The Polish Hall is jampacked despite the -30 degree temperatures outside. Yes, kids. Once in a while Canada really IS as cold as you think it is. Yet the fans are here and the numerous signs point to the biggest reason why:
"BLOOD & CHARTS = DEAD DEVILS"
"WELCOME BACK D-X!"
"KYLE UR SO HAWT"
"ASTROS = D-STRUCTED"
"I WANT TO GET DOWN N DIRTY!"
Project 86's "Evil (A Chorus Of Resistance)" is blasting through the Hall to whip the fans into a frenzy as Bill Hewson and Jack "Attack" Jones introduce the show from ringside!
BILL HEWSON: Edmonton is snowed in, but the fans have turned out in droves for tonight, for ONE NIGHT ONLY, NAPW will host the reunion of the five-time tag team champions, I can only be talking about ONE team --- Bruce "The Beast" Richards, Stylin' Kyle Roberts, The NEW & IMPROVED D-X! Jack "Attack" Jones, did you ever think you would see the day these two men teamed up again, after the vicious feud they had one year ago?
JACK JONES: Frankly, no, and I didn't see them each becoming World Champions in singles either. But tonight, only ONE member of D-X is a world champion, and that's Stylin' Kyle Roberts representing our sister promotion REBEL Pro Wrestling. The New Alberta PRO World Title is around the waist of one DONOVAN ASTROS, the best wrestler on God's green Earth!
BILL HEWSON: It will be the World Champion and the man who ended Ravager's career, Jake Phoenix teaming up to take on D-X in the main event. D-X vs the Murder City Devils TONIGHT, along with several other great matches... and speaking of matches, let's get straight to the action. Take it away, Frank!
Frank Warburton is standing middle-ring, mic in hand, and the fans eagerly await the introductions for the first match of the night.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, this next is scheduled for fall and has a twenty minute time limit. Introducing first, from Middletown, New Jersey. He weighs in at three-hundred-fifty pounds. KRENSHOV!
"AND I AM FINALLY FREE!"
The crowd pops as "Attack" pumps through Polish Hall. Sure enough, KRENSHOV emerges from behind the curtain as he slowly but surely makes his way down the aisle.
BILL HEWSON: The fans really seem to be behind KRENSHOV tonight, Jack Attack. And with good reason, he's going up against one of the most hated men in NAPW.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent...
"Guess who's back?"
FRANK WARBURTON: From Paducah, Kentucky. He weighs in two-hundred-thirty pounds. "THE SHOW" CHAD KURTIS!
"THEY SAY I'M COCKY! And I say WHAT? It ain't bragging (BLEEP) if you back it up!"
The Innovator of Offense appears at the top of the aisle and the crowd are letting know how much they dislike him...
JACK JONES: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
BILL HEWSON: No, it can't be...
Ian Smith steps out behind Chad Kurtis as the two of them slowly swagger down the aisle. The crowd have taken their hating up a notch, but The True PTPer doesn't care. Instead he rolls into the ring -- and gets assaulted by KRENSHOV!
DING DING DING
This match is underway and KRENSHOV is stomping away on Chad Kurtis before he's even taken his hoodie off. before he even got to his feet! Well, before KRENSHOV lifts his opponent up by the hood and hurls him towards the corner. The big man goes for a hammer blow, but Kurtis ducks out of the way before firing back with a right hand! And another. Kurtis is fighting with everything he's got, but KRENSHOV pushes him away with both hands. Kurtis gets back to his feet as he spots his opponent charging -- BIG BOOT! And that damn near took his head off! But KRENSHOV lifts his opponent back to a vertical base before clocking Chad with a HUGE forearm to the face. A second and a third follow as Kurtis is sent against the ropes with an Irish whip -- SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT!
BILL HEWSON: Chad Kurtis with an impressive show of agility there to springboard moonsault! He's got a cover, one, two, BIG kick-out by Krenshov! And I mean BIG!
Illustrated by the fact that Kurtis was thrown three foot in the air. Chad is quickly back to his feet, albeit with of haze in his head as he head to the turnbuckle. KRENSHOV's at a serious speed disadvantage here as he just manages to get back up -- MISSILE DROPKICK! KRENSHOV stumbles, but doesn't fall down. Kurtis hurries to take his hoodie off before tossing it away out of the ring as he connects with some forearm smashes to the face of his opponent. The big man is being backed into a corner, and Kurtis hits a stiff forearm square to the jaw.
KRENSHOV looks a little dazed as he opponent runs to the far corner as he goes to get a head of steam. Chad Kurtis charging across the ring -- CAUGHT -- and KRENSHOV slams his opponent down!
JACK JONES: Oh damn, that folded him up like an accordion!
BILL HEWSON: It's certainly not a pleasant predicament for Chad Kurtis.
Wait.
An eerie silence falls over the crowd as they're gaze is taken away from the ring, towards the top of the aisle - where DAN RYAN is standing!
JACK JONES: What is Dan Ryan doing here?
BILL HEWSON: It was only last week that Chad Kurtis got 'The Ego Buster' disqualified in his match against KRENSHOV ... Retribution, maybe?
Obviously not, though, as Ryan just stands at the top of the aisle with his arms folded. Meanwhile. back in the ring, and KRENSHOV has spotted Dan Ryan near ring side. CHARGING DROPKICK! And Kurtis manages to knock the big man out through the middle rope! But KRENSHOV is getting back up as 'The Innovator of Offense' springboards off the ropes -- HEEL KICK! And that one knocks KRENSHOV off the apron and rolling up the aisle! He gets back to his feet, and he's within ten yards of 'The Ego Buster' -- but nothing! Chad Kurtis is in the ring, shouting some serious smack talk in the direction of Dan Ryan -- but nothing! He's just standing there with a non-chalant grin on his face as KRENSHOV heads back towards the ring (with one eye on Ryan) -- baseball slide by Chad catches the giant unaware, sending him back into the guard rail! And Kurtis climbs out onto the apron, as he runs and leaps off with a cross body - CAUGHT! A cheer from the crowd as KRENSHOV plucks his opponent from mid-air. And a louder cheer as he drives him back first into the steel ring post!
BILL HEWSON: Look at the horror on Ian Smith's face!
JACK JONES: That's not funny, Hewson. That sort of recklessness can end a man's career.
BILL HEWSON: I never said it was funny...
The official makes it up to four on his count-out as Kurtis is thrown to the floor with a fallaway slam! And now the match heads back into the ring as KRENSHOV rolls his opponent in first, before following him in. And the big man runs against the ropes - BIG BOOT to the side of Chad Kurtis' head! Cover!
ONE!
TWO!
THRNOOO!
Kurtis has a foot on the ropes! And KRENSHOV can't believe it. What luck that Ian Smith happens to be standing nearby ... But KRENSHOV just yanks his opponent back to his feet as he delivers a huge knee to the midsection. Kurtis is doubled over in the centre of ring. POWERBOMB! COUNTERED! Kurtis slides down the back of his opponent before catching him with a boot to the gut - CK FINALE - COUNTERED with a back body drop!
JACK JONES: So close!
But Kurtis is quickly back on his feet as a charging KRENSHOV goes for a lariat, which is ducked. And countered with a dropkick to the back. The big man staggers forward, bouncing off the ropes...
STARMAKER!
NO! KRENSHOV blocks the Starmaker with a huge clubbing blow to the back of Chad Kurtis, and 'The True PTPer' is in trouble as KRENSHOV hooks his arms and lifts him up...
TOTAL ECLIPSE!
NO!
Kurtis slides down the back again before going against the ropes, hopping up to springboard back in - SHOWTIME DDT! A stunning display of athleticism by 'The Show' Chad Kurtis as he just drilled the big man with a springboard moonsault/reverse DDT combination - but he's not done yet! Kurtis is running out of steam, but he's heading towards the corner as he slowly but surely ascends to the top rope ... BEST MOONSAULT EVER! And the co--no, he's heading to the turnbuckle again. And a second BME! Kurtis connects and a hook of the leg,
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner by pinfall... "THE SHOW" CHAD KURTIS!
Ian Smith climbs into the ring and helps Chad get back to his feet before raising his arm, victoriously! And the crowd hate it. They shower the two men with abuse and boos, but they're soaking it up. They're loving every second of it, and so they should. Chad Kurtis just defeated KRENSHOV - but two of them make a hasty exit as the big man begins to stir.
'The Ego Buster' Dan Ryan is still standing at the top of the aisle, flicking a non-chalant smirk at Chad Kurtis as he passes. Kurtis glares back, but after that match it might be a while before he's ready for another -- but he manages to pass by and head backstage without anything happening.
And now KRENSHOV is back on his feet in the ring. He battled hard and tossed his opponent around the ring with incredible strength, but he came up short this week - and the crowd are showing their appreciation ... But KRENSHOV isn't happy. For there, at the top of the aisle is 'The Ego Buster' Dan Ryan, mockingly applauding the man who gained a DQ victory over him last week.
BILL HEWSON: What is Dan Ryan playing at? He's poking the beast, and anyone can tell him that's not a good idea. In fact, that's one of the worst things you can do here in NAPW!
JACK JONES: And in the end, I felt it was best to let her just go. It was hard on me though.
BILL HEWSON: So Pamela Anderson was in reach of you, and you chose not to tackle and kidnap her? I misjudged you.
JACK JONES: Who would have thought she had body guards bigger than KRENSHOV!
BILL HEWSON: ...let's go to Frank.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is a four-corner elimination match, with a thirty minute time limit. The final two men competing will be granted a Canada Cup spot. The match winner will also be given his choice of opponent in the first round!
BAD BOYS, BAD BOYS, WHAT YA GONNA DO?
A smiling Joey Malone enters the ring, with his REBEL World Tag belt around his waist and Extreme Jobber title over his shoulder. He seems to be super enthused tonight, ready for this big match. The fans cheer for him.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, wrestling out of Lloydminster, Alberta. He weighs in at two hundred thirty pounds, the current NAPW Extreme Jobber Champion, and one half of the REBEL World Tag Team Champions, "BAD BOY" JOEY MALONE!
"Disorder in the House" begins to play as Teddy Davis enters the ringside area with a chorus of cheers. He is pumped up and geared for a chance to enter the Canada Cup.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first! He is wrestling out of Chatsworth, Ontario. He weighs in at two-hundred-twelve pounds: TEDDY DAVIS!
The Black Keys bring out Ol' Salty and Lloyd Rees. The "Technical Terror" is getting cheered loudly, and is wearing a bandage on his head, a wound received last week.
FRANK WARBURTON: Next, accompanied to the ring by Ol' Salty... hailing from Bell Island, Newfoundland. He weighs in tonight at two hundred forty six and one half pounds. He is a member of the GRAND SLAM CLUB, previously holding the NAPW World, Provincial, Tag Team and Television titles. He is THE EAST COAST SENSATION, THE TECHNICAL TERROR, L...D...K! LLOYD REES!
Metallica's "Seek and Destroy" starts up and out walks Mandy and Matt Kurtis. He stalks to the ring, not to fast, but not slow. He is ready to kill his opponents to gain the precious spot in the Canada Cup.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Mandy. He is wrestling out of Wickliffe Kentucky. He weighs three-hundred fifteen pounds and is a former NAPW Tag Team Champion, "BLUEGRASS BADASS" MATTHEW KURTIS!
The bell sounds at the command of Morgan Smythe. Matt Kurtis and "LDK" Lloyd Rees start the match off. The fans are clearly behind Rees and clearly against Kurtis. Kurtis doesn't much care and tells everyone in the arena to shut up. Mandy is also letting the fans know how she feels, telling them all to kiss her ass. Rees and Kurtis go nose to chin, Kurtis with the obvious height and weight advantage. The quickness advantage goes to Rees who will no doubt try to utilize that while facing off with the big man. They don't lock up but rather exchange right hands after a few seconds of trash talking. Rees gets knocked down quickly, but is up even quicker, charging at the big man with an attempt at a double leg takedown. Attempted is the key word as a big boot from Kurtis meets the head of Lloyd Rees. Rees falls hard to the mat. The Badass from the Bluegrass state wastes little time, picking LDK up and a PLANTING HIM WITH A SPINNING SIDE SLAM! The ring shook on that move, and Kurtis makes the first cover of the match.
ONE!
TWO!
JACK JONES: Lloyd Rees isn't getting pinned that easily, but a devastating move by Kurtis nonetheless.
BILL HEWSON: Matt Kurtis looks extra pissed off tonight, and that bodes well for... well, for himself only.
