TUESDAY. NIGHT. FIGHTS.02/20/2007
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is a tag team match, and it is scheduled for one fall to a finish... Man, it's Metallica, and you know it's "Don't Tread On Me", and you also know what that means - but Frank's got the official word! FRANK WARBURTON: Hailing from Wickliffe and Paduca, Kentucky respectively, and weighing in tonight at a combined weight of 545 lbs, this is "The Angry American" Matthew Kurtis and "The Show" Chad Kurtis... This is TEAM! KURTIS! Big ol' Matthew Kurtis and his brother Chad enter the ring to a good reception - these boys are getting over son! Cue "Bullet With A Name On It", and cue a slightly less welcome reception. And once again, cue Frank Warburton. FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents weighing in tonight at a total combined weight of 399 lbs... This is the team of Marcus Chamberlain, and Maxx Extreme! JACK JONES: What's this, Team Tiny? Maxx and Marcus, they're like itty bitty mini-wrestlers in their with Matthew Kurtis! BILL HEWSON: Matthew Kurtis is six-eleven, three hundred and fifteen pounds of pure Angry American talent! JACK JONES: Very original, Bill. BILL HEWSON: Well it sure beats Team Tiny! JACK JONES: HUH? The referee calls for the bell, and it looks like it's going to be the biggest man in the match squaring off against young rookie Marcus Chamberlain. Chamberlain and Matthew tie up, but it's obvious this isn't a fair match up as Matthew just BEALS Chamberlain legitimately half way across the ring! Marcus is up quick though, only to run into a nasty looking big boot! Chamberlain clutches his jaw - he's got a bit of Josh Reynolds syndrome right about now, and believe me, it AIN'T nice! Matthew picks Marcus up, irish whip across the ring, back off the other side, and... Matthew throws Chamberlain up, high into the air, and --- RANA! Marcus Chamberlain out of nowhere with a hurricanrana! BILL HEWSON: TREMENDOUS counter by Marcus Chamberlain. Hey, he's no slouch you know! JACK JONES: Great move, I've got to give him that! I don't think I'll give him much else, though. Matthew Kurtis looks completely disoriented, as he turns into a boot to the midsection - Marcus applies a front face lock, dragging the big man into the corner... he's going for the Tornado DDT.. AND CONNECTS! Matthew Kurtis's head just bounced off the mat on that one! Chamberlain with a cover, and a one, a two, and no dice on the three! Chamberlain glares at the referee, but the count was fair! Chamberlain picks Kurtis up, and he just SLAPS Kurtis across the face, and -- oh god, he just woke the big man up! Matthew Kurtis, he just had the taste slapped outta his mouth, and by god, he had the cobwebs slapped from his head! Matthew Kurtis with a goozle on Chamberlain! He's got him by the throat, and there's only one outcome here ... LOW BLOW!! Marcus Chamberlain with a desperation low blow! Chamberlain claiming to the referee that he caught Kurtis in the thigh but... well, you saw it! The referee still admonishing Chamberlain, but he's going to let this one go! BILL HEWSON: Wow! Chamberlain said he didn't give a crap about Team Kurtis, but that was uncalled for! JACK JONES: Hey, would YOU want to get chokeslammed by that man?! BILL HEWSON: No sir, but I'm paid to call the matches, not get in there and WRESTLE! Chamberlain picks Matthew Kurtis up... irish whip's the big man against the ropes -- BLIND TAG BY CHAD -- and connects with a superkick!! Matthew Kurtis goes down like a sack of potatoes, and Marcus goes for the cover - but he ain't the legal man, of course, and everybody knows it but him! Marcus and the referee having a debate here, as "The Show" stands behind his opponent, mocking him! Marcus turns round - STO! STO Takedown, and Chad Kurtis going NUTS on Chamberlain!! He is just LAYING them in, rights and lefts, rights and lefts! Chad picking Marcus up -- DDT! He snapped that one off! He is like a house o' fire right now! Chad with Marcus up by the hair, and here we go - whips him into one of the vacant corners! Taking him up to the top -- he's setting him up there, and this could be -- YES! FRANKENSTEINER!! Marcus Chamberlain is OUT! Chad with the cover! ONE, TWO, THR-- Maxx Extreme is in for the save! JACK JONES: I thought that was it, Bill, I thou --- what's he doing!? Maxx Extreme dragging Chamberlain to his corner! BILL HEWSON: He's not the legal man, but he's about to be! Maxx Extreme TAGS HIMSELF IN! JACK JONES: That's actually a smart move. I'm shocked. Maxx Extreme is in, and he's opening up on Chad! BUT CHAD FIRING BACK!! We've got a fight on our hands!! Chad and Maxx, they're throwing down in the middle of the ring! Chad, slightly bigger, slightly stronger, starts to get the advantage - but Maxx off the ropes, and MAN! Flying forearm to the temple! Chad is down! Maxx lifting Chad up, but Chad with a shot to the breadbasket! He just shut Maxx down, and now Chad looking to take over, throbbing headache and all! Front facelock applied... SNAP SUPLEX!! But look at Chad, he's up straight away, and he just leaps to the corner... BEST! MOONSAULT! EVER!! WOW!! He planted him! But Chad ain't done!! Chad dragging Maxx to his feet again... Looking for a piledriver maybe... NO! CK FINALE! BILL HEWON: Maxx just got PLANTED!! JACK JONES: Chad going for the cover, but here comes Marcus... The referee registers the one, and the two... Marcus charging... BUT MATTHEW OUT OF NOWHERE WITH THE BIG BOOT!! He just turned Chamberlain's light out, and you better believe that's a three!! Chad Kurtis has pinned Maxx Extreme! BILL HEWSON: They got 'em, Jack! Team Kurtis just put Maxx and Marcus down for the count! FRANK WARBURTON: Your winners of the match - CHAD... MATTHEW... TEEEAAAM! KUUUURTIIIIS! BILL HEWSON: Convincing victory tonight for Team Kurtis, who have had their share of problems with a one-time ally Nightmare in recent weeks. Man, Jack Attack, these two tough sons of guns looked fired up tonight. JACK JONES: Yeah, yeah, they looked good. Can't say the same for Maxx Extreme and Marcus Chamberlain. Speaking of... Marcus Chamberlain has already taken off, a look of frustration on his face. Maxx Extreme is regaining his bearings on the outside as Team Kurtis high-fives in the ring. Lyndsey gets in the ring as well, clapping as TNF takes a break.
