TUESDAY. NIGHT. FIGHTS.03/06/2007
BILL HEWSON: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! KRENSHOV MAY HAVE KILLED SANTIAGO! CHRIS CASINO: (screaming) From now on, NAPW will stand for North America Pro Wrestling!!! BILL HEWSON: Could this really be the end of New Alberta Professional Wrestling, and the beginning of North America Professional Wrestling? FRANK WARBURTON: Your winners! And NEW NAPW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! SICK BILLY KRYENIIIK! TOMMY DEEATHROOOOW! THE DOOOOMRIIIIDERRRS! Ravager hooks the leg of Rees as Simply Beautiful goes for the count! One, two and Three! The crowd explodes as Ravager rolls off of a bloodied Rees. BILL HEWSON: Kurt Castle just came out of the crowd from nowhere! Ravager turns around TOO LATE! THE PROVINCIAL TITLE TO THE FACE! OH MY GOD! ------ Tonight, the Pure Honor Champion and Provincial Champion have assaulted the NAPW Champion! The Untouchables want to take over NAPW --- Ravager retains his title --- The DOOMriders have stormed the ring --- and we are out of time! Good night! Fade And then fade up on the jamPACKED Polish Hall in Edmonton Alberta! There's gotta be nearly one thousand fans in this place --- it's been almost two months since NAPW has been home. Jack "Attack" Jones and Bill Hewson at the commentary table near the entrance as always! BILL HEWSON: Welcome everybody to NAPW Tuesday Night Fights, we have got one HELL of a show for you! In our main event, it's SUPERSTAR RULES: Tommy Deathrow, one-half of the NEW tag team champions taking on the PURE HONOR champion Chris Casino, for the first time ever! JACK JONES: Talk about first-time ever... Stylin' Kyle Roberts vs Bruce "The Beast" Richards, one on one, and Stylin' Kyle will finally PROVE who carried whom in D-X! BILL HEWSON: A match I never thought I would have to call... a huge tag team battle royale tonight as well, but right now, let's go to Frank Warburton for our first match of the evening. "Driver's High" begins to play throughout the arena as Frank Warburton takes his position in the ring. FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania ... Weighing in at two-hundred-and-forty-four pounds. DEZ CARTER! And Dez Carter steps through the curtain to a certain amount of applause from the people in attendance tonight. He quickly makes his way down the aisle, slapping hands with the willing fans as he goes. He slides into the ring as his music dies down. FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent. Tool's "Sober" blares through the speakers. FRANK WARBURTON: From 'The Shadows' ... Weighing in at two-hundred-and-forty pounds, he is making in NAPW debut ... SEBASTIEN MARTYR! And the newcomer appears in the entranceway as the crowd jeer and boo him. It seems his comments at past shows haven't gone down too well. Undeterred, he slowly makes his way down to the ring. Climbing up the steps and in through the ropes. Dez Carter, always the good sportsman, waits patiently in his corner. BILL HEWSON: I don't know about you, Jack Attack, but I'm curious what this Sebastien Martyr character is going to do in the ring here tonight against the former Pure Honor champion. JACK JONES: You ain't seen nothin' yet! The bell sounds, and this match is underway. The slightly larger Carter backs his opponent into the corner as he lands a few chops to the chest, but he's caught by a boot to the midsection. And Martyr simply throws Dez Carter into the corner before unleashing several rights to the jaw. The referee intervenes, causing Sebastien to go for an Irish whip, sending his opponent from one corner to another. Lariat! The running lariat connects, hard. Carter stumbles out of the corner and straight into a short-arm clothesline as Sebastien goes for an early pin attempt. One! Two! Noooo! Carter kicks out. Seemingly angry, Sebastien drags his opponent back to his feet, all the while connecting with some knee strikes to the midsection. And an abdominal stretch to follow. The official, Morgan Smythe is checking for the submission as Martyr lays into Carter's exposed side with some clubbing blows. But Dez manages to reach the ropes as Smythe calls for the break. No. One! Two! Three! Four! Ah, there's the break. And a sidewalk slam follows. BILL HEWSON: Martyr doesn't seem to have any respect for the referee's authority.. JACK JONES: And he's taking Dez Carter apart, baby! I think I like this kid, even if I don't get the crazy grunge music. BILL HEWSON: 1995 called, Jones. They want their reference back. Carter rolls towards the ropes, hoping to use them to get back to his feet, but Martyr grabs him by the hair again. And Martyr drags him back to his feet - but Dez fires off a boot to the gut. And another. He goes against the ropes, building up some speed - KITCHEN SINK by Sebastien Martyr! Carter caught by a knee to the midsection, and he went flying. It doesn't take too long before he's back to his feet though as Martyr sneaks up behind him, hooking his arms for a full nelson - FACEBUSTER! Seabastien rolls his opponent over, holding a forearm across his face as Morgan Smythe counts the cover. One! Two! Thr--no! So, Sebastien tries again. One! Two! Thr-no! Silly rabbit, it isn't over yet. Sebastien Martyr lifts Carter back to a vertical base once more as an Irish whip sends him towards the corner. Martyr follows in with a running back elbow before his attack switches to shoulder thrusts. He's working those ribs over very well and the crowd isn't liking it one bit. This decimation of one of their favorites just isn't going down that well. Anyhow, once again Morgan Smythe is forced to intervene - demanding that Martyr back away. He does so, but steps forward with a deadly uppercut, much to the crowd's dismay. Carter gets dragged out of the corner, out on his feet as Martyr plants him with a quick DDT. BILL HEWSON: What a vicious DDT! And now Sebastien looks ready to finish this! Martyr waits a few moments for Dez to stand up - boot to the gut - THE SACRIFICE! Carter just got drilled. Planted. Driven head first into the canvas! But that's not enough. Martyr rolls him over - MORPHEUS! He's got Carter locked in a rear naked choke like move and Morgan Smythe has no choice but to call for the bell. This one is over, fast. FRANK WARBURTON: Your winner by submission... SEBASTIENNNN MARTYRRRR!
The sweet, sweet sounds of Creed...well, the sounds of Creed fill Polish Hall as Nightmare marches angrily to the ring. The dark lighting makes his eyes seem to glow beneath his long hair. The crowd's letting loose with the regular chorus of boos, but Nightmare's quick to respond to any fan who snaps at him with a raised fist and an unspoken threat. BILL HEWSON: Nightmare doesn't seem to be in his regular focused, angry mood. He's more in a distracted angry mood. JACK JONES: It's because that hack Warburton called him the former TV Champ! That's a low thing to do, reminding a guy of his loss like that. That kind of thing can get in to your psychological membranes and rattle around your concentration matrix! "Concentration Matrix"! Buckethead! That can only mean one thing! BILL HEWSON: Or maybe he's distracted becuase he's facing THIS MAN! "Sick" Billy comes out from behind the curtain, and the crowd goes wild! He's got his Tag Title belt over his shoulder, and he's just eating up the crowd's adoration, shooting devilish glances to Nightmare, already in the ring. FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent! Weighing in at two hundred and twenty-nine pounds! He is half of the current NAPW Tag Team Champions, The Doomriders! Sick! Billy! KRYYYYYYYYENIK! JACK JONES: Boo! Death to the Doomriders! Long live The Midnight Cowboys! Kryenik and Deathrow are ruining wrestling with their garbage wrestling and underhanded tactics! BILL HEWSON: Settle down there, Jonesy. You have to remember to breathe in when you're spouting hypocritical garbage. JACK JONES: (Hyperventilating.) Shut...up...Hewson... Kryenik climbs in the ring and hands the belt over to referee Morgan Smythe, making a really big show of it to Nightmare, who just grips the ropes and glares back. Smythe hands the belt off to the timekeeper, the bell rings, and we have a MATCH, ladies and gentlemen! Kryenik and Nightmare lock up in the middle of the ring, Nightmare gets the hold, tries to get a belly-to-back suplex going, but Kryenik slips out of the big man's grip, and slides under his legs. Nightmare turns around and is met with a kick to the gut; he doubles over and SBK follows up with a DDT! Nightmare's quick to get up from that one, but staggers back after a STRONG right