The Technical Terror will not stay down, and gets a shoulder up after two. Kurtis argues with Morgan. Rees takes the opportunity to tag out to Teddy Davis. Davis is in and quickly drop kicks the left knee of Kurtis. Kurtis goes down, and Teddy Davis continues to assault it with kicks, and then an elbow drop. Teddy Davis tries to apply the Figure Four Leglock but Kurtis kicks him away, landing his big boot in the chest of Teddy Davis. Matthew Kurtis gets up, limping a tad, and slaps Joey Malone across the face, tagging him in. Joey falls to the floor, holding his face. Morgan Smythe begins her count. One... Two... Teddy Davis helps Joey Malone up and into the ring. He is cheered for good sportsmanship and Teddy waits for the REBEL tag champ to get up. They tie up and Teddy sends Joey into the ropes. Off the rebound Teddy hip tosses Joey, and hangs on to his arm, for a deep arm bar. Joey gets some fan support and tries to power up out of the move. He gets off his butt, and is on his knees. The fans are rallying behind Joey. Joey is trying to get on his feet, and Joey gets Teddy's head. SNAPMARE! Joey with a dropkick to the head of Teddy. Joey is pumped up as Teddy tags in Matthew Kurtis. Kurtis comes in as Joey Malone is fired up ready to kill anything. Then Joey turns around and Matthew Kurtis is ready to rumble. Joey's enthusiam turns to fear.
Matthew Kurtis throws Joey into the ropes and catches him with a spinebuster. Joey is holding his ribs in the middle of the ring. Kurtis gives Mandy the thumbs up and she nods yes. Joey gets picked up, he is a little groggy. Matthew again throws Joey into the ropes, but this time Joey reverses it, throwing the Big Man toward the ropes. Mandy grabs a hold of Matthew's foot.
BILL HEWSON: Mandy just grabbed MATT's ankle! See that's what you get for wanting to cheat, he deserved that.
JACK JONES: Big time mistake, but it was sorta Matt's fault for getting reversed.
BILL HEWSON: Jack Jones agreed with me... the temperature here in Edmonton must match hell tonight.
Matthew is furious and cusses loudly at Mandy for her mistake. In the mean time, Joey Malone sneaks behind Matt. SCHOOLBOY ROLL UP!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Matthew Kurtis has been eliminated.
BILL HEWSON: THAT IS A HUGE UPSET!
JACK JONES: I think Joey needs to exit the ring... NOW!
The crowd goes wild and Matthew Kurtis is as pissed off as can be. The crowd begins a "JOEY BEAT YOU" chant. He screams in anger and grabs up Joey Malone. BLUEGRASS BOMB! Matthew Kurtis doesn't stop their, but picks up Malone for yet another BLUEGRASS BOMB! Malone is in a heap in Teddy Davis' corner. Teddy tags himself in. Rees is in, as Matthew Kurtis exits the ringside area resembling one pissed off hombre. The crowd gives him holy hell on the way out. "Come on, Mandy!"
BILL HEWSON: Joey Malone with an upset pin, but now he appears to be out! What a jerk Matthew Kurtis is!
JACK JONES: Joey should have known better than to try to win a match!
BILL HEWSON: In any event this match continues, Lloyd Rees and Teddy Davis locking up.
JACK JONES: These two have similar styles, but neither could beat me in my prime.
BILL HEWSON: All these comedians out of work, and your over there telling jokes for free.
Joey lays under the ropes in the corner, as Rees and Davis begin to battle. The crowd cheers both men as they bump knuckles and circle one another. They lock up, side headlock by Rees. Rees gets pushed off, Davis drop kicks Rees on the rebound. Davis wastes very little time, and drops a leg on Rees head/neck area. He sets Rees up and RUNNING NECK SNAP! Teddy Davis is fired up. He waits for Rees to recover and rise, sneaking behind him. Waist lock, but a German Suplex attempt is blocked. Rees does a standing switch and nails the German for himself. He thinks that it might be all, and covers Davis.
ONE!
TWO!
Kick out by Teddy Davis. Rees gets Teddy to his feet, and hooks him for a suplex, possible attmpe at the Wabana Buster. Teddy with a reversal and a NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! That particular model comes with a bridge:
ONE!
TWO!
Shoulder up by Rees. Teddy is wrestling a faster pace than normal, maybe trying to pin Rees quickly, so Joey Malone will have less time to recover. Teddy goes up to the second rope... FIST DROP... MISSES! Teddy Davis shakes his hand in pain, as Rees is on his feet. Rees gets behind the rising Teddy. DDT FROM THE GREEN! The cover!
ONE!
TWO!
FOOT ON THE ROPES!
BILL HEWSON: I thought Rees had him.
JACK JONES: I really dislike the way the fans cheer LDK now. It hurts. It really does.
"DAT WAS T'REE, damnit" yells Ol' Salty. Rees tries to get Teddy up, but receives a series of elbows to the stomach for his trouble. Teddy off the ropes, RUNNING KNEE LIFT! Rees has his head almost knocked off. Their is no one to tag, and Rees is hurt. Teddy Davis gets Rees up and CROSSFACE CHICKENWING! Nope, it's blocked, and Rees turns around to shove a forearm all up in Davis' grill. He lands another forearm shot. Rees with a sunset flip!
ONE!
TWO!
THR- NOPE NOT YET!
BILL HEWSON: This match up is awesome.
JACK JONES: Too bad Joey Malone isn't awake to see it.
Teddy Davis gets out, and both men are up. They charge one another with: SIMULTANEOUS CLOTHESLINES! Both men are out, Joey is still down on the apron, and Morgan Smythe is counting both men down. Morgan reaches a five count, but then Rees is covered by Davis...
ONE!
TWO!
REES WILL NOT GO DOWN! Teddy Davis looks frustrated. He gets Rees up, and hooks him for a Fisherman's Buster! Not one but TWO! Davis goes for one more! Rees counters! INSIDE CRADLE!
ONE!
TWO!
No, it's not over. Teddy Davis is up, so is Rees, and Lloyd gets hooked again. Rees fights him off, boots Davis in the stomach! "NISH" J. DROP! The cover!
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Lloyd Rees is frustrated and locks on the CONCEPTION BAY CHINLOCK! It's in the middle of the ring, and Teddy Davis has no where to go. He is fighting it, reaching for anything, but the ropes are no where near him. He isn't moving. He is going limp.
WAIT, HE HAS SOME LIFE LEFT! But still can't go anywhere.
TEDDY DAVIS IS FORCED TO TAP OUT!
FRANK WARBURTON: Teddy Davis has been Eliminated!
BILL HEWSON: OH MY GOD! You know what that means?
JACK JONES: JOEY MALONE'S IN THE CANADA CUP? SAY IT'S NOT SO!
Joey Malone is still on the mat, and Rees, breathing hard, boots him lightly, gauging a response. There is none. LDK pulls the lifeless Joey Malone to the center of the ring. He covers him.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE? NOPE, JOEY SHOOTS A SHOULDER UP!
BILL HEWSON: JOEY ISN'T DEAD YET!
JACK JONES: But he is still in the woods, and Rees smells the kill nearing.
Lloyd Rees can't believe it. Rees helps Joey up long enough to get him in the suplex facelock. Rees picks him up for the WABANA BUSTER! JOEY WIGGLES OUT, LANDING BEHIND REES! Joey kicks Rees in the stomach, BAD BLASTER? Nope, Joey gets kicked in the stomach and hit with a DDT! It wasn't from the "green" but still effective. The cover: ONE!
TWO!
THREE? ANOTHER KICK OUT BY JOEY!
BILL HEWSON: This is the best performance of Joey's career.
JACK JONES: You remember that weekend he kept stealing Rex Caliber's title belt? That was awesome too!
Rees has had enough and locks on the LANCE COVE LEGLOCK! Joey Malone is wide awake, and screaming like a wounded dog. He is around a foot away from the ropes. He is trying with all his might to get to it. He inches closer. Then Rees leans back deeper, trying to gain the submission. Joey WILL NOT TAP! He reaches again, and tries his best... nothing there. Rees will not be denied, keeping the hold on. Joey is turning different colors, and reaches out one more time.
JOEY MALONE
REACHES THE ROPES!
Lloyd Rees relenquenshes the hold. He sighs in disbelief that the Extreme Jobber Champion wouldn't give up! Rees picks up Joey Malone, almost hesitant, probably thinking: "What the hell do I gotta do?" Joey Malone is up, Rees grabs a front face lock, WAIT PUNCH TO THE BREAD BASKET... BAD BLASTER ON LLOYD REES! THE COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
WAIT, REES HAS A FOOT ON THE ROPES THROUGH THE COUNT OF THREE, MORGAN SMYTHE WAVES IT OFF!
BILL HEWSON: How close was that? If Morgan doesn't see the foot, Joey wins the match.
JACK JONES: Yeah, but it's not over... yet.
Joey Malone is out of breath, and looks heartbroken. He looks at Morgan, almost in tears.. she tells him about the foot. Malone gets to his feet. He doubles over, trying to get his breath. Rees gets up, and is behind Malone. DDT FROM THE GREEN!
NO COVER?
CONCEPTION BAY CHINLOCK!
JOEY MALONE HAS NOTHING LEFT, AND TAPS OUT!
FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of the match, "LDK" LLOYD REES!
BILL HEWSON: A great showing from all involved, but the gutsy performance of Malone was priceless.
JACK JONES: Do you think Rees knows who he will choose in the Canada Cup opening round?
BILL HEWSON: If I were a betting man, I'd lay a hundred dollars he picks Darko. He wants to avenge that chair shot... REAL BAD!
JACK JONES: "Bill Hewson... 100 dollars... 3-1 odds..."
BILL HEWSON: I said IF I was a betting man.
JACK JONES: So we just all stopped and stood there quietly, while the old woman got up and walked away.
BILL HEWSON: You had a strange Boy Scout troop.
FRANK WARBURTON: Coming up next it's time for your triple threat Superstar Rules match! It's scheduled for one fall with a twenty minute time limit!
BILL HEWSON: Are you ready for this match Jack?
JACK JONES: Ready? Why do you think I'm wearing this football helmet?
FRANK WARBURTON: Coming to the ring first...
"Last Call" by Tora Tora Tora hits the Polish Hall speakers!
FRANK WARBURTON: Hailing from Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. He is CHRIS KAMIKAZE!
Kamikaze comes out to a decent reaction from the crowd. He looks both ready and a little intimidated as he heads for the ring.
"Party Like a Rockstar" by The Shop Boyz is now playing to the crowd and they respond with a huge pop.
FRANK WARBURTON: Coming to the ring, he hails from Jacksonville, Florida... He is "THE DYNASTY" DAN MILLER!
Miller emerges from the back and takes a moment to survey the crowd and bask in their adulation. He then heads towards the ring, high fiving fans as he goes.
"WE FALL, WE FALL!"
BILL HEWSON: Oh Lord.
FRANK WARBURTON: And finally, he is one half of the NAPW World Tag Team Champions, being accompanied to the ring by Dextro and Ian Smith, this is "SUPERSTAR" Tommy Deathrow!
As Dead Celebrity Status pounds the Polish Hall speakers, Deathrow and Dextro appear from the back in, no, your eyes aren't playing tricks on you, the duo is indeed riding a bright orange moped with rainbow streamers! Deathrow parks his moped next to ringside and Dextro climbs out of the sidecar. Ian Smith appears with the duo and the unholy trinity is complete.
BILL HEWSON: A Moped? Now I'm convinced that Deathrow is insane.
JACK JONES: I'll wait here while you go tell him that.
BILL HEWSON: Er, that's okay.
The referee calls for the bell and Kamikaze races across the ring and hits a baseball slide into the sternum of Deathrow as he's climbing into the ring! Deathrow falls back into the duo of Smith and Dextro! Chris doesn't have long to celebrate through as Dan Miller grabs him from behind and hurls him over the top rope! Miller smiles at the crowd as on the outside Deathrow has already gotten back to his feet and is putting the boots to Chris. Miller springboards off the top rope and takes out Deathrow, Dextro, Smith and Kamikaze! The crowd has started a chant of "Miller! Miller! Miller!"
BILL HEWSON: Dan Miller is taking the fight straight to Deathrow and who can blame him? If either Miller or Kamikaze pin Deathrow, their respective tag team will get a future Title shot!
JACK JONES: That's a big "If!"