BILL HEWSON: Frighteningly enough, I've had the same experience. JACK JONES: ... BILL HEWSON: ... In any event! Ladies and gentlemen, our next match is a... JACK JONES: Hold the phone, Hewson, look up in that balcony! The house spotlight looks to where the fans are to a balcony in the Armoury. Standing there is a gothic dressed man... BILL HEWSON: That's --- that's Sebastien Martyr! What's he doing here? Martyr seems to be unaware of the attention he's drawing... for a moment. Then he looks down over the fans and raises his arms up above his head in an "X" symbol, as though signifying future pain. With a whirl, he turns and vanishes from the balcony. BILL HEWSON: Certainly a very unusual man, Sebastien Martyr. He will be in action soon here in New Alberta Pro, one of the new roster additions made by Rex Caliber. Who we will hear from later tonight. But right now, let's get to what promises to be a helluva triple-threat match! FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is a Triple Threat Match! "Farther Away" by AkForty. From behind the curtain comes Jeff James, to a mixed reaction that errs slightly more on the side of cheers. He walks to the ring, looking as focused as ever. A quick hop onto the ring apron and then a slingshot over, and he's ready for action. FRANK WARBURTON: From Chicago Illinois, he is the longest reigning Television Champion in NAPW history, JEFF! JAAAAAAAMMMESSSS! ISOR quickly replaces the hip hop beat, and out comes Mr. Undefeated, the cocky NAPW rookie Jay O'Brien. The crowd lets him have it with a chorus of healthy boos, but you can just tell by the look on his face that he could care less what they think of him. FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing next, from Bradford, England, weighing in at two hundred twenty-eight pounds, he is undefeated in NAPW, JAAAAAAAY OOOOOOOO'BRIEEENN! Billy Talent's "Fallen Leaves" filters in next, and Johnny Rotten charges down to the ring, with Jeff Fox dragging ass behind him. He slides right in, and O'Brien rolls to the outside, starting with the mind games. FRANK WARBURTON: And now, the final competitor. From Wasaga Beach, Ontario,Canada! He weighed in at two hundred and five pounds, accompanied by Jeff Fox, JOOOOOOOHNNYYYYY ROTTEN! Sharplin orders O'Brien back into the ring, and he re-enters with a grin on his face. All three men move to the middle, and the trash talk starts - Rotten jawing at O'Brien, O'Brien jawing back - and James with a JUMPING SUPERKICK to O'Brien, sending him tumbling to the outside. Rotten quickly grabs James in a rear waistlock, but Jeff pulls of a quick standing switch - countered by a back elbow and snapmare from Rotten. Johnny quickly drops a leg and wraps James in a leg scissors. He squeezes on his neck a bit, but James is able to roll him over and get a quick one count before Rotten kicks out. Both men get to their feet but James brings Rotten down with a hard lariat. Standing Moonsault into a Double Knee MISSES, but James quickly springs to his feet only to be caught with a knee to the gut and DDT combo. Rotten moves back, and sizes him up - perhaps looking for a Shining Wizard? We'll never know, O'Brien darts in behind him and hits a briding German suplex for a two count! James is up, and goes for a flying elbow smash aimed at O'Brien, who sidesteps it - a rising Rotten takes the brunt of it right in the forehead. James turns around to get a stiff front kick to the side, but he fires back with one of his own, and follows up with another one. O'Brien takes it in stride and delivers a stiff, heavy chop to James, and chops him into the corner. James fires a knee to his stomach in the corner to back him out, and hops to the middle rope - flying front dropkick connects with O'Brien's chest! Rotten springs up and surprises James with a Table Top Suplex. James lands with a thud, right beside O'Brien. Rotten sees his opportunity, and runs the ropes to hit a springboard moonsault on BOTH men! Rotten wastes no time and picks up O'Brien for a scoop slam. Rotten then climbs the turnbuckle, he's looking to end this right here! He flies off, here he comes with a 450 SPLASH ON JAMES - CONNECTS! COVER GETS ONE, TWO, JUST TWO! The crowd with a round of applause for the well executed high-rish move, but this one ain't over yet. O'Brien is up now, and he's stalking Rotten from behind. Rotten hears him coming and turns - too late as he gets nailed with an enziguri - the same move that knocked him out last month! He crumples to the ground in a heap, and O'Brien stands over him, wiping his hands together. James is up to his feet now, and charges O'Brien - Jay with an awesome counter into an STO! Awesome Andy's kid brother sets back on his knees and gives a cocky look to the crowd, drawing some more boos from the Reginites. BILL HEWSON: I can't think of another wrestler that has made such a point to get in the bad books of the NAPW faithful as Jay O'Brien has. JACK JONES: These fans don't even deserve Jay O'Brien. They should be thanking him just for wrestling in front of them tonight. O'Brien pulls James up to his feet, and puts him right back down with a Russian Leg Sweep. A lazy cover only gets barely two, and O'Brien looks a bit miffed about it. He turns to Sharplin, but the ring veteran hears none of it. O'Brien is in his face, and uses the word "wanker" several times, (whatever that means) - not seeing a Rotten creeping up behind him! Johnny picks him up for a back suplex, and he's holding him up there to make the blood rush to his head - and James gets up to pick ROTTEN up for a back suplex of his own, amazing lifting both men, with a some amount of struggle. BOOM! All three men crash to the mat, and the crowd cheers the display of power from James. He nips up, and waits for a Rotten to stumble to his feet before taking him out with a leg sweep and nailing his patented double-leg moonsault! He covers, but it's broken up by O'Brien at two. O'Brien and James trade some punches back and forth, with James eventually getting the upper hand and catching him up against the ropes. He goes for an irish whip, but O'Brien counters and sends him into the ropes - SUPERKICK is ducked by James, who springboards off the ropes and hits another jumping superkick, POW RIGHT IN THE KISSER! Rotten tries to steal the pin from James, but the former TV champ yanks Rotten off and goes for the pin himself - and Rotten manages to grab O'Brien out from under him and go for the cover himself - ONE! TWO....KICKOUT! BILL HEWSON: Johnny Rotten turns it into a Boston Crab! The momentum is his! Rotten takes O'Brien right over, using his own kickout against him to trap him in a boston crab near the ropes. O'Brien screams in pain, and stretches for the ropes..he can't reach! James sees his chance and dashes to the corner, springs to the top and turns in the air to NAIL Rotten with a bulldog to break up the crab! James with a pin - he only gets two and a half, but it was SO close! James can't believe it, and he picks Rotten up - JAMES EFFECT! Both men are down, all James has to do is roll over and he'll get the win - Fox jumps to the turnbuckle! What's he doing, he doesn't belong there and he knows it! Sharplin turns his back to the action and orders him to get down, which he does once he sees his man stirring. James looks pissed and starts heading after Fox! O'Brien is up behind Rotten and hits a Tiger Suplex! Bridge cover! One, two, James turns and breaks it up in the nick of time! O'Brien gets to his feet and hits a few stiff, nipple-scarring chops to open James up - for a tilt a whirl slam, look at the power on O'Brien! He covers, but again it's just two! Rotten gets up and spins O'Brien around, and decks him with a hard right hand! Boom, boom, and a spinning kick to the gut ala Sabin doubles O'Brien over - gutwrench suplex into a backbreaker! Rotten holds him steady, and turns him around to hit a chestbreaker in quick succession! James is up behind him, and Rotten turns right into a Side Effect! That could do it, here's the pin! One, two, thre-NO! He just barely kicked out, but Rotten kicked! O'Brien rolls outside, it looks like he's hurt his ribs a bit after that chestbreaker. James slowly gets up, and picks Rotten up to his feet. A spinning heel kick wipes Johnny out, no cover from James though. He heads to the corner, and ascends the turnbuckle. Looks like he's trying to end this match right now! He signals to the sky - and gets shoved off and crashing to the mat by Jay O'Brien! Jay hops over the top rope, and picks Rotten up - Death Valley Driver! He goes for the cover now - One....two.....KICKOUT! O'Brien slaps the mat three times and stares a hole into Sharplin's chest, but Sharplin stands his ground. BILL HEWSON: Get your head in the game, kid! O'Brien gets up, and measures Rotten as he rises. Johhny gets up slowly - James with a lariat takes O'Brien right over the top! It looks like he hit his head there, I think O'Brien is out of this thing! James stands over him, taunting - and turns right around to get a overhead belly-to-belly suplex! James pops right up on impact, a little dazed - he ducks a super kick attempt by Rotten, and hits one of his own to drop him like a bad habit. Sharplin checks on Rotten, his eyes are glazed over and it looks like he may be unconscious. James doesn't care, he heads to the top and it might be time for a Shooting Star Leg Drop! Sharplin is in the way, and James yells for him to move - wait a damn minute! Jeff Fox just went on the apron and shoved James off! He hit his head hard, this isn't right! Sharplin didn't see it, James didn't see it - Rotten didn't even see it, and he looks confused as hell as he comes to and sees James lying on the mat. But he's not about to let this one slip away, and he quickly picks James up and hits a Cradle Piledriver! One, two, three! FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner, JOHNNYYY ROTTTTTEENNNNNN! BILL HEWSON: Johnny Rotten gets his win back from earlier tonight, and that means... Jay O'Brien is no longer undefeated! JACK JONES: What? Jay O'Brien wasn't pinned or submitted, he didn't lose nothing. And I bet he'd agree with me. BILL HEWSON: Of course he would. There's a handshake between Jeff James and Johnny Rotten... nice display of sportsmanship there. Jeff Fox gets in the ring and raises his man's arm high in victory. The fans boo Fox a little bit, but not one of the wrestlers noticed Fox's little cheat. On the outside, Jay O'Brien is furious. The fans near the aisle egg him on... what's next for Jay O'Brien?
