position! CARTWHEEL ATTEMPT! Ravager rolls forward, and sends Cartwright a few feet ahead as well, eefectively escaping the move. The champion quickly gets to his feet, and gets a SPEAR for his troubles! Ravager rolls over on his back, he's fairly exhausted. The fans are on their feet, they want to see Ravager roll over and pin him. But their cheers are wiped away by boos when Chris Casino struts down to the ring, his shiny, ugly as sin Pure Vegas Honor Title over his shoulder. He has NO business here, what's he doing? Casino sets up a chair on the outside now, but it looks like he's just watching as he sits down on it.

BILL HEWSON: I think we've seen quite enough of Mr. Casino tonight, thank you very much. What's he doing out here?

JACK JONES: He's watching an old friend and partner beat a man who has run from him for a year, that's all.

BILL HEWSON: Chris Casino and Evan Cartwright of course former Tag team champions, friends from way back, but recently there has been a lot of tension between the two men. I don't think Casino LIKES Cartwright stepping out of his shadow to become the MAN here in NAPW, Jones.

JACK JONES: Well Chris Casino is a proud man, and as the Pure champion, he can lay claim to being the best technical wrestler in NAPW. It's just friendly banter though, there's no bad blood between these two men.

BILL HEWSON: Hopefully he keeps his nose out of ONE match tonight... Ravager with a tie-up! These men can't keep this pace up for much longer!

Back in the ring, both men are on their feet. Ravager ties him up, and then locks in a side headlock before Evan pushes him into the ropes. Cartwright dives down, and Ravager jumps over him. Evan gets up like a dart and rushes Ravager, jumping up in the air before getting SPINEBUSTERED! WHAT A COUNTER, cover by Ravager! ONE....TWWOOO!.....THRE - KICK OUT! Damn it, we were thisclose! What's Ravager gonna have to do? Irish Whip to the corner, and Ravager gets all over him with kicks to the gut. Evan fights back and thumb to the eye! Ref didn't see it, but Cartwright doesn't care! He slides behind Ravager! WHEELBARROW SUPLEX! And the goes right for the Boston Crab, trying to finish out the Cartwheel! IT'S LOCKED IN, IT'S LOCKED IN! WILL HE TAP? Casino jumps up and gets right in Ravager's face, and he's screaming bloody murder at him! That gives Ravager the STRENGTH to reach out... and GRAB THE ROPES! The ref forces a break as Ravager holds on. WAIT A MINUTE! CASINO! THE PURE VEGAS TITLE BELT SMASHED INTO RAVAGER'S FACE! The referee was forcibly trying to restrain Cartwright off of Ravager, he never saw it! But Evan did, and he's pissed!

But he's also the champion, and he's not about to let a gift horse in the mouth. Evan squats down, waiting as Ravager slowly gets to his feet. And then: TOASTYYYYYYY. The Perfect Uppercut connects, sending Ravager down the hard way. He may be out, and Cartwright is quick to hook both legs for ONE, TWO, THREE.

FRANK WARBURTON: Your winner... and STILL NAPW CHAMPION... EVAN CARTWRIGHT!

BILL HEWSON: NO! Dammit, Chris Casino screwed another fantastic match! And... you can't blame Evan Cartwright for taking the opportunity, but this crowd is NOT happy with the way that went down!

JACK JONES: What's their problem? EVAN didn't cheat, Casino did!

BILL HEWSON: I don't think Evan's any happier about it than these fans or Ravager, and he WON the damn match!

Casino is out of there, the crowd booing. Ravager is slow to get up, the ref checking on him. Red blood trickles from Ravager's forehead. But wait. Evan Cartwright has the microphone.

EVAN CARTWRIGHT: Ravager... you son of a bitch, I'm not saying this for any of these Edmonton fans, but that was one hell of a match! You took me to the limit here tonight! And hell, I would be willing to say you could be NAPW Champion, if I wasn't already the man...

Ravager is up as the crowd boos, but quiets down. Ravager is scary furious. He doesn't look furious, but his jaw is clenched so tightly... eyes so cold... Evan holds his hands up in peace, shifting the NAPW title belt on his shoulder.

EVAN CARTWRIGHT: Hear me out Ravager... That piece of (BLEEP) Chris Casino can (BLEEP) around with his buddies all he wants, but he can stay the hell out of my business. He ruined what could have been the "perfect" title match. And because of that... I think YOU... deserve a rematch.