Miller digs Deathrow out from under the pile of bodies and rolls him into the ring. Miller starts to climb in after Tommy but Dextro grabs a leg and holds on for dear life! The crowd jump to their feet as Hank Henderson rushes out from the back and lands a well placed boot to free his partner! Miller rolls into the ring but is greeted by a legdrop across the back of the head from Deathrow. On the outside, Henderson moves to a neutral corner and watches as Smith and Dextro struggle to get back up their feet. Chris Kamikaze is also back to his feet and climbs up onto the ring apron. Inside the ring, Deathrow pulls Dan to his feet and Irish whips him into the ropes. Deathrow drops his head early and Miller leapfrogs him only to get nailed with a flying cross body from the top turnbuckle from Kamikaze! Chris hooks the far leg and only gets a count of one before Miller kicks out!
BILL HEWSON: We almost had a huge upset as Kamikaze nailed a beautiful cross body!
JACK JONES: If Wayne Wright can win gold, I'm convinced that anything can happen!
Deathrow pulls Chris to his feet and almost beheads him with a short arm clothesline. Miller is pulled to his feet and takes a headbutt from the Tag Champ. Miller responds with a vicious knife edge chop! A forearm to the head from Deathrow! Another chop from Miller that has the crowd issuing a "Woooooooo!" Stiff right hand from Deathrow staggers Miller! Another right hand! Miller ducks the third right hand and comes back with a rapid series of hard chops to the chest of Deathrow! The crowd counts along with the chops! One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Si - No! Deathrow drives a knee into the gut of Miller! Hangmans neckbreaker from Deathrow sends Miller to the mat. Deathrow is quickly back to his feet but gets rolled up from behind by Kamikaze! Deathrow kicks out at one and springs up to his feet.
BILL HEWSON: Deathrow and Miller need to remember that Kamikaze is also in this match! That's the second time Chris has almost snuck in a win!
Deathrow shows no remorse as he lands a kick between the uprights of Chris Kamikaze! The crowd groans as Chris collapses to the mat. On the outside Smith and Dextro have pulled a table out from under the ring and the crowd starts a loud "Table! Table! Table!" chant. A Death Valley Driver from Tommy further maims Kamikaze. Another huge pop as Dextro and Ian Smith have pulled a second table out from under the ring and are setting it up on top of the first one! Deathrow pulls Kamikaze to his feet, hooks his hands under the armpits of Chris and hits a ferocious running awesome bomb that sends the poor bastard through both tables set up outside! A huge "Holy Shit!" chant rattles the walls of the Polish Hall and Tommy smiles at the destruction he's just incurred.
JACK JONES: He killed Kamikaze! I'm both impressed and frightened by what I've seen!
BILL HEWSON: Kamikaze just lived up to his name by going through not one, but two tables set up at ringside! Safe to say he's now a non factor in this match!
Deathrow backs away from the carnage and Miller comes from nowhere to hit his Cheers (springboard inverted DDT) onto Tommy! A cover! One! Two! Deathrow kicks out! Miller pulls Deathrow up from the mat and shoots him into the ropes. A high back drop from Miller leaves Deathrow grimacing in pain. Dextro has a chair and is trying to come into the ring but Henderson stops him! Henderson rips the chair away from Dextro and smacks him across the skull with it! Inside the ring, Miller has scaled to the top rope and waits as Deathrow gets to his feet. Miller High Life! Miller hooks the leg of Tommy and the referee counts - One! Two! Again Deathrow kicks out!
BILL HEWSON: Miller is getting closer with each attempt to put away Tommy Deathrow!
Miller drags Deathrow to his feet and gets caught with a jawbreaker from the Tag Champ! A kick to the gut doubles over Miller and Deathrow goes for his Deathrow Driver! Miller reverses it into a backdrop! Miller attempts a split legged moonsault but Deathrow gets the knees up! Miller rolls away from Tommy clutching his ribs. Smith slides in a chair to Deathrow and the Tag Champ looks like a kid on Christmas Morning. Miller is getting to his feet and takes a shot across the back from Deathrow! Deathrow sets the chair up in the center of the ring and then goes to pull Miller to his feet. Deathrow sits Miller down onto the chair and then comes off the near ropes with a running boot to the face that sends "The Dynasty" toppling over!
JACK JONES: There goes that pretty smile!
BILL HEWSON: Did you just say that you like it when Dan Miller smiles?
JACK JONES: ...
Looking totally confident, Deathrow sets up the chair once more and goes to pull Miller to his feet. Miller is shoved onto the chair and again Deathrow goes to the ropes. However the second time isn't the charm as Miller lunges foreword and clips the legs of Tommy sending him headfirst into the seat of the chair! Miller, his mouth bloody, pulls Tommy up and leads him to the near corner. Deathrow is scooped up and hung in the tree of woe! Miller picks up the now dented chair and folds it up, placing it across the face of Deathrow. The crowd all come to their feet as Miller goes to the far turnbuckle.
BILL HEWSON: This could be it! If Miller hits this move then Henderson and himself will win a shot at Tag Team Gold!
JACK JONES: I dunno, Deathrows head is the hardest part of his body!
Miller scales to the top rope, smiles to the fans and goes -
COAST
TO
COAST!!!
Deathrow's head snaps back and he drops out of the tree of woe and collapses in a heap in the corner! Miller pulls him away from the ropes and goes for the pin! One! Two! Thr-NO! The referee is pulled out of the ring by Ian Smith! Miller looks livid and he rolls out of the ring. Smith tries to run but is grabbed by Miller. Big right hand to the jaw of Ian Smith! The crowd is going crazy! On the other side of the ring, Dextro has pulled Kamikaze out of the rubble from the tables and rolls him into the ring! Henderson again attacks Dextro! Deathrow drapes an arm across the chest of Kamikaze and the referee shoots back inside!
One!
Miller tries to get back inside but Smith grabs his leg!
Two!
Miller kicks him off and slides into the ring!
Three!
A second to late! Miller looks shocked as the referee raises the arm of an out of it Tommy Deathrow!
FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of this match, "SUPERSTAR" Tommy Deathrow!
BILL HEWSON: Dan Miller just got robbed!
JACK JONES: Superstar rules! Anything goes!
Dextro pulls Tommy out of the ring and helps him back to his moped. Henderson climbs into the ring, his partner standing with a look of frustration.
BILL HEWSON: And you KNOW that Dan Miller had Deathrow beaten, but thanks to Ian Smith... Deathrow was able to get a cheap pinfall on an unconscious Chris Kamikaze. Dammit!
JACK JONES: At the rate they're going, Sexy Adorable Drunks are going to hold the tag titles forever, Hewson, because they've destroyed all their competition.
Henderson and Miller watch as Smith, Dextro and Deathrow celebrate on the outside. The looks on their faces tell the story.
This fight has just begun.
BILL HEWSON: ... And just like that it was over. It was a roller coaster of a few months, but in the end the wedding went off without a hitch, and I couldn't have been happier to walk my daughter down the aisle.
JACK JONES: You sicken me.
BILL HEWSON: Just because you had a shotgun pointed at you when you got married.
JACK JONES: That was different. I didn't want to get married.
BILL HEWSON: ... What?
"Hands Down Ghandi" plays, interrupting yet another awkward moment for our announcers. Trent Daniels emerges from the curtains, getting a good pop from the crowd.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall, with a twenty minute time limit. Making his way to the ring, from Ottawa, Ontario... He weighs two hundred and ten pounds... Ladies and gentlemen... TRENT DANIELS!
BILL HEWSON: Daniels giving up size and experience here, but he came within inches of winning the Heritage title last week.
JACK JONES: Yeah, but things will be a bit different this week. His opponent is not in the best of moods after his last match...
"Emptiness is loneliness, and loneliness is cleanliness,
and cleanliness is Godliness, and God is empty, Just like me!"
The crowd's reception turns a bit more hostile...
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent, from Houston, Texas! He weighs three hundred and thirty five pounds... this is "THE EGO BUSTER" DAN RYAN!
Ryan makes his way to the ring, ignoring the jeers of the fans, focused entirely on his opponent.
JACK JONES: Dan Ryan got screwed out of a win last week. Who knows what he'll do to this kid to take out his frustration?
John Sharplin rings the bell and the two men lock up. Ryan rears back to shove Daniels to the mat, but Daniels hangs on and uses the momentum to arm drags Ryan down. Daniels keeps hold of the arm, but Ryan is quick to roll over and get out of the hold, and to his feet. Daniels is up in a flash, but meets a stiff palm strike, followed by a boot to the gut. Daniels is doubled over, and Ryan gets him in a gut wrench backbreaker. Daniels is in pain, and Ryan goes for the cover! One... two... Daniels gets a shoulder up! Ryan doesn't argue the count. Instead he waits for Daniels to get to a sitting position, then delivers a stiff boot to the spine. Daniels cringes in pain, but Ryan does not let up. He gets a waist lock on Daniels, hauls him up and hits a release German Suplex! Daniels lands on his feet! Ryan turns around and is surprised by a drop kick to the jaw! Daniels doesn't let up on the veteran, hits the ropes and charges back with a flying European uppercut, again catching Ryan under the jaw. The Ego Buster staggers a bit, and Daniels goes to the ropes again, and springboards off with a clothesline! Ryan still doesn't go down! Daniels with a dropkick to the knee, knocks Ryan off balance! Daniels with a drop toe hold finally takes the big man down! He slaps on a side headlock, then stands up to go for a bulldog...
But Ryan pitches Daniels over the top rope and to the floor.
BILL HEWSON: Daniels had no choice but to try and keep his momentum, but he maybe went for one too many risks there!
Ryan to the floor, stalking his injured prey. Daniels tries to pull himself up with the ring barrier, but Ryan is there to knock him back down with a forearm to the back. He scoops Daniels up and slams him to the concrete, then drags him up again and rolls him back into the ring. Daniels tries to crawl away, but Ryan stops his progress, putting one knee into his lower back. Ryan grabs a hold of Daniels chin and stretches him back in a surfboard type hold.
Sharplin is there to check for the tap out, but Daniels is resilient enough to refuse. And close enough to the ropes to reach out and grab the bottom one. Ryan lets go of the hold (granted he waits until Sharplin gets to the count of four) then hauls Daniels up and whips him into the ropes. He catches Daniels on the way back and goes for a spinebuster... Daniels hangs on and hits a DDT! But he's too hurt to capitalize! he drapes an arm over Ryan for a pin, but he doesn't even get a two count. Ryan is dazed from landing on his head, Daniels' back is in a bad way, but he has his wits about him. He tries to hit a snapmare on Ryan, but gets pushed off. Daniels bounces off the ropes and comes back with a mafia kick that catches Ryan by surprise! Ryan is knocked to one knee, and Daniels comes back with a shining wizard! Ryan is down!
Daniels nails a standing moonsault, then goes for a cover! He hooks the legs as Sharplin counts! ONE! TWO! Ryan kicks out! Daniels goes to the ropes, and nails a rising Ego Buster with a springboard dropkick! Ryan is knocked back down, and Daniels goes for another cover, but only gets two! He goes for a head lock, trying to wear Ryan down.
JACK JONES: The kid finally realizes. He's not going to knock Dan Ryan down, so he's going to have to wear him down. But I don't think he's big enough to do that either!
Daniels tries to wrap his legs around Ryan's waist, maybe looking for a rear naked choke. But Ryan gets to his knees, then to his feet, with Daniels still hanging on for dear life. Ryan backs Daniels hard into the turnbuckles, causing the youngster to loosen his hold. Then Ryan shifts Daniels onto his shoulders, and drops him to the mat with a Death Valley Driver! A collective "oooo" from the fans as Daniels is folded up like a lawn chair, and Ryan goes for the pin! ONE! TWO!
Daniels with a foot on the ropes! Ryan looks a bit surprised that he didn't finish things there, but he doesn't waste time. Daniels is proving too much of an annoyance to take lightly. He sets Daniels up for the Humility Bomb! But Daniels slumps down to one knee. Ryan takes a step back to try and re-position... Daniels with a small package!
ONE!
TWO!
Ryan kicks out, and knocks Daniels head over heels with a clothesline!
BILL HEWSON: Just when Daniels gets any momentum, the veteran Dan Ryan cuts him right off!
JACK JONES: That's why Dan Ryan is a superstar and Trent Daniels is... well, who ever heard of a youtube wrestling superstar?