And it's a MEGA-pop for the one, the only, the long-missed... REX CALIBER! The crowd pops pig for the new owner of NAPW as the two-time NAPW Champion comes to the ring in jeans and a classic "REX CALIBER FOR PRIME MINISTER" t-shirt. He's got a six-pack in one hand, and a bag in his other. He hops into the ring and tosses the duffel bag down, grabbing a beer from the six-pack. REX CALIBER: Well damn it's good to hear that again. Now let me just say this --- there ain't no party like a CRIMES party and a Crimes party don't stop. This is the 245 lb shithammer live and in color, accept no imitations, REX CALIBER is in the house bitches! JACK JONES: You know, NAPW was really a much cleaner place with out Caliber... BILL HEWSON: Quiet, you. The crowd continues to chant "REX, REX, REX". Caliber looks almost sheepish, but grins and holds up a beer. "CHUG, CHUG, CHUG." Rex obliges. JACK JONES: HE'S RUINING NEW ALBERTA PRO FOREVER! REX CALIBER: Alright now! That's one helluva good brew and you know, it's good to be back in a New Alberta Pro ring as myself. I want to say thanks to Mr. Canada (big wink) for kicking ass and taking names. Wherever the maple leaf is threatened, Mr. Canada will be there. Jack Jones' audible sobbing is ... uh... audible. REX CALIBER: But you know I know none of you came and paid for a ticket to see this bald adonis talk out my ass for minutes. You didn't come here to see Rex Caliber... get involved in all the matches, and screw people out of title shots, and all around stick my damn moustache where it don't belong. Well, maybe some of you ladies want to know all about the moustache, and you can ask me all about later in the hotel room. REX CALIBER: So we just got a little business to take care of and we'll get back to some damn wrestling. We've got Next Generation vs The Famous Monsters (pop), that cat Simply Beautiful taking on ol' Lloyd Rees (POP, boo to Lloyd)... a big six-man main event! And you know what else we got tonight? We got BRUCE THE BEAST RICHARDS vs one-half of th' tag champions STONE ZELLOR. JACK JONES: Now that's some good news! D-X is NO MORE! BILL HEWSON: Unfortunately at Cold Snap, D-X lost a title match and lost the right to team together ever again, thanks to a stipulation inserted by former owner Joseph Winchell. REX CALIBER: Speaking of The Beast... you know I'd like to do something right now. Richards! Roberts! I know you're back there, and I want you to come to the ring right now! PLAY THAT MUSIC! Low hits...Bruce Richards comes out and makes his way down the ramp. His beard is back, and it's GLORIOUS! But where's Kyle Roberts? Bruce is handed a mic by a member of the ring crew as Rex resumes talking. REX CALIBER: Bruce, good to see you, have a beer! It's on me. BRUCE RICHARDS: No thanks, Rex, I'm performing tonight. I've got to keep my wits about me when it comes to Stone Zellor. REX CALIBER: Fair enough. Where the hell's that tag partner of yours? BRUCE RICHARDS: Well, I've been trying to get a hold of him for the past two weeks, but he's not answering my messages. I'm guessing he's feeling guilty about hitting me with that steel chair during our title match. REX CALIBER: He thinks it's because of him that D-X can no longer compete as a tag team? BRUCE RICHARDS: You'd have to ask him. Like I said, I haven't seen him since that Tuesday. REX CALIBER: You see, this is what I'm talking about when I say that Joey Winchell couldn't manage a successful federation if God himself handed it to him on a silver platter. Don't get me wrong, this company saw some awesome wrestling moments in the past eight months, but that's only because of the (BLEEP) talent that the NAPW offers. BRUCE RICHARDS: I couldn't agree with you more, Rex. REX CALIBER: You see, having the New and Improved D-X compete is simply good business. You and Kyle were the best tag team that this world has ever seen! Five time NAPW tag champs! You went out there and brought us back a Major Championship Wrestling trophy against some of the fiercest competition that you can get in this business! Bruce "The Beast" Richards and Stylin' Kyle Roberts were named the top tag team in wrestling by critics and wrestling fans alike! Hell, you even beat the Crimes to win those belts back, and that's something no other team can claim! And when you're able to beat Rex Caliber and Static in the bloodiest, most brutal ladder match I've ever had, well, that's pretty much what convinced me how good you two are together. Bruce Richards smiles as the crowd chants "Dee Ex Rules! Dee Ex Rules!" REX CALIBER: So what if I were able to kill a ruling made by the former owner and commissioner? What if I decided to reunite the New and Improved D-X? Tag team legends, back together? Would you be up for that? BRUCE RICHARDS: Rex, performing for these fans with Kyle is the greatest honour a man can have. REX CALIBER: So, Kyle Roberts, wherever the hell you are, I'm not demanding you come to this ring. I'm just asking you as a friend. Come on down here! Kyle Roberts finally comes out on the ramp, wearing jeans and a Nike shirt, holding a wireless microphone. He looks like a wreck. He hasn't shaved. No, that's not much of a surprise, but he's even more hairy than normal. He's still got the white goatee framed by his stubble, and his brown roots are showing in his bleached hairstyle. JACK JONES: That's the guy who was part of the so-called "greatest tag team?" He's a bum! REX CALIBER: What do you say, Kyle? Are you and Bruce going to continue the dynasty of D-X? KYLE ROBERTS: You think that the D-X dynasty will be able to go on? If I screw up again, there's another loss for the best tag team ever! You know what I think, Rex? I don't think I deserve to be a tag team champion! BRUCE RICHARDS: Kyle, stop talking nonsense. There's no deserving to be a part of D-X, you and I ARE the New and Improved D-X. KYLE ROBERTS: Bruce, I lost us the titles. I slammed you in the head with a steel chair! BRUCE RICHARDS: It was an accident! How were you to know that Clint Zellor would duck? KYLE ROBERTS: It's my JOB to know that, Bruce! "Kyle Roberts is smarter than you," remember? If I didn't brain you, we would have kept those tag team titles! I'm not sure if I'm WORTHY of being your partner, Bruce. BRUCE RICHARDS: Come on, you've screwed up worse than that before. It was a loss, sure. So what? We've lost before. We'll just do what we always do, pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and get right back in there. KYLE ROBERTS: We can't team up anymore, Bruce! Joey made sure of that! It's not just a matter of renaming ourselves and moving on, he stipulated that Kyle Roberts and Bruce Richards would not team up again! REX CALIBER: You're forgetting something, Kyle. Joey's not the owner anymore. I am. And, hell, if I say that Bruce and Kyle can team up again, who's going to stop you? BRUCE RICHARDS: What do you say, Kyle? Kyle Roberts looks torn. He looks at Bruce. He looks out at the fans. Some fans start shouting "Say yes! Say yes!" It's a cry that's taken up by every member of the live crowd. BILL HEWSON: Don't let it end like this, Kyle! Make the choice that everybody here wants. JACK JONES: That's right, just follow the crowd, Roberts. Go and ruin the tag division once more. Kyle picks up the mic, and a close-up shows how misty his eyes are. A cut shows Bruce nodding his head and smiling. KYLE ROBERTS: I-- I just can't. Not right now. I'm going to need to think about this. Kyle walks back through the curtain, and Bruce just curses under his breath. BRUCE RICHARDS: (calling out to the absent Kyle) Fine. If you want some more time, I'll give you that. Just, promise me you'll think about it. Bruce shakes the hand of Rex, and rolls out of the ring towards the back. REX CALIBER: I'm sure that Kyle will come to his senses and do what we all want him to do. NOW! That that piece of business is taken care of, I have one more we gotta get to. It's got to do with the very man that tried to break up the greatest tag team in the world today... you know I'm talkin' about Joseph Winchell. Crowd boos. REX CALIBER: I know how ya feel. That bastard ran me out of NAPW last summer. He's fired tons of talented wrestlers, he tried to break up D-X, hell, he's tried to cripple KRYENIK and DEATHROW every chance he's gotten with whatever bodies in his way. Joseph Winchell the third ain't no stitch on his old man "Wahoo" Bobby Winchell. So what I want right now... is for Mr. The Third to get his sorry ass out here... right now! There's no music, the crowd murmurs... and then from the curtain indeed steps the man. R. Joseph Winchell III comes out in street clothes, slowly, unhappy and looking like he hasn't been sleeping very well as of late. The crowd is merciless to the deposed owner, booing like crazy as Rex Caliber stares the man down with folded arms. Winchell breathes deeply, perhaps stealing himself for what is to come. He'd almost be noble if he weren't so pathetic. BILL HEWSON: I'm surprised Joseph is here in the slightest. He doesn't own NAPW anymore, he's not really needed. JACK JONES: I'LL always need Mr. Winchell. He's like the brightest burning star that fell too soon from the heavens. BILL HEWSON: ... you've been into the ether again, haven't you? JACK JONES: (holding a soaked rag to his nose) And how! Joseph gets into the ring. He gulps huge as Rex Caliber motions for quiet from the crowd. REX CALIBER: So what's up Joey? Been getting some exercise in retirement? Doing some business? Tanning that --- no, you're as pasty as ever. Ya don't like well man. What's going on? Rex puts the microphone out towards Joseph, who doesn't say a word or make a motion to grab it. He looks like a man on the verge of final defeat. REX CALIBER: Well okay, I'll do the talking. Y'see Joey, I can call you Joey, right? Anyways Joey, I've been doing a lot of work since I took over NAPW from you. Well, I got the right people to do the work anyways, you don't want me doin' any math. Where was I? Right, I saved Latin. And then I got to own the damn NAPW, the place that brought me fame, fortune and these great fans. But Joey you see I found some stuff out. REX CALIBER: Now you said to everybody that you were going to run NAPW better than your old man ever could. And I'm going to give you some credit here. It was YOU who took NAPW to Pay-Per-View for the first time. Hey that's true, no way around it. You did some good stuff. Took NAPW to new cities and really raised the exposure of the place. So all in all, if it wasn't for that "insane vendetta" thing at the end you did a pretty good job.
