Seattle, Washington, in the historic Eagle's Hall - the first Eagle's Hall in the USA, to be exact. And tonight it is home to New Alberta Pro Wrestling, bringing in six-hundredPLUS wrestling fans for what promises to be one of the most exciting nights in NAPW history! Fans are at the merchandise table where wrestlers like "The Show" Chad Kurtis, Dez Carter, Simply Beautiful and the former World Champ Ravager are shaking hands and signing autographs. The ring is ready, it's just a matter of time...
Lights out! The crowd goes crazy as heavy metal plays through the PA.
BILL HEWSON: Ladies and gentlemen, we are in Seattle Washington for NAPW's Lethal Lottery II card! Tonight, 16 wrestlers compete for a guaranteed shot at the NAPW World Title, which will be decided in our main event as Donovan Astros defends against THE BEAST! I'm Bill Hewson with Jack "Attack" Jones!
JACK JONES: What an atmosphere here in Seattle, it almost makes up for the damn rain. Tossed salads and scrambled eggs are good here, though.
BILL HEWSON: Here's how tonight works. 16 wrestlers were randomly paired off into tag teams. We will have four tag matches. These random teams need to work together, because every team that wins will enter into the BATTLEBOWL later tonight, and over-the-top-rope battle royale. The winner of that will receive the Battlebowl ring and a guaranteed NAPW title shot anytime he chooses.
JACK JONES: I can't believe it took The Beast this long to use HIS Battlebowl shot! He won it a YEAR ago!
BILL HEWSON: And tonight he looks to put an end to the Worldwide Astrocide! Plus, the Heritage title will be on the line... but let's get to our first match of the evening. Take it away, Frank!
FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is part of the Lethal Lottery, and is scheduled for one fall! And, it will be contested under SUPERSTAR RULES!
The fans in Eagle's Hall pop for that, and then a familiar AC/DC guitar riff hits the speakers.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, from Beaver Creek, Yukon, weighing in at two hundred and seventy eight pounds, he is YUKON GOLD!
A sizable pop for the relative newcomer to NAPW. The big man is in the ring and awaiting his tag team partner for the night. Man in the Box is playing, meaning only one thing...
FRANK WARBURTON: And his partner, from Napier, New Zealand, weighing in at one hundred and eighty pounds, LINK VAN HAGGARD!
Another decent pop, but things are about to get louder in here.
WE FALL, WE FALL
FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents! First, from St. Paul, Minnesota, weighing in at two hundred and fifty four pounds, he is one half of the NAPW tag team champions, he is SUPERSTAR TOMMY DEATHROW!
A huge pop for the Superstar, who stops just before getting into the ring. Faith No More brings out his tag team partner.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his partner, and co holder of the NAPW tag team championship! From Fort Lauderdale, Florida, weighing in at two hundred and eighty nine pounds, he is THE MURDER CITY DEVIL, JAKE PHOENIX!
The tag champs enter the ring and stare down their opponents. Referee John Sharplin tries to step between them, but there is a lot of size and intensity in the ring right now.
BILL HEWSON: Tag titles are not on the line here, folks! The winners of this match advance to the Battlebowl. The losers have to wait for another opportunity...
JACK JONES: But under SUPERSTAR rules, who knows if either team will be able to compete in Battlebowl?
Sharplin calls for the bell, and both teams lay into each other! Yukon Gold and Jake Phoenix trade stiff shots, while Deathrow takes Van Haggard over the top rope to the floor. Phoenix whips Gold into the ropes, then hits him with a clothesline! Yukon Gold does not go down! Gold hits the ropes, and comes back with a running shoulder block! Phoenix does not go down! Both men hit the ropes, then collide into each other with a double clothesline! Both men go down! Outside the ring, Deathrow and Van Haggard are slugging it out near the announcers table...
JACK JONES: These guys are too close for my liking...
BILL HEWSON: Don't worry Jack, we'll be... Never mind.
Van Haggard gets an uppercut to Deathrow, stunning the Superstar. He climbs on the announcers table, and leaps off to hit Deathrow with a Kenta knee! Deathrow is down, and Van Haggard takes a beer from one of the fans! He chugs, then goes to follow up on Deathrow...
Deathrow with the Sweaty Ball Claw! Van Haggard is stunned (not enough to drop his drink though) and Deathrow is given a chance to follow up.. no, now he has a beer. And chugs. He gets a right on Van Haggard. Link staggers back, chugs back some beer, and responds with a shot of his own. Deathrow staggers, chugs, and follows up with another hard shot. Van Haggard staggers... and realizes he's out of beer. Deathrow is out as well. The two men glare at each other, and Van Haggard charges, taking Deathrow over the guard rail with a clothesline!
In the ring, Phoenix and Yukon Gold are up. Phoenix hits a short line clothesline on Gold, taking him down. He hits the ropes, and comes back with an elbow drop, and goes for a cover. He gets a one count, as Gold is not nearly finished yet. Phoenix tries to set up for a chokeslam, but Gold hits a boot to the gut, and goes for a back breaker. Phoenix powers out of the attempt, and lifts up Gold for a powerslam! Gold slips out of the move, and locks on a headlock. Phoenix pushes Gold into the ropes, Gold runs back into a big boot! Yukon Gold is down! But before Phoenix can capitalize, Link Van Haggard is on the top rope, and hits the big man with a flying leg lariat! ... Or tries. Phoenix catches his smaller opponent, and plants him with a chokeslam!
JACK JONES: Link Van Haggard just got flattened! I know he wanted to save his partner, but that was foolish!
BILL HEWSON: He kept his team alive, but for how long?
Phoenix goes for the cover, but the pin is broken up by Yukon Gold. Deathrow is back in the ring, and he pounces on Gold, managing to lock him into Total Non Stop Tommy! Gold's head driven into the mat, as Phoenix picks up Van Haggard and looks to plant him again... Van Haggard with a rollup! Sharplin counts! One... Two... Phoenix kicks out, surprised and ANGRY. He NAILS Van Haggard with a clothesline that nearly takes the Kiwi out of his boots. Yukon Gold is dazed from the TNT, so not ready to fight off the Camel Clutch Tommy applies. Phoenix covers Van Haggard, who has barely moved since the clothesline.
One!
Two!
Thr- Van Haggard somehow kicks out! Phoenix is surprised to say the least. He drags Van Haggard back up, and flings him into the corner turnbuckle, and lays in with repeated punches. Meanwhile, Yukon Gold is showing signs of life, as he powers out of the camel clutch, and backs Deathrow into the corner turnbuckle! Deathrow is nearly squashed by the big man, and is planted crushed by a lariat! Gold with the cover! One... Two... Deathrow kicks out! Gold doesn't look too surprised, but he was hoping for the best with that shot. Deathrow is slow to his feet, but when he is up, he gets taken over the top rope to the floor with a big boot! Gold follows, and the two men brawl into the crowd. Phoenix has a limp Van Haggard in the corner, and he sets him up for a powerslam! He gets him up on his shoulders, and gets ready to drive him into the mat, but Van Haggard has a hold of the ropes, and won't let go. Phoenix tries to pull him off, but Van Haggard clutches on with all the strength he has left. Phoenix pulls back as hard as he can, and Van Haggard lets go! Phoenix is caught off guard and loses his balance, falling back, with Van Haggard on top for a pin! One.. Two... Phoenix kicks out with authority! He is quick to his feet, but so is Van Haggard, who hits a swinging neck breaker on the big man! He covers! One... Two... Phoenix kicks out, without the authority of before! Van Haggard has his second wind here, and he goes to the top, and catches Phoenix with a flying dropkick! A cover!
One!
Two!
Phoenix kicks out with authority, launching Haggard feet away! Van Haggard looks frustrated!
JACK JONES: Van Haggard has some devastating moves in his arsenal, but there's not a lot that he'll hit on a man a hundred pounds heavier than him!
Indeed, van Haggard tries for the WTF, but Phoenix is too heavy. Meanwhile, outside the ring, Deathrow has managed to take back some control from Yukon Gold! A stiff shot to the, shall we say, "nether regions", and Gold is down to one knee. Deathrow lines up his opponent, and comes at him with a stiff kick to the head! Gold is down, and Deathrow is handed another beer from a fan! He gets ready to chug it back, but his arm is grabbed.
BILL HEWSON: Fans, never put your hands on the wrestlers...
JACK JONES: THAT'S NO FAN!
No.
SICK BILLY KRYENIK!
Deathrow sees who grabbed him. His eyes go wide, and he unloads with rights. Kryenik responds in kind, and the former Doomriders brawl deep into the crowd. Security arrives, but is not enough to break up Deathrow and Kryenik. Meanwhile, back in the ring. Van Haggard is back to the top rope, and he dives off with his Bullet in the Blue Sky! This would finish it, if Phoenix hadn't moved. Van Haggard crashes to the mat, and the Murder City Devil capitalizes. He scoops Van Haggard up, and prepares for the Tombstone Piledriver! He looks ready to collapse all of Link's vertebrae...
YUKON GOLD IS IN FOR THE SAVE! A boot to the face causes Phoenix to drop Van Haggard, who hits the mat and rolls to the floor. Phoenix is back up, and hits a clothesline on Gold, taking the big man down! he covers! One.. Two... Gold kicks out! Phoenix picks the big man up, looking to slam him to the mat, Gold with a roll up! One... Two... Phoenix kicks out! Both men lay into each other with forearm shots, neither man willing to go down. Phoenix with one final shot that knocks Gold into the ropes. Phoenix reaches back to hit one last shot..
CRACK!
Van Haggard is back in the ring, and he has a steel chair, which he just smacked Phoenix across the back with!
BILL HEWSON: SUPERSTAR rules still in effect here!
Phoenix turns around, to attack Link...
CRACK!
The chair is brought down on Phoenix's head! Link with two more quick shots, but Phoenix does not go down. The big man is staggering, Van Haggard drops the chair to the mat, and Yukon Gold with The Gold Rush ONTO THE CHAIR! Gold covers and hooks the leg!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
BILL HEWSON: WHAT AN UPSET!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners: YUKON GOLD and LINK VAN HAGGARD!
The fans are in shock at this. Jake Phoenix rolls out of the ring... He's holding his head in pain, but his eyes hold only one color:
Anger.
BILL HEWSON: These two men, Yukon Gold and Link Van Haggard, have scored a pinfall over the NAPW tag team champions. That has to put Yukon's team Northwest Express into title contention, heck, even Link if he finds a partner.
JACK JONES: Who would want to tag with that yahoo?
BILL HEWSON: For a shot at tag gold, men would --- wait a second! That's --- that's Odyssey Baldwin! Oh my gosh, he just hit Yukon Gold with a steel chair! What in the hell?!
What INDEED. The youngest Baldwin brother has sent Yukon to the canvas with a pearl harbor style attack! Link tries to rush Odyssey, only to get dumped to the outside hard. Link may be hurt! In the ring, Odyssey is tapping the canvas waiting for Yukon to get up... Yukon is busted wide open!
