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Before the show can get rolling "When the Lights Go Out" by The Black Keys hits the speaker system of the Polish Hall. The record-setting Edmonton crowd begins to boo at the familiar sound of NAPW Provincial Champion's music, soon to follow both "LDK" Lloyd Rees and "The Chairman" David Banks walk out from behind the curtain. The duo waste no time making their way to the ring. Banks enters the ring and Lloyd circles around to grab the microphone from ring announcer Frank Warburton. Lloyd follows suit and begins to speak.

"LDK" LLOYD REES: CUT ME MUSIC!! Cut it!!

The music stops. The crowd boos harder.

"LDK" LLOYD REES: And ye ungrateful pieces of s**t need t'shut da f**k up when I'm in da ring!!

Louder boos even still.

"LDK" LLOYD REES: But, I'm not here fer yer listen'n pleasure, I'm here fer a much more important reason. As ye might know, d'here has been a great tragedy in da world of wrasslin'. Me manager, me friend, me mentor, John Salty, was viciously attacked two weeks ago. We are still unsure what da long-term damage will be. Hell!! John may never be able t'walk again!! But, I'm not here t'give ye an update on John's condition, I'm here fer one reason and one reason only...To call out da monster d'hat did dis!! SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL!! Get yer sorry ass out here!!

The mention of Simply Beautiful's name gets an instant pop from the crowd. A short minute goes by, and Simply Beautiful appears from behind the curtain. He's in street clothes, no music plays, and his look is one of seriousness. He enters the ring and stands face to face with Lloyd. Banks tries to get in between the long time enemies, but Lloyd pushes him aside.

"LDK" LLOYD REES: How could ya do dis Beautiful? I understand we haven't been drink'n buddies but, Jesus b'y, d'hat's wrasslin', dis is personal!!

Simply Beautiful grabs the microphone from Rees.

SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL: Not friends? No SHIT! But as much as I hate you, and as much as I kinda wish I did kick your life partner's ass, it wasn't me, sunshine.

"LDK" LLOYD REES: So, if ya didn't attack John, why in da hell did I find d'ese d'here?

Banks hands Lloyd the sunglasses found at the scene of the attack.

"LDK" LLOYD REES: Can ya tell who d'ese belong to?

Simply Beautiful takes the glasses out of Lloyd's hand.

SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL: Well...Lloyd, look. I'm gonna explain something to you about the economy. These here shades? 10 bucks on napw-online.com. Any schmuck with half a brain coulda bought 'em and planted them at the scene of the crime. So, like I said I'm innocent.

"LDK" LLOYD REES: Awful convienent story der, SB! Tings don't look so good fer ya right now Beautiful! Explain yerself!! Were ya so torn up by yer loss at Sole Survivor d'hat ya had t'tink up a way to get back at me?! Christ Beautiful, if ya wanted another shot at get'n an untainted win over me, all ya had t'do was ask. I would have gladly stepped inside da square-circle with ya again, but dis!! Ya have gone way t'far, even fer me!!

SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL: You got shit between your ears? I. Did. Not. Do. This. I'm sorry John got roughed up, but it wasn't me. I don't know any other way to explain this to ya-

"LDK" LLOYD REES: Well, ya better start explain'n!!

SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL: Now Rees...

Lloyd smacks Simply Beautiful across his face.

"LDK" LLOYD REES: Stop lie'n t'me Beautiful!! Be a real man and face da fact d'hat ya have been caught red-handed fer dis!!

The crowd starts to stir. Even as SB looks ready to unload on Lloyd Rees... From out of nowhere, "Big Bad" Brian Bruno is standing behind Simply Beautiful. Lloyd begins to back away slowly at the sight of the unstable REBEL Pro star. An expression of confusion comes across Beautiful's face, but it is too late for him. A tap on Beautiful's shoulder, an instinctual turn...CRUSH!! He's leveled by a vicious short clothes line from Bruno. Banks and Rees make their way out of the ring as the beating continues. Bruno slides out of the ring and grabs a steel chair. As he slides back into the ring, Simply Beautiful in managing to pull himself back to his feet, but... SMASH!!

BILL HEWSON: Good God, no! What is the point of this?! What the hell is Brian Bruno's problem... oh no, now what? For the love of God.

It appears Bruno is not done. He strategically places the chair on the mat and pulls the near unconscious Beautiful to his feet. KILL SHOT ON THE STEEL CHAIR!! BEAUTIFUL MIGHT BE DEAD!! Brian Bruno gets back to his feet, a sinister smiles comes across his face, and he exits the same way he came, through the crowd.

BILL HEWSON: Oh my God, we need EMTs out here... Simply Beautiful may be severely hurt! What about the four-corner match later tonight? What in the... we need help out here!

Trainers begin to rush the ring to check on the fallen SB. Two shows in a row Brian Bruno has left SB laying and unable to leave on his own power...

The fans are itching for some action now... and they don't have long to wait. "Lonely Train" by Black Sour Cherry begins booming through the speaker system as Newfy Jack comes out from the back to a barrage of jeers. Charlie trails behind him by a few feet and the two make their way to the ring. Jack slides in and Charlie takes his spot near Jack's corner.

FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first weighing in tonight at three-hundred and fifteen pounds, from the Mean Streets of Newfoundland...Newfy Jack!!

"Frankenstein" by the Edgar Winters Band kicks in and out comes Kevin Kodiak to a decent amount of cheers. He begins walking toward the ring with a look of determination on his face.

BILL HEWSON: Simply Beautiful has been taken to a near-by medical facilty, we have yet to be told his status or the status of the four-corner match later tonight. But right now, the show must go on! This is NAPW, the show is "The Last Resort" and Jack Jones, this man Newfy Jack is coming out to wrestle for a record-setting Polish Hall crowd! The fans have packed this place to the rafters!

JACK JONES: The atmosphere is electric, Bill Hewson. And what a night to make an impact like Newfy Jack is about to!

FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent, weighing in at two-hundred and sixty-two pounds, from Salmon River, British Columbia...Kevin Kodiak!!

BILL HEWSON: And what we know is that the winner of this match will wrestle in a triple-threat for a Provincial Title shot next week in Calgary.

JACK JONES: Kevin Kodiak's had a couple title matches in the last two months, he'd love another chance at the gold. But he's got to get past Newfy Jack. And his codfish.

BILL HEWSON: Indeed he does... what?

The bell sounds and the match begins! Newfy Jack jumps atop the bigger man and begins throwing forearms to his back and neck. He's gained the control of this match and drags Kodiak to the center of the ring. Kevin starts getting up and Newfy Jack raises him to his feet and follows up with a kick to the midsection. Here comes a piledriver - Kodiak reverses - Back body drop. Wait! Newfy Jack is hanging on to Kevin Kodiak. Kodiak smiles... Double-leg Slam and Newfy Jack is sent crashing down onto the mat! Newfy Jack is struggling to get up and Kodiak lifts him to his feet. Irish whip into the corner and Newfy hits it hard. Kodiak rushes and Splash!! Newfy Jack is crushed between Kodiak and the corner and lets out a yelp. Kodiak backs up and splash again! Jack yelps once more and Kodiak tosses him to the ground. He looks at him and ascends to the top turnbuckle.

BILL HEWSON: Kevin Kodiak is no cruiserweight going to the top rope! That's over 260 pounds coming off the tooooop ---

JACK JONES: Look out below!

Top! Rope! Splash! Newfy Jack is done! One, Two, Thr-kickout! Newfy Jack kicks out! Kodiak lifts Jack to his feet and Eye Rake by Jack! Jack then nails Kevin with a few hard rights and sends him reeling into the corner. Newfy Jack then looks Kodiak in the eye and unleashes a flurry of body shots and finishes it with a knee to the midsection. Jack has gained control of the match once more and irish whips Kodiak into the opposite corner. Newfy Jack rushes the opposition and receives a vicious spinning leg kick for his efforts. Kodiak wants to end this one. He lifts Newfy Jack to his feet and whips him into the ropes, Kodiak rebounds off the opposite side, Newfy Lariat! Kodiak ducks! Both men rebound onces again and Kevin Kodiak with a lariat of his own! Newfy Ducks and stops. He points at his head saying he too can be smart and here comes Kevin with another rebound...NORTHERN BC LARIAT! Newfy Jack is caught by surprise and nearly beheaded! Kodiak hooks the leg, the crowd counts along for one, two, three!

FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of the match, Kevin Kodiak!

BILL HEWSON: A huge win here tonight for Kevin Kodiak, he'll be in the triple-threat next week for a Provincial Title shot against whomever the champion may be... wait a minute! Who's that?!

JACK JONES: Do your research, Hewson! You should know!

Kodiak is posing for the fans when a huge man comes rushing the ring with a steel chair! Kodiak doesn't see it coming... WHAM.

Kodiak stumbles forward, not quite down, as this huge man throws the chair down on the canvas. Kodiak takes a drunken swing, easily ducked, and gets scooped up... oh no!

TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER ON THE STEEL CHAIR!

The crowd is booing heartily as the man casually boots Kodiak out of the ring. Trainers come down to attend to the man, he doesn't look good. Meanwhile his attacker yells for a microphone. With arrogance in his voice, he speaks.

"For those of you Alberta rednecks who don't know, my name is Jake Phoenix, and as that chump right there just found out the hardway, they call me THE CAREER KILLER. And since I got nothing better to do... I might as well do what I should've done five years ago and end the careers of a couple jerks named Diablo and Donovan Astros! Let's get this show on the road!"

BILL HEWSON: Who does this son of a bitch think he is? He may have seriously injured Kevin Kodiak, and now he's demanding his match to start now?

JACK JONES: I like this guy's attitude, Hewson! Bring 'em on out!

Jake Phoenix drops the mic as "Kingdom" starts to play. Diablo comes out with his handmaiden Demona. The Edmonton crowd is unsure about who to cheer for, but, hey, a redhead in a latex suit? You're gonna get some cheers, folks. Or at least some catcalls. Trainers are helping Kodiak out, Diablo ignores the man as he and Demona pass him by.

FRANK WARBURTON: The following triple-threat match is scheduled for one fall! Already in the ring, at six-seven weighing two-hundred eighty-nine pounds... "The Career Killer" Jake Phoenix! Coming to the ring, from Hollywood, California, weighing in at two hundred and seventy pounds! Accompanied by Demona, this is DIAAAAABLLLOOOOOO!!!!

As Diablo comes into the ring to stare down Jake Phoenix, the music changes.

"I said hallelujah to the 16 loyal fans!"

Donovan Astros comes out to the sounds of Pigeonhed, hands raised, soaking up whatever response the crowd gives him. In this case? A mixed reaction. But Astros will take whatever he gets here, with a cocky smirk.

FRANK WARBURTON: Weighing in at two hundred and twenty seven pounds! From Los Angeles! This is DOOONOVAAAN AAAAAASSSSTROOOOOOS!

JACK JONES: Of all the new blood appearing here in NAPW, this is my pick for the man to go all the way to the top! This guy has the drive, he's got the means!

BILL HEWSON: Aren't you being a little premature? This is his first NAPW match!

JACK JONES: I do a little something called research, you should try it sometime.

Donovan Astros enters the ring, staring down the other two men, as John Sharplin explains the rules. Diablo takes off his blood-red trenchcoat, handing it to Demona at ringside. Astros and Diablo share a look, and Diablo nods subtly. Phoenix adjusts his elbowpad, a grim look on his face. Sharplin calls for the bell, and the two smaller men dive at Jake Phoenix, hammering him with blows to the chest.They get him to the ropes, and a double irish whip sends Phoenix to the other side. Phoenix comes back with a vengeance, with two clotheslines! Well, Diablo flips, but Astros wisely ducks the clothesline, sliding out from under the bottom rope to ringside, holding his hands up, telling a fan at ringside, "Too soon." Phoenix mounts the prone Diablo, laying him out with some stiff forearms to the face. Demona pounds the canvas, trying to give Diablo some energy, but when a six-foot-nine guy's got the advantage, well... Phoenix grabs Diablo by the hair and pulls him up, maneuvering him into the corner. A series of punches later, Phoenix lets out a cry of rage, and the audience replies by booing. Astros is chatting up a lady in the front row. Phoenix pulls Diablo from the corner, and grabs him around the waist, trying to get him into a piledriver. Astros slides back into the ring, chop block to Phoenix!

BILL HEWSON: A smart move by Donovan Astros there!

JACK JONES: You can't Tombstone somebody without a leg!

Astros capitalizes by applying a Bow and Arrow on the bigger Jake Phoenix. Phoenix cries out in pain this time, and Astros tries to torque to more leverage. Diablo shakes off the punches from earlier, and takes a bit of time to rest as Phoenix gets more pressure to his large back by Donovan. Astros laughs until he's cut off by a stomp to the face by Diablo. Phoenix is let go as Astros gets in Diablo's face. "What's the deal?" A belly-to belly-suplex is the deal, apparently, as Diablo releases Donovan into the corner. Diablo then looks over the writhing Jake Phoenix, smiles, and throws an ankle lock on the big man.

BILL HEWSON: Diablo knows a weakness when he sees one, and doesn't hesitate to take advantage!

Diablo twists the leg, trying to put as much pressure on Phoenix's ankle as he can. Phoenix is trying his damnedest to get to the ropes in order to kill the submission move. And he's almost there! Just a few more inches! Diablo turns up the heat by pulling a Kurt Angle and hitting the mat, wrenching that leg even more. Phoenix cries out, as Sharplin is asking him if he gives up. Jake shakes his head. A few more inches. His hand is almost

reaching

to the rope.

