***DVD EXTRA***
Backstage, Esteban is getting ready for his match. The camera angles from behind him, and it keeps on pulling on closer. He pulls out a bottle of Gatorade, opens it, and takes a swig. He sets out his ring gear on the bench beside him, grabs a towel and heads to the shower.
The shower is turned on, and from the right side of the screen, Wayne Wright pokes his head in and looks around. He creeps into the locker room, grabs the Gatorade bottle and opens it. From the satchel he's got over his shoulder, he pulls out a bag of white powder, and shakes a portion of the bag into the bottle. He silently twists the lid back on, shakes the bottle to mix in the powder, and exits the room, a wicked grin on his face.
BILL HEWSON: And next Jack we have a "Toughen Up Match". Partners will go one on one here.
JACK JONES: I think this match is BS, Hewson! I mean, why should Teddy Davis and David Gage have to step in the ring against one another? These guys are partners damn it! The Dogs of Evil!
BILL HEWSON: Jack, Davis wanted this match. He claims that Gage was not pulling his own weight.
JACK JONES: I still think it's stupid to have partners fighting each other...
BILL HEWSON: Doesn't much matter what you think, this one is about to get underway.
Frank Warburton has the microphone in the middle of the ring.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is a "Toughen Up" Match!
"New Age Messiah" by Edguy hits the speakers of the Ogden Legion.
FRANK WARBURTON: Coming to the ring first, from Chatsworth, Ontario weighting in at one hundred and ninety pounds...TEDDDY DAVISSS!
Davis makes his way to the ring, loud booing from the NAPW faithful.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent...
"True Nature" by Jane's Addiction fills the airways.
FRANK WARBURTON: Hailing from Phoenix, Arizona. Weighing in tonight at two hundred and thirty one pounds..."INEVITABLE" DAVID GAGE!!
More boos from the crowd as Gage makes his way down to the ring.
BILL HEWSON: Neither of these men is well liked around here.
JACK JONES: What do these people know? They wouldn't know talent if it came down here and smacked them in the mouth!
The bell rings and the two competitors meet in the center of the ring. Words are being exchanged between the two Dogs but, neither man makes a move to attack.
BILL HEWSON: What's going on here?
JACK JONES: I told you these guys did not want to fight each other, they're partners and friends.
The crowd is on edge. They want a fight but, it does not look like they are going to get one. Looks like Davis and Gage are back on the same page after their conversation in the middle of the ring. With a hand shake and a quick embrace, Davis and Gage start to leave the ring.
BILL HEWSON: Where are these guys going? There is a match scheduled here!
JACK JONES: The Dogs are back on the same page Hewson, there will be no match tonight...
The lights of Ogden Hall begin to dim and "When the Lights Go Out" by The Black Keys begins to play. Out from behind the curtain walks the 2008 Sole Survivor, "LDK" Lloyd Rees and in tow is Rees's good friend Bayman Jakey. The crowd erupts at the sight of the Newfie duo. Rees has a microphone in hand and it looks like he has something to say to The Dogs of Evil.
"LDK" LLOYD REES: Hey! Where do ye two Larrys think yer go'n? D'ese good people dished out d'ere hard earned money t'see some wrasslin' not ye two kiss and make up! Me and me ol'buddy, Jakey, were backstage watch'n ye fools make out when Jakey looked at me. He had d'hat look in his eye like he had a great idea. Let d'hen know what ya told me Jakey!
Rees passes the microphone to Bayman Jakey.
BAYMAN JAKEY: Well, as da tears welled up in me eyes watch'n such a great moment in wrasslin' history, a though came t' me. "Rees!" I said. Didn't d'ese two Jackie-tars come out t'da ring a few weeks ago and blind side ya?
"LDK" LLOYD REES: Why yes d'hey did Jakey!
BAYMAN JAKEY: "Rees!" I said. Why don't ya go out d'ere and give da NAPW faithful exactly what d'hey want; a REAL wrasslin' match!
"LDK" LLOYD REES: So, here we are! An arena full people look'n fer a wrasslin match, two idiots in da ring and "DA EAST COAST SENSTATION" look'n t'get a little revenge cleared up before I take both da NAPW and REBEL Pro Titles! What do think b'ys?!
BAYMAN JAKEY: WAIT!!
The crowd goes quiet. A look of confusion from "LDK"
BAYMAN JAKEY: Who care what d'ese two tink, d'ere as stunned as me arse! Ask d'hem!
Jakey points to the crowd. Cheers follow.
"LDK" LLOYD REES: What do ya think?! Do ye all want t'see "LDK" make Da Dogs of Evil TAP?!
A defiant "Yes!" from the crowd.
"LDK" LLOYD REES: Ring da bell!
Rees drops the microphone and heads for the ring, Jakey right there. "LDK" slides under the top rope and the bell rings. On the other side of the ring The Dogs look at each other trying to decide you will be first to lock up with Lloyd, looks like the discussion is going no where.
BILL HEWSON: Looks like there is a little trouble in Paradise Jack.
JACK JONES: For your information Hewson, this is a big decision!
BILL HEWSON: Decisions been made by the look of this!
Teddy Davis pushes David Gage toward "LDK" and hops out of the ring. Gage looks at him in question, "Where are you going?" Rees does not seem to care where Davis is going. He locks his hands around the waist of Gage and folds him in half with a vicious BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX! Rees stands over the stunned Dog, the whole time, eyes locked on Teddy. David Gage is now making his way back to his feet, Rees quick to lock Gage in position...DDT FROM THE GREEN!!
Rees immediately to the ring ropes, trash talking with Davis who is more then half way up the ramp. "LDK" turns his attention back to Gage and grabs The Dog by the feet.
BILL HEWSON: This one is over!
Rees cinches in the LANCE COVE LEGLOCK!!, locking his vision on the exiting Davis. Referee Anthony Uruburu slides into position!
TAP! TAP!! TAP!!!
FRANK WARBURTON: Your winner by submission..."LDK" LLOYD REEESSS!
Rees lets go of Gage and grabs the microphone.
"LDK" LLOYD REES: What's wrong Teddy?! Scared t'come face t'face with "LDK"?! Don't blame ya! But, ya can only run fer so long. In fact! I'm call'n ya out! You were so anxious t'lock yer Wings of Da Dragon on me a few weeks back, why don't ya try again! Next week, "LDK" Lloyd Rees versus Teddy Davis, SUBMISSION MATCH!!
Davis brushes Rees off and walks backstage. Rees tosses the microphone on the ground and hops out of the ring, the Newfie duo heads backstage.
BILL HEWSON: Now that was much better the watching The Dogs of Evil in a "Toughen Up Match".
JACK JONES: What will be really awesome is watching Teddy Davis make that cocky "LDK" tap.
BILL HEWSON: Guess we will have to see if Davis will accept Rees's challenge!
JACK JONES: ... and then, just when things looked their darkest, I found one more battery under the seat. She and I were elated!
BILL HEWSON: So the TV remote worked fine after that?
JACK JONES: TV remote? Did you even listen to me?
BILL HEWSON: Let's go to Frank!
FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at two hundred forty-nine pounds and hailing from New Orleans, Louisiana, he is being accompanied to the ring by Dan Miller, he is..."HARD HITTIN' " HANK HENDERSON!
"Heads Are Gonna Roll" by Judas Priest begins playing from the speakers in the building and Hank Henderson steps out from behind the curtain to a fairly positive ovation. He and Dan Miller make their way to the ring past the waving fans and then prepare in their corner before The Expositioner and Mystic Ninja make their way to the ring.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing second, weighing in at two hundred forty pounds and hailing from Lloydminster, Alberta, he is being accompanied to the ring by Mystic Ninja...THE EXPOSITIONER!
The Expositioner and Mystic Ninja appear from behind the curtain to an incredible ovation from the fans. Mystic Ninja and The Expositioner high-five fans sitting alongside the aisle as they make their way to the ring. The two roll into the ring and stand in their corner. Referee John Sharplin calls for the bell and Mystic Ninja and Dan Miller both exit the ring.
BILL HEWSON: This match features two fan favorites, Jack Attack. This seems like a match that's really going to play to the fans' likings.
JACK JONES: Ths match isn't playing to my likings. We need somebody like Krusty Kid Paul in this match, he'd definitely be sure to liven things up.
The match begins and the two men meet in the center of the ring, Expositioner leans against the ropes and bounces off at Hank Henderson. Henderson tries for a short arm clothesline, but Expo ducks underneath and bounces off the ropes at the other side of the ring. Expositioner leaps, trying to land an elbow, but Henderson turns around and catches him, spinebuster! Hank Henderson plants The Expositioner in the middle of the ring. The Expositioner rolls away from Henderson and gets to his feet. The Expositioner shakes the cobwebs out and gains his bearings in the corner. Henderson charges, running splash! No, The Expositioner leap frogs Henderson and Hank hits the turnbuckle chest first and stumbles backwards a few steps. Expositioner hits the ropes again, ducks underneath another clothesline attempt from Henderson and lands a leaping neckbreaker that sends Hank to the mat. Expositioner hops up to the top turnbuckle and waits for Henderson to get to his feet.
Hank gets to his feet, and Expositioner leaps, yelling the name of the move, "X-PRESS!" A crossbody from the top rope and Henderson is put back down to the canvas. Expositioner hits the canvas, rolling thunder. Expositioner runs towards the ropes again, springboard leg drop, but Hank Henderson rolls out of the way. Expositioner rolls onto his stomach and then gets to one knee, Henderson comes off the ropes, boot to the face sends the Expositioner back to the mat. Henderson brings Expo to his feet, sends a boot to the gut and lands a DDT in the center of the ring.
BILL HEWSON: This match has been pretty equal so far, neither man has the clear upper hand.
JACK JONES: This match has been pretty boring so far, neither man has clearly impressed me! I told you before, if somebody like Tommy Deathrow were here, this match would be ten times better!
Hank Henderson goes to the mat and locks in an armbar on the Expositioner. Henderson locks in the armbar in the center of the ring, Expositioner scrambles to try and get to the ropes, but Henderson drags him back to the center of the ring. Expositioner kips up and breaks the hold. Both men are on their feet, Expositioner charges Hank Henderson, boot to the gut from Henderson, breath taker! Henderson's version of a side effect plants the Expositioner in the center of the ring. Henderson goes to the mat for the cover, no, he decides against it. Rather Hank locks in some sort of leglock that twists Expositioner's leg.
Henderson is putting a lot of pressure on Expositioner's leg, but he is not tapping out. Expositioner tries rolling away now, but Henderson simply begins pulling at his leg and twisting it even more. Henderson gets a frustrated look on his face because Expositioner is not tapping out. Henderson breaks the hold himself and the brings the Expositioner to his feet. Henderson whips Expositioner into the ropes, off the rebound, side slam from Henderson.
BILL HEWSON: Earlier neither man had the advantage, but now it seems that Hank Henderson has the clear cut edge.
JACK JONES: I can't believe The Expositioner didn't tap. Damn, that looked really painful, your leg getting twisted in all different ways like that. Can somebody win the match already? I'm starting to get really bored.
Henderson begins laying in stomps on the prone Expositioner. Henderson brings The Expositioner to his feet, and whips him across the ring against the ropes again. Henderson leans against the ropes opposite the ring and charges The Expositioner off the rebound trying to land a clothesline, but Expositioner ducks underneath again, bounces off the ropes on the other side of the ring and lands a springboard Lou Thesz press, "X-POUND!", and lands lefts and rights on the downed Hank Henderson. The Expositioner hops up to the second rope and nails a leg drop on Henderson. Expositioner is beginning to get back on his feet, metaphorically and literally. Henderson gets to his feet too and the two begin to exchange right hands. Henderson shoots a knee to the gut of The Expositioner and sets him up for a vertical suplex. Henderson has Expo up, but The Expositioner reverses, he escapes the suplex and brings Henderson down with a bulldog!
The Expositioner runs and lands a springboard leg drop onto Hank Henderson. Henderson gets to his feet, The Expositioner charges again, Atomic Drop from Hank Henderson, then a clothesline sends The Expositioner to the mat. Henderson brings Expo to his feet, whips him into the ropes, but The Expositioner reverses the Irish Whip, off the rebound The Expositioner leap frogs Henderson. Henderson again off the ropes, The Expositioner takes him down with an arm drag. Henderson pops right up and both men are on their feet in the center of the ring. The two lock up in a standard shoulder grapple, Expo shoots a kick to the abdomen of Hank Henderson that doubles him over. The Expositioner runs against the ropes again and tries for a swinging neckbreaker, Henderson is down again. Expo heads to the top rope and the crowd pops. The Expositioner is preparing to leap from the top rope, but Hank Henderson drags the referee down to the canvas.
Wait a minute ---
Dan Miller on the apron and he shakes the ropes, The Expositioner rides the turnbuckle. Hank Henderson gets to his feet, and referee John Sharplin didn't see Dan Miller crotch Expo. Henderson grabs The Expositioner
THE END!
BILL HEWSON: Hank Henderson lands The End after Dan Miller gave him the opening he needed after distracting the referee! Don't let this match end like this!
JACK JONES: That was a great tactic to use in order to win the match!
Hank Henderson lands The End in the middle of the ring and goes for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Winner of the match via pinfall, Hank Henderson!
