TUESDAY. NIGHT. FIGHTS.01/23/2007
R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: Shut up you morons! I've got something to say here! The crowd boos him even harder, but the commissioner screams into the microphone. R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: ENOUGH! I've been waiting for this all week! Ever since I took over this lame company, I've been trying to keep this federation fresh and unique! I start taking this company on the road, and on the ocean! I bring back classic NAPW wrestlers like The DUDES and The PLAGUE! I set up a nail-biting gauntley to deal with the unworthy Tag Team Champions! And NOBODY appreciates it! I get grief eferywhere I go, and now I have to deal with a hockey-puck eating, moose-riding, Molson-chugging waste of space like MR. CANADA-- BIG pop for the Masked Canuck and the cheering cuts off the commissioner in mid-rant. R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: --who has the NERVE to tell me that I'm running my company into the ground? Well, I have something to say here: FUCK MR. CANADA! The crowd booooooooooooooooooooos! R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: And I know that there's someone back there in the locker room who knows where he is, and I'm not going to leave until I get some answers! So NORTH GUNDERSON! Get your ass out here! The crowd cheers as the sounds of The Salads come from the speakers and the fan-favourite Gunderson steps out from the back into the spotlight, a little bewildered. A stage hand gives him a microphone, and he smiles. NORTH T. GUNDERSON: Hellllloooooo NAPW! R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: Cut the crap, Gunderson! You were one of the men in black that ruined my match at Black Tuesday, along with that no-good Mr. Canada. NORTH T. GUNDERSON: That's right boss, I was. I put the boots to Kenny Krenshov, and I even got to push you around a few times as well. That sure felt good. But I don't remember Mr. Canada being with that crew. R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: It was Rex Caliber! Rex Caliber was one of the Men in Black! REX CALIBER IS MR. CANADA! NORTH T. GUNDERSON: (Scratching his chin.) Well, I don't know about that, boss. I mean, he said he wasn't last week, didn't he? And Mr. Canada doesn't seem like the kind of guy who'd lie about a thing like that. He's honourable and noble, got a sense of duty, a real Canadian! The crowd cheers but the commissioner starts up with a facial tic. R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: You're just protecting him, you washed-up never-was! TELL ME WHERE MR. CANADA IS! NORTH T. GUNDERSON: I don't know where he is, boss. And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a pizza waiting for me at the concession. R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: Don't you turn your back on me, Gunderson! You work for me, I own you! NORTH T. GUNDERSON: I'm sorry, folks, but did you hear something? I thought I heard a lot of hot air escaping! I guess it was nothing. Well, time for me to get a pizza! Gunderson turns around and leaves, and the comissioner starts spitting into the microphone. R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: All right, go on! There are plenty of people who will play ball, if they know what's good for them! You just made yourself a big enemy, Gunderson! In fact, ALL the people who were Men in Black are on my list! I know ONE of you knows where Mr. Canada is, and if you don't come forward, you're going to pay! Winchell waits for someone to come out, but nobody does. He turns red, and screams. R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: FINE! YOU'LL ALL BE SORRY! But I know one more person who HAS to know where Mr. Canada is! His tag team partner BRIAN BRUNO! Get out here Bruno! The crowd gives another big pop as Big Bad Brian Bruno makes his way down the aisle and into the ring to the sounds of Drowning Pool. R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: You were Rex Caliber's tag team partner at Anniversary Assault! You have to be in contact with him! BRIAN BRUNO: I'm sorry? I've never partnered with Rex Caliber in my life! R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: MR. CANADA! MR. CANADA! BRIAN BRUNO: Well, Mr. Winchell, I don't know if I should be telling you this, but...yes, I have spoken to Mr. Canada in the past few weeks. R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: I KNEW IT! Tell me where he is! Tell me what his plans are! BRIAN BRUNO: No can do, Joseph. R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: Did you just say NO? BRIAN BRUNO: That's right. I don't know what kind of a guy you think I am, but I'm not going to turn over on my partner just because you're having a temper tantrum. R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: TEMPER TANTRUM? You have no respect, Bruno! I'll show you what happens when you go against THE COMMISSIONER! BRIAN BRUNO: You think that I don't have any respect? What about you? You run this place like it was your own personal sandbox, and when things don't go your way you threaten and coerce them until you get what you want. You want me to respect you? Why not try acting like a MAN, JOEY! R. Joseph Winchell III just stares at Bruno, eyes wide, jaw clenghed, that tic in his left eye fluttering even faster. Then, without any warning, he slaps Bruno across the face! Bruno's head snaps back, but he slowly faces the commissioner and gives him a HARD chop across the chest, sending him stumbling back towards the ring ropes. The crowd goes NUTS! The commissioner's eyes widen as he pulls himself back up, walks back towards Bruno, and then POPS HIM IN THE HEAD WITH THE MICROPHONE! Bruno goes down, grabbing his temple, and Winchell gives him a few boots for good measure! R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: YOU DARE TO HIT ME? You're NOTHING, Bruno! You want to start something? I'LL START SOMETHING TOO! Your match against Mark Millar and Wayne Wright starts RIGHT NOW! And it is on! Grade A Alberta Attitude are laying into Brian Bruno after storming the ring. Morgan Smythe is trying to regain control of the match. It doesn't really work because Moose and Wright are going for a double suplex... reversed and Brian Bruno takes both men down with a suplex! Moose rolls out of the ring and Wayne Wright seems to be the one starting the match. Wayne Wright scrambles to his feet and him and Bruno tie-up. Wayne is simply pushed to the ground and a few fierce kicks connect with his ribs...The Moose is back in the ring and forearm to the back of Brian Bruno. Wayne's back up and holding his ribs and let the double teaming begin. Bruno is Irish whipped off the ropes and Double Flapjack! They begin laying into Brian Bruno, stomp after stomp but Brian Bruno is showing incredible heart as he takes the kicks and forces himself onto his knees. Morgan Smythe is trying to pull both men off...Double low blow by Brian Bruno! Morgan didn't see it! Bruno laughs it off and grabs the heads of both Wayne and The Moose. Brian looks to the crowd and smiles and...BAM! Grade A Alberta Attitude have their heads slammed together. Wayne falls to his back and Moose begins to wobble...Overhead Belly to Belly supex...Countered! Belly to Belly by the Moose! The Moose lifts Brian back to his feet and Wayne is up aswell...Brian pushes Wayne into the ropes and clocks the Moose with a hard right. The Moose staggers and Flying Clothesline by Wayne Wright! And Grade A Alberta Attitude is back on the attack. They lift Brian Bruno back to his feet and whip him into a rope when... The lights go out! AWOOOOOOOOOO! The chilling howl of a wolf is heard throughout the building! The lights come back bright as ever and Wayne Wright and Mark "The Moose" Miller are looking around dumbfounded...And Brian Bruno strikes! A hard right takes Wayne Wright to the ground and a kick to the midsection knocks the wind from The Moose and Overhead Belly to Belly! The Moose CRASHES on the other side of the ring and rolls out to avoid further harm. Wayne Wright has slowly gotten to his feet and swings sluggishly at Brian Bruno...Kick to the midsection stops it from even coming close. Brian's signals for it! THE BRUNO BOMBER! Wayne Wright falls limp and Brian Bruno goes for the cover and ONE! TWO! THREE! FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner, BRIAN BRUNNOOOOO! Bruno wins the match, and as per the pre-match agreement, he will face Kurt Castle at the Cold Snap PPV for the Provincial Title... that is, if Castle is still champion after tonight. Joey looks furious... and this is just the start of the night!