Randy London! "The North Star" grabs the chair from Odyssey, saving his Northwest Express tag team partner! London firing on Odyssey, to the ropes, spinning heel kick! London picks up Haggard, Railroad DDT coming up ---
CRACK
JACK JONES: HOLY HELL!
BILL HEWSON: What in the --- what --- LINK VAN HAGGARD JUST HIT LONDON WITH A STEEL CHAIR! What in God's name is he doing --- Link Van Haggard and Odyssey Baldwin are leaving the ring together, they've done their damage! Are we looking at a new tag team here in NAPW?
JACK JONES: I'd say yes, and AWESOME.
BILL HEWSON: Hopefully we can get some answers on this. Link Van Haggard and Yukon Gold move onto Battlebowl, but I don't think they'll be working together to get to the end now!
Haggard and Odyssey are at the curtain, Haggard wears a new expression on his face. A dark one. In the ring Northwest Express are getting to their feet, a little worse for wear... there's a score to settle here!
FRANK WARBURTON: The following Lethal Lottery contest is set for one fall with a twenty minute time limit!
"Electric Worry" by Clutch starts playing, and the crowd starts booing.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing team number one, first, from The Shadows, weighing in at two hundred ninety-nine pounds, here is... AL... B... DAMNED!
BILL HEWSON: Al B. Damned is making his way to the ring and think about this, Jack, he's had less time in the ring than Ravager, one half of the opposing team in this match, has had without the title belt in 2007.
JACK JONES: It's going to be a trial by fire for Al here tonight, but he looks confident!
Anything could be further from the truth, though as the red and black facepaint on Al's face barely hides the nervousness. He isn't helped all that much when the music changes...
THUNDER! THUNDER!
It's "Thunderstruck", and the crowd is on its feet as Randy London comes out, shaking off the cheap shot from earlier.
FRANK WARBURTON: His tag team partner, from Yellowknife, Northwest Territory, Canada, weighing in at two hundred twenty-eight pounds, "The North Star"... RANDYYYY... LOOONDOOOON!
BILL HEWSON: Randy London talked a great game all week about getting along with Al B. Damned, but after that vicious chairshot from Link Van Haggard earlier tonight, we'll see if he can live up to his words in this match.
JACK JONES: If anyone can make it work, Al B. Damned can, Bill!
BILL HEWSON: I don't think he's going to be doing much of anything in this match, let alone working out team dynamics.
"Frankenstein" by the Edgar Winters Band starts playing, and the crowd has a very mixed reaction.
FRANK WARBURTON: And introducing team number two, first, from Salmon River, British Columbia, weighing in at two hundred sixty-two pounds, here is KEVINNNN KODIAAAAK!
Kodiak walks to the ring, getting more boos here in Seattle than he might in Alberta. Lumberjacks just aren't popular in the eco-conscious town.
JACK JONES: Kevin Kodiak's the luckiest man in Seattle tonight, Bill! He gets to team with Ravager and he's facing off against a rookie and an unknown!
BILL HEWSON: Kodiak certainly has the luck of the draw here tonight, but don't sell Randy London short. Even with Van Haggard's selfish outburst earlier, he's got the skills to win this match, but with Al B. Damned as his partner, he just may be in over his head tonight.
Kodiak stands at ringside while Al B. Damned and Randy London wait inside the ring...
PATH.
The crowd goes crazy as Ravager stands in the entranceway.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his tag team partner, from Brooklyn, New York, weighing two hundred ten pounds, THIS... IS... RAVAGERRRRRRRRRRR!
BILL HEWSON: If you caught the look between Ravager and Kevin Kodiak, I don't think there's the same trust level there as there is on the other side of the ring.
JACK JONES: Of course not. In Ravager's mind, everyone, even Kevin Kodiak, is gunning for him. Meanwhile, both London and Al are looking for the biggest win of their lives!
Al B. Damned has already scurried to the apron at his team's corner. Ravager and Kodiak hesitate deciding who will start the match. Referee John Sharplin heads to the corner to break up the conference, when Kodiak bellows out "I got this!" and holds the ropes open for Ravager. Grumbling, Ravager steps through and grabs a hold of the tag rope. Sharplin calls for the bell and we're underway. Kodiak and London size each other up from their respective corners, then move to the center of the ring and lock up. Kodiak's power advantage shows through as he shoves London back to the canvas! London shakes his head and stands back up, trying to knock the cobwebs out. London moves back in for another lockup and this time Kodiak scoops him up and slams him back to the canvas! The lumberjack bellows out a victory yell as London gathers himself back up and gets to his feet.
BILL HEWSON: Much like the Battle Royal three weeks ago, in the early going here, Kevin Kodiak's power is just too much for London to handle.
JACK JONES: If he's really hurt, he should tag in Al.
BILL HEWSON: A hurt Randy London at eighty percent probably still gives his team a better chance to move on to Battlebowl than Al B. Damned at one hundred percent!
London appears to feel the same way as he's retreated back to his corner, but does not make the tag out. Back to the center of the ring where Kevin Kodiak is daring him to lock horns again, and London dives in, and under with a go-behind! London reaches his arms around Kodiak for a waistlock. Kodiak looks to escape by backing London into a neutral corner, but London has the wherewithal to drop down between Kodiak's legs, letting Kodiak hurl himself backfirst into the turnbuckles! London stands up, peppering Kodiak with body blows before backing off at John Sharplin's command. Kodiak's stunned in the corner and London rushes in with a spinning heel kick, catching the top rope and landing on the apron! Kodiak staggers out of the corner and falls on the mat!
BILL HEWSON: The North Star shining here, what an athletic move in the corner by London!
JACK JONES: He got lucky, if you take risks like that this early in the match, it's bound to catch up with you sooner or later.
London climbs up to the top rope, but Kodiak is aware enough to scoot over to his corner and tag in Ravager to a big ol' reaction. London hops back into the ring and Ravager and London slap hands before locking up. London grabs a headlock, but Ravager quickly pushes him off into the ropes. On the rebound London takes Ravager down with a shoulder tackle. London hits the opposite ropes, Ravager ducks under the running London and then takes him over with a belly-to-belly suplex on the rebound! Ravager tries to pounce on the fallen London with a stepover toehold, but London's too close to the ropes and hooks his arm around the bottom rope. Ravager gets up, leaving his mark on London with a loud SLAP across his back. London makes his way to his feet snarling at Ravager.
JACK JONES: We've gone from a handshake to a pat on the back!
BILL HEWSON: That was no pat on the back, a thunderous open hand strike has really raised the ire of Randy London.
Ravager leaves a path open for London to tag in Al, but the invitation still isn't accepted as London heads back to the center of the ring. Ravager meets him midring and the two lock up again. London backs Ravager into the corner and Sharplin asks for a clean break. London breaks momentarily, then lays in a stiff chop right across the chest of Ravager! Ravager fires back with a chop of his own! London chops back! Back and forth with chops! Ravager gets the advantage and chops London all the way from one corner to the other! London covers up in the corner and John Sharplin moves in to break things up. Ravager backs off and appeals to the crowd as London moves over to his corner and makes the tag to Al B. Damned. Ravager yells out at the opposing corner for Al to "Come on in!"
BILL HEWSON: Ravager is ready to teach the big man a lesson!
JACK JONES: This is not the situation London and Al wanted to be in!
Ravager waits in the middle of the ring as Al tentatively climbs through the ropes. Al gathers himself and charges in, right into a drop toehold from Ravager! Ravager gives no quarter and moves right in, cinching in a rear chinlock on Al, leaning back and putting the pressure on Al's neck. Al gets to his knees, though, and to his feet, muscling Ravager up in a side suplex with shocking precision! It's even got Randy London clapping on the apron. Ravager's back up and shaking his head. Al's kind of celebrating his good fortune when Ravager walks up and chops Al so hard he drops the big man to one knee! Kicks to the plant leg drop Al to his knees! Ravager goes behind... and a stiff chop across the shoulderblades drops Al to the mat! Ravager pulls him on his back! The cover!
One...
Two...
JACK JONES: And a kickout by Al with force, he's still got a lot of gas in the tank!
BILL HEWSON: He's only pulled off one move so far, Jack, that shouldn't surprise you.
Ravager's not waiting for Al to get his bearings, as he grabs Al's arm and pulls him onto his stomach once again. Ravager gets a stepover toehold on Al and bends down... cinching in the Garrote! Center of the ring! Ravager looking to test the resolve of the rookie early in this match! Al looking for ropes, looking for help! And it comes in the form of Randy London stepping into the ring...
WHACK!
London chops Ravager right in the small of the back, returning the favor from earlier! Kodiak's in! Kodiak and London trading blows! John Sharplin trying to get the extracurriculars under control and everyone out of the ring! Ravager up, attacking London as well...
LOW BLOW BY AL ON RAVAGER! Ravager crumples to the mat! Al covers, the referee turns around!
One...
Two...
Kodiak back over and stomps right on Al's head to break the cover!
BILL HEWSON: The referee is quickly losing control of this match, and all four men have to be careful of this thing getting thrown out. If that happens, none of these men make the Battlebowl finals!
JACK JONES: Look out!
Look out indeed, as Randy London has dumped Kevin Kodiak over the top rope in front of the announce table! London ascends the top turnbuckle... NO WAY... NORTH STAR PRESS TO THE FLOOR! Picture perfect! But in the ring, London's partner has problems of his own as Al B. Damned is trapped by Ravager...
KATA HA JIME. That kick to the head has left Al loopy and Ravager's trying to sink the choke in and bring the big man down! John Sharplin is checking, asking Al if he wants to quit! London's trying to recover on the floor! Al reaching for ropes, for life, but all he can grab is John Sharplin's shirt! The crowd is screaming out for Al to tap out! Al's got a better idea, though, as he catches a hold of Sharplin's shirt and jumps, landing back first, squishing Ravager and breaking the hold! Ravager's hurt! Al rolls over to the ropes! Sharplin's down from the impact!
BILL HEWSON: This is the break that London and Al needed! Kodiak is on the floor right in front of us and hurt bad! It's two on one!
JACK JONES: Make it three on one!
Jack is right and the crowd's booing as Sebastien Martyr has made his way out, trying to talk his partner in The Damned through this situation. Al struggles to his feet first, but Ravager's up as well! Martyr in the ring as well, but Ravager sees him! Martyr yells out to Al to save him! Ravager closes the gap...
Until Al's hand closes around Ravager's throat! Ravager fighting back as Martyr SCREAMS at Al to lift him up and drop him down! Elbows by Ravager to the back of the head! Al loses his grip... DDT BY RAVAGER! Al's down! Martyr backing off, but there's nowhere to go! Martyr punches! Blocked by Ravager! HEADBUTT BY RAVAGER! Martyr's stunned! DDT! Ravager trying to wake up John Sharplin...
We've got trouble hopping the guardrail.
JACK JONES: HE'S BACK! Lloyd Rees is back!
