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"The Nexus One" Rex Caliber is standing in the center of the ring. Around him, hundreds of wrestling fans have packed out the Moose Jaw Eagle's Hall.

REX CALIBER: This is Tuesday Night Fights! This is the FINAL FIGHT, right here from Moose Jaw Saskatchewan!

Cheap pop, yet damn real.

REX CALIBER: This is the Final Fight, and you know I gotta come out here and say a few words. I ain't gonna take up too much of your time because I know you didn't come here to see a retired, broken down bald-headed sexy machine --- well, maybe that hot chick in the front row did...

Laughter, and chants of "ONE MORE MATCH." Rex grins.

REX CALIBER: You know almost a year and a half ago a bunch of underpaid wrestlers none of you ever heard of went into the NAIT gym back in Edmonton and tore the house off. This company, this show was built on the backs of some damn wrestlers. Guys like ... BRUCE THE BEAST RICHARDS! (big pop) Guys like the hometown boy Stylin' Kyle Roberts (HUGE boos)... well, maybe he got the bum's rush. Guys like the NAPW Heavyweight Champion RAVAGER!

Huge cheers! The crowd chants "RAV-A-GER, RAV-A-GER!" Rex waits for the crowd to quiet down before continuing.

REX CALIBER: A lot of names, lot of names. NAPW was built on the backs of my Partner in Crimes STATIC (cheers!), on the backs of the Strongman LOBO (cheers!), and those crazy drunk bastards the DECAPITATORS (CHEERS!). NAPW, you know... Tuesday Night Fights owes a helluva lot to all those men... TNF owes a lot to one man in particular.

The crowd begins to buzz.

REX CALIBER: Or should I say ONE LETTER, REAL LOUD, NAPW WAS BUILT ON THE BACK OF THE MOTHER(BLEEP)ING D!

The crowd pops! And yet, there is confusion, some mans booing, some remembering the way D! left NAPW. But the memory of the man inspires so much.

REX CALIBER: So tonight is the ending of an era! At Sole Survivor II, it's time for the new to step it up! And right now I'm gonna say to each of you that NAPW WILL NOT DIE! THANK YOU! GOOD NIGHT!

Rex drops the microphone and walks out of the ring. The crowd begins to chant. "THANK YOU, REX! THANK YOU, REX"... and then they seque into a new chant.

"THANK YOU ALL!"

BILL HEWSON: Welcome once again and for the last time to New Alberta Pro Wrestling's TUESDAY NIGHT FIGHTS! We are live from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan and what a show we have for you tonight! Provincial title on the line, and two huge six-man tag contests! I'm Bill Hewson alongside Jack "Attack" Jones, and what can you say about Tommy Deathrow & The Foundation taking on Sebastien Martyr & The Midnight Cowboys under SUPERSTAR rules?

JACK JONES: I just hope NAPW doesn't get sued, a match like with men like that, somebody's going to get hurt. But you want to talk about a six-man tag, what a main event! All three Untouchables --- Chris Casino, KRENSHOV and Jay O'Brien --- taking on Ravager and Next Generation. Like lambs being led to the slaughter, eh Hewson?

BILL HEWSON: I'd hardly think that. Ravager and Chris Casino on opposite corners of the ring just weeks away from their first singles encounter on April 17th in Edmonton. A match that has been building for over one year. Right now, let's go to the ring! It's the big Four Corners match to decide who will get to enter the Sole Survivor match up at the thirtieth position.

JACK JONES: A very important match Bill. Entering the Sole Survivor battle royal at number thirty certainly has it advantages! But, I already know who is going to come out on top of this one; my man Dio Muerte!!

BILL HEWSON: Well Jack, everyone is allowed to have their opinion. Let's not wait another second!! Frank Warburton, take it away!!

FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is a Four Corner Match to decide the number thirtieth entrant in the Sole Survivor match up! Introducing first, from The Mean Streets of Newfoundland, he weights in at three hundred and fifteen pounds......NEEWWWFYYY JAAACK!!

"Lonely Train" by Black Sour Cherry hits the speakers of the arena as Newfy Jack, with Charlie in hand, walks out from behind the curtain and hits the ring. The crowd is unsure how to react to the NAPW new comer. He does talk to a cod fish after all.

BILL HEWSON: Newfy Jack has turned a few heads since coming to the NAPW and he is looking to turn a few more here with the big win tonight.

JACK JONES: The NAPW is only big enough for one Newfie, and that man is the "LDK" Lloyd Rees...

FRANK WARBURTON: Next hailing from Calgary, Alberta. He weights in at two hundred and eighty pounds...SAMM "STORM" FINNN!!

"Enter Sandman" by Metallica leads the way for Sam Finn as he makes his way to an NAPW ring for the last time.

BIIL HEWSON: Finn looks to leave a mark on the NAPW before he moves on!

JACK JONES: Well this is certainly his chance.

FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponent from Hollywood, Florida, weighting in two hundred and twenty eight pounds....DIO MUERTEEE!!

"Battle" by Gangstarr blares through the airwaves of the arena. The ever-cocky Muerte makes his way to the ring, twirling his bat, to boos from the fans. The crowd are not too fond of Dio.

BILL HEWSON: This guy makes me sick!! He is so brash and cocky!! Someone needs to teach him a lesson.

JACK JONES: Bill, don't be so stupid!! This man is going to walk away with the win here tonight and head straight to Sole Survivor with a lot of momentum and the thirtieth position.

FRANK WARBURTON: And finally, coming to us today from Lloyd Minster, Alberta. He weights in at two hundred and thirty one pounds and is the first ever NAPW Extreme Jobber Champion!!...."BAD BOY" JOEY MAALLOONE!!

The theme from Cops begins to play and the NAPW Extreme Jobber Champion makes his way out onto the ramp. The crowd actually seem to be enjoying this charade as Joey makes his way to the ring showing off the championship belt like it actually has meaning.

BILL HEWSON: The crowd are getting a kick out of this Jack!

JACK JONES: Look at this moron!! He is parading around with that belt like it's the NAPW Championship!!

DING DING

BILL HEWSON: Referee Morgan Smythe has called for the bell and this one is underway

JACK JONES: And it looks like Malone and Finn are going to start this one off...

Newfy Jack and Dio Muerte take opposite corners as Joey Malone and Sam Finn meet in the center of the ring. They lock up, and Finn takes control of the NAPW Extreme Jobber Champion quickly. Finn locks on a STANDING SIDE HEADLOCK!! The crowd starting to get behind Malone a little and he shoves Sam Finn to the ropes. Finn rebounds; leap frog over the ducking Malone. Sam returns again, clothesline attempt by Malone ducked by Finn as he grabs the arm of "Bad Boy"...FLOAT OVER DDT!! Malone is down and Finn takes advantage, kicking Joey in the side. Sam Finn now drags Malone back to his feet. Finn looking to land a FLURRY OF PUNCHES but, Joey blocks the first punch and throws one of his own. Malone Irish whips Finn to the corner, to bad for Finn; it's the corner where Newfy Jack is standing. He punches Sam Finn in the back of the head and hops in the ring to meet a rushing Joey Malone...

BILL HEWSON: What Newfy Jack did there is completely legal. This match is being contested under Lucha Style Rules...

JACK JONES: It should make for some good excitement!!

CRUSH!

Newfy Jack just nailed the oncoming "Bad Boy" with a vicious NEWFY LARIAT and the beating does not stop there. Jack now has a staggering Malone on his feet, RIGHT! LEFT! RIGHT! Malone continues to stagger and Newfy Jack seems to be relishing in it. Jack locks on a front face lock and delivers a VERTICAL SUPLEX to the dazed Malone. Pin attempt...ONE! TWO! NO! Only two! Jack has a few quick words for Smythe but waste no time turning his attention back to Joey. Gabbing a hand full of hair, Malone is once again back to his feet. Looks like Newfy Jack wants to nail Malone with another Newfy Lariat, but Joey somehow has the presence of mind to duck the move. But, Jack also has the presence of mind to lock on THE PASS OUT!

BILL HEWSON: This could be it!! The Pass Out is locked on...

JACK JONES: And it doesn't look like Malone is going to be able to do much about it! I mean, not that in any situation he would really be able to do much about it.

But, Jack does not have Malone on the mat and Joey is forcing him toward the corner. Dio Muerte is right there. He slaps Newfy Jack on the back and jumps into the match and Jack gets out of the ring resentfully. It's all Muerte now as he takes control of Malone who has been in this match since the beginning, sending him to and empty corner. Dio rushes Malone, shoulder first into Malone. Muerte quick to follow up with a BULLDOG out of the corner!! Dio Muerte pulls Joey back to his feet with out hesitation...FISHERMAN BUSTER!! Pin attempt! ONE!! TWO!! Broken up by Sam Finn!! Muerte has a few words for Finn but he needs to turn his attention back to Malone who is back to his feet...SCHOOL BOY PIN ATTEMPT BY MALONE ON MUERTE!! ONE!! ONLY ONE!! Both men back to their feet, lighting quick SHUFFLE SIDEKICK to Malone sends him over the ropes and Newfy Jack takes his place in the ring.

BILL HEWSON: This match is great so far!! Malone putting a good showing!!

JACK JONES: Thank God that jackass is finally out of the ring, I was staring to fall asleep.

Muerte is talking trash to Malone who is flat on his ass after the stiff kick. Dio turns to find himself face-to-face with Newfy Jack who is quick to deliver a kick to the abdomen and fold Muerte in half. Text-book DDT crumples Dio, the pin...ONE! TWO! KICK OUT! Jack back to his feet and brings Dio with him. Irish Whip to the ropes, Muerte rebounds, TILT-A-WHIRL BACK BREAKER BY JACK!! Newfy Jack now off the ropes BIG ELBOW DROP!! Another pin...ONE! TWO! KICK OUT AGAIN! Jack is obviously frustrated and is looking to end this one. Sets Dio Muerte up...PILE DRIVER! But wait! Jack is not going for the pin! He is heading to the top!

BILL HEWSON: Where the hell is Newfy Jack going?! He has Dio Muerte right where he wants him!

JACK JONES: Since when do three hundred and fifteen pounders fly?

Newfy Jack makes it to the top, not with the most grace, but he is there. He shows the crowd his elbow and gives it a few taps for luck. HE FLIES!!! No he doesn't - Finn knocks him off the top rope and to the floor outside the ring. Finn now in the ring with the cover on Muerte...ONE! TWO!! MUERTE KICKS OUT!!! Finn, seeing that he has a great opportunity locks on the SHARPSHOOTER!! Dio is in trouble here. Morgan Smythe hits the mat and ask Muerte if he is ready to quit but, he is not. Dio Muerte pushes himself up and starts to slowly pull himself toward the ropes. After what seems to be an eternity, he reaches the ropes, and Finn is force to break the hold. Sam Finn now has Dio Muerte locked in a double underhook position, but reverses it...BACK BODY DROP!! Both men are down, but Sam Finn is back to his feet first. He heads straight for Dio and throws a right, blocked!! Muerte throws one of his own, blocked!! Finn with another, ducked!! This leaves Finn with his back to Dio...ATOMIC DROP!! Muerte does not have the energy to follow up and takes this opportunity to catch a breather. Finn slowly turns to face Dio who is now approaching, attempting to deliver a stiff clothesline. Finn side steps Muerte, Malone it there to pull down the ropes. Dio Muerte is out, Newfy Jack is in!

