Calgary, Alberta, the Ogden Legion Hall. NAPW's Cowtown stomping grounds is packed tight as usual, a good few hundred or more fans cramming in to see the best wrestling in the west. Fans are milling about, checking out the merch table, getting snacks, some chatting away with their friends about what they want to see tonight. There is a very anti-Dirty Money vibe in the crowd signage, and of course lots of signs for their opponents tonight.
Looking dapper as always, Frank Warburton comes to center ring and turns on the microphone.
FRANK WARBURTON: Wrestling fans, please welcome New Alberta Pro Wrestling into your city once again!
Nice pop for that.
FRANK WARBURTON: Before we get to the first match, at this time I would like to introduce the commissioner of NAPW... Terry Brandon!
Brandon comes out of the curtain and heads to the ring. He shakes hands with Frank before taking the microphone.
TERRY BRANDON: Calgary, how in the heck are you tonight? It's cold but it's not so damn cold ya'll couldn't come out here tonight, what a house we have, fans, you are getting your money's worth tonight! We've got a stellar card for you, we have in action DEZ CARTER taking on D! (boos), the return of "Superstar" Tommy Deathrow --- hopefully (cheers and some laughs), we've got a huge match between "The Ego Buster" Dan Ryan (Cheers!) and Stone Zellor (Boos!), and of course the match you're all hyped for, the main event, the premiere attraction, a huge eight-man tag to close out the night!
The fans are ready for that. A small "LDK" chant breaks out before Terry goes on.
TERRY BRANDON: Now I know that lately there has been a lot of shenanigans here in NAPW, with Dirty Money interfering in each other's matches, with the Faces of Death acting like they can assault anybody they want without reprecussion, but I am serious about cleaning up NAPW! It seems no matter how many fines I levy I can't make some people see reason, well I tell you what, that is going to change! We have extra security tonight, we will do our damndest to make sure nothing out of control happens. And if somehow it does, you better believe that I *will* take action, even if it means changing the card for Anniversary Assault next week! This is a WRESTLING company and that means we need WRESTLERS to put on shows!
The crowd politely applauds with respect.
TERRY BRANDON: Now I know you didn't pay your hard-earned money to come see this old veteran in a cheap polyester suit ramble on all night, you came here to see the best in professional wrestling! So why don't we get onto that! Again, thank you for coming out, thank you for choosing NAPW, without your support we wouldn't be here! Enjoy the show, folks!
Terry takes his leave to applause as Frank Warburton, Bill Hewson and Jack "Attack" Jones prepare for the show...
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, our next match is scheduled for one fall and is to be contested under standard rules!
BILL HEWSON: Note thatm Jack "Attack," Tommy Deathrow no longer has the "Superstar Rules" no DQ stipulation attached to his matches. As a result of his no-shows over the summer, Deathrow had to sign a new contract to return to NAPW. We've rarely seen Tommy Deathrow outside of the hardcore environment.
JACK JONES: Oh boo hoo, he has to learn to wrestle. I don't know why Tommy Deathrow got preferential treatment in the first place. He doesn't even know how to bathe.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, from Wickcliffe, Kentucky... Weighing in at three-hundred and fifteen pounds... "THE BLUEGRASS BADASS" MATTHEW KURTIS!
"Seek and Destroy" by Metallica thunders throughout the Ogden Legion here in Calgary as Matthew Kurtis appears at the top of the aisle, alone. He begins the journey towards the ring as the boos rain down around him. Eventually his music does down as he steps in over the top rope and...
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent...
The cheers start.
FRANK WARBURTON: From St. Paul, Minnesota... Weighing in at two-hundred and fifty-four pounds... HE IS SUPERSTAR TOMMY DEATHROW!
The crowd explode in cheers as "Orange Crush" by R.E.M starts up. After a lengthy absence, Tommy Deathrow is back in NAPW action and he's striding towards the ring with a look of determination on his face. He hastily slides in under the bottom rope, climbing the closest turnbuckle to soak up the cheers from these fans as we await the beginning of this contest.
The bell sounds to start the match as Tommy Deathrow climbs down from the turnbuckle. Kurtis is still in his corner; but steps out as both men approach the center of the ring. 'The Bluegrass Badass' may have eight inches in height over his opponent, but Tommy's just crazy enough not to care. Well, he's a hell of a lot crazier than that - but the match starts up as STD throws the first punch after a bit of trash-talking by both men. Kurtis responds in kind, sending a huge haymaker straight to the jaw of Deathrow, but Tommy isn't phased. The back and forth action continues for a few shots before Deathrow connects with a boot to the gut, doubling the big man over momentarily --- DDT by STD!