BILL HEWSON: This just isn't right! Rees is sliding into the ring, Ravager doesn't see him! Come on!
The crowd is booing madly, but it's not going to help Ravager now. Rees grabs Ravager's shoulder and Ravager turns around right into a well-placed LDK boot to the gut. Rees folds Ravager and lifts him up...
NISH. J. DROP.
Martyr staggers to his feet and him and Rees drag the unconscious Al B. Damned on top of Ravager. Rees slides back out of the ring. Martyr works to wake up Sharplin. Not this way. Sharplin crawls over and checks the shoulders. Kodiak's stirring on the outside!
One...
Kodiak's halfway in the ring, but London's got his legs!
Two...................
Kodiak can't break free! He's just a few feet away... but it might as well be a mile.
Three!!!!!!!
Al B. Damned has just pinned Ravager. An hour from now when he wakes up, he might get a chance to celebrate it.
FRANK WARBURTON: Your winners, moving on to Battlebowl... AL B. DAMNED AND RANDYYYYYYYY LONNNDONNNNNNNNN!
The crowd is silent, trying to wrap their heads around what's just happened. As Martyr helps Al up, the silence turns to loud boos.
JACK JONES: He did it! Al did it!
BILL HEWSON: Lloyd Rees has just stolen a title opportunity away from Ravager. I am in absolute shock.
JACK JONES: Al B. Damned beat Ravager! He's going to Battlebowl! And Ravager is NOT!
BILL HEWSON: Yes, you can add Al B. Damned and Randy London to the Battlebowl finals, but they have Lloyd Rees to thank, and Lloyd Rees has hell to pay.
JACK JONES: And it was only then that I realized the thief was none other than Miss Vanessa Fotherington-Worstcestershire, sixteenth Duchess of Hemmingsdale. Yes, the thief and the victim were one and the same.
BILL HEWSON: Jack, I can honestly say that is the strangest thing I have ever heard you say.
JACK JONES: I have a standard to keep up!
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team competition scheduled for one fall, and is round two of the Lethal Lottery round robin tournament. Introducing first, from Manhattan, New York, Murcielago. And his partner, accompanied by the Reverend Al B. Damned, Sebastien Martyr!
The three men, decidedly not fan-favourites, make their way down to the ring, sneers on their faces, the booing of the fans rolling off their backs like a gentle rain. Sebastien Martyr looks like he's going to smack the tar out of a particularly vocal child in the front row, but thinks better of it and climbs into the ring instead.
FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents. From Windsor, Ontario, "Sick" Billy Kryenik. And his partner, from Wickliffe, Kentucky, accompanied by Mandy, "The American Nightmare" Matthew Kurtis!
Kurtis and Kryenik come down to the ring, and they make uneasy partners at best. Kurtis stares daggers at SBK, while Kryenik ignores every sneer and focuses on the two men in the ring. Mandy, meanwhile, tries awkwardly to keep up with Matt Kurtis, while smiling blankly like the eye candy she is.
BILL HEWSON: With competitors like these four, the audience will be hard pressed to find a wrestler to cheer for.
JACK JONES: What are you talking about? I'm having a hard time figuring out who I want to LOSE! As far as I'm concerned, all four of these men have what it takes to make it to the BattleBowl!
Four men, two corners. Martyr and Murceliago, Kurtis and Kryenik. Sebastien Martyr starts off for his team, and Matthew Kurtis is looking to start off the mach but Kryenik pushes past him and stands in the center of the ring. He looks back and sneers at a LIVID Matthew Kurtis, who angrily steps behind the ropes. Referee John Sharplin reminds the competitors of the rules, but before he finishes Kryenik charges at Martyr with a short arm clothesline, catching him off-guard and putting him to the ground. Sharplin signals for the bell and the match is officially started!
JACK JONES: What great strategy from Billy Kryenik!
Kryenik kicks Martyr in the side while he's down, and then tries to go in for a Halo, but Murcielago rushes in and kicks Kryenik in the back before it's locked in. Sharplin gets in between the two men, and Murcielago brushes him off and saunters back to his corner, but not before giving Martyr enough time to get to his feet and thumb Kryenik in the eye. Sharplin turns around just in time to see Martyr take Kryenik to the ground with a quick DDT, and now it's Martyr's turn to kick the opponent when he's down. Matt Kurtis, against his better judgement, tries to come in and break up the melee, but Sharplin rushes quickly to the corner and stops him from interfering. Kurtis is angry and starts arguing with the Senior Referee, and Murcielago takes advantage of the distraction to climb back into the ring. Martyr holds Kryenik in a full nelson hold, and Murcielago gets one, two, three, four good chops in before Sharplin realizes what's happening and turns around. As Murcielago, grinning, makes his way back to his corner, Martyr plants Kryenik on the mat face-first with The Prestige. He's grinning like a madman now, picking Kryenik up and whipping him into the far ropes, and Murcielago lifts his knee and connects with Kryenik's kidneys! Kryenik falls to the mat again, and now the crowd is booing Martyr as he flips Matthew Kurtis the finger! Kurtis is foaming at the mouth, saying things to Sebastien Martyr that would make a sailor blush, but it's all water off Martyr's back...until he turns around to a BLISTERING right hook from Kryenik!
JACK JONES: Did you see that, Hewson? That punch nearly took Martyr's HEAD off!
BILL HEWSON: It'd be an improvement if you ask me.
Both men are on the ground, hurting, and Kryenik is desperately trying to make it back to their corners for the tag. Martyr, close to his corner, struggles to get to his knees, and somehow stretches far enough to connect with Murcielago's outstretched right hand, but not before Kryenik makes the tag to Matthew Kurtis! And the Angry American lives up to his nickname! He charges to his opponents's corner, flooring Murcielago with a Clothesline from Hell, then lifting him up again for a Spinning Side Slam! Martyr, having caught a little bit of a breath, comes in to double-team Kurtis, but Kurtis spins around just in time and grabs Martyr with both arms! SPINEBUSTER! Matthew Kurtis is standing in the middle of the ring, both opponents on their backs, and covers Murcielago, one, two, kickout by Murcielago, who took advantage of the breather that Martyr gave him. Kurtis pulls Murcielago to his feet, then BANG! Hard right chop to the chest. He follows it up with another, and another, then HURLS Murcielago at a far turnbuckle. He's setting up for another clothesline, but Kryenik slaps him on the back! Billy Kryenik has just tagged himself back into this match! Matthew Kurtis is angry, and starts arguing with his partner, but John Sharplin gets between them and indicates that since contact was made, Kryenik is the legal man. He struts over to Murcielago, and connects with a chop on Murcielago's reddened chest. But Murcielago comes back with a chop of his own! Kryenik responds with another, and Murcielago pays that back in kind! Kryenik! Murcielago! Kryenik! Murcielago! MARTYR?!?! Sebastien Martyr comes at Kryenik from behind with a chop block, bringing SBK to his knees, and Murcielago grabs SBK's head and slams it into his knee! Matthew Kurtis is FURIOUS and charges into the ring, but Martyr and Murcielago were ready for him. They both hook his arms and dump him outside with a double arm drag! Matthew Kurtis hits the ground HARD, his eyes rolling back hin his head, and now SBK's alone in the ring with M and M! Martyr locks up with Kryenik and sets him up for the The Sacrifice! Kryenik hits the ground HARD but pops right back up, nearly unconscious but fighting on instinct -- DEFCON 1! MURCIELAGO HITS DEFCON 1! Here's the cover! One! Kurtis is struggling to get back into the ring but Al B. Damned is holding on to his leg! Two! Kurtis finally kicks Damned to the curb but it's too late! THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners, Sebastien Martyr and Murcielago!
Murcielago and Martyr quickly leave the ring as Kurtis scrambles to get inside, and they help Al B. Damned to his feet and up towards the back, all three men happy to have gotten into the BattleBowl. Kurtis approaches Kryenik, who's bloody and struggling to get to his feet, and starts screaming at him that he lost them the match. Kryenik, punch-drunk but not completely out of it, smiles and spits at The Angry American! Kurtis, covered in blood and spit, roars at Kryenik and grabs him! BLUEGRASS BOMB WITH AUTHORITY! Kurtis wipes his face and exits the ring, leaving a well-tenderized Kryenik unconscious in the middle of the ring!
BILL HEWSON: Well, I might not agree with Kurtis's methods, but Billy Kryenik deserved a little comeuppance for his display tonight.
JACK JONES: What are you talking about Kryenik for! You should be focusing on the latest entrants in the BattleBowl! Murcielago and Sebastien Martyr! If only both of them could somehow win...
Josh Reynolds is joined at ringside by a newcomer. This man is wearing a black NAPW t-shirt.
JOSH REYNOLDS: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a newcomer to New Alberta Pro-Wrestling. An ex-boxer from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Stefan "The Terminator" Taylor. Now, Stefan, I need to ask... what brings you to NAPW?
STEFAN TAYLOR: Mr. Reynolds. The answer to that is a simple one. You saw my boxing record. I'm in search of a challenge and professional wrestling is the greatest challenge. I am determined to see how I match up as a competitor to these other wrestlers, and I am determined to bring home some championship gold. Whether it is the coveted Canadian Heritage title or the World title. Championship gold means more money, and more money means better living for my family and I.
JOSH REYNOLDS: You've already been scheduled to compete on the Hostile Hangover II weekend on September 28th and 29th in British Columbia. First, in a Four Corner survival with Jeff James or Stone Zellor, Dez Carter and Odyssey Baldwin. And secondly, a singles contest with Jeff James. Your thoughts?
STEFAN TAYLOR: Night One is going to be tough. I have not wrestled a single match in a professional wrestling and my first match, inside the squared circle, is with three other men. It will be difficult, but I am here for a challenge.
JOSH REYNOLDS: And Night Two?
STEFAN TAYLOR: Jeff James is a very unorthodox competitor and it will be a great challenge. Especially if he captures the Heritage title later on tonight. I've already studied some tapes and I am in the process of developing a counter to his James Effect finishing move. He will not be able to hit me with it, I guarantee you that!
JOSH REYNOLDS: Thank you. Stefan Taylor, ladies and gentlemen!
Taylor's music hits and he walks out, glad-handing fans on the way.
JACK JONES: ... but if you can't pay, you don't play!
BILL HEWSON: Fair enough I suppose, but your own mother?
JACK JONES: Hey, mom can get a job!
FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is a Lethal Lottery tag team match.
LYNYRD SKYNYRD BABY! But the crowd doesn't react as they should. Is the home of Grunge Rock hating on the southern rock legends? Nope... just hating on the man who walks through the curtain. Jeff Garvin enters the arena with his manager Julie Malone-Garvin, who gives him a hug and leaves the ringside area. Garvin must not want her around Simply Beautiful. The boos reign in but Jeff Garvin doesn't care.. he is an ORIGINAL BABY!
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, from Memphis, Tennessee. He weighs in at two hundred forty one and one half pounds... "THE ORIGINAL" JEFF GARVIN!