Hank Henderson gets to his feet and Dan Miller meets him in the ring. Referee John Sharplin raises Hank's hand in victory. The crowd boos Southern Destruction and Mystic Ninja enters the ring asking what's going on. He points to Dan Miller and then pokes his chest, Southern Destruction then attack Mystic Ninja! Southern Destruction lands rights and lefts on Mystic Ninja and shove him against the ropes. Miller continues to lay in the rights on Mystic Ninja while Hank Henderson makes his way to ringside where he grabs the two tag title belts.
BILL HEWSON: What the hell is going on here? Southern Destruction assaulting Mystic Ninja... Henderson just grabbed the title belts! What's he doing --- oh no!
Hank enters the ring with both belts in hand. Dan Miller grabs one of the two belts, The Expositioner charges the two men attacking his partner, Hank Henderson wipes him out with a huge shot with the tag team title belt!
Dan Miller then sends Mystic Ninja to the mat with a shot from the title belt as well!
The crowd boos Southern Destruction like crazy. Miller and Henderson leave the ring and walk up the aisle to the locker room but still stare at the ring where Mystic Exposition has been dismantled and make the motion of a title belt around their waists.
BILL HEWSON: How long until Southern Destruction become the NAPW World Tag Team champions? We'll have to see next week at Bingo Tingo!
The Alcoholik by Superjoint Ritual kicks in making your ears bleed, starting a chain reaction of boos and hateful chants as the crowd knows this song all too well. Krusty Kid Paul comes walking out from behind the curtains he stops just out side the curtains and welcomes the hateful energy the crowd is giving.
BILL HEWSON: Last week in Raleight, we saw the seeming demise of Sexy Adorable Drunks. Krusty Kid Paul viciously assaulted his partner Tommy Deathrow with a busted up vodka bottle!
JACK JONES: Not to mention that poor little meth orphan.
BILL HEWSON: Well hopefully we can get some answers here tonight. I think we're entitled to that much, Jack.
JACK JONES: He better have some answers! Last week we witnessed what was the end of one of the greatest tag teams NAPW has ever seen!
BILL HEWSON: If you say so, Jack.
JACK JONES: I do Bill.
Paul makes his way to the ring flipping off the little kids and spitting on pregnant women. He rolls under the ropes and gets into the ring, stands up and signals for the mic.
KRUSTY KID PAUL: Give me the damn Mic!
A mic gets tossed in the ring Paul walks over and picks it up, the crowd still booing and chanting.
"Take a bath! Take a Bath!"
Paul looks out and scans the crowd pulls his flask from his pockets takes a pull from it and raised the mic to his mouth.
KRUSTY KID PAUL: Now I bet a lot of you are wondering WHY I did what I did last week, and normally I wouldn't give two shits to explain my self to anyone, let alone an arena full of shit-eating fans like we got here tonight. And the fact of the (BLEEP) matter is I'm tired, I am sick and (BLEEP) tired of being the one in the shadows living in the dark while Tommy gets the (BLEEP) light! I'm the one that does all the (BLEEP) work, I'm the one that brings that extra level of fear to are opponents... and I'm the reason we lost the Tag Titles last week.
Booooooo. Paul has never sounded so cruel and bitter.
KRUSTY KID PAUL: Had I given Southern Destruction a hundred percent we may have won, (BLEEP) we would have won! I was always the talent in S.A.D, I was the one that took us to the gold and I was the reason we kept it. That has-been Deathrow is old news and has been for some time now. But still, every time someone mentioned the name S.A.D., Deathrow was the first name out of their mouth, and I am (BLEEP) tired of carrying him!
It's time for me to go solo, S.A.D is dead and no amount of booze or whores will smooth things over. I took the tag team gold by force, with little help from the walking talking STD. And now I am gunning for the NAPW World Champio ship and I am going to start it off with my first singles match against my old friend Deathrow... Unless he is too much of a chickenshit to face me man to man.
JACK JONES: Can you believe it Bill? S.A.D is no more.
BILL HEWSON: Couldn't have happened to two nicer guys.
JACK JONES: They had so much potential Bill, S.A.D was the team that brought the Tag division back up and now their done.
BILL HEWSON: Have you been drinking the Superstar's Kool-Aid? I agree that S.A.D. were a hell of a team, but Paul seems to be in his own little world here! To think he CARRIED Tommy Deathrow? Whoa, speak of the devil!
"WE FALL, WE FALL!"
We Fall, We Fall starts to play over the as the crowd begins to cheer and look on for the entrance of the SuperStar. Tommy emerges from the back, bandages covering his forehead and an Absolut vodka bottle dangling from his fist. He stops midway to the ring, raises his arms to the side and does a small spin around while thrusting his beloved manhood at the crowd. Once inside the ring Tommy pours vodka into his mouth, turns around and hurls the bottle at Krusty who just side steps it. (We will just assume the bottle hits an elderly man with down syndrome). Tommy gets thrown a mic.
TOMMY DEATHROW: Well, well, well if it isn't big bad Pauly. Face it, Kid, you just can't handle the fact that I *WAS* SAD. The fact is, I was getting tired of taking you under my wing anyways. The crowd here wants you to take a bath an I totally agree with them. Except I'd rather treat them with getting you... a *bloodbath*. Break you (BLEEP) face open eight times worse than what you did to poor lil' Dex.
The crowd is surprisingly behind Tommy. "BLEEP HIM UP, TOMMY, BLEEP HIM UP! CLAP CLAP!" STD licks his lips as Paul stares on with a hateful sneer.
TOMMY DEATHROW: You think I don't have the balls to face you? You honestly think the SuperStar would be afraid of you? That's funny stuff right there. I have scabs that are more concering than you. Baby dick, you seriously think you have what it takes to make it on your own? An from the way your spittin' it sounds like you want to start your new life destiny with me. Well bitch, I guess its' gonna end just as fast as it starts. You want the SUPERSTAR? How bout next week in Edmonton the KKP vs the walking talking STD one on one SUPERSTAR rules?
BILL HEWSON: Krusty Kid Paul vs Tommy Deathrow? Holy cow!
JACK JONES: Paul's right, listen to Tommy. Deathrow thinks he's so much better than KKP!
STD and KKP are face-to-face in the ring.
TOMMY DEATHROW: So what's it gonna be?
Paul hauls off and slugs Deathrow --- STD gets there first! WE HAVE A BRAWL! SEXY ADORABLE DRUNKS ARE GOING AT IT!
BILL HEWSON: I never thought we would see this day, but now that it's here, give him hell Tommy!
JACK JONES: Bandwagon jumper!
BILL HEWSON: Here comes a TON of security to break these two apart... can you believe it! Next week in Edmonton, for the first time EVER, it will be TOMMY DEATHROW vs KRUSTY KID PAUL, one on one, SUPERSTAR RULES! I don't even want to imagine what kind of violence they will inflict upon one another!
JACK JONES: And then Kool-Aid man burst out! Oh yeahhh!
BILL HEWSON: That didn't happen.
JACK JONES: Oh yeah? Then where'd I get this Kool-Aid?
BILL HEWSON: ... Our next match here tonight will be quite a unique one. We have two men who are proficient in the Japanese style of pro wrestling, known as Puroresu. Dez Carter got his start in wrestling by studying in Japan. King Koji is a feared man in the land of the rising sun. This should be an interesting match, Jack Attack.
JACK JONES: King Koji is the true practioner Hewson. Carter is just an immitator. He'll be outed as a fraud tonight.
BILL HEWSON: Whatever the outcome, it will be a chance for NAPW to see just what Puroresu is all about.
We cut to our good old ring announcer Frank Warburton.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen our opening contest is set for one fall with a twenty minute time limit! Introducing first accompanied to the ring by Asuka Katsuragi...weighing in at two-hundred forty-four pounds and six-foot-two inches tall! From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania... DEZ CARTER!
"Twinkle Twinkle" erupts over the PA system. The fans start to cheer as Asuka and Dez emerge from the back. Asuka is bouncing on her heels and waves to the audience. Dez however appears more focused gazing intently at the ring. The two walk to the ring and Dez enters going to a corner ready for the match.
FRANK WARBURTON: His opponent... weighing in two-hundred seventy pounds at a height of six-foot four inches! From Kyoto, Japan... KING KOJI!
"Dance of the Dragon" begins and the faces look towards the entrance. King Koji steps out from the back and immediately locks gazes with Carter. He walks slowly and purposely to the ring, ignoring the fans as he enters.
BILL HEWSON: Look at the intensity of King Koji. He's ready to make a big impact here in NAPW.
JACK JONES: If I were Carter, I'd run away right now. This guy looks evil.
The bell rings and both men circle. Carter rushes in for the lockup. They struggle for a bit with neither gaining the advantage. The break apart and circle yet again. Carter throws a kick but Koji blocks. Lock up and Koji muscles Carter to the ropes. Sharplin calls for the break and we get a clean break.
BILL HEWSON: Sort of a chess match in the early going. Neither man gaining a major advantage.
JACK JONES: Look at Koji's face, Hewson. He looks like a machine, calculating how to take Dez down and punish him.
Koji locks up again and the struggle. He backs Carter into the ropes yet again and looks to break clean. SLAP! Koji with a hard slap to the face! Elbow strike! Dez is stunned. Waistlock take down by King Koji. He's got the leg and applies a grapevine hold. Carter struggles to get to the ropes. Koji releases the hold and stomps down on Carter's leg. Another stomp! Kick to the leg!
BILL HEWSON: Koji is picking apart the leg, not doubt in order to neutralize the GTS.
JACK JONES: Smart tactics.
Carter is stumbling to his feet. He's on wobbly legs and Koji strikes with a kick to the calf. Dez goes down again and Koji with an ankle lock. He's really grinding in the hold as Dez inches to the ropes. He reaches the ropes after a few seconds and Koji breaks at three. He pulls Carter up and into a waistlock trying for a suplex. Dez fires in an elbow but Koji maintains his hold and tries to lift Carter. Dez fires another elbow further impeding the bigger man's progress. A third elbow finally forces King Koji to release the grip and Dez staggers to the ropes, trying to regain his composure. He's still favoring the leg which is now sporting the beginnings of a nasty welt.
BILL HEWSON: Carter would not allow King Koji to hit that suplex. His determination to escape proves the kind of competitor he is.
JACK JONES: Yeah? Well, it also angered King Koji. Look at his face.
Koji sneers and bounces off the ropes flying at Carter with a clothesline. PALM STRIKE! Carter avoids the strike and fires off one of his own. Kick to the stomach by Carter and another palm strike. He Irish whips Koji to the ropes and backdrops him on the rebound. Both men back up and Dez with a knee strike to the chest. Koji brushes it off and headbutts Carter square in the face. Before Dez has time to register the pain he finds himself flat on the mat courtesy of a body slam from Koji. Koji grabs the leg and drops some vicious knees into the joints. Carter flinches but doesn't cry out. Koji lifts him back up and connects with a Yakuza Kick that sends Dez crashing into the buckle. Carter slumps to the mat as Koji slowly stalks over.
BILL HEWSON: What a kick by Koji. Carter could be out here.
JACK JONES: I think I see his eyes rolling back... Yes he's out.
Koji drops down for the first cover of the match. He puts one foot squarely on Carter's chest feeling the kick surely gained him the win.
ONE!
TWO!
Kickout.
Carter manages to get the shoulder up, causing Koji to grunt at the referee in some surprise. Sharplin gestures that it was a two and Koji turns back to Carter who is back on his feet. Carter unleashes a series of three quick knee strikes to the chest followed up by a running palm strike. The combination of strikes is too much and Koji hits the mat. Carter is quickly on him applying an Inverted Cravate. Koji grunts as Dez tightens the hold.
BILL HEWSON: This match is back and forth. Carter has that move in tight!
JACK JONES: Koji won't tap though. Look at him fighting Hewson. He's a lion I tell you.
Koji fights the hold and manages to break free by getting the ropes. As both men rise, King Koji lashes out like a serpent connecting with a sidekick to the calf. Dez buckles but Koji catches him before he can fall... Back Drop Driver!
ONE!
TWO!
Dez fires the shoulder up. He struggles to his feet and shakes his head trying to fight the effects of the move. Koji comes at him and eats a heel kick to the chin. Whip to the corner and Dez follows him in laying in some knee strikes to the bread basket. Sharplin warns him to get out of the corner but Carter lands some elbows to the face before relenting.
BILL HEWSON: Carter seeming a bit more ruthless than we are used to.
JACK JONES: If he wants to defeat King Koji he has to be. That honorable crap won't cut it with a man who wants to lariat his headoff.
Carter lifts Koji and executes a Dragon SUplex.
ONE!
TWO!
Koji rolls the shoulder. Carter drags him up and forearms him in the face. Koji fires back with a foearm of his own. Carter! Koji! Carter! Koji! Carter winds up and lets fly... Koji grabs the arm and takes Carter over in an armbar. Dez is close to the ropes though and puts his foot on the bottom. Koji holds the move until Sharplin reaches four before begrudgingly releasing. He backs off and Dez gets to his feet. He tries shaking his arm to relieve the strain done by the armbar. Both men meet in the center of the ring with a lockup. For the first time in the match Dez gains the advantage and whips Koji to the ropes. The King comes back and Carter is ready getting Koji in the fireman's carry.
BILL HEWSON: GTS... Here it comes!
JACK JONES: No Koji counters!
Indeed Koji is able to escape the Fireman's Carry and retaliates by hooking Dez and planting him with a brainbuster.