BILL HEWSON: The SUPERSTAR not missing a step after his break from the ring!
Kurtis gets right back up, but Tommy's ready for him, laying in some forearm shots and forcing the big man back into the corner. An Irish whip sends Kurtis across the ring-- or it would have if he hadn't reversed it--and it's Deathrow who hits the turnbuckle chest first! He staggers back out towards the middle of the ring, whereupon he's caught by a back suplex; dropping STD on the back of his head! The big man, Matt drags his opponent back up to his feet, only to nail Deathrow with a huge side slam! The crowd don't like it as 'The Bluegrass Badass' begins to lay the boots in, and they like it even less as Kurtis drags Tommy up; gouging at his eyes as he does so.
BILL HEWSON: A dirty trick by Matt Kurtis puts him in control.
JACK JONES: Because Tommy Deathrow hasn't done thing a hundred times worse in his career. This is a man whose career has been carved by steel chairs, tables and falls from balconies, Hewson.
BILL HEWSON: But the eye-gouge is illegal in THIS match.
JACK JONES: That's just semantics!
Deathrow is on his knees, still in some pain after the eye gouge as his opponent goes against the ropes--BLUEGRASS MAFIA KICK? NO! Deathrow counters with a rising clothesline, damn near taking Matt Kurtis out of his boots! And that's not an easy task! Kurtis groggily gets back up as Deathrow takes him down with another clothesline. And again the same thing happens! The fans here in Calgary are starting to get behind Deathrow as he waits for Matt Kurtis to regain his vertical base ... Right hand by STD! And another! And a third one has Kurtis rocking on his feet before he's sent against the ropes with an Irish whip--LOU THESZ PRESS! And Tommy Deathrow explodes, hammering his opponent with repeated blows! Right and lefts raining down for what seems like an eternity before Anthony Uruburu steps in for the break.
Deathrow steps away, allowing the big man to get back to his feet before landing a boot to the midsection. Again, Kurtis is doubled over as 'The Superstar' grasps him around the waist as he goes for the DOMINATOR--NO! The big man is exactly that, he's too big and manages to counter with a back drop, sending Tommy crashing to the mat behind him. Deathrow begins to pull himself back up--CLOTHESLINE FROM KENTUCKY! And Kurtis hook the leg!
ONE!
TWONOO! Kick out by STD!
JACK JONES: There's still life in Tommy Deathrow?
BILL HEWSON: There's still life in SUPERSTAR Tommy Deathrow!
Matt Kurtis can't quite seem to believe it, but he drags Tommy back to his feet once more. A headbutt has STD staggering before he's sent across the ring with an Irish whip. Kurtis lowers his head for the back body drop--BOOT TO THE FACE BY STD! Followed by a boot to the gut and Tommy plants Matt Kurtis with a DDT--pancaking the big man! Kurtis is laid out in the center of the ring - but what's Tommy doing?
BILL HEWSON: What's he doing? This isn't one of his usual matches, he can't use a weapon of any kind here tonight.
DEATHROW HAS A CHAIR! He rolls back into the ring with it in his hand as the official, Anthony Uruburu is in the face of STD, telling him repeatedly that this match isn't being fought Superstar Rules and that chair will get him disqualified. The crowd are torn. Half wanting blood, the other half wanting Tommy not to lose.
His opponent is rising, working his way to all fours as STD lifts the chair high above his head ... Kurtis is on one knee, and Deathrow is just holding the chair there!
BILL HEWSON: Don't do it, Tommy!
JACK JONES: He can't hear you ... You have to shout. DO IT, HIT HIM! GET DISQUALIFIED!
But Deathrow tosses the chair aside!
And gets a boot to the gut for his trouble. Kurtis has him in place and he lifts him for THE BLUEGRASS BOMB! AND TOMMY SLIDES OUT DOWN THE BACK! Matt turns around in shock to find his opponent with one hand down his pants--SWEATY BALL CLAW! Oh, the humanity! Uruburu is checking for the submission as Kurtis gags and hurries towards the ropes to break the hold. STD releases the hold as Kurtis pushes him away--and charges with a clothesline--ducked by STD! Deathrow connects with a stiff shot to the midsection-- DEATHROW DRIVER! Three-hundred and fifteen pounds of Matt Kurtis just driven into the canvas! And a hook of the leg by Tommy Deathrow!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner, "SUPERSTAR" TOMMY DEATHROW!