His finger's got an inch to go!

And then the pressure is relieved as Astros kicks Diablo in the head. No rest for Phoenix, however, as Donovan picks up the big man and delivers a raised forearm to his face. Donovan tries for a suplex, but Phoenix raises his leg into the gut of Astros. It's not enough to get the smaller man off, though, as he shoves Phoenix into the corner and lets off a few backhanded slaps. The crowd woos along with the slaps, of course. Astros steps back and trashtalks Phoenix. But he stops once he sees the alarm in Jake's eyes. Astros turns around only to get a GINORMOUS splash by Diablo. It's an Astros sandwich as Diablo manages to splash both men into the turnbuckle. "HOLY SHIT!" chants the crowd as Donovan drops to the mat. Diablo's not done here, though, picking up Astros and using him as a human battering ram into the stomach of Jake Phoenix. Donovan Astros is not looking so swell here, as Diablo DDTs him into the canvas. Diablo covers for the pin! One! Two! Elbow to the back of the head by Jake Phoenix. Phoenix picks up Diablo and grabs his neck. Diablo wraps his arms around the head of Jake Phoenix, jaw jammer! Phoenix drops to the mat and Diablo covers. One! Two-kickout by Phoenix! Diablo shakes his head, and turns around only to see the angry glare of Donovan Astros. Aztecan Suplex! Diablo flies through the ropes, as Astros turns his attention to the monster that is Jake Phoenix. Astros sits Jake up, and applies the Astrolock. Jake Phoenix turns purple due to the stranglehold, but manages to get a hold of the ropes to break the Astrolock.

Donovan Astros is undaunted, as he picks up Phoenix and tries for his version of the Unprettier.

BILL HEWSON: If Donovan can pull off the Astrocide here, this match could be over!

But no, Phoenix manages to counter it, taking Astros onto his shoulder for one monstrous powerslam! It took all Phoenix had, and both men are lying in the middle of the ring. John Sharplin can do nothing, since it's Triple Threat rules here. No countouts. At ringside, Demona has brought Diablo to his senses. Diablo looks in the ring, where both his opponents are laid out. He slides in, and goes for a pinfall on Astros. One. Two! Kickout by Astros, who still has some life left to him, it seems! Diablo picks up Donovan, and whips him into the corner. Phoenix is barely moving. Diablo takes Astros to the top rope. What the hell is he doing?

BILL HEWSON: Is he flipping Astros upside down? Oh, god, I've heard about this, but I didn't think it was possible!

JAKE JONES: Are we talking about Diablo's finisher? The Tombstone from the top rope?

BILL HEWSON: He calls it the Final Judgment, but after a match this brutal, there's no way this could end well for Donovan Astros!

Diablo does have the strength here to pull it off! Not many men can shoulder the full weight of a wrestler from this high up! Diablo signals to the crowd, a crowd buzzing with the potential of such a high risk move. Diablo takes the final step, and is about to send the head of Astros down a total of eight feet into the canvas! But here's Jake Phoenix! He throws Donovan Astros off the turnbuckle to the mat and shoulders Diablo! Diablo's in a Tombstone himself! A devastating move by the monster Jake Phoenix! Diablo crumples to the mat as Phoenix smirks, this match over. He folds the arms of Diablo, awaiting the count by John Sharplin. But here's Donovan Astros, wrapping his arm through the legs of Jake Phoenix, taking advantage of the damage done to the leg of his opponent, Phoenix is flipped onto his side, shoulders on the mat. One! Two! He's got the tights! THREE! Astros slides out of the ring in a quick motion, as an exhausted Phoenix looks around frantically, trying to decipher what just happened.

FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner! DOOONNNOVAAANNN AAAAASSSSTRRROOOOOS!

As Jake Phoenix looks on in rage, Astros makes his way to the back, arms raised in victory, smiling to himself, tapping his temple. "I've got your number, Jake!" Limping, Jake rushes to the back after him, as Demona tends to her client in the middle of the ring.

BILL HEWSON: What a match for these three new-comers, but Jake Phoenix got what he deserved!

JACK JONES: I'm so confused. I don't know if I should feel glad or sad that Donovan Astros won. Curse my eyes.

BILL HEWSON: I can't imagine Diablo's too thrilled with the outcome of this match for his part. What can we expect from each of these three men in the future?

FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Edmonton, Alberta! Weighing in at two hundred and sixty-five pounds! Van GARDE!

The crowd gives a hearty cheer for the hometown boy as he quickly makes his way down to the ring.

JACK JONES: This is Van Garde's NAPW debut, and I have to say I'm not very impressed with him so far.

BILL HEWSON: How can you say that! This is his very first match, and it hasn't even started yet!

JACK JONES: I don't like his pants.

Jack Jones's dislike for his ring attire aside, Van Garde gets into the ring and awaits his opponent, itching for a fight.

FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent! From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, accompanied by Asuka...DEZ! CARTER!

And as much as the Edmonton fans showed their support for the hometown boy, they just let loose for the return of Dez Carter! He rushes out from behind the curtain, grinning and waving to the fans, as Asuka runs quickly to catch up.

BILL HEWSON: Dez Carter, in his return to action in the NAPW, just seems to be soaking up the admiration of the fans.

JACK JONES: He'd do better to pay attention to his opponent than to the fans, Hewson. Distractions like that can be distracting when it comes time for the fight.

BILL HEWSON: As always, pearls of wisdom from my announcing partner.

Dez Carter and Van Garde square off in the ring, waiting for junior referee Morgan Smythe to call for the bell...and she does! Dez Carter rushes at Van Garde, who stands his ground, and gets a flying dropkick for his troubles! Van Garde stumbles back into the turnbuckle, and Dez Carter gets back to his feet and goes over to his opponent. He gets him up on the top turnbuckle, getting ready for a top rope suplex...AND HE GETS IT WITH GUSTO! Van Garde rolls around on the mat, while Dez Carter again makes it back to his feet.

BILL HEWSON: Van Garde was eager to fight, but I don't think he was quite prepared for this!

Dez Carter helps Van Garde to his feet, and lays in with a right chop. Van Garde returns the favour with a right jab! Right chop from Carter! Right jab from Van Garde! Chop! Jab! Chop...blocked! A jab from Van Garde, followed by yet another jab, and now it's Dez Carter who's looking a little uneasy on his feet! Van Garde rebounds off the ropes, and just FLATTENS Dez Carter with a running kick! But that big effort knocked a lot of wind out of him, and now both men are slow to get up. Asuka applauds on the outside of the ring, trying to whip the crowd up in support of her wrestler. Van Garde is up first, though, and pulls Dez Carter to his feet. He starts off with a knee to the gut, and then follows up by trying to lock on the crossface chicken wing! Dez Carter is gritting his teeth, trying to get out of Van Garde's grip, hoping to hold off the submission, but it's no good! The bigger man uses his advantage and finally locks his hands on for the crossface! Dez Carter is trying desperately to move to the ropes, waving his free arm around desperately, but Van Garde pulls back and he's back where he started.

JACK JONES: You know, I'm starting to like this Van Garde!

BILL HEWSON: Why the sudden change of heart, Jones?

JACK JONES: My mother always told me, "Never back a losing horse!"

Dez Carter, starting to fade, stares at Asuka, who's slapping the canvas and cheering him on. Carter looks like he's out for the count, but then the fans start cheering him on, and a fire sparks behind his eyes. He grits his teeth, and winds up to nail Van Garde in the gut with an elbow! Van Garde gasps but doesn't let go. Another elbow, and Van Garde buckles a bit, and Dez Carter LUNGES forward for the rope break! Morgan Smythe is right in Van Garde's face, and he begrudgingly lets the rope go without having to start in with the count.

JACK JONES: What? No! You had five more seconds, Van Garde! You idiot! You're DEAD to me!

BILL HEWSON: Your unwavering support is inspiring.

Van Garde backs off slightly, letting his opponent get some air, but then comes back in and lifts him up. He gets him in to position for a DDT, but Dez Carter gives him another elbow to the side, and Van Garde lets go, holding his much-abused side. Dez Carter takes advantage of his opponent's weakness, and follows up with a kick to the side, then hooks Van Garde's arms, TIGER DRIVER! Heres the pin! One, two, thr--Van Garde kicks out! Somehow, he kicks out, and now both men are on their feet! Van Garde comes in with a left jab, followed by a right hook, then leaps off the ropes, trying for a Victory Roll on the dizzy Dez Carter, but Carter rolls with the move and pops out, then rebounds off the rope and lands a hard dropkick to the face of Van Garde! He lifts him up over his shoulders and now it's time for the BURNING HAMMER! One, two, three, and Dez Carter gets the win!

FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner! DEZ CARTER!

Dez Carter stands in the middle of the ring with his arm held high, as Asuka runs in and embraces him. Carter seems a little sad for a guy who just won himself a match, and the crowd senses it. A cheer starts in the back of the hall, then spreads and grows until everyone's chanting. "Please don't go! Please don't go! Please don't go!"

BILL HEWSON: The crowd seems to know something we don't, Jack Attack!

JACK JONES: I blame the internet.

Dez Carter, tears welling up in his eyes, hugs Asuka tightly, then waves to the crowd and starts moving towards the back. The crowd starts up even louder, and the cheer has changed. "Thank you Dez! Thank you Dez! Thank you Dez!" Dez Carter and Asuka stop at the curtain, and turn to the crowd one more time. Dez waves to the crowd, smiling, and then disappears behind the curtain.

Intermission time, fans are getting concessions, going outside for a quick smoke, or sitting around chatting like wrestling geeks. Suddenly!

"MORE HUMAN THAN HUMAN!"

It's the owner --- the REBEL Heavyweight Champion REX CALIBER! The fans in their seats are popping as others run back into the main hall, wondering what's going to happen. Rex takes the ring and asks for a microphone.

REX CALIBER: Hell yeah, you enjoying the show tonight?

POP!

REX CALIBER: Edmonton fans are awesome. I'm glad all of you could make it tonight, you've been the reason NAPW is a success today... and it's with that in mind Ive got some bad news to report. Thanks to that dickhead Brian Bruno, Simply Beautiful will not be wrestling tonight.

Boooooo.

REX CALIBER: Yeah it sucks. But I know you fans came here to see The Beast (pop!)... Sebastien Martyr, well, maybe to see him get his ASS BEAT (pop!)... and some of you came out here for the first damn time to check out a guy named, oh, Dan Ryan (pop!!). So you know what? You're still going to see that match! Triple-threat rules... THE BEAST vs SEBASTIEN MARTYR vs "THE EGO BUSTER" DAN RYAN!

The crowd cheers. They're disappointed and concerned for SB... but the show must go on.

JACK JONES: That's why they call me mocha.

BILL HEWSON: Pervert.

FRANK WARBURTON: This next match is scheduled for one fall and it will be contested under "Superstar Rules!"

"We Fall, We Fall" by Dead Celebrity Status hits the speakers and the crowd pops big time for the most dangerous drunk on Earth.

FRANK WARBURTON: Coming to the ring first, hailing from St. Paul Minnesota and weighing in at two-hundred and fifty four pounds pounds, he is one half of the NAPW Tag Team Champions...."Superstar" Tommy Deathrow!!!

Deathrow emerges from the back with a demented grin on his face. He climbs into the ring and shoves Warburton out of his way as he hits all four corners to a big ovation. Well, a big ovation from everybody except the freaks in the front row. It's Sebastien Martyr's acolytes. Al B. Damned and a half-dozen scrappy goth chickadees. Not that Tylor really cares, he gives a good crotch thrust their direction.

FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent...

"Never gonna get it" by Akon hits and the cheers turn to boos in an instant.

FRANK WARBURTON: He hails from Greensboro, North Carolina and weighs in at 223 pounds...David Banks!!!

Banks steps out from the back to a cascade of boos and taunts. His ribs and forehead are covered in bandages, a lingering result of the vicious "Bat vs Chair" match the previous week. He makes his way to ringside trying to ignore the fans...

Until...

A fan reaches out and slaps Banks on the arm. Banks spins and gets in the fans face as security rushes over to keep David Banks from kicking this poor guy's ass. Banks turns his attention away from the fan and takes a running clothesline from Tommy Deathrow!

BILL HEWSON: Deathrow snuck out of the ring while Banks was having a, uh, disagreement with a fan and has attacked Banks in the aisle!

JACK JONES: Deathrow should be ashamed of himself! Bad enough that Banks was almost killed last week but now he's having to face Tommy Deathrow in a "Superstar Rules" match! Talk about conspiracies!

In the aisle, Tommy has Banks down and is kicking away at him like he was a soccer ball. The referee is yelling at him to bring it to the ring but Deathrow ignores him. Deathrow drops to his knees and starts to pound away at the head of Banks with hard right hands as the fans along the ring barrier cheer him on.

BILL HEWSON: This match basically has no rules so the referee has his hands tied in trying to get Banks and Deathrow into or near a ring!

JACK JONES: Deathrow's lucky I'm retired or I'd set him straight!

BILL HEWSON: I'll pass that info along.

JACK JONES: Uh...I'd rather you not.

Deathrow has apparently taken mercy on Banks as he's now pulled him to his feet and is leading to the ring. Banks is rolled into the ring and the referee calls for the bell making this match official. Tommy searches under the ring and pulls out a folding chair to the delight of the fans. Deathrow slides into the ring and slowly approaches Banks with a sick grin. Deathrow raises the chair high above his head so that he can get a good shot on Banks when a lowblow stops him dead in his tracks! Tommy doubles over and drops the chair to the mat as Banks gets to his feet. Banks picks up the chair teases hitting Tommy across the back with it and then tosses it away opting instead to take Deathrow to the mat with a side Russian legsweep! Banks watches as Deathrow fights back up to his feet and then plants a boot to the gut of "The Superstar." Banks comes off the near ropes and nails a swinging neckbreaker on the DOOMrider once again taking him down to the mat.