BILL HEWSON: I really don't see how in the world SB and Garvin will coexist. This is going to be crazy...
STONE COLD CRAZY? Perhaps, but on any account that song begins to play. Simply Beautiful gets a great ovation and is pumped up. He enters the ring and gets in the face of his partner. The tension is thicker than Jack Jones musky cologne!
FRANK WARBURTON: And his Lethal Lottery tag team partner. Wrestling out of Staten Island, New York. He weighed in at two hundred thirty five pounds. SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL!
JACK JONES: The bad luck that Jeff Garvin has. I hate to do this, but I'm picking Dez and Chad... UNLESS..
BILL HEWSON: Unless what?
JACK JONES: Unless Garvin knocks Simply Beautiful out now, and wrestles a handicapped match. Besides that, and Super Man coming to help him, I don't think he stands a chance with SB holding him down!
COCKY! Kid Rock's over confident anthem rocks the Eagle's Hall. The former Television Champ, the Last Action! Hero, The Prime Time Player, The SHOW! He has more nick names than Rex Caliber, but by God he has earned them! Chad Kurtis enters the arena and the crowd goes nuts. The place lets him know how much they love him.
FRANK WARBURTON: And the opponents. First from Paducah, Kentucky. Weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds, "THE SHOW" CHAD KURTIS!
TWINKLE TWINKLE! No this isn't Vince Vaughn in "Be Cool", this is Dez Carter walking out to screaming fans. Azuka accompanies him to the ring as always. He slaps hands with the fans, who are glad that Dez Carter is once again plying his trade in a NAPW ring. He enters the ring, bumping knuckles with Chad Kurtis.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his Lethal Lottery partner. Accompanied by Azuka Katsuragi. From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, he weighed in at two hundred forty six pounds: DEZ CARTER.
Morgan Smythe calls for the bell. "The Original" Jeff Garvin decides to start for his team, ignoring Simply Beautiful's plea. Dez Carter and "The Show" Chad Kurtis decide together, and let the quicker Chad Kurtis start. The bell sounds and Chad quickly shoots at Jeff Garvin. Garvin doesn't seem to notice, as he was jawing with SB. Chad takes him down with ease. Chad up quickly, dropping a Spinning Leg Drop on Jeff Garvin. Chad with a cover already. One is all that Morgan Smythe gets to count. Garvin battles up, making sure Chad gets no other chances to do any damage. Garvin whips Kurtis into the Garvin slash SB corner. Chad hits hard, and steps forward just a tad. RUNNING STO FROM JEFF GARVIN. Garvin yells at Simply Beautiful, "That's how it's done DAMNIT" Garvin wasted to much time, and after a pinfall attempt, only gets a one count.
BILL HEWSON: Whoa, what intensity from Garvin. But he couldn't finish off "The Show."
JACK JONES: Simply Beautiful is simply a thorn in Garvin's side. How can you win a match with a two hundred thirty pound thorn in your side? HOW?
Simply Beautiful asks sarcastically, "What Happened?" and is tagged in, via a slap to the chest. SB doesn't seem amused, but enters the ring anyways. Chad Kurtis stands up and gets a High Drop Kick to the face. Chad gets knocked backwards and rolls into his corner. He tags in Dez Carter, and all of a sudden it's October of Two Thousand Six, and the Pure Honor Cup is on the line! Maybe not, but anyone who remembers those matches, remembers how very competitive they were. Simply Beautiful ties up with Dez Carter, collar and elbow style. Dez Carter is grabbed into a side headlock. Dez quickly reverses it, shooting SB into the ropes. Simply Beautiful rebounds back to Dez, receiving a ROARING ELBOW! Simply Beautiful holds his mouth, while laying on the ground. He remembers those elbows from last year for sure. He didn't like them anymore now! Dez Carter allows Simply Beautiful to tag out.
JACK JONES: Now comes the man who do something against Carter...
BILL HEWSON: What do you have against Simply Beautiful?
JACK JONES: Besides the fact that his cheek bones are perfect?
BILL HEWSON: NEVERMIND!
"The Original" comes in, and remember... there's not another Jeff Garvin. Some people believe that's a good thing! Dez tells Jeff to bring it. Asuka is cheering on her man. Jeff tries to tie up with Dez but receives a palm strike to the chest. Dez follows it up with the collar and elbow tie up that Jeff was looking forward. Dez backs Garvin into a neutral corner. Dez breaks clean from the tie up, by the orders of Morgan Smythe. But then Dez nails a WOOOO KNIFE EDGE CHOP! Garvin doesn't like that, and throws Dez into the corner, giving him a WOOO CHOP OF HIS OWN! Dez throws Garvin back into the corner, and WOOO...WOOO....WOOOO...WOOO....WOOOO....WOOOOOO! Garvin's chest looks like hamburger meat after six plus chops from the Puroresu master, Dez Carter. Carter lets Garvin get out of the corner a tad bit, but then gives a leg kick to the outer left thigh of Garvin. Another one! AND ANOTHER! Garvin is down to his knees. Dez Carter with a double boot to the face of Garvin. He pulls Garvin to his corner and tags in "The Show"!
BILL HEWSON: Dez Carter looks better than ever! We are glad he is back!
JACK JONES: Speak for yourself... though I do enjoy seeing Asuka again. Think she will dump him for me?
BILL HEWSON: I'm not gracing that with an answer.
Garvin is laid out, and BEST MOONSAULT EVER FROM "THE SHOW"! He goes for the cover. One... Two... No cigar, Garvin with a foot on the rope. Simply Beautiful is dying to get in. He wants his shot at the Battle Bowl! Chad Kurtis doesn't let up and SHOOTING STAR PRESS...FROM A STANDING POSITION! Another cover, but Simply Beautiful comes in quickly to stop him, big time double ax handle smash to "The Show's" head. Morgan Smythe tries to get SB out of the ring. He slides out of the ring, and before he makes his way to the corner, he sees his partner roll up Kurtis. Garvin gets his feet on the ropes, The cover: One, Simply Beautiful knocks Garvin's feet off the ropes! Garvin doesn't look happy AT ALL! Profanity laden insults exchange, as Simply Beautiful makes his way to his corner. Garvin kicks Kurtis in the head, then walks over to SB, slapping him again hard across the chest. Simply Beautiful gets in the ring, grinding his teeth. Simply Beautiful tells Garvin, "If I want to win this match, I'll do it my DAMN SELF!"
BILL HEWSON: Simply Beautiful is looking to take over the match.
JACK JONES: He can take over for you... maybe that's something he can actually do "successfully"!
Simply Beautiful goes over to Chad Kurtis, only to receive an elbow to the midsection courtesy of Chad. Chad bounces off the ropes and nails a Scissor Kick on the bent over SB. Simply Beautiful rises up, trying to catch his breath, and GERMAN SUPLEX! He rolls with it. A SECOND GERMAN SUPLEX! He rolls with it, JEFF GARVIN CLIPS THE KNEE OF CHAD KURTIS! Dez Carter in the ring as a result and ROARING ELBOW TO THE FACE OF JEFF GARVIN! Simply Beautiful tries to get up, and so does Kurtis. ROARING ELBOW ON SIMPLY BEATIFUL, AND "THE SHOW" WITH THE THIRD GERMAN SUPLEX! The roof just lifted off the Eagle's Hall with that move. The cover! ONE.... TWO... GARVIN FOR THE SAVE! He drags SB's limp body to the corner, and tags in. Garvin gets in as Dez Carter tags in on the other side. Garvin fakes a punch to the midsection, only to throw a thumb to the eye of Dez Carter. Morgan Smythe warns him that he could get disqualified for the tactic. Jeff Garvin quickly gets a boot to the midsection of Dez Carter. WILD BOMB! The count... ONE... TWO.... CHAD KURTIS WITH THE SAVE! Dez was kicking out anyways, but Chad wanted to make sure. Battle Bowl is so important. Chad gets back into his corner. On the other side, Simply Beautiful finally rises. Jeff Garvin starts stomping on the ankle of Dez Carter.
JACK JONES: There we go... break it damnit!
BILL HEWSON: You love to see broken bones don't you?
JACK JONES: Well, there's nothing like it from a fan standpoint. You can have your great suplexes, near falls and graceful moves. I'll take a vicious bone snapping any day of the week!
Jeff lays the ankle on the bottom rope, and leaps high in the air, before crashing down boot first. Dez Carter seems to be in immense pain. Garvin drops a knee on it and twists it. Dez grabs the ropes, and Morgan Smythe gets her count all the way to four, before the opportunistic Garvin releases. Asuka yells at Garvin to stop. Garvin grabs the ankle, only to receive the other foot of Dez to the face. Garvin tries to hang on, and receives another. Spit flies from the mouth of Garvin. Dez tries to get his corner and DOES! Tag into Chad Kurtis. Chad is pumped as the crowd goes nuts. Garvin doesn't want any part of the adrenaline filled Kurtis. Garvin tags in Simply Beautiful. Has he recovered fully from the double team move of Kurtis and Carter? "The Show" circles the ring, as does Simply Beautiful. The crowd is standing up, cheering loudly, like it's the final round of a heavyweight title fight.
BILL HEWSON: This an electric atmosphere. You just have to be here to feel it.
JACK JONES: Come on... those fans right there aren't even cheering.
BILL HEWSON: Those are security guards, and the other guy is Frank.
JACK JONES: AND NO CHEERING? Proved my point there, Bill!
They tie up in the middle of the ring. Side head lock taken by Chad Kurtis. Simply Beautiful shoots him off, Kurtis rebounds off the ropes, and hits a shoulder block on Simply Beautiful. Chad bounces off the ropes, and drops an elbow..NOBODY HOME! Simply Beautiful up and waits for Chad... SPIN DOCTOR! The cover, ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Simply Beautiful is not deterred, picking up Chad for AN IMPACT DDT! Simply Beautiful goes up top, but Dez Carter quickly stops any attempt at the New York Nightmare! SB is crotched on the top turnbuckle. Chad Kurtis sees an opening. He runs and jumps at SB... FRANKENSTEINER! WHAT ATHLETICISM SHOWN BY "THE SHOW!" But Chad can't cover! Chad is crawling to his corner. SB is trying to move to his. Who will get there first? Simply Beautiful is in arms reach. Chad Kurtis stretches just enough... TAG MADE TO DEZ CARTER! SB gets his tag just in time. Garvin is in, and Dez goes for a leg kick, only to have the leg caught and be tripped. Dez has the ankle weakened already. Jeff Garvin is no dummy.
BILL HEWSON: I think you might see that broken bone.
JACK JONES: Thank God... I've been good all night!
Jeff Garvin tries to work on it, but INSIDE CRADLE! ONE....TWO... NO! Garvin gets out. Garvin is livid. Garvin goes to pick up Dez Carter... CARTER WITH A FIREMANS CARRY...GO TO SLEEP ON JEFF GARVIN!! DEZ CARTER WITH THE COVER! ONE... TWO... TWO AND THREE THIRDS, BUT SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL SAVES JEFFS ASS!