BILL HEWSON: Dio Muerte and Joey Malone are tangling on the outside!

JACK JONES: Muerte forget about that loser and get yourself back in this match! You can't win on the outside!

Back in the ring, Newfy Jack and Sam Finn lock up. Finn quick to get behind Jack...GERMAN SUPLEX!! Sam with the cover! ONE! THAT'S IT!! JACK KICKS OUT!! Both men back to their feet and they lock up again. Finn on top again, EUROPEAN UPPERCUT shakes Jack. Finn off the ropes, BIG BOOT TO JACK'S FACE!! Cover again! ONE! TWO!! KICKOUT!!! Finn looking to get the submission with the Sharpshooter here, Jack fights him off, kicking him back!! Finn stumbles and Jack has made his way back to his feet. Newfy Jack has Finn in his sights...SPEAR!! NO!! Finn side stepped Jack's attempt and he nail the post!! Jack is hurting after that and Finn can see he has this one in the books...FLURRY OF PUNCHES!! THEY ALL CONNECT!!!

BILL HEWSON: Sam Finn is in good shape here!

JACK JONES: Why are Malone and Muerte still fighting on the outside?! They need to get back in this match!!

Finn puts Jack in position for the Symphony of Lightning on the top rope and follows right behind him, but Jack is not done yet. Punch to the face of Finn puts a damper on his plans. Another stiff right from Jack staggers Sam Finn even further. Yet another drops Finn in position on the ring mat. Newfy Jack stands on the top. He polishes his elbow again but, this time he flies! NAILS IT!! FLYING ELBOW DROP!! Jack, fired up, pops back to his feet bring the stunned Finn with him...THE TRIMMIN' and the pin...ONE! TWO!! THREE!!!

FRANK WARBURTON: Your winner and the man that will get to enter the Sole Survivor Match at position thirty...NEEEWFY JAAACK!

BILL HEWSON: Well looks like Newfy Jack will have a good advantage come Sole Survivor...

JACK JONES: Agreed! Still doesn't make me like him anymore.

JACK JONES: ...so you see, I was merely an innocent party, wrongfully accussed.

BILL HEWSON: That poor carnie.

JACK JONES: Actually, that "bearded lady" act made her filthy rich. And if my plan had succeeded, filthy and rich would be I!

BILL HEWSON: You're certainly one of those things.

FRANK WARBURTON: Our next contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Chicago Illinois... weighing two-hundred and five pounds, he is the Record-Setting former TV Champion... JEEEEEFF JAAAAAMES!

AkForty brings the backbeats and out comes Jeff James to a good pop. He slaps hands but gets to the ring, focused as usual.

BILL HEWSON: Young Jeff James on a bit of a losing streak the past few weeks here in NAPW, but you can not take anything away from this young man. He can beat you when you least expect it...

JACK JONES: James is good, you betcha, and he's never had to rely on a partner to bring him success.

And then! Public Enemy! And a big, bearded man in duster, cowboy hat and fingerless leather gloves storms out through the curtain like a bat out of hell.

BILL HEWSON: And neither has Bruce "The Beast" Richards! Jeff James is looking at one stiff challenge tonight from a pissed off Beast!

FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent! From St. Albert, Alberta, he weighs in at two-hundred and seventy pounds... a former five-time NAPW Tag Team Champion! BRUCE! THE BEAST! RICHARRRRRRDS!

The Beast gets in the ring, and looks out over the crowd. He takes the hat and coat off. There's only two inches of height difference between James and The Beast, who shake hands at the center of the ring, but The Beast carries an additional 65 pounds of muscle on his bigger frame. Ding ding ding! Tie-up in the middle of the ring. The Beast goes to the arm-bar, overpowering the smaller James. Beast wrings the arm. Countered by James as he somersaults through and pops back up, reversing the arm-wringer on The Beast. James tries to arm drag The Beast down, eh-eh. The Beast pulls back, high back suplex coming up, James flips out at the top and lands on his feet --- James grabs The Beast for a side-russian leg sweep, and that connects. James leaps high and drops the leg on The Beast's throat, but eh-eh! The Beast rolls out of the way and is quickly back to his feet. James, also quick to his feet, gets scooped up by The Beast and slammed down to the canvas with authority. Lateral press, kick-out without much trouble at two, but The Beast then pulls James up. Irish whip into the ropes and a big back body drop by The Beast puts James down. He gets back to his feet with that fighting spirit he has, and this time The Beast is there to grab him with a choke! Not just a choke, chokeSLAM --- James fights out with his elbows. He stuns Beast briefly, then hits the ropes and comes flying off with a cross body block... caught.

BILL HEWSON: James went airborne but just got caught by The Beast! Onto the shoulders! TORTURE RACK APPLIED!

JACK JONES: Torturous, just like Stylin' Kyle's Bear-Tamer!

BILL HEWSON: Will you stop?

James could submit, The Beast is wringing him! But it's probably not going to happen... and The Beast decides to get some IMPACT, dropping down to his knees with James on his shoulders still. *crack*. James hits the canvas like a shot as The Beast gets up. And The Beast... he's going to the top rope! That's 270 pounds, The Beast going up top for his moonsault no-doubt, he's ended many tag matches with that as the other-half of D-X's old "Down & Dirty" move. However, before The Beast can spring out, James gets a burst of desperate energy and flies up behind Bruce, clubbing him in the back. Bruce ends up on the turnbuckle facing out towards the crowd as Jeff James tries to set something up. It looks like he wants to get a SIDE EFFECT off the top rope! Bruce ain't having any of it, however! He holds onto the top rope and starts getting elbows into the face of James. And then Bruce hooks Jeff James... TOP ROPE SUPERPLEX! KABOOM! They shake the canvas as the crowd gets to their feet! The Beast makes a cover, one, two, no! James with a shoulder up.

BILL HEWSON: There's no quit in this kid, Jack Attack.

JACK JONES: I agree completely.

BILL HEWSON: You... do?

JACK JONES: Stylin' Kyle Roberts doesn't know how to spell "quit", much less say it.

BILL HEWSON: I was talking about Jeff James!

JACK JONES: And unlike Jeff James, Stylin' Kyle won't quit. Bruce won't get this lucky at Sole Survivor.

BILL HEWSON: Are you sure your glasses help your eyesight? Because it must not be safe to be this blind. BACK TO THE MATCH AT HAND... The Beast has James up, firing away at him in the corner.

James is getting pummelled. Bruce with an irish whip WHAM James sternumfirst into the opposite turnbuckle, he hits the canvas hard. The Beast then signals for the CHART ATTACK! He goes to pick Jeff James up --- James with a sudden hard strike. And another! He's hitting Bruce right in the face, now with a kick! Jeff James breaks free and hits the ropes, Jumping Superkick takes The Beast down! One, two, power kick-out. James isn't done, he sweeps a surprised Beast right back down --- standing moonsault --- double kneedrop! Crash Landing connects and Jeff James is on fire. The Beast is getting up... and uh oh. He turns his head and looks at James with a fierce glare. James boots Beast in the gut, no effect. The Beast reaches out and grabs the throat! CHOKESLAM! James is down, but The Beast isn't going for the pin! He pulls the straps down... oh shit. Beast grabs James and roughly hauls him up... pump-handle applied, The Beast yells out, and then literally sends James flying halfway across the wring with his suplex throw, James sputtering to a stop near the corner. James pulls himself up by the ropes as The Beast charges into the corner.

CRUSH.

The Beast steps aside as James stumbles forward, seeing stars. The Beast draws the thumb across his throat in classic DOUBLE A style... and hoists James up on his shoulders for the Chart Attack! James desperately slips off the back, trying to fight off The Beast. RIGHT HAND. The Beast levels James, and then hoists him up on the shoulders. SPIN OUT --- CHART ATTACK! James hits the canvas, bounces once, and then comes to rest on the canvas as The Beast hooks a leg for ONE, TWO, THREE!

FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner... THE BEAAAAAST!

BILL HEWSON: A big win tonight for Bruce Richards, and frankly I'm quite surprised that Stylin' Kyle Roberts didn't make an appearance out here. You know. To try to sabotage Richards one week before their big Sole Survivor match.

JACK JONES: Kyle Roberts is smarter than YOU, Hewson, so he can do whatever he wants. Besides, he has to keep these Moose Jaw fans salivating another thirty minutes.

BILL HEWSON: In any event... The Beast picks up a big "W" going into his Sole Survivor match against his former partner, Stylin' Kyle Roberts. We'll be right back!

BILL HEWSON: ...and that's why our greatest heroes are firefighters, police officers and doctors.

JACK JONES: Bleeding heart liberals.

FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is the FINISHER ONLY MATCH! To win, the wrestler must execute his signature move on the opponent --- the first one to do so will be declared the winner. NOW! Introducing first. Weighing in at an impressive three-hundred-fifteen, and with a height just as impressive at six feet eleven... "THE ANGRY AMERICAN!" MATHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW KURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTISSSSSSSSSS!

Don't Tread On Me rocks the arena, causing the crowd to jump on their feet and cheer for Matthew Kurtis like a war hero. Matthew Kurtis stampedes from the curtains. Matthew looks damn mad, his face is red and hot, you can feel the heat from a mile away.

JACK JONES: The hell is he mad for? I don't see Lyndsey, she leave his punk ass?

BILL HEWSON: For your information, no. Lyndsey is out with a concussion thanks to Krenshov's assault last week, which is why Matt Kurtis here is so pissed off --- wait a minute! What is he doing?

Nightmare rushes at Kurtis landing a clothesline to the back of his head. He rolls the down the aisle like a tumbleweed in the old western movies.

JACK JONES: Winning! ThatÕs exactly what that is.

BILL HEWSON: Sometimes I wonder where your ethics are.

JACK JONES: My pants!

BILL HEWSON: NIGHTMARE going after Kurtis here...sigh.

Nightmare slowly walks after Kurtis, picking his body up, seems as if he's going for a DDT. Kurtis was just playing possum, he rushes Nightmare into the apron back first.

JACK JONES: Deceiving bastard!

BILL HEWSON: No, he'sstrategic winner.

JACK JONES: Whatever, you're interrupting my match.

Kurtis now placing Nightmare into a Bearhug. Nightmare begins to rethink his ambush decision by screaming out in pain. Kurtis tosses his body to the floor like a pillow. He rolls Nightmare into the ring, leaving his head hanging off the apron. He begins to choke Nightmare with his forearms. Nightmare kicks in pain, squirming to break free, but, Kurtis isn't letting go. HeÕs smiling! Kurtis enjoys every bit of this. Kurtis drops his forearm on the forehead of Nightmare, pushing him into the ring. Kurtis enters the ring. Bell finally rings. DING DING. Kurtis now reaching over to the downed Nightmare. Nightmare doesnÕt agree, he lands a mean low blow to Kurtis. The rolls now reversed, Kurtis lays on the floor favoring his crotch region.

JACK JONES : That's prime professional wrestling right there.

