It is an overcast but hot evening in Calgary, Alberta, Canada - a city famous for two things: The Calgary Stampede and the Hart Family Dungeon! The Dungeon is gone, with Lance Storm's Wrestling Academy the only real game in town now, but wrestling fans will never forget the legacy of Stu Hart and so many wrestlers he trained.
But right now, tonight, in Olympic Plaza, hundreds of wrestling fans have gathered outdoors, in spite of the threatening rain (please don't rain please don't rain please don't rain), for the hottest wrestling in Alberta in years
BILL HEWSON: New Alberta Pro Wrestling is here! Outdoors! And if it's anything like last year... well, we'll never be able to run an outdoor show again!
JACK JONES: We can't in Edmonton at any rate.
BILL HEWSON: I'm Bill Hewson alongside Jack "Attack" Jones, and this is Get The Hell Off Our Lawn... II. We are in downtown Calgary at Olympic Plaza, and it looks like the clouds are starting to break and the sun is coming through. These fans have been gathering for hours, and I think it's time we give them what they came for!
JACK JONES: It's Calgary, so... yee-haws and livestock?
BILL HEWSON: Pro wrestling!
FRANK WARBURTON: This opening match if the evening is scheduled for one fall...
"Stone Cold Crazy" By Queen starts to play and the red hot crowd pops for the man who is about to make his appearance.
FRANK WARBURTON: Coming to the ring first, he hails from Staten Island, New York and weighs in at two-hundred and thirty-five pounds, he is....Simply Beautiful!
There he is! Simply Beautiful is heading towards the ring and the fans are all reaching out to touch their hero.
Queen is replaced by "SCREAM" by GLAYxEXILE and the cheers quickly turn to boos.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent, he hails from St. Petersburg, Florida and weighs in at one-hundred and ninety-eight pounds...Vincent Yun Chang!
The always odd Vincent Yun Chang heads for the ring and fans clear a path for him. Possibly afraid they might catch something from him.
BILL HEWSON: This should be a great match! Vincent Yun Chang is one of NAPWs newest and brightest stars!
JACK JONES: Meanwhile Simply Beautiful has been losing every match he's been involved in.
BILL HEWSON: Well, that's not true. Simply Beautiful scored the win over Jason Cruise last week, and in June he pinned Jeff Garvin.
JACK JONES: Yeah, but he LOST to Jeff Garvin at Supershow II! I mean, that's hardly a win streak!
BILL HEWSON: ... yes, a 2-1 record over the past three matches is terrible. Yun Chang will certainly be looking for his first win tonight though, SB's going to have to bring his A-Game against this unorthodox competitor.
Both men are now in the ring sizing each other up and the referee calls for the bell! Lock up in the center of the ring. Side headlock takedown by Simply Beautiful. Changs shoulders are on the mat, one! Two! Shoulder up! Chang fights up to his feet, SB still in control with his side headlock. Forearm shot to the ribs by Chang. Another forearm shot from VYC, but still Simply Beautiful holds on. Chang backs SB into the ropes and shoots him off. Shoulder block by Chang puts SB down onto the mat. Chang hits the ropes just as Simply Beautiful springs to his feet and snaps him over with another side headlock takedown! Chang slaps the mat in frustration and manages to wiggle his way close enough to place his foot on the bottom rope causing a break. Simply Beautiful gets to his feet and backs away as Chang slowly gets back to a vertical base. Again they lock up with a collar and elbow. European uppercut from Chang causes a break! A vicious chop across the chest from SB in return! Another snug uppercut from Chang! Another blazing chop from SB! Chang goes for a third uppercut but SB hooks the arm, turns him around and drops down into a backslide pin attempt! One! Two! Chang kicks out! Vincent is back to his feet and is quickly taken back down with another side headlock takedown!
BILL HEWSON: Simply Beautiful showing off those in ring skills that he's known for.
JACK JONES: Yeah but he's no Chris Casino.
Again Chang makes it to the ropes and the hold is broken. Chang rolls to the outside as the referee lays in his count. Simply Beautiful rolls to the outside as well and creeps up behind Chang. Chang is spun around and takes a chop across the chest that has the crowd unleashing a "Wooooooooooo!" of respect! Another chop has Vincent holding his chest. SB rolls Chang into the ring and then climbs up onto the ring apron. Chang is up to his feet and takes a springboard forearm straight to the face! One! Two! Chang kicks out! SB pulls Chang to his feet and hooks him for a suplex. Block from Chang! SB tries again and once more Chang is able to block it. Before Simply Beautiful can try for a third time it's Chang who gets SB up! Chang hits a slingshot suplex onto SB and floats over into a pin attempt. One! Kick out by SB! Simply Beautiful is pulled to his feet by Chang who locks in an armbar. Chang switches into a reverse hammerlock and then follows that up with a hammerlock body slam that has SB clutching his arm. Chang measures SB as he gets up and goes in for the kill by taking Simply Beautiful to the mat with a single arm DDT.
BILL HEWSON: Chang trying to take the arm out from Simply Beautiful. Smart strategy actually.
JACK JONES: Holy hell!
BILL HEWSON: What?
JACK JONES: Did you see the size of that damn mosquito? It was the size of a sparrow.
Back in the ring Vincent has SB trapped on the mat with an armbar and is applying the pressure on the shoulder joint. Chang releases the hold and drives a knee into the shoulder of SB and then again locks in an armbar. The fans are starting to clap and stomp their feet for Simply Beautiful and he's responding. SB is able to get a hand on the bottom rope and Chang waits until the count of four to break the hold. Simply Beautiful rolls out of the ring and shakes his arm, trying to get some feeling back. Chang slips out of the ring as well and pops SB with a short forearm shot to the head. Meantime Suplex by Chang! SB is clutching at his shoulder as Chang hovers over him. Simply Beautiful is pulled to his feet and rolled into the ring, Chang climbing in after him. In the ring, Chang hooks Simply Beautiful in a double arm chicken wing submission! SB shakes his head 'no" when the referee asks if he wants to give it up. After a long minute Chang decides that SB isn't going to toss in the towel and releases the hold only so that he can execute a double underhook suplex. A cover, one! Two! Simply Beautiful kicks out!
BILL HEWSON: If Chang keeps working on that arm of SB, this match will be as good as over.
JACK JONES: Bah, I'd be more surprised if Simply Beautiful actually won!
Simply Beautiful has pulled himself up and takes another forearm shot to the head. Chang gets chopped across the chest! Forearm! Chop! Forearm! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chang is being backed up by a flurry of hard hitting chops from Simply Beautiful! Thumb to the eye from Chang stops SB cold! Chang hits the ropes but gets met with a dropkick from SB! Chang scrambles to his feet only to get hit with a Spin Doctor! Without missing a beat SB heads to the nearest turnbuckle. Best. Moonsault. Ever! A cover, one! Two! Chang kicks out! Simply Beautiful pulls Chang to his feet. Impact DDT from SB! Simply Beautiful points to the corner and the fans erupt! Simply Beautiful scales to the top, smiles and takes flight! New York Nightmare! Beautiful hooks a near leg and the referee counts! One! Two! Three!
FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of this match....Simply Beautiful!!!
JACK JONES: Holy Crap he won!
BILL HEWSON: Simply Beautiful fought back against a determined Vincent Yun Chang and scores the win! 3-1 for SB now in four matches, Jack, eh?
JACK JONES: Can we get some bug spray out here?
JACK JONES: And that's when I realized that everything I believed in and loved was a lie.
BILL HEWSON: You seriously didn't know Dame Edna was a man?
JACK JONES: For the last time, NO!
Yikes. Awkward. Especially considering how small a portion of the readers will get the reference. Too late now, we got "My Generation" playing, and Olympic Plaza is on their feet, though they're not 100% on the side of the challengers.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is for the NAPW Tag Team Titles, and it will be contested under SUPERSTAR RULES! Making their way to the ring are the challengers. Accompanied by Mandy, they weigh in at five hundred and forty five pounds. They are Matt and Chad Kurtis: THE BLUEGRASS MAFIA!!!
A mixed reaction to be sure. A little better reaction for Faith No More, and one half of the Tag Champs.
FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents! First, from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, weighing in at two hundred and eighty nine pounds, he is "The Murder City Devil" JAKE PHOENIX!
The big man makes his way to the ring, ready to defend the tag titles once again. But all he's missing is his partner...
WE FALL, WE FALL!
And a huge pop as the SUPERSTAR emerges from the curtains.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his partner, from St. Paul, Minnesota, weighing in at two hundred and fifty four pounds: SUPERSTAR TOMMY DEATHROW!
Deathrow and Phoenix slide into the ring, ready to fight...
"WHEN IT'S TIME TO PARTY WE WILL PARTY HARD!"
JACK JONES: What the hell?
And the fans pop again, as Mystic Ninja and the Expositioner make their way to ringside. Expositioner takes the mic from Warburton:
EXPOSITIONER: Last week you beat us at your game. We salute you, but one day it shall be our game!
Mystic Ninja takes the mic.
MYSTIC NINJA: You see, last week? It won't be our last shot at the NAPW tag titles. And when we get our next chance, we'll make sure we leave with the belts.
A good pop for that, and Ninja and Expositioner walk towards...
JACK JONES: (chanting to himself) Please don't come over here, please don't come over here...
BILL HEWSON: We're being joined by the Mystic Exposition! Glad to have you guys here.
EXPOSITIONER: It doesn't look like the teams in the ring are happy about it. And who can blame them, considering the amount of times guest commentators have interfered in matches.
BILL HEWSON: Is that why you guys are here?
MYSTIC NINJA: ... Match is starting Bill.
Indeed, referee Dick Kiebiech rings the bell, and the match is underway!
Jake Phoenix garbs Chad Kurtis and lays in with a forearm. Matt tries to help, but gets a knee to the gut from Deathrow. Deathrow goes for a swinging neck breaker, but the bigger Kurtis picks him up and drops him on his back. Chad Kurtis tries to hit a suplex on Phoenix, but can't get the big man in the air. Phoenix shoves Chad into the ropes, then clotheslines him to the floor. Deathrow rolls out of the ring and goes after Chad, while Matt and Jake stare down.
EXPOSITIONER: A swap of opponents, a more even match, and the fans are on their feet because two of the biggest men in the NAPW are about to go at it!
JACK JONES: You know, "color" is my job...
Slap.
Matt Kurtis shows no respect for the champion.
Slap.
Jake Phoenix has the same disdain for the challenger.
Chop.
Matt Kurtis refuses to show intimidation.
Chop.
Same from Jake Phoenix. Both men glare at each other. And they realize neither will back down.
So why hold back?
Matt and Jake trade a thunderous series of punches, brining the fans to their feet! Matt goes for a right, Phoenix ducks, grabs the arm of Kurtis, and hits a short arm clothesline! Kurtis goes down, but is back up in a flash! He rakes the eyes of Phoenix, whips him to the corner, and races in with a Yakuza Kick! Phoenix's head snaps back, and he hits the mat. Matt turns to check on his brother, not realizing that Phoenix is back to his feet. A bit shaken, but not out. He spins Matt around, boots him in the gut, and whips him into the turnbuckles, and lays in with repeated punches!