BILL HEWSON: The match was over. No way Jeff was getting out of that.
JACK JONES: I have to agree, I don't think he could have.
Dez Carter received a vicious forearm shot to the head. Garvin is trying to get up, Simply Beautiful trying to help. Garvin shoves Simply Beautiful... Stating, "I DON'T NEED YOUR DAMN HELP!" The two men stare down in the middle of the ring. Dez Carter finally gets up... Simply Beautiful backs away from Jeff Garvin.... SEXYKICK! SEXYKICK ON.... DEZ CARTER! Simply Beautiful isn't even the legal man. Him and Jeff Garvin just lock eyes, and SB smiles evilly. He shakes hands with Garvin? HE JUST SHOOK THE HAND OF GARVIN! Wait, Garvin shoves SB out of the way, only so Chad Kurtis can miss his drop kick attempt. They pick up Chad and throw him over the top rope, TOGETHER! Team work by the now united SB and Garvin... this is a huge story, that has thousands of questions.
JACK JONES: Totally picking SB and Garvin! Those two are the team of the night.
BILL HEWSON: You have ragged on Simply Beautiful all night and NOW you choose to give him props?
JACK JONES: I was wrong.. forgive a man why don't you!
Dez Carter is laying in the middle of the ring. Jeff Garvin locks on the HEEL HOOK FROM HELL! Simply Beautiful doesn't leave the ring, though, no matter how many times Morgan Smythe tells him too. PAINKILLER ON DEZ CARTER! Double submission holds, and the crowd is booing as loud as it (BLEEP) can. . These people are disgusted with the actions of their once hero Simply Beautiful. Asuka can't do anything but watch in pure terror. She then tries to help Chad get up to help Dez. Dez Carter starts tapping, as Morgan Smythe calls for the bell. She can't get the duo to stop. They are messing up Dez Carter badly. Chad Kurtis is on the outside, laying in a heap. Morgan Smythe continues to try to get them to stop.
FRANK WARBURTON: Jeff Garvin and Simply Beautiful have been DISQUALIFIED! The winners of the match CHAD KURTIS AND DEZ CARTER!
JACK JONES: What the hell? Why are they disqualified?
BILL HEWSON: Simply Beautiful ignored several instructions to leave the ring, and then was given a five count, which he broke. Besides that, they kept on the submission holds after the bell, and Winchell Senior told these referees when he bought NAPW back to protect his investments, the wrestlers. That was what she was doing. Either way, those boys are DQ'ED!
This doesn't set well with Simply Beautiful or Garvin. They release the hold... Garvin gets in the face of Morgan Smythe, who is a spunky as they come. The spunkiness doesn't help any, and Garvin pushes her down! HEEL HOOK ON MORGAN SMYTHE! The crowd are in riot mode, and are trying to jump the railing. Dick Kiebiech runs in to stop the madness. PAINKILLER ON DICK KIEBIECH! This is insane... someone needs to get these men out of here. Morgan Smythe's ankle might be broken by now. She's crying in the middle of the ring, locked in the Heel Hook.
BILL HEWSON: THIS DESPICABLE! SOMEONE NEEDS TO GET OUT HERE! THE SON OF A BITCH IS GOING TO BREAK HER ANKLE!
JACK JONES: This is beyond my realm of what's OK. This is another level.
Chad Kurtis enters the ring with a chair, and Simply Beautiful alerts Jeff Garvin, and they leave the ring unscathed. They make their way to the aisle as Chad is trying to console Morgan Smythe. Simply Beautiful and Garvin leave getting booed louder than ever. Cups and trash are being thrown at the duo who finally get through to the back. Chad Kurtis and Dez Carter are moving on... but that's an after thought, considering the carnage left in the ring right now.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for one for and is for the NAPW Heritage Championship! Introducing first from Chicage, Illionis, the former Television champion... JEFF JAMES!
"Six" by All that Remains begins to play as Jeff James flis in the ring to a nice pop, looking ready for his chance to capture gold. "Bang Bang to the Rock 'n' Roll" is heard as the Heritage Champion, "Dynamite" Stone Zellor comes down to the ring to a nice pop...
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent from Staten Island, New York! He is the NAPW Canadian Heritage Champion... "Dynamite" Stone Zellor!!!
BILL HEWSON: This should be a good match. The crowd seems split on who to pull for, but Stone has to be the fave. He's been on some run as late.
JACK JONES: I had more respect for Stone before he cared what the crowd thought.
BILL HEWSON: Of course you did. Let's get to the action. Ê
Zellor and James meet in the center of the ring, Bit of a show-down, then... Zellor challenges James to a test of strength. James is hesitant at first then accepts. It goes back and forth for awhile until Zellor finally get the upper hand, James forces a break They tie-up, Zellor uses his strength advantage. He maneuvers into a headlock, then into a front-face lock, trying to force James to the canvas with his leverage. James seems to be losing the battle... suddenly he gains composure and reverses, grabbing Stone's legs and taking him down for a school-boy? James gets the champion in a cross arm-breaker, but Zellor struggles his way out. Stone turns it around, trying to get something --- he's got a leg, turning James over for a half-Boston crab. James denies it! He rolls onto his back, then pushes a boot into Stone's chest, driving him into the ropes. Stone bounces back, ducks a clothesline, the tries to hit a huge elbow, but James catches him, and he hit's a standing dropkick!
Stone is down, and James is taking advantage by applying an armbar and torquing it on, trying to pull the shoulder out of its socket! Zellor desperately uses his free arm to elbow James in the temple, until the hold is released. Zellor retreats to the outside, clutching his arm. James get to a corner ing to regain his senses. The Canadian fans appreciate the action. Both men back in the center of the ring, face-to-face. They go to lock up again, Zellor fakes James and sidesteps, James stumbles a bit, allowing Stone the chance to land a standing dropkick. He follows up with an European Uppercut that knock James on his ass. James nips up only to be nailed by a pimp slap! Zellor knows he's got James what where he wants him and sits him up for a tombstone pile driver, but James blocks it with a low blow gives him a burst of momentum.
BILL HEWSON: What the? A low blow by Jeff James?
JACK JONES: OH NO! NOT A LOW BLOW!
BILL HEWSON: Jeff James should know what happens to Stone Zellor when you do that to him!
As in, Jeff James is finding his arm in sudden pain. Stone yells out "BALLS OF STEEL, BITCH!" and delivers another pimp slap --- James with a thumb to the eye. What the hell? Why is James wrestling dirty? James stays on the attack with a boot to the gut of Stone, followed by arm drag. James is putting all the weight he can in the hold to disable Zellor. The referee is looking for the submission but Zellor ain't quiting that easy and grabs the ropes, forcing the break, then slides out of the ring to get his bearings. James follows the Stone. Zellor chops James and tries to get back in the ring, but James returns a chop of his own as the two men go back and forth on the outside as the referee begins the 10 count...
One....
Two...
Three...
James slides in bringing Zellor with him. James feels he has this match in the bag and goes for the CRASH LANDING --- but that's exactly what he gets as he crash lands onto the mat, and the champ is quick to take advantage with a knee to back to back,then Slammy Time!!! You can tell Stone and the crowd are feeling this match is about to end as Stone lands a missle dropkick followed by a tombstone piledriver which can mean only one thing, and Stone signals for it! He's got the double underhook on, and yes it's his SCAR submission hold! Stone has Scar hooked in the middle of the ring. James is fighting with everything his got. The referee is asking James if he submits. James says no, but he can't break it. Jeff James taps out! The referee calls for the bell.
FRANK WARBURTON:: Here is your winner and still NAPW Heritage Champion, "Dynamite" Stone Zellor!!!!
BILL HEWSON: Stone Zellor turns back the challenge of a desperate Jeff James, and continues his run as the Heritage champion! Jack ---
Just then a familar Akforty produced entrance theme begins to blare from the speakers.
BILL HEWSON: Wait a minute. I think I know who this is... but it can't be!
Just then PRINCE DARKO pops his head out from the curtains, mic in hand. Darko makes his way past the baffled fans and into the ring. Stone looks around the crowd looking for Darko's back-up.
PRINCE DARKO: Stone, you can stop that, there's no need to look over your shoulders. You see, I'm alone this time. Yes, I know, shocker, right? Anyways, Your's Truly has been signed to NAPW.
The crowd gasps. Stone looks at Darko with that "So who gives a damn?" face.
JACK JONES: A smart move, we finally get some actual talent here.
BILL HEWSON: A smart move? Prince Darko was a CRIME! He tried to ruin NAPW! This decision doesn't make any sense to me!
PRINCE DARKO: See, word got out that my contract with REBEL was expiring, NAPW management got on the ball and contacted me. We got in the offices, ordered Chinese, talked business, viola, here I stand in front of you. The man, the legend, Prince Darko, NAPW's newest face on the singles roster.
JACK JONES: ... Singles action? You mean, no Foundation?
BILL HEWSON: As long as it's the year 2007, I don't think we'll be seeing much of Foundation here in NAPW.
Stone gives Darko an "Are you done? Cause I really don't give a shit" face.
PRINCE DARKO: Heh, will you be as non-chalant when I tell you that I want that?
Darko points to Stone's belt. Stone looks at his belt then back at Darko and hits Darko with an "I still don't care" face. Stone grabs the microphone.
STONE ZELLOR: Hey foo, I don't know if you realize it, but I ain't worried about anything... cos I GOT SKILLZ, BITCH!
The crowd shouts along with Stone when he says that. He slams the mic back to Darko.
PRINCE DARKO: That's fine by me. Just do me a favor, hold on tightly to that baby of yours...
Darko approaches Stone and taps his belt. Stone slaps his hand away, Darko favors his hand sarcastically before exiting from the ring. While on the ramp way, he looks back at Stone and points to his belt for the second time then he moves his hands around his waist to gesture a belt.
PRINCE DARKO: ... Cause time flies.
Stone's music hits as Darko exits. Stone celebrates with his peeps and the Heritage title!
BILL HEWSON: Stone Zellor still the Heritage champion, but Prince Darko is back in NAPW... and coming for the belt! What else is going to happen tonight in Seattle?
AC/DC plays again, "Are You Ready?", because damn, are you ready? The eight men in the Battlebowl are streaming to the ring. Northwest Express, Yukon with his forehead bandaged up are in first, followed by The Damned and Murcielago. "The Show" Chad Kurtis and Dez Carter come out to a roar of cheers... and finally coming out, Odyssey Baldwin accompanying him, Link Van Haggard. Link doesn't look like he wants to get into the ring with NWX! He rolls in, there's the bell, here we go! Referees John Sharplin and Anthony Uruburu are on the outside to call the action!
BILL HEWSON: Eight men, one title shot! All of the "favorites" have been eliminated in this surprising night, somebody is going to get a tremendous opportunity!
JACK JONES: No Ravager, no Deathrow, no Kodiak, no Simply Beautiful, this is the wildcard to end all wildcards, Hewson!