BILL HEWSON: If the match stays technical then David Banks will have a clear advantage. However if Deathrow can get his hands on a weapon then this match will be over in a hurry!

Banks pulls Tommy to his feet and goes for a trifecta of suplexes! He hits the first one! He swivels his hips and rolls over pulling Tommy up with him. He hits the second suplex! Again the hips swivel and Banks pulls Deathrow to his feet for the third and final suplex. It's blocked by Deathrow! Banks tries again and once more Tommy manages to block the move and this time he reverses it into a DDT! Both men are down and the crowd starts to clap and chant for Deathrow to get up. Banks, however is the first to stir as he gets to all fours. He reaches over to grab Tommy but the DOOMrider shocks him by grabbing the outstretched arm and pulling David Banks into a Crippler Crossface! Banks quickly rolls through and slides to the outside, a look of relief is on his face as he knows he just escaped his own finishing maneuver! Tommy rolls to the outside and blocks a right hand from Banks. A knee to the gut from Deathrow stuns Banks and a suplex to the arena floor takes the air out of the wrestler!

JACK JONES: Get up Banks! Don't let this freak beat you!

BILL HEWSON: It's like I said earlier, once Deathrow gets the advantage it's almost impossible to stop him!

Banks is dragged off the floor and Irished whipped into the ring barricade! Banks takes a running clothesline from Deathrow that takes both him and the DOOMrider over the barricade and into the front row! Like a man possessed Tommy is ripping and tearing at the bandages on the forehead of Banks. Despite his best efforts to stop him, Banks has his bandages ripped from his forehead by a frenzied Tommy Deathrow! A huge pop goes out through the crowd as Deathrow lays into the forehead into the stitched up head of Banks drawing blood! Tommy pulls Banks to his feet and hurls him back over the ring barricade near ringside. The camera zooms in on the blood covered face of Banks and in the background we see Deathrow crawling over the barricade. Banks is pulled to his feet, spun around and dropped to the floor with a straight right hand to the gashed forehead. Tommy raises his blood soaked taped hands above his head to a huge cheer to the crowd.

JACK JONES: This is an outrage! Banks was injured last week and Tommy has to resort to re-opening those wounds just to get a rise out of these fans!

BILL HEWSON: Easy Jack, remember your blood pressure.

Banks is struggling to his feet and Deathrow charges him. Banks ducks down and backdrops Deathrow onto the hard arena floor! Banks wipes the blood from his face and watches as a hurting Deathrow gets to his feet. Banks hooks Deathrow from behind and attempts a German suplex onto the floor! it's blocked and Banks lays in a pair of forearm shots across the back of the neck of Deathrow before going for the German again! Once more it's blocked! Banks releases Tommy, spins him around and takes him up and over with a bone jarring snap suplex. Banks gets to his feet, pulls Tommy up and rolls him back into the ring. Banks climbs up onto the ring apron, then scales to the top of the ringpost and waits as Tommy slowly pulls himself up to a standing position. Tommy turns and is hit with a flying cross body from Banks! Tommy rolls through and manages a close two count! Banks scrambles to his feet and catches a rising Deathrow with a belly to belly suplex that earns him a two count of his own!

JACK JONES: Tommy is no match for the technical skills of David Banks!

BILL HEWSON: Geez Jack, why don't you just marry the guy?

A murmur goes through the crowd and several people get to their feet as from the back the mysterious Sebastien Martyr makes his way to ringside. A smug look on his face.

JACK JONES: Hey look we've got company!

BILL HEWSON: Martyr's taking a seat near ringside next to us Jack. I hope he has the decency to stay out of this match.

Back in the ring, Banks has pulled Tommy to his feet and cracks him with a stiff European uppercut! Another uppercut sends Deathrow bouncing off of the ropes, but the DOOMrider drives a knee into the bandaged midsection of Banks! A chop across the chest of Banks gets a "Woooo!" from the crowd. Another chop! An inverted atomic drop! Banks is still standing! A stiff right hand to the bloody forehead of Banks however drops him to the mat. Tommy climbs out of the ring, throws back the apron and pulls out a Singapore cane to a nice pop from the crowd! Deathrow spots Martyr sitting near ringside and uses the Singapore can to simulate an obscene gesture towards the mysterious man.

JACK JONES: Ugh, I could have done without that.

Tommy rolls back into the ring, points the cane at Martyr, then proceeds to wear out Banks with the cane! The crowd is going bananas as the cane cracks across the back, the leg, the chest and finally the head of David Banks! The crowd has been whipped into a frenzy as Deathrow points the Singapore out towards the crowd like Babe Ruth of days gone by. A bloody Banks is getting to his feet and Tommy swings for the fences. At the last second Banks ducks out of the way and drives a shoulder into the right knee of Deathrow dropping him to the mat! As Tommy clutches his knee Banks picks up the cane, gets ready to whack Tommy then decides he's not going that route and tosses the bamboo stick out of the ring. Tommy is using the ring ropes to pull himself up when he takes a chop block to the knee that again drops him to the mat. Banks grabs the injured wheel of Tommy and goes for a figure four leglock! Tommy plants a boot on the backside of Banks and shoves him off. Banks is hurled towards the ringpost but he uses his amazing agility and leaps to the top rope!

BILL HEWSON: What a leap by Banks!

JACK JONES: What have I been telling you? This guy has all the tools to be a superstar in this company!

On the top rope Banks positions himself as Tommy hobbles up to his feet. Banks goes to the air and tries for a blockbuster neckbreaker but Tommy drops out of sight! Banks lands hard and Tommy is on him like a cheap suit. Tommy drags him to his feet and is laying in the hard right hands to the head of an already bloody David Banks! Deathrow points to Martyr sitting at ringside and pulls Banks into position for his "Deathrow Driver!" Tommy tries to get him up but his knee gives out allowing Banks to counter with a backdrop! Tommy grabs the ropes and uses them to drag himself to his feet but takes yet another vicious chop block to the knee and he stumbles to the ropes. In a flash Banks shoves Tommy into the corner and climbs up, kneeing the Superstar in the cheek. He hooks the arms --- and flies.

That, my friends...

Is Beyond Belief.

Banks hooks the leg of Deathrow as the referee counts one, two, THREE. The crowd is stunned. Banks rolls out of the ring looks like he just got out of a war. His face is a bloody mess and he has bright red welts all over his body from the Singapore cane.

FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of this match, David Banks!!!

A dazed Tommy is sitting in the ring with a look of disgust on his face as David Banks makes his escape. Martyr stands up from his chair and give Deathrow a polite golf clap. Deathrow throws some choice bleep-worthy language... WHAM!

CHAIR HUCKING IN NAPW! Martyr whips his chair right into Tommy's face. Martyr smirks, walking off, as his fans in the front row roar with laughter.

BILL HEWSON: That was just uncalled for! Sebastien Martyr has had it out for Tommy Deathrow for months in NAPW... Damn him. But by God, David Banks with a huge upset here tonight! He's pinned one of the tag champions a week before he and Lloyd Rees get a shot at the Doomrider-held titles!

JACK JONES: Upset? Banks controlled this thing from the opening bell!

BILL HEWSON: Are you drinking again?

JACK JONES: Only after ten.

BILL HEWSON: AM or PM?

JACK JONES: AM... who are you, my mother?

In the ring Deathrow has pulled himself up, grimacing in pain. The crowd gives him a round of applause, but Tommy doesn't hear it. His eyes tell the story --- death.

Thirty Seconds To Mars blasts from the speakers. The fans know what's up, showering the colossal man who storms through the curtain with boos. Krenshov looks over the crowd with his usual disgusted, angry expression, Eli Potts at his side. Potts leads his man to the ring.

FRANK WARBURTON: This match is for one fall! Introducing first accompanied by Eli Potts, he is the COLOSSAL... KRENNNNSHOVVV!

BILL HEWSON: The largest man in New Alberta Pro Wrestling, one of the most powerful, and yet championship gold continues to elude him.

JACK JONES: Well you can hardly blame Krenshov for that one, Bill Hewson. The man is a living, breathing wrecking ball! Krenshov alone would have won the tag belts at Sole Survivor II... I mean, it was that idiot Jay O'Brien who took the pinfall while Krenshov was taking on four men single-handedly outside the ring.

BILL HEWSON: The man has suffered some setbacks as of late, with the crumbling of The Untouchables faction. How does Krenshov feel watching Chris Casino get an NAPW title shot tonight while he's back to square one?

JACK JONES: Krenshov knows where his place is, and that's making sure nobody screws Casino out of his title tonight. I wouldn't want to be the Provincial Champion after tonight's massacre.

Krenshov is in the ring, glowering. Then...

"West Philadelphia, born and raised
On the playground is where I spent mostamydays!
Chillin' out maxxin' relaxxin' all coool
Shooting some B-Ball outside of the skool!"

The crowd is surprised as "Theme From Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" plays through. But uh, most of them know all the words. Fatso Sazuki comes through the curtain, an 80's hip-hop dressed asian man with his face covered by a bizarre mask. The crowd isn't sure what to make. Fatso proceeds to raise the roof and slap hands with fans on his way to the ring, drawing some cheers.

FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent! From the Chinatown District of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania... FATSOOOO SAZUKIIII!

JACK JONES: Fatso? He ain't even portly! The guy weighs two-hundred pounds! And everybody knows Will Smith is an ACTOR, not a musician!

BILL HEWSON: Easy, big fella. Fatso Sazuki making his NAPW debut tonight, I don't eveny him his first opponent --- And I don't think Krenshov appreciates Fatso's irreverence, he just attacked him before the bell!

DING DING DING. The bell rings but Krenshov is already well on top of Fatso Sazuki, hammering him with brutal forearms. He picks Fatso up by the throat and throws him back-first into the corner. Krenshov in... clothesline! Another! ANOTHER! Good God, Fatso is slumping in the turnbuckles like so much silly-putty. Krenshov jams his size 17 boot in Fatso's throat as the ref makes his count... one, two, three, four, five, and Referee John Sharplin tries to physically remove Krenshov from the corner. Which is pretty much like trying to budge an 800-pound gorilla. Krenshov voluntarily removes his boot from Fatso's throat, but he won't let the man out of the corner. What's this? GOOD GOD.

POWERBOMB INTO THE TURNBUCKLE.

JACK JONES: Welcome to NAPW, you masked freak!

BILL HEWSON: This isn't a wrestling match, it's a slaughter!

And now Krenshov is stomping the carcass of Fatso Sazuki. Sharplin yells at him. "Get him out of the corner Kenny! One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Get him out of the corner Krenshov ---" SHOVE. Kenny piefaces Sharplin and shoves him down to the canvas, preferring to stick his boot in the cheek of Fatso. Hard. Sharplin wobbles to his feet and calls for the bell.

FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of the match by disqualification... FATSO SAZUKI!

BILL HEWSON: Fatso Sazuki has won the match, but --- somebody get Krenshov off the man! This is uncalled for!

Sharplin again tries to pull Krenshov off the man, shoved off again. And now Kenny's after him! Oh no, Total Eclipse? NOT ON THE REFEREE --- Eli Potts is in the ring! He's screaming at Krenshov. "What the hell are you doing? Don't do this! Come on Kenny, get it together!" Krenshov drops Sharplin safely - if unceremoniously - to the canvas.

BILL HEWSON: Oh thank God --- WHAT? NO! TOTAL ECLIPSE... ON ELI POTTS!

JACK JONES: YEAHHH --- wait, WHAT?

Security is swarming out as Krenshov rolls out of the ring. The crowd won't shut up, they're on his nut. One particular fan in the front row with a black beard and curly black hair is running his mouth at Krenshov. Krenshov is staring right at him, the fan doesn't even seem plussed. He's literally almost nose-to-nose with Krenshov yelling right in his face! And you can guess what happens next.

Krenshov punches the fan right in that bearded, sexy face.

Security is immediately all over Krenshov, a dozen men in "NAPW" shirts dogpiling the Colossus. For the home DVD release, the camera is quick to focus onto Kenny, ignoring the fan... at the live event, security is hustling the fan out through one door as the remainder try to hold down Krenshov. Chaos reigns.

The Colossus has crossed the line.

Back to the action, and Mr. Warburton to tell us what's what and who's who.

FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is for one fall! Introducing first hailing from from Staten Island, New York, weighing at an impressive one-hundred-seventy-one pounds and standing at six feet, three inches...

Bang Bang To The Rock 'N' Roll begins to shake the venue, giving the crowd warning. They now know the pimp is going blast like dynamite at any second. They rally up!

FRANK WARBURTON: "DYYYYYYYNAAAAAAMIIIIITE" STOOOOOOOOONE ZEEEEEELORRRRRR!

He rushes out of the curtains and begins to "Pimp Walk" his way to the ring. The crowd loves it and cheer him for it. He pucks his lip up at a couple of fine looking girls in crowd. They melt like butter.

FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent! Six-Eleven is the height he stands at. Three-Hundred-Fifteen is what he weighs! From Wickliffe, Kentucky...

Don't Tread On Me begins to pump through the arena. The crowd goes wild, they give a standing ovation. He blasts through the curtians. The crowd gets louder and wilder. Just a smirk on his face. He looks confident, but not to the point of being brash.

FRANK WARBURTON: "THE ANGRY AMERRRICAAAAN" MAAAAATHEWWWWWW KURRRRRRTISSSSSSS!