Boos fly from the fans, but Ryan doesn't care at all. He drags Daniels to center ring and hits him with forearms, trying to beat his opponent unconscious. Sharplin tries to get Ryan to back off, but Ryan is unrelenting. He's already been surprised enough in this match, he's not holding back anymore. Finally he stops, and Sharplin goes to check on Daniels. Daniels is conscious, but his nose is bleeding and he looks like he's going to have some serious black eyes once the evening is done. But he does not give up. He gets to his knees. Ryan tries to drive his knee into Daniels' skull, but Trent ducks, and catches him with a school boy! One... two... Ryan kicks out, and this time connects with a stiff knee to Daniels' temple! Daniels crumples to the mat, and Ryan hooks the legs for the cover! One... two... Daniels gets his shoulder up at the last possible second! Ryan shoots a glare at Sharplin that causes the ref to step back a few feet. He hauls Daniels to his feet, then nails him with a superkick! Daniels is knocked to the floor!
JACK JONES: Ryan may want to end this quick. I don't think anyone expected Daniels to last this long.
Ryan goes to the floor to drag Daniels back into the ring. Daniels fires some lefts and rights into Ryan's midsection, but he's been weakened too much for them to have any impact. Ryan garbs Daniels in a bearhug, and goes to ram him into the ring post! Daniels manages to get a foot back on the floor and trips Ryan! They go down, Daniels squirms free, and nails a dropkick to the face of Ryan! Daniels to the ring apron, dives off with an elbow deep into the sternum of the go buster! The fans are on their feet as Daniels makes his comeback! Daniels back into the ring as Ryan tries to get to his feet. He does, and looks for his opponent...
DANIELS WITH A SPRINGBOARD CROSS BODY TO THE OUTSIDE!
BILL HEWSON: Trent Daniels fighting back after a brutal beating! This kid wants to make an impact more than anything!
JACK JONES: But he needs to make it in the ring. He learned the hard way last week, count outs don't get you the big prize!
Indeed, Daniels tries to get Ryan back in the ring, but there is a hundred pound weight difference, and Daniels is not having an easy time. He finally gets Ryan into the ring, and covers!
ONE!
TWO!
TH---Ryan with a shoulder up!
Daniels doesn't let up and quickly goes to the top rope --- moonsault! He goes for a cover!
ONE!
TWO!
TH---Ryan gets his foot on the bottom rope! Daniels looks almost heartbroken, but he doesn't let up. He hooks the side headlock, then hits a bulldog, driving Ryan's face into his knee! Ryan is down, and Daniels covers!
ONE!
TWO!
TH--- Ryan gets a shoulder up at the last second!
FRANK WARBURTON: One Minute remaining in this match!
BILL HEWSON: And all Trent Daniels needs is THREE SECONDS! This kid is on FIRE!
Irish whip attempt, Ryan reverses, lariat, Daniels ducks --- SCHOOL BOY!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE---
RYAN KICKS OUT!
Daniels thought that was it, but he knows he doesn't have time to waist! Daniels lays a forearm to the face of Ryan, then another. He hooks a front facelock, then tries to drag him to the turnbuckles! He sits on the top rope, and yells out for the System Crash! he grabs the back of Ryan's head and jumps off the ropes...
And Ryan hangs on, and reverses, tossing Daniels back first into the turnbuckle! Daniels falls in a heap on the mat. Ryan quickly clears the cobwebs, and grabs Daniels, putting him in position for the Humility Bomb! Daniels is plowed into the mat, and Ryan covers with less than thirty seconds to go in the match!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner, "THE EGO BUSTER" DAN RYAN!
BILL HEWSON: He came so close! Trent Daniels came so close to the huge upset... but all it took was one act of brutality, one patented Humility Bomb from Dan Ryan and ---
JACK JONES: And all of Trent Daniels' dreams went up in smoke. See that fans? That's what having HOPE gets you! SOUL CRUSHING DISAPPOINTMENT!
BILL HEWSON: Come off it.
The fans are disappointed, to be sure. Ryan won fair, but Daniels came so close. Ryan heads out to a chorus of boos as "Zero" plays.
BILL HEWSON: Not many people can take Dan Ryan to the limits like Trent Daniels did tonight. He came close to going to full twenty minutes, but it just wasn't to be. But I will say this: Everyone in the Canada Cup better be on their toes if they wind up facing this guy.
Trent slowly pulls himself to his feet using the ring ropes, and the fans give him a solid ovation for his effort. He looks out to the crowd, holding his neck. Disappointed... and yet...
JACK JONES: That was the last time I tried to sell bootlegged copies of "Beaches," I tell you what.
BILL HEWSON: Now you're just getting strange.
"THE CONNECTION IS MADE!"
OW! Elastic kicks it up with their mid-nineties chick-fronted snotty brit-grunge-pop-rock-type-stuff. The crowd gets to their feet, but quickly realize this new music brings out an old face, one they're not fond of --- as Heritage Champion Stone Zellor sweeps through the curtains, leading his girlfriend Lady Sparks by the hand. The duo is high on confidence and arrogance as they stride to the ring, Lady Sparks ready for action as well as Stone.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is scheduled for one fall at a twenty-minute time limit, and is a MIXED TAG! Introducing first... the team of LADY SPARKS and the NAPW Canadian Heritage Champion, STONE ZELLOR!
BILL HEWSON: Stone and Lady Sparks getting set to compete in NAPW's first-ever mixed tag match. The Heritage Champion of course not a fan-favorite as of late and who can blame the fans for feeling that way? Stone Zellor has used every cheap trick in the book to retain that Heritage title. Heck, he hasn't even WON a defense since gaining it back from Prince W. Darko!
JACK JONES: But he IS the champion, Hewson... and that's all that matters!
Stone holds the ropes for Sparks, who then undoes the Heritage belt from Stone's waist in the ring. Stone seems lost in the glint of gold, taking the belt from her hands and holding it up high. Then...
FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents... the team of ASUKA KATSURAGI and DEZ CARTER!
"Twinkle, Twinkle" plays the duo to the ring to a mega pop. Asuka is clearly dressed and ready to go in a red and black outfit that matches Dez's tights and boots. As she and Dez head into the ring, a shower of red and black streamers erupt from the crowd!
BILL HEWSON: The fans showing appreciation for Dez Carter's puroresu background, and this will be the first time NAPW fans get to see Asuka Katsuragi in action. Asuka herself is an accomplished professional wrestler in Japan. And that gives Dez and Asuka a huge experience over Stone and Lady Sparks.
JACK JONES: Stone's been training Lady Sparks, and that's all she needs. This isn't Japan, this is Canada!
BILL HEWSON: Touche, I guess. This will be an interesting match-up to say the least.
Referee John Sharplin assigned to this contest, sweeping the streamers out of the ring with help from some of the ring crew. He checks over both teams and then calls for the bell. It will be Stone and Dez starting off. Stone looks at Dez, shucking and jiving. The crowd boos the (admittedly smooth) rhythym. Dez doesn't crack a grin. Holds up a hand and waves for Stone to "bring it." Annnnd here we go! Collar-and-elbow tie-up, each man jockeying for position. This is a stern lock-up, but Dez gets to the corner. Sharplin calling for a break, Dez releases... clean break. Crowd almost seems surprised.
BILL HEWSON: You can see it in Dez Carter's eyes. He's here to wrestle, to beat Stone in the ring and prove he deserves another shot at the Heritage title... but he hasn't forgotten that it took over six staples to close the gash in the back of his head last week after Stone hit him from behind with the title belt. This is about more than just gold, this is personal!
Both men circling, the women watching from their respective corners. Again into a tie-up, it's serious. Carter and Stone trying to out-muscle one another, once again Dez forces Stone into the corner. Sharplin calls the break, Dez comes out clean OOOH. Stone SLAPS Dez over Sharplin's shoulders, right across the face! Stone looks to the crowd, grinning cockily. But when he turns his head back, Dez Carter NAILS him with a palm strike right to the forehead! A flurry of offense by Dez Carter on the Heritage champion, open-hand chops, forearm strikes, distance! Dez with a head of steam running high knee to the face of Stone! Zellor flops out of the corner and drops down, Carter looking for the Stretch Plumb! Zellor quickly gets to the ropes, and Sharplin calls a break. Stone looks up, Dez cracking his neck. Just the hint of a smile from Carter. Stone gets up, holding his head in pain, and angrily tags in Lady Sparks. Sparks seems surprised, but hesitantly gets into the ring to face Dez Carter. Carter looks to his corner.
Asuka is bouncing on the bottom rope, so very very anxious to get in.
Dez looks to the crowd, then to Asuka, to the crowd, to Asuka... and TAGS HER IN!
BILL HEWSON: Dez Carter a sportsman, he's not going to wrestle Lady Sparks... but Asuka Katsuragi GLADLY will!
Asuka flips into the ring and lands on her feet, then screams "KYAIIIIIII!" Lady Sparks almost bumps off of that, then charges at Asuka WHAM. SPINNING ROUNDHOUSE KICK knocks Lady Sparks right down to the canvas. Asuka pulls her up, CHOP to the chest! Lady Sparks gasps and tries to cover it, but Asuka rips her arms away and delivers another hard knife-edge chop right to the upper chest of Lady Sparks. Irish WHIP, Lady Sparks into the turnbuckle and Asuka follows up with a charging LARIAT into the corner! Monkey flip sends Sparks out, Asuka hits the ropes for a SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT! One, two, Lady Sparks somehow able to get a shoulder up. Asuka gets up and looks out to the crowd, she's almost shaking with energy and rage! Lady Sparks is getting up, being completely outworked here. Asuka is waiting, waiting, nails Sparks with a kick, bringing her down to a knee. SHINING WITCH TIME! Asuka hits the ropes
and STONE ZELLOR KNEES HER IN THE BACK!
Asuka staggers out as Dez Carter yells to the referee about the clear interference. Sharplin tells Stone to stay out of the match when he's illegal, but that was enough for Lady Sparks to grab a dazed Asuka and deliver a DDT that puts Asuka down. Lady Sparks covers, one, two, kick-out!
BILL HEWSON: And just when it looked like the match might be over before it begins, Stone Zellor turns the tide for his team with that cheap shot.
Lady Sparks pulls Asuka up and snap mares her down. Running neck-snap, shades of Mr. Perfect! Sparks crawls over hurriedly, trying to cover, Asuka again kicks out at the two. Lady Sparks now just showing her lack of experience but willingness to do what it takes, choking out Asuka on the canvas. Crowd getting on her case. Lady Sparks slaps Asuka across the face and puts her into the corner. Irish whip whip to the opposite, reversed! Sparks hits and comes out holding her back, Asuka bends her over! JUMPING ANGEL SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! That's all
ONE!
TWO!
TH---
STONE ZELLOR SAVES WITH A BOOT TO THE FACE OF ASUKA!
The crowd gets ANGRY.
BILL HEWSON: Come on! Stone Zellor just kicked a woman straight in the face! What kind of a man is he?
JACK JONES: It's a mixed tag match, Hewson, it's all legal! If Asuka didn't want to play with the boys, she shouldn't have signed up.
BILL HEWSON: You're right, but it's still low, and now what he's doing? Stone just pulled Sparks to his corner, and tags himself in! Oh no, Stone is going after Asuka!
Asuka slowly trying to make a tag to Dez, but Stone grabs her leg and pulls the less than 140 pound Asuka away from Dez. He easily scoops her up and slams her to the canvas, then drops an elbow drop right to the heart. Stone leans back and hooks a leg, one, two, Asuka kicks out! Stone shrugs, he's fine with this going on. He cinches in a headlock, but Asuka starts firing! Elbows to the midsection, she gets free --- Stone YANKS her by the hair and snaps her down to the canvas, back of her head impacting. Stone looks out over the crowd.
BOOOOO YOU JERK.
Stone soaks in the boos, then tags in Lady Sparks. He hits a back breaker on Asuka as Sparks goes to the middle rope, they've been practicing... and Sparks hits a sick leg drop across the throat of Asuka! Sparks greedily hooks the leg
ONE
TWO
TH KICK OUT!
Asuka won't die. Sparks begins to choke her out with both hands, screaming at Katsuragi. Sharplin gives her til the count of five, Sparks breaks finally. She growls at him, but he holds his ground. Sparks gets up, pulling Asuka to her feet by the hair. Suplex coming up --- blocked! Asuka gets her leg in the way. Sparks tries again, Asuka blocks once again, then reverses into a suplex of her own! Katsuragi inches towards her corner, but Stone rushes in once again and pulls her back. And this time Dez has had enough, he charges in ... only to be met with John Sharplin! The referee forcing Dez back to his corner, and while his back is turned, Sparks uses the tag rope to choke out Asuka. She lets go before Sharplin turns around, then once again tags in Stone Zellor.