Nightmare lands a heavy kick to the mid section of Kurtis, Nightmare now drags Kurtis to the middle rope, he begins to choke Kurtis with his knee. The referee walks over to intervene the choking. ONE! Nightmare doesn't care. TWO! Nightmare still is not listening. THREE! He bad mouths the referee. FOUR! Nightmare isn't stupid, he frees the hold. Rushes to one end of the ring, bounces of the ropes, Kurtis still on the ropes, he's going to get crushed. NO! Kurtis evading the move within seconds. Nightmare crushes his jewels and falls back, leaving his right leg on the middle rope. Kurtis takes advantage of this mishap. Kurtis exits the ring... stands on the apron...takes a good hold of Nightmare's leg. Raises Nightmare's leg. Nightmare knows what's next. He can only watch and stick his hands out.

BILL HEWSON: It's gonna take more then that to get out of this predicament.

Kurtis jumps off the apron taking Nightmare's leg along with him. Nightmare's leg snaps back fiercely from the recoil. The man rolls to the center of the ring favoring his knee. Kurtis enters the ring, he now approaches Nightmare slowly, like the killer in a slasher flick. Nightmare favors his knee with his right hand, and sticks his left hand up.

JACK JONES: It won't work. You gotta run. Run!

Nightmare, doesn't run, he begins to scoot towards the corner.

JACK JONES: HE'S GONNA GET YOU! NOOO!

BILL HEWSON: This isn't Scream Two!

Kurtis, still walking slow, heÕs just taking his merry old time. Nightmare on the other hand is getting closer and closer to the corner. Nightmare reaches the corner and Kurtis reaches him, Kurtis goes to place his hands on him. Nightmare, sticks his head out of the ring. The referee once again intervening, this time for Nightmare's sake, pushing Kurtis back and points to Nightmare sticking his head out.

JACK JONES: Billy, watch, I love this part. This is the part when Nightmare saves the day, just like in all of those movies.

BILL HEWSON: It's "See No Evil" all over again...

Nightmare finally getting back on his leg, he walks with a limp, he makes his way to Kurtis, who had turned his back. Nightmare taps on the shoulder of Kurtis. He has the Dreamcatcher locked in!

JACK JONES: I told you!

BILL HEWSON: Can he pick him up, with the shape that his leg is in?

Well, not when Kurtis kicks the crap out of Nightmare's leg. Nightmare spins out crashing into the mat. Kurtis, wanting to inflict as much damage as possible, goes for a Single Leg Boston Crab. Nightmare yells, he begins to pull on his hair. Kurtis frees the hold, but immediately grabs Nightmare's leg. He lifts it up high, then smashes it down into the canvas. Again he does it. Then again. He brings Nightmare to his feet, dusts off his shoulder. Nightmare wobbles.

BILL HEWSON: Nightmare seems to be somewhere else.

Kurtis rushes off the ropes he lands a HUGE Yakuza Kick to the right knee of Nightmare. The impact cause Nightmare to front flip. Kurtis reaches over to pick up Nightmare, out of desperation, Nightmare rakes his eye. He then tosses Kurtis into the corner. Nightmare limps a bit, he fights the pain, rushes towards Kurtis in the corner. BIG MISTAKE! Kurtis explodes on Nightmare with a huge Clothesline!

BILL HEWSON: That nearly decapitated Nightmare!

JACK JONES: It's mind games. That's all it is! Watch, he'll come back.

Kurtis drags Nightmare towards the center of the ring, now placing Nightmare in position for it. The crowd knows what's next, they go wild! He lifts him up, Nightmare now sitting on his shoulders. He elevates Nightmare... HE DROPS HIM DEAD CENTER IN THE RING! BLUE GRASS BOMB!

FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner! MAAAATHHHEWWW KURTISSSS!

The crowd goes bananas like a monkey's digestive track. Kurtis exits the ring, heading back stage leaving Nightmare laying in the ring. He only turns back once, before the curtain, to raise his arm high in victory.

BILL HEWSON: A big victory tonight for a big man, "The Angry American." I get the impression his mind is still somewhere else... probably on KRENSHOV, thinking of revenge for Lyndsey. When we come back, The FAMOUS MONSTERS OF HOLLYWEIRD will be in action for a special open challenge! Who will be their opponents? Find out, next.

Backstage at TNF. "The Moose" Mark Millar and "The Wild Rose" Wayne Wright are walking backstage.

MARK MILLAR: I'm tellin' you Wayne, we should be on the card tonight. The "last" Tuesday night fights! Are they forgettin' who wrestled in the first match on the very first Tuesday Night Fights? None other than "The Moose"!

WAYNE WRIGHT: It's garbage Mark. We're the heart and soul of the NAPW, and yet we have to work so much harder just to get a spot on the card! Maybe we need to teach one Mr. Rex Caliber a...

REX CALIBER: A what?

Rex Caliber has joined Grade "A" Alberta Attitude. He has two large bags with him.

WAYNE WRIGHT: We were just saying...

REX CALIBER: You guys want a match tonight? I'm more than willing to give you one. You just got to do one thing for me.

He hands a bag to Millar, and the other to Wright.

MARK MILLAR: What's with these?

REX CALIBER: Your ring attire.

WAYNE WRIGHT: (looks in the bag, then looks at Rex) And if we refuse to wear this?

REX CALIBER: Then you can watch the show with the rest of the fans. Though you'll need tickets. I'm not just going to toss out comps to anybody without double Ds, and Wayne, you're flat as a fourth grader. Mark those might be nearly a B cup but that's just wrong.

Wright and Millar glare at Rex. But they know a payday when they see one.

MARK MILLAR: Fine. But this may not work out the way you want it.

REX CALIBER: Trust me, this is the last way I wanted to handle things.

Rex walks off, leaving behind a very angry Moose and Wright. JACK JONES: ...anyways, that's the truth about cats and dogs.

BILL HEWSON: You sicken me.

FRANK WARBURTON: This next match is scheduled for one fall and it will be contested under SUPERSTAR RULES!!!

The crowd pops huge for this, what can you say? Sex and violence sell.

FRANK WARBURTON: Let me introduce first, our special guest Play By Play Announcer for this match, He makes his home in the REBEL Pro Wrestling promotion....ROB MARTINEZ!!

JACK JONES: Hey! Why wasn't I told about this?

BILL HEWSON: Two words...Hissy Fit.

"Killing In The Name Of..." By Rage Against The Machine pounds the sound system as a good looking Hispanic man in his mid twenties makes his way down to ringside.

BILL HEWSON: Welcome to the NAPW Rob!

JACK JONES: Bah!

ROB MARTINEZ: Thanks guys I'm pumped to be here in Canada calling what should be one Hell of a match with you guys!

FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing team number one, they weigh in at a combined weight of 684 lbs....They are The Midnight Cowboys and Sebastien Martyr!!

"Bang Bang To The Rock 'N' Roll" by Gabin hits and the crowd show their disapproval with a shower of boos. The three men emerge from the back and slowly head towards the ring. The camera catches a fan in the audience holding up a sign in the audience that reads "Kevin Kodiak = Ratings."

ROB MARTINEZ: Not much is known about this Sebastien Martyr character but The Midnight Cowboys are former NAPW Tag Team Champions beating non other than The New & Improved DX to win those straps!

JACK JONES: Blah blah blah!

As the trio of The Midnight Cowboys & Sebastien Martyr enter the ring, "We Fall, We Fall" by Dead Celebrity Status bleeds through the arena speakers.

ROB MARTINEZ: Here comes mayhem in the form of a Doomrider and The Foundation.

FRANK WARBURTON: And introducing team number two, they weigh in at a combined 726 lbs...They are "Superstar" Tommy Deathrow and The Foundation!!

"The New Foundation" by AkForty hits the speakers and the crowd goes nuts as Deathrow comes out flanked by The Foundation and their manager Mr. B. As they make their way to the ring we see that Prince Darko is toting a spool of razor wire, Thomas Young has a shovel and their manager? Well he has a small dark canvas bag that can only spell trouble.

JACK JONES: I wonder what's in the bag?

ROB MARTINEZ: Most likely something that will leave a permanent mark on a body! Look at all the stuff they brought to the ring, all they're missing is a chainsaw!

Deathrow and The Foundation slide into the ring and they're immediately jumped on by Martyr and The Cowboys! The referee hurriedly calls for the bell and Frank Warburton beats a hasty retreat as the six men tear into each other with reckless abandon. The six men quickly pair off, Deathrow & Martyr, Clint & Young, Stone & Darko. Clint manages to get the shovel away from Young and they tumble through the ropes to the outside. Stone is backed into a corner screaming in pain as Prince Darko happily digs the razor wire into his arm shredding the flesh. Tommy and Martyr are in the middle of the ring trading lefts and rights trying to see whose head will pop off first. Tommy starts to get the upper hand in the fist fight with Martyr when he takes a thumb to the eye that stops him cold. Martyr whips him into the ropes and connects with a big back elbow to the face that drops the Tag Team Champion. On the outside Young and Clint have crashed over the security barrier and are trading blows in the first row. Security does their best to keep fans away from the battling pair as they brawl along the ringside area. Back in the ring, Martyr drives a knee into the small of Darko's back giving Stone some much needed relief.

ROB MARTINEZ: Some lucky fans are getting their money's worth tonight!

Martyr shoves Darko against the turnbuckle, picks up the razor wire from the mat and digs it into the forehead of The Foundation member. Stone is looking down at his bloodied left arm and spots Deathrow getting slowly up to his feet. Stone charges him but Deathrow was playing possum and nails The Cowboy with a brutal Death Valley Driver! Stone quickly rolls to the outside as Tommy comes to the aid of Prince Darko who is currently having his head sliced to ribbons by Martyr. On the outside, Young has gained an advantage on Clint (thanks to a well placed kick to the groin) and is holding a chair high above his head to the enjoyment of the fans. Young smacks the chair across the skull of Clint and the former Tag Champion goes sprawling over the ring barricade and lands next to his partner Stone at ringside. Inside the ring Sebastien and Tommy are once again brawling as Prince Darko rolls to the outside. Prince Darko reaches under the ring and pulls out a table to a massive pop from the crowd. He props it up against the ring post and goes to pull Clint to his feet.

ROB MARTINEZ: Table for one, Mr. Zellor.

JACK JONES: You're retarded.

Darko has Clint up and tries to send him into the table only to have it reversed! Prince Darko hits the table hard but it doesn't break. Clint Zellor quickly hits a dropkick from behind and once again Darko smacks the table with force. Young meanwhile has Stone up to his feet and sends him shoulder first into the ring steps. Clint Zellor shoves Prince Darko to the floor, takes the abused table and sets it up along ringside. Before he can do anything else he gets clubbed from behind from Young and The Foundation member rolls one Cowboy onto the table. Stone spots his partner laying prone on the table and stumbles over to help only to take a boot to the gut from Young. Make it a Cowboy sandwich on the table. As Young holds down both men, Prince Darko climbs up to the ring apron, takes a running start and hits a flying body splash onto the Cowboys that send all three men through the table in an explosion of wood! As the crowd lets out a happy "Holy Shit!" chant we go back into the ring where Martyr has gotten the upper hand on Tommy. Martyr has Tommy backed into a corner and is kicking away at the ribs of the Doomrider.