JACK JONES: I don't blame him for being cocky. He's only facing Stone, what is he? One hundred thirty soaking wet with two bricks in each pocket, wearing an anchor around his neck.

BILL HEWSON: I wouldn't count Stone out just yet. Stone is just as motivated as Matthew, if not more. This match is a big match for both men. Winning this can put them in the title scene. Everyone wants gold.

JACK JONES: But look, power always crushes speed, regardless.

BILL HEWSON: You can't always tell. You have to watch the match.

Both men approach each other in the middle of the ring. The big Bluegrass native stares a hole through the pimp. Stone motions a "HOLD UP!" with his hands, takes two steps back and begins to do the ELECTRIC BOOGALOOO! The crowd jumps in pandemonium chanting OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! He brushes his shoulder off. The nearly seven-foot tall Kurtis gives an appraising nod... and then! The Angry American motions "I got one better!" He gyrates his right leg and spins his body in a circle and then grabs his crotch. The crowd eating this up like Sunday morning breakfast, they then begin to chant "YOU GOT SERVED!" Stone begins to look in shock. "HE AIN'T BETTER THEN ME! I'LL PROVE IT!"

JACK JONES: Someone needs to tell them this isn't Soul Train, this is wrestling and I expect wrestling.

BILL HEWSON: Why don't you get in the in the ring and tell them that?

JACK JONES: Why don't you whoop me?

The break dancing pimp decides to do the robot. No avail the crowd chants "GARRRRR BIIIIIDGE." He snaps his head around and opens his mouth in disbelief.

JACK JONES: That may of worked in the YMCA, but, this is big time, baby.

BILL HEWSON: I thought you wanted to see a wrestling match?

JACK JONES: It's entertaining, I guess.

Stone now clears the way, he bends down to the floor, is he doing a handstand? Wait no, he's doing the SEPTUPLE HEAD SPIN! If you thought the crowd goes crazy like monkeys injected with loads of crack after drinking galloons of caffeine... They begin to scream "DAYUM" at the top of their lungs. Kurtis bobs his like "Oh yeah, okay, watch this!" THE HOKEY-POKEY! The Hokey-Pokey?

Stone: The Hokey-Pokey?

THE CROWD: The Hokey-Pokey?

THE REF: The Hokey-Pokey?

JACK JONES: The Hokey-Pokey?

BILL HEWSON: Well, that's very, um, original.

The now embarrassed American shrugs and puts on the "OOPS" smile. He gets rewarded a huge consolation prize for his effort, a Pimp slap to side of the dome. Kurtis returns the favor with a big boot of his own.

JACK JONES: Looks like Kurtis is in a giving mood as well.

The ref rushes for the bell, DING DING DING! The break dancing champ is found on the mat both shoulders down with a shoe print on his forehead, Kurtis goes for the cover. ONE, TWO and there is too much heart in Dynamite to go out by a simple boot. Kurtis goes to feel on his face with the back side of his hand, Stone's hand has left a mark on the side of his face. He then picks up Stone's body, tosses him into the ropes, Stone bounces off with a body splash, just not enough momentum --- Kurtis catches him in a bear hug.

BILL HEWSON: You can tell it's locked in tightly, look at the expression on Stone's face.

JACK JONES: Oh really? I always Stone was just a great actor.

Kurtis having enough of the bear hug, he brings Stone down for a BIG SPINEBUSTER!

JACK JONES: This is why you always let the bigger win, regardless. One day that guy may be Matthew Kurtis.

BILL HEWSON: He's not mad from the loss, he's mad from the slap.

JACK JONES: How convenient. He just happened to get slapped after losing.

BILL HEWSON: He did the Hokey-Pokey, that's taboo in dancing.

JACK JONES: Sure it is.

BILL HEWSON: Oh brother.

JACK JONES: What brother?

Stone still on the floor, Kurtis makes his way to the ropes comes off the ropes he goes for a leg drop. THUD! Kurtis lands bum first on the canvas, Stone on his feet already feet, rushes to ropes, hops over the sitting Kurtis and into the ropes once again and comes off with a huge drop kick to the back Kurtis' head. His head snaps right to the mat.

JACK JONES: That's the biggest "W" I've ever seen. Kurtis' head right between those tree-tunk legs of his from the impact!

Stone now exits the ropes and rests on the apron, he stalks Kurtis. Kurtis makes it to one knee. Stone with great timing, he springboards. Kurtis makes it to his feet only to be welcomed by Stone's missile drop kick. It's not enough to knock the big man down, he only stumbles to ropes. Stone begins to deliver knees to the midsection of Kurtis. He goes for an Irish whip, only to be reversed into an Irish whip by Kurtis. Coming off the ropes, Stone is then tossed into the air like a pillow and is caught by the person who threw him. BAM! Stone collides with the mat, courtesy of a huge power slam.

Kurtis going for the second cover of the match. ONE, TWO, THR... and a kick out. The torn crowd roars in relief and disappointment all at once. Kurtis now picks up Stone, tucks him under his armpit, and lifts the pimp's arm over his head. Then, he lifts up Stone and keeps him at a vertical base. The Angry American showcases his strength by walking to the middle of the ring, he begins to do squats with Stone resting on his shoulders all one-hundred-seventy-one pounds of him!

BILL HEWSON: That's pure strength!

JACK JONES: He needs to be my bodyguard!

Kurtis isn't done yet, he squats again, this time while going down for the squat he slides Stone into fireman's carry position. He lifts up Stone by the legs and forehead and places him into the military press position. He now begins to do gorilla presses.

BILL HEWSON: I stand corrected. THAT is pure strength!

JACK JONES: Hell! I'll pay him double. Wait, nah, I'm not that crazy.

Kurtis tosses Stone into the air. Kurtis then walks off. Something is wrong, no sound of Stone hitting the ground. Kurtis is now fully aware of this he turns around, and walks straight into an eye poke. Stone races to the ropes, returns to Kurtis, he slides under the big boot that was waiting for him. He jumps onto the back of Kurtis like one big problem, he locks in a sleeper hold. Kurtis tries to yank him off, Stone shakes his head, looks like he's here to stay. Kurtis backs into a corner, still locked in. He backs up again with more speed. Still locked in.

JACK JONES: That's the pimp grip!

The Angry American approaches the center of the ring and falls back. Stone cries out a big "NOOOOOOOO!" Before being CRUSHED under the carcass of the big man. He finally releases the hold. Kurtis rolls over to recover. The referee checks on the downed Kurtis. The pimp interrupts the referee using him to play leapfrog to land a leg drop on Kurtis. He goes for the pin. One Two a huge kick out. He tosses Stone out of the ring through the bottom the rope. Stone makes his way back to the apron, just as Kurtis makes it to his knees. Stone is now on the apron both feet, he pumps the crowd up. YAKUZA KICK! Stone was a bit to quick, Kurtis hangs on the ropes favoring his "kids" --- Stone springboards! Does a one-eighty! Balances himself on the ropes, his leg then connects to the back of the head of Kurtis! Face first onto the ropes, Stone does a backwards cartwheel into the ring, MattÕs head bounces off the ropes causing him to tumble back into the ring.

JACK JONES: Did he do what he think he just did?

BILL HEWSON: Yes, a modified Rocker Dropper and Marty Janetty made that move famous.

JACK JONES: He'd be proud to see that. Hell, maybe NAPW can book him, I hear he works for a perm and a ham sandwich.

BILL HEWSON: WILL you be serious?

Stone making his way off the rope, Kurtis now on one knee. Kurtis EXPLODES, on Stone with a Clothesline from hell. NO! Stone too fast for the big man. Stone jumps to the second rope, he moonsaults... The Angry American walks right into it. Stone hooks the leg, ONE, TWO, kick out. Stone full of energy, rushes to the turnbuckle, bottom rope, second rope, third rope he jumps a second moonsault this time the Big Man catches him. He takes him into the turnbuckle back first, exits and then slams him to mat. He picks up Stone, knees him in the gut one time, he doubles over, Kurtis screams out "THIS IS IT!" The crowd knows what's next, the jump out of their seats, going bananas! IT'S THE BLUEGRASS BOMB! He places Stone, he lifts, he lets him rest, WEDGIEBOMB--- WAIT! Stone slides over and rolls him up, sunset flip into a leg grab! ONE, TWO, THREE!

FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of the match as a result of a pinfall... DYNAMITE STONE ZELLLLLLLOR!

JACK JONES: OH MY GOD, HE DID IT! HE STOLE VICTORY! AGAINST MY FUTURE BODYGUARD!

BILL HEWSON: I'd guess you better start looking for other talent, Krenshov maybe? He might need work after slapping that fan earlier! In any event, Stone Zellor gets the flash pin against the dominant Matthew Kurtis and goes onto a title shot triple-threat next week! This crowd hated to see either man lose, but they sure loved that match.

Stone exits the ring and begins to strut down the aisle, Lyndsey rushes out to go assist her man. Stone blows a kiss at her and asks "How you doin'?" Lyndsey rolls her eyes and ignores Stone, sliding into the ring. Meanwhile, Kurtis sits in the ring wondering "What the hell just happened?" The crowd applauds both men for a highly entertaining match-up!

JACK JONES: She laughed hard when I showed it to her.

BILL HEWSON: So she didn't do it?

JACK JONES: Nope changed her mind after seeing it. That's the last time I'm agreeing to get matching tattoos.

BILL HEWSON: Can I see it?

JACK JONES: OK... (starts taking of his pants)

BILL HEWSON: NEVER MIND!

FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is set for one fall, AND is for the NAPW UNIFIED PROVINCIAL CHAMPIONSHIP!

"Cocky" begins to play through the Polish Hall. The fans get on their feet, and scream to the high heavens. "The Show" has arrived. He is looking totally focused as he makes his way to the ring. He gets in and the fans start cheering louder. He chooses a corner as the music stops and Frank Warburton earns his money.

FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing the challenger. He weighed in tonight at two hundred thirty pounds. He is fighting out of Paducah, Kentucky. He is THE LAST ACTION! HERO... He is THE SHOW.... He is CHAAAADD KURTIS!

The cheers... they are quickly turned into a wave of hate. "When the Lights Go Out" brings out the champ. David Banks is with Lloyd Rees tonight, and the duo let the fans know they don't like them. They argue with the fans all the way to the ring. Rees gets in the ring, and locks eyes with his opponent.

FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent. He is accompanied to the ring by David Banks. He weighed in at Two hundred forty seven pounds. He is fighting out of Bell Island, Newfoundland. He is the current NAPW Unified Provincial Champion... THE TECHNICAL TERROR... THE LDK... LLOYD REEEEEES!

BILL HEWSON: This is going to be an awesome contest. These men are going to give their all for that belt.

JACK JONES: Chad Kurtis might be the "Show", but Rees.. he's the whole damn company. What hasn't he done here?

BILL HEWSON: Never been tag champ...

JACK JONES: Next week, baby!

The bell sounds and we are underway. John Sharplin is the ref. Rees and Kurtis circle the ring. They lock up collar and elbow style. Rees pushes Kurtis toward the ropes. Chad pushes back. They are battling for position and they break it off. No advantage either way, and Chad Kurtis with a huge smack across the face of Rees. Rees comes back with five across the face too. They eye each other and begin trading blows. Right hand by Rees. Right from Chad. Rees. Chad. Chad with two in a row. Rees grabs Chad and throws him into the ropes. "The Show" rebounds and catches Rees boot with his hands. He reverses the kick attempt, spins Rees around and drop kicks Rees in the back of the head. Rees stumbles into the far corner.

BILL HEWSON: Great wrestling technique shining through right now.

Chad runs at Rees who doesn't see him. Crucifix pin attempt by Chad Kurtis. John Sharplin in with the count.

One...

Two... Kick out by Rees.

JACK JONES: Rees is the most resilient man in NAPW. He is truly amazing.

BILL HEWSON: Does he pay you to kiss butt like that?

Chad picks up Rees and hits a DDT. He kicks Rees, who rolls to his stomach in pain. Leg-drop to the back of the neck/head area of the Champ. He picks Rees up looks to be going for another DDT, but it's countered into a Northern Lights Suplex for a pin.

One...

Tw.. Kick out with authority by Chad Kurtis. Rees gets up and quickly locks on the Lance Cove Leg-lock. Chad Kurtis to the ropes immediately.

JACK JONES: He got so lucky right there. He was going to tap out to the Technical Terror.

BILL HEWSON: Chad isn't quitting in this match.

Chad gets up and begins throwing hay-makers at Rees. John Sharplin tells him to open up the fists, or he will get Disqualified. Chad Kurtis throws Rees into the corner. Chad rushes in for a clothesline... but catches a boot to the face. Rees gets into position and locks on an Abdominal Stretch. Rees cranks on it, adding in some punches to the side. John is checking if Chad wants to continue. Rees reaches and grabs the ropes for leverage. Chad screams louder, and John Sharplin looks around. He sees the rope moving and asks Rees if he was cheating. Rees shakes his head, and Sharplin makes him break the hold. Rees scoops up Chad and slams him hard. Pin-fall attempt.

One...

Two... Kick out by "The Show."

BILL HEWSON: Chad Kurtis didn't come here to lose. Rees will have to kill him tonight.

JACK JONES: The frame of mind Rees is in over the attack on John Salty, he is capable of anything.

Rees looks frustrated. He picks up Kurtis, who elbows him in the stomach. Rees doubles over, and recieves a high knee lift to the chest. Rees staggers into the ropes. Chad with an Irish whip. Rees hangs onto the ropes as Chad misses a drop kick. Rees sizes up Chad and runs to the ropes...