"I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred hits the sound system and out come the dancing pair of funksters to a... well, I guess you might call it a 'cold' reaction. FRANK WARBURTON: Hailing from New Mexico and weighing in tonight at 455 lbs, this is the team of Chip N' Dale...The Playgirlz!!! Chip 'N' Dale hit the ring and continue to get on down, much to the chagrin of the audience, until they're stopped in their tracks by a sudden switch in music, and suddenly we're listening to a very strange amalgamation of the Edgar Winters Band's "Frankenstein" and Drowning Pool's old classic "Bodies". FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents weighing in tonight at a total combined weight of 557 lbs... This is the team of Kevin Kodiak and Legion!!! The two giants, both of them around the six-seven, six-eight mark march to the ring, a unit, as Chip and Dale look on from the ring. They know they're in trouble! BILL HEWSON: Will you take a look at this MONSTER tag team! Earlier on this week they were part of an epic battle against one another, and now, thanks to Mr. Winchell, they're a part of one of the most gigantic tag teams I think we've ever seen! JACK JONES: They're big dudes, and you know it only makes sense to put them together! Winchell's doing the smart thing - he's taking two huge destructive forces and putting them together in what might well be an UNSTOPPABLE force! The referee calls for the bell and this one is under way, starting with Kodiak in there against Chip. BILL HEWSON: Well that theory is going to be put to the test right now, Jack, because Chip 'N' Dale are a seasoned tag team! JACK JONES: They're also fighting for their jobs! A genius stipulation once again from our boss! Kodiak and Chip lock up, and Kodiak immediately muscling the smaller man into a standing side headlock. Chip manages to back Kodiak into the ropes and whips him across the ring. Kodiak on the rebound, and... STIFF shoulder block sends Chip sprawling! Kodiak right on his man though, and picking him up. Single arm body slam wows the crowd! Kodiak drops the leg across Chip's face - HIS PRECIOUS FACE - and covers for the first two count of the match. Kodiak picking Chip up, and sends him HARD into his team's corner! Legion wants in, and Kodiak makes the tag. Legion in, stomping Chip in the corner, not letting him catch a single breath. Legion grabbing Chip by the arm... short-arm, right into a SPINEBUSTER! BILL HEWSON: Great teamwork from Legion and Kodiak, already cutting the ring in half. JACK JONES: Yeah, who'd have thunk it? Legion and Kodiak looking like a true tag team! Legion drops down on top of Chip, making the cover. One, Two, No! Chip getting the shoulder off the mat. Legion picking Chip up by his hair - HIS BEAUTIFUL HAIR - and, what's this... whip's him into the ropes, and Legion off the other side... picking up some momentum... OH GOD!! SICK CHARGING CLOTHESLINE! He made the Clothesline From Hell look like a slap on the backside in comparison! Chip, folded inside out, looks like he's dead! He's not moving, but Dale is, he's into the ring, illegally, of course, and he's... admonishing Legion?! He's ACTUALLY giving him a ticking off! Legion looks at Dale, perplexed, before grabbing him, and HUGE headbutt! Legion kicking Dale out of the ring, but wait a second, Chip getting to his feet - and that's no mean feat after THAT move! Legion moving towards Chip, but a shot to the breadbasket stops him in his tracks! And another! And another! Chip now firing away with rapid hands on Legion, and then BOOM! Uppercut! Barely phased the big man, though! BILL HEWSON: Uh-oh! Legion didn't like that! JACK JONES: And he's not exactly the kinda guy you try and piss off, if you catch my drift! Legion grabbing Chip, and shoving his head between his legs - yes you heard that right - and here we go... POWERBOMB! Chip got folded inside out AGAIN! Legion with the cover - One, TWO, THR-- AWW DAMN IT! Dale in for the save! Legion standing up straight now, and he's just staring down Dale! Dale doesn't know where to look! Dale slowly backing up, and he's exiting the ring now, back to his corner, just staring at Legion - is he... is he quivering?! Legion, he's mad now, grabs Chip up by the hair and... Tosses him towards his own corner?! Legion staring Dale down, and he's telling Dale to tag himself in!! Dale, nervously, obliges. Dale into the ring, and he doesn't know what to do! Dale thinking his strategy through... Charges Legion! BIG BOOT! Right to the jaw! Good night! Legion turning to Kodiak, and he makes the tag! Kodiak and Legion in the ring, and Dale clutching his jaw - HIS PRECIOU--- yeah, you get the picture! The two monsters standing over Dale, and they've got some cruel intentions here! Dale... gets to his feet... TWO huge hands around his throat! A lift, and... DOWN to the canvas! Double Chokeslam shook the ring! Kodiak grabs the leg of Dale, twists it round, and THERE'S THE BEAR TRAP!! The Figure Four is in, and it's in deep! Chip staggering into the ring - don't forget him - and he just walks straight into a backbreaker from Legion! Chip rolling onto his stomach, clutching his back... and LEGION APPLIES THE LEGIONNAIRE LOCK! Both men tapping frantically! This one is in the bag! FRANK WARBURTON: Your winners of the match - LEEEEEEEGION and KEVIN! KOOOOOOODIAAAAK!! BILL HEWSON: A convincing win their for Legion and Kodiak - and you know what that means, Jack? JACK JONES: It means that the Playgirlz are HISTORY!! BILL HEWSON: But Legion and Kevin Kodiak, they're here to stay!