BILL HEWSON: Evan Cartwright offering a rematch to Ravager! The crowd aren't his fans, but that's an honorable motion by Cartwright!

JACK JONES: What is he doing? Bob doesn't deserve another rematch! He lost! I mean ---

BILL HEWSON: He lost because of Chris Casino, Jack Jones! It was bull(BLEEP) and you know it!

JACK JONES: HEWSON!

In the ring, Ravager looks suspicious. Evan Cartwright holds out his hand, saying come on, legit. One more time. Ravager hesitates... then grabs the microphone out of Cartwright's hand. He's NOT going to take the title rematch?

RAVAGER: One more time, huh? You and me... You know I actually miscalculated. Chris Casino has avoided me like, heh, the plague for the past year. I actually did not expect him to be out here, not even for you... he wants that belt on your shoulder.

Evan grins, saying "That bastard ain't getting near it."

RAVAGER: But so do I. One more match, Ravager vs Evan Cartwright? NAPW Title on the line... FEBRUARY SIXTH at COLD SNAP. You want it... You got it. "Champ."

Ravager throws the microphone down and roughly shakes Cartwright's hand. The two men lock eyes for a moment, then Ravager leaves the ring as the crowd is abuzz with the announcement.

BILL HEWSON: Ravager/Cartwright III at COLD SNAP! Unbelievable! What a rematch that will be, and hopefully Chris Casino keeps his "pure" nose out of it! We have to take our last commercial break, but when we return: The two out of three falls match for the tag team titles!

Back to the show. Bill Hewson & Jack "Attack" Jones have been joined at commentary by none other than NAPW Owner/Commissioner R. Joseph Winchell III. Winchell looks pale, disturbed, kinda crazed...

BILL HEWSON: We are joined now by Mr. Winchell. Has NAPW's 100th show been everything you uh, hoped for?

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: Everything I've... are you stupid HEWSON?! Kryenik won the Cup! Deathrow is still alive! And that... that... "MR. CANADA" returns! Who does Rex Caliber think he's fooling?! ME?! ME?!

BILL HEWSON: Well, I don't know about Rex Caliber, I didn't see him here tonight.

JACK JONES: Hewson you blind ---

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: ... OF COURSE HE WAS HERE! REX CALIBER IS MR. CANADA! How can you not tell? He has the same moves as Rex Caliber! He has a big moustache, dark skin, and a tattoo that reads "NEXUS ONE" across his stomach!

BILL HEWSON: I'll grant you that it's an awfully big coincidence, but you still have no proof.

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: ... You're lucky I don't fire you. The only thing that can save this night is in just a few minutes when the BEST tag team of 2007, the Midnight Cowboys, defeat D-X... and then those two losers never get a tag title shot again!

BILL HEWSON: The Cowboys? What's your problem with them?

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: NO! NOT THE COWBOYS! D-X! THEY'RE LOSERS! TONIGHT THEY'RE GOING TO BE LOSERS OR MY NAME ISN'T JOEY MALONE...

Silence.

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: I MEAN ROBERT JOSEPH WINCHELL THE THIRD! WHERE'S WARBURTON? WHY AM I YELLING? AAAAAARGH! ... Mr. Canada... grrrrr.

FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for the best two out of three falls... and is for the NAPW TAG TEAM TITLES!

"Bang Bang To The Rock 'N' Roll" fires up, and to a round of boos come The Midnight Cowboys. Clint Zellor first, the big black man with the afro and big boot to fear. Stone Zellor next, white soul bro lookin' cocky with some bad ass mutton chops. And then behind them, the father of two brothers from other mothers, Papa Z in a 70's-tastic gold leisure suit. He is as usual brandishing a picket sign, this one saying "New Tag Champz."

FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing the challengers! Being accompanied to the ring by Papa Z... at a total combined weight of four-hundred and forty-four pounds... Clint Zellor and Stone Zellor... the MIDNIIIIIIIIIIIGHT COWWWWWWWBOYS!

BILL HEWSON: This Calgary crowd aren't fans of the Midnight Cowboys, no sir.

JACK JONES: Are you kidding? How can you NOT be a fan of Papa Z's suit? Calgarians, so uncultured.

The Cowboys get into the ring, motioning the "belt" sign around their waists. Stone jaws with some fans at ringside, smirking. "Hey, I got skillz bitch! You got nothin'!". Papa Z slaps his boys each on the back, and the Cowboys prepare for the champions.

FRANK WARBURTON: And now...