REX CALIBER: The only problem with all of that is that you (BLEEP)ing ran NAPW damn near into bankruptcy, you jackass! You took hundreds of fans on a spur of the moment Alaskan Cruise! You put NAPW onto PPVs that barely broke even! You FIRED wrestler after wrestler to get your jollies, but every single wrestler you fired? You had to pay their contract out. Starting with me, and on and on. You suspended one of the most popular teams in NAPW, the CELTIC ASSASSINS with a legal stipulation so complex my lawyers ain't even got around it yet to bring Thoes & O'Brady back into NAPW! You almost killed NAPW! REX CALIBER: That's why I came back, Joey. That's why MR. CANADA had to get involved. Because dammit Joey, Sexy Rexy loves New Alberta Pro Wrestling (pop)! I got the money to keep NAPW alive and kicking Joseph, even if things are going to have to change. But you almost killed the best damn thing in Edmonton with your stupid spending! I wasn't goin' to let that happen, and besides somebody needed to end your reign of idiocy. Joey looks furious. Rex looks intimidating. REX CALIBER: But the thing is, I'm not gonna do you like you did me. And ladies, be assured he didn't do me in that way, but I will gladly do any double-D blondes in attendance later tonight at Casa Rexa Regina. So Joey... last thing I want to see is you on the street. BILL HEWSON: What's Rex talking about? REX CALIBER: Joey... I'm going to give you your old job back. BILL HEWSON: WHAT? Joey looks confused, and then Rex Caliber whips up the duffel bag. Suddenly Joey's face contorts in horror. Rex Caliber unzips the bag and pulls out... THE BAD BOY SINGLET. REX CALIBER: NAPW just wouldn't be the same without "BAD BOY" JOEY MALONE! What about it, Joey? The crowd is loving it as Joseph looks on in horror, confusion, uncertainty. He reaches out---ooh, pulls the hand back. He resists, he's going to leave the ring... But he can't leave NAPW. He can't leave the only place he's ever had an identity. R. Joseph Winchell III... Reaches out and takes the singlet. JACK JONES: Nooooooooooooo! IMMEDIATELY, "Bad Boys" (COPS theme) starts up. Joey looks on the verge of tears as Rex Caliber throws an arm around his shoulder. The crowd is eating this up. Rex motions for the music to stop and pulls the mic to his face again as Joey holds the singlet in his frozen hands, eyes welling up in pain. REX CALIBER: Now Joey, I ain't just gonna put you back at the bottom of the card. You've come a long way. So I tell you what. I'll make sure "Bad Boy" Joey Malone is in the thick of things here in NAPW... Rex grins. REX CALIBER: All you have to do? Win the match you're going to have RIGHT... NOW! Crowd pops huge as Joey suddenly becomes animated. "WHAT? WHAT MATCH? AGAINST WHO? WHAT ARE YOU---" Four cellos. JACK JONES: Oh noes! BILL HEWSON: Here he comes! PATH. BILL HEWSON: "Bad Boy" Joey Malone just has to win this match... this match against the NAPW CHAMPION! RAVAGERRRRR! Ravager steps through the curtain, cool as can be. The crowd pops for the white-collar assassin, the coldest man in wrestling, the shooter, the silencer, the Last Resort. Ravager makes the walk to the ring with the NAPW title around his waist, adjusting the tape on his wrists as he bores down on Joey. The "Bad Boy" takes off his shirt and gets ready for Ravager. The Champion gets in the ring and stands in the center, arms out to the sides... JOEY WITH A LOWBLOW! That stuns the champion! DING DING DING there's the bell! BILL HEWSON: Joey Malone got Ravager with a shot to the groin before the match was underway and WAITAMINUTE! Jones, it's the BAD BLASTER! JACK JONES: JOEY MALONE IS THE NAPW CHAMPION --- OH, GOD! BILL HEWSON: JOEY MALONE IS BUSTED WIDE OPEN! Joey's "X-Factor" connected, but unfortunately for him... Ravager got right off the damn canvas. He waits patiently for Joey to stop gloating to the fans. Bad Boy turns around... and freaks out as Ravager stands right in front of him. Joey begs off HEADBUTT. Ravager with a sudden, swift, vicious headbutt that busts open Joey's eyebrow! Joey gets up HEADBUTT. Ravager with... SNAP suplex! With Joey down, Ravager then delivers a diving headbutt from the standing position, knocking Joey for another loop. He covers ONE, TWO, and... Ravager picks Joey up, shaking his head. Ravager --- and this crowd --- remembers Joey's attempts to screw Ravager over. This is PAYBACK for months of bullshit from the former owner. Joey fires a few weak forearms at Ravager, then tries a clothesline --- Ravager quickly wraps around and locks on the full-nelson. Crowd IS ON THEIR FEET --- wait for it --- Joey struggles to get out, but Ravager gives the slightest hint of a grin as he cinches the full-nelson in more --- WAIT FOR IT --- LAST RESORT DRAGON SUPLEX! BOOM! ONE, TWO, THREE! FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner... RAVAGERRRRRRRRR! Rex Caliber drinks a beer on the outside and claps on as Ravager stands over a fallen "Bad Boy", shaking his head. He holds the NAPW title up as Tuesday Night Fights goes to commercial! BILL HEWSON: REX CALIBER IS BACK... AND SO IS THE BAD BOY! AND THE CHAMP IS HERE IN REGINA! We'll be right back!
!Oye, yo, Sakai y Santiago, mejores luchadores en el yo de mundo, los golpes de moonsaults y cuerpo, yo, meciendo fuera a la nueva mermelada del golpe, oye, yo es SAKAI Y SANTIAGO! FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, from Tokyo, Japan, and Mexico City, Mexico... weighing in at a combined three hundred and seventy-seven pounds, NEXT GENNNNNEEEERRRRRRRRR-RRRAAAAATIIOOON! With their new 'music' playing throughout the arena, Sakai and Santiago along with their manager extraordinaire, Leo Mack make their way out from behind the curtain. There's a somewhat bemused feeling flowing throughout the crowd as the international superstars hurriedly make their way to the ring. The brutal Latino rap ends promptly, being replaced by Metric's "Monster Hospital". BILL HEWSON: I don't think... the fans are taking to this new music quite the way Leo Mack had intended. FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents, from Parts Unknown, Transylvania and Haddonfield, Illinois ... Weighing in at a combined weight of five-hundred-and-sixty-five pounds THE FAMOUS MONSTERS OF HOLLLLLYWEEEEIRD! And it's Pop City in here tonight as the Famous Monsters Of Hollyweird appear in the aisle. Wolfboy howls to cheers from the fans as Frankie and Mikey slowly lumber to the ring. They step over the top rope and seemingly tower over their opponents - well Santiago anyway, as the excitement builds throughout the arena. BILL HEWSON: As usual, Next Generation give up a great deal of size and strength to their opponents. But Next Generation don't care how big an opponent is, they'll chop him down to size! The bell rings and it's on! The fans are on tenterhooks as Santiago wants to start this match off with Mikey. This doesn't bode well for the Mexican superstar as they lock up collar and elbow. Needless to say it's Mikey who gains the initial advantage as he powers Santiago towards the turnbuckle. John Sharplin calls for a break, which he quickly gets - and Santiago dives around the back of his opponent. Mikey turns around as the fiery Latino, well, fires off a couple of right hands. The big man seems to be taking the punishment, but only before delivering a thunderous head butt! Santiago gets straight back up, dodging the attempted lariat and countering with a basement dropkick to the back of Mikey's left knee. The big man falls to one knee as Santiago tags out to the powerhouse of the team, Sakai. Sharplin orders the little man out to the apron as Sakai enters the ring with a stiff looking martial arts kick to the chest. It manages to knock the big man down, but Mikey gets back to his feet before being sent into the nearest corner with an Irish whip. And Sakai is is on the case. He delivers several chops to the chest, but with that Shatner mask on you can't tell if it's hurting. The referee intervenes once more as Mikey is dragged from the corner and placed in an standing arm bar. Sakai wrenches once for good measure and he turns it into an high angle belly-to-back suplex to some cheers from the fans. Sakai drags his opponent towards the corner as he makes the tag back out to Santiago. And Mikey is held in place whilst Santiago leaps from the top rope with an axhandle smash to the midsection. JACK JONES: Five foot nothing but fast as lightning, I'll give the mexican some credit. BILL HEWSON: Next Generation need to use their speed and teamwork to their advantage, and stay away from the power of the Monsters --- ooh, Santiago got caught. But Mikey lashes out with a boot to the midsection, connecting fairly well. Santiago stumbles back as Mikey connects again. Body slam! And the big guy got a hell of a lot of power behind that move. The little Latino bounces back up off the mat, but Mikey has