BILL HEWSON: Brainbuster! This has to be it!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE?
No! Carter kicks out! Koji is furious. He whips Carter to the ropes but Dez reverses. Koji comes off and Carter hits a power slam. He brings Koji up and hits the Dragon Suplex again.
ONE!
TWO!
Koji kicks out at 2.8! Both men up now and Carter with a chop. Koji with an elbow strike. Dez is stunned... Roaring elbow by Koji! He's got him set for the King's Welcome... Ducked! Backslide from Heaven by Carter!
BILL HEWSON: Dez with a backslide --- not just ANY backslide! BACKSLIDE FROM HEAVEN!
JACK JONES: Kick out koji!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner... Dez Carter!
BILL HEWSON: Carter caught him with that backslide. Koji is up and he doesn't look happy.
JACK JONES: Take his head off Koji!
King Koji is up...
And reluctantly bows to Carter. Dez does the same as the fans applaud the match. Koji grunts and exits the ring.
***DVD EXTRA***
Backstage, Big Mitch is walking around, when a sign catches his eye. Upon further inspection, his eyes light up and his mouth starts to smack. From the opposite angle, we see that the sign reads "Free Manwiches" with an arrow pointing to the right.
BIG MITCH: Man, I really love sloppy joes. A quick bite won't hurt before being at ringside to support Gary and Esteban.
He follows the arrow, until there's a bigger sign, with an arrow pointing down the hall. "MANWICHES. THIS WAY."
Down the hallway, there's yet another sign. "Hunger is a beast to tame."
And beyond it: "There's one way to defeat it."
The hallway turns to the left. Big Mitch is really rolling now! "Crammed with beef and special sauce"
And above an open door. "A MANWICH is what's needed!"
BIG MITCH: I'm coming, signs! Nothing will stop me in my quest for glorious MEAT!
He runs into the room, only to look around. And then SLAM! The industrial door is shut and locked by some very large hands. Mark "The Moose" Millar leans against the boiler room door, lets out a hearty laugh and cracks upon a can of Pilsner.
THE MOOSE: HAW!
As the Moose sips from his beer and laughs, JC Cook enters the frame.
JC COOK: Did I see signs advertising a free meal?
THE MOOSE: Beat it!
Cook leaves, glaring over his shoulder at Millar, who's too busy being proud of himself to care.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for one fall and is our AWESOME PARTNERS TAG TEAM MATCH! Introducing first, at a combined weight of three hundred and sixty seven pounds. Being accompanied by Lady Sparks ... STONE ZELLOR and MODO WHOA!
"THE CONNECTION IS MADE!"
As the sound of 90s Britpop fills the Ogden Legion Hall, Lady Sparks emerges from behind the curtain. Closely followed by Stone and Modo WHOA!, and the crowd don't like them one bit. Not that they care. Modo rolls into the ring as Stone holds the bottom rope open for his valet. Finally, the Elastica songs begins to die down as the crowd hold a hushed tone, waiting for Frank to make the announcement.
FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents. Weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred and nine pounds. Introducing first, NAPW ALUMNI, J.C. COOK and his partner, a FORMER NAPW WORLD CHAMPION. BRUCE "THE BEAST" RICHARDS!
The crowd go nuts as 'Knights of Cydonia' begins pumping out through the PA system. Sure enough the two crowd-favorites emerge from the back. They pose for the crowd, soaking up the applause, cheers and the strong aroma emanating from the J.C. Cook fans in the back. The two men begins their journey to the ring, slapping hands with all the fans along the way before finally entering the ring.
Morgan Smythe orders the bell to start this match as all four men stand in their respective corners. It looks like Cook is going to start the match off for his team, and Modo WHOA! wins the quick game of rock, paper, scissors to start the match as well.
BILL HEWSON: The return of one NAPW wrestler and the debut of another. The crowd do seem pleased to see J.C. Cook back in the ring.
JACK JONES: I don't know why, Hewson, maybe they're smoking the same stuff as his fan club were earlier.
BILL HEWSON: And if Modo WHOA! was teaming with anyone else, he might stand a chance with the fans here tonight.
The two men grapple with a collar and elbow tie up as J.C. Cook overpowers his opponent, pushing him back into a neutral corner. Smythe calls for a break, which she gets as Cook backs away. Modo follows him out of the corner as they lock up again, and Modo WHOA! gains the upper hand as he dives around the back with a hammerlock. It's reversed almost straight away - but the masked man delivers a swift back elbow to the temple, forcing a break. An Irish whip sends Cook against the ropes. He bounces off them, but Modo WHOA! leap frogs over him, allowing Cook to go against the ropes again as he connects with a flying forearm! And Cook makes the tag out to 'The Beast' as Modo WHOA! gets back to his feet, only to be taken down by a scoop slam! With authority!
Modo climbs back to his feet again, but he's resting in his own corner as Stone shouts some 'encouraging' words at his partner, whilst Bruce and J.C. stand on the far side of the ring with some huge smiles on their faces.
BILL HEWSON: Stone and Modo are working on their game plan, which sounds like Stone isn't going to be the legal man any time soon.
JACK JONES: These fans don't deserve to see someone of Stone's calibre, Hewson.
BILL HEWSON: You're right, they've paid money. Lets give them someone who's willing to wrestle!
JACK JONES: That's not what I meant...
The WHOA! Man steps out from the corner as he points to J.C. Cook, asking 'The Beast' to tag out - and Cook is happy to be the legal man. He steps back into the ring, but Modo rushes at him - NO! His shot is blocked as Cook fires back with a hard right hand, knocking the masked man down. Modo gets back up, only to be caught by another vicious right! He climbs back to his feet again, and Cook hits a picture perfect standing dropkick! Cook against the ropes - LEG DROP! And a cover. One! Tw--BROKEN UP BY STONE! Zellor rushing into the ring with a stiff boot to the back of the head - but he scarpers before Bruce Richards is even half way through the ropes.
BILL HEWSON: And Stone definitely doesn't want anything to do with 'The Beast'!
Morgan Smythe admonishes Stone on the outside, but he walks back to his corner as the action continues in the ring. Both men are on their feet as Cook connects with a toe kick, doubling his opponent over. An Irish whip sends Modo to the corner as he goes for the FUZZY SPLASH--NO! Modo dives out of the way as Cook hits nothin' but turnbuckle. He stumbles backwards, straight into a back suplex. And Modo goes straight to the corner, trying to make the tag out to Stone - who takes it this time!
Stone Zellor enters the ring and he immediately stomps away at the fallen J.C. Cook. With a handful of that wonderful afro, Stone drags his opponent back to his feet before delivering a vicious pimp slap!
AND J.C. COOK LOOKS ANGRY!
JACK JONES: He has an emotion other than stoned?
Stone swings with a right, but it's CAUGHT! And Cook unloads with a series of palm strikes, forcing Zellor back against a turnbuckle. An Irish whip sends him from pillar to post as Cook follows him. FUZZY SPLASH! And another Irish whip sends Stone back across the ring as Cook charges at him. FUZZY SPLASH! Zellor staggers out of the corner and J.C. is waiting for him as he delivers a Blue Thunder Driver!
ONE!
TWO!
KICK-OUT!
BILL HEWSON: Stone Zellor just managing to get the shoulder up there.
Cook goes to his corner as he makes the tag out to Bruce 'The Beast' Richards - and listen to that crowd! They're going crazy with excitement as a dazed Stone uses the ropes to re- attain his vertical base before turning around ... AND HE SEES THE BEAST!
AND HE RUNS! THROUGH THE MIDDLE ROPES AND UP THE AISLE!
Lady Sparks and Modo WHOA! chase after him, stopping him before he can get away, but Stone doesn't want to be in the ring with Bruce Richards.
WAIT! SUICIDE NO-HANDS PLANCHA BY THE BEAST!
BILL HEWSON: Bruce Richards does it again as he just took out Stone Zellor and Modo WHOA! on the outside!
Jack Jones is speechless, but the crowd are on their feet. Lady Sparks is in shock as her tag team are down on the outside, and J.C. Cook is steadying himself in the ring. Stone manages to stand up, turning around to face the ring - SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODY! But Bruce and J.C. stand over their fallen foes and the crowd pop as they high-five! By this time, though, Morgan Smythe has begun the count-out, so Bruce rolls Zellor back into the ring before following him in. Stone manages to get back to his feet again as he spies Bruce standing in the center of the ring, waiting for him.
JACK JONES: Let's go Stone! You can take him!
BILL HEWSON: Listen to the crowd, Jack Attack. Stone may have made a mistake when he called out Bruce the other week. And blaming him for all of his problems wasn't the best idea in the world.
Bruce Richards and Stone Zellor are eye-to-eye in the ring - and Stone strikes first! He catches 'The Beast' with a right hook, but Bruce fires right back! It goes back and forth between the two, but Richards soon begins to gain the upper hand - until an EYE POKE by Zellor! It's enough to stop Bruce in his tracks (and earn a warning from Morgan Smythe), but Stone goes against the ropes for the LARIAT!
DUCKED!
COBRA CLUTCH BOMB! And 'The Beast' just folded his opponent up like a damn accordion! Lateral press!
ONE!
TWO!
THREENOOO! Modo WHOA! making the save!
He nails Richards with a low dropkick to the face, and Cook rushes in to aid his partner as he and Modo WHOA! get in a scuffle in the corner. Bruce is back on his feet as he goes to lift Stone back up -- LOW BLOW BY STONE ZELLOR! Morgan Smythe is distracted by the action in the corner, so she doesn't spot Lady Sparks passing a pair of brass knuckles to her man either. 'The Beast' is doubled over from that low blow as Stone puts the illegal weapon on his right hand and rears back -- But MODO WHOA! grabs his partner's arm! Stone looks shocked! But J.C. Cook turns Modo around--PRESSURE COOKER!
BILL HEWSON: Cook obviously didn't see Modo WHOA! saving his partner from the brass knuckles, but wait--
Bruce is standing and he's grabbed Stone - CHART ATTACK! The crowd explode as the move hits and Bruce rolls hooks a leg!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners... BRUCE 'THE BEAST' RICHARDS & J.C. COOK!
JACK JONES: No! It can't be!
BILL HEWSON: Bruce Richards has pinned Stone Zellor in the middle of the ring, Jack Attack. Despite his cheating efforts, Stone has come up short in his bid for revenge. Bruce and J.C. Cook deserve this victory. They worked well as a team and have earned an impressive victory here tonight.
The victorious competitors have exited the ring and are working the crowd on their way out, just as Stone appears to be coming round in the ring. Lady Sparks is helping her man get back to his feet, and Modo WHOA! is using the ropes to stand up as well. The crowd seem to like the masked man a little more after his efforts at the end - but Stone doesn't look impressed.
He's right up in Modo's, um, mask, glaring at him as Modo WHOA! tries to defend his actions -- LOW BLOW BY LADY SPARKS! Modo WHOA! is in agony, but Stone hooks his arms - SLAMMY TIME!
JACK JONES: Yes!
BILL HEWSON: Sickening! Stone Zellor with a blast from the past as he just used his former trademark move to lay out his - well, I guess now former - friend, Modo WHOA!.
And the boos rain down on Stone and Lady Sparks as they exit the ring.
JACK JONES: ... and even through the scarring, I've retained quite a bit of sensitivity.
BILL HEWSON: I'm upset by the things you say and do.
Dirty guitars, squealing feedback. ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC. Before you recognize the song cue from three scant weeks ago, a man pushes through the curtain and you recall, that yes, in fact, you hate him. He's all in black, from the jacket down to the jeans, and the flame pattern on his Harleys tell you who he is better than is face can anymore. Short hair. Immaculate forehead. And the eyes...
"I'm as blue
I'm as blue as the ocean is true, it's just reflections of the sky
I'm as cold
I'm as cold as the stories you told but never sick enough to DIE"
An obese, handicapped teenage girl is struggling against the security rail, punctuating the crowd's jeers with mimed punches, physical threats. She is wearing a Bruce Richards T-shirt. D! stops in his tracks, takes in the sight of her, and smiles from ear-to-ear. He just can't help himself.
FRANK WARBURTON: Please welcome back to the NAPW ring... from Edmonton! Alberta! Canada! Three-time former NAPW Champion, THIS! IS! DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
But this is not Sole Survivor. Nobody is popping for the hometown. The old title reigns mean nothing. The D! they knew is not here. No pumping up the crowd. No funny faces for the kids. No thumb-war with some dude on the way to the ring. He keeps grinning derisively to no one in particular, and saunters his way to the ring apron.
BILL HEWSON: One month ago... one month ago, Jack Attack, had you told me we'd have D! back in the NAPW, one of our most illustrious champions, well... I'd have been happy. But now, now that we're here...
JACK JONES: I didn't even like him then, Hewson, remember? He was a pandering, glory-hogging, hypocritical son-of-a-bitch!
BILL HEWSON: I don't forget that, Jack, but what about now?
JACK JONES: ... I don't like him now, either.
BILL HEWSON: Boy, it's funny when we actually agree.
D! climbs through the ropes, and snatches the mic from Warburton's hands. Our announcer exits the ring, and the real shouting starts. Over the music. Over three or four lines of Hewson & Jones dialogue. And D! knows to let it run...
"(BLEEP) YOU D! (BLEEP) YOU D! (BLEEP) YOU D! (BLEEP) YOU D!"
They've killed "Note to Self: Don't Die". D! holds the mic to his mouth, placid. He waits...