Meanwhile on the floor, Chad is trying to hold his own with the maniacal Deathrow. Trading punches was a mistake, as Chad was knocked into the guard rail. Deathrow follows up with a clothesline... NO! Deathrow is back body dropped into the crowd! And now Chad Kurtis goes to the ring apron... and now to the top rope!
MYSTIC NINJA: Superstar rules may not be so effective against two guys who've been making time in REBEL, recently.
EXPOSITIONER: Every match in REBEL is Superstar rules!
JACK JONES: I think Ninja already implied...
BILL HEWSON: Just watch the match Jack. You get paid whether you talk or not.
Chad sizes up Deathrow as the fans get the hell out of the way. Deathrow gets to his feet and turns around just in time as Chad Kurtis nails a flying clothesline! Both men are down! A HOLY SHIT chant has started! But there's no pin falls on the outside, so it looks like Matt and Jake will have to decide things for now. Matt has been busted open by the punches of Jake Phoenix. Phoenix goes for a choke slam! Matt slams his elbow into the side of Phoenix's head! Phoenix stumbles back, but only for a second as he surges towards a
SPINE BUSTER! Matt Kurtis out of nowhere lays out one half of the tag champs! And he goes for a cover! One... Two... Only a two as Phoenix gets a shoulder up! Matt wipes some blood from his eyes, and stands back as Phoenix gets to his feet. As soon as Jake is vertical, Matt races forward and nails a Clothesline from Hell! Jake Phoenix hits the mat with a thud, Kurtis covers again! One... Two...
TOMMY DEATHROW MAKES THE SAVE!
BILL HEWSON: Where did he come from?
EXPOSITIONER: Well, enough time had elapsed for Deathrow to recover...
BILL HEWSON: All that matters is the tag titles have been saved, momentarily!
Deathrow boots the head of Matt Kurtis, then slaps his legs around the big man's head and goes for TOTAL NON-STOP TOMMY! The fans count along as Matt's head is smacked into the mat! But they only get to four before..
CLANG!
Chad Kurtis embraces the Superstar rules, and smacks Deathrow with the ring bell. He goes for another shot, but Expositioner has left the announce table and has grabbed the bell away from Kurtis.
MYSTIC NINJA: We can't let either team win that easy. If you'll excuse me...
And now Ninja is up, and he's searching under the ring, coming back with a garbage can, which he uses to hold a kendo stick, a chair, the ring bell Expositioner grabbed from Kurtis, and anything else that may inflict damage. And now the Mystic Exposition is off, leaving the teams behind. Chad Kurtis looks a bit confused. Jake Phoenix is up, and he simply shrugs, as he hits a big boot to the back of Chad's head, then lifts him up and Choke slams him down! A cover! One... Two...
JACK JONES: HOW DID CHAD KURTIS KICK OUT OF THAT?!?
No matter, Jake Phoenix is not letting up. He positions Chad for a power bomb, Chad slumps to one knee. Phoenix tries to yank him back into position, but fails to notice a rising Matt Kurtis, who lays a forearm to the back of Phoenix's head, then positions him for a back breaker. Chad to the second rope, Matt nails the back breaker, and Chad follows up with a leg drop, and he covers...
Just as the ring is bathed in the foam from a fire extinguisher.
You take one weapon from Deathrow, he'll find another. As the Kurtis brothers are temporarily blinded, Deathrow slides back into the ring, and it looks like he's...
BILL HEWSON: Deathrow took a belt from a fan, and would you look at the size of the buckle on it!
JACK JONES: Damn Stampede country...
SMACK! Deathrow brings the buckle down on Chad Kurtis' forehead! SMACK! A shot for Matt as well! Deathrow hits the ropes and comes back with a shot for Chad, which knocks him to the mat. Matt rises to his feet, ready to pounce on Deathrow...
Clang! A chair sails into the ring, hitting Matt. Jake Phoenix is in the crowd, and the friendly Calgary fans are more than happy to give up their seats to the tag champions. Clang! Another chair hits Matt! Phoenix is tossing every chair that's handed to him! Matt is staggered, and Deathrow sneaks over and rolls the big man up! One! ... Two... Matt kicks out! Jake Phoenix is back in the ring, and he's brought the timekeeper's table! He rams it into Matt's face, then sets it up in the middle of the ring. he grabs Chad Kurtis...
BILL HEWSON: He's going to Tombstone Pile drive Chad Kurtis on the table!
Chad is set up, but Matt races over to clip the knee of Jake. Deathrow tosses a fans beer into the face of Matt, then boots the big man in the gut, and he sets up for the DEATHROW DRIVER! ... NO! Matt Kurtis back body drops Deathrow through the table! Chad crawls over to make the cover!
One!
Two!
Phoenix makes the save! Matt spins Phoenix around and tries to slap on a bear hug, but a knee to the groin ends all that. Deathrow is slow to his feet, Chad looks to capitalize... not noticing where Deathrow's hand is! SWEATY BALL CLAW! Chad flails trying to break the hold, but Deathrow has a firm grip! (EWWW!) Chad goes through the ropes, Deathrow still holding on, Chad hits the floor, dragging Deathrow out with him! The hold is broken as Deathrow tumbles on top of Chad. Meanwhile Jake Phoenix grabs a broken piece of table and tries to drive it into the throat of Matt Kurtis! Kurtis blocks it, head butts Phoenix, then whips him into the ropes, Phoenix rebounds back into a Spinning side slam! Matt with the cover!
One!
Two!
Phoenix kicks out! Matt is furious now, and sets Phoenix up for the Bluegrass Bomb! He manages to heft Phoenix up... Deathrow is back in the ring, and slams part of the broken table into Matt's gut! He drops Phoenix, who manages to land on his feet, and now Phoenix sets up for the TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! HE NAILS IT! Chad Kurtis races in to break up the pin attempt, but is caught before he can make it through the ropes! Deathrow slaps on the DEATHROW DRIVER! Kiebiech makes the count!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THREE!!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners, and STILL NAPW tag team champions: Jake Phoenix and Tommy Deathrow!
BILL HEWSON: The Kurtis brothers put up a Hell of a fight, but is there anyone that can beat Tommy Deathrow when Superstar rules are involved?
JACK JONES: Well maybe they need to defend WITHOUT Superstar rules...
Deathrow grins at the crowd. his lips are bloody, but he is victorious. Jake Phoenix makes sure to grab his tag title as he makes his way back to the locker room. The Kurtis Brothers are both trying to get to their feet, but after the fight they just had, it's not easy. But they're not done yet.
The tag scene is getting more interesting by the day...
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first! Hailing from Napier, New Zealand, and weighing in tonight at one hundred and eighty pounds... LINK! VAAAAAN HAGGAAAAAARRRRRDDDD!
"Man In The Box (Instrumental)" - Harry Slash and The Slashtones cues up, and seconds later, Link Van Haggard enters to a good-sized pop from the crowd, dressed in a crimson leather trenchcoat. He shakes hands with the fans as he makes his way down the aisle. He climbs into the ring, and goes to his respective corner to wait for Ca$h.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent, weighing in tonight a two hundred and thirty-five pounds... wrestling out of Seattle, Washington... He is a former NAPW Provincial Champion.... He is... CAAAAAA$$$$$HHHHHHH!
Ozzy's "The Almighty Dollar" takes control of the P.A., but is quickly drowned out by the boos from the crowd. Ca$h walks through the curtain and glances to his shoulder where the Pronvicial Title should rest, with a sour look on his face.
BILL HEWSON: It was just last week that Ca$h dropped the Provincial Championship to "Dynamite" Stone Zellor. You've gotta think he's bitter over that. Championship money and championship respect are two things everyone that gets into this sport aspires to one day achieve. But Ca$h's reign being as short-lived as it was probably makes him want it back all that much more.
JACK JONES: Ca$h grew up wealthy, Hewson! He has money to burn! He wants that belt back because it was a TRAVESTY that he lost it as quick as he did. AND TO STONE ZELLOR NO LESS! That'd leave a bad taste in anyone's mouth!
Ca$h has since rolled underneath the bottom rope, and gone to his corner.
The bell sounds, and Link Van Haggard and Ca$h begin to circle. Cash's base is lower than his opponent's, indicating that he might try to execute a back-switch as they meet to lock-up -- and that's exactly what he does. Haggard struggles to unclasp Ca$h's hands, without much luck. Ca$h lifts Haggard, turning him horizontally, and dropping him flat onto his stomach.
BILL HEWSON: Ca$h with a front face lock. Haggard's fast, but Ca$h has a significant size advantage, standing six-foot, five, and outweighing Haggard by about fifty pounds. Ca$h *is* quick, though. Haggard, now, working back to his feet...
Haggard hits Ca$h with a few well-placed right hands to the mid-section. Ca$h releases his grip, and LVH hit the ropes on the opposite side of the ring -- a shoulder block fells Ca$h, and LVH once again rebounds off the ropes, this time passing over Ca$h en route to rebounding off the ropes on the other side of the ring. Ca$h scrambles to his feet -- leapfrog! LVH puts on the brakes, turns around, and eats a slap across the face!
JACK JONES: (Laughing) Yes! Slap the taste of his mouth, Ca$h! That's my boy!
BILL HEWSON: (Sighing) Well, in any event, Ca$h has a hold of Haggard's wrist. He backs him up into the ropes and shoots him off... Ca$h with a running back elbow to the point of jaw!
LVH involuntarily rolls to the outside. Ca$h, off the ropes, drives LVH back into the guardrail with a baseball slide. The clatter of the guardrail being jarred out of position sends the fans jumping back, as LVH collapses in front of them on the other side of the barricade. Ca$h grabs LVH by the head and drags him to his feet. He bounces LVH's face off the edge of the guardrail, and then back into the ring he's thrown... Ca$h up on the apron.
BILL HEWSON: Ca$h with a MISSILE DROPKICK that sends LVH bouncing across the canvas! And he wastes no time capitalizing with a lateral press!
ONE!
TWO!
BILL HEWSON: And Link kicks out at two and a half!
JACK JONES: If only Ca$h had hooked the leg he would've got the three!
BILL HEWSON: I don't know about that. Link Van Haggard is one tough individual; he won't be put away that easily!
Ca$h pulls Haggard to his feet. A forearm smash lands across the jawline of Haggard. Ca$h backs Haggard up into the ropes, and drapes his arms over the top rope.
CHOP! *SMACK!*
CHOP! *SMACK!*
CHOP! *SMACK!*
BILL HEWSON: Ca$h sends LVH across the ring -- NO! -- LVH reverses the Irish whip! Ca$h into the ropes! He runs into a kick to the mid-section! Doubled over! SWINGING NECKBREAKER! A COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
THR--
BILL HEWSON: KICKOUT BY CA$H!
JACK JONES: Gotta give it to Ca$h! Kickin' outta that Swinging Neckbreaker! And look what he's doing now! *Allowing* Haggard to drag him to his feet -- ya just *KNOW* he's playing possum!