made the tag out to Frankie ... And he's as ready as he'll ever be. With a lurching step over the top rope, he enter the ring and damn near decapitates Santiago with a brutal clothesline. Not as brutal as Leo Mack's rap, but still bad. Sakai enters the ring in a hurry, but he's caught by a big boot. Mikey re-enters the ring as well as The Famous Monsters Of Hollyweird double team the Japanese member of Next Generation. Double DDT! Lateral press by Frankie ... But Sakai's not the legal man. JACK JONES: Well, you can't expect him to have a lot of brainnnnnnns. Frankie turns his attention to Santiago, who has used the ropes to get back to his feet. The big man slowly walks over, but Santiago is ready as he fires off a forearm shot - CAUGHT! Frankie pushes the forearm away, instead choosing to send his opponent against the ropes with an Irish whip - POWERSLAM! Lateral press! ONE! TWO! THR-Nooooo! And the crowd pops as Santiago kicks out. He can't be put away that easily. Frankie lifts the little guy back to his via a handful of mask before delivering a body slam this time. Leo Mack looks worried on the outside as Frankie 'runs' against the ropes, coming back with a leg drop - NOTHIN' BUT MAT! Santiago rolled out of the way, and the sprightly young chap is on his feet and about to hit a dropkick to the chest. Yes, he hits it. Frankie appears slightly stunned as he rolls out under the bottom rope. But that's not the place to hide when you're facing a luchadore. Santiago runs against the far ropes ... PLANCHA! Over the top rope, and straight into the arms of Frankie! The crowd can't believe it! And Santiago is driven into the steel turnbuckle before being rolled back into the ring before John Sharplin can even count to two. Santiago scurries along the floor to make the tag, which he does relatively easily as Frankie is still entering the ring. Sakai rushes into the ring, taking Mikey off the apron with running forearm before turning his attention back to Frankie. The monster is in the ring and ready as the Japanese superstar lashes out with a series of hard chops to the chest. An Irish whip follows as Frankie is sent across the ring - EXPLODER SUPLEX! SAKAI JUST TOOK THE BIG MAN DOWN! Pin attempt, ONE! TWO! Noooooo! Kick out by Frankie! But Sakai isn't done. He lifts the monster back up and goes for another Irish whip, but it's reversed. Sakai bounces off the ropes and straight into BRAINS... The power chin lock is locked on and the crowd is in a frenzy. Half are screaming "Don't Tap! Don't Tap!", while the other half are cheering The Monsters on. AND SAKAI REACHES THE ROPES! Frankie is forced to release the hold, so he tags out to Mikey. Only Sakai didnŐt see the tag, so he goes after Frankie again - allowing Mikey to catch him with The Blackest Eyes! And Sakai is hoisted up onto the shoulders of Mikey and locked in his version of the torture rack! John Sharplin is checking for the submission, but Sakai is battling on valiantly. Santiago is getting to his feet on the apron as his tag partner is enduring what must be agony. But he's not giving up! BILL HEWSON: We've talked about Santiago's heart, but Sakai isn't lacking in the determination department himself. I don't think he's going to give it up! Mikey releases the hold as he spies Santiago ascending to the top rope. However, he's not quick enough - naturally - as Santiago catches the big guy with a hurracanrana! The ring shook a little there. Sharplin appears to be allowing this as Santiago jumps back to the his feet -- CLEARING AWAY THE VILLAGERS! THAT DAMN NEAR TOOK HIS HEAD CLEAN OFF! Mikey is back on his feet as he watches his partner get Sakai ready for his finishing move ... Wait, Mikey is climbing to the top rope ... MONSTER MASH! Mikey rolls Sakai over for the cover, one! Two! Three! FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners, the FAMOUS MONSTERS OF HOLLYWEIRD! BILL HEWSON: Great match that was, and a surprising victory from The Famous Monsters. JACK JONES: They just beat a team that will challenge for the tag belts in a few weeks, that's got to put them near title contention. BILL HEWSON: But The Famous Monsters aren't evil, Jack Jones. Look, they're showing respect to Next Generation. Indeed they are. As much as Mikey just double-stomped (his way into the heart) Sakai for the three, he pulls him up. Sakai backs off, Santiago coming out. Santiago makes the sign of the cross over his heart and shakes the hands of both Monsters. Sakai bows. Frankie, arms forward, attemps to bow himself. Stiffly. Awkwardly. But he's trying. BILL HEWSON: The Famous Monsters just want to be accepted, and damn if Next Generation haven't done just that. Tough break for Leo Mack's team tonight, though... they'll need to build some momentum going into that tag title shot. When we come back, David Banks will be in action against Kevin Kodiak!
BILL HEWSON: Well I'll be bamboozled. FRANK WARBURTON:The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first weighing in at two-hundredy and twenty-three pounds from Greensboro, North Carolina...David Banks! "Never Gonna Get It" by Akon begins booming through the speakers and David Banks takes his time and emerges from behind the curtain much to the fans dismay. The jeering almost instantaneously begins and he simply laughs and spits at the fans who just explode! He finally makes it to the ring and slides in. He pays no attention to the crowd and doesn't even taunt. FRANK WARBURTON: And introducing second, his opponent from Salmon River, British Columbia, weighing in at two-hundred and sixty-two pounds he is...Kevin Kodiak! "Frankenstein" by Edgar Winters Band replaces Akon and out comes the massive Kevin Kodiak. Kodiak wastes no time and climbs into the ring staring David Banks down. The bell sounds and it's on. Kevin Kodiak and David Banks walk to the center of the ring and the size difference is incredible! David Banks smiles and BLAM! Hard right square on the jaw of Kodiak. Kodiak simply laughs and mushes David Banks who reels into the ropes. Kodiak goes to capitalize but the two lock up collar-elbow style. David Banks is easily over powered but sticks a thumb to the eye of Kodiak. Kodiak turns his back holding his eye and chop block takes Kodiak to a knee. Kick to the face! Kodiak falls to his back and Banks begins stomping on the shoulders and neck. David Banks stops and hits the ropes...Jumping Kneedrop to the neck of Kodiak. Banks then locks in a headlock in an attempt to drain the life from Kodiak. But Kodiak simply pushes himself to his feet and hits Banks with a back body drop. Kodiak then stomps the repeatedly on the leg of David Banks. Banks manages to escape and use the ropes to get back to his feet. Kodiak rushes and Banks sends him tumbling out of the ring! Banks follows almost immediately and drops a knee onto the neck of Kodiak before lifting him to his feet and sending him into the steps. JACK JONES: You see that, Hewson? Banks is relentless! He's just softening Kodiak up for the Charismatic Crossface! BILL HEWSON: Referee wants him to bring it back in the ring... Morgan Smythe is heard screaming eight and Banks slides in then right back out before going back onto the offensive. He grabs hold of Kodiak and sends him shoulder first into the ring post again and again and again...Banks then rolls Kodiak into the ring and climbs to the top rope...Midcard Killer! CONNECTS WITH KNEES! Banks bounces off screaming in pain as he holds his midsection and rolls around. Kodiak gets enough time to get a breather then makes his way to a recuperating David Banks. Kodiak grabs hold of Banks and launches him into the corner...And here comes a flurry! Hard lefts and rights to the face and midsection of David Banks. Kodiak is relentless and each hit comes harder then the last before Morgan Smythe breaks the two up. David Banks walks forward a few steps before falling flat on his face. Kodiak still steaming stomps the head of David Banks into the mat. He then lifts him to his feet and drops him with a huge vertical suplex. Kodiak is going for the Bear Trap! AANNDDD...LEGION hits the ring! Legion goes for a running clothesline, its ducked! Kodiak sends Legion flying over the top rope. David Banks is up, but Kodiak is off the ropes --- holy hell what a lariat! Northern BC lariat, you could call it! Cover gets one, two, three! FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner, Kevin Kodiak ---* BILL HEWSON: Now just a damn minute! Kodiak picks up the win but Legion is back in and clothesline takes Kodiak to the mat! Legion grabs hold of Kodiak and LEGIONARRE LOCK! Legion doesn't look like he's planning to let go anytime soon! But here comes security! But Legion still isn't letting go! They manage to pull him off though, just in the nick of time. Kodiak was about to become seriously injured. These two men go at it in a big grudge match just one week from now!