ROB MARTINEZ: This Martyr is a tough bastard, he's got Tommy Deathrow in a bad way.

On the outside again as we see Young pulling more table out from under the ring to another huge pop. A bloodied Prince Darko has gotten back to his feet and with his partner the set up a double decker table construction that doesn't look good for The Midnight Cowboys. Martyr quickly rolls out of the ring and clubs Darko from behind with a double ax handle. Young tries to attack Martyr but takes a rake to the face. Martyr spins Young around and goes for what looks to be an atomic drop, only Martyr crotches Young onto the ringpost! Young drops to the floor in pain holding "his boys" as Martyr looks on pleased with his handiwork. We pan back into the ring and spot something curious, Tommy Deathrow wrapping his arm in the razor wire that Prince Darko brought to the ring. The Midnight Cowboys are now back to their feet and are all to happy to pick the carcasses of The Foundation. As Martyr turns back to the ring he's greeted with Tommy Deathrow flying out from between the second and top ropes! Martyr takes a razor wire clothesline across the face from the Doomrider and the fans love it!

JACK JONES: Jesus!

ROB MARTINEZ: Martyr is going to need some cosmetic surgery after that incredible move by Deathrow!

The Cowboys are on Tommy in a heartbeat with kicks and punches but Deathrow tries his best to fight off the floor. The razor wire is pulled from Deathrow's arm leaving several nasty cuts but the Doomrider doesn't seem to care or even notice. Martyr is back on his feet and several small cuts have been opened up on his face. He shoves aside the Cowboys and pulls Tommy to his feet only so that he can hurl him over the ring barricade and into a group of fans! As Martyr climbs over the barricade in chase of Tommy, The Midnight Cowboys get jumped by a revitalized Foundation! Young rolls Stone into the ring and follows him in as Darko sends Clint sailing into the ringpost at frightening speed. Mr. B, who has been keeping a safe distance away from the carnage, steps back into frame and pulls a metal trash can out from under the ring. He passes the trash can (and all of the goodies inside it) to Young. Tommy and Martyr are going at it through the crowd, as security does its best to keep fans safe from the two men. Back in the ring Young dumps out the contents of the trash can (a cookie sheet, a barbed wire wrapped chair & a pair of jumper cables) and then smashes the empty can against the head of one Stone Zellor!

ROB MARTINEZ: Hey, I wondered who stole my jumper cables.

Back in the crowd we see that Martyr and Deathrow are six rows back and still throwing punches. Tommy's arm is bleeding all over the place while Martyrs face looks like something from a scary movie. Deathrow kicks Martyr in the gut and plants him with a double arm DDT on the floor! At ringside Prince Dark has busted open Clint Zellor with some well placed right hands to the head. Prince Darko yells something to Mr. B and then returns to his Cowboy only to take a back drop that sends him crashing down with his legs across the ring steps. Mr. B unlaces the canvas bag in his possession and starts to pour hundreds of thumbtacks onto the lower table on the double decker construction. Inside the ring Young charges Stone for another shot with the now dented trash can only to take a dropkick to the knee that sends him down to the mat and face first into his own weapon of mass destruction. In the crowd, Tommy has Martyr draped over his shoulder and is carrying the man back to ringside! Fans reach out to pat Tommy on the back but he shoots them a look of disdain.

JACK JONES: This is way out of hand, even for these Superstar rules!

ROB MARTINEZ: Don't get all queasy on me Jack, this is violence at it's best!

Back at ringside Clint Zellor has confiscated the bag of tacks from Mr. B and hands it off to Stone Zellor who then pours the remaining tacks on the top table of this evil looking construction. Clint grabs Prince Darko, rams his head into the ring apron and then rolls him onto the bottom table! Prince Darko immediately tries to get up as dozens of thumbtacks impale him but Clint keeps him in his place with stiff right hands! In the ring, Stone Zellor uses a firemans carry to drop Young onto the top table! Young looks like a pin cushion as tacks are imbedded into his body. Clint quickly climbs up onto the ring apron and then up to the top turnbuckle as his partner does the same. The crowd almost goes into a hush as they can image the carnage that's about to come. Then it happens, both The Midnight Cowboys takes flight from opposite ringposts and hit Young on the top table! The entire structure collapses as The Cowboys and The Foundation are buried under wooden table derbies and hundreds of tacks! The chant of "Holy Shit" reverberates around the arena.

ROB MARTINEZ: Holy shit indeed!

Tommy and Martyr have arrived at ringside and Deathrow simply drops his man to the floor. Tommy inspects the rubble and whistles, something on his face tells us he wishes he could have been part of this massacre. Behind him Martyr is getting back to his feet and lurches towards Deathrow. Tommy quickly spins around and drops Martyr with a stiff clothesline. Tommy spies some wonderful toys laying on the ring apron and quickly goes to grab them. As Martyr is getting to his feet he gets a metal cookie sheet bounced off of his head! The dented cookie sheet flies into the crowd and a fan holds it up for all to see (souvenir!) Tommy grabs Martyr and rolls him into the ring following him in. On the outside we see the battered and bloodied remains of both The Midnight Cowboys and The Foundation start to stir. Inside the ring Tommy shoots Martyr into the ropes but drops his head a moment to early. Martyr nails a swinging neckbreaker that buys him some much needed time.

ROB MARTINEZ: All it took was one mistake by Tommy and Martyr is back in control!

Martyr stumbles over to the barbed wire steel chair, picks it up and smacks Tommy across the back with it as he tries to get to his feet! On the outside both The Midnight Cowboys and The Foundation have extracted themselves from the destruction of the double tables and start in on each other. Young grabs Stone Zellor and pulls him to his feet - LOW BLOW BY YOUNG! Hang on a tic, Young is howling in pain and holding his arm. Stone's got balls of steel, baby. Stone follows up the groinal goings-on with his patented pimp slap on Young. Inside the ring Martyr has laid the barred wire wrapped chair on the mat and sends Tommy into the ropes taking him up and over with a powerslam onto the chair! Martyr goes for what has to be the first pin attempt of the match and Tommy kicks out at two! Martyr looks stunned Tommy just looks pissed off. Stone Zellor rolls into the ring, charges Tommy but the Doomrider simply sidesteps him and sends him sailing out of the ring over the top rope! On the outside The Foundation have Clint hooked and hit their dreaded Game Over finisher on the outside! The crowd recoils in disgust, that was unbelievably vicious. Inside the ring Tommy hoists Martyr up for his Deathrow Driver but Sebastien wiggles out! Tommy is spun around and takes The Sacrifice from Martyr! Martyr rolls Tommy into position and the referee counts to three just as The Foundation try to make the save!

JACK JONES: Oh my god! Tommy got pinned in a superstars rules match! Again!

ROB MARTINEZ: This has to be considered an upset by anyone's standards!

The Foundation pulls Martyr to his feet and send him sailing out of the ring as they check on Tommy.

FRANK WARBURTON: The winners of the match, Sebastien Martyr and The Midnight Cowboys!!

BILL HEWSON: Okay I'm back, sorry Jack they were out of hot dogs.

ROB MARTINEZ: You missed one great match, Bill!

JACK JONES: Tell this guy to leave already.

BILL HEWSON: Rob, thanks for being here and we look forward to seeing you in REBEL!

ROB MARTINEZ: My pleasure, guys!

JACK JONES: ... I'm telling you, that baby has my eyes! I'll get the DNA test to prove it! I have every right to make a claim on that fortune!

BILL HEWSON: Jack, that's a new low.

JACK JONES: Come on!

BILL HEWSON: For one, that baby is Vietnamese, and two, the baby is adopted, and three, why would Angelina Jolie ever have anything to do with you?

JACK JONES: She was married to Billy Bob Thorton. I'm at least three steps above him.

BILL HEWSON: Hard to argue with that...

Metric's "Monster Hospital" interrupts the proceedings.

BILL HEWSON: Well, it's time for the Famous Monsters of Hollywood to make a name for themselves. Earlier last week they demanded some "competition" from Rex Caliber. He responded by giving them mystery opponents for tonight. Any speculation on the opponents Jack?

JACK JONES: You mean the Celtic Assassins' opponents?

BILL HEWSON: Jack, the Celtic Assassins are under suspension right now. If they were to violate it, they would be barred from wrestling in NAPW, perhaps even Alberta. I think we should be more concerned about this added stipulation! Just moments ago the Monsters proclaimed that if they lose this match, they will never wrestle in NAPW again!

JACK JONES: Oh, so that's how those Celtic goof offs will get out of this.

BILL HEWSON: But it's not them under the masks. We've been over this...

The fans pop as Frankie and Mikey emerge from the curtains. But the cheer turns to a bit of confusion...

BILL HEWSON: See? They're not even remotely the same size as the Assassins. The Monsters have been off for a week, and it looks like they used the time well. Mikey seems to have dropped some weight...

JACK JONES: Wasn't he taller the last time we saw him?

BILL HEWSON: I'm not one to question Wolfboy's training regimine...

FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall! Currently in the ring, weighing in at 565 pounds! Frankie, Mikey, The Famous Monsters of Hollyweird!

Scattered applause. But the fans know something is up.

FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents?

Awkward pause.

FRANK WARBURTON: Their opponents?

Silence. There are some murmurs from the crowd. And then "Clap for the Wolfman" breaks the silence, as Wolfboy makes his way to ringside. He grabs the microphone from Warburton.

WOLFBOY: If I could be serious for a moment. For the last few weeks, you, the NAPW fans, have been the victim's of fraud.

JACK JONES: Here it comes.

WOLFBOY: For all the support and money you've given this company, you deserve better. You don't deserve to be lied to. And that's why I'm going to take this chance to come clean.

At this point, Wolfboy peels off his fake beard and makeup to reveal...

BILL HEWSON: Leland Conrad! Attorney for the Celtic Assassins! This is a shocker!

JACK JONES: Oh please, Bill.

LELAND CONRAD: Yes, it is I Leland Conrad! ... Attorney for the Celtic Assassins? ... I totally accompanied them to the ring for one match? ... (sighs) Fine. After the Assassins were suspended, they realized that someone needed to take their places while I tried to find a loophole to get them back into the ring. So in come the "Famous Monsters". Who stole their moves. Created doubt in the fans minds! How dare you do that to them! And it to make it worse, they couldn't confront you without risking a lawsuit!

JACK JONES: But, he managed them. Is he just going to abandon established facts just to justify his own version of reality?

BILL HEWSON: Um, Jack. Didn't you defend a title you never won for six months, because "the belt looked better on you than on the champ"?

JACK JONES: ... When I do it it's cute.

LELAND CONRAD: ... But things have changed. All it took was one word from the new owner of NAPW. One simple word from Rex Caliber, and all our troubles were solved. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, REBEL Pro wrestlings newest tag team, "The Irish Adonis" Bobby O'Brady, and "The Scottish Wrecking Machine" Al Thoes! The Celtic Assass-

Conrad is cut off as Frankie and Mikey attack. "The Devil in the Kitchen" hits the speakers and the fans pop as Thoes and O'Brady hit the NAPW ring for the first time in over a month!