JACK JONES: FRESH WATER FLIP!

The cover...

One...

Two... Kick out by Chad Kurtis.

Rees is really frustrated now. He picks up Chad, but Chad throws Rees through the ropes. Rees to the floor. David Banks helps Rees up. Chad Kurtis jumps on the top rope...

BILL HEWSON: SHOOTING STAR PRESS OFF THE TOP ROPE!

JACK JONES: How dare he try to injure LDK!

BILL HEWSON: The crowd is chanting CHAD! CHAD!

JACK JONES: SOMEONE CHECK ON BANKS AND REES!

All three men are down. The crowd is going crazy. Chad is up, and the crowd roars. He throws Rees into the ring. Chad is pumped up. He gets Rees set up for a German Suplex. He nails it, and rolls with it.

BILL HEWSON: TWO GERMAN SUPLEXES! He rolls a THIRD TIME.

Chad goes for it, but Rees kicks his leg between Chad's legs for a low blow, that John Sharplin didn't see from his angle. Rees switches behind Chad and nails a Release German Suplex... they are both down.

JACK JONES: REES IS AMAZING!

BILL HEWSON: He cheated!

JACK JONES: What match are you watching?

John Sharplin sees that neither man is moving. He begins his count.

One... Two... Three...

BILL HEWSON: Rees is out.

Four... Five...

JACK JONES: Chad is stirring.

Six...

JACK JONES: YES! So is Rees.

Seven...

BILL HEWSON: Chad grabs the bottom rope. The count is eight.

JACK JONES: Rees is on one knee.

Nine...

BILL HEWSON: Chad grabs the second rope and gets to his feet.

Rees is groggy and CHAD KNOCKS HIS HEAD OFF! SUPER KICK STYLE.

ONE...

TWO...

KICK-OUT BY REES.

BILL HEWSON: How did he get out?

JACK JONES: He is the LDK... that's how!

Chad starts feeling the crowd. He goes to the corner... IT'S THE BEST MOONSAULT EVER!

The cover...

ONE...

TWO...

THR- KICK-OUT!

Chad might have knocked the wind out of himself. He hit that move flush. Rees gets up slowly. He looks to be going for the Conception Bay Chinlock... But Chad gets in the ropes. Sharplin gets Rees off of Chad. Kurtis goes outside the ring as Rees argues with John Sharplin for getting in his way. Rees doesn't see it coming...

BILL HEWSON: CHAD CATAPULTS HIMSELF OVER THE TOP ROPE AND HIT'S A SWINGING DDT ON REES. He goes for the pin! One! TWO! TH---no! Kick-out again!

JACK JONES: Rees will not die.

Chad sets Rees onto the top turnbuckle. He climbs the ropes too.

BILL HEWSON: TOP ROPE FRANKENSTEINER INTO A PIN!

JACK JONES: WAIT REES ROLLS THROUGH. HE HAS CHAD PINNED!

ONE...

TWO...

THREE! NO! CHAD GETS A SHOULDER UP!

Rees gets up slowly and picks up Chad. DDT FROM THE GREEN! Rees with the cover.

ONE...

TWO..

KICK-OUT BY CHAD KURTIS.

BILL HEWSON: What will it take to end this match? Chad Kurtis has never been this awesome in the ring.

JACK JONES: I got to admit, he has almost impressed me. Almost.

Rees gets up and is upset big time. Rees picks up Chad again. Chad tries a kick to the stomach, but gets caught. ENZIGURI BY KURTIS. Rees is hurt bad. Chad looks to the crowd. He sets up Rees.

BILL HEWSON: CK FINALE! THIS IS IT! NOBODY HAS EVER KICKED OUT OF THE CK FINALE!

ONE...

TWO...

THRE...

JACK JONES: WAIT...FOOT ON THE ROPE!

And while the ref wasn't looking, David Banks propped the foot Rees on the rope, and the air is let out of the Polish Hall. Chad gets up, looks to hit another one. Rees doesn't let him, and throws Chad into the corner. He runs in with a clothesline. Chad slumps in the corner. Rees picks Chad up into the Power-bomb position.

JACK JONES: NISH J DROP.

THE COUNT!

ONE...

TWO...

THREE...

BILL HEWSON:SHOULDER UP!

JACK JONES: HOW THE HELL?

Rees and Chad look exhausted. Rees doesn't waste time... CONCEPTION BAY CHIN-LOCK APPLIED. The aren't far from the ropes however. John Sharplin asks Chad if he submits... no answer. John checks Chad's arm, and it goes limp. He does it a second time..

LIMP. He tries one more time...

IT STAYS UP. Chad maneuvers and gets his legs on the ropes.

BILL HEWSON: CHAD SURVIVES! Rees can't believe it. They get to their feet once again. They trade fists. Right to Rees. Left to Chad. Right... Left... Chad ducks and tries to get Rees in the CK Finale position. Rees blocks it, he sneaks behind and rolls up Chad.

He has the tights.. ONE...

and his feet on the rope... TWO...

and the WIN... NOT LIKE THIS!

THREE!

FRANK WARBURTON: The winner and STILL NAPW PROVINCIAL CHAMPION... LDK LLOYD REES!

BILL HEWSON: I can't believe that! He couldn't do it without cheating.

JACK JONES: Cheating?

BILL HEWSON: Chad Kurtis put on the best performance of his NAPW life... and Rees takes it with tights in hand.

JACK JONES: LDK BABY! Still champ!

Banks pulls LDK out of the ring, handing him the Provincial title. LDK cradles it in his arms like it was a baby... he escaped out of this match as champion by the veritable skin on his teeth. In the ring, Chad Kurtis is stunned, upset. The crowd is booing Lloyd... but as Lloyd exits and his music stops, they note Chad Kurtis on his feet, exhaustion showing on every line on his face.

BILL HEWSON: Perhaps the single greatest match in Chad Kurtis' wrestling career tonight... it is a travesty that he is not walking out of The Polish Hall tonight the undisputed Provincial Champion. This man deserves better than he got from LDK.

The crowd rise to their feet, however. Chad Kurtis looks stunned, looking around as if he doesn't believe what he's hearing.

The fans are on their feet, clapping, applauding, cheering. A standing ovation for a valiant effort.

Kurtis looks over, wincing, chest heaving. He pounds his chest and points out to the crowd. As he leaves, chants of "Uncrowned champ! Uncrowned champ!" rise up above the general din and chaos.

BILL HEWSON: ...and since that day, I never miss an opportunity to read a bedtime story to my beautiful little girl. I never imagined it would be such a rewarding experience.

JACK JONES: How can you expect me to like that story? There's no gambling. Or betting at the track. Or bookies. Geez.

BILL HEWSON: Oh Jack Attack, when will you ever learn?

Center of the ring. Frank Warburton. The best throat in all Edmonton.

FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is the TRIPLE-THREAT match-up! Introducing the wrestlers...

Canadian indie-rock darlings Muse playing at an NAPW show? What, no AC/DC? Wait a minute... it's not Public Enemy, but there is no mistaking the trench-coated, cowboy hat-wearing figure that strides through the curtain to the sounds of "Knights of Cydonia." The crowd pops.

Big time.

FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first! Accompanied to the ring by his manager Bill Fleming, he hails from ST ALBERT ALBERTA, he stands six-feet three-inches tall and weighs in at two-hundred and seventy pounds! Ladies and gentlemen, Bruce Richards... THEEEEEE BEAAAAAAST!

BILL HEWSON: More or less a hometown boy, St. Albert a suburb of Edmonton! Although the demise of The New & Improved D-X saw the demise of one of the greatest tag teams of the past decade, there can be no denying that this man right here is on a hot streak! He has won three straight matches, including the huge match against former partner Stylin' Kyle Roberts at Sole Survivor II, a match where he beat Kyle so bad the man ran off to REBEL Pro Wrestling!

JACK JONES: Whoa there, spin-zone! Stylin' Kyle Roberts did not "RUN" to REBEL Pro Wrestling. He realized these NAPW fans could never appreciate his true talent, and that no-good Rex Caliber owning the joint... well... it's not like Kyle Roberts was ever going to get a fair shake.

BILL HEWSON: Believe it if you must.

JACK JONES: I do.

The Beast hits the ring, looking things over intently. Bill Fleming is standing on the ring apron, clapping The Beast on the shoulders with some last-minute hype. Not that The Beast needs it from the expression on his face. Muse fades away, to be replaced by the unmistakeable sounds of Tool... and the goth cheering section in the front row goes nuts even as the rest of the audience erupts in boos.

FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing second hailing from The Shadows... at five-feet, ten inches tall weighing two-hundred and forty pounds... ladies and gentlemen, SEBASTIENNNNNN MARRRRRTYRRRRR!

BILL HEWSON: A shame that this contest will not feature Simply Beautiful, thanks to Brian Bruno's attack earlier tonight... Looks like Martyr's got his own crew here tonight. The ego on this man... he truly believes he is some kind of "spiritual leader" to people, that he represents some kind of "new order." I hope he gets his butt kicked here tonight.

JACK JONES: Bias! Bias! How can you sit there and call yourself a responsible broadcast journalist?

BILL HEWSON: It's brilliantly easy sitting next to you.

JACK JONES: I --- hey!

Martyr makes a point of circling the ring to face his fans. The Deacon Al B. Damned and the other followers all bow their heads as Martyr closes his eyes and seems to... apparently "bless" them. Martyr smirks, every so slightly, before climbing into the ring. He gets in and casually rests in a corner, that implacable, irritating grin never leaving his face. The Beast stands in the center of the ring, hell, he wants to get it on right now...

But there's still one more man to go here.

Wah wah KICK IT.

"My reflection/dirty mirror
Is no connection
To myself!
I'm your lover I'm your zero!
I'm the face in your dreams of glass!"

"Zero" by the Smashing Pumpkins kicks in and there's no denying the huge reaction that welcomes the entrance of a massive man. He is wearing two title belts around his waist... and the record-setting crowd is going crazy.

FRANK WARBURTON: And finally! Hailing from Houston Texas, he stands six-feet, seven inches tall and weighs three-hundred and thirty-five pounds! Representing A1 Entertainment as their tag and World Champions... he is "THE EGO BUSTER"...

DANNNNNN RYANNNNNNNN!

BILL HEWSON: A huge reaction for this wrestling superstar, a man on national television every week as part of A1E. Can you believe it, Jack Attack? The day after NAPW announces Dan Ryan making an appearance on this card, the man wins the A1E Championship! He is a physical force, a dominating presence, and he is indeed a wild-card in this contest... especially now that Simply Beautiful is out of it. What do you make of it, Jack Jones?

JACK JONES: Dan Ryan? The Ego Buster? Who gives a rat's ass? What's he done? Won a few shiny belts?

BILL HEWSON: A few dozen, in point of fact. The man is WEARING the A1E Tag and World title belts right now!

JACK JONES: Hewson, what does A1E stand for?

BILL HEWSON: Why, A1 Entertainment.

JACK JONES: So what you're telling me then... is that Dan Ryan is the "Entertainment Champion Of The World." You know what I call, Hewson? Wrestling. The name on the marquee says wrestling, goddammit! NAPW doesn't need "entertainment" casualties like Dan Ryan! Dan Ryan couldn't carry my jock strap!

BILL HEWSON: Well you're entitled to your opinion, it's a free country, but these fans clearly disagree with you.

Dan Ryan has hit the four-corners, the crowd is abuzz. He takes off his shades. The Beast and Dan Ryan with a staredown... not often The Beast is outweighed and outpowered. They shake hands. Sebastien Martyr sniggers from the corner. The referee, pint-sized Morgan Smythe, has to get in between him and The Beast to prevent this from getting completely out of hand early on. Ryan looks composed...

DING DING DING.

There's the bell, this is triple-threat rules - all three men legal at any given time, first submission or pinfall ends it. Martyr seems content to slouch in the corner, waving at the other two men to go at it. The Beast and Dan Ryan tie-up! Big power battle here, two thickly built slabs of hot sexy man... oh, I'm sorry, did I go off there? Two bruising, mean, manly men trying to outmuscle the other. And they are going at it Finlay/Benoit old-school style, neither man able to gain the advantage. Ryan has a sixty-pound weight advantage on The Beast but Richards' has strength to spare. They jockey for position, grunting, spinning to the ropes and back out until finally...

Stalemate.

They break, the crowd eating it up. The Beast and Dan Ryan circle, taking each other's measure. And again they tie up! The same result, no, Dan Ryan powers The Beast into a neutral corner. Referee calls for a break, she gets one, but this time Dan Ryan established dominance. The Beast rotates a shoulder. Bill Fleming claps on the outside, shouting "Come on Beast, you can take him."

Once again Dan Ryan and Bruce Richards lock up. Over six-hundred pounds of humanity using sheer brute force to win an advantage. Dan Ryan again seems to overmatch The Beast... but no, The Beast with a sudden surge pushes Dan Ryan into the corner. Referee Morgan Smythe calls for the break. She gets it. The crowd applauds. Who says power wrestling can't be awesome?

BILL HEWSON: The Beast refuses to be intimidated here tonight by the reputation and following of Dan Ryan. The crowd is split nearly dead-even right now...

JACK JONES: At least Martyr's disciples have good taste.

BILL HEWSON: I would say most of the crowd respects the strength they just saw. But that man right there, Sebastien Martyr, doesn't seem to appreciate it the same way.

Martyr has finally gotten back up, and much as he did earlier tonight vs Tommy Deathrow, he's giving a golf clap. Boo. He motions for Dan Ryan and The Beast to lock-up again, mockingly. The Beast and Dan Ryan look into each other's eyes. Shrug x2. Annnnnd...