"You're so vain!" Frank is cut off by the arrival of Lex Vain to a chorus of boos. Lex is dressed in jogging pants and a track jacket, wearing his sunglasses as he comes to the ring. Frank looks perplexed, until Vain grabs the mic from him. LEX VAIN: The following contest? Frank, the following contest is the match everybody wants to see! It's you... vs me! Lex Vain vs Frank Warburton! Just like it was booked last week. Frank looks on with a "oh come on" expression on his face. He's not a wrestler, after all. Neither is Vain but that doesn't seem to be preventing him from trying to bully around Frank. LEX VAIN: And in accordance with Joseph Winchell's edict, you have to wrestle me or you're out of a job, Frankie boy. In this corner, chump Frank Warburton. In the other corner, the most dazzling, sensational, vainian sexbomb of them all... Lex Vain! Now let the match... begin! *CHUNK* The chunk sound is Vain dropping the mic and cheapshotting Frank! The bell... well, rings as the confused referee slides into the ring. Frank tries to fight back but Vain has the drop on him. What's this? It's a... really bad body slam by Lex on Frank. Lex grabs Frank's jacket and pulls it off, choking him out with it! Oh no! This is just a horrible display by the cowardly Lex Vain to puff up his own ego --- "STONE COLD CRAZY!" Wait a minute! It's SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL! SB runs out to the ring... wait a minute! He slides in and pulls Vain off of Frank, who he was choking out. SB turns Vain around. Lex's eyes bulge and he takes a swing, easily blocked by SB who shakes his head and fakes a right hook. Lex falls down backwards in fear, then turns around into a rising Frank Warburton... who hits a DDT! Whoa Frank! He covers Lex for ONE, TWO, THREE! FRANK WARBURTON: Your winner... well, I suppose, me. Simply Beautiful tosses Lex over the top rope to a pop and raises Frank's arm. Then he asks for the microphone. SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL: Lex Vain, you spend every every week badmouthing good wrestlers. And pickin' on Frank? Well hell Lexy, who kicked who's ass? Now Frank, how about you do me a favor... and introduce the common cold who's ass I'M going to kick right now! Why wait, baby! FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is scheduled for one AWESOME fall! Introducing first, SIMPLY FREAKIN' BEAUTIFUL! And his opponent, from New York City... THE PLAGUE! Disturbed kicks in and out walks The Plague, looking evil. He comes in --- SB meets him in the aisle! Bang a gong, they're getting it on. SB firing away, he's got some fire in his belly today! He charges, Plague body drops him into the crowd. Plague lookin' cocky, he turns around, SB springboards off the top of the security barrier and into Plague with a flying clothesline! That rocks Plague into the apron. Plague rolls into the ring, trying to get away? SB goes to the top rope, baby! He flies off and gets a FRANK DDT onto The Plague! Good God! Cover gets one two, Plague does kick out. SB continuing to bring the noise just like he does against every son of a bitch he goes up against! SB slams Plague, BEST! MOONSAULT! EVER! ... hits knees. Oh man, Plague got his knees up with that veteran instinct. He sends SB to the ropes --- SPINEBUSTER! That could be all right there, KICK OUT! Plague shrugs, grinning that cocky smirk. He double under-hooks the arms, BLACK DEATH II coming up --- SB counters out! He gets behind and hits a neckbreaker, Rick Rude style! Plague is down, SB again up to the top rope... he's going for it! NEW YORK NIGHTMARE CONNECTS! ONE! TWO! ... THREE! FRANK WARBURTON: Your winner? Not just the best, not just the coolest, SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL! SB celebrates his near record-time win over The Plague, who rolls out of the ring groggily. SB grabs the mic again. SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL: Hey! Hey Plague, how was that? You and D! deserve each other, two gigantic jackasses who think they're bigger than the business! I've beat you, but you know what? I want your damn partner! Where's "The Lemondrop Kid" at? Hey Rees, I just beat your partner's ass, you want some? Come get some! SB throws the mic down... the crowd waits, breathless. Will he... oh no, here comes Lloyd Rees. No music, he looks ready to fight, angry. Disgusted with The Plague's quick victory perhaps? Lloyd stops at the top of the aisle however... SB yells at him to come on --- WAIT A MINUTE. FROM BEHIND. CHAIR SHOT... From the Chairman of the NAPW, David Banks! We haven't seen him since he was suspended in the fall! And that was one sick chairshot. Lloyd Rees laughing on the outside, he doesn't even get in the ring as Banks flashes a pearly white grin and holds his chair up high over the fallen SB. Banks joins Lloyd on the outside, both men shaking hands... and leaving The Plague behind? EMTs come out to assist Simply Beautiful, who seems rocked by that hard chairshot...
JACK JONES: I'm glad to have Banks back, but what about Lloyd Rees and David Banks leaving The Plague behind? The Plague and Rees were an awesome team! BILL HEWSON: Lloyd Rees is a user, Jones! You're only good to him as long as you're helping him, and Plague just lost a big match to SB. Nonetheless, we move on. Here's Frank, he of the 1-0 record in NAPW now. Take that Vain! FRANK WARBURTON: The next match of the evening is for the NAPW Provincial Championship! Coming to the ring first, he hails from St. Paul Minnesota and weighs in at 254 lbs....SUPERSTAR Tommy Deathrow!! "We Fall, We Fall" by Dead Celebrity Status hits the sound system and the crowd goes nuts for everyones favorite psycho. Tommy emerges from the back wearing a Doomriders tee shirt and heads for the ring. FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent, he is the reigning NAPW Provincial Champion and a member of The Untouchables. Hailing from Rochester New York and weighing in at 298 lbs....."The Devastator" Kurt Castle!! "Untouchable" by Scarface pumps through the speakers as the huge Provincial Champion comes out to a wave of boos and taunts. He stands at the top of the entrance way smiling, the Provincial Title around his waist and Raul Havok by his side. The duo walk to the ring, Castle never taking his eyes off of Tommy. JACK JONES: I don't know about you but I think the so called Superstar has met his match tonight! BILL HEWSON: Didn't you think that last week too? Castle climbs into the ring, removes his championship belt and hands it not to the referee but to Havok on the outside. The referee calls for the bell as Castle and Tommy meet each other in the center of the ring and start talking trash to each other. Castle gestures that the title will remain around his waist as he talks smack to Deathrow. Tommy grins and smacks the champ the with a looping right hand to the head! Castle staggers back and Deathrow drills him with two more stiff right hands to the head that snap the Champs head back. Castle quickly drives a knee into the rib cage of Tommy stopping the barrage of right hands. Castle grabs Tommy and sends him sailing over the top rope to the floor where Raul awaits. As Castle distracts the referee Havok gets in a cheap shot on Deathrow before rolling him back into the ring. Castle pulls Tommy to his feet and Irish whips him into the ropes connecting with a brutal kick to the face! Castle stands over a dazed Deathrow and places a foot on the challengers chest. The referee barely gets a one count on Tommy before he knocks the foot off of him and struggles to get back to his feet. Castle grabs the smaller man and take shim up in the lights with a delayed vertical suplex before sending him crashing back down to the mat. BILL HEWSON: Castle is using his size and power to dominate Tommy Deathrow. JACK JONES: Chalk up another win to The Untouchables! Casino was a genius hiring this guy! Again Castle goes for a lazy cover and Deathrow kicks out at one. Castle pulls Tommy to his feet and shoots him into the far turnbuckle. Tommy hits hard and Castle