BILL HEWSON: Listen to this reaction!

JACK JONES: To two guys who're jumping ship! Come on Frankie, finish these goofs off once and for all!

O'Brady trades shots with Mikey, as Frankie goes for a power chin lock on Thoes. He tries to cinch it in, but Thoes just rolls his eyes, lays a hard elbow to Frankie's gut, then hits a POWER CLOTHESLINE! O'Brady grabs Mikey and choke slams him to the mat. He rolls Mikey onto his stomach, then lays in with a series of knee shots to the top of Mikey's head.

BILL HEWSON: The Celtic Assassins haven't missed a beat! It's like they never stopped wrestling!

JACK JONES: I'm going to the concessions stand. I refuse to even acknowledge this.

We hear the microphone hit the table and some muttering as Jones walks off. Meanwhile, in the ring, O'Brady his Frankie up for a power slam! He rams him into one turnbuckle! Then the second! The third! He rams him against all four then drives him into the mat with authority! There's only one Tam O'Shanterslam, accept no substitutes! And now Thoes has Mikey set up for... the haggis buster? No. They've been gone for so long, they need to end this match right. O'Brady goes to the top rope, and double stomps as Thoes hits the vertebreaker!

BILL HEWSON: CELTIC CRUSHER CONNECTS!

Referee John Sharplin, who never even tried to get control of this match, counts the fall as Thoes covers! One... Two... THREE!

FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners, THE CELTIC ASSASSINS!!

The fans cheer as Thoes and O'Brady check on Conrad, who is shaken but okay. O'Brady grabs the mic from Warburton.

O'BRADY: To all the NAPW fans. Thanks for ye support!

THOES: Our only hope is that the REBEL fans are as fan-friggen-tastic as you guys are!

The Assassins wave to the fans as they make what could be their last appearance in an NAPW ring. But as one era ends, another will begin soon enough... in REBEL Pro Wrestling!

JACK JONES: Sure, it's easy to go out and BUY headcheese, but there's just something about making it yourself that's just THAT much more satisfying.

BILL HEWSON: You make me sick. I mean, literally sick.

FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, hailing from MOOSE JAW, SASKATCHEWAN...

The crowd starts booing and hurling obscenities - and empty beer cups - immediately. They don't wait for a proper introduction. They know who's coming out from behind that curtain. And they don't much care for him.

FRANK WARBURTON: ...weighing in at two hundred and fifty-seven pounds! Stylin' KYLE ROBERTS!

"I am the man, baby
That's what I am
I'm a straight shooter
With a master plan"

The booing and rain of garbage only intensifies, and Kyle Roberts struts his way down to the ring, walking down there like he was bathing in sunlight and kittens. No hint of his mood can be gleaned from beneath his Ray-Ban sunglasses; he flashes a big, toothy grin as he walks up to Frank Warburton and gestures for him to hand over the mic.

KYLE ROBERTS: Well, well, well, it certainly is good to be back in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan!

The crowd, who had died down a little after he stepped into the ring, immediately starts up again with the abuse.

KYLE ROBERTS: You know, when I first heard that the NAPW was going to be coming here to my home town, I thought, "Oh, HELL no! I mean, I know the NAPW is in a bit of a tight spot, but have we really sunk so low as to try and suck money out of the poor yokels from the reject capital of Saskatchewan?" But then, after I had thought about it for a bit, I thought, "No, wait. NAPW really SHOULD go to Moose Jaw!"

The crowd is confused. A few people give a cheer. Could Stylin' Kyle be having a change of heart? Could the nostalgia be softening him a little? Could the possible shenanigans with his old high school sweetheart have made him appreciate life a little more?

KYLE ROBERTS: We should go to Moose Jaw so they can see how great I've become after I've kicked the dust of this loserville from my boots, and I can tell them EXACTLY what I think about them!

Ah. Of course. How could I have been sucked in like that?

KYLE ROBERTS: You people didn't come to see me when I was working my ass off in the minor leagues, but you pack the Civic Center to see me now? You don't DESERVE to see me wrestle! I should walk out of this ring right now! ...but I can't. Because if there's one thing Stylin' Kyle Roberts is, it's classy.

JACK JONES: So true, Hewson. He's a class act all the way!

BILL HEWSON: Did you say jackass?

JACK JONES: CLASS. ACT.

KYLE ROBERTS: So I'll stay here. I'll give you unwashed babboons the show you've been dying to see. And when you're back home with your cousin and your wife, you can say to her, "I saw Stylin' Kyle Roberts wrestle." And your life will be complete.

Kyle Roberts hands the microphone back to Frank Warburton, who looks at him strangely and finishes the introductions.

FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent. Hailing from Paducah, Kentucky! Weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds! He is "The Show"! CHAAAAAAD KUUUUURTIS!

Kid Rock! "Cocky"! The Show! He comes out from behind the curtain and the crowd POPS for him. They just can't wait to see their hometown boy get the tar kicked out of him by this man.

BILL HEWSON: If there's one guy who's as cocky as Stylin' Kyle Roberts, it's this man. This is a big match for the former TV Champ.

JACK JONES: He's cocky, all right. But he doesn't have anything to show for it. Stylin' Kyle's got the moves, the looks, and the unflappable poise. Just like the rest of us, Chad Kurtis only wishes he was like Stylin' Kyle.

BILL HEWSON: You need to get better people to idolize.

Chad Kurtis hops in the ring, and throws his hooded sweater into the crowd. He waves to a particularly friendly and well-endowed fan in the front row, and then COLLAPSES to his knees! Kyle Roberts, not waiting for the bell to start the match, rushed The Show while his back was turned, and hit him with a running clothesline! The bell goes NOW and Kyle Roberts continues his attack, grabbing the ropes and giving hard stomps to Chad Kurtis; one, two, three, four, five, and then Kyle makes a big show for the fans, who of course boo him. Chad Kurtis makes it to his feet, and Kyle turns around just in time to dodge a big kick. Kyle follows it up with the Polar-Izer! He goes in for the pin! This could be it already! One, two, The Show kicks out. Kyle Roberts pulls him up and goes for a belly to belly suplex, but Kurtis blocks it; Kyle tries again but another block by The Show, who reverses it and flips Kyle with a belly to belly of his own! He follows up with an elbow drop, which leaves Stylin' Kyle clutching his stomach and The Show catching his breath. The Show starts climbing the turnbuckle, but Kyle gets to his feet and rushes the corner, hoping to catch his opponent unawares, but The Show jumps down to the outside of the ropes, and Kyle Roberts runs HARD into the turnbuckle, and collapses. The Show takes advantage of his stunned opponent, and lifts Kyle to the top of the turnbuckle--FRANKENSTEINER! Stylin' Kyle is LAID OUT on the mat, and Chad Kurtis goes in for the pin! John Sharplin's right there to count the pinfall: one, two, th--Stylin' Kyle kicks out!

BILL HEWSON: Two near-falls early on in this match! These two men are really going at it.

JACK JONES: Kyle's got The Show right where he wants him.

BILL HEWSON: He wants him on top of the turnbuckle?

The Show is indeed on the top of the turnbuckle, and lets fly with the BME!! Kyle shudders after being hit with the Best Moonsault Ever, and The Show goes in for the pin! One, two thr--no, Stylin' Kyle gets a shoulder up! Two HUGE moves from Chad Kurtis, and Stylin' Kyle is reeling from the sudden onslaught. The Show doesn't give Kyle a chance to recover, and lifts him up, whipping him into the far ropes. Kurtis goes for a clothesline, but Kyle Roberts ducks and rebounds off the far ropes, charging right back at The Show, who leaps off the ropes and nails Kyle Roberts right in his man-sized chin with a springboard dropkick! Kyle Roberts falls backwards to rest on the ropes, and The Show goes over and lays a hard chop to the chest. Kyle shudders but doesn't move from the ropes, and The Show lays in again with a hard chop. This one gets Kyle's attention, and he stands up straight, and then thumbs Kurtis right in the eye! Kurtis stumbles backwards and the referee comes in to warn Kyle Roberts away from those kinds of dirty tactics, but he pushes right past the referee and kicks Chad Kurtis in the gut, then follows it up with a hard right, and finally an elbow to the face. Kurtis takes a step back to steady himself but doesn't fall over, taking every ounce of his strength just sto stand there and Stylin Kyle grins to the audience--and thumbs the other eye! Kurtis is covering his face with both of his hands, and John Sharplin again angrily admonishes Kyle Roberts, who plays along, uttering a feigned apology and hanging his head in shame as he turns back to his opponent, and Chad Kurtis LIFTS THAT HEAD RIGHT UP AGAIN WITH A SUPERKICK! Kyle Roberts stands there, stiff as a tree, then slowly topples backward, and Kurtis AGAIN with a pin attempt! One, two, thre--NO! SOMEHOW KYLE ROBERTS GETS A SHOULDER UP! Three pinfall attempts by The Show, but every time Kyle Roberts gets his shoulder up, every time a little slower than the next!

Kurtis takes a short breather in the corner, blinking his eyes, trying to clear his vision a little more, and Stylin' Kyle uses the ropes to pull himself to his feet. He charges Kurtis, lumbering a little but ultimately right on target, and delivers a running dropkick, and now both men are on the floor. Sharplin starts a ten-count, but Kyle's up on four and Kurtis is up at six; Kyle Roberts is on him, right hand, left hand, right hand, then a lock up for the MOOSE JAW DRIVER! Kyle Roberts goes in for the pin, one, two, three - Kurtis has his foot on the ropes! Kyle Roberts was a little TOO quick to pin there, didn't quite get Kurtis out of position, and now he's REALLY pissed, and starts choking Chad Kurtis! Sharplin starts the count, and Kyle lets go on four and seven-eighths. Sharplin is ENRAGED, and he screams at Kyle Roberts that if he flagrantly breaks the rules one more time he will be disqualified, and Kyle snorts at him "If you catch me, Sharplin!" He taps his head and sneers at the ref, then turns his attention back to his opponent, who's still lying on the mat. He runs at the ropes and goes up for the Lionsault, and hits...KNEES! Kurtis was just lying there catching his breath and he lifted his knees at the last possible second, and Kyle Roberts is stumbling around the ring holding his ribs. Chad Kurtis gets up and locks on a hold, and Kyle Roberts gets a German suplex! Kurtis rolls up and ANOTHER German! One more time...THREE GERMAN SUPLEXES! Chad Kurtis has gotten the momentum back in this match, and now HE goes in for a pinfall!

BILL HEWSON: KURTIS GETS THE LEGS! ONE! TWO! THREE---NO! This crowd thought that was it! What an unbelievable performance by "The Show" Chad Kurtis on the final Tuesday Night Fights!

Chad Kurtis, the frustration getting to him, stomps Kyle Roberts a few times and then marches away. Kyle gets back up, and Kurtis comes at him, but gets caught up in a Tilt-A-Whirl Back Breaker by Roberts, and now ROBERTS goes for the pin! Sharplin's there to count it again! ONE!! TWO!! THREE--THE SHOW KICKS OUT! At the last possible second, The Show kicks out, and Kyle Roberts cannot believe it! He's tearing what little hair he has left out of his head! He thought he had that match won! The two men meet up in the middle of the ring. Chop to the chest from The Show! Hard left hand from Kyle Roberts! Chop! Left! Chop! Left! Toe kick from The Show! Elbow to the face from Stylin' Kyle! These two men are just HAMMERING each other in the ring! Kyle Roberts tries for a grapple, but Chad Kurtis reverses it and gets behind him for a belly-to-back suplex, but Kyle Roberts reverses again for one of his own! The Show however lands on his feet --- but Kyle gets a double-leg takedown!