BILL HEWSON: Stone Zellor and Lady Sparks have successfully cut the ring in half, but damn their tactics! Asuka desperately needs to make a tag!
JACK JONES: She needs Dez Carter to watch his temper and not make things worse for her! Some boyfriend!
Stone saunters around Asuka, talking smack to Carter as the dazed woman gets to her feet. Irish whip sends Asuka HARD into the turnbuckle, the woman SNAPPING back against the turnbuckles and slamming into the canvas. Crowd is hating Stone. Yet she gets up, dazed... and Stone spins around and levels her with his patented discus clothesline. "That's it!," he says! Stone climbs to the top rope... Asuka isn't moving. Here it comes, DIVING HEADBUTT, THIS IS ALL...
NOBODY HOME! Stone hits canvas!
ASUKA DIVES ... AND MAKES THE TAG!
BILL HEWSON: Here comes DEZ CARTER and HE IS A HOUSEAFAR!
JACK JONES: I hate HOUSES A FAR!
Stone gets lariated down, pops up, LARIAT, pops up, LARIAT THREE finally keeps Stone down! Carter hits the ropes and delivers SHINING WIZAAAAARD to the man! He goes for the cover ONE, TWO, Stone kicks out! Dez picks the man up, onto his shoulders! GO TO SLEEEEE---NO! LADY SPARKS WITH THE LOW BLOW! Dez crumbles to the canvas, and Stone is quick to pick his man up for the TOMBSTONE piledriver! Dez kicks his legs, trying to counter, he slides in behind! Stone whirls around and delivers a knee lift, then a clothesline that sends Dez to the ropes...
ROARING ELBOW!
Carter nails Stone and rocks him! Lady Sparks jumps on Dez' back just like last week, but this time Dez swings her off. Lady Sparks lands on her feet and charges, Dez side-stepping her INTO a forearm shot from Asuka! LUNGBLOWER PUTS SPARKS DOWN! A furious Zellor charges at Asuka, but she ducks the charge and instead takes out the knee! Asuka off the ropes SHINING WIIIIITCH! Stone pops up, punch drunk, HOISTED UP! DEZ WITH THE FIREMAN'S CARRY---
GOOOOOOOO TOOOOO SLEEEEEEEEEP!
CARTER COVERS ONE, TWO, THREEE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners, ASUKA KATSURAGI AND DEZ CARTER!
BILL HEWSON: Dez Carter has pinned the Heritage champion! Carter and Asuka win! How was THAT for NAPW's first mixed tag ever?
JACK JONES: Mixed. I can't believe Stone got pinned, I don't think he's been pinned since September!
BILL HEWSON: I think you're absolutely right, and finally Stone got what he deserved tonight. A tremendous victory for Dez Carter and Asuka Katsuragi here tonight, and could this finally spell the end for the Heritage Champion?
It spelled the end for his CONSCIOUSNESS, at least. Sparks is draped over a prone Stone in the corner as Dez raises Asuka's arm in victory. Asuka, of course, is super hyped and is only too happy to high-five the cheering fans around ringside. Carter hits the turnbuckle and makes the "I Want The Belt" motion, pointing down to Stone Zellor... who is clutching his heritage title dearly despite his KO.
JACK JONES: The cops came and asked me if I was Jack "Banana Pudding" Jones... and I was like,
BILL HEWSON: "Yes, You caught me, you caught the Pudding". You done stealing Ron White jokes?
JACK JONES: My trip to REBEL back in October made me just a tad bit redneck. I suddenly got the urge to use the word "witchadidya".
FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is the GRUDGE MATCH! One fall with a thirty minute time limit.
"I want everybody in this room to know... you still can't WHOOP ME!"
AK Forty's "Still can't Whoop Me" plays throughout the arena. Prince Darko comes out, and has an entourage. Ian Smith right by his side, we also see the NAPW Tag champs. They are carrying lawn chairs, and cases of beer. Dextro is rolling a cooler out as well. Darko gets in the face of a fan, spouting "Hit me mother f*cker", "Nah, you ain't got the balls to". Darko gets the mic from Frank Warburton. The crowd are throwing things at all the men, and not one person is clapping.
PRINCE DARKO: I don't need you to announce me. I am accompanied by the vicious, some say delicious, extreme entity, the NAPW Tag Team Champions of the F*cking Galaxy... S.A.D! I also have the manager of awesome wrestlers everywhere.. IAN SMITH. Now, let's introduce the man who is gonna whoop the shit out of Falcon. This man stands six foot one inches in standard wrestling boots. He weighs in at NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS! He hails from the Corner of CAN'T WHOOP ME STREET AND YOU STILL GARBAGE AVENUE, by way of the KINGDOM OF ZAMUNDA. He is the baddest mother f*cker in Edmonton, and tonight he will clip the wings of the "Falcon" once and f*cking for all! THE ZAMUNDA DRIVING, HEAD BASHING, GIRL FRIEND STEALING, CHAMPIONSHIP WINNING, ASS KICKING, HENNESSEY DRINKING, FLY SUMMA BITCH... PRINCE. W. DARKO! By the way, that's ME BITCHES!
The crowd is in a heat filled frenzy and absolutely loathe Darko.
"GO!"
"The Man Without Fear" by Drowning Pool f. Rob Zombie brings the crowd to their feet. The man is getting adored by the fans. He is bandaged on his head pretty heavily. The Falcon doesn't care though. Take it, throw it out the damn window, Jacob Venar is here to fight, not wrestle. Jacob is making his way to the ring as Darko continues to talk.
PRINCE DARKO: Hey Frankie, go sit on ya ass, cause I got this intro too. Introducing the loser. He stands at about five foot four, weighs about a feather, and is from NO BODY GIVES A SHIT VILLE, BRITISH COLUMBIA. He is the FALCON.. JACOB.. MY HEAD BLEEDS WELL FROM A CHAIR SHOT VEN-
VENAR RUNS INTO THE RING AND SPEAR FROM VENAR, AS THE BELL SOUNDS! Dick Kiebiech is letting them go at it. S.A.D is cheering on Darko, who is trying to get up, as they set up their chairs. Dextro sits in between them, holding their beers. In the ring it's a slug fest as Venar has Darko all in the corner, receiving shot after shot. Ian Smith yells at Dick Kiebiech and LOW BLOW BY DARKO. Venar is stopped dead in his tracks, and Darko taunts him. "I told your ass YOU CAN'T WHOOP--
BILL HEWSON: Venar just cut Darko off with a chop to the Adam's Apple.
JACK JONES: Cheap dirty tactics being used by The Falcon! Disqualify him!
BILL HEWSON: This match is under "relaxed rules," Jones... these two will need it!
The Falcon backs up some and goes for a super kick that is blocked. Darko sweeps the planted leg, while holding the other one. Darko with a leg drop between the legs, and gets warned by Dick Kiebiech. Darko responds with a "Suck my Prince Dick". Darko continues his assault, getting on the chest of Jacob, and then follows up with some forearm smashes to the head. Darko tears off the bandages and headbutts Jacob.
BILL HEWSON: Jacob is bleeding, this will not be good for him.
Prince Darko gets up and sees a fan with a Falcon T-Shirt on. Darko tells the fan that he ain't garbage, and he is gonna whoop his hero's ass. As this is going on, the slightly bleeding Falcon is up and throws Darko toward the turnbuckle, WAIT, IT'S REVERSED! Venar runs toward the corner, but jumps up to the top rope. Darko followed him, and WHISPER IN THE WIND CONNECTS!
S.A.D get up from their seats...
BILL HEWSON: This looks bad... wait a minute! Look who's coming out to even the odds!
The crowd pops! Out walk LDK and Teddy Davis. S.A.D sits down, and Rees and Davis proceed to get chairs and sit on the opposite side of the ring. Venar couldn't recover in time to get anything more than a two count. The crowd is chanting "FALCON"! Both men get up slowly, Darko seems to be the more dazed of the two. Venar runs at Darko, jumps, going for UNKINDNESS, but doesn't hit it. Why? Cause the Afro Wearing Alpha Male just POWER BOMBED HIS ASS HARD TO THE MAT.
JACK JONES: That move just shook the ring. Darko can't be whooped, END OF STORY!
Prince Darko covers for a two count, Venar gets a kick out. Darko tells the crowd that Venar is garbage, and "This is what we do to garbage in Zamunda." Darko proceeds to throwing Venar out the ring.. in front of S.A.D. Tommy Deathrow looks closely like he is going to do something, but then sees LDK get up from his chair. Venar hears the count get to seven and enters the ring. Darko wastes little time taking advantage and stomps Venar's head into the mat. Prince Darko has Venar on his back, and it's time for the ZAMUNDA YOKE! The Camel Clutch Sleeper is applied, and blood starts pouring faster, as Venar tries to get out. The strain causes more blood to pump. Venar is close to the ropes and reaches them. Kiebiech give a count, and it reaches four before Darko decides to let up.
JACK JONES: Darko has the advantage right now.
BILL HEWSON: Venar needs to get some momentum, and get things turned around.
JACK JONES: Five bucks says HE CAN'T WHOOP DARKO!
Darko is full of confidence. He takes his time getting Venar off the mat. Venar with some martial arts style thrusts to the stomach of Darko. Darko doubles over and Venar hits a RUNNING ROCKER DROPPER! The cover:
ONE!
TWO!
NOT THIS TIME KIDDIES! The match continues as Darko kicks out. Darko and Venar get up slowly. Venar backs away, as Darko heads toward a corner to catch his breath. Venar charges at Darko, Darko calls Dick Kiebiech over and STINGER SPLASH ON DICK KIEBIECH AND PRINCE DARKO! Both men go down, but Darko rolls out of the ring. Venar comes after him, and S.A.D spit beer at Jacob. Jacob jumps at S.A.D body pressing both members and Dextro. LDK and Teddy Davis vacate their chairs, and S.A.D start pummeling Venar. LDK and Tommy Deathrow hook up, as KKP and Teddy Davis start tangling. KKP grabs a steel chair and blasts Teddy Davis. Davis gets his arm up to block, and hits the ground. LDK gets a chair of his own, and smashes Tommy with it. Tommy starts to retreat to the back. He lays in the aisle way, holding his back where he got hit. KKP nails Teddy Davis in the arm again. He places the chair over the arm. He steps up on the guard rail.
BILL HEWSON: DON'T DO IT, IT'LL BREAK HIS ARM!
Krusty Kid Paul doesn't listen and CRACK! KKP lands with both feet and all his weight on the chair. A sick sound of a bone breaking can be heard by everyone. The crowd falls silent, with major concern for Teddy Davis. LDK charges with his chair and KKP exits along with Dextro and Tommy Deathrow. S.A.D peeks out the curtains and Rees sees them. He runs after them, making sure they stay away. Medical personnel come to attend to Teddy Davis.
With all this going on, Darko and Venar make it back in the ring. Both men up, Dick Kiebiech is slowly getting to his knees, then to his feet. Ian Smith yells something at Venar, and he turns around. OVER AND OUT EXECUTED! Darko doesn't cover though, and decides to mount the back of Jacob. Clubbing cross-face shots hit Venar over and over. Blood flowing like wine when it comes to Jacob. Darko gets off him, and covers.
ONE!
TWO!
KICK OUT!
Crowd goes wild, glad that it's not over. Darko isn't happy and tells the crowd that "he needs to lay Falcon OUT." Falcon rises and Darko charges with a STO attempt, but it's BLOCKED! ROCK BOTTOM FROM VENAR WHO WAS DESPERATE FOR ANYTHING! The wind exits the body of Darko. Venar waits for Darko to rise up and SUPERKICK CONNECTS. Venar climbs the turnbuckle.. MOONSAULT HITS. THE COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
WHERE THE HELL DID THE REF GO?
Dick Kiebiech was drug out of the ring. He is kicking Ian Smith out of the building. Darko takes the distraction and turns Venar around... ZAMUNDA DRIVER! The air was just sucked out of the whole arena. The fans booing very loudly, letting Darko know that he is a no good despicable piece of garbage. Passionate fans in attendance like always.
JACK JONES: Where's my five bucks Bill? It's over!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
WELL NOT QUITE, JACOB HAS A FOOOOT ON THE ROPE!