Public Enemy's "Son Of A Bush" kicks up and out stalks the The Beast in his duster and cowboy hat. The crowd chants "D-X, D-X"... The Beast looks focused, the rage ready to be unleashed. Bill Fleming is behind him, apparently still managing Bruce. Can the same be said for Kyle Roberts? FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by Clint Zellor and Papa Z... one half of the NAPW Tag Team Champions! From Staten Island New York... STONNNNE ZELLLLOR! Bang bang. To the Rock & Roll. The white pimp struts out with his brother and pops, tag title belt around the waist. The crowd lets the Midnight Cowboys know what they think of them. Stone makes a point to wave the tag belt in front of The Beast's face before handing it off to the timekeeper, smirking. BILL HEWSON: Obviously Stone has back-up in his corner in the form of big brother Clint. Stylin' Kyle Roberts emotionally confused earlier tonight, he is not in Bruce's corner even though the no-team stipulation has been repealed. JACK JONES: Maybe D-X really IS over! Oh, it would be a sweet dream. BILL HEWSON: You were once their biggest supporter. Nonetheless, The Beast can gain some measure of revenge here tonight against the men who beat him and Kyle for the tag belts. There's the bell, this is underway. The Beast and Stone lock up, which is... something of a mismatch. Stone gives up ninety-nine pounds to one pissed off Beast, who manhandles Stone onto the mat with a rough shove. Stone gets up, complaining to the referee about Beast pulling hair. The referee doesn't buy it. Stone gets up, offering a handshake? The Beast snorts, clearly distrusting. Stone says "Come on baby, it's all good betweens us!" Such a white boy tryin' to be black (P-I-M-P, what's what spell?). The Beast... reaches out and shakes Stone's hand YANK! And then yanks Stone into a huge short-arm clothesline. Crowd loves that. A shaken Stone gets up on rubber-legs, turns around, and gets hoisted onto the shoulders of The Beast. It will be the Chart Attack to a huge response, but Stone rakes the eyes and slides out behind The Beast. Mule kick to the ass sends Bruce headlong into the turnbuckle. He stumbles out then gets RAMMED right back in by a charging Stone, throwing his entire body at Bruce's back in a Stinger-type splash. Stone pauses to yell at the damn crowd and remind them that: "I got SKILLZ, bitch." Papa Z waves his picket sign in affirmation as Clint slaps the mat, yelling to keep on him. Stone turns Bruce around and opens up with some knife-edge chops. Irish whip, but Bruce puts on the brakes. Stone boots the gut, then tries it again, still Bruce refuses to budge...Stone with a short dropkick to the knee out of nowhere. So fast. Bang bang baby. Stone pulls Bruce out and to the ropes. Irish whip, discus clothesline puts Bruce down for a two count. Stone looking for some hot action now, snapmares Bruce down, then hits a soccer kick to the small of the back. Bruce winces in pain as Stone hits the ropes and drops a dropkick to the face. With The Beast down, Stone goes up to the TOP ROPE. Bruce is getting up, Stone measuring his man. "SKILLZZZZZZ!" Missile Dropkick fires --- Bruce dodges out of the way! But Stone rolls with the landing and pops right back up to his feet, unloading a LETHAL PIMP SLAP. The Beast is stunned. Stone shucks and jives, and then unloads another one. Except not. Because The Beast catches Stone's wrist in his crushing grip. The look on his face? Faster pussycat. Kill. KILL. The Pimp Slap just lit a FIRE in Bruce Richards, and THE BEAST is coming out! Bruce goozles Stone and lifts the man up, chokeslam! A cover, Stone gets the shoulder up. Bruce grabs Stone with both hands and yanks the man back up to the feet. WITH AUTHORITY irish whip sends the tag champion into the rops, Stone holds on, but Bruce charges and knocks Stone out of the ring! Papa Z and Clint come to tend on Stone, but the crowd is on their feet as Bruce gets the ol' HEAD O'STEAM --- NO HANDS PLANCHA OVER THE TOP ROPE! That wipes out all three Zellors and Beast roars in triumph. Stone gets up, Bruce hoists the man up... CHART ATTACK! Wait a minute! Stone's feet end up in the referee's face, the ref goes down. Bruce sees that and drops Stone to get the ref up. Meanwhile, Clint Zellor gets in the ring with a STEEL CHAIR. Oh noes! Just like at Cold Snap! Fleming comes in the ring but he gets a big boot for his troubles! BILL HEWSON: TURN AROUND BEAST! TURN AROUND! JACK JONES: It's over, Hewson --- what? Not him! NOOOOO! Cue Stylin' Kyle Roberts! He hits the ring at a sprint-slide, grabbing the chair from Clint's hands! Clint turns around BANG. Chair shot to the head! Clint goes down and Kyle flashes Bruce the thumbs up! Here comes Stone Zellor, Bruce ducks, Kyle nails a Styleskick! Stone staggers... Back on Bruce's shoulders! You guessed it, it's a CHART ATTACK! Connects! The referee is aware enough to make the cover, and it's the three count for The Beast! FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner... BRUCE "THE BEAST" RICHARDS!" BILL HEWSON: Ladies and gentlemen, The New & Improved... New & Improved D-X! Stylin' Kyle Roberts has come to his senses! JACK JONES: This is the worst christmas ever. The Midnight Cowboys have retreated, tough loss this week --- but they're still the tag team champions. The real story is in the ring. The Beast and Stylin' Kyle embrace. The band is back together. Bill Fleming gets up, shaking hands with Kyle before raising the arms of each of his men. They've been through hell, they even had their legacy ruined by a power-mad dictator. But as Bruce, Fleming and Kyle raise their arms high, the fans know D-X is alive and well! BILL HEWSON: Rex Caliber has done the right thing. The New & Improved D-X, ladies and gentlemen! Fade to commercial. BILL HEWSON: WHAT --- NO! DON'T GO TO COMMERCIAL --- OH MY GOD! JACK JONES: This is the BEST christmas ever! BILL HEWSON: Ladies and gentlemen, STYLIN' KYLE ROBERTS JUST HIT BRUCE RICHARDS WITH A STEEL CHAIR! The chair never did leave his hands after he blasted Clint. Fleming looks on in shock at Kyle, who is wearing no emotion whatsoever. Fleming then gets it. BOOM. Chair shot. The Beast is getting up, face a mask of shock and betrayal. And Kyle raises the chair again... Wait. He seems to have second thoughts. BILL HEWSON: Thank goodness! Kyle Roberts seems to have second thoughts about what he's doing... he put the chair down! I don't know what just got into him, but --- Oh no. No, he's not back to his senses at all! JACK JONES: Well, well, well. The Man With The Blood On His Hands lives. Stylin' Kyle rolls out of the ring... and rips the ring bell from the timekeeper's table. He gets in the ring, where Bruce is back to his feet, blood streaming from his forehead. He turns around. And Kyle looks right in his eyes. Bruce is RAGED --- DING. Kyle dives with the ring bell directly into Bruce's forehead. DING. And now the ring bell is on the ring apron as Kyle looks on at the stunned crowd. He taps his head. Smirks sickly. "SMARTER THAN YOU." And then he turns The Beast over, and locks on the Bear-Tamer. He wrenches back on the bloodied, bell-rung Beast. His partner. His best friend. Five-Time tag team champions. Kyle rears back, wild expression on his face as he pulls and pulls, knee digging into Beast's back. Finally security hits the ring, led by Rex Caliber himself. They rip Kyle off of The Beast, Rex screaming "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MAN?" But it's too late. The damage has been done. Kyle Roberts lets security mob him, sick smirk still on his face. He taps his head again, then points to the fallen Beast. Best friends. Partners. Five-time tag team champions. Stylin' Kyle Roberts has thrown it all away, given it away. 'Judas.'
JACK JONES: Neither can I. But it's great! BILL HEWSON: How can you say that? Stylin' Kyle Roberts has betrayed a man who would --- and has --- gone to hell and back for him. And I want a damn answer! Why, Kyle, why? All these fans want to know... dammit, we may not get that answer tonight. JACK JONES: The show must go on, Hewson. But it's a much better show now. BILL HEWSON: I hate you. FRANK WARBURTON: This next match is scheduled for one fall... "Stone Cold Crazy" by Queen hits and the fans go crazy! FRANK WARBURTON: Coming to the ring first weighing in at two-hundred and thirty-five pounds and hailing from Staten Island, New York...Simply Beautiful! No smiles from SB tonight as he quickly makes his way down to ringside and slides into the ring under the bottom rope. BILL HEWSON: Simply Beautiful has been in a foul, foul mood since he was screwed over at Cold Snap by the missing in action Patrick Bickle. JACK JONES: He's in a foul mood because at Cold Snap, he tapped out to David Banks' CHARISMATIC CROSSFACE! Ha! BILL HEWSON: Lloyd Rees and his protege David Banks took the submission victory over Simply Beautiful at the Pay-Per-View. Tonight SB is looking for revenge! FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent accompanied by Ol' Salty, he weighs in tonight at two-hundred and forty-seven pounds and hails from Bell Island, Newfoundland...."The Lemondrop Kid" Lloyd Rees! "Fighting 59" by Harry Hibbs announces the arrival of Lloyd Rees. Lloyd and Ol' Salty emerge from the back and soak in the boos and jeers. As they make their way to the ring Lloyd looks into the camera and yells "I'm yer next champ!" BILL HEWSON: The crowd are not fans of "The Lemondrop Kid," and neither is Simply Beautiful. This match is so, so personal, both of these men have been at each others throats for weeks! JACK JONES: Pfffffffft who cares? Simply Beautiful is Simply Overrated! Our next Heavyweight Champion will twist him into a pretzel! As the duo approach ringside, SB slips out of the ring and charges them! Rees, still mugging for the camera, gets dropped by a clothesline and Ol' Salty takes off as if his tail was on fire! SB puts the boots to Rees as the referee leaves the ring and tries to get some kind of control to this mayhem! Simply Beautiful shoves aside the referee, pulls Rees to his feet and throws him against the ring barricade. SB rushes Rees only to take a back drop into the crowd! Totally ignoring the referees warnings, Rees crawls over the ring