hook from Kryenik. Kryenik, capitalizing on his speed, whips Nightmare into the ropes and just PLASTERS him with The Kiss of Babylon! BILL HEWSON: You can practically see Kryenik's bootprint on Nightmare's face after that superkick! JACK JONES: Good thing he's got a strong jaw! Not as strong as Josh Reynolds's jaw, but still... Nightmare's on the ground and "Sick" Billy goes in for a quick cover, one, two, no dice for the tag champion as Nightmare kicks out. Billy gets up and then goes right back down with a falling knee drop to Nightmare's back. Both men up now, Nightmare favouring his back a little, and Billy keeps up his assault, a chop to the chest, a kick to the side, an elbow to the back of the head, and Nightmare's back down on his hands and knees! Sick Billy Kryenik is taking the former TV Champ to task early in this match! Kryenik puts his boot in Nightmare's stomach again, and the big man's down on the ground, trying to get some air into his lungs. Kryenik takes a pause from his continuous assault and turns to play to the fans, raising his hands in the air and giving them a crazy-eyed grin, and the fans give him a big cheer in return. Nightmare back on his feet now, moving towards SBK, who has his back turned...but spins around just in time and nails Nightmare with ANOTHER right hook! Nightmare's shocked; SBK must have eyes in the back of his head! SBK follows up with an Irish Whip right into the turnbuckle, and follows up with a hard lariat. He puts Nightmare up on the top turnbuckle, and...HOT SALVATION! Nightmare's head just bounces off Kryenik's knee! Kryenik's not wasting any time, and locks on the Branch Breaker! Nightmare's face is just a GRIMACE of pain, and he's desperate to break free, but Kryenik locked in too close to the ropes, and Nightmare gets his hand on the bottom rope and holds on for dear life. Kryenik lets loose, and quickly follows up with another Irish Whip into the turnbuckle--NIGHTMARE REVERSES! Nightmare uses his greater mass and the power of inertia to spin around in the center of the ring, and now Kryenik hits the turnbuckle. The third whip is the charm for Nightmare, who follows up with a BIG splash in the corner, and Kryenik looks a little worse for wear after being the meat in a Nightmare/Turnbuckle sandwich. JACK JONES: And NOW that filthy Doomrider's going to get what's coming to him! BILL HEWSON: Nightmare's being taken to task in this match so far; does he have the stones to dig deep and fight his way back? JACK JONES: He's reaching for the brass ring, Hewson! He'll be all right if he keeps his head up in there, gives it 110%, and keeps his eye on the prize! Besides, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take! BILL HEWSON: I think that meets our sports cliche quota for the match, don't you? Nightmare rushes at Kryenik as he turns around, and flattens him with a short-arm clothesline! SBK back to his feet, though, and he makes a run at Nightmare, who just digs in to the mat, and Kryenik eats shoulder! He takes a few steps back and Nightmare gives him a bodyslam, then goes down for a sharpshooter! Kryenik gets the ropes, and Morgan Smythe quickly goes in for a five-count. She knows how Nightmare's going to play it, and Nightmare lets go on four, then starts shouting at Smythe, complaining that it was a fast count. Kryenik, back to his feet nails Nightmare in the back with a weak kick, but Nightmare sells it like crazy, stumbling forward into Smythe, who gets an elbow in the face for good measure! Referee Morgan Smythe is dazed, leaning on the ropes and holding her eyes, and Nightmare turns around with a wicked smile on his face! He blatantly thumbs Kryenik in the eye, then rebounds off the ropes with a running inverted spinebuster! He goes in for the cover...but there's no-one to count! BILL HEWSON: Now ain't that a shame. Nightmare's tactics working against him, and he gets up angrily, hauling Kryenik up by the neck. The two men lock up, and Kryenik tries for another DDT, but Nightmare powers out and hits Kryenik with another short arm clothesline! Kryenik rolls toward the corner, trying to get up, but Nightmare's right there with him, and he whips him at the rope, going for another backbreaker, but Kryenik dodges, and comes back with a superkick! Another Kiss of Babylon from SBK, and both men are looking beaten as they lie on the mat. Morgan Smythe, back to her senses, sees both wrestlers lying on the mat and begins a ten-count. Kryenik and Nightmare drag themselves to their feet, and lock up in the middle of the ring yet again. Kryenik turns Nightmare around, looking for a bulldog, but Nightmare just bursts out of it, turning around for a big bear hug. Kryenik ducks under Nightmare's arms, and takes him down at the knees! Kryenik's locking on the Halo, wrenching on Nightmare's legs, pulling with all his might...but Nightmare just pushes up from the mat and Kryenik flies to the other side of the ring! Nightmare gets up, stumbling towards Kryenik, who's just hanging from the ropes. He pulls Kryenik up to his feet, and gives him a vicious headbutt! Blood starts to stream from Kryenik's nose, and Morgan Smythe is NOT happy with Nightmare! She pulls him away from the turnbuckle, reprimanding him, but Nightmare just shrugs it off and turns back around. RIGHT INTO A HARD RIGHT FROM KRYENIK! Nightmare's doubled over, and now "Sick" Billy hooks the arms! DRY LAKE! DRY LAKE! He covers! ONE! TWO! THREE! FRANK WARBURTON: Aaand your winner! SICK! BILLY! KRYYYYYYYYYYENIK! The crowd goes nuts as Nightmare just stands and fumes. BILL HEWSON: That was a hell of a match, Jack Attack. Despite a bit of dirty pool on Nightmare's part, both men fought a tough match, and it was anyone's match for a while there. But Kryenik just proves why he's one of the toughest men in the NAPW! JACK JONES: (Heartbroken.) He was so close! Nightmare could have had him if that damned biased referee didn't interfere! Billy Kryenik is in the middle of the ring, his hand extended, shouting at Nightmare. "SHAKE MY HAND!" Nightmare grits his teeth, and takes a few steps towards the Tag Team Champion. Kryenik's still holding his arm out, waiting for Nightmare. "BE A MAN, DAMMIT! SHAKE MY HAND!" The crowd's just SCREAMING at Billy to take his hand down, but he's not paying attention. He's just staring into the Dream Demon's green eyes. Nightmare stares right back, then sneers and rolls out of the ring, walking away with his back to Kryenik. "Sick" Billy shakes his head, then grabs his tag title belt and climbs up the top turnbuckle and holds the belt high over his head. The crowd gives him a big cheer, and only then does Nightmare sneak a look back, seeing Kryenik, mouth smeared with blood, jubilant in victory, holding his belt over his head. Nightmare turns back and walks out past the curtain...his eyes still glowing.
BILL HEWSON: You. JACK JONES: Me! BILL HEWSON: Were cast alongside Al Pacino in The Godfather, the greatest movie ever made. JACK JONES: Me! BILL HEWSON: Excellent.
"MORE HUMAN THAN HUMAN! BILL HEWSON: And here comes the owner... the former two-time NAPW Champion, "THE NEXUS ONE" REX CALIBER! The Edmonton crowd gives a big, fat pop for Sexy Rexy who steps through the curtain in jeans and a "Nexus One Sports Club" hoodie. He sure as hell doesn't look professional, but that doesn't change a damned thing. He's still the owner of NAPW and these fans, who have not seen him in an NAPW ring live and in person for some time, are showin' him the love. Rex pauses before he gets into the ring, not bothering to conceal one helluva big grin. He gets into the ring and has a brief exchange with Frank Warburton, clapping the good announcer on the shoulder before taking the microphone. He waits for the chants of "REX, REX" to die down before speaking. REX CALIBER: Hot damn... good God! Does it feel good to be back in a New Alberta Pro ring... right here in Edmonton, Alberta... Canada! Cheap pop? Hells yes. REX CALIBER: You know it's been a long time since this 245lb shithammer's been in the ring here in my adopted hometown, but it ain't like I've been far gone. You know this town's been good to me... and you all know that New Alberta Pro's been good to Rex Caliber. And you know, it ain't all high-balls and keggers bein' in charge of a great promotion like this. So that's why I'm out here today. I've got something serious to talk about with all of you... Rex pauses. The fans quiet down, but a worried murmer goes through the crowd. What is Rex talking about? REX CALIBER: Now just about a month ago I became owner of this fed by beating "Bad Boy" Joey