YEAHHHHHH!

The crowd goes nuts as Ryan and The Beast turn towards Sebastien Martyr, Ryan cracking a grin. The Beast cracks his knuckles. And suddenly Martyr realizes...

BILL HEWSON: They're coming for you, Sebastien! All six-hundred combined pounds!

And with that, Martyr immediately tries to get the hell out of Dodge. He's no dummy... but he only makes it halfway out before Dan Ryan grabs him by the back of the shorts. He yanks him back into the ring and props the much smaller Martyr against the ropes --- unloading with an open hand chop! WHOOOOO! Martyr's eyes pop out of his head and he dances in pain, but that doesn't spare him from another thunderous chop, this time from The Beast. Ryan shoves Martyr against the ropes again, CHOP.

WHOOOOOOOO!

The Beast takes a turn! CHOP.

WHOOOOOOOOO!

Dan Ryan's up next, but hey, that t-shirt is softening the blows. He tears it off Martyr's chest, revealing the upside down cross tattoo. Martyr is measured... CHOP.

The sickening thud of Ryan's knife-edge chop against the man's bare chest echos through the Polish Hall! WHOOOOOOOOO!

The Beast shoves Dan Ryan out of the way. "That's the best you can do?"

CHOP = AWESOME.

WHOOOOOOOOO!

Sebastien Martyr's chest is red and covered in welts, and his mouth hangs open in pain from the last chop from The Beast. Dan Ryan takes exception to The Beast's chop challenge, however...

CHOP

WHOOOOOOOO!

The Beast looks pissed off, he and Ryan get nose-to-nose. DOUBLE-CHOP! WHOOOOOOO! THEY'RE CHOPPING THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF SEBASTIEN MARTYR! THE CROWD IS GOING WILD!

BILL HEWSON: Dan Ryan showing that he knows how to bring some good old-fashioned CANADIAN VIOLENCE! You can hear the sick thud of the chops from Ryan and The Beast smacking across Martyr's chest. Those red welts may never go away!

JACK JONES: I thought this was supposed to be a *wrestling* match. Chops aren't wrestling!

BILL HEWSON: They're more legal than a punch!

CHOP x2 again, Martyr gasping, and now finally The Beast and Dan Ryan have grown weary of their sport. Double irish whip sends Martyr hurtling across the ring --- rebound --- The Beast catches the man with a disgusting lariat! Martyr takes a sick bump off of that, but he doesn't get much time to recover as Ryan immediately picks him up. Again to the ropes, rebound, this time into a high-angle belly to belly suplex that sees him skidding across the ring. Martyr is close enough to the apron and with it enough to roll to the outside as the crowd is STANDING, loud and vocal about their delight in this ass-kicking. "EGO BUSTER, BRUCE THE BEAST, EGO BUSTER, BRUCE THE BEAST!"

Ryan and The Beast know they're still opponents, and now they choose to go at it. Dan Ryan wins the lock-up and cinches in a headlock. He wrenches it in, The Beast however hits a big back suplex. He's got "The Ego Buster" down momentarily, choosing to drop a Beast-sized legdrop across the back of Ryan's head. That puts the man down, first pinfall of the match coming up here. One --- and it's ONLY a one as Dan Ryan powers out. The Beast throws a forearm and then pulls Dan Ryan to his feet. Irish whip to the corner RYAN EXPLODES OUT! SPINEBUSTER ON THE CHARGING BEAST! Good GOD! That's 270 pounds that Dan Ryan just manhandled like it was nothing! Ryan makes cover! ONE...

ONE.

The Beast takes HIS turn to kick out with authority. Ryan's non-plussed, he's a pro. And he's quick to hammer down on The Beast to keep control. He smashes the back of The Beast's neck and locks on a full-nelson. He likes the Full-Nelson slam, but The Beast...roars. He can't possibly break the Ego Buster's full-nelson, can he?

The Edmonton fans are shocked as The Beast seems to be outmuscling Dan Ryan... and Dan Ryan himself seems a bit surprised, as he chooses to immediately hit the slam rather than cause more pain first in the lock. And now Dan Ryan... what's he doing here? He's 335 pounds, and he's looking at the top rope? What in the blue hell? Dan Ryan points at the top ropes... he steps to the ring apron, the crowd getting to their feet again. Ryan leaps up! SPRINGBOARD NO MARTYR! Sebastien Martyr reached up and grabbed Ryan's ankle in mid-leap. Ryan crashes down and bashes his chin on the ring apron, but does remain standing. Unfortunately for "The Ego Buster," Sebastien Martyr follows it up with Dark Daze --- on the concrete!

BILL HEWSON: Sebastien Martyr is back in this match-up after the sneak attack on his part! Dan Ryan was going for his famed slingshot legdrop and now... he may be out of this match, Jack Jones.

And indeed, Bruce Richards has gotten to his feet as Dan Ryan lays face-down on the concrete. Before Richards can react, Martyr rushes in... Dark Daze 2. He puts The Beast down, sitting up with a satisfied smirk. He reaches over and hooks the leg, one, two, kick-out by The Beast. Martyr with a brief scowl but he goes to work, hooking a head-scissors. He brings the upper leg down repeatedly across The Beast's neck and face before squeezing it on. Smythe asks The Beast if he wants to continue, that's a big 10-4. Martyr releases and gets up, cinching a reverse chinlock. He's trying to cut the air off for The Beast... and now he switches it up to Morpheus, his version of a rear naked choke. Martyr could put this one away here...

Hold on! The Beast is shaking his arm, he's not going anywhere. The Beast... is somehow getting to his feet... with Sebastien Martyr on his back! And he backs up, right into the turnbuckle. Martyr doesn't let go, The Beast squashes him into the turnbuckle again. One, two, three steps out and The Beast leaps up and falls backwards... crushing Martyr right underneath him! Martyr rolls around in agony as The Beast immediately goes to the top rope... talk about a big man flying, Edmonton fans never get tired of seeing this. 270 pounds of BEAST perched on top... and you better believe it's a Vadar-quality MOOOOONSAULT! Connects! ONE! TWO! Th---

Martyr gets the shoulder up, he's not done yet.

The Beast pulls up Sebastien Martyr, it's time for the CHART ATTACK. He hoists Martyr onto his shoulders --- Martyr gouges the eyes and slips out behind. Wait a minute, Dan Ryan is getting back into the ring! YAKUZA KICK FOR MARTYR --- Sebastien ducks! RYAN TAKES OUT THE BEAST. The huge size eighteen boot of Dan Ryan right into the kisser of Bruce Richards, who goes down. Not Ryan's aim, but it is every man for himself in this one Martyr with a sudden roll-up, he's got the tights, one, two, Ryan gets out of that one. And Martyr, knowing the size difference he gives up to Dan Ryan, immediately goes down and starts unloading brutal right and left hands onto the face of The Ego Buster. Morgan Smythe wants a break, Sebastien ignores her until she's forced to grab onto his wrist to try to break. Martyr immediately stands up and grabs Smythe by the wrist! She knows her authority, telling Martyr to let go of her hand or else it's a DQ.

BILL HEWSON: Come off it Sebastien, she's a referee! And a woman! Get your hands off of her!

JACK JONES: She's in a wrestling ring, Hewson, she's fair game.

Martyr ... opens up. He smirks at Smythe, leering. He turns around and kicks a rising Dan Ryan right in the back of the head with those heavy boots of his. Martyr turns him over... neckbreaker, Rick Rude style. Martyr gets a cover, only a two count. He puts the choke on Dan Ryan. That Dark Daze on the concrete shook the A1E champion, no doubt. The Beast is back on his feet, trying to get into the ring --- baseball slide by Martyr catches him right in the face, sending him into the guardrail. Martyr looks down at Dan Ryan, then out at the fans. "This is your 'star,' is it? I'll show you what I do to 'stars.'" Martyr lets Ryan get half-way up, toe-kick, hooks the arms... he's going for The Sacrifice.

But the powerful Dan Ryan instead back body drops Martyr! Sebastien gets up in a hurry

SUPERKICK

Martyr goes down from Dan Ryan's patented superkick! Call it the Zerokick, call it what you will but it's damn effective. Martyr goes down like a sack of potatoes and now, Dan Ryan is back to his feet. He blinks once, twice, and then - snap - the focus returns to his eyes. He signals to the fans that it's time... for a little HUMILITY.

BILL HEWSON: Dan Ryan has Sebastien Martyr in position! If he hits this, it's all over! He hoists him up...

JACK JONES: Martyr can get out of this! Use the power of greyskull!

BILL HEWSON: HUMILITY BOMB! SEBASTIEN MARTYR JUST GOT PLANTED BY DAN RYAN!

The crowd has come unglued! Martyr is folded up like a cheap according! Dan Ryan hooks the leg, crowd yelling along ONE... TWO... THREE ---

It WOULD be three.

If, you know, that 270 pound Beast didn't come crashing in to break it up from the top rope! BEAST SPLASH!

The Beast picks up Dan Ryan --- playtime is OVER. The Beast is in it to win it... right hand! Ryan fires back! SLUGFEST IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!

BILL HEWSON: They're going at like everything is on the line, because of the greatest motivating factor for any professional wrestling: Pride! It's bustin' loose in Alberta!

JACK JONES: Well I do have to say... HOLY HELLLL!

RYAN! THE BEAST! RYAN! THE BEAST! HOLY HELLLLL indeed! The Beast sends Dan Ryan to the ropes --- reversed --- The Beast comes off the ropes and gets caught by a toe-kick! It's his turn to feel the Humility Bomb... The Beast, however, showing incredible agility for a big fan, flips out and lands on his feet! Toe-kick himself, hoisting Dan Ryan onto his SHOULDERS! CHART ATTACK ON THE A1E WORLD CHAMPION! AND IT---

CONNNNNECTS!

Okay, so this is the point where the crowd, you know, they just completely go apple. I mean like red delicious apple.

BILL HEWSON: CHART ATTACK! CHART ATTACK! THE COVER! ONE! TWO! THREEEE--- SEBASTIEN MARTYR!

JACK JONES: Never count out the dark horse!

BILL HEWSON: Martyr attacks The Beast --- NO! BEAST! Martyr goes to the corner the hard way! And here comes The Beast with a HEAD OF STEAM NO! NO! Martyr just pulled the referee in the way! And all one-hundred and forty pounds of Morgan Smythe...

JACK JONES: Haha, just met the Beast Express!

BILL HEWSON: The Beast has Martyr... Cobra Clutch Bomb! He covers! But...

JACK JONES: Where's the referee? Oh, right, the careless idiot just creamed her.

The Beast is frustrated, but also concerned. He took out a poor woman. He checks on Morgan... and unfortunately for him, Martyr is able to recover enough for a low blow. He grabs the weakened Beast, hooks the arms... and hits THE SACRIFICE! But Martyr himself cannot make a pinfall with the referee down. He backs up, considering his options...

Bump.

Martyr shifts his eyes from right to left, then reaches behind him. Nose. Ears. Height. Martyr audibly sighs as the crowd buzzes. Ryan wraps his huge arms around Martyr's waist Release German Suplex! Martyr flips in mid-air and lands on his belly from the momentum! Dan Ryan stalks Sebastien...

And then all chaos breaks loose as Al B. Damned and the Goth 'N' Go Girls are suddenly in the ring! The big Al jumps on Dan Ryan, three of the girls screaming and jumping on his back! Dan Ryan is suddenly being assaulted as Martyr breaks out with an evil grin. The other girls have assaulted the rising Bruce The Beast! The Beast isn't going to hit them, but he's got wild and crazy women all over him. And not in the good kind. This match is breaking down with the referee out.

BILL HEWSON: We have complete pandemonium out here --- did that girl just BITE Bruce Richards?

JACK JONES: That ain't the kind of girl you bring home to momma, Hewson! This is great!

BILL HEWSON: This isn't wrestling! You hypocrite!

However, comedy aside, things aren't looking good as Sebastien Martyr has taken advantage of the, oh, nine on two odds to introduce a steel chair into the ring. He calls off the girls on Bruce, raises the chair up --- Bill Fleming! Fleming grabs the chair from Martyr! And HE swings, but Martyr side-steps and plants Fleming with a DDT in the ring. Meanwhile, Dan Ryan... well, how do you explain this.

OMG WTF Dan Ryan is being assaulted by eight hot --- but evil --- but hot goth girls on the outside! He doesn't look in any danger, more bemused, at least until one of them scratches his back violently drawing blood. Ryan trying to swat off the women without unleashing his full-strength on them, he's no woman-beating woman-beater alright!

In the ring, unfortunately... Bruce The Beast is dazed and being held by Al B. Damned. Martyr has the chair again, kicking Fleming for good measure. Martyr holds Beast's chin in his fingers, speaking softly... and then he raises the chair above his head!

BILL HEWSON: This is horrible... wait a minute. Jack Attack, do you hear that?

JACK JONES: Who's playing that FUNKY MUSIC?

Who INDEED --- The lights in the building go out, replaced by funky multi-colored effects! And then one big spotlight shines on the curtain... Tiffany Macintyre? NO. NOT TIFF.

A white tank top. A short blue skirt. Black boots. Sunglasses and a black coat. Her blonde hair falls around her head in big 70s ringlets.

BILL HEWSON: Is that who I THINK IT IS?

JACK JONES: It can't be! She's a myth! An urban legend I tells ya!

BILL HEWSON: No, it really is! It's --- it's ---

WHITE CHOCOLATE!