"(BLEEP) YOU D! (BLEEP) YOU D! (BLEEP) YOU D!"
... and goes for it.
D!: No, (BLEEP) you, actually. (BLEEP) you.
"BOOOOOOOOOOO"
Have it your way. This show's overbooked. There's still, like, eighteen matches on after I'm done so you can keep stalling me, or let me have my peace. I'm not booked to compete. I'm here to talk about Sole Survivor. You all remember?
"BOOOOOOOOO!"
I know, Casino versus Rees was such a let-down. But I'm talking about the actual damn Main Event. You must have been all so thrilled, eh? Trent Daniels, breaking through to the other side, just shy of being a true headliner? Jacob Venar, this close to setting the all-time endurance record and winning the whole damn thing? Ravager... SO. CLOSE. To winning his way back into NAPW.
I mean... doesn't it all suck that I had to come in and wreck all of that?
More hate. D! simply screws up his face and gives a "Gee, what gives?" shrug.
Sorry, guys, you can't always get what you want. No, you can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes... well, long story short, I'm awesome. I mean, it's me, right? I'm D! I'm One Letter, Said Real Loud! I'm the Champion of Champions! My first match in history qualified me for the NAPW Title! And I won it on my second match! There isn't anyone that can do what I've done!
NO ONE.
Not Rees. Not Krenshov. Not Venar. No one.
Oh, you can point out the little ways I've changed. None of that matters, does it? Like my plastic surgery--hey, I'm a man. I can admit it. I got work done.
He strokes his smooth forehead.
D!: And why shouldn't I? What moronic rule states that a wrestler has to stay maimed for the rest of his life? Would any of you do this? Why should I pay for the rest of my life simply because Chris Casino took advantage of me once?
Heh. Anyone remember when you all actually cheered for Chris Casino? But I digress. We're talking changes.
He slips off his leather jacket, hangs it on the turnbuckle. We see a dark, inky mass on his left arm, and as he pulls his t-shirt's shoulder up, we can make out the proper image: a scorpion, its claws reaching towars his shoulder, the stinger running down to his wrist.
D!: It started as a gift from the Doomriders. And I liked I so much, I just had to get it enlarged. It's a statement. My totem. My purpose of intent.
JACK JONES: WHERE IS HE GOING WITH ANY OF THIS!?
BILL HEWSON: Like any of us know, Jones, just--
D!: The frantic announcer hand-talking in my peripheral vision tells me you'd probably like a summary, and soon. Very well. That's what I get for playing nice, I suppose. You want a sound-bite. You'll get one. I'm not here to cut a promo.
You all know WHY I left--why I spat on NAPW and left it behind. Because we were a team. We were a unit--D!, and the NAPW fans. Because you all went from supporting ME--
He leans against a set of ropes, leers at ringside.
D!: --to a CRAVEN, GIRL-BEATING HYPOCRITE.
Seated at ringside, Ravager slips a thin smile at D!. They glare at each other venomously.
D!: You saw. You all saw and you didn't care. Because you've never cared about wrestling, or NAPW, you worshipped your golden calf. But you want the real crime of it?
He breaks eye contact with Ravager, and steps back to the middle of the ring.
D!: None of it really matters. You can have each other. That's all fine and dandy.
I don't want any of you. You're all toxic, stupid idiots. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE OF YOU. You idiots can't think for yourselves! You fat, useless robots sit there and react like you've been programmed! You yell "WOO" when someone gets a chop. IDIOTS. You recycle tired old chants like "ECW" and "PLEASE DON'T DIE" because it sounded kewl somewhere else. MORONS. Worse yet, you cancerous in-bred queers in the front row who keep firing out unfunny chants EVERY. DAMNED. MINUTE because you think YOU'RE the star of the show! Well, you're NOT. Professional wrestlers tend to not have asthma.
I'll have my last laugh on all of you... and I don't even have to do a THING. All I need, the thing that will prove me victorious, is TIME. Not just a week. Not a month. Who knows how long? But it WILL happen. It might be some arrogant new rake that you'll feel a burning hate for. Maybe some well-loved talent might turn traitor on his partner, and you'll hate him in judgement. You see, it's inevitable. You have a role to play, all of you. And no matter how much you hate me now, no matter how BADLY you want me to burn in Hell, on some day down the road, you'll all LOVE me again. But when that happens...
... when that happens, it won't be because I've changed. It won't be because my terrible, terrible acts will be redeemed. You'll just do it anyways. I want you to know this--that whatever I've already done, whatever it is I'll choose to do to your fan-favourites or anyone else I feel like doing it to... YOU'LL. JUST. ACCEPT IT.
And when you do? When I'm the living, breathing, heart and soul of NAPW again and you flash back to this night here in Calgary? I'LL HAVE WON.
You will know me as the poisoner.
MUSIC. D! snaps his eyes on the entrance curtain, severely annoyed.
"You're where I thought I'd never go.
I can't believe I did."
"LOOK OUT BELOW!"
The fans don't know who to expect, neither does D!, and Hewson and Jones sure as hell don't know. But then, to a HUGE pop, a long-black-haired, red-eyed young man bursts from the curtain. Jacob Venar is looking ready for a fight in his original ring attire of torn jeans and a white wifebeater. Held tightly clenched in his left hand is a large white bag, like a potato sack. Ravager smiles at ringside as he walks to the ring purposefully, uncharacteristically ignoring the hands of the crowd. Jacob slides into the ring and acknowledges the fans with a brief wave, never taking his eyes off of D!. D! backs into the corner.
The Falcon reaches over the ropes to collect a microphone from the timekeeper at ringside. He holds the mic to his mouth. Waiting for the fans to quiet down as the music dies. He lets the fans cheer a little more, before they stop on their own accord. He smiles.
"THE FALCON" JACOB VENAR: It's a beautiful thing, isn't it?
The fans cheer again. D! rolls his eyes. Jacob drops the bag in the middle of the ring, and the fans quiet down again.
JACOB VENAR: Y'know, D!, I'd ask you, but I can already tell by that dumb look on your face that you are wondering just what the hell I am doing out here.
D! says nothing. Just smirks. He's smarter than he looks, this Falcon. Jacob smiles back.
JACOB VENAR: And you already know that, don'cha, D!? Of course you do! The same reason you came out here, supposedly. To talk about Sole Survivor.
I had it, D!. I was gonna do it. I was gonna go all the way, and not only beat your record but WIN Sole Survivor. It was something you could never do. And you just couldn't accept it. Believe me, I can cope with a loss. I can deal with being eliminated. I just... can't handle letting such blatant injustice go unpunished.
Falcon starts to pace in the ring. D! watches him carefully.
JACOB VENAR: I was getting ready to climb back into the ring. But you kicked me. In doing so you shattered all of my dreams, and almost crushed my neck for that matter.
He rubs the back of his neck, and smiles. All better.
JACOB VENAR: But that's not why I came out here. Not really. Maybe by some vague and distant connection your little stunt provoked me enough to come out here tonight. Maybe. But the real reason, D!, is you.
D! raises an eyebrow.
JACOB VENAR: You're D!. One Letter Said REAL Loud! The man who created modern-day NAPW. The guy who put on the map the very business I am proud to call home. That same business that I defended and proved dominant at the Supershow last week. The very man who - while calling himself the best there ever was - keeps ducking me! Week after week, you've declined my challenge for a match. And tonight I sat in the locker room and I had to listen to you bash the NAPW fans!
These fans are the best in the world. Week after week I come out here to this very ring to put my body on the line, not to put on a show, and yet I still hear these people screaming my name! I hear them cheer when I climb to the turnbuckle. I hear them SCREAM when I Spread. My. Wings. And do you know what? I LIKE IT.
I still live for the moment of pure exhilaration when I burst through the curtains and hear the audience SCREAM! They're cheering for me, D!. They're cheering for me right. Now. And do you know why?
D! shrugs.
D!: Have you beaten any girls lately?
Falcon shakes his head, rolling his eyes. Ravager does the same, but smiles.
JACOB VENAR: No, D!. I haven't. Thanks for checking, though. They cheer for me because of what I believe in. They cheer for me because I never give up. They cheer for me because I face every challenge with open arms! And I win, D!. And I do it without the cheating part.
This bag here?
He gestures to the bag on the floor.
JACOB VENAR: This is a gift to the NAPW fans. The contents of this bag were created by the fans. Maybe not directly, but at any rate, by some extension they are responsible.
He picks up the bag and opens it. When his hand is removed, the ENN Wrestler of the Year trophy is in it. It's got D!'s name on it.
JACOB VENAR: I realize you two haven't formally been introduced. This is the ENN Wrestler of the Year trophy. It's got your name on it, D!, it's not much; just one letter and an exclamation mark.
The ENN Wrestler of the Year trophy... It's a great honor. The man who won this award prided himself on every accomplishment, because in the end it helped the NAPW, and the fans, and every guy working his way up in this business.
Jacob looks over the trophy, and the short name engraved on the front.
That man is dead now... I guess he won't be needing this any more.
SMASH. Jacob breaks the trophy over his knee! Two pieces fall to the canvas, and Jacob steps on the cup half of the trophy, crushing it. The fans CHEER, loving it! D!'s eyes widen, and his upper lip twitches. He starts to pace the ring, obviously upset that Jacob just smashed his trophy. No matter how hard he tries not to freak out... he can't.
JACOB VENAR: There. That's over and done with. You were done with that, weren't you?
D! glares at Jacob menacingly. Jacob just grins, but only briefly. He holds up a finger. The index finger, mind you.
JACOB VENAR: Hang on, I'm not finished.
He reaches into the bag and pulls out a plaque. Significantly flatter than the trophy, you wouldn't even know it was in there. Across the top it reads NAPW RING OF PRESTIGE.
D!'s eyes widen some more. Across the nameplate is the letter D. Next to it is a !.
JACOB VENAR: THIS! This is the NAPW Ring of Prestige plaque. Don't worry, D!, I'm not going to smash this one. In fact... I think I'll hang on to it for a while. The man who won it made the NAPW the best federation in the business. The man who won it never turned down a challenge. The man who won it wasn't a blackmailer. Or a sneak. Or a backbiter. Unfortunately, like you said earlier, D!; the man who won it is long gone. But if you want a small reminder... I guess I can give you a small taste...
WHACK! Jacob just smacked D! over the head with the plaque! D! and Falcon FISTSAFLYING! It's an all out BRAWL! Falcon superkick - D! ducks! D! roundhouse punch - Falcon inches away! Falcon runs to the turnbuckle, D! pursues WHISPER IN THE WIND CONNECTS! Falcon hits the top rope, basks in the fans' cheers briefly, SPREAD MY WINGS...
MISSES! D! rolled out of the ring just in time! Falcon rolled through unharmed, and now he's up, asking for a fight! D! looks like he might oblige! Come on, D!, don't be a... "You suck!" Chants the crowd. D! is walking away from the ring toward the curtain! "(BLEEP) THIS!" he yells at Falcon. Falcon shakes his head and retrieves the plaque from the canvas...
BILL HEWSON: Wait a minute, it's the commissioner!
Terry Brandon has come out of the curtain. D! tells him to get out of his way, but Brandon tells him to stay put and goes to ringside, grabbing a microphone.
TERRY BRANDON: Well it seems like you two have a little issue with each other. Jacob, you laid out a challenge, oh, weeks ago to D!, right? We never did get a response. Doesn't seem like D! wants anything to do with you.
D! shakes his head. He's done, turns around again to leave---
TERRY BRANDON: Hold on just one second, there, D!. Way I see it, you didn't come back to NAPW to TALK. And the way I see it, it looks like we got a perfect return match for you! Jacob? You still want D!?
Jacob nods his head emphatically. Oh hell yeah.
TERRY BRANDON: How about you, fans? You want to see "The Falcon" take on D!?
ROAAAAAAR! Hell yeah they want it!
TERRY BRANDON: Then seems to me that the only person who doesn't want this match is you, D!. Tough! Next week in Edmonton at BINGO TANGO!!, Polish Hall, it will be "THE FALCON" JACOB VENAR vs D!, one on one!
Venar's music hits as D! fumes near the curtain. Jacob climbs the turnbuckles and stares directly to D!.
BILL HEWSON: VENAR! D! WHAT A MATCH THAT WILL BE! Bingo Tango!! is turning into one of the biggest cards all year!
***DVD EXTRA***
In an Ogden Hall hallway, Wayne Wright's peeking behind a corner, chortling.
WAYNE WRIGHT: Okay, Matt, this is going to be AWESOME! You see that big X on the floor on the middle of the hallway down there? Once Mr. Slick's jackass double stands underneath it, all you have to do is pull on this rope!
The camera pans up the rope, as we follow it to the chain of a fan. The fan's blowing path contains some playing card boxes, stacked like dominoes. A cup with a tennis ball on top of it is in the path of the card boxes. The ball is on the standard Hot Wheels track that winds down to a wind-up robot with sparks. In the robot's path, a sparkler candle. At the halfway point of a sparkler is a strip of magnesium that leads to a jar that reads cooking oil. Above the cooking oil, Wayne's hung a foam mattress where a cat lies, sleeping. The foam mattress is sitting on the low end of a small seesaw. Under the other, hanging, end of the seesaw is a latch which leads to a fire alarm. Underneath the sprinkler head is a bucket. The bucket's directly above a George Foreman Grill containing a pile of ground beef. Underneath the grease tray is a two-platform scale. A nine-volt battery is perched above where the other side of the scale would rise to. A gear attaches the battery to the winding mechanism of a crossbow. Directly in the line of fire of the crossbow is a weather balloon which is tied to a cage. And, of course, the cage is directly above the X painted on the floor.