Malone. You know it was a good match, not only did that rat-bastard Joey get a much-needed ass-whupping, but my boy Static came to his damn senses. Hell, we had a classic match before it was all said and done. But the thing is and you remember this. I said that win or lose, Rex Caliber was going to help fund NAPW. And I did that because like I said, Joey Malone was runnin' this company into bankruptcy. The hard truth is... for all the good things Joey Malone did for NAPW, gettin' it national exposure and bringing it to PPV... Well, NAPW was about a month away from going out of business. The crowd is shocked, some booing Joey Malone nee Winchell, others just unsure of what to say. REX CALIBER: Now what I saw, running the most popular sports bar in Edmonton THE NEXUS ONE SPORTS CLUB on 118th Avenue, NAPW specials all week long, was a promotion I love headin' into an oncoming train. NAPW... has given a lot to me, it gave me my son, it gave me titles, hell, I love this damn fed! I damn well bleed NAPW! I relocated to this country from Parts Unknown, North Carolina because NAPW meant that much to me... and hell if I was goin' to let Joey Malone run it out of business. And hell, I won the match and won ownership, so my money wasn't just going to be funnelled into more of Joey's stupid ideas. So I want to say all of you, any of you who've heard the rumours! Who've heard the doomsayers --- I said doomsayers, not NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS THE DOOOOMRIDERS (pop!) --- or heard the know-it-all jackasses... NEW ALBERTA PRO AIN'T GOING OUT OF BUSINESS NOT NOW, and hopefully NOT EVER! Not as long as REX CALIBER is in charge! WHOOOO! THE CROWD GOES BONKER! NAPW AIN'T DEAD, BABY! But. Rex isn't done yet. He motions for the crowd to quiet down again, he's got more to say. REX CALIBER: Now for the bad news. NAPW's going to have to change how it runs business. Y'see in this continent we've got the big "E", you know what I'm talking about. We've got the little "A", even if nobody really cares. We've got a couple shows that run TV every week and build to Pay-Per-View events. And as much as I love NAPW, as popular as we've become... we can't do it that way anymore. New Alberta Pro conceived by the great "Wahoo" Bobby Winchell, who I've brought back onboard as president of talent relations, was an independent wrestling promotion. Grassroots, born and bred here in ALBERTA, in Edmonton. And that is what NAPW is going to get back to so that it can damn well BE one of the best promotions in North America. So it does mean that NAPW is heading towards Sole Survivor... and that will still be on Pay-Per-View in Toronto, as booked by Joseph Winchell long in advance. And then effective immediately after Sole Survivor II, NAPW will no longer be running a weekly TV program or any Pay-Per-Views. Before the crowd's dismay gets too big, Rex goes on. REX CALIBER: But I'll tell you what IS going to happen! NAPW is going to run a couple cards every month, and those cards are going to contain the best damn wrestlers, same as we've always done! And not only that but it is my privilege to announce a working relationship with a promotion from all the way back in my home state of North Carolina. NAPW fans you NEED to check out REBEL Pro Wrestling as soon as you get damn home. Rebel-pro.com... and here's the deal, NAPW wrestlers have already been signed to the REBEL roster! They're going to be our east coast representation, and I tell you what, there has never been a more exciting time in NAPW history than this! And for the NEW NAPW... YOU IN EDMONTON, THE HOMETOWN FANS, THE FANS THAT'VE KEPT THIS PLACE GOING FROM THE START... will get the first damn card! ON APRIL 17th, 2007, NEW ALBERTA PRO RETURNS TO THE POLISH HALL IN EDMONTON FOR THE START OF A NEW ERA --- Wait a minute, that's Chris Casino's music! The Pure Honor champion breezes through the curtain with a sneer on his face. The belt is around his waist; he's in his ring gear with an "N.A.P.W." t-shirt on. He slides into the ring and snatches the mic from Rex, ignoring the "asshole chants" he's getting from the fans. CASINO: Rex...To say it's good to see you would be like saying I'm happy to be here in Canada! Who the Hell made you Lord and Savior of this promotion? You don't own this promotion, The Untouchables own this damn promotion! We've got the Provincial and the Pure Honor titles and it's only a brief matter of time that we add those Tag Titles to our cache. You see Rex, while you're off sniffing glue with your mongoloid kid The Untouchables are the ones who are trying to save NAPW. The crowd is hot at Casino, as if he could care. He loves this. CASINO: When I say NAPW I don't mean your useless Northern Alberta Pro Wrestling, I'm talking about the future of this company. North America Pro Wrestling! You see Rex, we're sick of freezing our balls off up here in America's attic! We're sick of trying to figure out the stupid Canadian exchange rate! It was my brilliance that formed The Untouchables. It's my vision that the NEW N.A.P.W will relocate to Vegas and we can go back to having our PPVs. We can go back to being on television. The boys in the back can once more start making some serious money. CASINO: But you have this master plan. A plan that has NAPW basically starting from scratch! You'd rather run some Mom N' Pop promotion that allow me to shape this company into it's full potential. But that's okay, you want to play business man be my guest. I can guarantee you that after the big paydays dry up that the boys in the back will BEG you to let me take over this company! Trust me, when it comes to telling other countries how to do business...No one is better than America baby! Oh and as far as this REBEL thing? If you're excited about it then it must suck! Hell if it's based in North Carolina you have to know it's some backwater hillbilly run enterprise! You know what? Screw you, screw these monkeys in the crowd and screw REBEL! Casino drops the mic on the canvas and hits the corner, smirking as the fans shower him with boos. Rex picks up the microphone and leans back against the ropes, seemingly unconcerned. Casino drops down and turns toward him... Rex holds the mic up. REX CALIBER: You done? Casino smirks. Bastard. REX CALIBER: Well you know what, you talk the talk and hell, The Untouchables have the gold to back it up. You're a hell of a wrestler Casino... but you know what? For all your talk, you don't know shit about running a wrestling company. But that ain't important. See Chris... you didn't let me finish. These great fans... these CANADIAN fans... THESE EDMONTON FANS... deserve to get the best damn show on April 17th they've ever gotten! And since you're out here Chris, hell, I think it's time to announce the MAIN EVENT for APRIL 17TH! The room is BUZZING! Casino snorts and says "bring it on monkey." REX CALIBER: FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER --- BUZZZ REX CALIBER: THE PURE HONOR CHAMPION CHRIS CASINNNNOOOO! IT CAN'T BE REX CALIBER: versus a man you've been ducking for a damn year... THE NAPW CHAMPION... RAAAAAAVAGERRRRRR! BILL HEWSON: OH MY GOD! JACK JONES: RAVAGER VS CASINO? THE CROWD GOES BANANA. Casino is freaking out! "What? You can't do that!" REX CALIBER: I can and I damn well will, because it's about damn time it happened and what better place than in front of the NAPW faithful! Now you know what, both you and Ravager have title defenses from here until that show. So if by some chance Ravager ain't NAPW Champion, then the match is STILL ON! And for that Pure title! If you're not Pure champion by then, then the match? STILL ON! And for the NAPW Title! Or maybe no titles! But it's STILL ON because CHRIS CASINO vs RAVAGER HAS TO HAPPEN! But if all things work out... and if you both somehow happen to be champions when this match comes on... then on April 17th, it will be the Pure Honor Champion CHRIS CASINO vs the NAPW Champion RAVAGER... TITLE! VERSUS! TITLE! Oh, and speaking of TITLE vs TITLE... NEXT WEEK! Your boy Kurt Castle is going to put that Provincial Title on the line against the TV Champion Chad Kurtis in a TITLE UNIFICATION MATCH. If he wins that four-way match here tonight for an NAPW title shot... well, then he'll get that match AND the unification! And these decisions, Chris, are UNTOUCHABLE! BAM! Rex throws the mic down and rolls out of the ring to a monster pop. Casino is kicking the bottom rope in sheer horror/panic/anger. April 17th, whatever titles held on the line, it will at last be CHRIS CASINO vs RAVAGER to begin the new era of New Alberta Pro Wrestling!