Foo Fighters kick in, and the place erupts. Stylin' Kyle --- The Beast --- the manager Bill Fleming. They are...

FRANK WARBURTON: Being led to the ring by the manager Bill Fleming... at a total combined weight of two-hundred and fifty-seven pounds... Stylin' Kyle Roberts! Bruce "The Beast" Richards! The reigning FIVE-TIME NAPW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... THE NEW & IMPROOOOOOOVED DEE! EXX!

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: And never, EVER to be six-time champions! I've had it with D-X! Had it with their "best tag team ever" crap! They're nothing, you hear me? Nothing without me! And Warburton doesn't need to announce them with such gusto, I am officially making LEX VAIN vs FRANK WARBURTON FOR NEXT WEEK!

BILL HEWSON: What is your problem with D-X in the first place? They didn't bow and kowtow to you when you took over the fed? Like em or not, they've earned every title reign they've had, they've been recognized over the entire wrestling WORLD as the best tag team of 2006, and still you won't leave this alone. What is it Joseph, what is with your vendetta?

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: My vendetta? Those two men in the ring are everything that is wrong with professional wrestling today! Well next to Mr. Canada, that masked freak! They treated me like trash and they think they're so damn special with those tag belts. Well they'll rue the day they kicked Joey Malone to the curb!

JACK JONES: Way to use "rue" in a sentence, sir!

BILL HEWSON: Sycophant. And Frank's not even a wrestler! This may be dangerous for me to speak, but I think you're losing touch with reality here, Joseph!

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: Oh do you then? Well listen up Bill, I'm the boss! And you can call me MR. WINCHELL from now on, only my friends call me Joseph!

JACK JONES: Yeah, Bill, you can't talk to Joseph like that!

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: Shut up you sycophant!

A lot of bad blood between these two teams, but this is yet the first time D-X and the Midnight Cowboys meet in an actual match. It's going to be Stylin' Kyle Roberts starting off with Stone Zellor. A little trash-talk going on here... oh, this is probably not suitable for family audiences SLAP. Stylin' Kyle slaps Stone Zellor smack in the face. Stone steps back, head cocked PIMPSLAP BITCH. Well. That was... definitive. Kyle drops to a knee, holding his cheek as the crowd can't help but chant "YOU GOT BITCH-SLAPPED, CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP!" Kyle looks at the crowd, scowling, before locking-up with Stone. Stone slips out of the headlock and dropkicks Kyle in the back, sending him to the ropes, then rolling him up one, two, Kyle kicks out. Stone Zellor with a little shrugama shoulders, grinning. First pinfall attempt goes to the Cowboys. Kyle, frustrated, again locks up with Stone, this time powering him to the corner. Referee Dick Kiebiech calls a break, Kyle gives him a clean one... wait, no he doesn't. Kyle kicking away at Stone Zellor, holy crap! He's holding the top rope and just kicking the hell out of Stone Zellor. He's stomping the proverbial mudhole and walking it dry! Kyle roars, spinning around, yelling "I GOT SKILLS..." mockingly... FACEWASH with his boot! "BITCH!" Crowd goes apple, alright, at that one. Methinks Kyle's a bit pissed off about the way the Cowboys have been getting involved in so many tag team title matches, but it's gotten them this far. Kyle kicks, kicks, and he's been watching his ROH tapes, because he swipes Samoa Joe's running facewash to chants of "JOE JOE JOE!" Kyle taps his head, wild grin on his face, saying "SMARTER THAN YOU!" and pointing to Stone before tagging in The Beast.

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: Not only did they steal their tag name and Chris Jericho's moveset, now Stylin' Kyle is stealing the best indie workers on the planet! Somebody oughta sue!

BILL HEWSON: No denying that Kyle Roberts utilizing a move made famous by Samoa Joe, but right now it's vintage BEAST in the ring. And lightweight Stone Zellor is in a world of trouble!