MATTHEW KURTIS: Where did you get all this stuff?
WAYNE WRIGHT: It's all in the Legion here.
MATTHEW KURTIS: Really. You found a crossbow?
WAYNE WRIGHT: Look, does it matter? This contraption is going to catch Gary for you.
A noise startles Wayne.
WAYNE WRIGHT: Shhh! Here he comes!
In the other hallway, Gary comes out of his locker room, ready and rarin' to go for his match. He's got his brand new ring tights on, and he's sipping a coffee. He notices the large X on the floor, and looks above to see the cage swinging at the ceiling.
MR. SLICK'S DOUBLE: Oh, HELLS no! You've got to be trippin' if you think that I'm going to stand on this big X.
He crosses his arms, and leans on the wall, right out of standing distance to Wayne's device.
MATTHEW KURTIS: Hell with this.
Matt hikes up his shirt sleeves and runs at Gary, slamming him into the wall. Gary collapses to the ground, as the Bluegrass Badass mounts him and starts laying on the punches. At the end of the hallway, Terry Brandon exits and notices the scuffle.
TERRY BRANDON: Hey! Just what do you think you're doing?
Matt leaps off Gary and brushes himself off, walking calmy out past Wayne and daring Brandon to do something.
MATTHEW KURTIS: Plan B.
WAYNE WRIGHT: But! But! My invention! I go through all that trouble, and you can't even PULL the damn rope?
As Wayne throws a tantrum, he accidentally pulls the rope. And the fan starts. As Wayne watches, the parts of his machine do their job. After a full minute of the camera staying on Wayne, watching his reactions, you hear a clatter and a "HEY!"
Wayne peers around the corner and grimaces.
WAYNE WRIGHT: Sorry, Josh!
JOSH REYNOLDS: (from offscreen) Hey! How am I supposed to do my job when I'm in a cage? HELLO?
Wayne slinks off as we fade to black.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for ONE fall, and it is for the NAPW Canadian Heritage Championship!
"SURPRISE! YOU'RE DEAD!"
The boos instantly fill the arena. Jake Phoenix comes out from the back, the REBEL World title belt dangling from his hand, soaking in the boos on the way to the ring.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, from Fort Lauderdale, Florida. He stands at an astonishing six foot nine inches and weighs an amazing two hundred and eighty-nine pounds. He is the CHALLENGER... and the REBEL PRO WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... "THE MURDER CITY DEVIL"... JAKE! PHOENIX!
BILL HEWSON: You know that Phoenix didn't exactly earn this shot, he got it by attacking Trent Daniels right after Daniels went through three men to win the Heritage title to begin with!
JACK JONES: The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, man! Phoenix isn't messing around, he wants that Heritage title, and he wants the World title..
BILL HEWSON: Oh wait, look at this! Phoenix is right in Ravager's face on the floor! We might have a situation here!
Phoenix has stopped to jaw at Ravager, who's in the front row, and Ravager's right up in his face, only the guardrail separating the two men! The crowd is on their feet, but security is rushing to ringside to get between the two men before things get out of hand! Finally, Phoenix gets up on the ring apron, in front of Ravager, and holds up the REBEL title, while making the "I Want Da Belt" motion with his other hand, looking right down on Ravager.
JACK JONES: That's gotta kill Ravager to see Phoenix with one belt, and about to win another!
BILL HEWSON: You know as well as we do that Ravager's given Phoenix a lot of credit for his success, both here and in REBEL.. but it's been Ravager costing Phoenix both Sole Survivor and in the Bunkhouse Stampede! I just hope security can keep this calm tonight!
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent...
"ON MY SOAP BOX YELLING INTO MEGAPHONES!"
FRANK WARBURTON: From our nation's capital, Ottawa Ontario! He stands five-feet, ten inches tall and weighs two-hundred and ten pounds! And he is the REIGNING NAPW HERITAGE CHAMPION... Ladies and gentlemen... TRRRRRRRENNNNNNNNNNNNT DANIELLLLLLLLLLLLLS!
As Trent Daniels walks out, the crowd pops at the appearance of the Heritage champion! His ribs are still taped up from previously, but he's here to fight! He slaps hands with fans, but his eyes haven't left Jake Phoenix, who's just waiting in the ring for him, cracking the knuckles on his gloved fists in anticipation.
BILL HEWSON: Trent Daniels' ribs have suffered a lot over the last few weeks.. first Prince W. Darko, then the battle with Dan Ryan.. they're obviously still bothering him!
JACK JONES: And you better believe Jake's gonna work those over! He should've left them untaped, he may as well have painted a big bullseye on those ribs!
BILL HEWSON: It's a bad situation, either you leave them untaped and unprotected, or you tape them and make them a target!
The referee holds up the Heritage title belt for the Calgary fans to see.. and Phoenix goes right after Daniels, but Daniels sidesteps Phoenix and answers with chops! The bell rings and we're officially underway, Phoenix misses a right hand, Daniels answers, he's keeping Phoenix off-balance! Daniels off the ropes, ducks the clothesline, off the ropes again... DROPKICK by Daniels, and Phoenix is staggered into the ropes! Off the ropes again... another dropkick sends Phoenix OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR! But Phoenix is on his feet!
BILL HEWSON: Daniels starting quick here, he's going right after Jake Phoenix!
JACK JONES: Yeah, but Daniels has to keep this up!
Daniels with a baseball slide, and Phoenix is sent back into the guardrail! Daniels grabbing the top rope, measuring Phoenix... SLINGS HIMSELF OVER THE TOP, BUT JAKE PHOENIX CATCHES HIM ON THE WAY DOWN! And Phoenix RAMS him backfirst into the ringpost! Daniels clutches at his ribs, that had to make the champ's entire spine jostle! Daniels pulling himself up as Phoenix shakes the cobwebs out and rolls Daniels back in.
JACK JONES: And now we have some fun!
BILL HEWSON: Fun for who, you?
JACK JONES: No, Jake Phoenix!
Jake Phoenix rolls back in as Daniels gets to his knees.. and Phoenix just PUNTS him right in the ribs! Morgan Smythe admonishing Phoenix for the point of the boot being used but he brushes her off. Phoenix backs up and measures for another kick... Daniels catches the leg! Phoenix can't get his foot free! And Daniels takes him down with a spinning drop toehold! Phoenix on all fours... and Daniels with a bulldog right into his knee, and Phoenix is down! COVER BY DANIELS!
ONE!
TWO!
Kickout by Phoenix! Daniels back to his feet, SEATED DROPKICK! Phoenix back down, and Daniels heads up to the second rope, waiting for the Murder City Devil to get to his feet, jumps..
..and Phoenix rises up and NAILS him with a lariat on the way down!
BILL HEWSON: That was a great counter by Phoenix, and just like that, he shut the champion down again!
JACK JONES: Show him a "good time," Jake!
Phoenix does exactly that, shoving Daniels into the corner and measuring him for a hard soupbone to the face, and another one! Back elbow and Daniels is being held up in the corner! Phoenix points right at Ravager at ringside and yells "THIS IS FOR YOU!" before sending Daniels down with a final right hand! Phoenix pulls him up, and this time, he's laying in with vicious bodyblows right to the taped ribs! Those punches are almost lifting him right off the ground! Morgan Smythe is finally in there to back Phoenix out of the corner, but Daniels is hurt!
BILL HEWSON: You don't like to see this kind of onslaught.. and Daniels appears to be spitting up blood!
JACK JONES: First blood goes to Phoenix, it won't be the last of it!
Phoenix grabs Daniels by the wrist and pulls him up.. and into a short clothesline! COVER BY PHOENIX!
ONE!
TWOOOO!
KICKOUT BY DANIELS! Phoenix complains to Morgan Smythe saying that should've been three, but it was definitely a two-count! Phoenix picks Daniels up by the hair... scoops him up, BACKBREAKER ACROSS THE RIBS! And Phoenix HOLDS him on his knee, working those ribs right across the point of the knee, pushing down on the neck and arms!
JACK JONES: Daniels is getting twisted like a pretzel!
BILL HEWSON: Phoenix is putting Daniels through torture, you can see how much those ribs are hurting him now! He has to be in excruciating pain!
Phoenix barks for Smythe to "ASK HIM!", but Daniels, a trickle of blood escaping his lips, is not giving up yet! The crowd is cheering for Daniels to get out of this, and Phoenix turns his head to tell them to shut up -- Daniels NAILS Phoenix with a punch to the nose! And ANOTHER! A third one and Phoenix loses his grip on Daniels!
BILL HEWSON: Phoenix HAS to be thinking about Ravager at ringside, and it just cost him a possible submission!
JACK JONES: Jake, concentrate on the match!
Daniels back to his feet, gets to the ropes... runs at Phoenix, but Phoenix catches him with a knee to the taped ribs! Daniels down to one knee..Phoenix lifts Daniels up... and just TOSSES HIM BACK like a sack of crap, Daniels crashes into the mat and rolls to the apron! Daniels pulls himself up using the top rope.. Phoenix with a forearm slumping him down! Smythe tells Phoenix to let him back in the ring, Phoenix shoves her away... measures, BIG BOOT MISSES AND PHOENIX CROTCHES HIMSELF ON THE TOP ROPE! Daniels with a right hand, and another.. AND A CLOTHESLINE BACK IN! PHOENIX IS CAUGHT IN THE ROPES!
JACK JONES: GET HIM OUT OF THERE!
BILL HEWSON: Jake Phoenix's leg is trapped in the ropes, and he's trying to get free, but he's a sitting duck! Elbowdrop by Daniels! Kneedrop! Daniels out to the apron... SPRINGBOARD AND A SPLASH TO PHOENIX! BACK OUT TO THE APRON, ANOTHER SPRINGBOARD, ANOTHER SPLASH!
JACK JONES: Come ON, referee, get Phoenix out of there!
BILL HEWSON: Daniels taking FULL advantage of Phoenix's entrapment, and there's nothing the Murder City Devil can do!
Smythe finally gets Phoenix's leg loose, but the damage has been done! Daniels swoops in, DDT! COVER!
ONE!
TWOOO!
TH-NO! Phoenix kicks out at two! Phoenix staggering back up into the corner, Daniels is right on him! He's on the second rope, punches away at him in the corner! Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, TEN! And now he turns around with Phoenix, SYSTEM CRASH!
No.
Phoenix throws him off the buckles.. AND PUTS HIS LIGHTS OUT WITH A BIG BOOT TO THE FACE!
Phoenix is up, and Phoenix is PISSED. Thumb across the throat as he drags Daniels up, and scoops him up for the Tombstone. If Daniels has a counter, this would be a good time.
Not happening.
TOMBSTONE.
Phoenix hooks Daniels' leg for the cover, and stares RIGHT at Ravager as he counts along.
"ONE."
"TWO."
"THREE."
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner... and NEW Heritage Champion! JAKE PHOENIX!!
Phoenix grabs the REBEL title belt from the corner, and Smythe hands him the Heritage title belt. Phoenix stands at the ropes and holds up both championship belts. REBEL World champion. And now, the NAPW Heritage champion, Phoenix is now a singles champion in two countries.
BILL HEWSON: Daniels gave it his all, but in the end, those ribs were too much for him to overcome..
JACK JONES: No, Jake Phoenix was too much for him to overcome! And we've got a NEW Heritage champion out of it!
BILL HEWSON: Wait, Phoenix is demanding the microphone.. now what does he want?!
JACK JONES: The champ's gotta celebrate!
PHOENIX: RAVAGER!
Ravager hasn't taken his eyes off Phoenix since the Tombstone. Hell, the whole match. He's definitely got his attention now.
PHOENIX: I know it's gotta *BLEEP*in' kill you to see me standin' here, runnin' roughshod over YOUR promotion.. just like it PISSED ME OFF when you cost me Sole Survivor and cost me ten *BLEEP*in' grand!
Cheer!
PHOENIX: I'm sick of you *BLEEP*in' with me, Ravager! And that's why I've got a little proposition for you, since you can't stay gone and you ain't smart enough to walk away! Let's do this in the ring where it matters! YOU AND ME, NEXT WEEK IN EDMONTON!
REALLY LOUD CHEER!
PHOENIX: And if you win, Ravager... you're back in NAPW!
EVEN LOUDER CHEER! The crowd is going banana!
PHOENIX: But when *I* win, Ravager... not only do I get a shot at the World title.. but you're GONE, and you STAY GONE! When I beat you one more time in Edmonton next week, Ravager.. YOU ARE BANNED FROM NAPW *FOREVER!*
BILL HEWSON: Phoenix is giving Ravager a chance to get back into NAPW!
JACK JONES: I wouldn't call it a chance... more like Phoenix just wants a legal means to cripple Ravager once and for all!
Phoenix has thrown the house mic to the first row, where it's caught by Ravager. Ravager has to think about this, the chance to get back into NAPW. Double or nothing. Winner take all.
He does.
For about half a second.
RAVAGER: I ACCEPT!
The crowd. Goes. NUTS.
BILL HEWSON: JAKE PHOENIX AND RAVAGER, NEXT WEEK AT BINGO TANGO, ONE MORE TIME! And if Ravager wins, HE'S BACK IN NAPW!