BILL HEWSON: Let's be honest... after six months of flakiness and no-shows, we didn't know what Tommy Deathrow would show up here tonight --- if he showed up at all. But with a new look, new music, and a new attitude, Tommy Deathrow just picked up an impressive victory in Calgary. That's got to look good for STD's career!
JACK JONES: STD CAN'T look good. It's a genetic impossibility.
BILL HEWSON: He is the SUPERSTAR, Jack Attack, like it or lump it. Deathrow heads to the pay window here tonight.
Tommy celebrates as Matt inconspicuously retreats to the curtain. He makes sure to give his nipples a good rub for the fans' sake, sticking his tongue out.
BILL HEWSON: Now we're about to see what the newest team in NAPW has to offer!
JACK JONES: I just hope they brought their own body bags.
"Never Alone" by Dropkick Murphys hits the PA and the crowd gives a nice pop to the NAPW newcomers!
FRANK WARBURTON: Coming down to the ring, making their NAPW debut, they weigh in at a combined three hundred pounds, Sean & Seamus, the O'CONNOR BOYS!
The twin brothers emerge from the back and make sure that they slap the outstretched hands and greet their fans along the way down to the ring.
JACK JONES: Not to be racist, but all those guys from Ireland look alike.
BILL HEWSON: They're twins you fool.
The O'Connor Boys slide into the ring and look excited to start their career in NAPW.
FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents...
"I'm Not Jesus" by Apocalyptica f. Corey Taylor tears through the speakers and the cheers from the crowd turn to voracious boos.
FRANK WARBURTON: Weighing in at a combined five-hundred and sixty pounds, they are the #1 contenders to the NAPW World Tag Team Championship, Ravager & KRENSHOV....the FACES OF DEATH!
Ravager & KRENSHOV slide out from behind the curtain and swagger their way confidently down to the ring.
BILL HEWSON: The O'Connor Boys are in for a rough night! KRENSHOV weighs more than the two of them combined!
The Faces Of Death enter the ring and look totally unimpressed with the two men standing across the ring from them.
JACK JONES: Wow, talk about a trial by fire.
The referee calls for the bell and it looks like Sean and Ravager will start the match for their respective teams. The two lock up and Ravager easily powers the smaller man into a neutral corner. The referee calls for the bell and amazingly Ravager gives us a clean break, only to slap Sean across the face! As Ravager laughs the crowd breaks into a "You got bitch slapped!" chant. Sean rubs his face and smiles back at Ravager as he steps out of the corner. Again the two tie up and once more Ravager shoves O'Connor into the corner. This time however Sean quickly spins Ravager around and gives him a taste of his own medicine with a slap straight from Ireland! Ravager looks shocked as the crowd gives Ravager the same chant they just serenaded Sean with. Ravager charges out of the corner and takes a high hip toss from the O'Connor boy! Ravager is quickly back to his feet and is hit with a picture perfect standing dropkick to the mush!
JACK JONES: Am I seeing this? Did that little kid just punk out Ravager!?
BILL HEWSON: Sean O'Connor is showing the former World Champ that he's not intimidated!
Sean pulls Ravager to his feet and tags in his brother. A double Irish whip into the ropes is followed by a double back body drop that has the fans going crazy! Seamus is all smiles as he pulls Ravager off the mat only to have his face raked! Exploder suplex from Ravager leaves Seamus writhing in pain on the mat. Ravager drags Seamus to his feet and drags him to the Faces of Death corner. A tag to KRENSHOV brings in the monster. A huge scoop slam from KRENSHOV is followed an elbow drop from Ravager. On the ring apron Sean is stopping his foot and clapping his hands to get the crowd back into the match. KRENSHOV pulls Seamus to his feet and shots him into the ropes missing with a big boot to the face! Seamus ducks under and connects with a low dropkick to the knee of the former World Champ! Seamus hooks KRENSHOV for a suplex!
BILL HEWSON: No freakin' way!