Everybody is brawling here, tough matches all night long and now it's on. As expected, The Damned & Murcielago are working together as a unit. Link Van Haggard is mixing it up with Dez Carter as The Show locks horns with Randy London, The Damned picking their targets out. Murcielago attacks "The Show" as The Damned double-team Yukon Gold, trying to dump him out. London knocks off The Show and comes over to help his partner out as Dez Carter whips Link to the ropes. Link holds onto the top rope and Dez charges --- Link body drops Dez out!
Dez skins the cat back in! He headscissors Link, can he get him over?
Yes, but Link is able to stay on the ring apron and roll back in. He stomps Carter for good measure and then scopes it out. Yukon Gold knocks down Al B Damned, Link from behind to tip Yukon out! No, doesn't work! Yukon turns around and grabs Link by the throat, he's pissed off! Odyssey on the ring apron, he's got Yukon from behind! Link gets free, he charges --- Yukon Gold ducks! Link knocks Odyssey to the floor, Randy London with a dropkick to Link! Sends Link to the ropes, Yukon grabs Link and he's gone! Link lands on the floor right beside Odyssey Baldwin!
FRANK WARBURTON: Link Van Haggard has been eliminated!
BILL HEWSON: The Northwest Express with a small measure of revenge on Link Van Haggard, but it's not over yet!
NWX get back into the fray. Murcielago and Al are trying to put Dez over the top rope. Yukon Gold and London paired off against The Show and Sebastien Martyr. London and Show exchange a series of chops, London off the ropes, Show ducks the spinning heel kick! London is off-balance, toe-kick by Chad...
CK FINALE!
Kurtis picks a limp London and tosses him over the top rope!
FRANK WARBURTON: Randy London has been eliminated!
JACK JONES: Nobody walks away from the CK Finale!
BILL HEWSON: Good one for the show, but he needs to watch out! Yukon Gold with a big LARIAT... and that sends The Show over the top! Yukon getting one back for his partner London!
FRANK WARBURTON: Chad Kurtis has been eliminated!
BILL HEWSON: The trio of Murcielago, Sebastien Martyr and Al B Damned are still in this together, one of them has to be the favorite, but the fans would love to see Dez Carter take this on his big return to NAPW!
Indeed they would, but right now The Damned and Murcielago and all over Carter. Yukon Gold gets into it, he could help pitch Dez but I don't think he's a huge fan of The Damned. Yukon pounding on the REBEL #1 Contender. Martyr sees Damned having Dez well in hand and comes over to lend a hand. Al picks Dez way above his head in a gorilla press, Dez is going out!
Carter slips off and grabs a front face-lock! Carter is standing on the ring apron, he's so close to being out, but he pulls and pulls on the big Damned... until gravity pulls Damned over the top and to the floor as Dez rolls back in!
FRANK WARBURTON: Al B. Damned has been eliminated!
Martyr turns around in naked fury at the announcement. He yells profanities at Al, who appears totally crushed on the outside. Carter with stiff forearms to Martyr, this isn't over yet! Carter trying to put Martyr out... Murcielago with a big DDT on Yukon Gold to put the man down, he attacks Dez from behind. Martyr and Murcielago attempting to put Dez out, but he's fighting. Elbows and chops to get free, Dez lifts up Martyr for GO 2 SLEEEEEP --- Murcielago boots Dez in the face! Martyr falls off, Dez staggering, DEFCON-1! M&M pull up Dez Carter and easily toss him over the top rope!
FRANK WARBURTON: Dez Carter has been eliminated!
BILL HEWSON: We're down to three, and you know that Murcielago and Martyr have one plan: Bring it down to just them, then fight it out! Yukon Gold is wrestling an essential handicap match now!
JACK JONES: He should have kept his partner in the match, Hewson! Some teamwork.
Murcielago stomps Yukon. Martyr takes a shot. The big Murcielago holds Yukon's arms behind him for Martyr to open up with free shots. Martyr rips off the bandage and begins clawing at the wound, what a sick freak. Martyr parades around the ring with bloody fingers, drawing boos as Murcielago chokes the life out of Yukon Gold.
BILL HEWSON: They still need to get the 278 pounder over the top rope, but it may be just a matter of time now.
Murcielago picks Yukon Gold up --- DEFCON-1! No, Yukon shoves Murcielago away! Murcielago rebounds off the ropes, LARIAAAT! Yukon ducks, Murcielago nails Martyr! Holy hell! Murcielago just nailed his ally ... he turns around into Yukon Gold CHARING at him like a steamtrain! WHAMMO! Murcielago goes over the top rope!
FRANK WARBURTON: MURCIELAGO HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
JACK JONES: No, no, Murcielago was going to be the first ever REBEL and NAPW Champion!
BILL HEWSON: Not anymore he isn't! Two men left, one title shot! Yukon Gold has all the momentum on his side!
He does indeed, and he pulls Martyr up. Yukon points, the crowd cheers, and here goes Martyr --- Sebastien blocks, fighting it off. He goes to the eyes to stop Yukon. Martyr pulls the legs down, he's going to catapult Yukon Gold over the top? Maybe, but Yukon uses his leg strength to send Martyr flying. Sebastien gets up near the ropes, Yukon charges! Martyr low bridge, Yukon stops just short! Martyr tries to dump the man, Yukon holding the ropes... Sebastien throws some forearms into the back and stuns Yukon, he has to get the big out over the top somehow. Martyr with an irish whip, Yukon refuses to budge. Martyr boots Yukon in the ribs several times, then sends him for the ride
Yukon reverses
GOOZLE!
GOLD RUSHHHHH ---
NAILS IT!
Martyr is down and out, folks! Yukon Gold picks up the dead weight, like a sack of potatoes, way over his head. He's going to launch Martyr out of the ring for sure... wait a minute! Al B Damned from behind! Al hammering on Yukon Gold, who drops Martyr. Damned pounding, Yukon Gold wants none of it however! He returns fire, staggering the mohawked one... Yukon tosses Damned over the top rope for the second time in the match-up! Wow!
But Al's sacfice gives Martyr to sneak up on Yukon Gold and pitch him over the top rope!
FRANK WARBURTON: Yukon Gold has been eliminated... the winner of the match and Battlebowl champion, Sebastien Martyrrrrr!
JACK JONES: Yes! Yes! I'm rich! Rich like nazis!
BILL HEWSON: Wait, what?
JACK JONES: Sebastien Martyr is a genius, a poet, and a true warrior! Suck it fans!
BILL HEWSON: What is WRONG with you? In any event. Martyr has a World Title shot, anytime he wants it, but only because he cheated. Kudos to everybody who made it this far, defying the odds and scoring big upsets... there is a new breed in NAPW tonight!
JACK JONES: And only one winner, and you're looking right at him.
Martyr kisses the Battlebowl 2007 ring, slipping it on his finger. He is the man. Al B Damned applauds his boss... but he doesn't look all that happy. The crowd, however, is more than happy to shower The Damned with boos.
JACK JONES: Of course by that point, the Queen was pretty pissed off about the gin bathtub and I wasn't going to get my Knighthood anyways.
BILL HEWSON: I still can't see the Queen saying "'ung like a 'orse is 'e." She would not drop her H's like some cockney scoundrel!
JACK JONES: Oh Billy... Behind closed doors, she's a wild one!
BILL HEWSON: Indeed. And now it's time for our main event! One year ago, it was The Beast won won NAPW's first Lethal Lottery/Battlebowl event. Tonight, he finally claims his title shot... against worldwide astrocide, the champion Donovan Astros. Let's go to the ring.
"NO ONE'S GONNA TAKE ME ALIVE!
THE TIME HAS COME TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT!"
And the crowd, as they say, go BANANA. They might even be going APPLE. Seattle is all up-ons for the man walking through the curtain like John Wayne, drifting into town and bringing all hell with him. This is The Beast, and if the fans chants are any indication, then the next champ is here.
Beast walks to the ring, slapping some hands on the way, but he's not in a mood to play uber-babyface. Beast steps on the ring apron and looks out over the crowd before getting in and hitting a corner. The crowd roars as Beast pounds on his chest and raises his arm up high, then makes the universal "I want the belt" motion. Beast gets down and removes his hat and coat, down to his black jeans, boots and cut-sleeve shirt.
"I SAID HALLELUJAH!"
The boos should tell you just who this is. The title belt is on his right shoulder, shades over his eyes, ready to go in his walk of fame tights. The world champion. This is Donovan Astros, the man who shocked the world several months ago when he defeated the seemingly unbeatable Ravager. Then? Astros beat Ravager again.
Donovan walks around the ring, smirking at the fans. They can boo him all they want, it just gives him more fuel. He steps into the ring and holds the belt up high. Astros locks eyes with The Beast, then holds the belt high. Beast doesn't rise to the bait. Referee John Sharplin asks each competitor to take his corner, and Frank Warburton begins the introductions.
FRANK WARBURTON: Seattle Washington, it is now time for the Lethal Lottery II main event! The following contest is scheduled for a 60 minute time limit... and is a one fall contest for the NAPW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!
Introducing first to my left. Wearing black, he weighed in this morning at two-hundred and seventy pounds and stands at a height of six-feet, three inches tall. He is a former five-time NAPW Tag Team Champion and the 2006 Battlebowl champion! He is the challenger, the master of the Chart Attack... ladies and gentlemen, from St. Alberta Alberta... BRUCE RICHARDS! THE BEEEEEEEEEEEEASSSSSSSST!
And now to my right... wearing black and red, he weighed in this morning at two-hundredy and twenty-seven pounds. He stands six-feet, three inches tall and is a former NAPW tag team champion... and is the current, and reigning NAPW WORLD CHAMPION! Ladies and gentlemen, from Los Angeles California... The Worldwide Astrocide... DONOVANNNNN ASTRROOOOOOOOSSSS!
Astros gives the belt a good long look before passing it to Sharplin. John displays it to Beast, then to all four sides of the ring. He passes it off and then calls for the bell!
BILL HEWSON: That is what it's all about, the NAPW World Championship.
JACK JONES: And the man who MADE it a world title, Donovan Astros! Nobody in the history of NAPW can say that except for him!
BILL HEWSON: Nobody can ever take that away from Donovan Astros, but I'm not a fan of how he got the title shot, or some of his actions since becoming champion. But he is the champion going into this match... and that gives him the champion's advantage.
JACK JONES: That's right, Hewson! The Beast has to beat Astros --- Astros doesn't have to beat The Beast!
To get things started off here... Astros walks to center-ring and extends his hand.
BILL HEWSON: Since when is Astros a sportsman? Mind games from the champion no doubt, trying to get into the head of the challenger.
JACK JONES: Why are you so suspicious of the WORLD, Hewson? Astros is a great athlete and competitor, and a true champion. I ask why The Beast isn't shaking Astros' hand!
The Beast is indeed not shaking Astros hand, instead giving the champion a look of "Yeah, right." Astros grins broadly and extends his hand again. "Scout's honor! Let's have a good match." Beast looks over the crowd, who express their distrust for the champion... Beast pauses... but then meets Astros extended hand with his own.