He is indeed, as The Beast outweighs him by a good one-hundred pounds. The Beast sends Stone to the ropes at SPEED and hits a huge snap powerslam, Beast is up, and here comes some high-flyin' roughneck! Bruce hits the ropes and nails a running senton splash for a two count. Stone got squashed there, and now The Beast with a stalling suplex for one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine BOOM. Down at ten. The Beast pulls Stone back to the D-X corner, classic tag team strategy by D-X cutting the ring off, not allowing Stone near his partner Clint for a tag. It's what brought them to the dance. Tag in Kyle, D-X send Stone to the ropes. Stone makes a blind tag to Clint, but gets run over by a D-X double clothesline... here comes Clint! Clotheslining both members of D-X! That knocks Kyle down, but Beast is still up. Clint drives his shoulder into The Beast's gut and then picks the man up to the top rope. Stylin' Kyle is the legal man however, and he clubs Clint in the back. Roberts with a back suplex... he's feeding Clint to The Beast! OH NOES! IT'S... IT'S... THE SUPERPOWERBOMB! GOOD GOD WHAT IMPACT! D-X using their old foes finishers now, Stiff Competition called that the Durty Way Bomb. D-X have seen them all and beat them all, and they're sending a message to the Cowboys as Kyle covers for ONE, TWO, Th--- Stone makes a save, Clint shaken up by that huge superbomb. Stone forearms Kyle into the ropes, irish whip, reversed, Kyle catches Stone Zellor with a lightning-quick tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! He beales Stone over the top rope, and then catches a rising Clint with the POLAR-IZER! Wait a second, THE BEAST is on the top! MOONSAULT! D-X has gotten Down & Dirty for ONE, TWO, THREE!

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: WHAT? THAT CAN'T BE! HOW DARE THEY!

JACK JONES: I agree!

BILL HEWSON: You would. D-X has scored the first fall in this best of three falls match-up, in definitive fashion with the Down & Dirty! And that is the first time a member of Midnight Cowboys has been pinned since they joined NAPW, their only loss coming via DQ to the Celtic Assassins! D-X has the advantage now, Midnight Cowboys have got to bear down if they want to come back.

In the ring the action has not stopped! Stylin' Kyle and The Beast have Clint up to his feet, Papa Z on the outside waving his sign frantically in an effort to rally his elder boy. D-X send Clint to the ropes --- and Stone grabs his bro by the legs, pulling him out of the ring. The crowd gives a round of huge applause to D-X as the Midnight Cowboys reconvene at the top of the aisle with Papa Z. Clint with his hands on his hips, audibly cursing. This ain't the way they planned. Hold on, watch the champions! Kyle Roberts irish whips The Beast to the ropes, then sidesteps out of the way as The Beast goes OVER THE TOP ROPE! DEADMANOUTTACONTROLPLANCHA! THE BEAST WIPES OUT THE COWBOYS (w/Papa Z!). Crowd loves that one, and here comes Stylin' Kyle to pick up the pieces. He rolls Clint into the ring. Up onto his shoulders, Moose Jaw Driver comin' up, fall two may be right behind! Wait a minute, Clint falls off behind Kyle, Kyle turns around... TWIRL-E-GO-ROUND! Clint can't capitalize but he just nailed Kyle! WATCH OUT FOR STONE! Stone Zellor is on the top rope... SHOOTING STAR SENTON SPLASH! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! UNBELIEVABLE! The Beast comes into the ring and clobbers a dancing Stone, but when he turns around it's a YAKUZA KICK right into his face by Clint. Gorilla Monsoon would say that LITERALLY took Beast's head off. Figuratively of course. The Midnight Cowboys may have changed the momentum of the match-up. Bruce Richards rolls out to his corner, Bill Fleming clapping him on the back encouragingly. Stone takes his corner and it's Clint with Kyle in the ring. Clint seizes a hammerlock and tags in Stone, who lifts his knee into Kyle's gut. Stone rebounds off the ropes then, to catch Kyle with a lariat as he stands up. Shuck, jive, pendulum elbow drop right to Kyle's heart! Cover gets a two count. Stone Zellor pulls his man up and irish whips him to the corner, Kyle reverses. Stone with a headstand in the corner as Kyle charges... then he catches the Stylin' One with a mule kick to the chest! Kyle stumbles, Stone goes up top and turns around. MISSILE DROPKICK, that's pretty as a picture, and now the tag in to Clint Zellor! Clint with a big backbreaker on Kyle, holding him in place for Stone to come off the second rope with a legdrop! Demolition Decapitation! Cover gets one, two, The Beast makes a save. Stone takes exception to that and gets in Beast's face, enraging the power D-X member! He swings at Stone, who ducks and goes behind before punting Beast in the balls! Oh good God, Tiffany Macintyre is not going to be pleased with that. Beast turns around right into a SPEAR by Clint that sends the man out of the ring! Clint grabs Kyle Roberts, holding him up for a spinebuster as Stone leaps from the middle turnbuckle! That IS the STATEN SPECIAL, there is NO DOUBT ABOUT IT! Clint covers, The Beast is down and out from that spear. ONE! TWO! THREE!