No way indeed, KRENSHOV doesn't budge! Sean enters the ring and joins his brother in the suplex attempt. Instead KRENSHOV shows off amazing power by suplexing both of the O'Connor Boys! The twins are both back up and take a double clothesline from the monster KRENSHOV! The referee gets Sean out of the ring as KRENSHOV pulls Seamus back to his feet. Big forearm to the face of Seamus. A whip into the ropes and a brutal side slam from KRENSHOV is followed by the first cover of the match. Seamus rolls his shoulder at the count of two and the big man looks pissed. A tag brings in Ravager and the two of them both whip Seamus into the ropes. Both men drop their heads a second to early and Seamus connects with a kneelift onto KRENSHOV! Ravager is upright but takes a missile dropkick from Sean! Unhurt by the kneelift KRENSHOV goes for a clothesline on Seamus but the kid drops out of the way and the monster sails over the top rope and down to the floor!
BILL HEWSON: These kids are giving the Faces Of Death a serious run for their money! I think Ravager & KRENSHOV underestimated these kids!
JACK JONES: Why wouldn't they? White Chocolate weighs more than either of these guys!
Seamus quickly joins his brother and the duo hit a double snap suplex onto Ravager! On the outside, KRENSHOV is getting back to his feet and Seamus uses the top rope to go for a springboard plancha! KRENSHOV catches the smaller man in mid air and hurls him into the front row of fans! The referee rolls to the outside to break up the melee as inside the ring Sean shoots Ravager into the ropes and connects with a spinning back kick! With Ravager down on the mat, Sean goes to the nearest corner, climbs to the top and goes for his Irish Insignia! At the last second Ravager rolls out of the way and Sean hits hard! Ravager has a look of pure fury on his face as he drags Sean to his feet and folds up the O'Connor boy with a half-nelson suplex! The referee is now back in the ring and is trying to get control of the match. Ravager has mounted Sean and is pounding him with stiff forearms to the face bringing blood from the nose.
BILL HEWSON: The O'Connor Boys cannot let the Faces slow down the match like this!
JACK JONES: It is kinda fun to watch though.
The referee has pulled Ravager off of Sean and the smaller man looks like he was hit in the face with a shovel. Sean is yanked roughly to his feet only to have Ravager shoot him into the opposite corner. Ravager charges in and takes a desperation boot to the face! The former World Champ stumbles back and Sean pulls himself up to the second turnbuckle. Ravager charges back into the corner but Sean leapfrogs him! Ravager spins around and is snapped to the mat with a lightning quick hurricanrana! Sean rolls towards his corner and tags in brother Seamus! Ravager is already back to his feet and takes a double dropkick from the brothers! Seamus goes for a cover but Ravager kicks out at two. Seamus pulls Ravager up and takes a knee into the ribs. Headbutt from Ravager drops Seamus down to his knees. Ravager grabs a handful of hair and leads him towards his corner. As they near the Faces corner, Sean quickly hooks Ravager and shocks him with a side suplex!
JACK JONES: These kids must have a death wish!
BILL HEWSON: The O'Connor Boys aren't going down without a fight! They might just pull this thing off!
Sean is trying to crawl away back to his corner but Ravager has him by the foot. Both men are up but Ravager still has a tight grip on the foot of Sean. Enziguri by Sean sends Ravager draped across the second ring rope! Sean signals for his finisher and goes for the Bushmills Drill (619)! Ravager drops out of the way at the last second and Sean takes a big boot to the face from KRENSHOV! Ravager pulls Sean to his feet and drops him with a DDT! A tag brings in KRENSHOV and the big man drops an elbow across the back of the smaller man! Another elbow drop! A third has Sean holding his ribs in agony. KRENSHOV pulls Sean to his feet and shoots him into the ropes catching him with a bearhug! Seamus rushes into the ring and KRENSHOV releases his grip just long enough to grab Seamus as well! A double bearhug! The fans watch in disbelief as the big man tries to crush both of his opponents. The referee gets up to a count of four before KRENSHOV releases his grip.
BILL HEWSON: I've never seen anything like that before! KRENSHOV is unstoppable!
Seamus rolls out of the ring as KRENSHOV delivers a crushing powerbomb onto Sean! A tag brings in Ravager and a near lifeless Sean is whipped into the ropes. Big boot to the face from KRENSHOV send Sean stumbling into a Dragon Suplex from Ravager! A cover! One! Two! Three! It's over!