JOSH REYNOLDS: Rex --- what happened here? What's going on with Chad Kurtis? REX CALIBER: I'll tell you damn what, some son of a bitch damn well laid out "THE SHOW," and he's going to the hospital. And that means Team Kurtis just got screwed... Matt, what the hell are you gonna do? MATTHEW KURTIS: Well Rex "The Kentucky Wildcat" ain't ever been one to walk away from a fight, I'll go in that tag team battle royale all alone if I got to, but I want to know who did this to my brother! "Not alone!" Rex, Matt and Josh all turn their heads to look at "Lovely "Lyndsey Valentine. LYNDSEY: Sugar, what happened to Chad tonight is bad, but I think he'd be okay with a one-night only replacement of little ol' me... and I'll beat the hell out of any man in that match who thinks I'm a push-over! Matthew grins, then goes over to Chad. The brothers grasp hands. CHAD KURTIS: You go out there --- and give --- them hell. JOSH REYNOLDS: Chad, who did this to you? CHAD KURTIS: Don't --- make me kick your teeth down yer throat again Josh. I don't know. MATTHEW KURTIS: What the man said. Alright Chad, you get put together. Tonight me and Lyndsey are going out there to kick some ass, and then next week we'll find who took you out and they'll learn what happens when they mess with Team Kurtis! YEAHHHH... now to ringside. FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is the FOUR WAY ELIMINATION match for number one contendership for the NAPW CAMPIONSHIP! "Frankenstein" hits the speakers, and KEVIN KODIAK is the first man out. The lumberjack glad-hands some fans as he makes his way to the ring. FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, from SALMON RIVER, BC, and weighing in at TWO HUNDRED and SIXTY two pounds... KEVIN. KODIAK. As Kodiak climbs into his corner, "Untouchables" hits and the crowd starts booing. The Provincial Champion, "THE DEVASTATOR" KURT CASTLE, emerges from the back... and he's armed with a microphone? KURT CASTLE: Cut the music! CUT THE MUSIC! Don't bother introducing me just yet, Warburton. I have a few words for you, and these fans, and everyone in the back. You see, everyone here - EVERY (BLEEP) ONE OF YOU - knows that Chris Casino deserves to be here instead of me. He's the best wrestler in this whole sorry promotion and he's continuously being SCREWED out of a title shot. I know this. You know this. Rex Calibur knows this. But here he is, trying to sow discord amongst the Untouchables by giving ME a shot. Well, Rex, I've already GOT a belt - a belt that I'm never letting go of. I'm the BEST Provincial Champion IN THE HISTORY of the NAPW, and I don't give a damn about Ravager or his NAPW Title. So you know what, Ravager? It's YOUR lucky day... because I'm not taking part in this match. BILL HEWSON: What!? He's just walking out on a Number One Contender match!? JACK JONES: He's just showing solidarity, Bill Hewson! It's loyalty like that that's missing from most wrestlers today! What a class act! The crowd isn't sure if they should boo or cheer at that news, but Kurt Castle throws down the microphone, drapes his Provincial Title over his shoulder, turns on his heel, and walks out. In the ring, Kevin Kodiak shrugs. I mean, his chances of winning just increased, so why worry? He starts shouting for the others to hurry up and get their asses in the ring. "Step Up" by Drowning Pool heralds BIG BAD BRIAN BRUNO! Quadruple-B gets a very mixed reaction as he heads to the ring, but doesn't seem to care. FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing his opponent. From Chicago, Illinois and weighing in at TWO HUNDRED and SEVENTY one pounds... BIG. BAD. BRIIIIAAAAAN BRUUUUNOOOO. Bruno climbs into the ring and gets right into Kodiak's face. The two square off right there, but Senior Referee John Sharplin seperates them and sends them packing for opposite corners. And "Stone Cold Crazy" for the win! The crowd pops huge as fan-favourite, SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL erupts from the back, looking ready to rumble! BILL HEWSON: Simply Beautiful is looking pumped, Jack Attack, like he could take on the OH MY GOD LLOYD REES! Simply Beautiful is halfway down the aisle, when he's jumped! It's LLOYD REES and DAVID BANKS! Banks, armed with a chair, tees off on SB's head! Simply Beautiful topples right into a waiting Lloyd Rees, who props him up against the steel guardrail, then gleefully shouts at the Chairman to finish him! Banks kisses his chair, smiles, and SAVAGELY starts hammering on SB! The crowd boos relentlessly, some even chanting "Bull****! Bull****!" Brian Bruno looks on in concern, and Kevin Kodiak slides out of the ring to help, but a swing from Banks' chair keeps him at bay. This looks like the end for Simply Beautiful... And then REX CALIBER rushes from the back with NAPW security in tow! The security men break up the beating, but the damage appears to be done. As a dazed, possibly injured Simply Beautiful lays slumped against the guardrail, Rees and Banks laugh. BILL HEWSON: Look at them smile! Those sick bastards might have just put Simply Beautiful on the shelf! How can they be happy about this!? Wait... Rex Calibur is... EJECTING THEM FROM THE BUILDING! Indeed he is! The crowd cheers as the Commish throws them out! Rees and Banks both object, loudly. David Banks starts shouting that he's got a match against Ravager, but Rex just smirks and answers "Not any more, smart guy! Security! Get them out of my building!" As the Chairman and Lloyd Rees are dragged bodily out of the arena, some medics rush out to attend to Simply Beautiful. After a moment, he's up, but clearly hurting. He is hurridly helped into the back, while the crowd looks on in dismay. JACK JONES: What an insane start to the match! The bell hasn't even RUNG, and two of the competitors are already eliminated! Kodiak and Bruno don't seem to care. They're ready to go, and THERE'S THE BELL! The two immediately lock up, both powerhouses trying to overcome the strength of the other. Bruno, however, has the edge, and hits his Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex! A quick pin! One! Only one. But Bruno doesn't let up. He grabs Kodiak by the arm, and sinks in a sick looking Cross Armbreaker. Kodiak grinds his teeth, reaches out, and grabs the bottom rope. Bruno scowls... but it's a clean break. Bruno rears back, waits for Kodiak to retake his feet, then lunges forward with a European Uppercut. Kodiak recoils into a corner, and Quadruple-B follows him, unleashing a series of shoulder thrusts, driving himself into Kevin Kodiak's abdomen. Bruno, relentless, pulls Kodiak back from the corner, hauls his opponent up for a suplex... stalls.... stalls... STALLS... and down goes Kevin Kodiak! Bruno puts a foot on the fallen lumberjack, and calls for the count. And the crowd goes wild! Because here comes SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL! Big Bad Brian Bruno looks amazed, steps over the prone Kevin Kodiak, and meets Simply Beautiful as hurtles into the ring! The two men immediately start trading shots back and forth, but - despite the beating from earlier - SB is on fire, and quickly gets the upper hand! Brian Bruno reels, as Simply Beautiful rears back, and goes high! Flying Lariat! Quadruple-B is driven backward, right over Kevin Kodiak! Bruno crashes to the ring, and Kodiak takes advantage! He grabs at Quarduple-B's legs and signals for the Bear Trap! The crowd cheers, but Bruno flails with all his might towards the ropes... where Simply Beautiful grabs his arm and locks in the Painkiller! Bruno cries out in pain... but at least Kevin Kodiak has no choice but to let go of his legs. SB pulls back on the hold, Bruno tries to get to the ropes again with his other arm... but the lumberjack is going upstairs! Top Rope Splash! Bruno is FLATTENED and Simply Beautiful reels backwards into the ropes! Kodiak with a pin! One! Only one. He rises calls for the Bear Trap again! The crowd cheers... and Simply Beautiful dives at him! Spin Doctor! Kodiak crashes into the ring, and Simply Beautiful kips up... only to be caught into a Full Nelson from Quadruple-B! Simply Beautiful struggles... but to no avail! Sit-Out Full Nelson Bomb! SB writhes in pain, and Bruno grabs hold of him. He pulls SB up and drives his head between his knees, calling for the Bruno Bomber... then gets a face full of Double Axe Hand Chop! Simply Beautiful rolls away as Brian Bruno reels. Kevin Kodiak presses his attack, he drives Bruno into the corner, and then sets him up on the top rope! The crowd rises to it's feet! Top Rope Vertical Supex! Bruno crashes into the ring, and Kodiak hurridly hooks the leg! One! Two! THREE! Kickout too late! FRANK WARBURTON: Big Bad Brian Bruno has been ELIMINATED! Kevin Kodiak raises an arm in victory and backpeddles into a corner, while Simply Beautiful pull himself to his feet, rubbing his back. Quadruple-B rises like the dead, a vein in his head throbbing and his eye twitching! JACK JONES: Here it comes! Bruno's going to SNAP! But it doesn't come. Bruno swallows his rage, shrugs, and rolls out of the ring. Simply Beautiful and Kevin Kodiak stare across the ring at each other while Bruno heads to the back. The crowd starts chanting "SB! SB! Ko-di-ak! Ko-di-ak!" Both men nod to each other, then meet at center ring, and the fists fly! Kodiak with the punches! Simply Beautiful with the chops! Punch! Chop! Punch! Chop! Punch! Punch! PUNCH! And a Irish Whip sends Simply Beautiful careening into the corner. He crashes into the turnbuckles, then turns around in time to get a clothesline in the corner! SB slumps down, and Kodiak climbs to the second rope, raising an arm over Simply Beautiful's head. But no punches come! Simply Beautiful grabs Kodiak's legs, and with a mighty cry... POWERBOMB! The crowd cheers as Simply Beautiul goes for a cover! One! Two! And a kickout at two! SB kips up, turns back to the corner... TRIPLE... JUMP... MOONSAULT! Another pin! One! Two! And another kickout! Kevin Kodiak refuses to stay down! There's a title shot on the line! Simply Beautiful and Kodiak both begin rising to their feet, but Simply Beautiful is up first. He draws back, sizing up the lumberjack. Kodiak turns, SEXYKICK... NO! Kevin Kodiak ducks the kick, catches hold of Simply Beautiful... and answers with a SPINEBUSTER that shakes the ring! He hooks the leg! One! Two! Leg on the ropes! Kodiak, face grim with determination, takes SB by the leg, drags him to the middle of the ring... and goes to lock in the Bear Trap... but Simply Beautiful catches hold on one of his legs and shakes his head no! The two struggle... and Simply Beautiful squirms free! He scrambles up, Kodiak spinning to meet him... SEXYKICK! The lumberjack spits his gum into the third row and topples backwards like a mighty redwood! Simply Beautiful goes for the pin! One! Two! KICKOUT! The crowd goes BANANAS! Kodiak is down, and that kickout may have been all he had left. Simply Beautiful rises, sweat running off his face, and glances back at the corner. He crosses over, pulls himself up to the top rope... and the NAPW fans go to their feet along with him! Simply Beautiful flashes the front row a grin, then leaps! Kodiak stirs behind him! NEW! YORK! NIGHTMARE! Right into Kodiak's arms! Kevin Kodiak hauls up Simply Beautiful into a Fireman's hold! He goes to spin SB out for what looks like an F-5... but SB reverses it! INVERTED DDT! Kodiak is planted midring! SB turns him over and throws an arm over him! One! Two! THREE! FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner... SIMPLEEEEYYYYYYY BEEEAAUUUUTIFULLLLL! BILL HEWSON: He did it! My God he did it! Next week it's Simply Beautiful and Ravager... with the NAPW CHAMPIONSHIP ON THE LINE! JACK JONES: And a shame too! I mean, it's just like Kurt Castle said! Another undeserving punk gets a title shot, while Chris Casino gets screwed! Be that as it may, Jack Attack, Simply Beautiful is ecstatic! He basks for a second in the cheering of the fans, then turns and helps Kevin Kodiak to his feet. Kodiak smirks, then raises Simply Beautiful's arm! Great sportsmanship! SB and Kodiak shake hands, and Kevin Kodiak vacates the ring to give Simply Beautiful his moment.