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: HAHAHAHA! Just one more fall and D-X is done for! Then Mr. Canada needs to be eliminated... MR. CANADA MUST BE ELIMINATED!

BILL HEWSON: Easy there, uh, Mr. Winchell. The Midnight Cowboys have tied this match up, and they're not letting up! They've got The Beast outside --- no, into the steel steps! Good Lord!

JACK JONES: You're looking at the next best tag team champions in the world, Bill Hewson! I taught Stone his skillz, you know.

BILL HEWSON: I'm sure you did, but now it's a two-on-one in the ring with the Cowboys and Stylin' Kyle Roberts, The Beast is out and perhaps injured on the outside!

And indeed, Clint & Stone with a double flapjack that sees Kyle land face-first on the canvas. Clint tags in Stone, who comes in and drops a leg across Kyle's throat. One, two, kick-out by Roberts. Stone hauls the man up and hits his discus clothesline! Tag in Clint! The big man is going to the top rope?! He can't... he does! The second Kyle gets up and turns around, Clint flies off with a MASSIVE FLYING SHOULDERTACKLE! COVER! ONE! TWO! TH---NOOOO! Kyle with a desperate kick-out. Clint pulls the man up and hoists him over his shoulders, it looks like a British Bulldog style running powerslam! CHARGE --- Kyle slips out over the shoulders and lands behind Clint! He hits the ropes, low bridge by Stone and Kyle flies backwards to the floor the hard way. Stone off the ring apron with a spinning kick! He tosses Kyle back in, and Clint this time catches Kyle with a big Samoan Drop! ONE! TWO! THR---THE BEAST MAKES THE SAVE! He's back in this thing, and now he's just wearing out Clint with right hands on the canvas. Bruce Richards is MAD. Here comes Stone at a charge, The Beast sees him coming and next thing you know --- Stone Zellor is up in the torture rack! And The Beast SPINS! Clint stands up, Beast spins Stone's feet right into Clint's face! Finally The Beast lets Stone down... Stone dizzy on his feet after being spun around... and The Beast catches him with THE CLAW! He's taking Stone down like crazy on the side of the ring. Clint tries to save, but he gets bulldogged to the canvas by Kyle. And that means, oh yes. LIONSAULT! ONE! TWO! TH--- Clint kicks out! That was a close call there, and now Kyle... he's calling for it! Emerald Fusion time, and that would end it! Kyle pulls Clint up, here we go --- Clint fights out. Clint the big man, what's going on here? He sends Kyle into the corner... now picks him up! Clint trying for a superplex! Here comes Bruce, he gets underneath Clint! Wait a minute! STONE is climbing over his brother and Kyle, he sunset flips Bruce from the top, which sends Bruce down taking both Clint and Kyle with him! TOWER O' DOOM SUPERPLEX! Everybody's down (no kidding!)! Four men laid out, both managers attempting to rally their men! Cowboys slowly up... D-X slowly up... And we're looking at a pier-six brawl! Stone and Kyle trading shots, Clint and Bruce trading shots! It's bustin' loose in Tulsa, er, Edmonton! The match breaks down as Kyle and Stone tumble to the outside, leaving the power members of each team. Clint with a lariat that rocks Bruce but doesn't take him down... Bruce with a lariat that rocks Clint but doesn't take him down! They both hit the ropes this time and BOOM, double clothesline in the middle of the ring! That rocked the building, for goodness' sake. They're both down, but here comes Stone to stomp away on The Beast. SLAMMY TIME COMING UP --- KYLE IN THE RING! LOW BLOW! DING.

JACK JONES: BALLS OF STEEL, BABY!

Kyle's face a mask of pain as he gingerly holds his arm. Stone Zellor completely unfazed by Kyle's lowblow attempt! Stone turns around PIMP SLAP on Roberts. He turns around --- THE BEAST! CHART ATTACK! CHART ATTACK! That wipes out Stone, Beast throws Kyle over the man but the referee quick to remind them that Stone is NOT the legal man! It's Clint! Beast swears and picks up Clint, CHART ATTACK #2! Kyle covers! ONE! TWO! TH--- NO! CLINT WITH HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES! Kyle groans, he can't believe it! That should have been all right there, but Clint with the presence of mind and perhaps an assist from Papa Z got his foot on the ropes. Kyle with a LIONSAULT #2--- Knees up! Clint got the knees up! Kyle bounces off and outside the ring! Bruce picks up Clint again, D-X can't seem to put the Cowboys away, but a third Chart Attack should finish --- Clint clubs Beast instead! The Beast sent to the turnbuckle, he stumbles out into the SPEAR SPEAR SPEAR --- THE REFEREE CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE! That wasn't a light tap, Kiebiech ate the entire BULK of the spear! Bruce caught a little, and now Clint with a back suplex on The Beast... Stone slips in to add the neckbreaker! BAM! Beast down to the canvas, and that's gotta be all for The Beast!