rushes in only to get a face full of wrestling boot from Deathrow! Castle staggers back and Tommy flies out of the corner and takes the champion off of his feet with a double leg take down! Castle tries to cover up as Deathrow lets the fists fly! Havok climbs up on the ring apron and attempts to come inside. Tommy pulls off of Castle and grabs a handful of Havoks hair before the portly manager can escape. Tommy spits in Rauls face and drops him with a big right hand to the head! As Raul bounces off of the ring apron to the floor, Tommy returns his attention to Castle who is now getting back to his feet. Tommy takes a boot to the gut that momentarily stops him and Castle follows up with a DDT. This time the champ hooks a leg as the referee gets in a two count before Deathrow kicks out! Castle grabs two handfuls of Tommys hair and roughly pulls him to his feet. Castle whips Deathrow into the ropes and military press slams the Doomrider to the canvas! Tommy uses the ring ropes to pull himself back to his feet and turns around just in time to take a clothesline that sends him over the top rope and down to the floor below! BILL HEWSON: Castle is making sure that Tommy doesn't build any kind of momentum! Castle rolls to the outside and suddenly all eyes in the arena turn towards the entrance way. R. Joseph Winchell III has arrived! He stands at the entrance way watching the match. Speaking of the match, Castle is stomping away at Tommy on the outside as the referee is trying to get both men back into the ring. Castle pulls Tommy to his feet and looks to whip him into the steel steps. It's reversed! Castle is the one who eats the ring stairs as Tommy quickly rolls in and then back out of the ring thus breaking the ten count. Castle is quickly getting back to his feet when he's clubbed by a running clothesline from Tommy that sends him over the guardrail and into the first row of fans! The referee rolls to the outside and gets in Tommys face threatening to toss this match out. Deathrow puts up his hands as if to say he understands then shoves the man in the zebra shirt aside! Deathrow advances on Castle but gets beer splashed in his face from Castle. Castle tosses the now empty beer cup back to the angry fans lap and climbs over the guard rail and back into the fight that's become this title match. Castle drives Tommy back first into the ringpost and then rolls him back into the ring. Castle slides in behind Deathrow and stalks his prey as he tries to get to his feet. JACK JONES: Just ring the bell already, this things over. BILL HEWSON: It's not over until that bell rings partner! Castle grabs Deathrow and delivers a bone rattling pump handle slam before going into a cover! One, two, thr...No! Tommy kicks out! Castle looks frustrated as he gets back to his feet and walks to the nearest turnbuckle, a demented smile on his face. As Tommy lays motionless on the mat, Castle unties the top turnbuckle pad and pulls it off dropping it onto the mat. The referee immediately throws a fit and goes to fix the turnbuckle. Tommy is now on his knees and Castle grabs a handful of hair before taking a trademark low blow from the Doomrider! Castle drops to all fours and Tommy quickly gets to his feet so that he can drive a foot into the ribs of "The Devastator!" Tommy pulls Castle up, pops him with a hard right hand and Irish whips him into the corner. The very corner where the referee has just finished fixing the turnbuckle pad! The referee crumples to the mat as Castle staggers out of the corner and gets taken up and over with a back body drop from Deathrow! Tommy spots the downed referee and smirks before rolling to the outside. Tommy yanks back the ring apron and pulls out a metal folding chair to the huge cheers of the fans! Tommy rolls back into the ring and raises the chair above his head so that he can get maximum damage on Castle. Havok slips in behind Deathrow and grabs the chair before Tommy can use it! BILL HEWSON: Damn that Havok! These Untouchables are ruining NAPW! Tommy rips the chair out of Rauls grip and wraps the chair around the skull of the Untouchables manager! Havok drops to the mat as if he were shot and Tommy turns his attention back to Castle. "The Devastator" catches Tommy walking in with a brutal spinebuster that leaves the challenger writhing in pain. The referee is starting to stir and Castle quickly picks up the metal chair. Castle waits for Deathrow to get to his feet and then takes a swing at the Doomrider! Tommy drops down and the chair bounces off of the top rope and back into the face of Kurt Castle! Castle drops the chair and Tommy kicks the champ in the gut doubling him over. Deathrow places Castles head between his legs and nails his Deathrow Driver (Foley like piledriver) onto the chair! The referee is back to his feet and looks to have his wits about him, but not before Deathrow quickly slides the chair out of the ring! JACK JONES: You got to be &*%$ kidding me! The referee spots the cover and goes in for the count! One, two, three!!! The crowd explodes as Tommy Deathrow has just won his first title ever in NAPW! BILL HEWSON: It's history! Superstar Tommy Deathrow has won the NAPW Provincial Title! What a win! JACK JONES: This match should be tossed out! Tommy used a foreign object! This is bogus! Tommy isn't supposed to be a champion! FRANK WARBURTON: Your winner by pinfall...And NEW NAPW Provincial Champion....SUPERSTAR Tommy Deathrow!!!! The camera pans to a disgusted looking R. Joseph Winchell III who is shaking his head. We pan back to Tommy who is handed the Provincial Title and he holds it close to his chest as if someone is going to try and take it away from him. And then... WINCHELL: Excuse me, what? Tommy Deathrow cheated! Piledriver right on the chair after a hardfought match! Now I can't excuse Raul Havok for bringing the chair into the ring, but I am REVERSING THE DECISION of this match! Kurt Castle wins... by disqualification! And is STILL the NAPW Provincial Champion! Oh lord. BOOOOOOOOOO. The crowd shits all over the decision... wait a minute! It's Chris Casino and Krenshov attacking Deathrow! Here come Billy Kryenik and Brian Bruno to even the odds --- WINCHELL: NO NO NO! That's it! I've had it! SECURITY! Come and break this up! BILL HEWSON: Well about time he's done something about the chaos on this show! WINCHELL: Security, EJECT THOSE MEN! Bruno, Kryenik, Deathrow --- get them the hell OUT OF MY BUILDING? Crowd is not happy. BILL HEWSON: What? What about Casino and Krenshov? Come on! This is a travesty! Deathrow screwed out of the Provincial Title and then this! JACK JONES: Goes around comes around! BILL HEWSON: You better hope not, or The Untouchables will get theirs, big-time. Cut to commercial as security swarm the Doomriders and Bruno, who look ready to mutiny...
R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: You SEE? You see what happens when you don't play ball? Kryenik and Deathrow could have come out and told me about Mr. Canada when I gave them the opportunity, but they didn't, and Bruno REFUSED a direct order from me! And now they're OUT of here! And that's just for STARTERS! Mr. Canada is a BLIGHT on the face of the NAPW! He's RUINING this company! And I'll go through every single wrestler in this damn federation until I get my hands on Mr. Canada! And then, when I get him in the ring, I'm going to take-- The commissioner's rant is cut off by the blasting sounds of the FOO FIGHTERS as The New & Improved D-X come out from the back and parade their way down to the ringside. Winchell's jaw drops as he sees the tag team champions. They both have the NAPW Tag Team Title Belts around their waists, but the rest of their attire is not what one would expect. The Beast has his black t-shirt and jeans on, but he has a Canadian flag patch on the back of his black duster, and his cowboy hat is red and white with a maple leaf on the peak. Stylin' Kyle, clean-shaven for once, is wearing his wrestling gear, but has his face painted white with a red maple leaf in the center, and is wearing