The funk don't STOP, baby, as WHITE CHOCOLATE rushes down to the ring while maintaining RHYTHM! She BITCH SLAPS a Goth N' Go Girl out of her way! Here comes another one, watch out oh noes --- SPIN KICK! In platforms no less, good God! Dan Ryan is still being swarmed by Goth N Go Girls! But WHITE CHOCOLATE runs right past them!

She's on the top rope as Al B Damned tries to come from her WHITE CHOCOLATE HURACANRANASTEINERSASSYFRASS! Sebastien Martyr doesn't know what to do!

BILL HEWSON: He's frozen in hot terror! White Chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hands!

JACK JONES: That --- THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!

BILL HEWSON: Never send a woman... to do WHITE CHOCOLATE'S JOB!

JACK JONES: NEITHER DOES THAT!

WHITE CHOCOLATE! She eyes Sebastien Martyr. WAIT! GOTH N GO GIRLS ATTACK! They're coming one at a time! Like NINJAS! GOTH NINJAS! White Chocolate and The Beast send them flying over the top rope! "Hallowe'en was six months ago, GIRLS!" FLIP! FLOP! FLY! Sebastien Martyr is suddenly all alone in the ring --- ESCAPE?

NO NO NO ESCAPE!

CHART ATTACK!

THE BEAST COVERS!

SMYTHE IS CONSCIOUS!

ONE!

TWO!

THREEEEEE!

FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of the match... BRUCE "THE BEAST" RICHAAAAAARRRRRDS!

WHITE CHOCOLATE!

BILL HEWSON: What a FUNKTASTIC turn of events! WHO WOULD HAVE THUNK IT?

JACK JONES: STOP TALKING LIKE THAT!

In the ring, The Beast is roaring in victory... WHITE CHOCOLATE! SASSY! Wait a minute... Dan Ryan just rolled into the ring, leaving Goth N' Go Girls on the aisle. He looks around the black leather clad carnage and the half-conscious Martyr. He shakes his head, grinning, and sticks his hand out to The Beast. They shake! Dan Ryan and The Beast standing shoulder to shoulder. The Beast and WHITE CHOCOLATE! head up the aisle, leaving the Edmonton fans a chance to savor the apperance of Dan Ryan.

BILL HEWSON: What a fantastic match that was... and a treat to have the A1E Champion wrestle right here in Edmonton for these loyal fans! Thank you, Dan Ryan!

JACK JONES: ...you call that WRESTLING? That's it, I'm going back to sniffing glue.

Dan Ryan heads out, his music kicking up. The crowd chant "Please come back! Please come back!" He holds up the A1E tag and world title belts before disappearing through the apron.

All of this leaves Sebastien Martyr in the ring, amidst the strewn bodies of his acolytes. He shakes his head in pain, clearly wondering what the HELL just happened. He begins to get up...

When somebody runs into the ring through the crowd. Not just somebody.

A SUPERSTAR.

The crowd goes nuts as Tommy Deathrow grabs a stunned Martyr, boots him in the junk, and then hits... the deadly! Feared! Never ever kicked out of...

DEATHROW DRIVER!

JACK JONES: This night is a TRAVESTY! This is horrible! Everybody in this entire damn promotion is out to get Sebastien Martyr!

BILL HEWSON: On top of everything we have just seen --- WHITE CHOCOLATE! --- Tommy Deathrow has finally gotten a measure of revenge on Sebastien Martyr! And... oh no.

JACK JONES: What now?

BILL HEWSON: I don't think Tommy is done.

No indeed! Tommy eyes the face-down Martyr and bites his bottom lip. He looks out over the crowd and begins to thrust? Oh dear God. Martyr is crawling towards Al B Damned... and suddenly Tommy is on top of him. Crotch to back of head. Ladies and gentlemen, put the kids to bed. It is time for TOTAL! NONSTOP! TOMMY!

With every humiliating, horrifying thrust, Tommy humps Martyr's head into the canvas! Insult and injury, all in one! The crowd is eating it up, and finally Martyr's facade crumbles as he screams in horror. And as the ladies know, Tommy can go ALLLL NIIIIIGHT LOOOOONNNNNG!

Fortunately for Mr. Martyr, Deathrow's attention span is only so long. Deathrow gets up off of Martyr and staggers drunkenly out of the ring to a tremendous pop.

BILL HEWSON: It has been... a very special night here in NAPW! Dan Ryan! The Beast defeats Martyr! White Chocolate! And now TNT to a very, very traumatized Sebastien Martyr. Once this is cleaned up, Jones... it's main event time.

On the DVD this is where it goes to a nice little package showing the build to Ravager/Casino. In the ring right now, Sebastien Martyr is laying on his back, eyes blinking, staing at the ceiling. What is going through this man's mind after the events of tonight? What indeed...

JACK JONES: ... the doctor had to pull it out, and, Bill Hewson, it hurt worse coming out then it did going in!

BILL HEWSON: I honestly wish I had never heard that. But we're going right into tonight's MAIN EVENT, and what a match it will be!

JACK JONES: That's right. Ravager. Chris Casino. Two amazing competitors. Two of the finest champions ever to step into an NAPW ring. And tonight, they go head-to-head... for the first time. And everything is on the line.

FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for your MAIN EVENT. TITLE vs TITLE. The NAPW CHAMPIONSHIP and the NAPW PURE HONOUR CHAMPIONSHIP will be ON THE LINE... and the match will be contested under Pure Honor rules! The title will change hands on a count-out or disqualification!

"Smooth" The crowd gets hot as CHRIS CASINO, your NAPW Pure Honour Champion, steps out from the curtains. He hoists up his belt - once the proud Kiniski Cup - and smirks at the fans. "Tonight!" He shouts. "The house wins!" The crowd boos all the louder, and he starts down to the ring.

FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, from LAS VEGAS, Nevada, and weighing in at TWO HUNDRED and TWENTY pounds... he is the NAPW PURE HONOUR CHAMPION. CHRIIIISSSSSSSSS CAAASSSSSINOOOOOOOO!

BILL HEWSON: Not a warm reception for the Pure Honour Champion.

JACK JONES: When have these fans EVER given Chris Casino the respect he deserves? He has held that title longer than anyone has EVER held a title in the NAPW. He has his detractors, you chief amongst them, but no one can deny that he is the most successful champion this company will likely ever see. His victims? Simply Beautiful. Matthew Kurtis. Patrick Kidd. Patrick Bickle. Jeff James. Kevin Kodiak. He's beaten them all, because Chris Casino IS Pure Honour. That title belt thrived with him, and tonight, it dies with him. One way, or the other.

Casino hits all four corners, lifting his belt over his head, and polishing off his free shoulder for the belt he intends to drape there later tonight. The crowd continues to boo and heckle him, but he doesn't even bother replying. He just keeps smirking down at them.

And four cellos start humming out "Path". The crowd pops as RAVAGER, the NAPW Champion, emerges from the curtains, title belt worn around is waist. He stops on the ramp.

FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent. From Brooklyn, New York, and weighing in at TWO HUNDRED and TEN pounds. He is your NAPW CHAMPION. The White Collar Assassin... RRRRRRAAVAGERRRRRRR!

The NAPW fans are cheering. Hell, they're chanting "This is awesome!" and Ravager has yet to even GET INTO THE RING. He just stands there. Glaring into the ring. Chris Casino smirks back at him. Ravager reaches behind himself and unfastens his title belt, takes it off, and then holds it high. The message is clear. That's HIS belt. Casino's smirk widens and splits into a grin. He holds up his title belt, hands it to Senior Referee John Sharplin, then shouts toward Ravager over the din. "Ante up, CHAMP."

BILL HEWSON: This is intense! So much on the line! Such a hotly anticipated match-up! Jack Attack... this is possibly one of the biggest matches in the HISTORY of the NAPW.

JACK JONES: Quiet, Hewson! You're ruining the moment!

Ravager drapes his belt over his shoulder, eyes locked on Chris Casino, and starts walking to the ring. A few fans pat him on the shoulder or arm as he passes, but this man has no time for pleasantries. He has a new title to aquire. He steps into the ring, and holds up the coveted NAPW Championship belt again. The crowd cheers!

BILL HEWSON: Ravager has fought long and hard these past few months against some of the toughest competition of his career! Defeating "Perfection" Evan Cartwright to gain the title in the first place was just the first step along a long and difficult road. Since then, Ravager has defended against "LDK" Lloyd Rees, Simply Beautiful, and "Sick" Billy Kryenik, some of the NAPW's hottest stars. Each battle has been epic. Each defense has added, not only to the prestige of the title, but to the man who holds it.

JACK JONES: And it all comes down to tonight. To these next moments. These two men have fought and sacrificed in the ring... but tonight, for one of them, after all that time... they'll be left with nothing.

Ravager has handed the NAPW Championship to Head Referee Dick Kiebiech. Kiebiech and Sharplin each hold up one of the two belts for everyone to see. This is a battle to crown one champion. Someone is going home tonight a failure.

And both of these men want it to be the other.

FRANK WARBURTON: As per the instruction of Commissioner Rex Caliber, the following match is for one fall, either pinfall or submission. In the event of a count out or disqualification, the match WILL BE RESTARTED. To ensure that it is a CLEAN MATCH, Head Referee Dick Kiebiech and Senior Referee John Sharplin are both on hand to officiate. Otherwise, the match is under PURE HONOUR RULES.

The crowd cheers as Frank Warburton collects the belts and vacates the ring. Sharplin and Kiebiech both take one of the competitors to a corner and quickly frisk them for foreign objects. Casino makes sure to give Kiebiech a hard time. Then the two zebras move to safe watching distance, and the two champions walk to the center of the ring. The fans are again chanting "This is awesome!" Casino flips them the bird, then extends a hand. Pure honour rules baby. Ravager grimaces, then goes to shake... only to watch Casino pull his hand away and slick back his hair. "Too slow, baby."

And there's the bell.

Ravager lashes out, nailing Casino right between the eyes. The Pure Honour Champion reels and starts crying foul immediately, clutching his nose, and checking for blood. Dick Kiebiech glares at Ravager and shouts down at Warburton.

FRANK WARBURTON: For an illegal closed fist, Ravager has been penalized his FIRST rope break!

But the fans don't even care. Hell, they're cheering, and Ravager looks smug. Casino, on the other hand, has completely lost his cool. His nose is bleeding a bit, and his eyes are flashing. He screams down at the fans to shut their mouths, and then turns and CHARGES at Ravager, but the NAPW Champion has him scouted. He ducks past a clumsy lariat, watches Casino rebound off the ropes, hooks an arm, and hip tosses Casino right into the middle of the ring. He twists the arm, hooks his legs, then applies a painful looking cross armbar. Casino flails, crying out angrily, and start worming towards the ropes. His foot reaches... and catches the ropes! John Sharplin starts counting to five.

FRANK WARBURTON: Chris Casino has used his FIRST rope break.

Ravager releases the hold, and gives Chris Casino just enough time to get up, before he lays into him with a wicked stiff knife edge chop! Casino howls with pain and clutches his chest, which gives Ravager an opening. The NAPW Champion presses the attack, catching an arm and pulling Casino into a front facelock. The Pure Champion starts struggling, trying to pull out, but Ravager just kicks out his legs and plants Casino with a DDT. The dazed Pure Honour Champion goes up and over, landing on his back, and sitting up in one fluid motion. He shakes his head and then Ravager unloads a second knife edge chop that drops Chris Casino right onto the ground. Ravager goes to catch a leg, and Casino rolls out of the ring! Kiebiech shouts for him to get back into the ring, and begins counting to twenty. Casino wipes the trickle of blood away from his nose, sniffs, touches the bridge gingerly, then glares back up at Ravager. The fans at ringside start chanting "Chicken shit! Chicken shit!" The Pure Honour Champion glares at them now, then circles around and slides into the ring at the eight count.

Ravager steps towards him, but Casino's head seems to be back in the game. He meets the NAPW Champion and the pair lock up, struggling against one other for a firm hold. Ravager hooks up, but Casino twists out, trying to catch his opponent by the waist, but Ravager reverses that into a headlock. Casino pulls free of that, and catches Ravager by the arm, twisting it into an armlock. Ravager winces, then turns, trying to release the pressure, or catch the Pure Honour Champion, but Casino releases the hold. Ravager staggers forward, turns, SUPERKICK! The Champion spits straight into the air, then topples into a corner. Chris Casino's eyes flash, and he practically leaps after his opponent. He grabs the top ropes and starts pushing his foot into Ravager's throat! The crowd jeers and boos, and both Sharplin and Kiebiech start warning Casino off. Sharplin starts counting to five while Kiebiech shouts down to Warburton.

FRANK WARBURTON: For unsportsmanlike behavoir, Chris Casino is being penalized his SECOND rope break.

Casino releases his choke at four-point-nine seconds, then pulls Ravager up into the corner. He unloads his own flurry of stiff knife edge chops, knocking clouds of sweat off of his opponent's chest. Ravager slumps again, and Casino presses the advantage. He hooks Ravager's arms, swings him around... into a sweet double-underhook implat DDT! And a cover! One! Only one. Ravager kicks out and Casino, not missing a beat, hits the ropes, and dropkicks... the mat! Ravager has rolled aside, spins, tries catching Chris Casino's leg, but Casino kicks free. Ravager staggers back, and Casino scrambles to his feet, and rushes the Champion. He goes for the STO, but Ravager sidesteps! Casino spins, discus punch style, trying to catch Ravager as he dodges, but the Champion blocks, and catches Casino's arm! Chris Casino shakes his head "No!" HEADBUTT! Casino's head snaps back, and his eyes cross. HEADBUTT! The Pure Honour Champion gets limp in Ravager's clutches. HEADBUTT! And the crowd goes wild! Holy HELL. Chris Casino's nose is bleeding again... it may be broken! Ravager's... busted himself open on Casino's skull! A faint trickle runs down his forehead! Ravager throws Casino's arm over his head... Northern Lights Suplex! He floats over... Northern Lights Suplex! And the bridge for the pin! One! Two! KICKOUT! The match was just about done, right there! Chris Casino rolls as far away from Ravager as he can, but the Champion is hot on his tail. He reaches down to grab Casino... SMALL PACKAGE! OH MY GOD!