BILL HEWSON: You always were a fashion plate. Our next match will feature Marcus Chamberlain versus the debuting "Yours Truly" Adam Benjamin. Chamberlain has been struggling as of late, but he'll have to bring his game up tonight if he wants a win. Let's go to the ring. Warburton. And then begins a song familiar to all Bryan Danielson & ROH fans. Euro's eighties anthem "The Final Countdown." Adam Benjamin walks out to the ring, pausing before rolling in to a decent response. FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from Manchester England, he is "YOURS TRULY" ADAMMMM BENJAMINNNN! Benjamin steps up on the bottom rope and raises an arm, then hits a corner and focuses on the curtain. Nonpoint's "Bullet With A Name On It" comes on. FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent, from Boston Massachussets... MARCUS CHAMBERLAINNNNNN! And... hm. Nobody's coming. The crowd is looking for Chamberlain to come out, but nobody's sweeping through that curtain. BILL HEWSON: Marcus Chamberlain set to take on Adam Benjamin tonight, but he doesn't seem to --- oh my goodness! There's Marcus Chamberlain, but Jack Attack take a look --- he's covered in blood! My goodness, he's busted wide open! JACK JONES: Holy hell! The music cuts out as Chamberlain stumbles forward, blood pouring from his forehead and down his chest. He looks like he's been in a damn car wreck. He stumbles down to his knees, barely holding himself up by the guardrail. Adam Benjamin with a look of confusion on his face when LIGHTS OUT JACK JONES: Not paying the power bill won't help this company, Caliber! BILL HEWSON: The lights have gone out, what in the world is going on... Lights on BILL HEWSON: SEBASTIEN MARTYR! Martyr has attacked Benjamin while the lights were out! They come back on, and the crowd pays witness to Sebastien Martyr hitting THE SACRIFICE for the second time tonight on "Yours Truly." A huge impact and Benjamin is down as Martyr looks down on him. Martyr's gaze lingers on Benjamin as he throws his arms up in the "X" signal he's been doing for weeks now. BILL HEWSON: For some reason unknown to anybody but himself, Sebastien Martyr has attacked "Yours Truly" Adam Benjamin here tonight. We apologize for not bringing you an advertised match but Sebastien Martyr... Jack Attack, what do you even make of this man? JACK JONES: He beat up Adam Benjamin and probably blooded Marcus Chamberlain. And I gotta tell you, I get off on that. BILL HEWSON: We'll be right back as soon as we get some order restored --- wait a minute, I just got word that Rex Caliber has an announcement to make when we return!
REX CALIBER: I ain't gonna waste too much of your time, but I got a bone to pick with Kurt Castle. Alright Castle, you don't want to wrestle in a four-corner match --- spit on a chance at the NAPW Championship --- screw with a great match I made... well alright. But here's what I'm going to do! Chad Kurtis isn't wrestling tonight, but I just talked to him at the hospital and he's gonna be here next week come hell or damn highwater to wrestle Kurt Castle for the unified Provincial and TV titles! But Kurt Castle, you know what, you got out of a four-corner match this week... BUT YOU AIN'T GETTING OUT OF ONE NEXT WEEK! The crowd wants to know! BILL HEWSON: The crowd wants to know! JACK JONES: ... did I hear an echo? Back to Rex. REX CALIBER: So damn I tell you what, next week the Provincial and Television titles will be unified... in a FOUR CORNER ELIMINATION MATCH! You got the Provincial Champion "THE DEVASTATOR" KURT CASTLE! The Television Champion, "THE SHOW" CHAD KURTIS! Now as for the next two, a man all of you hate, a man I booted out of the building last week but a man who nonetheless has held the Provincial Title three times and holds the longest reign ever... "THE LEMONDROP KID" LLOYD REES! (boooo) But there's four men in that, and if we're talking about record-makers... then we gotta talk about NAPW's longest reigning, most-defending, two-time double J son of a bitch... JEFF MOTHER(BLEEP)ING JAMES. Crowd goes crazy! REX CALIBER: I know Chad Kurtis that Kentucky boy is gonna love the chance to kick three more asses, and as for you Castle... hell, if you don't wrestle next week then you lose your title anyways. Four wrestlers, two champions enter... and only one champion walks out! Rex heads back through the curtain as the crowd cheers for a big match, seems like some of these folks are going to head to Calgary for the match next week. BILL HEWSON: Unbelievable! The TV and Provincial titles are going to be unified, and it's going to be one helluva match to do it! Don't go away!
BILL HEWSON: And here come the former tag team champions the MIDNIGHT COWBOYS, looking to get back into title contention here. JACK JONES: They shouldn't need to earn another tag title shot! This is the team that broke up The New & Improved D-X, Hewson. They've earned one MILLION title shots. Forever. On Earths Prime through X. Stone & Clint get in the ring, Papa Z on the outside. Wolfboy is on the outside for The Famous Monsters. Now? Here come The Untouchables, the team of Jay O'Brien & Kenny Krenshov. BILL HEWSON: The rules are simple. A wrestler is eliminated when he is thrown over the top rope and both feet touch the floor! Uniquely tonight, this is a team Battle Royale, so the last man standing takes the win for his team. And it's gettin' on in Edmonton! JACK JONES: That rhyme was so forced, Hewson. Forced, maybe Jack Jones, but the action is on. The Untouchables barely get in the ring when they're swarmed by everybody already in the ring! Everybody that is, except the Midnight Cowboys who hang back a moment, grinning. Krenshov roars and spills folks everywhich where, everybody except The Angry American. Who is big and angry. Kurtis and Krenshov go at it while The Midnight Cowboys, opportunists, pick up the pieces. Clint tries to toss Jeff James out, he holds on. Stone chops away on Jay O'Brien, that's an interesting match up. Kurtis trying to muscle Krenshov out, that's probably not the best way to do it. Krenshov brings the hammer down on Kurtis' back, that doesn't get him to relinquish, another big one loosens the man's grip. Krenshov sends Matthew Kurtis to the ropes, annnnd... WHOA! The Famous Monsters attempting to eliminate Prince Darko & Thomas Young! The Foundation slip out of the way, and Matthew Kurtis with momentum hits both monsters with a huge clothesline... and they go toppling over the top rope! The Monsters are eliminated, but wait a minute, The Foundation from behind! They each grab a leg and as big as Matt Kurtis is, dammit, you're still subject to the laws of physics. And Matt Kurtis goes headlong over the top rope. His partner Lyndsey Valentine, replacing Chad Kurtis, is still in the match... BILL HEWSON: But not for long! Oh my gosh, KRENSHOV has all one-hundred and thirty-five pounds of Lyndsey Valentine! JACK JONES: She stepped into the ring, Hewson, whatever happens to her is her own fault! BILL HEWSON: Krenshov has Lyndsey over his head --- TOSSED TO THE FLOOR WAIT! Matthew Kurtis just caught Lyndsey Valentine in his arms! He slides her back into the