a Canadian flag as a cape, holding it up behind him as he runs down to the ring. They climb into the ring and parade around, Kyle waving his flag as the music fades. Winchell gets right in Kyle's face. R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: What the hell do YOU TWO-- Kyle Roberts grabs the microphone and sings into it with a surprisingly well-tuned baritone voice. KYLE ROBERTS: Ooooohhhhh CAAAAA-NA-DAAAAA! He holds the microphone out and the crowd starts singing along! Bruce sings as he stands on the turnbuckle, conducting one side of the audience; Kyle keeps singing as he pushes past Winchell and holds the microphone as far out into the crowd as he can. They get to the end of the first verse before the commissioner grabs himself another microphone and cuts them off! R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: STOP SINGING! STOP SINGING THAT SONG! KYLE ROBERTS: Joey! I'm ashamed of you! Bruce and I raised you better than to disrespect your national anthem! R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: I'll ignore that, for now. KYLE ROBERTS: Fair enough; we ignore YOU all the time. Winchell grits his teeth and fumes. R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: You two finally smarten up and realize that you'd be doing the right thing by helping me track down Mr. Canada? Do you know where he is? BRUCE RICHARDS: Yes, Joey. We know where Mr. Canada is. Winchell's face breaks out in a huge grin as the crowd starts mumbling to themselves. Would The New & Improved D-X really rat out Mr. Canada? R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: Where is he?! BRUCE RICHARDS: He's close by. R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: WHERE IS HE?! Kyle Roberts takes two steps closer to Winchell, then stops and touches his own chest. KYLE ROBERTS: He's here. He's in my heart. And he's in Bruce's heart. And he's in the heart of every red-blooded NAPW fan in this arena tonight, and every NAPW fan who knows that the only person who's ruining this federation is "THE BAD BOY" JOEY MALONE! Kyle Roberts runs around the ring, whipping the crowd into a frenzy. R. Joseph Winchell III EXPLODES with anger. R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: You SHUT UP, Roberts! If you don't have anything INTERESTING to say, then you had better just get out of here before you land yourself in trouble! BRUCE RICHARDS: What, like you could put us through a gauntlet in order to make us lose our titles? Or maybe you could write a ridiculous stipulation that means that Kyle and I would have to break up if we lose a match? Wait, I know! You could make incredibly bad decisions, losing money and respect, putting the company in financial jeopardy, and make us want to leave the NAPW by virtue of its devaluation! WAIT! You're already DOING all that! KYLE ROBERTS: What more could you possibly do to us, Joey? NOTHING, that's what! We beat your gauntlet, we're going to beat the Midnight Man-Whores, and we're keeping the NAPW afloat by all of The New & Improved D-X's accolades and the sheer powere of our AWESOMENESS. And if you DID use your pea brain to come up with another idea, we'd ruin that TOO! You've got nothing on us, Joey. R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: Oh, I've got NOTHING on you, huh? Well, I'll let you know that you've already gotten a response to the ridiculous challenge you two made this afternoon. I was going to just tell them to go screw themselves, but when I realized who was accepting the challenge, I knew I had to see it for myself. So, I would just like to take this opportunity to announce that on the next Tuesday Night Fights, there will be a NAPW Lumberjack Title Match! Featuring the current GASTOWN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Expositioner and The Mystic Ninja! And the lumberjacks will be hand-picked by Justice Grey, Adam Engel, and myself! The crowd boos as The Beast and Stylin' Kyle look at each other, confused, as the commissioner folds his arms and looks smug. R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: And that's not ALL! I've got another announcement for you! Kyle Roberts, your match begins NOW! AND HERE COMES CLINT ZELLOR! He runs from the back like a madman, but as he nears the ring Roberts FLIEs over the top rope, nailing a plancha. Bruce rolls out of the ring, muttering "that's my move" as he heads to the back, leaving just Roberts and Zellor, man on man. Kyle starts pounding on Clint on the ramp, but the action quickly spills back into the ring. Roberts shoots the Midnight Cowboy to the ropes, and charges in with a basement dropkick that connects, toppling him over. Wasting no time, Kyle mounts him again and starts pummeling him with right hands, trying to bust him open over the eye - but Zellor blocks and counterstrikes, which gives him just enough time to flip Roberts over and hit a few fists of his own, damn near taking Roberts' head off. He picks the tag team champ up, only to bodyslam him back down. He drops and elbow, but Kyle rolls over and evades, sending Clint to the mat in a heap. Roberts quickly nips up, and toe kicks a rising Zellor right in the breadbasket before attempting a DDT - which is blocked, and turned into a nice Norther Lights Suplex. A bridge cover gets just barely two before Roberts powers out. Clint gets to his feet first, and drops a heavy forearm over Stylin' Kyle's back before kicking the back of his leg out, laying him supine on the mat. He backs a few steps up, and drops a Ric Flair - like knee drop, right on the forehead of his downed opponent. Without pause, Zellor grabs Roberts and sticks his knee right in his back, pulling both arms back in a bow and arrow submission, though he's just looking to inflct pain here. Roberts struggles to get to his feet, and Clint can't seem to keep him down for long - Roberts is standing up now, and he slips behind Zellor, breaking the reverse wrist lock and pulling off a textbook Russian Leg Sweep. The fans applaud, and Kyle gets back on his feet in time to dodge a lariat from Zellor, who just popped up like it was no big deal, and pushes him into the corner before follwing up with a running dropkick, pressing Zellor into the turnbuckles! Roberts back sommersaults over and gets to his feet, and Zellor looks a bit wobbly. Kyle moves in for a flying forearm - but it's ZELLOR with a flying shouldertackle, knocking Roberts right out the air! Zellor gets himself back up, and suplexes Kyle for good measure. He covers again, but can only get a two before Roberts gets the shoulder up. Zellor looks a little annoyed, but surely he knows that a suplex won't keep Stylin' Kyle down! Roberts gets up to his knees, and Zellor punches him square on the forehead to halt him right in his tracks. Kyle again starts to get up, now holding the ropes, and Zellor sees a golden opportunity - and he sizes him up for a spear! Kyle struggles up to his feet, back turned to Zellor, and then finally turns around - and PULLS THE ROPE DOWN, sending Zellor flying outside the ring! The fans go bonkers for that one, Zellor just became one with the cold, hard concrete! Roberts stumbles a bit, but manages to get up as Zellor gets up on the outside. Zellor gets up on the apron - and Kyle flies over to the turnbuckle, jumping on the top one in a single leap before CLOTHESLINING Zellor right off the ring! Both men crash to the outside, and the crowd is on their feet! Kyle lies face down, and Zellor is out on his back, looking like a cyclone just hit him. "HOLY (BLEEP), HOLY (BLEEP), HOLY (BLEEP)" quickly fills the arena, and after nearly a minute of the two men struggling to reach their feet, they both finally get up. The ref isn't even counting, since no one wants to see this grudge match end in a draw. BOOM! Zellor punches Roberts! SLAP! WOOO! A chop from Roberts! CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! Zellor grabs his chest in pain, and Roberts sticks him with a toe kick, doubling him over. Kyle looks for a piledriver on the arena floor, don't do it Kyle! He's