The crowd EXPLODES! Prince Darko started out with four supporters and is left with none. Venar is still down. Darko looks like someone stole his favorite afro pick. Darko doesn't know what to do. He reaches to get Venar up... INSIDE CRADLE! DARKO'S SHOULDER'S DOWN!
ONE!
TWO!
NOT A THREE!
The crowd gasps as they were hoping for a big Venar win. They are on the edge of their seats. FALCON chants pulsating through the crowd.
BILL HEWSON: This match is not over. Venar and Darko are going for broke tonight in Edmonton.
Prince Darko and Venar are both up. Darko runs at Venar... RUNNING DDT! Darko doesn't go over to make the cover. Instead he is going toward the ropes... JUST PERFECTION... MISSES. Darko tried for a springboard swanton but missed. Venar is up, STEP-UP ENZIGURI floors Darko! Venar heads to the corner. He is pretty far away from Darko. BUT HE FLIES ANYHOW... SPREAD MY WINGS! HIIIITTTS!
The cover!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
THE ROOF IS BLOWN OFF THE POLISH HALL! He maybe bloody, he maybe bruised, but he damn sure is a winner tonight. FALCON! FALCON!
FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of the match... THE FALCON JACOB VENAR!
-Intermission-
FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is scheduled for one fall at a thirty minute time limit!
MORTAL KOMBAAAAT. Wait. Well, pretty much. The crowd POPS as Mystic Ninja sweeps through the curtain, but he isn't sprinting to the ring. His demeanor is notably different from his usual happy-go-lucky self. Ninja heads to the ring, still slapping hands around the ring... he stops in front of his partner, The Expositioner, in street clothes... in a front row seat. Ninja high-fives Expo and then rolls into the ring.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, from a sushi restaurant in Chinatown, Vancouver BC... weighing two-hundred pounds, MYSTIC NINJA!
BILL HEWSON: Good to see Expositioner out here tonight... the man is of course not medically cleared to wrestle as a result of the throat injury sustained at Black Thursday. An injury given to him by the Sexy Adorable Drunks! Mystic Ninja is fighting for Expositioner's honor and vengeance tonight!
The music changes and then... Superjoint Ritual KICKS YOUR ASS. Accompanied by Ian Smith and Dextro, here comes the K K P ON A PIMPED OUT BLACK MOPED WITH FLAMES! Ian is holding an animal carrier, containing a four-legged cyclops chicken? Oooookay.
FRANK WARBURTON: Accompanied to the ring by Ian Smith and Dextro, from Kitchener, Ontario... weighing two-hundred and forty pounds, he is one half of the NAPW Tag Team Champions... KRUSTY KID PAUL!
BILL HEWSON: And just twenty minutes ago, Krusty Kid Paul broke Teddy Davis' arm! SAD are getting out of hand, Jack Jones!
JACK JONES: Well, I mean, KKP... he IS from Kitchener.
Ninja waits, not taking his eyes off of KKP. Paul snarls at some fans giving him hell, then gets into the ring. Referee John Sharplin has this one. He calls for the bell...
DING DING DING.
Mystic Ninja stands in the center of the ring. Ninja rubs his left cheek, as a way of telling KKP "take your best shot." KKP laughs, are you kidding him? Ninja says "you get the first shot. Take it. It's the only one you're going to get." KKP laughs --- and takes a good right to Ninja's cheek. It wasn't good enough, Ninja's still standing. KKP takes a shuffle side kick to the jaw for his efforts! KKP falls to the ground and rolls to the ropes, he sticks his head away from the ropes when he sees Ninja advancing. The ref holds Ninja back, but he Ninja won't settle for that bullshit, he grabs hold of KKP's boots, and yanks him away from the ropes. The crowd pops at the aggression in Ninja - it's unusual. Ninja brings KKP to his feet and right back down to the mat, head first - DDT.
No pinfall here, Ninja continues to apply the heat onto the downed KKP, with chest stomps and a standing moonsault to finish! KKP seems to be trapped in hell, with his face saying telling nothing more than a torture story. KKP is brought to his feet now, he tries to break out of the hold Ninja has him in, but it doesn't work. He's taken down to one knee, then enziguried! KKP returns back to the mat, face first. Ninja rushes to the turnbuckle and stalks at the top, he waits for KKP to rise. KKP stands again, and gets sent back to the mat with a heavy missile drop kick. This causes him to roll out of the ring, but he doesn't stay there for long. KKP gets DDTed on the outside, then sent back in the ring!
BILL HEWSON: Ninja is really aggressive tonight!
JACK JONES: Against a man like KKP, he better be! Because he won't be getting any "fair play" in return!
ONE!
TWO!
THREKICKOUT!
Ninja doesn't bug out, he gets back up and waits for KKP to stand up. KKP is up, and gets rushed at by an angry ninja. Hurricanrana--no, powerbomb! KKP musters a great reversal out of thin air almost.
BILL HEWSON: Paul really needed that, what a powerbomb!
JACK JONES: For once, I have to agree.
KKP picks up Ninja, sends him into the ropes only to return into a hellacious spinebuster. Ninja tries to place his hand on his back, but KKP denies him this chance, because he goes for the pin. One. Two. Kick out. KKP stomps on Ninja's chest not once, but twice. The crowd doesn't like this, not at all.
BILL HEWSON: Is he trying to make Ninja's chest cave in? We don't need another injury tonight!
KKP picks up Ninja by the mask, and lifts him up onto his shoulders...Samoan Drop. The impact on the canvas sends a message to the fans, a message saying that KKP is only here to hurt Ninja. Ninja holds ribs, working hard for air. KKP takes his boot and jabs Ninja's ribs. The crowd hates this - a lot. They give KKP a piece of their mind; he isn't bothered, not at all. To him, those boos mean he's doing his job correctly. So he returns to his job, and places an abdominal stretch. Ninja screams in agony, but it isn't over. KKP begins to add elbows to the mix, causing Ninja's eyes to widen. He yells in pain. KKP is bothered at all by these screams. He now drives his elbow deep into Ninja's ribs and begins to move them around. Ninja realizes his screaming won't get him anywhere, he has to fight back. Fists start to fly, KKP's head begins to bob and his grip begins to loosen up, and then he elbows Ninja, again. Ninja is put down...but not for long. He swings again, this time with more force, and he stays consistent. KKP lets his grip go; Ninja is free. Ninja tries to stand up, he makes it to one knee, he sees KKP coming his way, he sweeps him down, causing KKP to hit the mat head first. KKP tries to roll away from Ninja, but his plan fails. Ninja grabs hold of that ten inch black Mohawk, and sends him into a turnbuckle. Ninja rushes after KKP; KKP side steps and sends Ninja into the turnbuckle, but Ninja climbs to the top rope and moonsaults himself onto KKP and hooks the leg.
ONE.
TWO.
KICK OUT!
BILL HEWSON: It doesn't seem like either man wants to stay down.
JACK JONES: Good, it makes for a better match.
KKP and Ninja stand up now, and stare each other in the eyes, KKP tries to mouth something, but receives a kick to the jaw like earlier in the match. KKP gets retired into the corner, and takes a kick to the chest and a high kick to the face. THE KICKS! SUCH KICKS! Ninja takes out of corner and to the center of the ring. There, he kicks him in the stomach and rushes to the ropes and returns with drop kick to the side of his head. While on the mat, Ninja favors his ribs and KKP nurses his head. KKP gets back up before Ninja can. KKP realizes Ninja's ribs are aching badly and makes a strong mental note, as strong as the boot he sends to Ninja's ribs. The crowd is heated with the lack of respect and honor KKP has for another wrestler - they boo him again. KKP taunts at them; more boos. He turns back around to Ninja, he manages to drop kick KKP's right knee, causing him to lose balance and rest on one knee. Even though his ribs aren't in the best condition, Ninja fights through the pain and gets back up before KKP can get to both legs and DDTs him hard into the mat.
ONE
TWO
KICK OUT!
BILL HEWSON: So close! Mystic Ninja has to be asking himself, what's it going to take to keep Krusty Kid Paul down?
Ninja gets onto his knees and shakes his head in disappointment. He looks into the front row and sees Expositioner rooting him on. He grabs hold of his ribs and stands up, and makes his way to the outside of the ring. There, he can stand on the apron and wait for KKP to stand. Ninja doesnŐt have to wait long, he looks over at Expositioner, and points at him and pounds his chest, where his heart is. "X-POUND!" X-Pound! He takes KKP back down into the mat, and he's still punching KKP. KKP tries to protect his face, but it doesn't do much, Ninja's done enough damage. KKP's now busted up thanks to Ninja, the crowd likes this a lot, hence the pop. Ninja hooks the leg.
ONE
TWO
THREKICK OUT.
Ninja gets off of KKP and moves over to the ropes. KKP gets up, and is greeted by a speeding ninja. KKP is able to think quick and powerslam Ninja. ONE! TWO! HE PULLS THE SHOULDERS UP! The crowd boos at the overconfidence that radiates from KKP. He brings Ninja to his feet and scoops him up. He drops Ninja onto his knee one time, two time, three time, now he brings Ninja onto his shoulders. Ninja is tossed off KKP's shoulder and lands on KKP's knee...rib first. Ninja drops to the mat, favoring his ribs rolling in pain; a hard sight for a fan to watch, let alone Expositioner, who quenches in sympathy. KKP covers.
ONE
TWO
KICK OUT
KKP covers, again.
ONE
TWO
THKICK OUT.
KKP covers, again.
ONE
TWO
THREKICK OUT.
KKP swears. He doesn't cover, no, not this time. He grabs hold of Ninja's neck with his left hand and tries to pull Ninja's mask away. This doesn't sit well with the fans, they give KKP some heat but it ends up fueling his fire. The ref should be warning KKP about being disqualified, but, Dextro is on the apron, keeping him away from the match. The ref has finally had enough, and threatens to send Dextro to the back. Dextro takes these words and gets off the apron. The ref looks over at KKP, who's still choking Ninja. He now warns KKP about a disqualification... KKP stands apathetic to his words; his grip stays the same. Ninja sends a punch KKP's nose. KKP frees his hold and attends to his nose. Ninja starts to regain his breath and fixes his mask, and returns back to work. He brings KKP to his feet and delivers a roundhouse to KKP's temple - KKP's head bobbles all the way down to the mat. KKP may be knocked out, Ninja hurries in a pin.
ON
TWO
THRE HOLD ON!
BILL HEWSON: What the hell is this?
Ninja breaks his pin and notices STD coming down to the ring with a chair in hand. He and Dextro (who has just grabbed a chair) and Ian Smith make their way towards Expositioner. Unfortunately for them, Expositioner isn't feared at all, he throws his dukes up, waiting to scrap.
BILL HEWSON: Oh come on --- Expositioner is prepared to defend himself but we know he's not at 100%! Somebody stop this! Somebody --- NINJA!
Ninja's now angered, he gets up from his spot and hits the ropes. STD and Dextro are ready to go, Expo points up! "LOOK UP!" They do --- NINJA WITH A SLINGSHOT CROSSBODY...
HITS CONCRETE as Dextro and STD calmly walk out of harm's way. Ian talks trash to Mystic Ninja as Expositioner looks ready to jump the gate. But STD just laughs at him as Dextro and he roll Ninja into the ring. Ninja is dazed, and he stands up, not sure where he is ---
WHAM.
KKP hooks Ninja for a BOTTLE OPENER! Dumps Ninja right on his head, then floats over for a SICK elbow drop!
ONE
TWO
BILL HEWSON: NOT LIKE THIS!
THREE
FRANK WARBURTON: And your winner of this match. KRUSTY (BOOOOO) KID (BOOOOOOOOOO) PAUL (BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)
The fans are infuriated with the results...
But it isn't over.
STD and Dextro enter the ring - with chairs. They place a chair around Ninja's neck as the crowd gasps in horror.
BILL HEWSON: They want to crush his throat, they want to end him the same way they did Expositioner. This is sick! Somebody stop this! The SAD are out of control!
Ninja is about to get his neck destroyed ...
BUT INJURY OR NO
Expositioner will not allow them to do this on his partner! He explodes from behind the guard rail with no concerns for what the doctors told him. He's in the ring, KKP swings a chair at him...it's deflected back into KKP's face with a superkick! KKP FALLS OUT OF THE RING! Ian yelps and gets the hell out of Dodge! STD approaches Expositioner and gets sent out of the ring. It's now just Dextro and Expositioner. Dex swings, BLOCKED...