FRANK WARBURTON: The winners of this match, Ravager & KRENSHOV, The Faces Of Death!
BILL HEWSON: The kids did their best but The Faces Of Death were simply to much!
JACK JONES: I never doubted it.
BILL HEWSON: Yeah right.
KRENSHOV and Ravager begin to kick away at the body of Sean O'Connor as the fans boo like mad. Seamus rolls into the ring with a chair but The Faces are on him in a heartbeat. The ring quickly fills up with referees and security to keep Ravager & KRENSHOV from doing any further damage.
BILL HEWSON: The Faces are on a roll and up next for them are none other than Evan Cartwright and Chris Casino!
JACK JONES: We'll need more security for that match!
JACK JONES: So I was coming out of the grocery store yesterday, and there were small things with pigtails offering me "Girl Guide cookies."
BILL HEWSON: They're called "little girls," Jack.
JACK JONES: Little or big, they're sick freaks! Making cookies out of girl guides. I almost didn't buy five boxes!
BILL HEWSON: ... let's go to the ring!
Children Of Bodom play "In Your Face" and out comes the powerhouse...
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first weighing in at two-hundred and seventy-five pounds, he hails from Coldwater Michigan... "THE PROTOTYPE" JOSH MARKHAM!
BILL HEWSON: The Prototype is an impressive physical specimen, he'll be looking for a win here after Jer$ey defeated him last show in Saskatoon!
JACK JONES: Well, I think the NAPW locker room is scared of The Prototype. You notice that Noir quit NAPW when he found out he was wrestling Josh Markham? Blam!
BILL HEWSON: That's not entirely what happened...
"BAD BOYS, BAD BOYS!
WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THEY COME FOR YOU!"
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent! From Lloydminster, Alberta, he weighs in at two-hundred and thirty-two pounds... the leader of the WGA, "BAD BOY" JOEY MALONE!
JACK JONES: I'm surprised he's showing his face again after Jake Phoenix, you know, obliterated him in Saskatoon. You don't see Modo WHOA! showing his... mask around here.
BILL HEWSON: Nobody can deny the heart of "Bad Boy" Joey Malone, but despite some success earlier this year, including a run as one-half of the REBEL Pro tag team champions with Warren, he hasn't had much luck lately. Most of his WGA friends are on the injured list as of late!
The Bad Boy hits the ring... the bell rings and Josh Markham comes in for a grapple, only to get gouged in the eye by the master of the eye gouge. Joey throws some fists of fury, but they don't seem to have much effect on the ripped Markham. He grabs Joey and goes for a German Suplex --- low blow! Joey using every desperate counter he knows to try to get some momentum. Referee Anthony Uruburu looks quizzically at Joey, who shrugs and winks to the fans. Malone grabs a doubled over Markham and delivers a DDT! He goes to the second rope and connects with a patented flying fist drop! Hook of the leg, one, two ---
TWO! Markham kicks out with AUTHORITAH, sending Joey half-way across the ring. Joey gets up, runs in, looking for a flying crucifix... Markham plants himself. Samoan Drop! Joey is squashed, only to get roughly hauled up by Markham. Australian Suplex! Markham holds on and brings Joey up, delivering Dead End, a release German. Joey is folded up like an accordion! Markham covers one, two, th--- Joey somehow gets the shoulder up! Markham sends Joey into the corner and charges, nobody home. Joey hooks the arm for the Rocker Dropper... only to get lifted up by the powerful Markham and dumped. Joey gets back to his feet, wobbly, and finds himself caught by the Tequila Sunrise suplex! That's gotta be all, but Markham doesn't want the pinfall just yet. He picks up Joey with ease... and connects with his version of the F5, called INYAFACE! The cover gets one, two, three!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner, "The Prototype" Josh Markham!
BILL HEWSON: Joey put up a fight, but the power and arsenal of suplexes from "The Prototype" were just too much for him. Markham picks up the W here in Calgary at BOILING POINT!
"Note To Self: Don't Die" by Ryan Adams rips through the speakers as D! comes through the back pulling a weary and already bloody Dez Carter along with him. The crowd, who had been booing moderately loud begins to boo at a much louder volume in protest to what D! is doing to their favorite.
FRANK WARBURTON: From Edmonton, Alberta--- eh? What's going on here?