JACK JONES: But if Ravager can't beat Phoenix, he's gone from NAPW for good! He's got one chance... and he's going up against a double-champion! Nobody has been able to stop Jake Phoenix for MONTHS! Ravager is DONE, for good!
Ravager raises his arms to the cheers of this crowd, as Phoenix exits the ring, staring right at him while holding up both the NAPW Heritage title and the REBEL World title belts. Bingo Tango, it's Phoenix-Ravager IV... but can Ravager beat Phoenix with EVERYTHING on the line?!
-INTERMISSION-
"BAD BOYS, BAD BOYS! WHATCHA GONNA DO?"
To a cheer from the Calgary fans, Joey Malone appears at the curtain, dressed to compete. Alongside him is the "Original CK," Chris Kamikaze, and the stunning redhead, Mandy, dressed in a black and pink baby doll t-shirt, black hip-hugging shorts, and her trademark high-heeled tennis shoes. They make their way to the ring, passing some WGA supporters and one teenager with a sign saying "I drove from Red Deer to see Mandy." She hugs him.
They enter the ring, and Joey asks for a microphone.
BILL HEWSON: Joey want to confront Matthew Kurtis, no doubt.
JOEY MALONE: I bet you're wondering why Chris and I are wearing our ring gear tonight, since the representatives of the Worker's Guild of Alberta were SUPPOSED to be Gary, Mr. Slick's Double and Esteban. Well, Gary is currently being looked after by the medical staff here, Esteban's in the locker room, hunched over a garbage can puking his guts out, and we haven't seen Big Mitch for an hour now! So it looks like it's down to just me and Kamikaze to team up with Stein to face off against Matthew Kurtis and his goon squad!
The crowd boos.
JOEY MALONE: Now, I pride myself on not losing my temper that often, but Matt Kurtis has some things to explain. Matt, get your overdeveloped ass out into this ring right now! All year long, you've been gunning for me and my friends, and I've had it up to here with you! It's time you explained exactly why you're such a... such a...
Chris Kamikaze grabs the mic.
CHRIS KAMIKAZE: What my pal Joey here is trying it say is "Matt Kurtis, you're seven pounds of douche in a four pound bag! Yeah, you got out thought by a girl, and right Stein on our side, there's NO way you're going to win this match!"
As Joey shakes his head in panic, Metallica's "Seek and Destroy" hits the public address system. The crowd erupts into boos as the "BlueGrass BadAss" Matthew Kurtis and Grade "A" Alberta Attitude ("The Moose" Mark Millar & Wayne Wright), all in ring gear, walk through the curtain. Matt lets the crowd boo for a few moments before bringing the mic up to his mouth.
MATTHEW KURTIS: Hey Moose, Wayne look. It's the Workers Guild of Alberta... or at least the surviving members. I'll have to give you credit,Joey I figured you'd be out here crying like a schoolgirl because of what we did to your friends. By the way as far as what happened to Big Mitch, I'll give you a hint where we left him laying... "FATTIE, FATTIE 2X4 COULDN'T FIT THROUGH THE BATHROOM DOOR!" But being the nice guys we are we left his oxygen mask on him and his tank hooked up.
The crowd boos as Matt admits that the "accidents" that happened to the other three members of the WGA were not accidents at all but Matt Kurtis & Grade "A"s handywork.
MATTHEW KURTIS: And hey congrats for picking up my sloppy seconds with Mandy there, what an accomplishment that is. I mean I heard that after I dumped her stupid ass that she had turned into the biggest whore Paducah, Kentucky ever saw but I never expected her to go international and pick up charity cases such as yourself. Chris Kamikaze, you talk about douches, well just ask Mandy all about that. I'll bet she has to use so much Summer's Eve you could pickle a whale with all the vinegar she uses after she screws you guys. Damn a girl ought to have some standards but I guess once you've had the best yadda, yadda, yadda.
Mandy mouths hangs open aghast and she looks like she's going to cry but she bites her bottom lip and composes herself however briefly.
MATTHEW KURTIS: As far as Mandy's actions last week, it most definitely had nothing to with her outsmarting anyone. Hell, trying to figure out two plus two strains her brain.The only reason she did that is because she knows that even I won't hit a woman or in this case a slut and neither will these guys. So I'm sure she has it in the back of her little pea sized brain to try to interfere again this week but that ain't going to happen because I have an old friend I'd like Amanda Michelle Trevathan to meet.
Matthew looks toward the curtain.
MATTHEW KURTIS: Oh sweet-heart do you want to come out to play?
"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN 'BOUT MY BAD REPUTATION!"
In response to Matt's question, "Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett comes over the P.A. as a tall attractive auburn-haired young woman in barefeet, wearing a sleeveless NAPW t-shirt and jeans sprints out to stand beside Matt. Her wrists are also taped, no mere valet, this girl came to fight. There's a murmurring in the crowd as nobody ever excepted to see Lyndsey Valentine back in NAPW and definitely not at the side of Matt Kurtis. Mandy let's out a cry of shock (and maybe fear) as Matthew grabs Lyndsey and kisses and then lets her go.
MATTHEW KURTIS: Ready Lynds?
LYNDSEY VALENTINE: Let's kick some ass!
MATTHEW KURTIS: My kinda girl, let's do it.
Matt throws his mic down, pulls off his t-shirt, and rushes the ring ring followed by Millar, Wright, and Lyndsey. Frank Warburton was in the middle of the getting to annouce the next match but wisely bails out as Grade "A" slides under the ring and are met with stomps by Joey and Chris. However their advantage doesn't last long all three of their opponents make it to their feet. Referee John Sharplin is right there to restore some order...
BILL HEWSON: It's a two on three --- wait a minute! Here comes STEIN! The WGA's partner tonight!
JACK JONES: Anyday now!
BILL HEWSON: Stein... coming...to...the... ring... he's in! John Sharplin calls for the bell and this match is officially under way now. Looks like we have Joey Malone squaring off with Matt Kurtis to start it off the team captains, so to speak.
JACK JONES: Wait there's stuff happening in the ring? I was looking at Mandy and Lyndsey at ringside, think there will be a catfight, Hewson?
BILL HEWSON: Oh brother. I don't think Lyndsey's the "catfight" type --- maybe the knock-your-teeth-out type. Anyway, stop drooling over the girls and watch the match.
JACK JONES: Stop drooling over the girls what are you gay?
BILL HEWSON: NO married.
JACK JONES: Oh God that's even worse.
BILL HEWSON: You're married too!
JACK JONES: Why are you ALWAYS bringing that up?
In the ring Joey Malone, still angry about what happened to his friends, and letting his anger get the better of his good sense, charges big Matt Kurtis but is caught by him and put hard hard with a sideslam. Matt picks Joey and whips him into the ropes and clotheslines him back down. Matt stomps away on Joey as the crowd boos Matt cups his hands to his ear.
BILL HEWSON: Who does Matt Kurtis think he is, Hulk Hogan?
JACK JONES: No Matt only has one bad knee.
Back in the ring Matt "helps" Joey to his feet only to whip him hard into the turnbuckles in WGA corner. Matt motions for Chris Kamikaze to tag Joey and CK does so. But before Chris can get in the ring, Matt charges and catches both WGA members with stereo clotheslines and cheapshots Stein and knocks him off the ring apron momentarily. Matt whips CK into his and Grade "A"s corner and follows him in with another clothesline. As Chris crumples to the mat, Kurtis tags in Mark Millar. The Moose goes to work immediately on Chris dropping multiple elbows on CK's chest. Mark picks Chris and sends him into the far ropes and catches him and appears to fall backwards but no drops Chris into the Stun Gun. Chris goes neck first over the top rope and hits the mat hard holding his throst in pain.
BILL HEWSON: That had to hurt Jack "Attack".
JACK JONES: Nope didn't hurt me at all I feel great.
BILL HEWSON: That's not what I...oh never mind.
JACK JONES: What?
Back in the ring Mark goes to pick up CK but Chris grabs a double handful of beard of snapmares the Moose over. Quickly CK hits the ropes and comes off with spinning heel kick that actually connects and sends Mark down. Chris drops an elbow and bounces up --- goes halfway across and heads back toward the Moose with roling Thunder!!!
But meets Mark's knees. Kamikaze is dragged across the ring where Mark tags in Wayne Wright. Wayne immediately goes to work on Chris picking him and suplexing him down hard. Wright grabs CK's left leg into a painful half-crab and pulls back hard. As Sharplin is watching the action Mandy tries to sneak up behind Matt but is quickly cut-off by Lyndsey and even quicker retreats to the safe side on the ring.
Lyndsey glares at her and gives her a warning to stay put. Back in the ring Chris manages to make it to the rops and Wayne breaks the hold on the four count, drawing a warning from Shaplin. Wayne tells him he "I have a five count" and turns his attention to Kamikaze who surprises him with a beautiful standing clothesline. As Wayne goes down Chris scrambles across the ring and tags in Stein? Even though Joey was straining for the tag. Stein as usual moves in his own unique way and pace.
BILL HEWSON: The pace of this match will change now with Stein tagging in.
JACK JONES: Yeah everyone can go to the snack bar and Stein still won't be across the ring.
Wayne Wright, maybe tired of waiting for his opponent, charges Stein and gets caught with a vicious throat chop. Wayne goes down hard and is hauled up by Stein into a Gorilla Press slam. Wayne bounces hard off the mat and rolls toward his corner.
BILL HEWSON: The unorthodox Stein is getting the better of Wayne Wright here.
JACK JONES: Unorthodox...a nice way of saying weird as Hell.
Wayne manages to tag in the Moose and Stein greets him with an offer to shake his hand. The visibly confused Moose obliges. Stein calls for a test and Moose locks up with a smirk thinking that he should easily win this this. At first Millar has the advantage but Stein quickly gains the upper hand has Millar down to his knees and stomps on his hands. The crowd cheers Stein as he grabs Millar in a doublehanded choke and tosses him into a corner. On the outside of the ring the two girls are playing a cat and mouse game, everytime Mandy moves toward Matt's corner Lyndsey moves toward her and Mandy backs off.
BILL HEWSON: Looks like Mandy wants to get involved but she's too afraid of Lyndsey to try anything.
JACK JONES: Come on Mandy, try something so Lyndsey can stop you! Please please please!
BILL Hewson: Need a tissue for your drool Jack?
Meanwhile Stein has Moose in the Tongan Deathgrip and Joey Malone is begging for a tag. Always a good sport, Stein tags him in. Joey goes to work with a series of knife edge chops that get the crowd wooing and he follows that with a Russian Legsweep. Joey drops an elbow to Mark's chest. Joey quickly climbs the ropes and comes off with a double stomp to the chest. Joey takes a few second to soak in the fans' cheers and that's a mistake. Millar is back up as Joey turns around. He nails Malone with a kick to the gut and hits a slingshot suplex that would make Tully Blanchard proud. He follows that up by hauling Joey up and whipping him into the ropes and connecting with a "Double A" Spinebuster.
Tag into Wayne Wright after that and the two of them go to work on Joey. They whip Joey into the ropes for a double clothesline and quickly follow that up with a double flapjack. As Moose leaves the ring Wayne drops Joey yet again with the backbreaker and goes for the cover...
ONE!
TWO!
Joey kicks out as the fans cheer. Wayne picks Joey and drops him hard across the knees with a backbreaker. He waits for Joey to regain his feet and hits a vicious European Uppercut. In his corner Chris Kamikaze begs for a tag and tries to encourage Joey who takes a jawbreaker from Wayne. CK begins clapping, rallying the crowd behind Joey! Wayne covers and only gets a two count. Snap Suplex by Wright on Joey who looks just about done in. Wright pulls a thumb across his throat as he him another vicious backbreaker on Malone.
BILL HEWSON: I think that will just about do it for "Bad Boy" Joey Malone.Yes Wayne Wright is signaling that it's time for "The Wright Way".
JACK JONES: About time. Stop screwing around Matt and Grade "A," finish them.
Wayne Wright drags Joey Malone to the center of the ring and grabs both legs and turns Joey over in his version of the Sharpshooter. The crowd is getting behind Joey and chanting "please don't tap" and Joey inches his way to his corner the crowd cheers louder. Wayne drags him back to the center of the ring. Joey yells in pain but refuses to give up and struggles to get to the ropes...
and finally does!
Sharplin counts and again Wright breaks the hold at the last second. As Joey writhes in pain on the mat Wayne walks over and spits in CK's face. This causes Chris to charge into the ring followed by Stein moving at his own pace, which is exactly what Wayne wanted. As Sharplin intercepts Chris, Moose slaps his hands together and gets into the ring. Wayne grabs Joey legs and Moose gets in the corner opposite them ready to charge ,Wayne catapaults Joey but where's Moose? Mandy finally saw her chance and grabbed ahold of Moose's leg but is now paying for it as Lyndsey is on top on raining down fists as Mandy tries to cover up.
BILL HEWSON: Good timing by Mandy, if Grade "A" Alberta Attitude had hit the Strikin' It Rich the match would be over. Now Mandy has to pay the price for saving her as Lyndsey is finally pulled off by Matt Kurtis.
JACK JONES: I'll say one thing about Lyndsey she looks good, but damn! She sure isn't the catfight type. She was wailing on Mandy.
BILL HEWSON: Told you so.