Dextro gets hit with X Marks The Spot!!!
And the fans pop the heads off. SAD and Ian retreat away with the tag belts... KKP won the match, but Expo just made his MARK.
BILL HEWSON: Something tells me that this isn't over... not by a long shot. But something has to be done about these Drunks!
JACK JONES: Give 'em a raise, I say!
KKP walks his moped off to the back, while STD and Ian help Dextro into the sidecar. In the ring, Ninja and Expositioner high-five. What is the next chapter in this saga?
BILL HEWSON: Sexy Adorable Drunks need to be stopped.
JACK JONES: From what? Being sexy? Adorable? Or drunk?
BILL HEWSON: Well, I'd argue about the first two, but the third one is a definite "yes." Along with trying to injure half the damned roster. Dan Miller had a point this past week, why is Tommy Deathrow, and by extension the SAD, given so much leeway?
JACK JONES: It's in his contract, Hewson. Superstar Rules for every match, it's been like that since he started in this fed.
BILL HEWSON: Did you ever think maybe that's not right? Why do Tommy Deathrow and Krusty Kid Paul get preferential treatment? That's another man they've put out of action, in Teddy Davis, in two straight shows!
JACK JONES: And they're the tag team champions, so they're doing SOMETHING right.
BILL HEWSON: Well we're not going to agree on this one. But I think we WILL both agree that up next is one of the biggest - and most surprising - main events in the history of NAPW. For the past four months, both Stylin' Kyle Roberts and Bruce "The Beast" Richards have had their problems with one Donovan Astros... and now tonight, for the first time in one year, Richards and Roberts will team up. It is ONE NIGHT ONLY, Murder City Devils vs The New & Improved D-X. Let's go to Frank.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the main event of the evening. The following tag team contest is set for one fall at a sixty minute time limit. Now, introducing the competitors...
The METAL hits. "Duke Nukem" by the one and only Megadeth beats up the PA and pisses on it, no, sorry, plays from it (angrily). The crowd can only boo with all their might the two men who walk through the crowd. Donovan Astros, the world championship belt around his waist, enters first, smirking. The big man follows second, his usual expression of "hate the world" on his ugly kisser. Astros preens on the way to the ring; Phoenix stalks. But either way, the crowd lets them know what they think.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, at a total combined weight of five-hundred and sixteen pounds... first, from Fort Lauderdale Florida, JAKE PHOENIX! His partner, from Los Angeles California, he is the reigning NAPW WORLD CHAMPION... DONOVAN ASTROS! They are the MURDER CITY DEVILS!
Jake steps over the top rope and crosses his arms. Astros holds the title belt high with both hands, eyes closed in rapture as the fans' hate washes over him.
BILL HEWSON: Astros wouldn't even be World champ if it wasn't for Jake Phoenix.
JACK JONES: But he is. And nothing you or anybody else can change that.
BILL HEWSON: I honestly don't know who is worse, Donovan Astros or the legendary Chris Casino. But both men know how to give NAPW fans a damned asteroid of coal right before christmas...
Megadeth fades out, and the crowd hushes. The buzz builds. Astros and Phoenix talk strategy, but it's clear that even they recognize the electricity in the building.
Then...
"Low."
FRANK WARBURTON: And THEIR OPPONENTS! At a total combined weight of five-hundred and twenty-seven pounds... one hails from Moose Jaw Saskatchewan, he is the REIGNING REBEL World Heavyweight Champion! The other hails from St. Albert Alberta, the former NAPW World Champion! Together they are FIVE-TIME NAPW Tag Team Champions! Ladies and gentlemen... STYLIN' KYLE ROBERTS! BRUCE "THE BEAST" RICHARDS! THE NEW & IMPROVED... DEEEEEEEEEEE ---- EXXXXXXXXXXXX!
Oh yes. The crowd asplode.
Stylin' Kyle and The Beast come out, Kyle in shades and a horrendous green hooded jacket, The Beast in his duster and cowboy hat. The two men stand in front of the entrance way, looking out over the crowd chanting "WELCOME BACK! WELCOME BACK! THANK YOU D-X! THANK YOU D-X!" And the match hasn't even started dammit.
BILL HEWSON: It was just under three years ago that NAPW held it's first show on Hallowe'en night in 2005! It was on that show these fans first saw this team of Richards and Roberts... and love them or hate them, no team has come CLOSE to matching their level of success in the tag team ranks! We all thought we would never see these two together again, but here and now, in Edmonton on January 29th, 2008... THE NEW & IMPROVED D-X RIDE AGAIN!
JACK JONES: I've got goosebumps, this place has come unglued!
Roberts and The Beast take their time to the ring. In many ways, they are the mirror images of the Murder City Devils, Roberts flashy, cocky, showboating, The Beast much more... direct. But tonight they are, once again, a UNIT. And the five-time tag champs are in no hurry, enjoying the moment, letting the fans enjoy it, and most importantly --- totally driving Astros batty.
Finally D-X enter the ring, Kyle flexing his biceps as The Beast stands, his gaze burning holes in the Murder City Devils. Phoenix snorts. Roberts and Richards remove their respective vestments, Beast never taking his eyes off of the Devils. And then we get all four men standing face to face, senior referee Dick Kiebiech somehow trying to stay between them. Astros talking some trash. The Beast. Jake Phoenix. Stylin' Kyle Roberts. Donovan Astros. Just when it seems like it's all going to break out, the teams back off and head to their corners...
DING DING DING.
BILL HEWSON: There's the bell and it will be Stylin' Kyle Roberts and Donovan Astros starting this match off!
Roberts and Astros circling, there is no love lost between these two men. Collar and elbow tie up Nope! Roberts drops to his back and rolls outside the ring, raising his arms like he's just won the Superbowl. The crowd laughs at Astros' expense, infuriating the NAPW champ. Roberts talks a run around the ring. Back on the apron, he looks out over the crowd, then back at Astros. "SMARTER THAN YOU." "Get back in the ring, you pussy!" Ooh. Them's fighting words. Astros and Kyle nose-to-nose, and then we get a lock-up, no, Astros goes to the eyes. With Kyle staggered, Astros snapmares the man down and then kicks him in the back stiffly. Roberts gets up and wants some of Astros, eats an arm drag for his trouble. Astros holds the arm, now he's got his trademark grin back. "Who's smarter than WHO?" Roberts forces his way to a standing position, Astros still holding the armbar. Kyle reverses it, switching to a hammerlock. Back suplex, Astros flips out at the apex, GRABS THE ARMS --- ASTROCIDE! Kyle immediately struggles to counter, Astros trying to turn him, Roberts able to break free, grabs the legs, BEAR-TAMER, Astros won't get turned over, Roberts trying, Astros fighting... grabs the ropes. Kiebiech tells Kyle to break, Kyle thinks about it while Kiebiech counts... then hits a CATAPULT on Astros that sends him face first into the turnbuckle! Whump. Astros staggers backwards, Kyle rolls him up FLASH PIN ONE TWO KICK-OUT!
BILL HEWSON: Roberts with a near-fall right there! Astros last two defeats have been as a result of those quick pinning situations, flash pins if you will. It's a weakness Stylin' Kyle Roberts also shares... and that means he knows how to exploit it!
JACK JONES: As much as the fans would love to see D-X win this one, I'm pretty sure they'd riot if this match was over that fast. Besides, the Murder City Devils aren't going down without a fight. They're not impressed by the "five-time Tag Champion" tag, Hewson.
BILL HEWSON: The Devils aren't impressed by very much, except their own damn selves.
Kyle holds a thumb and a finger up, signifying to Astros that it was "THIS close." Astros snarls and stalks over to his corner, tagging in the big man, the brawler... Jake Phoenix. Jake steps over the top rope, punching a fist into an open palm. Kyle looks at Phoenix, and makes a quick decision. He gets ready to tie up... then sprints to his corner and tags in a waiting Bruce Richards. "All yours, partner." The Beast enters the ring, and now it's time for the two power members to take it on.
Jake sneers down at The Beast, having six inches above him, but they're close in weight, both men big and powerful. Tie-up? Nah, Phoenix punches Beast in the face! Return fire! We've got a damned brawl here! Phoenix and Beast exchanging fisticuffs, Phoenix with a big kneelift to gain the advantage. Irish whip on the Beast, clothesline attempt is ducked by The Beast, rebound into a leaping shouldertackle by The Beast, which staggers Jake Phoenix. The Beast picks the man up, looking for a T-Bone suplex, Phoenix drives elbows into the back of Beast's head. Jake backs off the ropes for momentum and gets a clothesline that rocks The Beast, but doesn't quite take him down. Phoenix with some big soupbones stuns The Beast, then scoops him up over his shoulder and slams him down to the canvas. Big elbow drop by Phoenix hits MAT. Beast punches a rising Phoenix in the face, again, Phoenix cuts him off with another soup bone, irish whip, reversed this time, SNAP powerslam by The Beast puts Phoenix down! One --- only one. Phoenix kicks out with power. The Beast pummels him into the corner, then gets some distance. STINGER SPLASH! 270 pounds flying through the air, squashing Phoenix in the corner. Phoenix slumps back in the corner, and Beast unloads with a big chop. He calls for another splash... this time Phoenix gets the big size 16 boot up in the face of Richards! BIG BOOT! That takes Richards down, but Phoenix doesn't bother covering, instead going down and punching Beast straight in the head! Kiebiech counts, Phoenix breaks just before five and then gets up, raising his arms in dominance. The crowd lets him know what they think of him.
JACK JONES: The REAL beast of NAPW is standing tall, Bill Hewson! Jake Phoenix retired Ravager and tonight, he and Astros will end the legend of D-X!
BILL HEWSON: Astros and Phoenix would love nothing more than to leave here tonight the winners, and remember... if the Devils win, The Beast will NOT get a shot at the NAPW title as long as Donovan Astros is champion. If D-X wins, The Beast gets to choose any stipulation he wishes for a title rematch with Astros! The stakes are high in this one!
JACK JONES: And smart money is on Richards not being champion for a long, long time... because Donovan Astros isn't going to lose that belt for a long, long time!
Phoenix slugs Beast, then tags in Astros. Irish whip by Phoenix, Astros catches Beast with a drop toe-hold. What's this? Astros grabs the arms of Beast and pulls them up, sticking a foot between Beast's shoulderblades. Version of a surfboard, but Beast isn't about to submit. Astros knocks it off, then points to Kyle and says "I'm going hit a dropkick to the FACE!" Crowd boos Astros clear attempt at mocking Roberts, but the champ pulls Beast up with a handful of hair, measures him... standing dropkick.
Hits nothing, because Beast casually sidestepped and Astros hit canvas with no score.
Astros gets up, Beast hooks up a Cobra Clutch... and then lifts Astros high into the air and BOMBS him into the canvas the hardway! But no cover, instead, Beast tags into Stylin' Kyle Roberts. D-X hit a double irish whip on the world champion... NEW & IMPROVED DOUBLE ARM-DRAG OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR! Jake Phoenix don't like that, he storms in, Beast ducks the clothesline and Kyle low bridges the top rope, sending Phoenix out ON TOP OF ASTROS! The crowd is loving this, and then Kyle points to Beast! Kyle points to the rising Devils on the outside! "Outsider" point to The Beast...
BEAST OUTTA CONTROL SUICIDE NO-HANDS PLANCHA ON THE MURDER CITY DEVILS!!!
BILL HEWSON: AIR BEAST WITH AN EMERGENCY CRASH LANDING! And D-X is gaining momentum with the classic teamwork that brough them to five tag titles!
The Beast unceremoniously bundles Donovan Astros back into the ring and gets back into the ring. Tag into Roberts! Snap suplex puts Astros down, floatover into a cover one, two, that's it. Jake Phoenix has made his way back to the Devils corner and wants in. Astros reaches out for a tag, but Kyle stomps on his hand instead! Yowch! Astros yells in pain, getting to his feet... exposing himself to a Kyle Roberts bulldog! Roberts yells to the crowd: "WHO'S THE MAN?"
"YOU ARE!"
Then Kyle brings a finger to his lips. Shhh. The crowd quiets down, and Kyle points at Astros. "Now I'm going to hit the dropkick... to the FACE!" CGNU! Kyle pulls Astros up, measures the man... DROPKICK TO THE FACE!
JACK JONES: I thought The Expositioner was injured! What an insult to the NAPW World Champion!
BILL HEWSON: From one champion to another! D-X is taking firm control!