BILL HEWSON: Well, in any event, Ca$h gets sent into the corner. LVH charges in -- Double Knees to the chest of Ca$h! Cas$h staggers out of the corner. LVH steps into position behind him to execute a Back Suplex, but Ca$h flips out of the attempt and lands behind him!
LVH turns, blocks a right hand, delivers a knee to the gut to double over his opponent, and leaps over the top rope, before quickly springboarding back inside to deliver a KENTA-like Flying Knee to the side of Ca$h's head!
JACK JONES: See, Bill, this just proves what an idiot Van Haggard is! He doesn't go over the cover!
BILL HEWSON: Haggard, now, setting Ca$h up for a what appears to be a suplex. He hoists Ca$h up, but Ca$h with a downward-striking knee to the top of Haggard's head! What a counter!
Ca$h's feet drop safely to the mat below. He chops LVH, causing him to stagger back. Ca$h rushes forward, looking for a lariat -- but LVH ducks to avoid it, hooks Ca$h's mid-section with his left arm for a back-switch, and tries to use leverage to German Suplex the bigger man over onto his shoulders. Ca$h, however, strikes LVH with a back elbow to the side of the head, dizzying him enough to reverse positions. Ca$h with a German Suplex! But he doesn't go for the pin; instead, he opts to drag LVH back to his feet with the waistlock still applied!
GERMAN SUPLEX NUMBER TWO!
BILL HEWSON: All of the air was driven out of Van Haggard's body with that move, and Ca$h isn't finished just yet!
JACK JONES: Of course not! My main man Ca$h knows a thing 'er two about puttin' nobodies like Link Van Haggard away! Suuure, one German Suplex probably would've been enough! Maybe two on LVH's best day! But three -- well, damn -- that just cements the win ANNND puts a hurtin' on a man that has no business in the ring with the former Provincial Champ!
But German Suplex number three isn't as easily achieved. LVH struggles to free himself of the waistlock, bending Ca$h's fingers back in ways they're not meant to be bent, before STOMPING on Ca$h's foot! The crowd erupts! LVH darts into the ropes -- Ca$h charges forward to meet him! LVH ducks! Another back-switch! BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX!
ONE!
TWO!
THR--NO, SIR!
JACK JONES: Just listen to these idiot fans! How dare they boo! Ca$h just showed us what a tremendous athlete he is by kicking out of that German Suplex, and they BOO?
BILL HEWSON: It's their right, Jack, they can boo whoever they want!
Van Haggard, still seated on the canvas, points to the turnbuckle post closest to him. He wastes no time stepping out onto the apron and ascending it. Perched atop it, he takes a moment to measure Ca$h, and then --
BILL HEWSON: OH MY GOD!
JACK JONES: YESSSSSSS! Ca$h scrambles to his feet and runs up the turnbuckles! YOU CAN'T KEEP HIM DOWWWWN! HAHAHAHA!
BILL HEWSON: They're both standing on the turnbuckle post; Ca$h with his back to the ring, trying to get a bodylock on LVH in order to -- I'm guessing -- execute a Super Belly-to-Belly Suplex. LVH, though, resisting it well! CA$H HAS THE BODYLOCK! NO! LVH BELLCLAPS CA$H'S HEAD, AND JUST LISTEN TO THESE FANS!
JACK JONES: NO! NOOO!
W!
T!
F!
SITOUT SPINEBUSTER SLAM FROM THE TOP ROPE!
ONE!
TWO!
THRE--SHOULDER!
BILL HEWSON: At the LAST POSSIBLE SECOND Ca$h's shoulder rockets up off the canvas, and these fans are none to happy about that! Ca$h's feeling the effects of the WTF, though, that's for sure!
LVH holds his tailbone, as he gets to his feet, grabbing Ca$h's head to bring him to a vertical base. Once again he sets him up for a Suplex. Thunderchild Driver, anyone?
But wait --
BILL HEWSON: Now what is this! What - is - this! KEVIN KODIAK at ringside! He's up on the apron, and he's got Link's attention! The referee's demanding that Kodiak return to the lockerroom area... AND CA$H WITH HIS WITS ABOUT HIM CHARGES IN... VAN HAGGARD MOVES! CA$H AND KEVIN KODIAK COLLIDE! KODIAK TO THE FLOOR!
JACK JONES: (Burying his face in his hands) I can't watch...
LVH grabs a hold of Ca$h, placing him in a front face lock -- he hoists him up and DRIVES him to the canvas with a Suplex Powerslam!
BILL HEWSON: Van Haggard with the Thunderchild Driver! And he goes up top!
The BULLET THE BLUE SKY recieves a massive pop as LVH comes down with all of his bodyweight on top of Ca$h!
BILL HEWSON: And Van Haggard follows up the Corkscrew Senton with a cover!
ONNNNE!
TWWWWO!
THREEEEEE!
FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of the match... LINK! VAAAN HAAAAGGGAAARRRRRDDDD!
Warburton's announcement of the winner being LVH is met with cheers from the crowd. LVH's up... He spies Kodiak on the floor. He runs AND TOPES ONTO KEVIN KODIAK~!
BILL HEWSON: Kevin Kodiak and LVH are wrestling around on the floor! They're both up now, exchanging rights and lefts! This is madness! And here comes security down to the ring to pull these two apart! NO! VAN HAGGARD GETS FREE AND HE DECKS KODIAK IN THE FACE! KEVIN'S WOBBLY, BUT HE SPEAAAAAAARS LVH *THROUGH* THE SECURITY OFFICERS HOLDING HIM BACK AND *INTO* THE GUARDRAIL!
More security files out from the back, finally able to restrain LVH and Kodiak, taking Kodiak to the back first. Security releases their grip on Van Haggard, allowing him to raise his arms to the crowd in victory.
JACK JONES: And eventually my right arm got the feeling back. I can't say the same for the Python though.
BILL HEWSON:... (shakes his head) The following match is a rematch of one of the best matches to ever air on ACTION! It was the November twenty fourth broadcast when this match took place. Jeff James was the Television champion, Billy Kryenik was freshly inducted in to the NAPW Ring of Prestige the month before. Jeff James' title was not on the line, and Billy Kryenik won that match.
JACK JONES: Now the tides are turned a bit. James is the one smitten with the fans, and Billy is getting treated like Michael Vick at Petsmart.
BILL HEWSON: You didn't just go there. Oh hell, of course you did.
"Beneath Below" begins to play on the loud speakers filling the ears of the many fans. Boos shower the 2007 Canada Cup winner. Billy Kryenik views signs which aren't too nice. He enters the ring with a weird smile.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first. He is a former NAPW Tag Team Champion. He is a member of NAPW Ring of Prestige, and is the current Canada Cup champion. He weighed in at two hundred and forty two pounds. He is wrestling out of Windsor, Ontario. He is BILLY! KRYENIK!
The boos stop as All That Remains begins to play the song "Six". Jeff James comes out, and is noticably limping. He enters the ring to a chorus of cheers, and a JEFF chant.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent. He is a former NAPW Television, and Provincial Champion. He weight in at two hundred and four pounds. He is wrestling out of Chicago, Illinois. JEFF JAMES!
The bell sounds at the command of Morgan Smythe. Jeff James has the injured leg heavily bandaged. Billy Kryenik smiles with demonic thoughts. The bandages are basically a bullseye. They lock up, and Billy uses his nearly forty pound weight advantage to push Jeff James into the ropes. Billy Irish whips Jeff James into the ropes, and off the rebound, Bill connects a low driving dropkick to the knee. Jeff James is down like he got shot. Billy smiles even brighter.
BILL HEWSON: The veteran skills of Billy are showing through. He sees a weak link, and is going to massacre it.
JACK JONES: Jeff James should have stayed at home.
Billy stomps the leg. He then drives his knee into it, staying in that position, and pulling up on the boot of Jeff James. Jeff tries to get away, and has to resort to some closed fist shots to the ribs of Billy Kryenik. Billy lets go of the move then quickly leg drops Jeff James leg. Billy stands up, and mocks James. James attempts to stand. Billy smiles and stalks Jeff James. Billy dives for the leg, Sabu style and GETS THE OTHER KNEE IN HIS GRILL! Billy Kryenik holds his mouth.
BILL HEWSON: That might can turn things around for the hurt Jeff James.
JACK JONES: Come on Billy!
BILL HEWSON: I see your staying unbiased.
Jeff James takes advantage and Enziguri to the back of Billy's head. Jeff James covers... ONE! TWO... Kickout by SBK! Jeff James allows Kryenik to rise, and goes for the first part of Crash Landing. He knocks Billy down, only to have to grab his own leg. Kryenik doesn't stay down for long, crawling over to James and begins a vicious assault of punches and elbows to the knee. The crowd is booing loudly. Kryenik doesn't even acknowledge the crowd and slaps on the BRANCH BREAKER! He usually applies more pressure to the spine than the knees, but not in this case. He has Jeff James screaming, and being outside, those screams can be heard all over Alberta. He is trying to get to the ropes, but it's slow... so sloooww. The "Please Don't Tap" chants start up.
JACK JONES: Get your notes ready for the next match Bill, this one is over.
BILL HEWSON: It's not over yet... he is almost in the ropes.
Jeff James is inching toward those ropes. The ropes that will end the pressure, ease the pain... only a fingertips tough away. He almost has them when... Billy stops the move. He gets up stomps the leg viciously, one.. two... three hard times. He pulls James to the middle of the ring and applies his version of the STF once more. James is once again cheered on by the many fans in Calgary. He is pulling his weight, along with the two hundred forty plus pounds of Billy with him. He inches closer. He is a mere six inches away from the ropes. His hand balls up, and then flattens out. He raises it just a bit...
BILL HEWSON: HE GETS THE ROPES! THE FANS GO CRAZY!
JACK JONES: I can't believe he didn't tap. This kid must love pain.
With James in the ropes, Billy has to let go. Billy looks very frustrated. He smacks James in the head. He picks Jeff up by his hair, and Billy gets an elbow to the solar plexus. He gets another. Jeff James looks for anything and SIDE EFFECT! He is slow to get the cover. Finally Jeff with an arm across the chest of Billy. ONE! TWO!! THREE INCHES AWAY, BUT BILLY GETS A SHOULDER UP. Billy is dazed. He rolls over and tries to get to his feet. Jeff James hobbles to his feet. Billy charges at Jeff and Jeff counters with a JUMPING SUPERKICK THAT MISSES. Billy Kryenik avoided the move. Jeff James crashes to the mat, and Billy drops a knee to the severely injured leg of Jeff James. Kryenik takes the leg and beats on it ruthlessly with fists and elbows. Jeff James is going crazy trying to get away and up kicks Billy in the face. A tooth flies out of the mouth of Billy Kryenik.
JACK JONES: A tooth no doubtedly loosened by that knee earlier.
BILL HEWSON: Billy is trying to find it.