barricade looking for his foe. Fans part like the Red Sea as Rees pulls SB to his feet and hits him with a brutal reverse knife edge chop. Another skin searing chop has Simply Beautiful holding his chest in pain. Rees takes the Simply beautiful by the hair and tries to ram him head first into the ring barricade only to have it blocked! SB slams an elbow into the gut of Rees and then drives another one to the side of "The Lemondrop Kids" head! SB grabs an arm of Rees and Irish whips him into the barricade. As Rees struggles up to his feet he takes a running clothesline that sends him over the barricade and onto the arena floor next to ringside! BILL HEWSON: This is insane! The match has yet to officially begin and they're trying to kill each other! JACK JONES: What's that referee doing? We need more authority around here! SB climbs over the railing, pulls Rees to his feet and shoots him inside the ring. Simply Beautiful climbs in behind Rees and the referee calls for the bell finally making this match official! SB waits for Rees to get to his feet only so that he can tag him with quick left and right hands to the head! Rees falls against the ring ropes and Simply Beautiful follows him in only to take a thumb to the eye. Rees drives a knee into the ribs of SB, and follows up with a hangmans neckbreaker. Ol' Salty has returned to the ring area and is now yelling encouragement to Rees. Rees pulls SB to his feet and shoots him into the ropes nailing a perfect looking standing dropkick to the face! As SB lays on the mat holding his face Rees again mugs for the NAPW camera crew. Simply Beautiful gets to his feet and takes forearm shot across the back. Rees hooks SB and nails a high and tight belly to back suplex on the former Pure Honor Champ. Rees floats over for a cover but only gets a two count from the referee. Rees drags SB to his feet, scoops him up and slams him hard to the mat. Rees goes to the near turnbuckle and starts to make his way to the tope. As if he were playing possum Simply Beautiful springs to his feet and lands a punch to the gut of Rees just as "The Lemondrop Kid" makes it to the top turnbuckle! Rees shakes his head "no" but SB isn't hearing any of it as he hurls Lloyd Rees off of the top rope down to the mat! BILL HEWSON: Rees got caught on that one. JACK JONES: It's all a ploy to lure Simply Beautiful into a false sense of security Bill. Rees quickly scrambles to his feet only to take a shoulder block to the ribs that takes both him and SB to the mat. Simply Beautiful mounts Rees and starts to pound away at the head of "The Kid" with a crazed intensity! Ol' Salty climbs up onto the ring apron and tries to come into the ring causing the referee to try and get between him and the combatants. SB spots Ol' Salty and leaves Rees laying on the mat so that he can clock Ol' Salty with a vicious right hand to the head! Ol' Salty falls to the ring apron but gets hung up in the ring ropes causing the referees attention to be diverted from SB and Rees. As Simply Beautiful advances on Rees he takes a low blow that doubles him over! Wanting to make sure the first one took, Rees hits yet another low blow that drops SB like a bad habit. The referee has untangled Ol' Salty and turns around just as SB hits the mat in agony. Rees smiles at the referee and shrugs his shoulders. Rees drops a knee across the back of Simply Beautifuls head and rolls him over for a cover. Again he's only able to get a count of two. Rees pulls SB to his feet and while still holding one arm snaps off an impressive short arm clothesline. Again Rees goes for a cover and again manages only a two count. BILL HEWSON: Simply beautiful refuses to stay down! Rees pulls Simply Beautiful to his feet and sends him out to the floor by throwing him over the top rope. Rees rolls out of the ring and plants a boot to the side of SBs head as he tries to get up. Rees gestures to the ringside fans that the Heavyweight Title is soon to be coming home around his waist but gets nothing but boos and insults for his trouble. SB is back to his feet and Rees takes him by the arm and tries to Irish whip him into the steel ring steps. It's reversed at the last second and it's Lloyd Rees who goes plowing shoulder first into the steel steps! SB rolls quickly in, then out of the ring breaking the referees count. As Rees struggles to his feet, SB hooks him from behind and hoists him up for what looks like an atomic drop. Simply Beautiful however crotches Lloyd Rees onto the ring barrier! Paybacks are a bitch! The referee is outside now trying to get both men back inside but gets shoved away by SB who then hits a clothesline on the prone Rees taking him off of the barrier and down to the floor. SB is finally coaxed back into the ring by the referee as Ol' Salty runs over and checks on his man. Inside the ring SB sees an opening he can't resist and heads climbs to the tope of the nearest turnbuckle. JACK JONES: Oh no. I can't even watch. Bill tell me what happens. Ol' Salty helps Rees to his feet just in time for both of them to be flattened by a diving body block from Simply Beautiful! The crowd goes nuts at the high risk move and all three men lay in a heap on the outside. As the referee starts his count both Rees and SB slowly get to their feet. SB grabs Rees and rolls him into the ring and climbs up onto the ring apron himself. Simply Beautiful points to the turnbuckle and the fans greet this with a big pop. SB scales to the top and once again takes to the skies with his New York Nightmare! At the last possible second Rees moves and SB eats canvas! Rees drapes an arm across SB as the referee counts. Simply Beautiful just barely gets a shoulder up at two and both men look spent. As both men get to their knees they start trading punches neither man willing to give an inch. SB starts to get the better of the exchange before he takes a rake to the eyes. Rees gets to his feet, pulling SB up with him and snaps him to the mat with a suplex. Rees pulls Simply Beautiful into position, hits the ropes and nails him with his Fresh Water Flip maneuver! Again Rees goes for the pin but manages only a two and a half count! BILL HEWSON: What a back and forth match this has become! One of these men will have to be knocked out to lose! JACK JONES: Or choked out! get' em Lloyd! Rees is looking frustrated as he drags Simply Beautiful off of the mat. Rees shoots SB into the ropes and tries for The East End Drop! Simply Beautiful wiggles out and hits a modified tornado DDT on his way down to the mat! SB goes for the cover and this time it's Rees who kicks out! SB gets slowly to his feet, staggers to the near turnbuckles and goes for a BME! Rees gets his knees up and SB lands ribs first across them! As Simply Beautiful lays on the mat trying to regain his breath, Rees is holding his left leg in pain. Both men are slow to get to their feet but somehow it's Rees who beats SB to the punch. Rather the clothesline as Rees almost decapitates the popular star. Rees has had enough of SB for one night and tries to sink in his Conception Bay Chinlock! Simply Beautiful fights it but it's no use "the Lemondrop Kid" finally hooks it in! The fans start stomping their feet and clapping as SB does all he can to escape the move. Lloyd yelling for SB to "give up" but Simply Beautiful lunges out with his foot and it just barely touches the bottom rope! Ol' Salty runs over and knocks it off but the referee calls for the break! JACK JONES: What was that!? Talk about biased referees! If Joey was still in charge none of this would ever have happened! BILL HEWSON: Thank God that he isn't! Rees drags SB into the center of the ring and gets ready to go for the Conception Bay Chinlock again but Simply Beautiful lands a foot to the side of the head that stuns Rees momentarily. SB is trying to get to his feet when Rees advances and "The Lemondrop Kid" walks into an inverted atomic drop! Simply Beautiful hooks Rees and one Northern Lights suplex later he's covering the man for the pin! One, two, thr...No! Rees kicks out! The crowd start mumbling and come to their feet as "The Chairman of NAPW" David Banks is making his way to ringside. The referee also spots Banks and leans out of the ring yelling at "the Chairman" to keep out of the action. Ol' Salty takes this opportunity to slide into the ring and drop SB to one knee with a chop block! Ol' Salty rolls back out of the ring just as the referees attention returns to the in ring performers. Rees plants a stiff kick to the head of SB that sends him sprawling backwards onto the mat. Rees grabs the legs of Simply Beautiful and tries to lock in a Texas clover leaf but SB kicks his way out of it! BILL HEWSON: Simply Beautiful knows that he has to do something to get back into this! Again Ol' Salty climbs up on the ring apron and the referee gets in his face telling him to get back on the floor or his man will be DQ'd! On the opposite side of the ring, David Banks pulls aside the ring apron and pulls out a chair from under the ring. He passes it off to Rees and the former Heavyweight Champ looks ready to do some damage. He advances on Simply Beautiful and swings! SB ducks under the chair, waits for Lloyd Rees to turn around and - what the Hell! - he hits a SEXYKICK Van Daminator into the chair into Lloyd's face! Lloyd drops like he was shot and the SB quickly takes the chair and tosses it back out of the ring. JACK JONES: WHAT? Disqualify the man! He cheated! BILL HEWSON: Turnabout is fair play! Simply Beautiful goes for the cover and the referee just happens to turn his head at the right moment to catch the pin attempt. One, two and three! Simply Beautiful rolls out of the ring as David Banks and Ol' Salty slide in! FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of this match...SIMPLY BEAUTIFULLLL! BILL HEWSON: What a move! I've never seen Simply Beautiful do that before! JACK JONES: Rees just got robbed! I demand that Rex Caliber fix this! Simply Beautiful has rolled out of the ring, the crowd on their feet for the man. In the ring Lloyd Rees is getting up, dazed, falls back down as Banks and Ol' Salty try to help the man in. It's been a BAD NIGHT for Lloyd Rees and David Banks... Rees looks punch-drunk and dazed... as things go to commercial.