Back in the ring having finally separated the girls, Matt tags in and whips Joey into a neutral corner and follows him in with a brutual elbow smash. But before Joey can crumble to the mat, the Big Blue Asskicker climbs to the second rope and rains ten hard shots with that heavily taped right hand onto Joey's head. Joey barely keeps his feet by hooking both arms around the ropes. The crowd is trying to get behind him as Matt grabs him and sits him on the top rope. Matt climbs to the top rope and Joey tries to shove him off but a few more vicious right hands and Matt gets Joey into a suplex position on the top rope.
BILL HEWSON: OH MY GOD NO! This could break Joey in half. Don't do it Matt!
JACK JONES: C'mon Matt baby turn turn Joey into a greasy spot in the ring.
Matthew superplexes Joey back into the ring from had to be nearly twenty feet in the air. They hit with a sickening thud and Joey lays almost motionless as Matt rolls over for the cover.
BILL HEWSON: Joey Malone may be seriously hurt after that move. We need to get some help out here.
JACK JONES: They're already busy taking the rest of the WGA to the ER. Besdies the match ain't over yet.
BILL HEWSON: It will be in about three seconds, no matter the great heart of Joey Malone!
Back in the ring Matt goes to pin Joey but gets up as he sees Chris start to acsend the turnbuckles and for once CK doesn't fall.
Unfortunately, instead he is caught by Matt with one hand around his throat. Matt picks up Chris for the chokeslam but Joey Malone has recovered enough to drive a shoulder into the back of Kurtis' left knee. Joey drives and tags Stein and then joins CK in attacking Matt who was only briefly staggered by the attack on his knee.
BILL HEWSON: The tag to Stein and he gets into the ring and so Millar and Wright this thing is breaking down into a doonybrook as we thought it would.
JACK JONES: Yeah ain't it great?
In the ring Joey and Chris try to beat Matthew who hits a double clothesline on them and as they get up he grabs each by the throat and hits the stereo chokeslam. He then turns to meet Stein head on. Matthew and Stein trade punches...
until the unorthodox Stein manages to staggger Matt. Stein is then jumped by Joey Malone and Chris Kamikaze as again Grade "A" Targets Stein. Matthew has little trouble in fending off the remaining WGA but the same can't be said for Millar and Wright's luck against Stein. Both of them go down to a double lariat by Stein who then choketosses Wayne half way across the ring. Stein quickly locks Millar in the "Smothered in Ketchup" but before Sharplin can check to see if Moose wants to give up
WAYNE NAILS STEIN WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!
Stein doesn't release the hold so Wayne hits again a second time and this the hold is released. Sharplin was already calling for the bell!
FRANK WARBURTON: Referee John Sharplin has disqualified Wayne Wright so your winners are Stein and the Worker's Guild Of Alberta!
As the bell rings signaling the end of the match, Stein again powers Grade A away --- but Matt Kurtis picks up the lightweight Stein and gorilla presses him over the top rope to the floor! Oh my goodness!
With both Malone and CK down, Matt orders Millar and Wright to bring a table into the ring. As Matt stomps away on the fallen WGA members Mandy gets her courage and jumps on his back. Lyndsey hits the ring just as Matt unceremoniously leans over and dumps Mandy on her butt. Mandy stands, turns, and is hit by a hurtling Lyndsey Valentine spear. Lyndsey quickly positions Mandy and drops down into the "Valentine Massacre!"
BILL HEWSON: Lyndsey just nailed Mandy with her version of the "Widow-Maker!" My God, Mandy's not a wrestler! Mandy's going to be out for awhile... Now what is Matthew Kurtis and his goons up to?
JACK JONES: Can you say table for two?
Looks like Jones is right because in the ring Moose and Wayne have set up a table in the center of the ring.Matt slams Chris Kamikaze hard onto it... Not hard enough to break it though. Lyndsey rolls out of the ring and grabs a microphone as Matt pulls Joey up off the mat. Kamikaze starts to stir so Moose holds his arms and Wayne holds his legs. Matt places Joey's head between his thighs and pauses for a few moments while the fans boo.
He lets this go for several seconds. Matthew suddenly and viciously yanks Joey up over his head and brings him down onto Chris Kamikaze with a particularly vicious BLUEGRASS BOMB! THROUGH THE TABLE!
BILL HEWSON: Somebody please get them out of there, this is just a beating now. The match is over!
JACK JONES: Now what was it before? Besides look, they're leaving... or at least Grade "A" Alberta Attitude is.
Mark Millar and Wayne Wright leave the ring as Matt takes the mic and gets down close to the fallen WGA leader Joey Malone. He begins to talk with a sneer on his face.
MATTHEW KURTIS: Hey "Bad Boy" can you hear me? I hope so but if you can't there's always the video. Next week at "Bingo Tango," you and me are going to finish this once and for all. Because frankly I'm tried of beating you and these losers within an inch of your lives, I have more important things to accomplish. You and me next week, "Bad Boy," ... in a BLUEGRASS STRAPMATCH!
Matt throws the microphone back to Frank Warburton as he and Lyndsey leave the ring and head up the ramp to a chorus of boos. Stein crawls back into the ring, an expression of curious concern on his face.
JACK JONES: And that's how I saved the Danes!
BILL HEWSON: I don't recall that from Grade 12 History.
JACK JONES: Well, you know those historians and their anti-Jackian bias.
BILL HEWSON: Sure.
FRANK WARBURTON: NAPW fans, it is now time for the "UNTOUCHABLE" main event! The following is a first-fall, Triple-Threat contest at a sixty minute time limit... and is for the New Alberta Pro WORLD TITLE!
"I WANT EVERYBODY IN THIS ROOM TO KNOW... YOU CAN'T WHOOP ME!"
Drop the BEAT. And bring the BOOS. Here he comes.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing the first challenger, making his return from THE KINGDOM OF ZAMUNDA... standing six-foot-one and weighing two-hundred twenty-seven pounds... he is a former Heritage champion! PRINCE W. DARKO!
BILL HEWSON: And after an extended absense, what a way for Prince W. Darko to make his NAPW return. Right into an NAPW World Title match! I don't think the fans are all that happy for the crown prince, though, Jack Attack.
JACK JONES: Fans shmans. This is a long overdue title shot for Prince W. Darko! This very well could be the night he fulfills his manifest destiny as ruler of NAPW.
BILL HEWSON: And to think, all he had to do was win a random drawing after the scheduled challenger went down to an injury.
Darko is soaking up the boos and doing what he does best.
Running his mouth.
Behind his white face-mask Darko's lips are moving a mile-a-minute. He gets in one fans face, the fan screaming and holding up the middle finger, Darko inciting even more anger. He could start a riot. "Can't whoop me!" He walks around the ring at his own time before finally getting in and raising his arms high. He motions around his waist that he wants the belt.
Cut his music.
"Guess who's back?"
Hit it.
FRANK WARBURTON: And NOW! Making his way to the ring fighting out of Paducah, Kentucky... standing six-foot three weighing two-hundred and thirty pounds, he is a two-time NAPW Tag Team Champion! Ladies and gentlemen, challenging for the NAPW World Title... "THE SHOW" CHAD KURTIS!
"They say I'm cocky!
And I say WHAT?
It ain't bragging mother*BLEEP*er if you back it up!"
And the crowd pops, big-time, as The Show saunters out from the entrance, hood pulled over his head.
BILL HEWSON: "The Show" is ready for this title shot! Remember, it was just last week that Chad Kurtis and Dan Ryan wrestled to a double count-out, with neither man able to make it back into the ring after Kurtis hit a high-risk moonsault onto the champion through the announce table.
JACK JONES: I think Chad forgot he was wrestling NAPW rules down there among the unwashed REBEL fans. This isn't Chairshot Pro up here!
BILL HEWSON: Remember how Show earned this title shot. He is the only man to have cleanly pinned Dan Ryan since "The Ego Buster" began competing in NAPW full-time. He's beaten Krenshov, again cleanly. But The Show has been going at a high clip for so many weeks now. The tremendous match-up against Jake Phoenix, last week, his performance in Sole Survivor. He is not at 100%, but as we have all seen, nothing will prevent him from giving his all each and every match.
JACK JONES: And he's going to be in a wheelchair by the time he's 30.
BILL HEWSON: That remains to be seen. It's high-risk, high-reward for Chad Kurtis... and you can see already he and Prince Darko are not fans of each other. They never have been, not since they started in NAPW, not even when both men were managed by Ian Smith!
Darko is running his mouth, but "The Show" can talk himself. But before these two decided to just start the match themselves...
"Emptiness is loneliness
and loneliness is cleanliness
Cleanliness is godliness
And God is empty
JUST LIKE ME"
FRANK WARBURTON: And now... hailing from Houston Texas, he stands six-feet, seven inches and weighs three-hundred and thirty five pounds! He is the 2008 Canada Cup winner and YOUR REIGNING NAPW WORLD CHAMPION... ladies and gentlemen, "THE EGO BUSTER!" DAN RYAN!
A mixed reaction, full of a lot of boos as the massive form of Dan Ryan steps through the curtain. He is ready to go in his black trunks and boots, the NAPW World Title belt strapped around his waist.
BILL HEWSON: The World Champion, ladies and gentlemen, one of the best ever in the business. The fans don't much like him, but I don't think it fazes Dan Ryan.
JACK JONES: What do the fans know? They loved Dan Ryan when he first arrived, until he started beating all their favorites. Now they bleat about how he acts like he's "too good for NAPW," but do you know what Dan Ryan does different in NAPW than in every other place he's wrestled over the past ten years?
BILL HEWSON: What's that?
JACK JONES: Nothing! Dan Ryan isn't here for the fans, or their applause. He's not here to be LIKED. He's here to WIN. And that belt around his waist means he's done just that. Somebody has to beat him and it hasn't happened yet! Don't you find it interesting that NAPW has thrown Dan Ryan into this triple-threat match? He doesn't even have to be pinned to lose the title!
BILL HEWSON: The first-fall ends the match, and you are absolutely correct. If Chad Kurtis pins Prince Darko or vice versa, the title changes hands. Dan Ryan could LOSE the NAPW title without being involved in the decision. With that said, Chad Kurtis the only man with a clean pinfall on Dan Ryan, and he'd love to it again with the World title on the line.
JACK JONES: Don't you dare forget about Prince Darko. All it takes is one Zamunda Driver and we have a new champion.
BILL HEWSON: Darko the wild card, the history between Chad Kurtis and Dan Ryan clear... folks, we are set to get this world title match underway!
Dick Kiebiech checks over all three men for foreign objects - he finds an afro pick in Darko's boot, but otherwise they're all clean - and calls for the bell.
DING DING DING
Three men in the center of the ring, all sizing each other up. Dan Ryan towers over both. Chad Kurtis with a look of defiant confidence in his eyes. And Prince W. Darko, running his mouth, talking trash on both men...
Ryan and Kurtis exchange a glance, and double-punch Prince W. Darko! Darko flies backwards, rises, gets a dropkick from Chad Kurtis! He gets up again, STILL running his mouth, Dan Ryan nails him with a lariat! STILL Darko gets up, and this time Dan Ryan and The Show each grab a hold, tossing Darko unceremoniously out of the ring to the floor.
BILL HEWSON: Prince Darko, bringing together people in hate of him since 87! Ryan and Kurtis want to do this mano-y-mano, Jack Jones.
JACK JONES: I guess they want to pick up where they left off!
The Show and Ryan circle and lock-up snug. Dan Ryan with the clear strength advantage gets behind The Show with a rear waist lock, looking for a big German Suplex! Chad throws his weight, blocking, but Dan Ryan turns into an amateur takedown putting Kurtis onto his belly. He floats over into a side headlock, cinching it on.
BILL HEWSON: And don't let his size fool you, Dan Ryan is as skilled as they come in the fundamentals of professional wrestling. Then again, Chad Kurtis is a former All-American in amateur wrestling at the University of Kentucky, so this could prove interesting on the canvas!
Chad stands up, Ryan still has the headlock on, but Chad grabs a leg. Ryan holds his footing, The Show swings out behind him with a hammerlock! Then into his own sideheadlock. He is "THE SHOW," folks, and he is for real. Ryan uses his positioning to hit a snapmare takeover... but Show holds onto the headlock and rolls through, holding Ryan onto the canvas. This is WRESTLING, friends ---
Prince W. Darko back in the ring, stomping away on Chad Kurtis! Darko hooks his man up, into the corner! Charge in, Kurtis slingshots over top of his man, then starts rocking Darko with right hands. Pow! Pow! Pow! Kurtis grabs Darko and beales him back outside through the ropes. He turns around and charges the rising Dan Ryan --- caught! Powerslam!
JACK JONES: Oh, what are these idiots booing for? OH NO, NOT THE EVIL POWERSLAM!
BILL HEWSON: Darko out to the floor AGAIN... I think it's safe to say that Chad Kurtis is the crowd favorite in this contest.
But Dan Ryan has some control now, going back to the side headlock. Hey, this ain't REBEL. It's New Alberta Pro WRESTLING. His size gives him some great positioning over Chad, using his leverage to really cinch it in. Chad fights to his feet, throws an elbow into the midsection. Another. A third gets Chad free. He grabs Dan Ryan and shoots him to the ropes... Chad blitzes at Ryan, but it's Chad who goes down as they collide shoulder to shoulder! Ryan looks down, hits the ropes again, Chad drops down, rebound Ryan, Chad leapfrogs the man, Ryan rebounds and Kurtis gets a beautiful dropkick to the kisser. Ryan drops back to the ropes, still on his feet, as The Show grabs a hand and leaps to the top rope. Great balance! Leap off... into a Flying headscissors ---
DAN RYAN POPS UP AND LARIATS CHAD OUT OF HIS BOOTS! What a shot! Ryan cricks his neck, Wait, here comes Darko! Darko charges at Dan Ryan, sidestepped, Ryan tosses Darko to the floor once again!