James rolls under the ropes and gets on the ring apron. Kryenik is ordering Morgan Smythe to find his tooth, hoping to get it fixed later. Billy turns around and Jeff James slingshots himself with the ropes, and FLYING LARIAT! Jeff James with the cover ONE! TWO!! KICK OUT BY BILLY! A fan has the tooth and puts it in his pocket. Jeff James lays into the bleeding mouth of Kryenik with several elbows. James stands, basically a one legged in an ass kicking contest. He goes to the top rope. Billy gets up quickly, and knocks James off balance. Jeff Jame crotches the top turnbuckle. Billy Kryenik climbs the top rope. He is trying to get James into a superplex, but James pushes Kryenik off. James sees Billy prone and SHOOTING STAR LEG DROP! AND BILLY KRYENIK... MOVES! Jeff James holds his tail bone.
JACK JONES: That was James' only chance. He blew it big time.
BILL HEWSON: Do you not respect this kid?
JACK JONES: I respect the fact that he is a one legged man in a fight, but that just reminds me of how stupid he is too.
The crowd gasps. Billy Kryenik moved just in time. Billy stands up and picks up Jeff James. He throws Jeff James half way cross the ring with a Kurt Angle style Belly to Belly overhead suplex. Kryenik goes for the pin. ONE! TWO!! FOOT ON THE ROPE! Billy looks at the leg and begins smashing it with numerous fists of fury, and forearms. Jeff James is in unbelievable amount of pain. Morgan Smythe calls Billy off, and starts to have a conversation with Jeff James. She is asking him if he can continue. He says "(BLEEP) Yeah!" And Billy Kryenik jumps in the air and stomps the leg.
JACK JONES: JUST QUIT! IT'S NOT WORTH IT!
BILL HEWSON: He will never quit... it's not in him.
Jeff James tries to crawl out of the ring, but is stopped by Billy. Billy tells him to get up and then backs away. James is allowed to get up. Billy Kryenik taunts him. James tries to get a hold of SBK, but gets a boot to the gut of James. He has the double underhook... he is looking for DRY LAKE! Jeff James gets out of the grasp of Billy. He spins around catching Billy with a wheelbarrow pin! ONE! TWO!! THREE!!!
JACK JONES: WHAT THE (BLEEP) JUST HAPPENED?
BILL HEWSON: Watch the F bombs. JEFF JAMES HAS PULLED THE UPSET!
FRANK WARBURTON: THE WINNER OF THE MATCH JEFF-
Billy is enraged, and pushes down Frank. He grabs Jeff begins leveling him with stiff closed fists. He goes and gets a chair. He slides in the ring, but is quickly pulled out by...
BILL HEWSON: TOMMY DEATHROW! He darted to the ring and is blasting away at Sick Billy.
JACK JONES: He isn't the only one joining the fight.
Just then SEBASTIEN MARTYR AND AL B. DAMNED HIT THE RINGSIDE AREA! They club Tommy and hold him up for Billy. Billy takes a violent uppercut to the stomach of Tommy. A right cross to the head of Tommy. BAM! CHAIR SHOT TO THE HEAD OF MARTYR! A chair bounces off Damned's head. One more shot for SBK, as the crowd roards for the Murder City Devil.. Jake Phoenix. Tommy and Jake enter the ring as Stone Zellor makes his way to the ring too. The Damned along with Billy Kryenik stand in the aisle way. Zellor is tending to James. Tommy gets a mic.
DEATHROW: (BLEEP) THIS SHIT! Y'all sons of bitches like this coming from behind cowardly mother (BLEEP) shit. I WANT A GOD DAMN MATCH BILLY!
Billy and The Damned discuss things, then Billy gets on a mic.
BK: Yeah... Ok, so... you want to fight... put those belts on the line, and a fight your ass shall receive.
DEATHROW: (BLEEP) it... DONE DEAL!
Tommy drops the mic, as the three men exit to the back. Stone Zellor and some EMT's help Jeff James to the back.
"Simple Man" - Lynyrd Skynyrd hits the speakers. From behind the Gorilla position steps Jeff Garvin with his wife Julie Malone-Garvin. The crowd is booing and hissing.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, he hails from the Country Music Capital, Memphis, Tennessee! Accompanied to the ring by his wife, he is - "THE ORIGINAL" JEFF GARVIN!!
Garvin steps into the ring, a cocky grin on his face. As he does so "The Imperial March" by John William's plays through the speakers. Again the crowd is booing and hissing. In comes Jason Cruise. He calmly strolls to the ring.
FRANK WARBURTON: And here is his opponent... From Boston, Massachusetts, weighing in tonight at two-hundred and forty-five pounds... JASON CRUISE!!
Cruise walks calmly up the steps, and into the ring.
BILL HEWSON: This is going to be an interesting match, Jack Attack. The crowd is unsure who they they hate the most, Jeff Garvin, or Jason Cruise. Especially after Cruise's mysteriously effective punch last week, and Garvin's winning streak.
JACK JONES: Indeed. As for Cruise's punch, it was just very effective, so give it a rest.
As the commentator's natter away, Cruise removes his sunglasses, throwing them into the crowd, and takes off his t-shirt, throwing that to the time keeper. He repositions his bandana and lets the ref search him for any weapons. The referee gives him a nod, and calls for the bell, signalling that this match is now underway. The two evenly matched heels begin circling one another, waiting for the other to attack, but neither does so. They finally come together in a collar and elbow, testing each others strength. Cruise manages to whip the veteran to the ropes, and on his return gets down on his knees.
BILL HEWSON: What the hell is Cruise trying to do?
Garvin looks down at Cruise, who looks up at him with a huge grin. Without hesitation Jason hits Garvin in the balls, which drops Jeff on his knees in front of Jason, who gives him the thumb to the eye.
JACK JONES: Excellent strategy there by Jason Cruise. Faking out Jeff Garvin there.
BILL HEWSON: That's cheating pure and simple.
JACK JONES: Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat!
Cruise gets to his feet, a grin plastered on his face. He hits his traditional Izzy Kick to the chest of his opponent... somehow The Original is still on his knees, so Jason pulls Jeff up to his feet using his hair. Garvin shakes out the cobwebs, and stares at Cruise with pure hatred in his eyes. Cruise just shrugs, talking a little trash. This does nothing to help the situation as Garvin comes in with fists flying, backing Cruise into a corner. The ref manages to separate the two after administering the five count. Garvin rushes towards Jason, but meets with a shoulder full of ring post as Cruise craftily moves out of the way. Cruise rolls up for the pin. But Jeff kicks out before the ref can even get a one count.
They both back to their feet. Cruise charges Garvin but is taken down with an arm drag, Cruise on his feet in moments, and meets with another arm drag as he charges The Original. As Jason raises to his feet for a third time, Jeff is behind him, wrapping his arms around the Boston Native.
BILL HEWSON: This can only mean one thing.
JACK JONES: And what's that?
BILL HEWSON: That he's going to hit a ....
German Suplex!! Jeff has laid Cruise out on the mat. Garvin makes the cover. One... Kick out. Now it's Cruise's turn to shake out the cobwebs as both competitors reluctantly get to their feet. They tie up, with Jeff being sent to the ropes, and guillotined on the middle rope, with a drop toe hold from Cruise. Jason takes to the top turnbuckle, and chops Jeff's head even more with a falling Leg Drop. Recovering quickly, Jason wanders over to thetime keepers table. He grabs the folding chair before rolling back into the ring. Jeff Garvin has stumbled to his feet. Jason whips off the ropes and attempts to hit a Pwnd! on Garvin --- who ducks! And the referee eats steel, knocking him out! Jason turns, and also eats steel, as the chair is superkicked into his face!
JACK JONES: This match should get interesting now that the ref's out, and there's a chair in the ring.
The superkick sends Cruise over the ropes and onto the floor below. The chair remains in the ring as Garvin follows his opponent to the outside. Garvin lays a few swift kicks into the body area of the downed Cruise before dragging him to his feet. Jason groggily punches the area, unsure of the true distance between himself and Jeff. Original just lays a few punches in, which seems to work well on Cruise, as he seems to wake him up. As the two fighters face off, Cruise bends down, taking something out of his boot again.
BILL HEWSON: Here we go. It's time for a Jason Cruise "Super Punch".
Hewson guess's right as what appears to be two pairs of Brass Knuckles, slipping a pair on each hand, he rushes Garvin, giving him a sledgehammer punch to the guts, and a brutal uppercut to the face, which knocks down the former champion. Jason begins punching away at the face of Jeff. He throws off the knuckles, rolling Garvin back in the ring. He picks up the chair, placing it in the centre of the ring, he picks up The Original One, and hits CRUISE CONTROL. There is a sickening thud as skull meets steel for the second time in this match up. The crowd is crying out "Cruise sucks balls." as the cocky rookie slaps the referee awake, before heading up top. AIR CRUISE!!! Jason holds his stomach, that took a lot out of him as well, he makes the cover... referee is still out? No, here he comes! The count!
ONE...
TWO...
KICKOUT!!!
JACK JONES: Somehow The Original One managed to kick out of an Air Cruise AND a Cruise Control onto a chair.
BILL HEWSON: Make a note of this viewers, Jeff Jones is actually amazed by something that happened IN A MATCH. And for once I'd have to agree with you. I'm stunned that Garvin can actually kick out of anything, after two very devastating moves.
Jason Cruise is equally amazed at this, as he gets to his feet, and begins arguing with the referee about the three count. Garvin gets up holding his head. The crowd is actually cheering for the tenacity of Garvin. Cruise charges Garvin and meets with the highly infamous, and very welled used STO!!! Cruise is picked up from the canvas and is laid to waste with a Memphis Death Certificate. Garvin makes the cover. The referee counts ONE! TWO! THREE!
And there we have it "Simple Man" plays through out as the crowd actually cheers for the heel.
FRANK WARBURTON: And here is your winner by way of pinfall - THE ORIGINAL JEFF GARVIN!
BILL HEWSON: And there we have it ladies and gentlemen. Another win for the seemingly unbeatable Jeff Garvin and his Memphis Death Certificate.
As Bill makes his post match comment, Simply Beautiful rolls into the ring.
JACK JONES: What the hell's Simply Beautiful doing here?
BILL HEWSON: Possibly to deal some respect into Cruise perhaps, after Jason refused the handshake last week.
But Hewson is wrong, SB seems to be taking offence to Jeff Garvin. They are face to face and exchanging heated words. Jason Cruise steps in, wanting to know what the hell's going on.
BILL HEWSON: This could get ugly.
And boy does it. Without warning SB unleashes a Sexykick, knocking Cruise flat. This is quickly followed by a Garvin STO on Simply Beautiful. Heel Hook from Garvin on SB! A gang of officials come running down to the ring and manage to break the two apart. But not before Jeff has down some damage to the heel of SB, who limps out of the ring. Cruise is carried, and Garvin storms out in a fury...
JACK JONES: That's certainly one of the more interesting finishes of the night. Don't go away, we've still got more matches to come.
BILL HEWSON: Where were you?
JACK JONES: Just getting some snacks, helpful to have a hot dog cart ten feet from our announce table. Would you look at this smokie, Hewson? Slathered in onions, saurkraut, pickles, mustard, ketchup, relish, cheese, chili and jalepenos. Oh man.
BILL HEWSON: You know you're not twenty anymore, right? You're going to pay for that later.