ring... and hell, she's still in this thing! Her feet did not touch the floor, Jack Attack. Good catch, Matt. In any event, Krenshov just BIG BOOTED the hell out of Clint Zellor while Jay O'Brien catches a charging Stone with a SUPERKICK. Good God. Krenshov picks up the elder Zellor by the afro and points to the sky... he tosses Clint over. One Cowboy down, and Stone has rolled to the ring apron holding his beautiful face. Damn. Jay O'Brien smirking, cockily, kicking at Stone. He stops to talk trash to the crowd... And pays for it as Lyndsey Valentine sends him over the top rope with a dropkick! Valentine has eliminated an Untouchable! That gets a big pop from the crowd. Krenshov would exact vengeance but he's being plagued by allllla da Foundation. James / Darko / Muerte / Dio are all attacking the hell out of Mr. Colossal, trying to put him out over the top rope. He's not going easily though... Krenshov seems to swell and scatter The Foundation. Young charges, trying for his running STO --- Krenshov doesn't budge, instead spinning Young around and quickly hitting a short-step lariat sending The Foundation member to the outside. James & Muerte however, hit the ropes and send a double-dropkick into Krenshov. Darko joins in as the Foundation/Krenshov war continues. BILL HEWSON: Here comes Lyndsey Valentine to help out --- Hey, Stone Zellor grabs her by the hair! Stone indeed has a handful of Lyndsey's hair. She gasps in pain, then twirls around and open-hand slaps Stone across the cheek. He recoils... then PIMP SLAP~. "I GOT SKILLZ, BITCH!" Valentine, furious, shows Stone what she thinks of his "skillz" by some furious forearms and kicks. She charges --- Stone with a back drop over the top! Lyndsey lands on the ring apron though as Stone turns her back to her. She gets back in the ring, and no doubt disgusted by Mr. Zellor, goes for a LOW BLOW. Wait. Hm. Well that's not usual. Stone raises an eyebrow and Lyndsey is holding her arm in pain. Balls of steel! Lyndsey swings at Stone, but this time he ducks under and catches her from behind with a back suplex, dumping her over the top rope dangerously. Lyndsey lands on the floor, she's out of the match. Stone Zellor grins on the ropes, then takes him some "opportunity". The Foundation trying to eliminate Krenshov, and here's Stone to upend an unsuspecting Jeff James. James is gone. BILL HEWSON: And we are down to the final four! Prince Darko, Dio Muerte, Stone Zellor and Krenshov! Looks like Stone Zellor wants an alliance with The Foundation to eliminate Krenshov? Well why didn't he do that before he eliminated Jeff James? JACK JONES: Hey Hewson, don't question the SKILLS! And indeed, the Cowboy, the Prince, and the... uh... Dio surround Krenshov. The Colossal one snorts and tells them to bring it. Stone darts first, he gets swatted away, here comes Dio, same deal, Stone and Darko at the same time getting Krenshov. Double irish whip by Darko & Muerte, double clothesline --- from KRENSHOV, who flattens the men. Then he eats a missile dropkick in the face from Stone Zellor, high-risk going to the top rope in a battle royale. Stone slaps Darko and Dio around, telling them to get up and help. They've got Krenshov against the ropes, what's this? Stone leads off with a clothesline to Krenshov! Dio gets one! Darko goes next and WHAT THE HELL --- Stone catches Dio Muerte and tosses him over the top rope, laughing the whole way. Darko turns around and BLASTS Stone with a big spinebuster, rattling the ring. But holy hell, Krenshov grabs Darko from behind --- gorilla press! He has Darko up high and TOSS. Right into Dio Muerte, who gets knocked back down to the ground by a flying darko. Down to two men, and certainly Krenshov seems to have easy pickings for Stone Zellor. He's not just going to toss the man, he's going to hit TOTAL ECLIPSE first. Well, he would, if Stone hadn't done the splits and punched him square in the jimmy Johnny Cage style. And like Goro, Krenshov staggers knock-kneed as Stone tries to get the man out of the ring. However black and blue his testicles are, Krenshov is still four hundred pounds of muscle and he ain't letting that happen. He gets the upper hand and tosses Stone over! Stone lands on the ring apron, Krenshov swings, Stone ducks, gets a shoulder-block through the ropes. And now Stone grabs Krenshov by the head and tries to pull him over! Momentum could be on Stone's side... wait a minute! Krenshov tries to pull Stone back into the ring, Stone kicking the air, and then BOTH MEN TOPPLE TO THE OUTSIDE in a heap! JACK JONES: DAMN YOU, PHYSICS! BILL HEWSON: Wait a minute, they both went out... John Sharplin and Dick Kiebiech are trying to determine who hit the ground first, but it's almost impossible to tell who did. FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee's official decision is that BOTH Krenshov and Stone Zellor hit the outside at the same time! Therefore, we have TWO winners to the match-up! Stone Zellor and Papa Z take off, laughing. They'll take it! SKILLZ. Meanwhile Krenshov gets back in the ring. He's yelling out, veins throbbing in his forehead. "COME ON! SOMEBODY COME OUT! FIGHT ME, YOU COWARDS! YOU DIDN'T BEAT ME! COME ON OUT! WHERE ARE YOU?" Oh dear, that temper of his is close to blowing... BILL HEWSON: The match is over, Krenshov. Deal with it already! JACK JONES: It ain't over til he says it's over. That's brisk baby! BILL HEWSON: That's what? Will you be serious --- GONG. A traditional Japanese song, followed by something that sounds like, oh, Zamfir's "The Lonely Shepherd." BILL HEWSON: And here comes... it's SAKAI! JACK JONES: What? I thought we saw the end of Next Generation last week! Sakai steps out in traditional kung-fu garb, the crowd popping. Krenshov smiles sickly, saying "You want some more?" Sakai walks to the ring, silent. He steps to the ring apron, Krenshov says "oh come in." Sakai begins to --- and Krenshov charges. Sakai however, slips back out of the ropes and sidesteps Krenshov's lariat. He sends a high back kick into Krenshov's face OVER the top rope, still on the ring apron! Sakai leaps into the ring with a front flip and sends a spinning backhand chop right to the bridge of Krenshov's nose. Krenshov howls in pain, then quickly asserts his domanince with several hard blows. He sends Sakai to the ropes... Sakai slides between Krenshov's legs --- spins around --- and GOOD GOD shoots both of his feet out, one into the back of each of Krenshov's knees. The monster roars in pain, the crowd hushed. Krenshov stays up, but then, inevitably falls to his knees, gasping in pain. BILL HEWSON: Oh my gosh. Sakai has cut the big man down to size with that vicious attack! JACK JONES: HE SHOULD BE THROWN OUT OF NAPW! BILL HEWSON: This master of martial arts has taken vengeance on The Untouchables for the sick attack on his partner, Santiago last week. Will Next Generation be ready for their tag title shot next week? JACK JONES: Will the locker room survive Krenshov? Sakai enters the way he came, quietly and with dignity. In the ring Krenshov is pulling himself up to his feet, wincing in pain. He's shaking with anger at being taken down by Sakai...