Astros trying to get to his corner, Roberts quick to grab a headlock and keep him away from Phoenix's outstretched hand. Astros counters with a back suplex! The world champion kicks Roberts in the gut, ASTROLABE, no dice, Roberts shoves him off! Astros comes back from the ropes with a forearm shot to Roberts' forehead, NOW tries for a tag --- but Astros grabs him from behind and delivers a German Suplex, sending Astros all the way back to the D-X corner.
And then, Stylin' Kyle runs up to Phoenix and slaps him in the face! The big man loses his temper and enters the ring... Dick Kiebiech right there to send him back to his corner! Phoenix almost shoves Kiebiech out of the way, forcing the ref to physically try to restrain Phoenix.
JACK JONES: Hey ref! Turn around! Come on!
BILL HEWSON: And while Kiebiech is distracted by Jake Phoenix, D-X are double-teaming Donovan Astros in the corner. And the crowd LOVES it!
JACK JONES: The cold has addled their brains! This is a travesty!
BILL HEWSON: They didn't become five-time tag team champions without knowing how to cut the ring in half and use teamwork, Jones! Love it or hate it, this is what D-X do BEST!
Roberts claps his hands together and Beast comes in. Kiebiech finally has Phoenix back to his corner - Jake doesn't want to LOSE to D-X, even by DQ --- and turns around to see The Beast hoist Astros up high in a gorilla press! Kyle says "you heard the tag, right?" CLAP. Kiebiech shrugs and lets it go as Beast presses Donovan Astros high above his head, then simply drops him behind him. Astros rises up, then collapses back onto the canvas. Beast with a quick cover, one, two, Astros able to get out. Beast holds the man up with an abdominal stretch and tags into Roberts, who hops to the 2nd turnbuckle. Axhandle to the exposed ribs of Donovan Astros! Donovan hisses, again trying to walk over to his side of the ring, but Roberts quick to stop that. Irish whip --- TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER! Astros holding his back in pain now, Roberts follows up with a stiff kick to the back! Tag into The Beast, but Roberts isn't done in the ring yet. Kiebiech is counting as Roberts gets down on one knee? Richards picks up Astros SCOOP SLAM on Roberts' exposed knee! Oh man! Astros in clean pain on the canvas, and Roberts takes the opportunity to go for the BEAR-TAMER!
AND GETS IT LOCKED IN!
Roberts sits back, knee right into Astros' back, bending the world champion in half! The crowd chants "TAP TAP TAP TAP!" Roberts roars back
And Jake Phoenix rushes in and hits a big boot to the face, saving the match for his team!
JACK JONES: How can these idiots boo Phoenix for that and cheer D-X for all their blantantly ILLEGAL moves? Honestly!
BILL HEWSON: Because they're Stylin' Kyle Roberts and Bruce "The Beast" Richards, the NEW&IMPROVED DEEEEE-EEEXXXX---
JACK JONES: SHILL! SHILL! SHILL!
BILL HEWSON: Nonetheless, Donovan Astros needs to make that tag desperately! He is the World Champion, but in this match D-X are clearly the superior team... and this is the best chance he's had all evening!
Astros is trying to make the tag as Roberts recovers from that brutal big boot. He's crawling, he's almost there, Phoenix yelling to "(BLEEP) hurry it up, bitch!" Astros snarls but is almost there... ALMOST THERE ---
And Kyle Roberts pulls him back across the ring! The crowd loves it, they're loving seeing Astros take the beating of his lifetime. Tag back into The Beast, and Astros gets whipped hard into the turnbuckle. Now Kyle whips Beast... reversed... KYLE with a splash into Astros in the corner! Now here comes THE BEAST with a stinger splash of his own! Astros gets squashed! He comes out, Beast hooks him, T-Bone suplex! BEAST CHARGE, knocking Phoenix off the apron! Tag into Stylin' Kyle Roberts once more, as Phoenix charges into the ring. Roberts yells to the referee to stop him, Kiebiech does, and with his back turned Kyle and Beast pummell Roberts in the corner. It's almost comical how bad of a beating Astros is taking. Phoenix snarls but gets back to his corner, the monster is fixing to blow a gasket here. Kiebiech turns around, and Kyle says "it's over!" Astros seems out of it, and Roberts picks the man up... EMERALD FUSION.
No, Astros struggles! He gets out of it! Roberts turns around and grabs Astros from behind for another german LOW BLOW
*blinks*
Wait a minute, KIEBIECH IS DOWN TOO!
BILL HEWSON: I don't believe it --- Astros hit both Kyle Roberts AND the referee with that low blow! Kiebiech was too close to the action... WAY too close!
JACK JONES: DONOVAN ASTROS IS THE GREATEST WRESTLER EVER!
BILL HEWSON: But now he can't even make a tag! Kiebiech is down!
JACK JONES: Exactly... DICK KIEBIECH IS DOWN!
BILL HEWSON: What are you ---
Kiebiech is down, and that means Jake Phoenix is getting INTO THE DAMN RING! He LEVELS Roberts with a huge big boot that floors the man! Here comes The Beast! He slugs away at Phoenix, the two big men going toe to toe! But since Phoenix doesn't have to worry about getting DQed, he gladly gouges the Beast's eyes! Richards momentarily blinded, and that's all Jake Phoenix needs to hook him up
CHOKESLAM!
No, Roberts runs in to save ---
AND GETS GOOZLED AS WELL!
"(BLEEP) BOTH OF YOU!"
DOUBLE CHOKESLAM!
Phoenix grab Astros by the back of the tights and literally throws the man to the Devils corner, then hauls Kiebiech up by the collar. Kiebiech is still holding his jewels as Phoenix says "NOW WATCH." Kiebiech is witness to Astros making a tag to the fresh.
Angry.
Totally just not a nice dude.
Jake Phoenix.
JACK JONES: JAKE PHOENIX IS A HOUSEAFAR!
Phoenix slugs Roberts, then Richards. Kyle Roberts is the legal man but Phoenix doesn't give a crap, he's punching everything inside that ring NOT wearing zebra stripes. And Kiebiech's fortunate at that! Now he's working on Roberts, hammering him in the corner. "Think you're so (BLEEP) smart huh? HOW SMART ARE YA KNOW?" WHAM! Phoenix looking to smash Kyle good, but Beast whips him around! Richards punches Phoenix in the face... a dazed Kyle is able to join in! Roberts! Richards! Roberts! TRADEMARK BACK AND FORTH PUNCHING --- KNEELIFT. Phoenix stuns Beast, then elbows Roberts down, and finally CLOTHESLINES The Beast over the top rope to the floor! The crowd is booing, Phoenix holds up a middle finger to let them know what HE thinks of THEM. Finally, Roberts is in trouble... Phoenix waiting for the man to get up! SCOOPED! TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! And that is ALL!
Phoenix covers ONE!
TWO!
THREE----
NO! NO! BEAST PULLS THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING!
BILL HEWSON: And THAT is vintage D-X!
JACK JONES: WHY ARE THEY CHEERING THIS??? Kiebiech, disqualify them!
BILL HEWSON: Richards took a huge risk there, but NOBODY gets up from the Tombstone piledriver!
Kiebiech is indeed furious with Richards, but The Beast doesn't care. Phoenix looks down from ringside, saying "You've got to (BLEEP) kidding me." Beast heads back to his corner as Kiebiech slides back in. Stylin' Kyle still hasn't moved, and Phoenix says, fine, we'll do this AGAIN. He picks Roberts up by the hair, Kyle doesn't seem to be at all alive... NO INSIDE CRADLE!
ONE!
TWO!
PHOENIX KICKS OUT!
Roberts tries to get to his corner, Phoenix cuts him off by pretty much jumping on him and punching him in the back of the head. "COME ON BEAST!" He snarls. Phoenix pulls Roberts up and tosses him into the Murder City Devils corner, where he proceeds to fire away with repeated punches! To the face, face, and then a series of furious rabbit punches to the mid-section of Kyle. Tag into Astros, who finally seems ready to go again. Astros chops Kyle in the corner, keeping him there. What's this? Astros climbing to the top, ahold of Kyle's arm...
STEELE TOWER!
ONE!
TWO!
TH---BEAST WITH THE SAVE!
Astros screeches for Kiebiech to send Beast out of the ring! While he does, Astros chokes Roberts on the bottom rope. Astros yells directions at Phoenix! Astros hits the ropes... slides to the outside! Uppercut to the face of Roberts! PHOENIX with a running knee/squash to the back of Kyle's head and shoulders, still on the bottom rope! Kyle is in a world of trouble, as Astros slides into the ring. ASTROCIDE time! And no way Kyle is blocking this one ---
Beast rushes into the ring to save! Astros screeches for Kiebiech to block him, and Kiebiech does! Astros smirks, time to deliver the deathblow ---
ROBERTS WITH A LOW BLOW ON ASTROS! Wait a minute! Astros drops down in gasping pain! Phoenix charges into the ring... STYLESKICK OUT OF NOWHERE! Phoenix staggers backwards, only held up by the ring ropes!
Kiebiech turns around and sees three men down! He doesn't know how or why Phoenix is in, but he starts counting. Turns out he doesn't have long to wait, as Astros is up, though holding his crotch in pain. But Stylin' Kyle Roberts is crawling to his corner... Jake Phoenix grabs his leg! "C'MERE YOU BITCH!" Roberts hopping on one foot ---
OWEN-ZIGURI!
HOT TAG BRUCE "THE BEAST" RICHARRRRRRRRDS!
BILL HEWSON: KATY, BAR THE DOOR! It's bustin' loose in E-TOWN!
ASTROS GETS CLOTHESLINED! PHOENIX GETS CLOTHESLINED! Scoop slam for Astros! Phoenix punches Beast, irish whip, Beast reverses and SPINEBUSTER ON THE BIG MAN! Shakes the ring! And now The Beast...
IS UNLEASHED.
Beast picks the man up... here it comes! CAN HE?
CHART ATTACK ---
Astros charges Beast! GETS A BIG BOOT TO THE FACE for his troubles! But that was all the time Phoenix needed to regain his wits, and he shifts his weight to drop off behind Beast. He spins him around, punching Beast right in the adam's apple. Wait --- TOMBSTONE!
Beast kicks and slides off behind Jake Phoenix!
STYLESKICK!
Phoenix doesn't go down! But he turns around, dazed, and gets scooped up onto Beast's shoulders...
CHART ATTACK! CHART ATTACK! CHART ATTAAAAAAACK!
Phoenix rolls out of the ring, what a combination he just suffered! Wait a minute, Astros tries to grab Kyle from behind! Aztecan Suplex, Beast with a BIG BOOT on Astros to the face! The World champion is down, and both members of the New & Improved D-X are UP. Kyle looks at Astros, the man somehow getting up, slowly, and gives the fans the choice. Thumbs up? Thumbs down?
The Beast shakes his head.
TWO THUMBS DOWN.
Phoenix is still down on the outside! Astros is getting up, and he sees a D-X member on either side! His face registers his predicament as Kyle boots him in the gut! Off the Ropes--- POLAR-IZER! The Beast has climbed to the top rope ---
MOONSAULT CONNECTS!
BILL HEWSON: DONOVAN ASTROS HAS JUST GOTTEN DOWN & DIRTY! BEAST COVERS THE MAN! ROBERTS BLOCKS! ONE! TWO! THREEEEE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners by pinfall... STYLIN' KYLE ROBERTS! BRUCE "THE BEAST" RICHARDS! THE NEW & IMPROVED DEEEEEE-EXXXXXXXX!
JACK JONES: What a travesty this is! This was a travesty of justice! D-X broke every rule in the book!
BILL HEWSON: D-X WIN! D-X WIN! And now... The Beast gets to choose any stipulation he wants in a WORLD TITLE rematch against the man laying in the center of the ring, the man he JUST pinned --- Donovan Astros! What a night this has been! For Jack "Attack" Jones, this is Bill Hewson saying GOOD-NIGHT!
Jake Phoenix is up on the outside, holding his head, looking into the ring in disgust. He snarls and turns to walk back down the aisle. Astros can walk out on his own.
But for the fans, all that matters right now is that for ONE NIGHT ONLY, Stylin' Kyle and The Beast reunited... and reminded the world why they WERE and ARE one of the best tag teams in wrestling! They hit the corners to pose, and Beast makes the "title" motion around his waist. Donovan Astros has had a bad January...
Ah screw him. D-X! D-X! D-X!