JACK JONES: Here it comes, Bill Hewson! Another submission victory for Stylin' Kyle Roberts!

BILL HEWSON: He has to get it on, first, Jack Attack --- And The Show isn't letting that happen! WAIT A MINUTE! ROLL UP! ROLL UP! ONE! TWO! TH--- REVERSED BY KYLE ROBERTS! AND --- ROBERTS HAS HIS FEET ON THE ROPES! THE REF DOESN'T SEE! ONE! TWO! NOT LIKE THIS! THREE!

FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of the match, by pinfall! KYLE ROBERTS!

The crowd BOOS and throws whatever garbage they didn't throw during Kyle's entrance as Sharplin raises Kyle's hand in victory, but he quickly tears his arm from Sharplin's grip and rolls out of the way, making is way to the back, walking backwards and grinning at his opponent. Chad Kurtis is kicking the ropes in the ring, and stares at Kyle Roberts, who just grins and taps his head. Smarter. Than. You.

JACK JONES: Chad Kurtis tried his very best, but he just couldn't beat Stylin' Kyle Roberts. There's no shame in losing to the greats.

BILL HEWSON: Kyle Roberts should be the one who's ashamed! He had to cheat to get the win over "The Show" Chad Kurtis.

JACK JONES: Whatever gets you the win, Hewson. Kyle Roberts is just smarter than--OH (BLEEP)!

Oh (BLEEP) is right. Because The Beast has just popped out from behind the curtain, arms folded, and the crowd just POPS. Kyle Roberts takes two more steps backwards towards the curtain, a little confused as to why the crowd has gone off their rocker, then turns and bumps RIGHT INTO his former partner. Kyle takes a step back and freezes, and there's a short pause that seems to last for a LONG time.

Until Bruce spears Kyle right back into the apron. Sylin' Kyle, all the wind knocked out of him, collapses to the floor, and The Beast is RIGHT on top of him, battering him with lefts and rights, Kyle Roberts holding his arms up over his head to protect himself from the assault. Five security officers rush the crazed Beast, tearing him off Kyle Roberts, who gets to his feet and just sneers at him. Bruce Richards pulls against the men holding him, snarling at Stylin' Kyle, who calmly takes a step forward and stares hard at the man who seems to be anger incarnate.

And spits right in his face.

The Beast TEARS his way out of the grip of the security guards, and leaps on Stylin' Kyle again. More security guards pour out from the back. This time both men pounding hell out of each other, security unable to tear them apart until Bruce Richards gets the upper hand--AND SLAMS KYLE ROBERTS'S HEAD INTO THE STEPS. Security finally manages to tear The Beast from his prey and drag him to the back, as he screams at the dazed, bleeding Kyle Roberts.

"YOU'RE DEAD, KYLE! YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!"

JACK JONES: The doctor said it wouldn't bleed so much if I kept my finger out of there.

BILL HEWSON: Charming.

FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the NAPW Provincial Championship! Introducing first, the challenger, weighing in at 262 pounds, hailing from British Columbia, KEVIN KODIAK!

The fans get on their feet as "Frankenstein" plays over the PA, and the 6'8" lumberjack in his sleeveless flannel shirt makes his way down to the ring.

BILL HEWSON: Lately Kevin Kodiak has come so close to holding NAPW gold, and tonight may just be his lucky night.

JACK JONES: Ugh, you're killing me Bill. This guy doesn't have a chance in hell, you know this, I knew this, LDK knows this, and hell, even Kevin Kodiak knows this.

Kodiak enters the ring by stepping over the top rope and throws his arms in the arm and lets out a large yell, and the fans give him a tremendous pop. All of that ends as "When the Lights Go Out" plays over the PA, and those cheers turn to boos as one of the most hated superstars on the roster makes his way to the ring.

FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent, the NAPW Provincial Champion, weighing in at 247 pounds, hailing from Newfoundland, he is "LDK" Lloyd Rees!

LDK comes out with his sights locked on Kodiak, a smirk on his face, and the Provincial Championship wrapped around his shoulder. John Salty is close behind waving the Newfoundland flag, and the fans give neither men any love. Rees struts down to the ring and hops up on the ring apron, demanding the referee ensures Kodiak steps back before he enters the ring. Kodiak backs up to the far end of the ring as Lloyd Rees slowly enters the ring with his opponent. The referee attempts to take the Provincial title from Rees, but he tells the ref to hold on, as he kisses his Provincial title, looks at it, and hesitantly hands the referee the title.

BILL HEWSON: A cheap shot already!? Lloyd had the referee distracted with handing over the belt, and John Salty just jammed Kodiak in the kidney with the flag stick!

Kodiak staggers forward holding his back, he turns to look at John Salty and LDK instantly capitalizes on his opportunity and slams a running forearm to the same area Ol' Salty skewered with the flag poll. Kodiak goes down to the mat and Rees lays the boots to his opponent, the referee signals for the bell, and the match is underway. Already the fans are irate for Rees' sneaky tactics.

JACK JONES: Kodiak was on the mat before the bell even sounded Bill, how the hell do you think this guy even has a chance?

BILL HEWSON: Real mature Jack! John Salty just took a damn cheap shot at Kodiak and Rees took advantage, how is that fair?

Rees pushes Kodiak on the bottom rope and plants both feet on the back of his neck, choking Kodiak with the bottom rope. The referee gives LDK a five count, and he smartly breaks at four, then gets in the referee's face, allowing Ol' Salty to grab Kodiak's head to continue to hold his neck down on that bottom rope. As soon as the referee turns, Ol' Salty breaks the hold and LDK goes back to laying the boots to Kodiak. The fans go ballistic.

BILL HEWSON: They aren't even giving this poor guy a chance! The Lemon Drop Kid is nothing but a coward!

JACK JONES: A coward? I call him a genius! He's the champion, and sometimes being a champion you have to make sacrifices.

BILL HEWSON: And what sacrifices has Lloyd Rees made?

JACK JONES: You hear all these boos? Rees sacrifices the fans love for his love of the Provincial Championship! He has his priorities set straight, unlike a lot of people around here.

BILL HEWSON: Give me a break!

LDK pushes Kodiak to his feet and into the nearest corner, instantly delivering a HARD knife-edge chop, followed by another, then he savagely grabs Kodiak by the throat and steps on the ropes for leverage. The referee gives him yet another five count and Rees breaks, raising his hand to the referee as if he's about to hit him. The referee gives him a stern warning, but that's all he can really do. LDK whips Kodiak into the corner-NO, Kodiak reverses and sends Rees into the corner, and follows it up with a huge splash! NO! Rees moved at the last second and his a low drop kick right to Kodiak's exposed, and already worked on kidney! Kodiak drops to a knee and grimaces in pain, as LDK smashes Kodiak's face into the middle turnbuckle, raises him back to his feet and plasters him with another knife-edge chop.

JACK JONES: I wouldn't be surprised if Kodiak finds a little blood in his urine after tonight!

LDK grabs Kodiak by the jaw and yells some obscenities, but Kodiak snaps to, grabs Rees by the head, and reverses the rolls by throwing him into the corner. Kodiak pummels the surprised LDK with some vicious hay makers in the corner! The referee gives Kodiak a five out, but Kodiak ignores the count, the referee has to rip him from the corner! Rees shakes off his shock, and nails the detained Kodiak with a low mule kick to the knee of the big man. Kodiak instantly goes down to a knee, Rees rounds to Kevin's back, grabs him in a rear-naked choke, and smashes a knee to sore kidney! Kodiak does down to both knees, and gurgles an attempt to scream. LDK wrenches harder with the choke, poises, and ANOTHER knee to the back of Kodiak! Rees releases the choke, and Kodiak falls on his face, writhing in agony. LDK goes off the ropes and comes back with a BRUTAL knee drop bullseye on the kidney! Rees rolls Kodiak over on his back and hooks the leg for the cover.

One...

Two...

No, not enough. LDK sits up, a tad upset with the speed of the referees count, and slaps the fallen Kodiak right across the face. Rees gets up and stands over Kodiak and slaps him again! The fans fill the complex with boos, but they turn to cheers as Kodiak suddenly shoots a hand up and grabs Rees by the throat! Kodiak shoots his other hand up for a two handed choke, and works his way to his feet with both hands around Rees' throat. As Kodiak gets to his feet he lifts Rees in the air and heaves him into the corner. Kodiak grabs Rees by the head, and tosses him into the middle of the ring like a rag doll! As Rees gets to his feet, Kodiak charges and hits a big spinning leg kick! Rees goes down and Kodiak covers as the fans cheer.

One...

Tw- No, one and a half. Kodiak, losing no momentum, gets Rees to his feet, sends him to the ropes, he comes back and LDK goes down to a huge double ax-hand chop! Rees grabs his chest as the air in his lungs is expelled and Kodiak picks him back up to his feet--locks him in a front head lock, picks him up, and a HUGE vertical suplex! Kodiak, grabbing his injured kidneys, rolls over and quickly covers LDK.

One...

Two...

Two is all he'll get, and Kodiak tries not to get frustrated with the referees count.

BILL HEWSON: If he would have hooked Rees' leg, it would have been over. At the same time, the split second it would have taken to hook the leg, Rees may have recovered.

JACK JONES: So what you're saying is... The Lemondrop Kid is the man, and no matter what, he would have kicked out from Kodiak's sad attempt of a pin. C'mon, nobody wins from a vertical suplex anyway!

Kodiak picks Rees up to his feet, sends him to the ropes, BC LARIAT! NO! Rees ducks, goes off the ropes, comes back and nails Kodiak in the kidney with a forearm! Kodiak instantly does down, and Rees stays on his knees, giving him a chance to recover from the last assault. Kodiak slowly climbs to his feet, and Rees hops to his feet, crouched down, poised for an attack. Ol' Salty jumps up on the apron near Kodiak, and Kodiak goes to grab Rees' manager, but Ol' Salty jumps down at the right second, LDK grabs Kodiak from behind and DDT FROM THE GREEN!

JACK JONES: LIGHTS OUT! That's all she wrote! This chapter is finished!

BILL HEWSON: Any more lame cliches you'd wish to share with us?

JACK JONES: Run towards the light Kodiak!

BILL HEWSON: Oh brother....

LDK hooks a leg and bridges up, the referee counts;

ONE....

TWO...