JACK JONES: *chomp* Suit y'self Hw'sn *scarf*, liv' littl'!
BILL HEWSON: Right... let's go to the ring.
Frank is ready to announce the next contest!
FRANK WARBURTON: Weighing in at an impressive Two-Hundred-Sixty-Two Pounds and standing tall at a chilling Six feet eight inches. From Salmon River, British Columbia... KEVIN KOOOOODIAK!
Frankenstein blares through the speakers, people could stand block and blocks away and still feel every note. The only thing louder than the song itself is the intense look on Kodiak's mug. He cracks his knuckles and talks under his breath as he walks towards the ring. The crowd rains Kodiak with boos, it doesn't bother him, he smiles, is this his motivation?
FRANK WARBURTON: Now, standing at an outstanding height of Six-feet-three-inches. Weighing over One-Hundred-Seventy pounds. Hailing from Staten Island, New York. He is your Provincial Champion... STOOOONE ZELLORRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
As if on cue, Stone explodes through the curtains just as Bang Bang To The Rock 'N' Roll explodes through the speakers. He rocks his Provincial belt around his waist with the utmost pride. The crowd, well the crowd does as it always does, goes wild for the Pimp. People jump up and down, others just deliver a standing ovation. Everyone is happy to see him, expect one person, Kodiak. Kodiak seems sick to his stomach of this kid. It doesn't bother Stone, he slaps five people from the crowd and whispers in ears of women.
BILL HEWSON: Look at Stone, full of energy, full of life. What's not to like?
JACK JONES: Look at Kodiak, full of anger, full of hate. What's not to like?
Stone finds his way into the ring, he unbuckles the belt from his waist and hands it over to the ref. The ref raise the belt over his his head and motions for the...DING DING DING! Both men advance towards the center of the ring. Stone extends his arm out, motioning for Kevin to stop. The crowd cheers, they know what's next. A DANCE OFF! The pimp grabs Kodiak's hand. Kodiak looks at his hands and follows the trail to Stone's face. Stone pop locks and Kodiak takes his head off with a HUGE CLOTHESLINE!
BILL HEWSON: Kodiak doesn't want to dance, apparently, but what a cheap shot!
JACK JONES: This is a wrestling match, not a dance contest! About time somebody reminded Stone about that!
Kodiak brings Stone to his feet and sends him rushing into the ropes just to return back to the sender. Stone goes flying into the air, courtesy of a big back body drop. The Long Island native crashes into the ground hard, it doesn't seem to bother the giant from Salmon River. He walks slowly towards the prey. The prey doesn't know he's being stalked, he tries to get to his feet. He gets to his knees....BIG BOOT! The contender means business tonight. The champ, so much heart. He tries to get to his feet just to be greeted with another big boot. Kodiak grabs the champ by the foot and drags him towards the middle of the ring, he stomps one time on Stone's stomach. Stone folds over, Kodiak brings him up to his feet. He sends him into the corner. he gives Stone no time to rest, Kodiak comes rushing towards Stone. Stone being the faster and lighter, he dodges this bullet and breaks off a drop kick. Kevin stumbles into the turnbuckle then stumbles out into a school boy roll up. One...only one, then a kick-out.
Stone rushes to the ropes, Kodiak now on one knee. Stone hops on Kodiak's knee, mule kicks, follows that with a somersault and sticks the landing. The crowd cheers for champ. The pimp climbs the turnbuckle and plays predator this time. Kevin is now on his feet with his back turned to Zellor. He gets nailed by a missile drop kick and is boosted out of the ring. The crowd laugh at the man on the floor. He's angered, punches the ground and roars. Everyone in the crowd shuts up in fear. Kevin stares them all down and turns around. Stone Zellor flies through the air and lands in the arms of the angry beast. Kevin drops the kid on his knee, he scoops him up, drops him again. Scoops. Then drops. Scoops. then drops. He ends the combo with a fall away slam.
BILL HEWSON: And just like that, the match is back in Kodiak's favor.
The big man approaches the downed champ, places the champ on his feet. He lands a knee into the mid section. He follows the knee with lightning fast punches to the face and gut. Stone falls down to his knees, he tries to climb back onto his feet using Kodiak. Kodiak laughs then drives a Double Axe Handle to his back. Stone is back on the floor. Kodiak takes this time to exchange words with the crowd. Stone is now back on his feet, he taps Kodiak's shoulder, Kodiak turns around, PIMP SLAP!
CROWD: YOU'VE BEEN PIMPED SLAPPED BITCH!
Kodiak isn't too pleased by this, he kicks Stone's knee and places him in Vertical Suplex, crashing down to the grass. He rolls the champ into the ring. "I SMELL VICTORY!"
JACK JONES: It's great when a wrestler's confident.
Kodiak goes for the pin, ONE...TWO...KICK OUT. He covers Stone again. ONE....TWO...KICK OUT. He covers Stone, this time pulling up both legs. ONE, TWO, THR KICK OUT. Kodiak picks up Stone and sends him towards the ropes, Stone explodes with a BIG cross body. It takes the big man down and the little man goes to the top rope. He nails the diving head butt, covers, ONE, TWO, THR KICK OUT! He walks over to pick up Kodiak, Kodiak has other plans in mind, he low blows Stone. Big mistake, BALLS OF STEEL! Kodiak grabs his arm and winces in pain. Stone delivers another Pimp Slap.
CROWD: YOU GOT PIMPED SLAPPED, TWICE!
Stone takes this chance to deliver a drop kick directly on Kodiak's head. Kodiak falls over face first. Stone hits a leg drop on the downed Kodiak. He know goes to work on the damaged arm. He locks in a Fujiwara Armbar. Kodiak is in pain. He struggles to get to the ropes, but, he does. The ref walks over to Kodiak to speak to him about his arm, he shoves the ref away and continues the match. Stone and Kodiak tie up for the first time in this match. Kodiak powers the kid into the corner, he begins to choke Stone. The ref comes in ONE TWO THREE FOUR. Kodiak lets go, he knows the rules, he backs off, then he goes for a right hand towards Stone. Stone on top of his game, blocks the punch and begins to fire a right, a left, a right, a left, the crowd gets behind the pimp with every blow. The big man stumbles backwards absorbing the shots, Stone knocks Kodiak into the corner with a huge uppercut. Stone stands on the second rope and begins to fire punch number ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE, TE -- Kodiak shoves Stone off of him and delivers a big boot to Stone's noggin. He now covers, ONE. TWO. KICK OUT!
BILL HEWSON: The heart on this kid. He went 60 minutes with Ravager, he beat Ca$h with a bum shoulder, and now Kodiak is wondering just what he has to do to keep Stone Zellor down! Can you believe Stone Zellor's heart?
JACK JONES: Yeah, I just hate it.
Kodiak looks at his arms and tries to shake the pain off. He wants revenge. He drags Stone by the legs towards the ring post, he places Stone properly, Kodiak slides out of the ring, takes Stone's right leg and SLAMS IT INTO THE RING POST! Then again and again and again. Now he does the same to the left leg.
JACK JONES: See, this guy doesn't discriminate. He's all about equality. A great guy, Bill, great guy.
BILL HEWSON: Okay, sure.
Kodiak now takes Stone out of the ring, he props Stone up agains the ring post. Kodiak takes a few steps back and rushes towards Stone with a clothesline in mind. NOBODY HOME! Stone's legs gave out causing him to hit the ground, Kodiak already had too much momentum, he couldn't do anything about it!
BILL HEWSON: You gotta love the irony in that.
JACK JONES: This is just terrible. The man is a giving man, a man of the year candidate and this is how you treat him?
Both men are laid out on the grass. Stone tries his hardest to get up and so does Kodiak. They both struggle, it's a struggle never seen by anyone. They grimace. They sweat. As different as they are, they both look more determined than ever to finish this match. They say (BLEEP) the pain and climb back into the ring. The crowd cheer on both men for mustering up the strength to get back into the ring and continue the show. Stone asks for a test of strength and receives a kick to the gut. The crowd begins to jeer. Kodiak laughs at all of them and sets Stone up for the TIMBER! He stalls, stalls, stalls and stalls some more. He stalls a bit too long, Stone is able to reverse the fate that awaited him into a BIG TORNADO DDT! Kodiak's skull spikes into the canvas! Stone covers! ONE! TWO! THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: YOUR WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION!!! STONE ZELLOR!
Kevin Kodiak rolls out of the ring and walks towards the locker room with his head down in shame. On Stone's side, it's a total different story. Stone Zellor raises the title over his head and begins to celebrate his hard fought victory. He now wraps the belt around his waist and exits the ring to shares the joy with the crowd, who is just as happy. He hugs, slaps five, kisses fine women, it's all good.
Then.
The Crimes are all scattered around in random parts of the crowd. Does Stone know this? Yes he does, he spots Darko and lands a mean right nose first to the masked former tag champion. Darko is no push over and returns a right just as strong, but to his left eye! Stone jolts back, Darko takes the opportunity to land rights and lefts, before tossing him over the guard rail. Darko now on his way over the guard rail is greeted by furious fists courtesy of the NAPW Provincial Champion. Stone then hay makers Darko back into the crowd. He celebrates once again, lifting his arms up and the belt is still around his waist. Cash comes out of nowhere and locks the champ into a Full Nelson, he's got it in tightly. Stone begins to fade, THE PIMP IS FADING! THE PIMP IS FADING! The crowd won't stand for this, they stomp, they clap, they roar. They do whatever they can to bring the champ back and it works. THE PIMP AIN'T FADING! THE PIMP AIN'T FADING! He fires back with elbows to Cash. Cash can't hold on anymore, he releases Stone and rushes towards him with a clothesline in mind. Stone dodges and hooks up Ca$h for the SLAMMY TIME --- He doesn't know who's behind him, he doesn't know THOMAS HAS A STEEL CHAIR IN HAND! HE DOESN'T KNOW HE'S ABOUT TO GET BEHEADED!
He knows now. Stone, face down into the ground eats grass and dirt, as his carcass gets dragged by Thomas. Thomas tosses the man back into the ring. Cash enters the ring. Kevin Kodiak, returns to the ring a second time. Thomas, Cash, Kodiak, they stand united as the back Stone into the corner. Darko, he also returns, he doesn't enter the ring though. He comes from behind, grabbing Stone's legs and tripping him to the mat. Like a pack of wolves, Cash, Thomas, Kodiak begin to stomp any ounce of life out of the Champ.
BILL HEWSON: He'll never walk out alive!
JACK JONES: Good! I never liked that fake pimp!
Darko finally enters the ring for the first time and with a chair. He enters with a bell and places it one the mat. Darko sits on the top turnbuckle and orders the men to place Stone's face on the bell. They do as told and Darko shouts, "YOU TRY TO BREAK MY NOSE? I BREAK YOUR JAW!"
BILL HEWSON: NO, DARKO, NO!