A beat.
They break without event. Astros looks out to the crowd as if to say "What, you thought I would cheapshot him? Shammmme." Astros and The Beast begin to circle, collar-and-elbow tie-up. They jockey for position, but it is The Beast using his great power and weight advantage to muscle Astros into the corner. Sharplin calls for the break...
BILL HEWSON: And we get a clean break from The Beast.
JACK JONES: It's a trick, get an axe!
Astros claps for Beast, looking to the fans for their own appreciation of the sportsmanlike gesture. Again to the tie-up, Beast simply muscling Astros around, the champ switches out into a hammerlock. Astros is a great wrestler after all, and is hardly dwarfed by the challenger. Beast trying to counter, Astros simply counters the counter and keeps the hammerlock on. More jockeying, Beast ends up pressed against the ropes. Sharplin calls for a clean break again...
The crowd waits with bated breath...
Astros backs off. Clean break.
JACK JONES: And that's why this man is the world champ!
BILL HEWSON: Donovan Astros, it would seem, wants a wrestling match tonight in Seattle. Color me surprised, but I'm all for it. The Beast with the clear power and strength advantage early on, but these is less of a size difference between these two men as some of The Beast's other opponents. Astros no doubt the more technical wrestler of the two, he may very well have the advantage in a WRESTLING match.
JACK JONES: Astros has the advantage anytime he's in the ring, Hewson, because he's the best wrestler on God's Green Earth.
BILL HEWSON: When did you join the Astros PR team?
JACK JONES: Febtober!
The Beast and Astros at a stand-still. Beast raises a hand. He wants a test of strength. Astros is unsure, opening and closing his hand rapidly... but reaches up to meet it. From the look on Astros' face, Beast is crushing his hand. Astros nonetheless reaches up for the other hand. They ram into each other like two big bulls, but there's no real doubt as to who's going to overpower the other. Beast begins pushing Astros backwards, the champion being bent backwards. The top of Astros' head touches the canvas! Astros stops bridging, falling to the canvas, rolls backwards and out, dropkick to the face of Beast! Quick cover, only a one count. Astros grabs an arm-bar to control the challenger, situating himself above the man for leverage. Beast begins to get up, Astros twists the arm, then drives an elbow right into the shoulder joint. Another one. Another one. Very methodical from Donovan Astros in the early going. He pulls Beast up and slips behind him with the arm, yanking it down across his own shoulder! Beast grimaces and holds the right arm in pain. Astros doesn't let up, grabbing the arm and hammer-locking it. He presses a foot into the back of Beast's knee, forcing the bigger man to a crouch...
And then Astros drives a knee right into the hammerlocked arm and shoulder. Ow. No release though, Astros instead opting to hit a hammerlocked back suplex, right on the arm! Crowd winces on impact as Astros makes another quick lateral press. Again only a one-count.
BILL HEWSON: The champion goes right back to the arm. Astros is relentless in his attack, we've seen that before. But usually he goes for the head, softening them up for the huge impact of Astrocide and the Astrolabe.
JACK JONES: Well against a strong man like Beast, most people would try to take out his legs. You're the same size on the canvas. But take away his right arm, and Beast can't use the claw. He can't Cobra Clutch. He can't climb the ropes as fast. He can't throw you across the ring! AND... he's ready for the Astrlock!
BILL HEWSON: Donovan Astros could put a tremendous exclamation mark on his title reign with a submission victory over The Beast tonight. Bruce Richards has NEVER tapped out in NAPW competition!
Astros continues to keep something applied. Armbar, hammerlock. Beast tries to manuever free and Astros nails it again. He wants the submission victory, and he's going to destroy that arm until Beast won't be able to withstand more than a couple seconds of the Astrolock. Crowd is growing restless, but that's fine with the champ. He doesn't care if they're bored or want their "SPOTZ", he wants to WIN.
However, The Beast isn't about to go down without a fight. Astros hits another elbow point right to the shoulder, but Beast throws an elbow of his own back, catching Astros in the side of the face. Beast reaches back and grabs the man around the head, pulling, nothing, another elbow, Beast snapmares the champ down! Beast quickly grabs a side headlock, Astros backs into the ropes and shoves Beast off. Bruce at a run, Astros drops to the canvas, rebound, leapfrog, Beast off with a LARIATTTT --- Astros counters, grabs the arm into a reverse arm bar on the canvas! Submission hold applied, but The Beast isn't going to give up this quickly. He uses his good arm to begin pushing up, moving around, rolling to his side even as Astros doesn't want to let go of the arm, but suddenly his shoulders are on the mat! One! Two! Astros lets go in a hurry, but quickly kicks Beast in the shoulder. The champion pulls challenger up and again goes back to the arm-bar, Beast reverses, Astros counters, Beast counter-reverses into a short clothesline that puts the champ on his back!
Beast shaking his right arm, trying to loosen it up as Astros takes his feet. He comes in with a forearm shot and whips The Beast to the ropes, reverses, back body drop, sunset flip to counter! Can Astros get Beast over?
DOUBLE-STOMP!
Beast simply jumps up and brings both his feet down on Astros chest, all 270 pounds. Yeowch. Astros holds his chest with both arms, but The Beast is starting to feel some momentum. He pulls Donovan up and unleashes a brutal chop to the chest of the champion! Astros gasps in pain, and Beast keeps the stars coming with another big chop. Astros in the ropes, Beast sends him off with an irish-whip! Shoulderblock takes the champ down! Beast hits the ropes and knocks a rising Astros flat on the canvas with another one, once more off the ropes, a third big shoulder-block knocks the champ down with impact again! Beast pulls Astros up for a sudden vicious backbreaker that has the champ reeling! Cover one, two, Astros kicks out!
BILL HEWSON: You can feel this crowd come alive with every move The Beast hits! The momentum is building! Could this be the night he finally climbs right to the top of the mountain!
JACK JONES: There's only room at the top for one, and Astros isn't ready to leave, Hewson.
BILL HEWSON: He may not have a choice.
Beast roars to the crowd and pulls Astros up. A couple heavy forearm BOOMS stun Astros, front-face lock, Beast drops more of the big arms right across his back with a sick smacking sound. Just stiff, brutal shots from the challenger. They call him THE BEAST for a reason, folks. He pulls Astros up... suplex!
HOLDING HIM UP THERE!
JACK JONES: Making him think about it!
BILL HEWSON: All the blood rushing to the head of Donovan Astros! The strength it takes to hold a man suspended in mid-air like this!
And it doesn't like Beast has any plans to bring Astros down to the canvas anytime soon! The crowd has started counting...!
9, 10, 11, 12, 13...
Astros trying to kick, Beast has him so tight though! Balance and power!
21, 22, 23, 24, 25...
The crowd is growing louder and louder, stomping their feet and clapping as they count!
34, 35, 36, 37, 38...
HOW LONG WILL HE HOLD HIM UP THERE?
49, 50, 51, 51, 53...
BEAST HOLDING HIM!
54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59...
SIXTY!
BOOM!
Astros upside-down for ONE MINUTE and then dropped down to the canvas with authority! Beast gets up, and points to the top rope!
BILL HEWSON: Astros is prone in the center of the ring! Jack Attack, it's time for the ROUGHNECK AIRLINES FLIGHT 270 direct flight right to Donovan Astros!
JACK JONES: No layover in Topeka? NOOOOOO!
Beast is prepped and ready for take-off, the diving moonsault he's famous for since day one in NAPW! And --- wait a minute, Astros plants his foot on the ass of the referee and shoves him against the ropes! Beast loses his balance, crotched on the top turnbuckle! Astros gets to his feet, slightly dizzy from the SIXTY-SECOND SUPLEX, but he's got a mission! Up to the top rope, he takes a shot to the face of The Beast to stun the man. He's got the arms, what's he trying to do? Beast struggling however, Astros snarling, throws forearms into the man to stun him. THEY STAND ON THE TOP TURNBUCKLE ---
BUTTERFLY SUPLEX FROM THE TOP ROPE!
JACK JONES: HOLY HELL!
BILL HEWSON: Donovan Astros with an incredible show of strength --- there's the cover! One! Two! The Beast kicks-out with authority... the champion going for the ASTROLOCK! It's locked in, no, The Beast gets out! What's he going for here...
POWERBOMB! ONE! TWO! ASTROS kicks out! The Beast off the ropes, THE LARIAT, low bridge! Astros pulls the top rope down and The Beast goes flying to the outside! Near falls there, this match seems to have kicked into a higher gear!
The Beast is outside, Astros on the ring apron, comes off with a flying double ax-handle --- caught! The Beast has Astros, Donovan with wide-eyes of sudden horror, as The Beast rams the man back-first into the edge of the ring! Right on the corner! Astros winces, Beast holds him down and brings an open hand down HARD across his chest. Beast rolls Astros into the ring, Donovan begs off, hand to his back. He wants a reprieve from The Beast! He's not going to get one, the world title is on the line! Beast moves in for the kill
Low blow.
Astros uppercuts the sack and brings Bruce to his knees. Sharplin didn't see it, Astros positioned it perfectly so that Sharplin wouldn't see the illegal move!
BILL HEWSON: I smell a rat. This "wrestling match" is falling apart before our eyes... Donovan Astros isn't going to wrestle a clean match, he's just been biding his time and luring us into a false sense of security!
JACK JONES: Never trust The Beast? Never Trust Astros, Hewson --- especially when the world title is on the line!
And just to hammer the point home, Donovan sticks his thumb in The Beast's eye, then rakes his back, and then chokes him for good measure. Sharplin counts one, two, three, four, Astros lets go, reminding the ref that he has a five count. Donovan laughs evilly, giving the crowd double middle-fingers. Oh yes. He sucked you all in, bitches! And now it's time to destroy!
Astros drives some knees into the arm, and then wraps Beast's injured arm over the bottom rope, using the top rope for leverage to bend it out of shape. Sharplin counts, Astros breaks before he gets disqualified. Although a DQ would give him his title... he does want to BEAT the man, even if he does it using cheap tactics! Astros pulls Beast up, and yanks the arm, then sends Beast into the turnbuckle. Charge in, Astros meets boot! Astros stumbles, charges again, this time he's caught by Beast! Beast walks out of the corner with Astros over a shoulder, slams him to the mat! The Beast off the ropes, Astros moves out of the way of the elbow, tries to hit a big boot, Beast avoids it, picks the man up!
CHART ATTAAAAAAAAACK
COUNTERED!
TORNADO DDT!
Beast pops up however, but Astros tuns him with a toe kick and nails the ASTROLABE DDT! Two head moves! Pinfall ASTROS FEET ON THE ROPES!
ONE!
TWO!
KICK-OUT!
Astros yells at Sharplin to count faster, John never did see the feet on the ropes but Beast was able to get out nonetheless. Astros pulls The Beast up, Beast fires shots to the breadbasket! SOUP BONES! AND--- Donovan cuts it off with a rake of the eyes, and then it's time...