BILL HEWSON: That's... That's quite all right. Obviously if you married the girl, your first date ended well, even with the "ice breaker". Awkward. If only something could ease us onto another topic... "PATH" The Champ is here. And he doesn't look happy. He storms to the ring, and takes the microphone from Frank Warburton. RAVAGER: I came here tonight for one simple reason. To prove that I am the best in this business. I thought I proved that last week when I took out the most decorated man in NAPW history, but apparently that wasn't enough. I get attacked after the match. I lose my focus at the TEAM Invitational. And now I'm back where I started. So you can imagine my eagerness to fight David Banks tonight. I spent the week preparing for a match against a rising star. One who would like nothing better to take down the NAPW champ. I get all focused... And my opponent gets himself kicked out of the building. Because he would rather attack somebody else than make a name for himself against the top man in the fed. The fans boo. RAVAGER: So here I stand without an opponent. ... This week. We just saw three men fight for a shot at my title. Three men who represent the future of this company. Any one of them could make my life hell if given the opportunity. But only one could come out on top. Congratulations Simply Beautiful. We meet again, only this time I have something to lose, and even more to prove. You've worked your ass off ever since you arrived in NAPW. You've proven yourself to be worthy of a title shot. Now you have to step your game up even higher. Now you have to hope you didn't give everything you had to get to this moment. Because if you don't bring everything to our match next week... (chuckles) It will be a very long climb for you to get back up to the top. Trust me. I know. But that's not the only business I have right now. It seems The Untouchables... Major boos. RAVAGER: You boys keep getting involved in my matches. You keep trying to undermine my title reign. And yet here I stand. With the belt Casino wants so dearly. So dearly that he seems to forget he has a title of his own to defend. You keep losing focus on me, Chrissy, pretty soon, you'll be without that sham belt of yours. And then what will you hit me in the back of the head with? You might just have to come at me face to face. And something tells me you're not ready for that. Well, you don't get to run anymore. On April 17th, you better be ready. Believe me. I am. But it will have to wait a few more weeks. Because I notice I'm still without an opponent for Sole Survivor II. Now, I don't know what Rex has up his sleeve. All I know is that at the last Sole Survivor, I lost my belt without ever being pinned or forced to submit. Something I don't expect to happen again. So to whoever gets the chance of a lifetime, just know one thing... Lace em up, it's Nottingham Lace screaming its guitar melody out of the loud speaker. The fans erupt with cheers! BILL HEWSON: IT'S KRYENIK! JACK JONES: Oh great, what does he want? Somebody let him know that it wasn't me who put that stink bomb in his hotel room... Billy Kryenik, with his tag team title on his shoulder has walked out to the ring. He looks all business, with his blond hair spiked up and messy. His blue suit, trimmed and proper. RAVAGER: Billy. I never thanked you and Tommy for helping me out last week. But if you're out here for the reason I think you're out here, we may have some issues... Kryenik asks for the microphone from the NAPW Champion. Ravager shrugs and hands it over. KRYENIK: Ravager, let me get one thing clear before I start. I DID NOT come out here to pick a fight with you tonight. I know you're hot from Banks being ejected. I know, you just want a fight. You want competition. The fans boo a little bit. They know what's coming. KRYENIK: If anyone can understand that, it's me. Since I came back to NAPW I've taken on all men who have tried to take me out. I thrive on competition... I LIVE to wrestle and I'd die defending my pride. You are well aware of that. Ravager nods KRYENIK: But I am a man who has a desire to better himself. A man who NEEDS to continue to showcase what I have, to please these great NAPW fans. The fans applaud and cheer. KRYENIK: And that's exactly what I'm going to do. You see Ravager, I have a ton of respect for you. I honor your efforts as Champion of this company. You deserved the title when you won it. Hell, you still deserve to hold it... Now imagine being me... With a one way ticket to a title shot at any time in 2007. Imagine having three men, two of which are a pair of my biggest enemiesÉ You know them well: Chris Casino and Kurt Castle. The crowd boos. KRYENIK: They both have titles that I desire... They both need to have their jaws knocked off so they'd shut the hell up for a little while. But I'm afraid they donŐt have what I want. YOU Have what I want. Billy points at Ravager. Ravager's face turns to stone, with a slight smirk. The Champion will not be intimidated. KRYENIK: Now don't get me wrong. Like I said, I respect you as champion... But right now we're in the middle of a warzone with the Untouchables. If you've heard Kenny Krenshov as of late; there's a new goal... North American Pro Wrestling... The crowd boos... KRYENIK: And they are going to use all the power they can muster to make this happen. Those four men of the Untouchables will not rest until they have what they want... Unless someone stops them. That someone? That someone is ME. Billy points to himself and the crowd reacts with a mixture of emotions. KRYENIK: You're a great Champion Ravager... A great leader... But it's time for a NEW LEADER. It's time for the new FACE of NAPW to grab hold of those reigns and ride the horses of apocalypse over the Untouchable sea of fireÉ It's time for the Year of the DOOMRIDER! If you want competition? If you want a fight? Then you got one! March 28th 2007 in Toronto, Ontario! Two hours from my hometown of Windsor... I'll give you your fight. I'll give you your competition. And we'll see which one of us DESERVES to lead NAPW into the hellfire of North American Pro Wrestling! Billy drops the microphone. Ravager stands tall, unphased by Billy's words. The two step toe to toe with one another. Ravager holds the NAPW title in Kryenik's face. Kryenik smirks. Ravager smirks. But then Ravager pulls the title back, and puts it over his shoulder. Mouths something to the effect of "I'm not ready to give this up yet." Kryenik's smirk is gone, replaced by an intense glare, matched by the champion's. BILL HEWSON: Oh My God! There's going to be a fight alright! Sole Survivor! Kryenik! Ravager! Unbelievable! We have to go to commercial!
JACK JONES: Great. Fine. Whatever. Please stop talking to me. BILL HEWSON: Gladly! Ladies and gentlemen, our next match is one I never thought we would see. It will be the explosion of The New & Improved D-X: Bruce "THE BEAST" Richards taking on his former partner STYLIN' KYLE ROBERTS! Let's take a look at how it came to this. Cut to a video montage showing the various events leading up to tonight. Waaay back from Lethal Lottery when Bruce and Kyle were pitted against one another. Winning the fourth tag titles. Losing them to Celtic Assassins... regaining them in January. Midnight Cowboys! So many title defenses! And then finally, Stylin' Kyle blasting Bruce accidentally with a steel chair in the COLD SNAP title defense. With Bruce down, the Cowboys pin Kyle for the titles and the end of D-X. Rex Caliber lifts the "never team again" stipulation. But Kyle blasts Bruce in the face with a chair! The ring bell! The Bear-Tamer! Promos from the two men... and tonight, they go at it. The Dynasty... Is dead. FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first, hailing from St. Albert, Alberta, weighing in at two hundred and seventy pounds, he is Bruuuuce "The Beast!" Riiiiichaaaards. Public Enemy's driving guitar line hits as the crowd goes banana! Out comes Bruce Richards, and he's looking to hurt somebody real bad! Bruce climbs through the ropes, and stalks the ring, waiting for his former tag team partner. FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent! From Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan-- The crowd boos loudly. Warburton tries to make himself heard over the din. FRANK WARBURTON: Weighing in at two hundred and fifty-six pounds, he is Stylin' Kyyyyle Rooooobeeeeeerrts!
"I AM THE MAN, BABY! THAT'S WHAT I AM That's the Philosopher Kings, but where the hell's Kyle Roberts? The music stops, and Bruce is still glaring at the entrance. No sign of Kyle. He looks around, trying to make sure that Kyle wouldn't be ambushing him from behind. BILL HEWSON: Where the hell is Kyle Roberts? JACK JONES: Maybe he came to his senses. That Bruce Richards looks like a caged tiger in the ring. Kyle's music plays once again, as the horns make a crescendo. No, no Kyle coming to the ring. Oh, wait, here's somebody. Wait, what? Is that? Bruce's eyes open in shock to see his former legal counsel, Ryan Kingston, enter. He's holding a microphone. RYAN KINGSTON: I'm sorry, Bruce. I got a call from Kyle yesterday. He hired me to come here tonight and read a statement. Bruce's eyes flash with anger. "What? He's ducking me?" RYAN KINGSTON: (clears his throat) Ahem. "Hello, fans. Hey, Bruce. I'm sorry I couldn't be there tonight, but I thought it was more important to fly down to North Carolina for the Outlaw Pro Wrestling Assassination Tango. I know it's in a few days, but I thought the vacation and extra training would do me good. You wouldn't want me to go into a tournament like that after having the living hell beaten out of me, would you, Bruce?" Bruce shakes his head in disbelief. RYAN KINGSTON: Um, "Besides, it's not like the..." Ryan looks around at the crowd, shrugs and continues on. RYAN KINGSTON: "It's not like the Edmonton fans deserve to see me perform." The crowd boos. RYAN KINGSTON: (to the crowd) I'm sorry. I'm just reading what he hired me to read. "Those sorry-assed idiots don't deserve a Kyle Roberts match tonight. Which is why I asked Rex Caliber to hold off on this money-making, crowd-drawing match of epic proportions for a few weeks." Bruce is livid. "WHAT? He did what?" RYAN KINGSTON: "So, in Toronto, Ontario, where a match of this magnitude SHOULD be held, it will be Stylin' Kyle Roberts versus Bruce "The Beast" Richards. At Sole Survivor." JACK JONES: That Roberts is a class act. What a way to boost up the pay-per-view. BILL HEWSON: Kyle and Bruce won't wrestle for another three weeks! And the Beast is looking very, very angry. He was looking forward to beating the stuffing out of Kyle tonight. RYAN KINGSTON: I'm sorry, Bruce. Kyle hired me to read that out. No hard feelings, right? Bruce Richards exits the ring, looking for things to throw. Kingston leaves as Bruce spots the announcing table. JACK JONES: Oh, god. What's he doing? Face it, Bruce! You're not wrestling tonight! Bruce knocks over the table, his face completely red. He then storms towards the back. The crowd is disappointed to not see Kyle get the whupping of his life here tonight. Jones and Hewson are standing back as the ring crew sets their table back up. JACK JONES: Oh, jeez, I think I just wet myself. BILL HEWSON: What? Really? JACK JONES: My water fell into my lap, okay? Good a time as any to go to commercial.