Darko is about to jump, but he notices company coming! It's Ravager with taped ribs! Link Van Haggard! And look, Jeff James is limping his way towards the lynching! All three men come wielding weapons. The Crimes and Kodiak know exactly what message is being sent, so they high tail it out of the ring and into the crowd, heading for the hills while the good guys of NAPW go help Stone up. Haggard looks like he could get even more of Kodiak, but fortunately Stone is saved from possibly having his career ended like The Foundation did to "The Sparx" Chris Corstenoca down in REBEL. The crowd cheers as Stone holds up the Provincial title one more time.
JACK JONES: ... never seen so many fire ants before or since, let me tell you.
BILL HEWSON: He's lucky to still be alive!
JACK JONES: You're telling me!
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for ONE FALL.
"When the Lights Go Out." Or at least, the music. The crowd isn't too happy to see a twitchy "LDK" LLOYD REES step out from the curtains with JOHN SALTY in tow, and they let him hear it.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, weighing in at TWO HUNDRED and FORTY SEVEN pounds, and being accompanied to the ring by JOHN SALTY... L! D! K! LLOOOOOYYYYD... REES!
BILL HEWSON: I don't understand what the heck is up with Lloyd Rees these days. Ever since he lost the Provincial Title, it's like his whole world's been unravelling.
JACK JONES: Lloyd Rees has practically OWNED the Provincial Title since he came to the NAPW, Bill Hewson. He... HEADS UP!
The crowd erupts as CHRIS CASINO sprints out from the curtains and just lays into Rees in the aisle! Rees is totally caught off guard, and reels as Casino pops him a few quick jabs, then grabs him by the head and drives Rees headfirst into the guardrail! Rees staggers away, trying to get some space between them as the crowd cheers wildly. Salty tries to warn off Casino, but Chris Casino, smirking, just shoves John Salty aside and continues after Rees... only to get KICKED right in the mush. Casino doubles over, and now Rees is taking him and whipping him HARD into the ringsteps. Casino crashes into the SOLID STEEL steps, crumpling into a heap. Rees, face now set with a disturbing calmness, pulls Casino up to his feet, taking him by the head, and SLAMS him face first into the ringpost. Casino slumps down against apron, clutching at the ring to keep himself steady and shaking his smarting head... and a trickle of BLOOD can be seen on his forehead!
BILL HEWSON: Chris Casino's been busted open! This match hasn't even legally STARTED yet!
JACK JONES: Maybe if Casino played fair, he would have found himself in this predicament!
Rees grabs Casino again by the head, rears back, and goes to SLAM his opponent headfirst into the side of the ring... but Casino blocks it, and throws back an elbow that sends Rees reeling again... SUPERKICK! Rees spills over the guardrail into the first row! John Salty is again warning Chris Casino off, but Casino shoulders him aside again and hops over the guardrail. Rees is pulling himself back up using some fans in the front row when Casino takes him by a handful of hair and drives his skull into the metal guardrail again. There's a sick thump as skull meets metal, and Casino starts GRINDING Rees' face into the metal. Rees cries out in agony, and the crowd cheers again! Casino then hops back over the guardrail, pulls LDK so his torso is hanging over the edge of it, takes a step back... and gets a Running Elbow Drop on Rees over the guardrail! Rees spills back to ringside... and now HE'S bleeding too from a nasty cut on his forehead.
JACK JONES: No! Call the paramedics! Someone end this match!
BILL HEWSON: They haven't even entered the ring yet!
Salty goes to tend to Rees on the floor, only to stagger back when Casino pulls up Rees and rolls him into the ring. Casino then hops up to the apron, and glances back at the crowd who are going absolutely WILD. Smirking, Chris Casino steps over the middle rope and into the ring. There's the bell!
Both men are already bleeding as Casino pulls LDK up... and has his hands knocked aside! Rees unleashes a brutal chop that causes the perspiration on Chris' chest to erupt in a cloud. The crowd WOOO's along with it, but Casino is now the one sent reeling. Rees stalks after him, expression icy cold, grabs hold of his opponent... DDT FROM THE GREEN! Casino gets planted leaving a big red smear on the canvas. Lloyd relentlessly presses on, taking hold of Casino's legs and twisting them into the LANCE COVE LEGLOCK!
JACK JONES: And it's all over, Bill Hewson! Even if Chris Casino doesn't tap out to this, it's going to still cost him his speed and jumpy moves! Say what you will about his mental state, but LDK Lloyd Rees is, and always will be, a RING GENERAL.
The crowd is chanting "Chris! Chris! Chris! Chris!" as Casino clutches at his hair and bites back his pain. He starts pumping a fist, which just gets the crowd chanting louder! "CHRIS! CHRIS! CHRIS! CHRIS!" He's feeing off the energy, getting himself fired up... and is able to reach the ropes! Referee John Sharplin orders Rees to let go, and he happily obliges at the count of four and nine-tenths. Casino scrambles to regain his footing, pulling himself up with the ropes... and LDK is right there to catch him by the back of the head... Conception Bay Chinlock!? NO! Casino jabs his fingers STRAIGHT INTO REES' THROAT! The crowd cringes while Rees gags and lets go of Casino, staggering back, eyes wide and clutching at his neck! Sharplin warns Casino that he's not sure that was legal, but Casino isn't even listening to him. He unloads a toe kick that doubles over the crimson-faced, choking Rees, grabs the arms... UNDERHOOK BACKBREAKER! Rees writhes on the canvas, coughing, and Casino just straddles him from behind, takes hold of Lloyd Rees' face, hooks his fingers into LDK's mouth, and PULLS! Rees' eyes bug out and he SCREAMS! He flails for the ropes, wailing the whole way, and manages to catch them. Casino releases the hold.
BILL HEWSON: My GOD! I can't remember the last time I've seen such a BRUTAL, PERSONAL match! These two aren't just here to BEAT one another, Jack Attack... they want to just HURT one another!
Rees is hanging off the middle rope, looking worse for wear. Chris backs off across the ring, then gets a running start... and NOBODY HOME! LDK throws himself aside at the last second, and Casino just GROINS himself in the ropes, howling in pain! Rees grabs the ropes and starts bouncing them up and down, inflicting as much pain as he can on Casino's... ahem... poker chips. The shaking finally causes the howling Chris Casino to spill into the ring, clutching at his injured junk. LDK's previous calm is gone, and he looks unhinged. Wild. Deranged. He pulls Chris Casino to his feet, and unleashes another wicked chop... WABANA BUSTER! Casino is driven like a railroad spike into the canvas, and this... well, this could be over right now. Rees hooks the leg!
One!
Two!
Thrfootontheropes!
JACK JONES: NO!
Rees pounds on the mat, and angrily unleashes a fast torrent of Newfese into John Sharplin who just shakes his head and indicates the foot on the ropes. Rees snarls like an animal, takes Casino by the crimson stained hair and pulls him away from the ropes and pins again.
One!
Two!
Kickout!
Now LDK is having a full blown temper tantrum in the ring. He's on his feet, arguing with Sharplin that it was three, but the referee just calmly shakes his head that it was, indeed, two. Casino is slowly pulling himself to his feet. Rees abandons his argument, stalks over to Casino and locks up from behind... but Casino throws out an elbow into LDK's gizzards... standing switch... NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! With the bridge! One! Two! Kickout at two Both men scramble to their feet as fast as they can, but Chris Casino has the edge in speed. He unloads a toe kick, and hooks up Rees' arms for the BANKRUPT... and Rees REVERSES Casino, flipping him right into his back.
NISH
J
DROP!
Chris Casino goes splat. The crowd is booing for all they're worth as Rees spends quite possibly all his remaining energy throwing an arm over his twitching foe. The punishment... it was just too much for Chris Casino tonight.
ONE!
TWO!
THRRRRREEEKICKOUT!
Kickout!?
KICKOUT!!
Rees is sputtering. He throws his arm back over his fallen opponent. One! Two! Kickout! LDK is in shock. Disbelief! Denial! MISERY! He throws his arm over Casino AGAIN! One! Two! Kickout! AGAIN! One! KICKOUT! And now Rees is on his feet as the crowd is going INSANE, practically FROTHING at the mouth.
JACK JONES: How!? HOW!? How did Chris Casino kick out of the Nish J. Drop!? It's...
BILL HEWSON: It's all that emotion! All that reckless energy! Tonight, Chris Casino is going to beat Lloyd Rees or DIE TRYING!
Casino slowly, shakily, gets to his feet, chest heaving. Lloyd Rees, hair mussed, face red with blood, eyes gleaming with madness... is sizing him up and down. Casino braces himself with the ropes and levels a calm gaze at Rees.
And he smiles a bloody smile.
Rees HOWLS like an enraged animal AND CHARGES! Full tilt!
Chris Casino steps out of the way.
Lloyd Rees collides with the ringpost with enough force to shake the ring. He careens backward after the impact, and Chris Casino catches him... BRAINBUSTER! Rees goes end over end, landing face up near the middle of the ring, and Casino... he leaps to the top rope.
The crowd is on it's feet.
BILL HEWSON: Don't do it! It never works!
But tonight? Chris Casino. On the top rope. Framed by the setting sun. He could be a fiery angel of vengeance. Tonight, Bill Hewson, is magical.
CASH!
OUT!
The 450 Splash connects, Casino hooks the leg! One!
TWO!
THREEEEEE!!
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your WINNER... CHRIS! CASINO!
The crowd is going ABSOLUTELY WILD! Casino, bloody, bruised, raises his hands in triumph...
And then BAILS from the ring as THE FOUNDATION and CA$H once again hit the ring running! John Salty is also in the ring, checking up on Rees who's coming too. In an instant, he knows what's happened, and he's on his feet, spittle flying from his mouth, eyes wild and LUNGES toward Casino at ringside...
But Chris Casino is beating a hasty retreat through the crowd, who're all too happy to help him escape, and are patting him on the back as he goes. The Crimes don't get their hands on their man this time. He smiles back at Rees in the ring as makes good his getaway, and waves.
BILL HEWSON: Such a BRUTAL match. So personal. So much pride on the line. And Chris Casino walks out the winner!
JACK JONES: I don't know, Bill Hewson. Chris Casino may have won this battle... but I think the WAR is far from over! Lloyd Rees was in a scary place BEFORE tonight... and I'd hate to think where he'll be afterwards.
BILL HEWSON: That's a good point... you know what though, Jack Attack, I'm sick and tired of watching THE CRIMES rush the ring and attack their rivals like a pack of wolves! Something's got to give, somebody's go to put a stop to it?
JACK JONES: Like who? The owner? Oh wait! That's Rex Caliber! Hewson, The Crimes have FULL RIGHT to do whatever they want, when they want!
BILL HEWSON: The Foundation aren't even on the roster here, they're in REBEL!
JACK JONES: Bitch, bitch, bitch.
It's taking all three of his teammates and his manager to hold Lloyd Rees back. He's not done with Chris Casino. Not by a long shot.
JACK JONES: Anyways, so I paid the parking ticket.
BILL HEWSON: On time? With no evasion?
JACK JONES: Well, yeah, I mean, I was in the wrong.
BILL HEWSON: Color me shocked.
JACK JONES: What? I knew I should have put more time in the meter. Just John Q Peace-officer doing his job.