THR-NO! Kodiak kicks out! The fans go wild, and Rees can't believe it! Rees, overly frustrated, gets up and exits the ring, he instantly goes to the timekeepers table and throws the timekeeper from his chair. Rees grabs the steel fold up chair and re-enters the ring. Kodiak begins to get to his feet, and the referee is all over LDK. Rees pulls back, not caring what the referee is saying, Kodiak is up to one knee, Rees moves forward and-- the referee grabs the chair as Rees has it cocked all the way back! The referee wrestles away the chair, reprimands Rees and expels it to the outside, but wait, Ol' Salty on the outside, he slides in the Provincial title! LDK picks up the title, Kodiak back on his feet, he turns and BLAM! Kodiak goes back down after Rees smashes him in the face with championship gold. Rees tosses the title out, hooks the leg, and demands the now aware referee to make the count.

ONE...

TWO...

THREE! NO! KODIAK KICKS OUT AT THE LAST SECOND! REES CAN'T BELIEVE IT! THE FANS CAN'T BELIEVE IT! Rees gets up and yells at the referee and stomps around the ring completely frustrated! Ol' Salty gets up on the ring apron, and tries to enter the ring to yell at the referee, but the referee is in his face before he can enter. The two exchange words, and THE REFEREE TELLS SALTY THAT HE'S OUT OF HERE!

JACK JONES: He can't expel John Salty!

BILL HEWSON: Oh yes he can!

Ol' Salty throws a temper tantrum, but has no other choice but to stomp his way to out. Rees leaves the ring as well, is he? He's leaving with Ol' Salty! The referee starts a 10 count;

ONE...

TWO...

THREE...

FOUR...

LDK gets halfway up the entrance way, and turns to look at the ring.

FIVE...

SIX...

SEVEN...

"You Suck" chants rage throughout the building, and LDK begins to look nervous. Kodiak begins to stir...

EIGHT...

Rees is unsure of what to do...

NINE...

Rees runs back down to the ring and slides in at the last second! The referee warns him not to pull that move again or he'll end the match, Rees waves the referee off, and grabs Kevin Kodiak who is on all fours, and pulls him to his feet. Rees whips Kodiak into the ropes, but no! A reversal! Rees goes off the ropes, comes back and a HUGE NORTHERN BC LARIAT! LDK JUST HAD HIS HEAD TAKEN OFF BY THAT ONE! Kodiak drops down to a knee, grabbing his kidneys with one hand and his head with the other, and the fans begin to rally behind him, "KO-DI-AK! KO-DI-AK!" The big man in pain, but he shakes it off with the fans behind him, he gets to his feet and grabs LDK's right leg.

BILL HEWSON: Is this?

Kodiak wraps around and grabs LDK's left leg....

BILL HEWSON: IT IS! THE BEAR TRAP! KODIAK HAS IT LOCKED ON!

LDK instantly comes to from the pain, and yells out a blistering howl. Kodiak sits up for leverage, and Rees flails in utter pain. Rees looks for any sign of ropes, and sees that they aren't far. Fighting off the pain he stretches his arm out as he reaches for the bottom rope. Kodiak pulls on LDK's leg in an attempt to keep Rees at bay, but LDK reaches a bit further and wraps his fingers around the bottom rope.

JACK JONES: Never doubt the Lemon Drop Kid, Bill, never!

The referee tells a disappointed Kodiak to break the hold, and he does so reluctantly. Rees rolls out to the apron, and hoists himself up on the ropes. Kodiak gets up and goes for the Provincial champion, but Rees grabs his head and guillotine on the top rope! Kodiak goes down, unable to breath. LDK sees his chance, re-enters the ring, and grabs the massive legs of Kodiak. After seeing how big his legs are, Lloyd almost seems to have second thoughts about what he's going to do, but goes for it anyway. Oddly he maneuvers Kodiak's legs into position, and heaves Kodiak onto his stomach, pushes his knee right into Kodiak's exposed kidney, and locks in the Lance Cove Leglock! Rees' variation of the Texas Cloverleaf gives him a clear advantage by having his knee into the area of the injured kidney of Kodiak. The gigantic former lumberjack's face turns red as he tries to fight off the pain.

JACK JONES: Hah! You see that's a true technician, LDK worked on that kidney all match, and here's where it pays off!

The Lemon Drop Kid laughs as he thinks this is the curtain call, but no! With one huge push, Kodiak breaks the poorly applied hold with his huge legs, and sends Rees flat on his face!

BILL HEWSON: Those legs were just to big for even Lloyd Rees to apply his hold, Kodiak is still in this!

Kodiak instantly gets to the ropes and climbs to his feet, holding his kidneys. Rees climbs to his feet as well, and both men are exhausted. LDK rushes his opponent and fierce tenacity, but Kodiak smashes the rushing Rees in the face with a huge big boot! Rees is down, and the fans go wild. Kodiak looks all around the building, acknowledging his fans, and points to the sky!

BILL HEWSON: He's not going to do this is he?

Kodiak goes to the turnbuckle and climbs...

BILL HEWSON: This is risky...

Kodiak gets on the top rope and looks down at his opponent. He leaps...

BILL HEWSON: HE'S GOING FOR A TOP ROPE SPLASH...

It's almost slow motion, and all the fans are quiet. The big man flies through the air as if it were natural...

JACK JONES: C'MON LDK!

At the very last second, The Lemon Drop Kid rolls out of the way, and Kodiak smashes face first into the mat. Rees climbs over and makes the cover...

ONE....

TWO...

THREE!

JACK JONES: HAH! I told you, Kodiak wasn't even a challenge for the Lemon Drop Kid!

BILL HEWSON: Are you kidding me? Kodiak put up one of the most valiant efforts that I have ever seen.

JACK JONES: But look who's still the champion Bill!

BILL HEWSON: Kodiak still gave it his all, and came within inches of being the new Provincial Champion.

FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of this match by pinfall, and still NAPW Provincial Champion, "LDK" Lloyd Rees!

The referee attempts to raise the hand of Rees, but he tears his hand away and pushes Kodiak onto his back and begins to stomp on the beaten kidney of Kodiak. The referee tries to pull Rees away but he pushes the referee away, goes off the rope and nails a huge leaping knee drop in that same targeted area. The referee signals for the timekeeper to continue ringing the bell, and finally Lloyd ends his assault as the fans boo the Provincial champion as if he had just stole Christmas. Rees grabs his title, holds it high in the air, and exits stage left.

BILL HEWSON: What a bastard! Kodiak didn't deserve any of that! He came here to fight for a title and Rees played the coward the entire fight.

Kodiak begins to stir as the referee checks on him and we go to a commercial break.

JACK JONES: ... photos could be damaging to my career.

BILL HEWSON: Well, let's hope they don't fall into the wrong hands. And we're back!

FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the MAIN EVENT... the SIX MAN TAG TEAM MATCH UP!

"Untouchables" by Scarface and the heat is on! Flanked by JAY O'BRIEN and KENNY "The Colossal" KRENSHOV, CHRIS CASINO emerges from the curtains, his shiny NAPW Pure Honor Title belt over his shoulder. ELI POTTS steps in line behind them, as the trio begins making their way to the ring, sneering and smirking at the booing fans.

JACK JONES: What is wrong with these fans? This is the most powerful trio in professional wrestling! Show them some damn respect!

BILL HEWSON: I don't think these three really care what the fans think, Jack Attack.

Krenshov and O'Brien hold the ropes for Casino as he climbs into the ring, and holds what was once the proud Kiniski Cup up for the fans to "enjoy." Eli Potts applauds.

JACK JONES: It's a testament, Bill Hewson! No matter what lemons Chris Casino is handed, he's ALWAYS drinking sweet, sweet lemonade.

FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first... being accompanied to the ring by Eli Potts. Chris Casino. Kenny "The Colossal" Krenshov. Jay O'Brien. They are the UNNNNNTOUCHABLES!

GONG!

The boos turn to cheers as salsa music fills the hall! SAKAI and SANTIAGO emerge from the cutrains, with LEO MACK at their backs, and start down to the ring.

FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents. Weighing in at a combined weight of THREE HUNDRED and SEVENTY SEVEN pounds, and accompanied to the ring by Leo Mack. Sakai. Santiago. NEXT! GENERATIONNNNNN!

The two men slide into the ring... and are IMMEDIATELY attacked by Jay O'Brien and Kenny Krenshov! The crowd starts booing mercilessly as Casino tosses his belt down to Potts at ringside and joins in the beating. Warburton beats a hasty retreat, while Dick Kiebiech tries to get the Untouchables under control.

BILL HEWSON: Damn it! Can't the Untouchables do ANYTHING fairly!? Even ONCE!?

JACK JONES: Krenshov weighs almost as much as Next Generation COMBINED! Haw!

"Path" and the crowd goes ape! RAVAGER, the NAPW Champion, races to the ring, slides in, and LAYS into Jay O'Brien - who just happens to be the closest man. A few shots sends O'Brien rolling out of the ring, and seeing themselves suddenly one man short, the other two Untouchables wisely retreat to their corner, Casino shouting at Kiebiech to get Ravager under control. Ravager sneers and shouts at Next Generation to head for their corner. He points at Casino, who sneers back to him, and shouts down at Jay O'Brien to get into the ring and "take out the trash." O'Brien, all business now, obliges.

But Santiago isn't moving. He taps Ravager on the arm, and says something in spanish, pointing to the corner.

BILL HEWSON: I think Santiago wants to start this match, Jack Attack!

Ravager stares at him for an uncomfortably long moment... then nods and heads for the corner. Santiago looks past O'Brien... at Kenny "The Colossal" Krenshov.

JACK JONES: Is he CRAZY!? Doesn't he remember what Krenshov DID to him!? This match is OVER Bill Hewson. I'm calling it right now for the Untouchables.

Krenshov smirks... and switches places with Jay O'Brien. The Colossal cracks his kuckles and nods at Kiebiech to call for the bell.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Krenshov lunges forward to grapple with the luchalibre sensation, but Santiago is too fast for the giant. He ducks past him, hits the ropes, and DROPKICKS Krenshov right in the back of the knee! The crowd POPS. Krenshov teeters. Santiago hits the opposite ropes, and Dropkicks again, right into Krenshov's other knee! The crowd pops AGAIN. The huge man teeters again, snarling, then drops to one knee, clutching at his leg. Santiago goes to the ropes a third time... BULLDOG. Krenshov eats canvas! The crowd POPS HUGE! The Colossal Krenshov, flustered and spitting, turns over just in time to get a face full of SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT! The crowd is ON IT'S FEET!

JACK JONES: NO! IMPOSSIBLE!

With flourish, Santaigo hooks the leg! Kiebiech counts! One! Two! POWEROUT! Santiago literally flies across the ring! Krenshov RISES, eyes bugging out, face red with rage. He ROARS like a lion and charges as Santiago makes a tag to Sakai! Both men duck aside and Krenshov CRASHES into the Next Gen./Ravager corner with enough forrce to shake the ring. He turns in time to watch Sakai drop to all fours in front of him... BANZAI! Santiago collides with The Colossal to ANOTHER huge pop from the crowd! Krenshov staggers forward... TRIPS over Sakai, and TOPPLES LIKE A MIGHTY REDWOOD! Sakai with another pin! One! Two! And AGAIN Krenshov POWERS OUT! This time it's Sakai who is sent flying across the ring. Krenshov is THROUGH. He spits at Sakai, then reaches out and tags in a desperate Jay O'Brien.