BILL HEWSON: The referee is down, but the Cowboys have just wiped out The Beast! Kyle Roberts is the legal man --- and ---

JACK JONES: He's assaulting Papa Z!

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: CHARLATAN! BLASPHEMER! KYLE ROBERTS IS THE ANTI-CHRIST!

Kyle Roberts is fighting with Papa Z over the picket sign... he slugs Papa Z! What the hell is wrong with Kyle Roberts? Stone and Clint come over --- Kyle blasts Stone in the head with the picket sign! CLANG. There is clearly some metal sheet in the middle! Stone falls over the top rope into a heap with his dad as Kyle slides into the ring. Clint charges with a lariat, but Kyle ducks and CLANG. The sign breaks, a metal plate clearly falling out from between the posterboard! Kyle then... PILEDRIVER on top of the metal plate on Clint! Holy shit! Kyle covers, it's ONE! TWO! THREE!

FRANK WARBURTON: The winners of the match and STILL NAPW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... The New & Improved D-X!

BILL HEWSON: D-X have retained their titles! Like 'em or hate 'em, they somehow got past the Midnight Cowboys despite being exhausted from tag title matches over the past two weeks, and ---

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: YOU SHUT UP HEWSON, YOU SHUT UP! THAT WAS APPALLING! THEY CHEATED! KYLE ROBERTS IS THE SON OF THE DEVIL! DAMIEN! DAMIEN!

BILL HEWSON: Have you lost your mind, Winchell? What are you --- Joseph Winchell just left the announce booth!

Kyle and The Beast are up, holding the tag titles as the Cowboys recoup on the outside. Winchell meanwhile has shoved Warburton on his ass, grabbing the house microphone, cutting "Low" off.

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: ENOUGH! ENOUGH! CUT THE MUSIC! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU D-X! I'VE HAD WITH THE BOTH OF YOU! That should have been a disqualification! Are you BLIND Kiebiech? You're on thin ice, but YOU! YOU TWO! THE MIDNIGHT COWBOYS BEAT YOU... and when you realized it, you had to resort to assaulting an innocent old man on the outside of the ring and weaponry!

The Beast looks quizzically at Kyle, who grins and pantomimes whacking somebody with an object.

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: I said that you would defend your title belts into you lost them, but clearly you'll do anything to keep those belts! This match should have been JEFF JAMES & DIO MUERTE vs MIDNIGHT COWBOYS for the tag belts but it wasn't! SO HERE --- IS WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO!

Joey is crazed, rabid, almost frothing at the mouth in his absolute utter HATE for D-X.

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: AT COLD SNAP, ON PAY-PER-VIEW FEBRUARY SIXTH... the Midnight Cowboys WILL GET another tag team title shot since they were SCREWED OUT OF THIS ONE! If there is a DQ or a count-out, the titles WILL change hands! You can take a break til then, because there is no other team I want to get the belts until FIRST the Cowboys get a chance you can't STEAL from them! BUT THEN! BUT THEN! THIS IS THE BIG PART!

WHEN YOU LOSE... NOT ONLY DO YOU LOSE THE TITLES, BUT YOU CAN NEVER---EVER---TAG AGAIN!

BILL HEWSON: WHAAAAAAT?

The crowd is erupting in boos, Stone and Papa Z and Clint look pissed off, but Winchell ignores the garbage being thrown his way and goes on.

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: DO YOU HEAR ME D-X? AT COLD SNAP, IF YOU FAIL TO WIN... YOU CAN NEVER TAG AGAIN! And IF, IF, in some way you win that match, You know what, I'm a FAIR MAN (right)... I'll leave you alone! BUT IF and WHEN YOU LOSE... Stylin' Kyle Roberts and Bruce "The Beast" Richards can NEVER... EVER tag in NAPW AGAIN! AND THAT IS... FINAL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Holy shit. Cold Snap just got huge. There isn't a happy person in the building with that announcement... except Joseph Winchell, cackling outside the ring. Good night folks.