FOR THE ASTROLOCK!
JACK JONES: Yes! Yes! This is it! The end of The Beast, Bill Hewson, right here in Seattle!
BILL HEWSON: The Astrolock applied! Center of the ring! The Beast has had his arm worked on for the entire match so far! How much pain can he take?! HOW MUCH?
JACK JONES: We'll know in SECONDS!
And it really does look bad. Astros is standing strong and tall, leg over the neck, holding the arm up high and reefing it on. Beast is in pain, sweat pouring down his beard. The crowd is cheering, trying to rally him, but they're not in the ring with him! They can't break it for him!
Astros face is a mask of hate and anger. He wants to win. He wants it so bad. He needs to be the champion!
Beast raises his hand... it's shaking. WILL HE?
WON'T HE?
BEAST IS GOING TO TAP
GOING TO TAP OUT
NO! HE MAKES A FIST! SHAKES IT!
BILL HEWSON: THE BEAST! IS! FIGHTING!
The crowd screaming as one! "BEAST BEAST BEAST BEAST!" Beast begins to move... Astros trying to keep him in place, but the power of The Beast! He manuevers his body... closer... closer... fingertips brush the ropes! He can't get it...
He does!
John Sharplin calls for the break, Astros snarls at him and holds on for one, two, three, four, lets go.
BILL HEWSON: The hold is broken, The Beast is still in this thing!
JACK JONES: But the damage has been done, Hewson! The damage has been DONE.
BILL HEWSON: You --- you might be right, I don't know how much use Beast is going to have of that arm at this point!
Donovan Astros smells blood. He comes in, Bruce swipes at him with the left hand. Takes a piece, but Astros has the high ground and the mean streak. He kicks Beast in the bad shoulder viciously, then pulls the man up. Oh no! Astros is going up top, STEELE TOWER! That'll kill the neck and shoulders just that much more! He has a hold of Beast, comes off ---
BEAST SLAMS HIM!
Beast used Astros own momentum to send him hard into the canvas! And now Beast needs to mount a comeback, his right arm dangling at his side. What can he use?! Astros gets up to his feet, Beast behind, trying the Cobra Clutch. He's got it... and there's the BOMB! Beast holding his arm in pain, that didn't help it, cover!
ONE!
TWO!
Astros kicks out! Beast gets up, and he's ready to destroy Astros! Donovan gets up, walks right into Beast and gets hoisted on the shoulders! CHART ATTACK --- Astros slips off! He rebounds off the ropes with a flying forearm smash INTO THE REFEREE INTO BEAST!
BILL HEWSON: What the --- Donovan Astros just nailed the referee!
JACK JONES: It was an accident, Sharplin shouldn't have gotten in the way!
BILL HEWSON: He WASN'T in the way! I think Astros did that intentionally! Astros with a low blow! Oh no, not like this! ASTROCIDE --- BEAST COUNTERS! CHART ATTACK! CHART ATTACK! CHAAAAAART ATTACK!
And Beast covers, the crowd yelling ONE, TWO, THREE!
But the referee isn't there to make the count.
Beast slaps the mat three times on his own, and looks over at Sharplin who is trying to get to his feet, he got knocked good, right in the forehead. Beast goes over to John Sharplin, trying to get him up. There's no pinfall without a referee.
Unfortunately, in his frustration, Beast turned his back on Donovan Astros. Astros rolls out of the ring, dazed from the Chart Attack, but getting his bearings back. He grabs the world title belt from the timekeeper's table and rolls into the ring, cradling it against his chest. Beast turns around, hoping Sharplin is up to make the count. He sees Astros in fetal and pulls him up LOW BLOW. Donovan shoots his leg back to catch The Beast in the jewels AGAIN... OFF THE ROPES! ASTROS WITH THE TITLE BELT RIGHT TO THE FOREHEAD OF THE BEAST!
ASTROS COVERS! Sharplin crawls over to make the count!
ONE!
TWO!
THR---
NO! NO! NO! BEAST KICKS OUT!
BILL HEWSON: The Beast kicks out, and Donovan Astros can't BELIEVE it! John Sharplin telling him it was only two and a half OH COME ON! THE CHAMP JUST DDTed JOHN SHARPLIN TO THE CANVAS! What in the HELL is wrong with Donovan Astros? COME ON!
JACK JONES: Sharplin shouldn't put his hands on a wrestler! He asked for it!
BILL HEWSON: He did no such thing! And oh no, Astros just grabbed a steel chair from outside the ring! What a son of a bitch!
The crowd is booing like hell as Astros readies the chair. Beast is up, blood pouring from his forehead... Astros SWINGS AND HITS A HOME RUN! Beast tried to get a hand up but to no avail! He goes down, Astros hooks a leg... and now Astros' frustration screws him over. Because the referee he knocked out? CAN'T MAKE THE COUNT! Wait a minute! Here comes Anthony Uruburu! Astros hooks the legs tightly, Beast is OUT! Uruburu slides in and makes the count ONE, TWO, THR---
KICK-OUT! KICK-OUT! KICK-OUTTTTTT!
THE CROWD GOES FUCKING CRAAAAAAZY!
Astros gets up in utter disbelief, face expressing it. Uruburu holds up two fingers to Astros three --- Astros now has ONE finger up, but goes back to The Beast.
Who is on his feet.
And uh.
Really. Really. Really pissed off.
Donovan Astros holds his hands up in a gesture of peace, begging off. The Beast isn't buying it. In fact, he's advancing on Astros until Donovan has his back to the ropes. Donovan grins --- cheap shot! Beast blocks it, fires with his own! The Beast opening up on Donovan Astros as Anthony Uruburu watches on! Astros sent to the ropes, NO! He grabs the ropes and skids to the outside! He's had enough of this match! Astros walks around the back of the ring, heading to the entryway. He stops to look back
BEASTOUTTACONTROLPLANCHA
HUAH! ASTROS GETS WIPED OUT ON THE FLOOR! CROWD CHANTS "HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT!" Beast picks himself up, roaring in primal fury! Astros is not where he wants to be now! Beast picks him up RIP, Astros desperately tears himself free from The Beast's grip! Beast stalks him, Astros is trying to get away, trying to get the hell away! He shoves the timekeeper's table in the way, a chair, trying to slow Beast down! It's like a goddamned Horror movie and The Beast is Michael Myers, and Astros is his next victim! Astros gets to the guardrail and tries to get out over it, one leg over... and Beast grabs him by the back of the tights. The "OH SHIT" expression on Astros' face is priceless as he gets yanked unceremoniously back down to the floor. He tries to crawl away from the Beast, turning around and holding a hand up in utter terror. The Beast, blood raging down his face, bellow in Astros' face. He hauls the man up and tosses him into the ring without grace or form, just power! Beast follows Astros in, Donovan kicks the man as he gets in, but Beast is not going to be deterred! He is not going to be stopped! He smashes Astros in the face, comes off the ropes for a lariatttttttoooooASTROS SHOVES URUBURU IN THE WAY! Beast DESTROYS Anthony Uruburu! Donovan from behind! ASTROCIDE ON THE BEAST! He covers, John Sharplin has come to, he makes a count!
ONE!
TWO!
THREEE---
BEAST KICKS OUT! BEAST KICKS OOOOUUUUUTTTTT!
BILL HEWSON: And wait a minute, Donovan Astros just grabbed the world title belt again! He's going to use it as a weapon one more time --- John Sharplin just pulled it out of his hands! Sharplin is upNO! ASTROS JUST PUNCHED SHARPLIN RIGHT IN THE FACE! COME ON! COME ON! Astros covers again, NO! Beast is up! Beast unloading on Donovan Astros! Oh my god, what brutal shots! The Beast is just laying into Donovan Astros, rights and lefts! Astro is getting the living hell beaten out of him and these fans are loving it!
JACK JONES: Disqualify him, referee!
BILL HEWSON: WHAT REFEREE?
The Beast is just decimating Astros! Astros shot to the ropes, LARIATOOOOO! No cover, Beast isn't THROUGH. Up again, into the ropes, Astros EATS SPINEBUSTER! The Beast goes to the top rope! THIS TIME! DIVING MOOOOONSAULT! HE HITS IT! But that's not the finish! That's not what's going to happen! This is Donovan Astros getting picked up and GODDAMN IT, GOING LOW AGAIN! Uruburu is up somehow, ostracizing Astros for the lowblow --- ASTROS KICKS HIM IN THE GUT! ASTROCIDE ON THE REFEREE!
BILL HEWSON: What the hell is WRONG with Donovan Astros?
JACK JONES: Well, Uruburu has been kind of snotty lately...
BILL HEWSON: Oh, yeah, that's real great! This is just sick! WAIT A MINUTE! THE BEAST! CHART ATTACK --- ASTROS GETS OFF! ASTROCIDE --- COUNTERED CHART ATTAAAAAAAAAAAACK! HERE COMES DICK KIEBIECH! THIS IS IT!
Dick Kiebiech does indeed hit the ring, arm in a sling from earlier as Beast pulls Astros up and sends him flying! ASTROS EATS CANVAS! BEAST PUTS THE ARM OVER DINGDINGDING.
BILL HEWSON: Wait a ... wait a minute, the bell just rang as Beast covered! Dick Kiebiech is talking to Frank Warburton... what in the hell?
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, senior official Dick Kiebiech has ruled that because of his extreme abuse of the officials in the match... The winner of the match VIA DISQUALIFICATION...
THE BEAST! BRUCE! RICHARRRRRRRDS!
The crowd cheers hard but suddenly it dies off, as many realize that...
FRANK WARBURTON: However, the title cannot change hands on a disqualification, so STILL World Champion.... DONOVAN ASSSSTROOOOOOSSSS!
BILL HEWSON: The Beast had him beat! The Beast had the champion beat THREE TIMES in this match! Donovan Astros got himself disqualifed on purpose, dammit! He couldn't beat The Beast!
JACK JONES: But he's STILL your world champion, Hewson! And that's what it's ALL ABOUT! Right there!
Kiebiech gives a bloodied, bruised black & blue Donovan Astros the world title belt. Astros holds it close and more or less stumbles up the aisle, grinning through puffy lips. The Beast is asking what the hell just happened. Kiebiech explains to him that he had to protec the referees, things had gone too far...
CHART ATTACK ON KIEBIECH!
NEVER TRUST THE BEAST!
BILL HEWSON: I can't say I blame him, but... that's going to cost you, Beast!
JACK JONES: That son of a bitch! Laying his hands on an official! FINE HIM, WAHOO! FINE HIM TIL HE'S DEAD!
BILL HEWSON: These Seattle fans are NOT happy! Donovan Astros is still the world champion, that son of a bitch, in one of the most controversial NAPW title matches we've ever seen! We will see you next time for the Hostile Hangover double shot in Vancouver, BC, next Thursday and Friday night! Good night!
Beast stands over top of Kiebiech. He exits the ring, as disgusted as the fans. What happens next, NAPW?!