BILL HEWSON: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for our main event. For the eleventh time, it will be the NAPW Champion Ravager putting his title belt on the line. His opponent? One of the most unpredictable wrestlers in NAPW, Donovan Astros - who earned his title shot by controversial means, to say the least.
JACK JONES: Controversial? You have to take things in this business, and Astros did just that - he took an NAPW title shot.
BILL HEWSON: The question is, can he make good? We'll find out.
The hot, tired crowd nonetheless showers Donovan Astros with boos as he makes his way out of the curtain, with the sun just beginning to set. Astros walks to the ring and rolls in. He doesn't want to wait any longer, it seems... and he doesn't have any time for the crowd's jeers.
And then they explode.
PATH.
Theme music pumping through the PA and echoing throughout Olympic Plaza, Ravager enters with the title around his waist. He looks out over the crowd calmly, intensity brimming. Of course, it's easy to note the key difference... the fact that Ravager has tape wrapped around his torso for his injured ribs.
BILL HEWSON: Ravager has been a fighting champion. Ten times he has defended the NAPW title. He has held it since the fifth of February this year, turning back all challengers! But the schedule has run him ragged, Jack Attack... and last week Jade and Karnage did a number on him!
JACK JONES: Two cracked ribs, one broken, and a potentially bruised spleen? I'd say that's a big number, Hewson.
BILL HEWSON: One that no doubt Donovan Astros will attempt to exploit. Will tonight be the night? Calgary wants to know!
Ravager is in the ring, up on the turnbuckle. He drops down, wincing almost imperceptibly. Referee Dick Kiebiech is in the ring, Frank Warburton is in the center mic in hand.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for a 60-minute time limit and is the main event for Get The Hell Off Our Lawn II, and is for the NAPW Championship! The official in charge at the bell, senior referee Dick Kiebiech.
To my right wearing black and gold. He weighed in this morning at two-hundred and twenty-seven pounds and stands at a height of six-feet, three inches. He is a former NAPW Tag Team champion and tonight challenges for his first NAPW Championship! Ladies and gentlemen... Donovannnnnn Astrooooooooos!
The crowd boos. Astros ignores them, giving Ravager a cockeyed smirk. The champion isn't fazed.
FRANK WARBURTON: To my left wearing black... he weighed in this morning at two-hundred and ten pounds, and stands five-feet, ten inches tall! He is a the first Provincial Champion in NAPW history and the longest reigning NAPW Champion in history! Ladies and gentlemen, THE CHAMPEEEEEEEN... Raaaaaaaavagerrrrrrrrrr!
Crowd gives a huge pop. Ravager hands the title over to Dick Kiebiech, who displays it to Astros, then all four sides of the crowd. Finally, the bell rings.
Astros immediately strides up to Ravager, meeting in the center of the ring. Astros looks down at Ravager with an expression of hate in his face
SLAP
Crowd ooohs. Astros allows himself a smirk
THWACK
The sound of Ravager's chop resounding off of Astros bare chest. Donovan gasps in shock as the crowd gets on his case. He snarls and then attemps to slap Ravager again --- caught! Ravager with a headbutt! Another! A third! Astros is staggered, Ravager opens up with another chop! Another! CHOP! CHOP! Astros into the ropes, trying to cover up, Ravager whips his arms out of the way and CHOPS him some more! And more! And more! And more! Good God!
BILL HEWSON: THE CHAMPION IS LIGHTING ASTROS UP WITH CHOPS! My God, Ravager has brought a new intensity with him to Calgary tonight!
JACK JONES: Yeah, well he's --- YEOWCH! It hurts to listen to them!
Another big chop and Astros drops to the canvas, rolling to the outside. He's trying to walk it off, chest red and welted already. The crowd is cheering, on their feet for Ravager. The champ then decides to follow. He turns Astros around, CHOP! Astros against the guard rail, CHOP! Another chop! Irish whip --- Astros reverses! Ravager nails the ring post with his shoulder. He staggers back, grabbed by Astros for a suplex on the outside! Ravager blocks, tries one of his own --- Astros blocks, and this time he lifts Ravager up high...
And drops him rib-first across the STEEL guardrail. Ravager crumbles into the crowd on the other side, wracked in pain. Astros takes a momentary breather, pleased with himself. The referee's count reaches his ears, up to six. Astros rolls in to break the count, then rolls right back out. Kiebiech tells Astros he can't win it outside the ring, but Donovan isn't hearing him right now. Instead, he grabs the rising Ravager and starts muscling him back over the guardrail. What's this?
Oh dear.
Hangman DDT on the concrete, Ravager's feet still on the guardrail! Good lord!
What a sick move that was, the crowd getting on Astros case for it. Donovan rolls Ravager back into the ring and rolls in himself. He makes a cover, one, two, Ravager kicks out. Somehow. The champion looks dazed, blood streaming from his forehead. Astros grabs a handful of black hair and starts pounding away at the cut, Kiebiech yelling at him to get off. Astros sticks a knee over Ravager's throat, arguing with the referee. Kiebiech is busy yelling at Astros and doesn't realize the challenger is choking Ravager out. Astros relents. And then... he boots the ribs.
JACK JONES: Now there's your exploitation!
BILL HEWSON: What? Never mind. The challenger Donovan Astros, as we all suspected he would, going to work now on the broken ribs of Ravager.
JACK JONES: If you can't breathe, you can't wrestle --- and you can't retain the title!
Astros with another stomp to the ribs, and then he gets down to the canvas. What's he going for? Looks like a Bow & Arrow lock! He wraps an arm around Ravager's head, hooks the legs, and rolls back --- holding the champion in the air and pulling back! Ravager's broken ribs no doubt screaming in pain, but Ravager shakes his head, he won't give up. But how long can he last?
Bow & Arrow lock on, Kiebiech asking Ravager if he's going to give up. "NO!" screams Ravager. Astros gives a final wrench, then releases the hold. Time to change tactics. Ravager on his hand and knees, holding his ribs... oh dear. Not only is there blood on his forehead, but glistening red is coming out of his mouth. It appears Ravager is bleeding internally...
Astros stands over top of the crawling Ravager, then leaps up and comes crashing down. Ravager collapses, but gets back up. Again Astros leaps up and crashes down on Ravager, legs scissoring in to further ruin the ribs. Ravager again down to the canvas.
And again Ravager crawls.
Using the ropes, Ravager pulls himself up. Astros throws a forearm into Ravager's back, Ravager grits his teeth and continues to get up. Forearm, Ravager won't go down. Astros turns the man around, throwing a chop into Ravager's ribs...
The eyes flash.
Ravager fires back! CHOP! CHOP! CHOOOOOOP!
BILL HEWSON: The champion showing his fire here, listen to those chops! And --- Astros goes to the eyes with a gouge to stop the momentum, what a cheap move.
JACK JONES: But effective!
BILL HEWSON: Astros sends Ravager to the ropes... admoninal stretch! And don't let the name fool you, that move will further damage the champion's broken ribs! Astros is relentless!
Astros wrenching back on the stretch, throwing a few blows across Ravager's ribs for good measure. Ravager yells out, but no submission. I mean, abdominal stretch... However, when the referee isn't looking, Astros reaches out with his free hand and grabs the top rope for added leverage, making it almost impossible for the champ to get out of this one! Kiebiech checking on Ravager, looks up, Astros' hand is already gone. Kiebiech back to Ravager, Astros' hand finds it way back to the top rope. Crowd giving him hell for that. Kiebiech again looks up...
And catches Astros with his hand on the rope! Dick calls for a break, Astros doesn't bother letting go, doing as much damage to Ravager as he can... Kiebiech finally gets sick of it and kicks Astros hand off the top rope! Donovan whips around, fury on his face. Kiebiech tells Astros to watch it or he'll disqualify him! Astros turns around in anger --- toe-kick! DDT FROM RAVAGER! Astros is down! Ravager with a leg, one, two, Astros kicks out! The champion on his knees, wincing, but he pulls Astros by the hair and back up. Snap suplex! Float over, Ravager gets to his feet and drops the diving headbutt into the heart of Astros. COVER --- ONE! TWO! KICK-OUT!
Ravager whips Astros into the corner hard, hits the ropes himself
LARIATOOOOOO
Astros turns inside out! CHAMPION COVERS!
ONE!
TWO!
THKICKOUT!
BILL HEWSON: So close to a three-count right there! The champion is gaining momentum, and that's only bad news for the challenger! How do you stop the champion when he gets into the zone like this? How?
Ravager gets up, roaring. He throws another sick chop into Astros' chest, then picks the man up. Onto the top rope? Ravager looking for INSTANT KARMA --- No, Astros with a shot to Ravager's ribs. The champ stumbles off the turnbuckle as Astros grabs the head... spins off, lands on his feet, then hits the ASTROLABE DDT! The champ is planted ---- COVER! ONE! TWO! Ravager kicks out! Astros argues the count with the ref, then turns around and stomps Ravager good. Irish whip --- Ravager sternum first into the corner at high velocity! The champion shoots backwards to the canvas, arms crossed against his chest in pain. Ravager nearly fetal, and it's Astros to take advantage with a roll-up...
FEET ON THE ROPES.
ONE!
TWO!
TH---KICK OUT!
Astros snarls, throws a forearm into the ribs once again. He pulls Ravager up, wraps the arms... Aztecan Suplex! Ravager crashes down. But it's not a cover... Astros pulls Ravager up and hooks the arms from behind, turns him --- ASTROCIDE! Ravager reverses! LAST RESORT! Astros struggling, MULE KICK! Ravager takes it in the groin, referee doesn't catch it, Astros has the arms again...
And Ravager gets his face unprettied.
The crowd is in shock as Astros hooks the leg for ONE
TWO
THREEEEEEE
...
BILL HEWSON: SHOULDER UP! SHOULDER UP! SHOULDER UP!
JACK JONES: IT'S NOT POSSIBLE! HOW DID HE DO THAT?
BILL HEWSON: You tell me! You tell me! Ravager survives Astrocide! This crowd is ON THEIR FEET! Come on, Olympic Plaza! And Donovan Astros is NOT happy about that, he's belligerently in the face of Dick Kiebiech saying that had to be three. Referee says two --- Astros turns around INSIDE CRADLE! INSIDE CRADLE! ONE! TWO! THREEE--- NO! Astros gets out! Ravager almost put it away right there, just when you thought he was done for!
Astros wails Ravager against the ribs and begins choking him out, one, two, three, four, five, Astros breaks lest he gets disqualified. He's furious now, again choking Ravager on the canvas til the five-count. He gets up and fingers the referee, then grabs Ravager once more for a SECOND Astrocide --- reversed! RAVAGER HAS THE FULL-NELSON!
LAST RESORRRRRRRRT!
But Ravager can't make the cover! His ribs are too damaged, too destroyed, and he's in so much pain. He can barely breathe. Astros is down and out, but the champion can't cover... he crawls. Ravager crawls... and throws an arm over Astros!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE----
Astros kicks out. Barely.