JACK JONES: Well, I guess Dan Ryan can do that to Prince Darko. But not Chad Kurtis!
BILL HEWSON: It seems that Chad Kurtis and Dan Ryan are quite content to keep this as much of a one-on-one contest as they can. Darko has yet to get anything going and now he's back on the floor! And what the... is that Dan Miller?
Dan Miller has come out to the front row, taking an empty seat, holding a sign saying "CHAD KURTIS FEARS THE DYNASTY." The Show doesn't notice it or chooses not to acknowledge it. He has a World Title to win.
Chad is back up, Dan Ryan takes an arm and hammers into the shoulder and neck of Chad. All to set up either one of his finishers. Gets behind Chad, back suplex! That dumps Chad, cover gets a two-count, Chad kicking out well before three. Ryan again to the headlock, trying to squeeze the life out of the challenger. Chad goes back to the well, one, two, three elbows. He runs the ropes WHAM. Ryan grabs the hair and slams him down as he gets going, cutting off the hope. Crowd boos. Ryan looks out as if to say, "If you didn't like that, you'll hate this." He changes it up and whips Chad to the ropes... HUGE belly to belly suplex sends Chad skidding all the way across the ring.
Ryan pulls Kurtis up, scoops him up for Snake Eyes, Chad gets out behind and shoves Ryan into the corner. Kurtis with a back somersault roll-up! One! Two! Ryan kicks out! Chad tries to get Ryan, but is cut-off and shot to the ropes, lariat, ducked, backslide pin by Kurtis! One! Two! Another kick-out by the World Champ! Ryan charges in, Kurtis with a drop toe-hold! And he floats over cinching in the headlock again, controlling the world champion ---
Darko with a running boot to the head of Chad Kurtis! That'll leave a mark. And now Prince W. Darko is furious. He lays in the boots to Chad Kurtis, holding the top rope just wailing away on The Show! Dan Ryan is getting up, Darko beating the hell out of Kurtis. Ryan grabs Darko from behind, German --- Low blow by Darko! Trick knee acted up. The referee didn't quite see it, asking what's up. Darko looks out over the crowd, HATE in his eyes as both Kurtis and Ryan are down momentarily!
BILL HEWSON: The dark horse challenger suddenly has an opportunity! Both Ryan and Kurtis have given it to each other, and Darko - by virtue of being uninvolved most of this match - is essentially a fresh man!
JACK JONES: And he's channeling David Banks! Look out!
Darko stomps on Dan Ryan, the world champ grimacing as he holds his nutsack. Chad Kurtis is getting up, holding his head... and Darko with a running big boot knocks Chad through the ropes! Geez, what a shot. Dan Ryan is getting to his feet as Prince W. Darko hovers like a vulture, waiting for a moment. Ryan is up, Darko with a vicious gouging of the eyes. Darko gives up over a hundred pounds but he comes off the ropes with a CHOP block to the knee! The champ staggers but stays standing, Darko kicks the knee. And again. Chop block. Ryan somehow stays up, but Darko hits another one and puts the champ down. Twists the leg, elbow drop to the knee! Ryan grunts in pain as Darko delivers another elbow drop. Kick! Knee to knee! Darko going BILLY BERSERK!
And then... are you kidding?
Prince W. Darko locks on the FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK! MIDDLE OF THE RING! WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP IN THE BALANCE!
BILL HEWSON: Dan Ryan is one of the best, he has so much endurance, but no matter how big you are, your knees need to be healthy. Being in the figure-four leglock is NOT a friend of healthy knees!
JACK JONES: Come on, Darko... I mean, come on Ryan, get out... I mean... augh! I don't know what to think! Tell me what to think!
BILL HEWSON: Referee Dick Kiebiech watching Ryan closely, asking the champion if he wants to give it up... and while he's not looking, Prince Darko just grabbed the middle rope for added leverage!
JACK JONES: Prince W. Darko studied his "Nature Boy" before he came back!
Ryan's shoulders are on the canvas, one, two, he gets them up. Oh.... no no no. Kiebiech looks over, Darko's let go of the ropes. Back to Dan Ryan, one, two, up again. Darko reaches up, grabs the middle ropes again. This is damaging as all get out to the champion! He's holding on... Dan Ryan is trying to turn it over! If he can reverse it, he reverses the pressure. Darko trying to block it, shaking his head... Ryan gets an arm up! He's fighting! Fighting... Turns it over!
Darko now in pain, but he's also right at the ropes and grabs them for dear life. Kiebiech prizes Darko and Ryan's knees apart. Ryan winces as he pulls his knee close, using the ropes to get up. Darko stalks in, but THE SHOW! Chad Kurtis back in this thing whips Darko around! Right right right! What shots! Irish whip, reversed, The Show crashes right into Dan Ryan, sending the champion to the floor. The Show staggers out... and gets CAUGHT by LAID OUT #TWO! INVERTED STO! Darko makes a cover, ONE, TWO, Show kicks out!
BILL HEWSON: We almost had a new champion right there, and without the current champ even being involved! Dan Ryan's knee is hurt, he needs to find the will to get back into the ring or this thing might end without him!
JACK JONES: What kind of a match puts the champion at such a disadvantage? If I didn't know better I'd swear NAPW WANTS Dan Ryan to lose the title!
BILL HEWSON: Come off it, Jones. NAPW only did what they thought was right and HOLD ON! Darko going for --- ZAMUNDA DRIVER! THIS IS ALL --- KURTIS GETS OUT! WAIT A MINUTE! CK FINALE --- Darko takes the legs out! CATAPULT into the corner Show lands on the second rope, TO THE THIRD ROPE, MOONSAULT! BEST MOONSAULT OVER ONTO A STANDING DARKO! STANDING SHOOTING STAR! COVER! ONE! TWO! NO!
Almost over like *that*. The Show whips Darko to the ropes, leg lariat takes the man down. What's this? The Show out to the ropes! He leaps up...
PRIME TIME SPLASH!
Hooks a leg, ONE, TWO, Dan Ryan yanks The Show off!
Darko rolls to the ring apron as Dan Ryan, hobbled but not dead, delivers some hard shots to The Show. Chad smartly kicks at the champ's knee and hits the ropes for speed SPINEBUSTER. Ryan PLANTS The Show to the canvas and makes a cover. ONE! TWO! Darko with the save!
Prince W. Darko off the ropes, looking for OVER AND OUT --- Ryan turns around! DARKO CAUGHT!
SPINEBUSTER ON TOP OF CHAD KURTIS!
Holy hell!
Dan Ryan pulls up a limp Darko, sticks his head between his legs. This is it! Humility Bomb time! He lifts Darko onto his shoulders, Darko struggling... Chad Kurtis takes out Ryan's knee! Wait a minute! Darko lands on top of Ryan! HAS A LEG!
ONE!
TWO!
Kick-out the champion! Chad saves just a split-second after the fact, trying to shake some damage loose. The Show has Prince W. Darko, going for the STARMAKER --- Darko flips out onto his feet, Chad turns around, gets LAID OUT #ONE! Darko to the ring apron, this could be all...
JUST PERFECTION SPRINGBOARD SWANTON!
He covers Chad Kurtis ONE, TWO, THKICKOUT! Chad Kurtis gets out in the nick of time. Darko says "CAN'T WHOOP ME!" and pulls Chad up, could it be Zamunda Driver?
YES! HOLY HELL!
THAT'S IT! COVERS CHAD KURTIS! WE'VE GOT A NEW CHAMPION!
ONE!
TWO!
TH--- DAN RYAN SAVES AT THE LAST SPLIT-SECOND!
Kurtis rolls to the ring apron, he's barely there. Meanwhile Dan Ryan is hammering on Prince Darko, but the Prince kicks at Ryan's damaged knee to stop the onslaught. Darko flips over the top rope... OVER AND OUT! That's all!
ONE!
TWO!
TH---
Dan Ryan kicks out at 2.9!
Darko says that's it, it's time for ZAMUNDA DRIVER! He hooks the arms of the world champion, can he lift three-hundred and thirty-five pounds? He tries to get the man up... Ryan ain't going nowhere. Darko tries again... this time Dan Ryan stands up and backdrops Darko to the mat. Darko gets up, but eats a knee lift. Ryan on a bum knee, but once again he sets his man up...
GOT DARKO UP!
HUMILITY BOMB CONNECTS!
Ryan damn near drops Darko thanks to the knee, but it does it's job. He crawls over and hooks the leg. THIS IS IT!
ONE!
TWO!
TH---
THE SHOW WITH A LAST SPLIT-SECOND SAVE!
BILL HEWSON: Dan Ryan a milli-second away from retaining but The Show recovered from the Zamunda Driver just in time! And this match is still on! The World Title hangs in the balance! Can any man get the three-count?
JACK JONES: Not if somebody keeps breaking it up!
Dan Ryan and The Show are up. Ryan wants a piece, throwing his big right hands, but Show rope-a-dopes, taking glancing blows but nothing that knocks him down. Chad behind, looking for a German suplex, Dan Ryan gets a go-behind, NAILS one, but Chad lands on his feet instead! Ryan turns around, kick to the knee staggers him! Ryan bends over, holding the knee, and Chad comes off the ropes with a RUNNING
CK FINALE!!!
Chad gets up, breathing heavily, and hooks a leg! IT'S OVER!
ONE!
TWO!
THRREEEEEEEE-
DARKO! DARKO! DARKO WITH THE SAVE!
BILL HEWSON: ANOTHER SAVE! The ZAMUNDA DRIVER! The HUMILITY BOMB! The CK FINALE! Nobody kicks out of these moves, but each time, the third man in the contest has somehow been able to make a last and I mean LAST second save! WHAT IS IT GOING TO TAKE?
JACK JONES: The 82nd Airborne, apparently!
Darko drops down after the save. Chad slumps over, that was a hell of an adrenaline rush. Dan Ryan lays on his back, eyes blinking up at the ceiling. All three men are spent. They've taken hellacious beatings and the biggest moves, only saved by the third man.
All for one thing.
The NAPW World Title.
Sweat is puddling on the mat as referee Dick Kiebiech begins to count. ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
BILL HEWSON: Oh no, somebody has to get up or this one is over!
JACK JONES: This is the time when you have to reach down, reach down past your guts, and WILL yourself up. Your body is telling you, stay the hell down... it's all in the mind. Who wants the World Title baddest, Bill Hewson? We're about to find out!
FOUR!
FIVE!
SIX!
Three men are trying to get up...
SEVEN!
EIGHT!
Darko to his feet!
Show to his feet!
NINE!
Dan Ryan to his feet!
Darko goes right for Dan Ryan, attacking the knee. The Show rips him off, chopping his man. He chops Dan Ryan too for good measure. Darko gouges one eye! Another! He trash-talks both men
SUPERKICKS!
Dan Ryan and Chad Kurtis with simultaneous superkicks nail Prince W. Darko. Ryan stumbles on his injured knee, and The Show grabs him. STARMAKER, but Ryan with a standing switch... DRAGON SUPLEX!
CRASH!
Kurtis folded up like an accordion. Darko is up, he gets to eat a GERMAN SUPLEX! Dan Ryan, on one knee, lifts Darko up on his shoulders... He hops on one leg!
But the delivery is impeccable. The Headliner Burning Hammer!
Darko's neck compresses in a bad way and Dan Ryan covers ONE! TWO!
Chad Kurtis dives!
THREE!
Saves half a second too late!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner... and STILL NAPW World Champion! "THE EGO BUSTER" DAN RYAN!
BILL HEWSON: It was a helluva match, but The Ego Buster retains the title! He had to bust out The Headliner to do it, and finally, the save came just a second too late.
JACK JONES: I can't believe it's actually over!
BILL HEWSON: All three men had huge opportunities to put this away. In any other match, the CK Finale, the Zamunda Driver, the Humility Bomb would be enough to end it. But time and time again the third man was able to make a save. This last time, Chad Kurtis was just a split-second too late. His dream to become NAPW World Champion denied. Prince W. Darko looked like a legitimate world title contender in there, I will give him credit. But after all is said and done, it is "The Ego Buster" leaving here tonight still NAPW World Champ.
JACK JONES: And that means... next week is Dan Ryan vs Bruce "The Beast" Richards?
BILL HEWSON: It will be the conclusion of "Murderer's Row" as "The Ego Buster" Dan Ryan defends the NAPW World Championship against Bruce "The Beast" Richards in Edmonton when NAPW brings to you Bingo Tango!! For Jack "Attack" Jones, this is Bill Hewson saying GOODNIGHT from Calgary!
Smashing Pumpkins are blaring as Dan Ryan holds the NAPW world title high. Darko has left, still muttering deliriously "CAN'T WHOOP... ZAMUNDA..." Kurtis look at Dan Ryan, offers a handshake at the very least. Ryan accepts, but Kurtis is clearly tremendously disappointed.
Fade out on Dan Ryan holding the title belt above his head in both hands. STILL your champion.