got Zellor up - but Clint manages to get leverage and get back down on his feet, back dropping Roberts onto the steel steps! The crowd oohs and aahs, and Zellor rolls into the ring. "Count that sonofabitch out, ref", Clint tells Senior referee John Sharplin. ONE! TWO! THREE! - Kyle hasn't moved. FOUR! FIVE! SIX!....Kyle is on his knees, propping himself up on the apron! SEVEN! EIGH! - Roberts rolls in! And Zellor doesn't give him time to blink before he lays the boots to him. Sharplin breaks it up, and Kyle scrambles to his feet, elbows Zellor in the head, and follows with a European uppercut. Zellor bounds into the ropes, right into a MOOSE JAW DRIVER! The crowd erupts, this could be it! ONE!...TWOOOOO!....JUST TWO, Zellor powers Roberts off! The grapplers get up simultaneously, and Zellor gets the upper hand with a forearm smash to the face, and then power whips Roberts hard into the turnbuckles, sending him up and over onto the ring apron. Kyle walks along the apron, dazed, before Zellor dives THROUGH THE ROPEs and connects with a SPEAR, sending them flying outside yet again! Zellor landed on top, and after some gloating sends Roberts back inside. A pin follows, but Roberts gets up at TWO and Three Quarters! BAM BAM BAM! Zellor with hard right hands over Roberts' eye, busting him open! The blood flows freely from Kyle's head, this is turning into a WAR! Zellor is trying to just toy with him now, and he grabs Roberts over the top rope to the outside. He turns his back on him, and taps his head with a single finger, mocking the Kyle Roberts "Smart Than You" taunt the fans have come to love, drawing some boos from the crowd. And by some, a mean a lot. But KYLE SKINNED THE CAT, and he's back inside! The fans go nuts, and Zellor realizes - too late - that something is afoul. He turns around, and Kyle clotheslines him over the top rope, leading to Roberts pulling off the famous taunt himself, as the crowd roars in approval! Roberts looks around, weighs his options, and charges the ropes, taking flight once more! BUT ZELLOR CATCHES HIM, and hits a devastating running powerslam on the floor! They land with a sick thud, and Zellor rolls Roberts back inside. Zellor ascends the turnbuckles, first the bottom rope, then the second, and flies off with a forearm. NOW, he pins. ONE.....TWOOOO.....THRE - NO! Roberts with the shoulder up, there's still some life, by God! Zellor can't believe it. What'll keep Roberts down? He goes back up to turnbuckle number two, and now wants leg drop - he comes off, and NOBODY'S HOME, baby! The fans with another pop as Roberts barely evades the two hundred and seventy three pounder. Zellor grabs at his keister in pain, and Roberts drags himself up to his feet. Zellor rises...stumbles to the middle of the ring...POLARIZER! ROBERTS STORMED OUT OF THE CORNER AND NAILED IT FLUSH! COVERRRR! ONEEEE.....TWOOOOO......TWO AND A HALF, Zellor kicked out! Moans from the crowd fill the venue, everyone thought Roberts had it! His blood has by now decorated the mat, and Kyle's plenty woozy, almost unable to stand. Zellor finds it within him to get up, and the two stare right into each other's eyes in the middle of the ring. "To the end," Roberts says, smirking. SLAP! Clint slaps the taste out of Kyle's mouth, no respect at all from Zellor! Roberts slaps him right back, and follows that with yet another toe kick, once again doubling the big man over. Off the ropes, and Kyle with a swinging neckbreaker! Both men are down, and the ref starts his count! He gets up to five, and Roberts NIPS UP! Whoa baby, he's hot! The crowd explodes, they want to see Kyle end this right now! LIONSAULT! That HAS to be it! ONE....TWOOOO....THREEEKICKOUT! Incredible, how did he survive that? Roberts is in disbelief, along with a lot of NAPW fans. He gets up on his knees, and forces himself up. Zellor gets up as well, and the two men get locked up in a greco-roman knuckle lock. Zellor press him down, and then knees him in the gut. Roberts goes down to one knee, but gets back up quickly before being interrupted by a HUGE right hand, and then an irish whip - TWIRLY-GO-ROUND! TWIRLY-GO-ROUND! This could be it! Zellor just has to roll over and make the cover....he drapes an arm across...one....twooo....HOLY (BLEEP). ROBERTS KICKED OUT! ROBERTS KICKED OUT! Zellor is gonna have to KILL this man if he wants the win! Zellor rolls on his back, almost completely out of gas. Kyle crawls to a corner, and uses the ropes to will himself up. Zellor gets up, on his own power, and stumbles around a bit, looking dazed as hell - and Kyle with a double-leg takedown - BEAR TAMER! HE'S TRYING TO FLIP HIM OVER, IF HE CAN GET THIS LOCKED IN HE'LL HAVE TO TAP OUT! Zellor is fighting...fighting...IT'S IN! IT'S IN! Kyle yanks back as hard as a human could, he's trying to break Clint Zellor right in half! He screams at the top of his lungs, a crazed primal scream. Zellor screams too, from the unbearable pain of the Tamer - he's close to the ropes, however. He reaches - he's so damn close - Kyle pulls back with everything he has! Clint GRABS the rope, and Sharplin orders a break - which is ignored by Roberts! He won't break, even though Clint has his whole arm wrapped around! Sharplin counts, and Kyle finally breaks at four, throwing down Zellor's legs in frustration. Zellor pulls himself up with help from the ropes, but turns right into - get this, folks - an OLYMPIC SLAM from Roberts, I guess he's run out of moves to hit this crazy bastard with! Both men's bodies hit the mat hard, and Kyle is in no position to pin Zellor. The ref counts them off yet again...Kyle rolls over.....and gets on top of Clint. ONE, TWO, THREE? NO SIR, foot on the rope! The fans, in total awe of the match, have fallen silent, as if to not interrupt the wrestlers down in the ring! Both men lie prone on the mat, each one with absolutely nothing left. After Sharplin gives them ample recovery time, he reluctantly starts to count them out. ONE TWO THREE. The fans are on their feet, stomping on the floor, clapping their hands, trying to will the men to their feet! FOUR FIVE SIX. "PLEASE GET UP, PLEASE GET UP, PLEASE GET UP!" The fans are gonna blow this freakin' roof off, this is nuts! SEVEN EIGHT. The fans don't let up an inch! NINEEEEEEE.....Zellor sits up, and Kyle follows suit. This is too much, what a match! The fans go bonkers, and once again get behind Stylin' Kyle. Both men allow the other to get up, and they square off once more, for perhaps the last time in this match. Collar and Elbow tie-up, and Zellor tosses Roberts into the corner - Roberts counters by walking up the turnbuckles, and comes off with the WHISPER IN THE WIND, are you KIDDING me? Zellor catches him in mid-air! He has him up on his shoulders, but tosses Roberts up a few inches, and catches him once more, in bearhug position! TWIRLY-GO-ROUND, GOOD LORD! The ring nearly collapsed on that one! ONE.....TWOOOO.....THREEEEEEEEEE! "Bang Bang to the Rock and Roll" hits the speakers, and the crowd is absolutely stunned! BILL HEWSON: Never in my LIFE have I seen ANYTHING, ANYTHING, like what we just witnessed! Jack Attack, that may have been the most brutal contest I've ever seen, and there weren't even any chairs. And, by God, that was a clean, impressive victory for Clint Zellor! JACK JONES: I'll tell you what that was, Hewson! That was a preview of Cold Snap, because if that happens at the Pay Per View, the Midnight Cowboys will be Tag Team champions! BILL HEWSON: I can't even argue that, Jack Attack. That will be one HELLACIOUS match at Cold Snap, no doubt about it! Zellor finally is able to get up in the ring, and Poppa Z and Stone come on down to the ring to celebrate, and help Clint to the back. They stop for a moment by the curtain, and look back down at the ring, motioning to Kyle that the belts are theirs at Cold Snap! Once they leave, Kyle gets up in the ring. The fans all get back to their feet, and it's a standing O for one hell of an effort from Stylin' Kyle Roberts as he walks to the back, dejected over the tough loss.