O'Brien and Sakai lock up. What follows is a quick series of holds, grapples and reversals - two very technical wrestlers doing what they do best. The fans in the audience applaud as the pair break up, and shake out their arms. O'Brien, to his credit, seems grudgingly impressed by the Puro-style of Sakai. The two lock up a second time. Another series of grapples and reversals leaves O'Brien with a solid headlock on Sakai. He cranks back on it, trying to keep Sakai from escaping, but his oriental opponent starts throwing elbows into O'Brien's abdomen. O'Brien, refusing to let up, grimaces, and... SIDE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP. Sakai and O'Brien crash to the ring, and O'Brien scrambles over to Sakai's legs! He starts working to get Sakai locked into the Texas Cloverleaf! Sakai knows what's coming and clutches at O'Brien's leg, and the two grapple with one another, Jay trying to apply his painful hold, and Sakai trying to reverse it... but O'Brien locks it in! Texas Cloverleaf! Sakai cries out in pain... then starts POWERING O'BRIEN OVER! The two men, fairly evenly matched in size, start going over... and O'Brien, to stop himself from eating a faceful of canvas, needs to release the hold! Sakai, free catches his foot and turns what was a Texas Cloverleaf into the MUTA TRIBUTE! Now O'Brien is the one crying out in pain! The crowd starts chanting "Tap! Tap! Tap!" but it's just not to be... Eli Potts, behind Kiebiech's back, puches the bottom rope in just far enough for O'Brien to catch hold of it, and Kiebiech calls for a break. O'Brien nurses his back and Sakai spins over, and tags in... the NAPW Champion.

Ravager steps into the ring, eyes only for Chris Casino. Casino smirks and reaches out to O'Brien. The crowd starts howling - they want this tag more than anything at this moment in time! O'Brien reaches over to Casino... who withdraws his hand, grinning and shouts at O'Brien to "teach this poseur a lesson!" O'Brien laughs and the crowd BOOS! Ravager cracks his neck and latches onto O'Brien... NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! O'Brien skips across the mat like a stone over water, and clutches at his neck! Ravager doesn't let up. He plucks up O'Brien and starts stiffing him with headbutts! The crowd goes crazy-go-nuts, and O'Brien dizzily staggers to his corner and tags blindly. Casino ducks aside, pushing Krenshov into the tag. As O'Brien, clutching his head, rolls out of the ring, Krenshov steps in to meet the Champ. He reaches over to grab hold of the NAPW Champion, but Ravager steps forward to meet him and starts CHOPPING the EVER-LOVING CRAP out of Krenshov's chest! The giant grimaces, and staggers backward, but Ravager is relentless, shouting "Tag him in! Tag him in you bastard!" chile chopping away!

The crowd gets into it, chanting "Tag Him IN! Tag Him IN!" Leo Mack, at ringside, starts conducting them. Sakai and Santiago stomp on the apron to the beat! Casino angrily shouts at the crowd to shut the hell up! Krenshov's chest is RED and may even be BLEEDING a little! Ravager won't STOP! Finally, Krenshov SHOVES Ravager away - hard enough to send the Champion sailing into the far corner - and, clutching at his welted chest, roughly tags in an incredulous Chris Casino! The crowd POPS as Casino glares at Krenshov, but Krenshov is DONE. He rolls out of the ring.

Chris Casino steps into the ring to meet his opponent of April 17th, and the crowd is going wild. Ravager cracks his knuckles and shakes his arms. Chris Casino rolls his neck and flexes. The anticipation! THE ANTICIPATION!

And the two men collide! Casino gets an early headlock in, but Ravager reverses it into hold from behind. The Pure Honor Champion manages to slip out of that and catches one of Ravager's arms. He HURLS Ravager over with a hip toss, and then hits the ropes... Springboard... ELBOW! Right into the Champ's heart! Ravager rolls aside, and both men move to regain their feet. Casino is up first and throws his feet forward in a DROPKICK, right to Ravager's face! The NAPW Champion flails backwards, and clutches at his face, and Chris Casino rushes to the corner and takes the top rope in one swift movement! The crowd is on it's feet!

JACK JONES: Chis Casino FOR THE WIN, Bill Hewson!

And a heavily bandaged CLINT ZELLOR pushes the Pure Honor Champion off and out of the ring.

BILL HEWSON: What the... MIDNIGHT COWBOYS!?

Casino crashes and burns at ringside as CLINT and STONE ZELLOR, looking like they've been through a war (and they might as well have been), move on to pull down Sakai and Santiago from their corner! Next Generation is caught off guard, and as the crowd mercilessly boos the Midnight Cowboys the duo lay into their Sole Survivor opponents! Clint sends Santiago careening into the guardrail as Stone starts popping a few shots off on Sakai's chin! In the ring, Ravager has pulled himself up in a corner and is glaring at Casino, who is being helped to his feet by O'Brien and Krenshov. Casino angrily gestures at the ring and O'Brien and Krenshov both climb to the apron, staring down the NAPW Champion. Ravager rises, bracing to take on both men... when "Sick" BILLY KRYENIK and "Superstar" TOMMY DEATHROW fly by him!

JACK JONES: What the HELL are the DOOMriders DOING!?

Kryenik DROPKICKS Krenshov in the left leg! The giant's leg swings out from under him and he tumbles from the apron! A still-bloody Deathrow with a flying lariat has sent O'Brien crashing into Eli Potts, who's been shouting at Kiebiech to disqualify Ravager! The bell does start ringing as Kiebiech shouts down at the Midnight Cowboys to get lost! The NAPW Champion rolls out of the ring as Clint rolls Santiago in, and climbs in after him. Chris Casino also slides into the ring, and as Kryenik turns he gets SUPERKICKED by the Pure Honor Champion! This gets Deathrow fired up, and the second DOOMrider lays into Casino with fists-a-flying! Krenshov clambers back into the ring in time to LAY OUT Stone Zellor with a HARD right! O'Brien clambers in to save Chris Casino, while Sakai makes a save on Santaigo, NAILING Clint with an EXPLODER SUPLEX! Kenny "The Colossal" Krenshov hauls up "Sick" Billy Kryenik in a Gorilla Press...

and "The Angry American" MATTHEW KURTIS takes out his legs! "The Show" CHAD KURTIS joins his brother and two start STOMPING AWAY at the Colossal Krenshov!

BILL HEWSON: This is MADNESS! Run for you life Kiebiech!

While Senior Referee Dick Kiebieck scrambles to safety, the entire Foundation hits the ring! JEFF JAMES and the war-torn PRINCE DARKO enter the fray, while DIO MUERTE and THOMAS YOUNG - himself still stained red - begin tagling with O'Brien and Deathrow! KEVIN KODIAK! He picks out Clint Zellor and starts throwing huge roundhouse punches! NIGHTMARE! BLASTS Matt Kurtis with a Clothesline... only to get a face FULL OF CHAIR!

DAVID BANKS! LDK LLOYD REES! They start laying people out LEFT AND RIGHT!

JACK JONES: Holy HELL! Someone CALL THE COPS!

BILL HEWSON: This is BEDLAM, Jack Attack! BEDLAM! THE CELTIC ASSASSINS! OH MY GOD!

The crowd POPS HUGE as BOBBY O'BRADY and AL THOES crash the ring! The Celtic Assassins LAY into Banks and Rees! The ring is FULL OF BODIES! The fans in the audience are ON THEIR FEET! STYLIN' KYLE ROBERTS! He hits the ring and POLAR-IZERS Al Thoes into NEXT WEEK. He kips up, taps his head, shouting "Smarter Than YOU!" But BRUCE "The Beast" RICHARDS is RIGHT ON HIS TAIL, and the crowd SCREAMS as Kyle turns DIRECTLY into The Beast's RIGHT HAND! Bobby O'Brady is being kicked in the corner by LDK Lloyd Rees! Clint and Stone Zellor are both working over Dio Muerte! Chris Casino and Jeff James are exchanging chops! There's... there's too much action to call! NEWFY JACK, SEBASTIAN MARTYR and "Bad Boy" JOEY MALONE all storm the ring! Bruce "The Beast" Richards suddenly has Joey Malone on his back, and Al Thoes is getting punched by Newfy Jack! Sakai stands up into a DARK DAZE from Martyr! TWENTY FOUR MEN and ONE STEEL CHAIR are in the ring!

And by the curtain stands Ravager, holding the NAPW Title, watching the anarchy that has taken over the ring...

SIMPLY

BEAUTIFUL

He flies by Ravager to HUGE OVATION from the crowd! SB is a HURRICANE FORCE as he hits the ring! David Banks turns to him, chair loaded, in time to get SEXYKICKED right in the chops! He SPILLS over the top rope! Stylin' Kyle Roberts rushes him only to get BACK BODY DROPPED over the ropes and into David Banks at ringside! Simply Beautiful surges forward, clotheslining Nightmare and Tommy Deathrow over the top! Left and right, SB sends one man after another over the top! Bobby O'Brady! Sakai! Sebastian Martyr! Matthew Kurtis! Bruce Richards! Jay O'Brien! Kevin Kodiak! No is safe! He's a HOUSE-A-FIRE! Clint Zellor! Joey Malone! Dio Muerte! Chis Casino! The crowd is on it's FEET! They're chanting "SB! SB! SB!" Newfy Jack! Al Thoes! Billy Kryenik! Stone Zellor! Thomas Young! Santiago! Prince Darko! Jeff James! Chad Kurtis! KENNY "The Colossal" KRENSHOV!

And there's just one man! One man left in the ring with him! They stare at each other for only a moment. One, heart-stopping moment.

And then Simply Beautiful and LDK Lloyd Rees collide.

The crowd is HOT! The two men exchange chops, and punches, and kicks! They lock up, and Rees DRIVES Simply Beautiful into the corner, only to have SB reverse it, and go upstairs and raise a fist! The crowd chants along! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE aaaaaand TEN! Lloyd Rees staggers forward, away from SB and collapses in the middle of the ring! SB blows a kiss at the crowd... NEW! YORK! NIGHTMARE! He hooks Rees' leg for show! There's no ref! It's not a match! BUT THE CROWD COUNTS ANYWAY!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

As Lloyd Rees rolls out of the ring, Simply Beautiful rises and basks, awash in the cheers of his fans!

BILL HEWSON: My GOD! Simply Beautiful just TOOK OUT THE COMPETITION! It's DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN! Last year, D! did the SAME THING... and he NEARLY WENT THE DISTANCE IN THE SOLE SURVIVOR MATCH!

JACK JONES: And D! LOST the Sole Survivor match, Bill Hewson! He LOST! And I don't think Simply Beautiful has a HOPE IN HELL of winning it either!

BILL HEWSON: Maybe! Maybe not! We'll see at SOLE SURVIVOR in EIGHT DAYS TIME! But tonight... TONIGHT, Jack Attack, SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL HAS STOLEN THE SHOW!

Simply Beautiful takes the top rope at one of the corners and points out to the crowd, grinning ear to ear, standing high over top of the ENTIRE LOCKER ROOM... except for one man.

Ravager.

Who stands, expression one of deadly seriousness, at the entrance, with the NAPW Title over his shoulder. Is he impressed? Is he nervous? Is he sizing up a possible threat?

Only he knows...

"FINAL FIGHT"

03/20/2007