Ravager leans back in utter exhaustion. Last Resort, and it wasn't the end. Ravager pulls the man up... what to do? He bounces off the ropes for a lariat --- Astros ducks! Tries a suplex --- Ravager reverses and gets behind Astros... locks on the KATA-HAJIME! TAZZ-MISSION IS ON! Astros waving his arms, he can't get out! Trying to the ropes, Ravager pulls him back... but Astros has watched Casino/Ravager. He somehow gets close enough to the turnbuckle to begin to walk up it, pushing back into a pinning predicament ---
But Ravager lived that match, and rolls with it, the hold is not broken! Astros is going to tap --- TAP --- TAP --- but he kicks out and hooks a foot on the bottom rope. The action brought him close enough to the ropes. Ravager breaks the hold... off the ropes! Astros rising... LARIATOOOOO! Astros eats canvas, but Ravager not going for the cover? What's this? Throat cut gesture, Double A style! Ravager is going to the top rope!
BILL HEWSON: Ravager going to the top for the Diving Headbutt! He beat Lloyd Rees with this... he pinned The Beast with this! If he hits it, it's over --- wait a minute! Astros is somehow up! I don't know with what strength, but he's up, oh my, shot to the ribs! Another shot to the ribs!
JACK JONES: I can't take much more of this!
The two grapplers struggle on the top rope... Astros with another shot to Ravager's ribs. He turns around... precarious positioning... wait a minute. WHat's he going for? He's not going to... is it even possible?
ASTROCIDE OFF THE TOP ROPE.
Astrocide
OFF THE TOP ROPE.
Ravager crashes down, forehead first, then his chest, then his legs. Astros rolls him over, pulling a leg across and probably praying as Kiebiech hits the canvas...
ONE.
TWO.
THREE.
...
Astros drops the leg, collapsing over Ravager's body.
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner... and NEW NAPW Champeeeeennnn... DONOVAN ASTROOOOOS!
The crowd is shocked, quiet, they can't believe it. After all this time, is it really over?
Astros snatches the title belt away from Kiebiech, eyes greedy as he takes in the gleaming gold. He raises it high, wincing from the brutal contest, then rolls out of the ring, kissing the belt, throwing it over one shoulder. Ten defenses for Ravager.
But not eleven.
BILL HEWSON: For 25 weeks, we have asked - who can beat Ravager? Who can stop the Path of Annihilation? Mark this date on your calendar - July 31st, 2007. Donovan Astros defeats Ravager for the NAPW Championship right here at Get The Hell Off Our Lawn II! For Jack Jones, this is Bill Hewson saying good-night!
Astros stops before the curtain, raising his title belt high for the fans to see. The crowd is jeering now, as Astros grins an Edge-like evil grin before disappearing... taking the title with him. HIS title.
In the ring, Ravager is finally stirring. Bloody lips, bloody forehead. He gets to his feet slowly - gingerly - wincing with every motion.
The crowd is on their feet. Cheering. Applauding. Some crying. The love in the air, in the midst of dusk in Olympic Square in Calgary, Alberta Canada is beautiful. Wonderful. Ravager looks out over the crowd, holding his ribs, sweat and blood drenched, in what kind of pain we don't know.
Thank you, Ravager.
Thank you, Ravager.
Thank you, Ravager.
The former champion looks out over the crowd. If it was possible... Ravager would be showing emotion. Or perhaps he truly is. He looks out over the crowd, breathing hard.
Rex Caliber takes that moment to come out through the curtain and ruin the moment. He has a microphone in his hand and is flanked by the entire Crimes stable. The Foundation. Ca$h. "LDK" Lloyd Rees. Static. Even the hired gun, Kevin Kodiak.
REX CALIBER: Ain't this touching but ya'll shut the (BLEEP) up! I ain't a fan of that Donovan Astros dickhead, but as far as I'm concerned, the son of a bitch took the title off of YOUR stinkin' waist, so he deserves a goddamn medal! You lost Ravager! You lost the belt, you lost the match, and you lost your precious title reign! I tell you what, wrestling don't get any better than this!
The crowd is booing. The Crimes advance on the ring, surrounding it. Caliber gets in alone. Ravager braces himself for a fight.
REX CALIBER: Hey, maybe it's just me, but doesn't this seem... familiar? Yeah, familiar. Real familiar. Like about a year ago in Edmonton, up in Churchill Square? Yeah, I remember now. You slapped handcuffs on my wrists. And teed off on my head with a steel chair! That's right you son of a bitch, I never forgot... GET HIM, BOYS!
And like that, The Crimes swarm the ring. Ravager knocks Darko's block off, gets a piece of Ca$h, but the numbers are too much for him. The beatdown commences. And out of his pocket... Caliber pulls handcuffs. The Foundation force Ravager down to the canvas face-first (they know a lot about getting arrested) and Caliber does the honors himself. They pull Ravager up
JAB
Static and Screwy fuck up Ravager's forehead some as LDK shoves Warburton off of his chair. He folds it up and tosses it to Ravager.
REX CALIBER: So Ravager. Tell me somethin'. You lost your title, and now you're about to lose your head. How do you feel, YOU STUPID BASTARD??!!
Ravager doesn't flinch, staring into Rex's eyes even as Caliber raises the chair back. "SEE YOU IN HELL, RAVAGER!"
The crowd erupts. Rex still has the chair above his head. Ca$h raises the alarm ---
HERE COMES THE CALVARY, LED BY CHRIS CASINO?! WHO'D HAVE THUNK IT?!
Casino! Link Van Haggard! Stone Zellor! Even Jeff James at a limp! They hit the ring and it's all on! Caliber dives out of the ring as Casino superkicks Ca$h down. Haggard flies at Kodiak, Stone and James swinging at everything that moves! The ring gets cleared as the crowd goes crazy! IT'S CASINO AND LDK ALONE CLANG
Caliber from behind with the chair right to the head of Casino. Rees pulls him up and nails a DDT From The Green right on it! The numbers become too much for the others. James is on the concrete, holding his knee, as Static, Cash and Kodiak gang up on Van Haggard, while The Foundation get ahold of Stone. But in the ring. It's LDK holding Casino down with his foot on the throat... and Caliber looking at Ravager. He grabs the mic.
REX CALIBER: ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT! Ravager --- you're not champion! I don't need you anymore! I'm sick of you! SICK OF YOU! YOU HEAR ME? SICK OF YOU! So in about thirty minutes... consider yourself FIRED! But that's thirty minutes from now, which means anything I do to you AIN'T ILLEGAL! SO HERE GOES ---
AND---
Casino is choking
Stone is looking on, trying to break free
James is hurt
Haggard is being pounded
And from the crowd comes one more savior. Who grabs the chair out of Rex Caliber's hands. The owner turns around, his eyes bulge out...
CHART
ATTACK.
THE BEAST IS IN THE RING!
LDK tries to attack, The Beast lifts HIM up on his shoulders --- CHART ATTACK II! The Crimes storm the ring, no, they pull Caliber and Rees out! Caliber is knocked gooney, looking out at the ring, at the towering BEAST standing tall. Casino is looking at Beast surprised himself as Stone Zellor helps Ravager up. James is in the ring now, on one foot, being supported by Link Van Haggard. The crowd is going absolutely apeshit. Static takes a mic.
STATIC: Heyheyhey, you don't work here anymore Richards, so you know what, all of you fans can cheer all you want! The 245 lb shithammer said it --- Richards, you're fired! Ravager, YOU'RE fired! Hell, Rexy, what do you say? ALL OF YOU ARE FIRED! AND YOU CAN ALLLLLL SUCK MY VOODOOOOOOOO!
The crowd boos, boos, boos. They can't believe it. Static is gloating, Caliber possibly regaining his senses... the crowd is stunned. The wrestlers in the ring look disgusted. The Crimes sure know how to rain on the parade. Thank God it's not raining on this outdoor show.
This is the end of NAPW. How can it go on?
...
What's Terry Brandon doing? And why does he look so shaky?
TERRY BRANDON: Um... Rex, son... Static, Crimes, all of you... uh... I don't know how to say this.
REX CALIBER: Bluh... Brandon... bleh... Static talkforme...
STATIC: What the (BLEEP) are you yammering on about, Brandon? We're done here! Show's over folks! SUCK MY VOODOOOOOO!
Terry holds a stack of paper in front of him, and he's stammering. All eyes are on him.
TERRY BRANDON: You see... well everybody, you see, the thing is, as of uh, as of this morning... NAPW ... uh... the thing is, folks, Rex Caliber bet NAPW in a poker game against casino magnate Frank Shapiro. And uh...
...
he lost.
The crowd gasps.
TERRY BRANDON: As such, I am uh, I am still acting commissioner of NAPW, but Rex Caliber... no longer owns New Alberta Pro Wrestling. Not even a sniff. And uh, he can't fire anybody, he can't make any decisions, that is up to me --- and the casino you see, they want to sell NAPW again. But first, they want to make sure that it's in the best shape it can be in. So I am, uh, required to announce right now that... as of this evening, THE BEAST BRUCE RICHARDS is part of the NAPW roster once again!
POP! HUGE POP! The Beast raises his arms, Stone Zellor slapping the man on the shoulder. Rex roars in impotent fury.
TERRY BRANDON: And uh... well, see, it works like this. Rex, I don't know how to tell you this, but the only way you can set foot at an NAPW event again is to do so... as a wrestler. And as a wrestler, Rex, I'm required to tell you that on August 21st, RIGHT here in Calgary... you will be in action. Singles action. One-on-one ---
REX CALIBER: Spit it out, Brandon! Before I knock your block off!
TERRY BRANDON: On August 21st, 2007, it will be REX CALIBER... versus...
RAVAGERRRRRRRR!
HOLY SHIT! CRAZY POP! And Ravager, can you believe it? That's a genuine honest to God SMILE on his face. An ugly, uncomfortable thing, but nonetheless, a smile. Caliber freaks out, throwing a tantrum as LDK and Darko attempt to hold him back. Static is cursing up a blue storm.
TERRY BRANDON: Hold on, I've been ordered to make just a few more announcements tonight... Rex, I would change things, but I... August 21st will be THE CRIMES vs The World, and everybody on this floor can expect to be in action! Including YOU Static... vs Jeff James! Hell, Foundation, if you got the guts, why don't you make an appearance as well? But the last thing I have to announce is this...
I uh, on August 28th in Edmonton, we will hold an event. An event called COMPLETE CONTROL II. Last year, it was War Games... some of you were even in that match...
Ravager, LDK, Chris Casino, Static...
TERRY BRANDON: In the main event we will have a TEN-MAN CAGE OF DEATH MATCH-UP, WAR GAMES STYLE! It will be THE CRIMES... versus... RAVAGER! STONE ZELLOR! JEFF JAMES! THE BEAAAAAST... and CHRIS CASINO! Mr. Shapiro has said this Rex --- if your team wins this match, he'll give you NAPW back! But that's your only chance! This is how it is! August 21st...REX CALIBER VS RAVAGER II! Seven days later, August 28th... CRIMES vs THE WORLD --- CAGE OF DEATH!
The crowd is buzzing with excitement. Reactions are varied. The Crimes aren't happy... that's for sure... but in the ring?
Casino. Ravager. The Beast. Stone. James. Link.
Oh, you better believe they're loving it.
Welcome to endgame.