JAY O'BRIEN: Hey hold on a bloody minute. Did you see Jay O'Brien get pinned in that Triple Threat? JACK JONES: Heck no! BILL HEWSON: Well yeah but --- JAY O'BRIEN: Bill Hewson, did you see Jay O'Brien submit or tap out in the Triple Threat match? JACK JONES: I didn't see anything like that, did you Hewson? BILL HEWSON: Well no, but --- JAY O'BRIEN: If I didn't get pinned, and I didn't submit, and that wanker Johnny Rotten pinned Jeff James... then I ask you, was Jay O'Brien DEFEATED? BILL HEWSON: ... JAY O'BRIEN: That's what I thought. Rotten got a lucky pinfall on Jeff James while I was busy making sure the ring apron was on properly. BILL HEWSON: Well, that said, why are you out here? JAY O'BRIEN: Are you kidding? I'm the hottest new star in NAPW history, what kind of main event would it be without me? JACK JONES: Well Jay, I just have to say next week when you get your Provincial Title shot... Kurt Castle vs Jay O'Brien, that's one hell of a match. Speak of the devil. "Untouchables" by Scarface kicks up and... well, the crowd sure as hell will let you know. They hate them. They hate the men who step through the curtain. First of all, leading the way, the current Provincial Champion. A man full of hate. "The Devastator" Kurt Castle. Next, the largest man on the NAPW roster. A force of nature by the name of "The Colossal" Kenny Krenshov. Finally bringing up the rear: The Pure Honor champion. Chris Casino. And of course, Raul Havok and Eli Potts bringing up the management for their men. The quintet head to the ring as trash gets tossed their way. BILL HEWSON: The newly married Chris Casino, ladies and gentlemen. JACK JONES: The female population of Vegas was weeping. FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, the team of Chris Casino... "The Devastator" Kurt Castle... "The Colossal" Kenny Krenshov... THE UNTOUCHABLLLLLLES! BILL HEWSON: Boy, this crowd should say what they feel. JACK JONES: This hick Saskatchewan crowd wouldn't know greatness if it won a Gray Cup. Which it hasn't. For years. Eat it, Roughriders! The Untouchables are in the ring... but now it's time. OLD MAN GLOOM - "JAWS OF THE LION". BILL HEWSON: AND HERE ARE THE DOOOOOOOMRIDERS! The crowd is going berserk. BERSERK. They step out through the curtain... Sick Billy Kryenik and Tommy Deathrow, the Doomriders! BILL HEWSON: And in one week, these two men will challenge The MIDNIGHT COWBOYS for the NAPW Tag Team Titles! They have never been hotter in NAPW then they are now, but their feud with The Untouchables is nowhere near over even after that brutal, brutal match at Cold Snap. JACK JONES: Well tonight there's no hardcore rules to save The Doomriders! JAY O'BRIEN: They're teaming with a loser like "Perfection" Evan Cartwright tonight, they don't have a bloody chance in hell. The Doomriders enter the ring, tensions are almost going to explode! "HOLD ON! I'M COMING! BILL HEWSON: And here comes the former NAPW Champion! Next week he gets a rematch with Ravager, but tonight he's got a score to settle with his former ally Chris Casino! Evan Cartwright comes to the ring chewing gum, with a towel over his shoulder. He tosses it behind his back and catches it before entering the ring. It looks like it's going to be Tommy Deathrow and Kurt Castle starting off... DING DING DING. There's the bell and the powerhouse Castle locks up with Tommy Deathrow, these two had one hell of a Provincial Title match a few weeks ago. Castle throws Tommy to the ropes and puts him down with an elbow to the head. Deathrow immediately back up though, he open-hand slaps Castle back in the face. Castle's short fuse burns out and he tries to kill Deathrow, but Tommy kicks the man straight in the gut with the point of his boot. Tommy looking for a double-arm DDT, but here's Casino in with an axhandle. Casino looking for the BANKRUPT --- SBK WITH THE HOT SALVATION SUPERKICK! CASINO GOES DOWN! Wait a minute, Castle has Deathrow now --- NECKBREAKER! And now here comes the monster KRENSHOV into the ring. Kryenik gets blindsided, and Krenshov hooks his man for the TOTAL ECLIPSE. That draws Evan Cartwright into the ring now, he's the only man other than Krenshov not in trouble. Cartwright comes in with the ROAAAARING ELBOW to Krenshov's jaw! Here comes Castle, Evan tosses him over the top rope! Kryenik rolls out of the ring and goes after Castle, and that leaves... Chris Casino vs Evan Cartwright. BILL HEWSON: THE RAT PACK EXPLODES! Evan Cartwright crouches down, and then comes up with the PERFECT UPPERCUT --- STRAIGHT INTO A RISING TOMMY DEATHROW. BILL HEWSON: WHAT THE HELL? JACK JONES: YES! YES! YESSSSSS! JAY O'BRIEN: Now ain't that a son of a bitch. Deathrow is laid out and... CASINO AND CARTWRIGHT EMBRACE. THE RAT PACK --- IS REUNITED. THE UNTOUCHABLES --- ARE FOUR. BILL HEWSON: I don't believe what we are seeing! I don't believe it! Evan Cartwright and Chris Casino are reunited --- Oh my God, can you believe what this means for The Untouchables?! JACK JONES: I know what it means for THE DOOMRIDERS --- AN ASS-KICKING! JAY O'BRIEN: Now there's the ticket! CARTWRIGHT locks the Cartwheel in on Tommy Deathrow! And though Kryenik is fighting like hell, he's suddenly having to deal with the combined might of Krenshov and and Castle! This time Krenshov gets the Total Eclipse on Billy... and Castle is there to lock the Truth Serum in on the man. Meanwhile, Cartwright lets go of Tommy, who bravely gets to his feet --- only to be NAILED by The Bankrupt from Casino. The Doomriders continue to be beaten and stomped on as Casino grabs a microphone, oblivious to the garbage being thrown into the ring. BILL HEWSON: I don't believe what we are seeing! Evan Cartwright is an Untouchable! JAY O'BRIEN: What makes you say that? BILL HEWSON: Are you blind, O'Brien? LOOK IN THE RING --- JACK JONES: HOLY HELL LOOK IN THE RING! Chris Casino and Evan Cartwright once again embrace... Evan turns away to get some more of Billy and EATS THE CASINO SUPERKICK. WHAT. THE. HELL. Evan hits the ropes on the collapse, looking on in shock --- and then Kurt Castle hoists him up... TOTAL DEVASTATION. GOOD GOD. What the hell is this? Now Chris Casino --- Casino just yelled at Raul Havok to toss a chair into the ring? What the HELL is going on --- wait a minute! Krenshov sends Deathrow to the outside as Castle hits a high-impact belly-to-belly on Kryenik. Meanwhile Casino has the chair, he's placing it on Evan Cartwright's ankle! Castle holds it in place as Casino ascends the top rope --- THE FLYING ELBOW DROP! ON THE CHAIR! OH GOD, EVAN CARTWRIGHT IS SCREAMING IN PAIN! HIS ANKLE AUDIBLY SNAPPED ON IMPACT! The crowd is just chanting bullshit as Casino grabs a microphone, horrible grin on his face as he swats a popcorn bag out of the air. CHRIS CASINO: Evan Cartwright you sucker, you're as stupid as these dirty Canadians. You're not good enough to be in The Untouchables... NOW... let me introduce to the entire world the REAL newest member of The Untouchables... OFFICIAL after all this time... PATH. BILL HEWSON: It can't be! NO! NO! NO! JACK JONES: THE NAPW CHAMPION IS AN UNTOUCHABLE? It is. Ravager is heading to the ring. He steps in, Casino giving him a grin. Ravager gets in... they shake hands! OMG WTF. Casino turns away... WAIT A MINUTE --- CASINO WITH A SUPERKICK? RAVAGER WAS READY FOR IT! He swats the leg away and gets behind Casino, FULL-NELSON --- LAST RESORT! WHAT THE HELL?! Kurt Castle comes at him, Ravager ducks the lariat and nails a sick headbutt on the turn-around. Then? SHINING WIZARD. Sick knee right to the head. Castle staggers, but here comes KRENSHOV. Unfortunately for him, Ravager's title belt is suddenly in his hands from his waist --- BELT SHOT. Krenshov staggered, Ravager picks up the chair that's still in the ring --- CLANG. BILL HEWSON: Wait --- Ravager is clearly NOT an Untouchable! In fact he's clearing the damn ring of Untouchables! This is so confusing --- wait a minute, Jay where are you --- Jay O'Brien has left our announce table! In the ring, Ravager is waiting for Chris Casino to get back up again. The crowd is on their feet. The thing is: Ravager thinks he's dealt with ALL of The Untouchables. He is, uncharacteristically, wrong. The STO takes Ravager down and before anybody can register what has happened, Jay O'Brien has locked in Insatiable Insanity. Casino is standing up, grinning like the Hamburglar after Whopper Wednesday (what?). Casino gets in Ravager's face as Krenshov and Castle get back up, the two monsters attacking the Doomriders, knocking them back out to the floor. Then Krenshov grabs Ravager as Casino directs traffic... Krenshov and O'Brien are working together? Krenshov hoists Ravager up on his shoulders... and that's O'Brien needs to leap off the top rope and spike the NAPW Champion's head into the canvas with a sick combination Electric Chair Drop/DDT. The champion is down. Evan Cartwright is cradling his shattered ankle in a corner. Raul Havok and Eli Potts get in the ring, applauding their clients. They stand up then, leaving wreckage behind. The camera pans along one side of the ring. Krenshov. Castle. O'Brien. Casino. And they are FOUR.
Lights down.
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