WINCHELL: Allow me to make one thing clear. I will not let the inmates run this asylum! I have kicked out anyone who seems to think they can challenge my authority! I have fired or suspended anyone who disobeys the very fair rules I set forth. The Doomriders and Brian Bruno are out of the building. New and Improved D-X won't be causing any more problems tonight. Now. Can we have one moment of normalcy around here? The lights go out. WINCHELL: Oh what now? I paid the rent check... AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! The lights come back on. Josh looks surprised, to say the least. Winchell is pale. WINCHELL: WHY CAN'T PEOPLE AROUND HERE JUST (BLEEP)ING WRESTLE?!?!?!?!? We cut to the announcers. Jack Jones is talking with Bill Hewson. JACK JONES: ... And that's when I realized I wasn't wearing pants. Pause BILL HEWSON: That's it? JACK JONES: Yes. Why? BILL HEWSON: I just expected something more. JACK JONES: What else is there? I found myself without pants. BILL HEWSON: Okay... JACK JONES: It was the most awkward Bar Mitzvahs ever... BILL HEWSON: ... And there we go! Match time ladies and gentlemen! "Attack" By 30 Seconds to Mars plays, and "The Colossal" Kenny Krenshov makes his way to the ring, with manager Eli Potts. FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall! Currently in the ring, from Middletown, NJ, weighing in at 368 lbs. He is accompanied by Eli Potts, and is a member of The Untouchables! He is "The Colossal" Kenny Krenshov! Boo. Hiss. FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent... "Ibi Dreams Of Pavement" by Broken Social Scene takes over the speakers. The fans pop for the former NAPW and Pure Honor champion. But there is no Bickle. JACK JONES: Bickle showing some brains tonight. BILL HEWSON: It's not like Bickle to back down from any challenge. Even one as massive as Krenshov. The fans buzz as there is activity in the crowd. Krenshov is focused on the entrance, but is not ready when Bickle emerges from the crowd! Bickle scales the turnbuckles, and crashes into the monster! Krenshov is taken by surprise by the attack, but only down to one knee. Referee John Sharplin calls for the bell! BILL HEWSON: Bickle knows that there is nobody left in the building to help him out! He's got to end things quick! Bickle hits a swinging neck breaker on the surprised Krenshov, and goes for the cover! One... Mega kick out by Krenshov. Bickle is sent half way across the ring. Unperturbed, Bickle nails a dropkick on the rising giant, then tries to hit a cross arm breaker. Krenshov just lifts Bickle up, and tosses him down. He grabs Bickle by the hair, and drags him up for a stalling powerslam. One ... Two... Three... the fans count as Krenshov keeps Bickle elevated, before finally crashing him to the mat! And a cover! One... Two... and Bickle kicks out! Krenshov is more amused than surprised, as he scoops Bickle up and slams him back down. Krenshov places a knee across Bickle's chest, then starts laying in punches to Bickle's jaw. Referee Sharplin starts a five count, and Krenshov relents. A bit. He stands in the corner as he waits for Bickle to rise to his feet, then NAILS a running forearm! Bickle is down in a heap, Krenshov goes for another cover! One... Two... Bickle just kicks out. Now Krenshov is annoyed. He glares at referee Sharplin, who backs up a bit... JACK JONES: I don't know what Sharplin is trying to prove with this biased officiating. He's just going to make Krenshov mad. BILL HEWSON: Bickle kicked out! How is that biased... JACK JONES: Oh good, here comes someone to restore sanity! Chris Casino, his Pure honor title in hand, makes his way to the ring, along with Raul Havok. They ignore the boos of the crowd. And join Eli Potts at ringside. When referee Sharplin demands to know what is going on, Casino just smirks and says: The monitor went out in the back. Wanted to scout the competition. JACK JONES: What a smart champion! Doing whatever it takes to give the fans a better match! BILL HEWSON: Yeah, Casino's all about the fans... Krenshov nods at his Untouchables team mate, and turns back to Bickle, who has pulled himself up on the ropes. Krenshov charges, going for his deadly running big boot.. Bickle ducks! Krenshov straddles the top rope, and Bickle takes any advantage he can! He rushes to the top rope, and SPEARS Krenshov to the mat! Knowing this isn't enough for the win, he quickly goes back to the top and FREEFALL !!! All or nothing, crash and burn, Bickle has to take extreme measures against the monster Krenshov! A cover! One... Two... Krenshov gets his shoulder up!... and he seems to have a grip on Bickle! Krenshov rolls over and drags Bickle up! He's got Bickle in a bearhug! Bickle trying to get an arm free to loosen the pressure... and Krenshov just starts shaking Bickle like a rag doll! Bickle is being flailed about as the air is squeezed out of him! Casino is cheering this on, the fans are trying to support Bickle, but are a bit disturbed by the strength of the colossal one. Bickle tries to get a thumb in Krenshov's eye, but Krenshov turns his head, and shakes Bickle some more. Bickle is starting to fade... Sharplin raises Bickle's arm... It drops. He raises it again... It drops... He raises it for the third and last time... but Bickle comes to life! He starts to rain punches on Krenshov's brow. Krenshov shakes the man, but Bickle is not giving up so easily! Finally, Krenshov has no choice but to... oh my. Krenshov rams Bickle into the corner turnbuckle! Then into the opposite turnbuckle! Bickle starting to go limp... and Krenshov starts to flail Bickle around again! Bickle looks to be bleeding from the mouth... Krenshov plants Bickle on the mat, but keeps the bear hug cinched in. Bickle looks to be out... his shoulders are on the mat, and Sharplin smartly counts One... Two... three. FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of the bout: "The Colossal" Kenny Krenshov! Chris Casino has entered the ring, and Krenshov hoists Bickle up. Casino just slaps the taste out of Bickle's mouth, yelling "You won't be able to take me..." Bickle spits right in Casino's face! Casino is enraged, and Krenshov turns Bickle around and nails the Total Eclipse! Casino is going for a chair! BILL HEWSON: Damn it! He's going to make sure Bickle doesn't make his Pure Honor match next week, and there's nobody left to stop this! Casino has a chair. But something seems to be holding him back. It's like the chair is stuck. He turns to see the problem. And gets to stare into the steely eyes of Ravager. JACK JONES: Is anybody going to use the ring entrance tonight? Casino backs up a step, and Ravager jumps the barricade, Casino's chair in hand. Ravager swings at the Pure champ, but Casino ducks. casino bolts around the ring, Ravager in pursuit! Chair shot for Eli Potts, chair shot for Raul Havok, but Krenshov grabs the chair from Ravager. Ravager and Krenshov stand eye to eye. Or more accurately, eye to sternum. Ravager looks up at the massive Krenshov, who smirks at the smaller man. ravager smirks back... and head butts the big men right in the solar plexus! Krenshov doubles over, and Ravager nails him with another head butt! But Casino nails Ravager from behind with the Pure title! Krenshov and Casino put the boots to Ravager... "Hold On, I'm Coming"! Evan Cartwright?! BILL HEWSON: I guess Cartwright was genuine about the respect he showed last week! Cartwright with his kendo stick races to ringside! Krenshov and casino back up a bit, Ravager is up, and all four men look ready to rumble... "NO NO NO NO NO NO!" Ladies and gentlemen, our esteemed commissioner. JOSEPH WINCHELL: I have had enough of this! There will be order! There will be respect for my authority! And if you four want to fight, it will be in the ring, under NAPW rules, with an NAPW official. I'm making a tag match! Right now. Cartwright and Ravager versus Casino and Krenshov! The fans pop huge for this. Ravager and Cartwright shrug and lunge at their opponents! The fight is on as Cartwright trades blows with Casino, and Ravager tries to chop down the massive Krenshov! Cartwright rolls into the ring, followed by Casino, and the bell rings to start this impromptu match! Krenshov and Ravager finally make their way to their corners, and Casino and Cartwright lock up! Casino arm drags Cartwright, then goes for a shining wizard! Cartwright ducks, arm drags Casino, then goes for a roaring elbow! Casino ducks that, then both men go for a dropkick! They hit the mat, but are quick to their feet, fists raised! After a brief moment, and a nice round of applause from the audience, casino and Cartwright lock up again. Cartwright gets the headlock, Casino fights out of it, sending Cartwright to the ropes. Cartwright leapfrogs