ONE! TWO! KICKOUT!

Ravager looks a bit flustered, and Chris Casino has bought himself a little bit of time. The pair are up on their feet as fast they can, but Casino's just a little bit faster. He throws his legs out, catching Ravager with a dropkick that sends him, arms pinwheeling, backwards to the ropes. Casino kips up and rushes the opposite ropes, rebounds, and meets Ravager with an STO that plants the Champion mid-ring! Casino scrambles back to his feet, and literally RUNS up the nearest corner post! He's signalling... for his old finisher!? HOLY MOLEY! CASSSHHHHH OUTTTTTTTT!!!!!

RIGHT into Ravager's knees! Better luck next time, Chris.

Casino is howling in pain, clutching at his ribs, and Ravager catches his foot! Step over toe hold, facelock... GAROTTE! Locked in! Casino cries out in agony, and flails for the ropes, then pulls at his hair. Blood continues to trickle out of his nose as his face turns red. Ravager grits his teeth, eyes flashing, and the crowd rallies behind him, chanting "Tap! Tap! Tap!" Casino desperatly starts struggling towards the ropes. Ravager fights him for every square inch... but... fingers outstretched... sooooo.... clooooosee....

FRANK WARBURTON: Chris Casino has used his THIRD rope break.

The fans cheer as Ravager pries himself loose. He reaches down and pulls up Casino, then drives him towards the corner, and trips him face first into the bottom turnbuckle. Casino hangs there, dazed, and Ravager backs up, charges... and slides RIGHT into the empty ringpost! Casino, outside of the ring, rises back to his feet as Sharplin begins counting him out. He slides back in a three, runs to the ropes... springboard... dropkick! Ravager's head is squished between the Pure Honour Champ's feet and the ringpost! The Champion collapses backwards into the ring, and Casino grabs him by the arm and drags him to the middle of the ring. He eyes the corner... then thinks twice about it and gives the White Collar Assassin a standing legdrop across the throat. That could be it, for Ravager. Casino hooks the leg. One! Two! Kickout at two. Chris Casino angrily insists that it was, in fact, three, but Kiebiech is adamant, and the Pure Honour Champion growls, wipes his bloody nose on his arm, and then applies a cross arm breaker on his weakening opponent! Ravager cries out in pain, but this Edmonton crowd is still with him! They start clapping, trying to get him fired up! Some guy in the front row with a hawaiian shirt starts a "RA-VA-GER!" chant! The NAPW Champion starts stomping his foot along with the support, trying to get himself fired up, trying to escape. He reaches a foot over... and juuuust catches the bottom rope!

FRANK WARBURTON: Ravager has used his SECOND rope break.

Casino waits until the four-point-nine count to release his hold, and kicks Ravager in the spine as he rises. Ravager cringes, and tries to get to his feet. He staggers up and turns into a toe kick from Casino! Snap Suplex! Ravager bounces back to his feet, his knees like rubber, and Casino grabs him by the arms! Double underhook! It's Bankrupt time, baby! Casino turns Ravager over... and then Ravager's loose! He shoves Casino forward, into the ropes! Chris Casino bounces, staggers back into a full nelson... LAST! RE! SORT! THE CROWD IS ON IT'S FEET!

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

BILL HEWSON: I can't BELIEVE IT!

Neither can Ravager! He pins again. One! Two! Again, kickout! Ravager pulls Chris Casino to his feet, throws an arm over his head, and locks back up for the Norther Lights... no! Casino reverses it! European Uppercut! Ravager staggers, Casino, fighting with all he has left, hooks up the NAPW Champion, turn... BANKRUPT!

But can either man capitalize on it? Ravager is down, possibly out! Chris Casino, though... that last move took everything - everything he had left! Neither man is moving. John Sharplin starts counting. One. Two. Three. Four. Chris Casino begins to stir. Five. Six. Ravager, too, seems to be moving. Seven. Eight. Both men are slowly rising. Nine. And they're up! Casino throws a chop at Ravager. Ravager takes it in the chest, then chops Casino back. Casino returns the favour. Then Ravager. Casino! Ravager! Casino! Ravager! The chops continue back and forth, and now Ravager has the Pure Honour Champion up against the ropes! He whips Chris Casino hard into the corner, and follows up with a huge bum-rush body splash! Casino slumps, and Ravager hefts him up to the top rope... oh... Oh God! He's got the Pure Honour Champ up on the top, arm over his head! The crowd KNOWS what's coming, and have risen as one! Ravager hefts... and Casino punches him in the kidney! OOF! Ravager eases up on him long enough for Casino to slip out of the hold, and POKE Ravager in the eye! The crowd BOOS, but neither referee seems to have caught it! Ravager, clutching his smarting eye, snarls, and Chris Casino starts elbowing him in the head! Ravager teeters on the top rope. Dazed. Wobbling. Chris Casino takes him by the head, and with a final elbow, Ravager pitches head first...

And plummets square through the announce table.

"Ho-ly-shit! Ho-ly-shit!"

Casino looks down at the tangled mess of table and Ravager as Bill Hewson and Jack Jones scramble for cover. He smirks down at him, as Dick Kiebiech starts counting Ravager out. John Sharplin goes to leave the ring to check on Ravager's condition, but he doesn't get time.

FLYING ELBOW DROP!

Chris Casino CRASHES into Ravager with the force of a cannon ball, his elbow striking the NAPW Champion right in the heart! Ravager convulses in agony, and rolls aside, clutching his chest! Casino is, himself, writhing in agony, clutching at his lower back, and grimacing in pain!

"HO-LY-SHIT! HO-LY-SHIT!"

Sharplin is at ringside, checking on both men. Dick Kiebiech has restarted his count now that Chris Casino has left the ring. Chris Casino has shakily pulled himself to the ring apron, still holding his lower spine, his nose starting to bleed again. As Dick Kiebiech reaches seven, Casino has rolled slowly back into the ring, and just lays there, panting, bleeding... and smiling. In his mind, it's all academic at this point. Under pure honor rules, a count-out is as good as a pinfall...

Eight.

Nine.

Ten.

Eleven.

Ravager is being told by someone at ringside to "Shake it off, Champ!"

Twelve.

The Champion grabs the guardrail and, shakily, starts pulling himself up.

Thirteen.

Agony is clearly wracking his body. He can barely stand.

Fourteen.

He staggers, dropping to one knee.

Fifteen.

Sixteen.

Ravager, with a cry, THROWS himself to the ring apron.

Seventeen.

Eighteen.

NINETEEN.

AND ROLLS HIMSELF INTO THE RING.

The NAPW fans EXPLODE! Not literally, but - DAMN! Chris Casino, aware that no bell has rung, clambors to his feet, and his eyes BUG OUT as he sees his opponent, alive and kicking. Ravager, possibly with every ounce of energy he has left in his body, meets his gaze - and SURGES forward! Lou thez press!? No! Casino catches him, RELEASE BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! Ravager CRASHES into the ropes, and that's all she wrote! The NAPW Champion is down, and Chris Casino staggers over, and collapses on top of him!

ONE!

TWO!

THRKICKOUT!

Chris Casino is HOWLING! "NOOOOOOO!" He pounds on the mat, and then starts screaming at John Sharplin for "counting too slow!" He covers Ravager again, and demands that Kiebiech count! One! Two! Kickout! Casino is actually on his feet, storming around the ring and shouting at the two referees. Finally, he sets his eyes on Ravager, as the White Collar Assassin tries to rise. He starts calling for Ravager to get up. The NAPW Champion manages to get up to his feet, looking spent. He turns, slowly, just in time to meet a toe kick from Chris Casino! Casino locks up! He's calling for the Bankrupt again! The Pure Honour Champion turns Ravager around and... Ravager breaks free!? How!? How can Ravager still be fighting!? Casino doesn't have time to turn... Ravager is locking in some kind of submission hold! Katahajime! Casino gags and flails, catching the ropes... but Kiebiech waves it off! Chris Casino has no more rope breaks! The crowd is on it's feet again! "Tap! Tap! Tap!" Ravager is like a rabid, angry animal - possibly a badger relation! Casino's face it turning red, and he looks like he's starting to fade! He staggers towards the corner... gets a foot up on the first turnbuckle... then the second... he PUSHES with all his might... and sends himself crashing onto Ravager! But the NAPW Champion just scissors his legs and pulls TIGHTER! Chris Casino chokes, arms flailing!

But John Sharplin is down checking Ravager's shoulders... no... yes! It's a PIN!

ONE!

TWO!

THREECHRISCASINOTAPSOUT!

And Dick Kiebiech is calling for the bell!

BILL HEWSON: What... what happened there!?

JACK JONES: I'll tell you what happened, Bill Hewson! Chris Casino JUST BECAME THE NAPW CHAMPION!

BILL HEWSON: But... but Chris Casino tapped out! HE TAPPED OUT!

JACK JONES: No he didn't! He just got a three count pin on Ravager!

The crowd is murmering. Some are booing, some are cheering, some are chanting "Bull Shit! Bull Shit!" John Sharplin and Dick Kiebiech are exchanging hushed words. Sharplin is indicating the number three, but Kiebiech keeps patting his arm. What's up? What's going on? Ravager has released his hold and looks ashen faced, slumped in a corner. That hold took all he had left. If this match starts over... Chris Casino on the other hand is busy hacking in the opposite corner, spitting out blood and glaring daggers at Ravager. He's ready for round two, right now. He just needs a minute...

FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed by Head Official Dick Kiebiech that this match is... A DRAW.

JACK JONES: WHAT!?

The fans are none too happy about that. The cries of "BULL SHIT, BULL SHIT!" intensify. Frank presses on.

FRANK WARBURTON: As the stipuation for victory - a pinfall or submission - was met, this match WILL NOT be started over. And so, STILL NAPW PURE HONOUR CHAMPION... CHRIS CASSSSSSSSINOOOOOOO!

BOOOOOO!

FRANK WARBURTON: And STILL NAPW CHAMPION.... RAAAAVAGGGGGEEEEEERRRRRR!

CHEER!

Kiebiech and Sharplin hand each of the Champions their respective title belts. Chris Casino is angry. Spitting angry. He might have a broken nose, for crying out loud! He didn't wait so long for a title shot only to have it slip away! Ravager, too, looks unfulfilled. Nevertheless, he holds the NAPW Title high, wincing as he does so.

"EVEN MORE HUMAN THAN HUMAN."

The NAPW fans cheer as "The One Man Crime Spree" Rex Caliber, steps out from the curtains, holding a microphone in one hand, and his shiny REBEL Heavyweight Championship belt in the other. He looks at the crowd and grins.

REX CALIBER: Whoa, whoa, WHOA! You know what, that does smell like the inside of a barn, doesn't it!

His music cuts and the crowd, led by Rex Caliber, now, starts chanting "Bull Shit!" again.

REX CALIBER: Bull shit, is damn right! I thought I promised you people a GUARANTEED WIN tonight! Didn't I?

The NAPW fans cheer!

REX CALIBER: Well, I'm sorry it didn't go down that way. Seems Mr. Casino has once again found a loophole, and Dick Kiebiech called it fair. And GOD DAMN, but that was a HELL OF A MATCH! LET'S HEAR IT FOR THEM, FOLKS!

The Edmonton fans have always been the loudest, always been the most appreciative of their hometown promotion. And they LET THE TWO CHAMPS HAVE IT! Casino does his best to look like he's not touched.

REX CALIBER: Well, I'll tell you what! I loved that match so damn much, I think I want to see it again. NEXT WEEK!

Cheer! Now Chris Casino is angry. Ravager, on the other hand, is cracking his knuckles.

REX CALIBER: And both of those Championships will STILL BE ON THE LINE!

Huge cheer!

REX CALIBER: And next week... there will be NO DRAWS! NO DISQUALIFICATIONS! NO COUNT OUTS! I DAMN WELL GUARENTEE that one of those belts WILL CHANGE HANDS! And we WILL have an UNDISPUTED CHAMPION ! RAVAGER! CHRIS CASINO! TWO!

And with that, Rex Caliber drops the microphone and starts gladhanding the cheering fans! In the ring, Ravager and Chris Casino have met face to face again. Casino hefts his Pure Honour Title belt over his shoulder. Ravager just holds his up right in Casino's face. The crowd loves it!

BILL HEWSON: What an unexpected turn of events! What an end to an amazing night! And WHAT a match we've got for NEXT WEEK! Ravager will face Chris Casino a second time!

JACK JONES: I'm not sure I agree with Kiebiech's call, Bill Hewson! Ravager LOST this match tonight, and Rex Caliber is just trying to screw Chris Casino... but I'll admit this. If it means we get to see these two men fighting again next week, I'm willing to let it slide!

Ravager and Chris Casino both bore into each other with their eyes. Kiebiech and Sharplin both do their best to hold the two at bay... hell, it looks like they want to get right back into it. The crowd is hot. These two men have only JUST STARTED... and by gum, that's the end of the show!

THE LAST RESORT

04/17/2007