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen! This is our main event, and it will be contested under SUPERSTAR RULES! Making his way to the ring, from Las Vegas, Nevada, weighing in at ... Oh crap! Warburton is brushed aside as Tommy Deathrow runs in from the crowd and dives at the Pure Honor champ with a sloppy but effective Sandmanesque plancha over the top rope! The bell rings and this match is on! Referee Morgan Smythe wisely stands back and lets the men fight. She'll count the fall when needed. Deathrow starts to lay in with punches on Casino, trying to bust the man open. Havok gets a thumb in Deathrow's eye, and pulls the man off his charge. Deathrow swings wildly, connecting with Havok's temple. Deathrow takes a second to get his vision back, grins his sick grin, then whips Havok into the ring post! Havok goes down, and Deathrow... hits the TNT on Havok! A skull f***** on the floor! And the fans go wild! JACK JONES: Havok is just a manager! How could Deathrow do that!? BILL HEWSON: Very easily, from the look of things... Deathrow gets up and turns his attention to Casino. Casino tries to kick Deathrow away but is met for his troubles by a big fist. Deathrow grabs Casino by the hair and drags him a few feet, then tosses him over the guardrail with a big fist. The crowd is going nuts. Deathrow climbs over and grabs Casino... sends him back over the guardrail into the aisle. Deathrow grabs a beer out of a fans hand and chugs it down, crushing the can on his head. It's Sandman appreciate night! Deathrow climbs over the guardrail --- but is met by a superkick from Casino. Casino quickly checks on his manager, who is now bloodied. And with a look of rage, Casino picks Tommy up and slams him against the ring barrier! He lays in with the boots to his fallen opponent. And now he's telling the fans in the front row to move... BILL HEWSON: It always amazes me how accommodating our fans are... Casino lays Deathrow out across a row of chairs. He climbs up to the ring apron. And now to the top rope. Oh, this can't be good... Casino with a flying elbow to the outside! He and Deathrow are lost in a pile of chairs as the Fans are on their feet chanting Holy S*it!!! But the move took a bit out of Casino too, and he's not able to capitalize right away. He slowly drapes his arm over Deathrow. Smythe counts! One... Two... Deathrow gets his shoulder up! Both men slowly get to their knees. Casino uses a chair to pull himself up. He sits down in the chair, and nails a rising Deathrow with a stiff punch. Deathrow falls back, then is back up! He gets in a chair of his own, and nails Casino with a stiff punch! We got ourselves a bar fight here! Casino with a punch! Deathrow holds his jaw, grins, but doesn't go down. Deathrow with a punch! Casino looks like he's about to go down, but regains his balance, and throws a shot of his own! It hits Deathrow above the eye, and the Superstar is busted open! But he doesn't go down! And he gets his punch! Nails Casino! His eye looks like it will be swelling shut anytime soon! But he doesn't fall! Casino punches! Deathrow punches! Casino! Deathrow! Casino! Deathrow! Neither man going down! Casino starting to bleed as well as he gets in one more shot, but it barely fazes Tommy Deathrow! Tommy fires away, you can't brawl with Tommy Deathrow and hope to win. Tommy Deathrow with a shot, another, another... he rears back for the big haymaker and... Casino maces Deathrow! He had the can hidden (in his tights? His boots? Nobody noticed) and now he has the advantage. The fans boo harshly as Casino goes for the easy way out. BILL HEWSON: This is a black day for bar fights! Casino should be ashamed. JACK JONES: If you read the Bar Fighting Rule Book, you'll see that that was totally legal. Look, I have a copy right here... BILL HEWSON: Um, Jack, you just crossed out Hamlet and wrote in Bar Fighting Rule Book. JACK JONES: Eh. They're both pretty much the same thing. Casino is taking control on the blinded Deathrow. He tosses the Superstar.. into the ring? WTF! A wrestling match has no place in Superstar rules! Oh thank goodness, Casino has tossed a steel chair into the ring. Sanity prevails. ... No wait. Casino wedges the chair between the middle and top rope. He drags Deathrow to his feet and hard Irish whips him into the chair! Deathrow crumples to the mat, his face now crimson red, and casino goes for the cover! One... Two... Deathrow kicks out! Actually, more of a twitch, but his shoulder comes off the mat. Casino rolls his eyes, wondering what he has to do to put his opponent down. He picks Deathrow up... Running STO! He... DEATHROW REVERSES INTO A DDT!! He covers! One... Two... CASINO KICKS OUT!! Deathrow is still blinded, the blood making things even worse. He flails punches around wildly. He barley misses Morgan Smythe! Casino ducks! Raul Havok has finally gotten back up! He gets on the ring apron just as Deathrow swings.. and Deathrow connects! Havok back down, smacking his head as he hits the floor! Casino elbows Deathrow in the back of the head! He grabs the chair and lays it out on the mat, then hooks up Deathrow for a brainbuster! Casino holds the man up, letting all the blood rush to Deathrow's head... Deathrow gets a thumb to Casino's eye! Casino drops Deathrow, who somehow manages to land on his feet! He garbs Casino and nails a neckbreaker! Casino hits the chair on impact! Deathrow covers! One... Two... It's Casino's turn to lifelessly twitch his way out of a pinfall! Deathrow seems to have most of his vision back, as he stumbles out of the ring, looking for plunder. He goes to the back, and comes back with a shopping cart loaded with all kinds of stuff. But the first thing he grabs? A hockey stick. The fans give a nice pop to this as Deathrow goes back into the ring, and trips a rising Casino! Casino falls flat on his back, and Deathrow winds up for a slapshot! Smack in Casino's junk! Casino howls in pain (come on, who wouldn't?) as the fans get a "Sign him Lowe" chant going. Deathrow tosses the stick away, as the blade is broken (and it's a two minute penalty for playing with a broken stick). He goes back to the cart, and this time finds a golf club. He goes back, and tees up, ready to knock Casino's nuts to the eighteenth hole! But the Pure Honor champ has a trick up his sleeve! Actually, he just gets a boot up under Deathrow's chin, and knocks the man back. Casino gingerly gets to his feet. He grabs the club, and nails Deathrow across the back with it, bending the club beyond any repair. And now it's Casino's turn to get a toy. He starts going through the cart, tossing out a staple gun, three light tubes taped together, a cloth sack more than likely containing thumbtacks, a VCR, a cement block. Finally the cart is empty. Casino smirks, drags Deathrow outside, then places him in the cart. BILL HEWSON: This is so dangerous! JACK JONES: I know! You ever have someone clip your ankle with one of those? BILL HEWSON: I know! Doesn't that hurt? JACK JONES: It does! But Casino has more than clipped ankles on his mind. He gets up a run, and starts to push the cart towards the wall! He's going to ram Deathrow into the wall! He gets up a head of steam and lets go... And the cart smashes against the far wall! Too bad the fans attention wasn't on it! Deathrow manages to get himself turned around, and gets a sunset flip, out of the cart, onto Casino! Casino hits the ground hard and Deathrow covers! One... Two... Casino kicks out! Deathrow is showing some frustration now. He goes under the ring, and pulls out a table! The fans are loving this even more! But where is Deathrow going? He has the table set up underneath the bleachers. This will not end well. Deathrow grabs Casino by the hair, and starts to drag him to the top of the bleachers. Fans start to scatter, both to get out of the way, and to get the best view possible. Because there are some bad intentions here. Bad intentions, and the potential for something awesomely violent. Casino tries to fight Deathrow off, but Deathrow is not letting go. He nails casino with a knee to the head, then drags him further up the stairs. Casino tries to low blow Deathrow, but Deathrow gets his legs together, trapping Casino's arm. Casino gets his head slammed against the steps, and finally he's at the top of the bleachers. Deathrow has that look in his eye. There's only evil there. He drags Casino to the edge of the bleachers... And sets up for the Deathrow Driver. Jack Jones and Bill Hewson are saying something right now. But even with their microphones, they are drowned out but an arena full of fans who want one thing: Casino crippled. Deathrow tries to get him up. Casino grabs onto Deathrow's legs. Deathrow punches Casino in the back, the kidneys, anything to get him to let go. Deathrow is deadly focused on getting this move in. If it hits, this match, maybe Casino's career, is over. Deathrow loosens up on the hold, grabs Casino by the hair, and slams him head first into the wall. he goes back to try for the Driver again, but is distracted by a bloody Raul Havok, who just will not die. He has followed the two men to the top of the bleachers, and he has the bag of thumb tacks in his hand. Deathrow lets go of Casino and grabs Havok! Havok drops the bag, and Deathrow pushes Havok down the stairs! The fans pop huge! Deathrow turns back to Casino... Casino tosses a handful of thumbtacks into Deathrow's face! Deathrow yells in pain, Casino grabs Deathrow by the hair --- And tosses him off the bleachers into the tables below! Deathrow lands in an explosion of splinters and blood. Casino stumbles down the stairs, still carrying the bag of thumb tacks. He brushes past Havok, who miraculously is still moving. Casino dumps the rest of the tacks onto the floor. He doesn't bother trying to pin Deathrow. Not yet. He drags a limp Deathrow to the tacks and hooks the arms... BANKRUPT ONTO THE TACKS ON THE FLOOR And the cover. One Two... Three. A shower of beer cups sails down from the fans as a bloody Casino raises his arms in the air. FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of this match: CHRIS CASINOOOOOOO! Casino drags Havok to his feet, and the bloody Untouchables get the Hell out of Polish Hall. Their winning ways continue. But look at the lengths they went to. We see a shot of a bloodied Deathrow as we go off the air...
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