Casino, and catches Casino on the way back with the Perfect Uppercut! Casino is down, Cartwright covers! One.. Two.. Casino kicks out! Cartwright goes for the kill, but Casino begs off! He points to Cartwright's corner, where Ravager stand s ready. BILL HEWSON: I think Casino wants Ravager! JACK JONES: Ravager can't duck Casino now! The Pure Champ will expose every weakness Ravager has as a wrestler! We've been waiting over a year for this folks! And tonight it happens! Cartwright tags in Ravager, to a HUGE pop. Ravager and Casino meet center ring, the tension is massive, Ravager gets ready to throw a punch... But Casino says "not on free TV" and tags in Krenshov. JACK JONES: And Ravager ducks Casino again! Mind boggling! BILL HEWSON: Okaybutwhat?! Ravager glares at Casino, but doesn't ignore the giant in front of him. Ravager circles the massive Krenshov. Krenshov follows Ravager's movements like a hunter, never letting his prey out of his sight. Ravager makes a quick move to take Krenshov down, but Krenshov pushes Ravager back. Ravager looks for another opening, but Krenshov tosses ravager into the corner. Ravager looks perturbed, to say the least. He takes a second to consider all his options... The calmly walks over and headbutts Casino. Casino, enraged, tries to get in the ring to fight back. Sharplin stops this. And Ravager uses this time to plant his boot squarely in Krenshov's crotch. A collective wince goes up through the arena. Krenshov... yeah, there's no brushing this one off, he sinks to his knees. Ravager grabs Krenshov and plants a STIFF headbutt. Both men are split open on that one. Ravager lays in with a series of forearms, while Casino is furiously trying to get past referee Sharplin. Both Potts and Havok are screaming in anger. And Cartwright and Ravager smartly double team the Colossal Krenshov. A double suplex puts Krenshov on his back. Cartwright gets Krenshov in a Boston Crab (granted, Ravager helps drag Krenshov over) while Ravager locks on a cross face! The fans are going nuts, Potts and Havok are on the ring apron screaming in anger, Casino finally pushes Sharplin aside and runs in to help his partner. A kick to Ravager, a kick to Cartwright, and the illegal submission is broken. Cartwright tackles Casino and the two men fall out of the ring. Ravager hits a rising Krenshov with a DDT! He goes for a cover! One... Two... Krenshov kicks out! Ravager goes for the Garotte, but Krenshov just stands up. Even weakened, he's still a powerhouse. He backs Ravager into the corner, then nails him with a splash. Then another. And one more for good measure. Ravager slumps to the mat, and Krenshov covers! One... Two... Ravager has his foot on the ropes! Krenshov doesn't take any time to argue, he simply lifts Ravager up and slaps on another bearhug! BILL HEWSON: Krenshov looking to end things here the same way he did earlier! Ravager is in a bad place as the vice like grip of Krenshov squeezes the life out of the White Collar Assassin! Cartwright and Casino are finally back in their corners, and each shout encouragement to their partner. Ravager looks to be losing consciousness, when Krenshov drops Ravager. Ravager hits the mat with a sick thud. BILL HEWSON: I don't get it... JACK JONES: Oh you will! Krenshov tags in Casino, who climbs to the top rope! And Casino leaps, and nails a perfect top rope elbow smash! Ravager is nearly planted into the mat, and Casino covers! One... two.. BOOT TO THE HEAD Evan Cartwright with the save for his partner! Sharplin gets the NAPW champion out of the ring, and Casino looks furious that he didn't get the pinfall. He drags Ravager up, and nails a brianbuster! Ravager is out, and Casino goes for another cover! One... Two... BOOT TO THE HEAD Cartwright is in once more for the save! Casino gets in Cartwright's face, helpfully reminding the champion who it was that made "Perfection" what he is. Cartwright just smirks at Casino. Casino pie faces the champ, who respondes with a hard slap to the face! Casino takes a step back, seethes with anger, then slaps Evan! The fans are on their feet as the two former Rat Pack members look ready to really explode here! Cartwright with a hard shove to Casino, Casino lunges at Cartwright! ... and Cartwright side steps, and drop toe holds Casino into the turnbuckles. Casino winds up with his face planted into the bottom turnbuckle.... oh oh. Ravager has used the break wisely. He's on his feet. Silencer time. A hard boot to the back of Casino's head and the Pure Champ is in trouble. Ravager with the cover! One... two, Casino kicks out. Both men are hurt. Ravager had enough to hit the Silencer, but not enough to follow up. Casino is seeing stars at this point. Both men make the slow crawl to their corners. Casino is first to reach his partner, and tags in Krenshov. Krenshov grabs Ravager by the leg... But Ravager hits an enziguri! Krenshov is stunned, and Ravager tags in Evan Cartwright! And it's fitting that it's a hot tag, cause the champ is on FIRE! Perfect Uppercut to Krenshov! Krenshove stumbles a bit. Roaring elbow to Krenshov! ... the knees are a little wobbly here. Cartwright with a kick to the knee, Krenshov hobbles and cartwright hits the Diamond dust! Krenshov is down! Cartwright with a cover! One... Two... Casino makes the save! And now Ravager is in! And he's got his hands on Casino! He's ready to lay in... JACK JONES: The Devastator is here! Kurt Castle races to ringside to help out his fellow Untouchables. He gets on the ring apron, only to be punched in the mouth by Ravager. Casino dropkicks Ravager out of the ring to the floor! Havok and Potts lay in with boots to the downed Ravager, and Castle comes over to deliver some punishment as well. In the ring, Casino and Krenshov get ready to double team Cartwright. Krenshov holds Cartwright as Casino hits the ropes and goes for an uppercut... Cartwright slips out of Krenshov's grip, and casino nails his partner... Well, Krenshov doesn't even budge. Casino offers a hasty apology, Krenshov doesn't appear too mad... Until Cartwright dropkicks Casino into him. Outside the ring, Castle is laying in some stiff shots to Ravager. He gorilla presses Ravager, looking to injure him the same way he did Patrick Kidd... but Ravager gets a thumb into Castle's eye, drops down behind, and hits the Last Resort! It took a lot out Ravager hitting that move on the big man, but he got it done! Ravager slips back into the ring to help Cartwright, as they again decide to double team Krenshov. Havok tossess a chair into the ring, Sharplin is being distracted by Potts... BILL HEWSON: This match is totally out of control! It's five on two out here! And even then, Ravager and Cartwright are holding their own! JACK JONES: Yeah, but there's no title on the line here, Hewson! Things will be different at Cold Snap! Casino goes for the chair... Cartwright gets it first! Casino backs off, and bumps into Ravager! Ravager looks like he's going to hit the Last Resort on Casino! Krenshov with a forearm to the back of Ravager's head! Ravager lets go of the full nelson. Cartwright swings at Casino, who ducks... And smacks Ravager square in the face. Ravager is now busted wide open, and is knocked to the outside. Cartwright stops for a brief second... and a second is all Kenny Krenshov needs. Krenshov nails Cartwright with a big boot! Cartwright is down! Krenshov hauls the NAPW champion back up! TOTAL ECLIPSE! Sharplin breaks away from Pott's distraction to make the pin count! One... Two... THREE! FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners, the team of Chris Casino and Kenny Krenshov! BILL HEWSON: Kenny Krenshov has scored a huge upset over the NAPW champion! JACK JONES: You might say The Untouchables night... was perfect. What a great night for Krenshov! But it's Casino who's acting like he won. Collecting the groggy Kurt Castle and the managers, The Untouchables make their triumphant march back to the locker room. Casino is all smiles, as he points out how much smarter he is that Ravager, Cartwright, the Canadian fans.. well not the one who just jumped the railing (security! DO your (bleeping) job!)
But in the ring, the bigger story unfolds. Cartwright is gingerly getting to his feet, where a bloody Ravager is there to meet him. The two participants in the NAPW title match a Cold Snap are eye to eye. Ravager is furious. Cartwright is sorry, but not apologetic for trying to win at all costs. Shoving ensues as referees and officials step in to break up yet another melee. The last shot we see on Tuesday Night Fights is Ravager, his face a crimson mask, shouting at Cartwright, who holds up the NAPW title belt, telling him it's not that long until February 7th...
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