Frank wastes no time as he gets out of the ring, but the bell has yet to ring signaling the beginning of the match.
BILL HEWSON: What is going on, this is uncalled for! This is just what D! did to Trent Daniels back at Unsanctioned, jumped the man in the back and...
JACK JONES: What are you talking about? It's wrestling! People tend to get hurt during wrestling.
BILL HEWSON: But this isn't wrestling, it's utter brutality... he has torn him in half!
JACK JONES: Looks to me like Dez wrote a check that just wasn't good and the bill collector is coming to take payment out on his ass, but I could be wrong, hardly ever am, but could be.
D! pulls Dez down the entrance way, throwing repeated fists into his temple just to pull back on his hair and deliver another shot to the worn out Dez. Tucking his head under his left arm pit, D! lifts Dez up into the air with a vicious over the head suplex onto the hard and unforgiving floor, causing some pain to Dez' ribcage. Standing back up, D! looks down at his handy work and is not satisfied so he walks over to a fan and upon pushing them out of their seat, grabs the steel chair they were sitting in for the show. D! does not hit Dez with the chair, however, he sits the metal folding chair up as if he were going to sit in it.. then he pulls Dez back to his feet. The man is nothing but dead weight in his arms. D! lifts Dez into a gorilla press slam and at the last instant, as Dez is up above D!'s head, D! flips Dez causing him to fall onto the folded chair injured ribs first.
BILL HEWSON: I heard ribs break, I swear he broke some ribs.
JACK JONES: Nah, just that fan there eating porkskins in your ear.
Lying on the floor, Dez is trying to breath without causing even more pain to his body, he isn't finding this an easy task as he is gasping loudly for each intake of oxygen. D! takes the chair and holding it high up over head, brings it crashing down on the ribs once, twice, and a third final time; D! throws the chair to the side to get another weapon. Before walking to find yet another weapon, he pauses for a few moments to place a few stomps to the taped ribs of Dez Carter.
BILL HEWSON: This is just sadistic, Dez is hurt enough!
JACK JONES: Huh? I was watching that lady over there eat a hot dog, didn't see a thing.
Not finding a suitable weapon nearby, D! places Dez into an abdominal stretch, making sure to synch in the hold enough that the ribs are exposed. He looks out at one of the crowd's favorite wrestlers as he drops a repeated elbow to the exposed ribs, the tape is slowly becoming unraveled showing the bruised skin of Dez. Having held the stretch for as long as he wanted to, D! stands up nailing a few right hands for good measure before removing the tape from around the ribs of Dez. Now the bruises are even more evident so D! nails first a roundhouse punch folloing up with a stiff knee to the black and blue ribcage. D! whips Dez towards the ring, but Dez reverses the whip and now D! is heading for the guardrailing and crashes into the metal with a loud bang!
BILL HEWSON: Way to go Dez!
JACK JONES: Ah come on, he's obviously cheating!
Dez is in the zone and on the attack, he places elbows to the face of D! and the two are heading for the ring. D! tries to fight back slightly, but Dez is there with stiff forearm shots pushing D! up against the apron of the ring. Right hand from Dez follwing up with a stiff elbow shot to the face of D! who is bloody from the blood that Dez has poured onto the floor. Dez rolls D! into the ring and the bell finally sounds starting the match.
DING! DING!
BILL HEWSON: Finally this match is official!
JACK JONES: Officiall or not, D! is going to walk away with this one like I walked away with free gas using your credit card that one time.
Dez lifts D! up into the Fireman's carry position aiming for the Go To Sleep; but D! places a thumb into the eye socket of Dez somehow and counters the hold with his Nyquil Spike. As both men fall to the mat, D! is up quickly and places Dez into the submission hold he has dubbed the Pleasant Cycling submission. The pain in his ribs screaming in his ears, Dez wastes no time in tapping his hand on the mat and as soon as it began officially, the match is ended.
DING! DING! DING!
FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of the... well, the winner of the match by submission, D!
BILL HEWSON: D! has done it, cheating and all but by God, he's done it. Again.
JACK JONES: Cheating? The only one who cheated was Dez and he definitely got what he deserved. Now, kindly give my money I won with me betting on D!.
D! stands up as his music begins to play and walks back up the entrance way as Dez lays in the ring in agony holding his severely injured ribs. Referee John Sharplin attemps to help him up, calling for help...
BILL HEWSON: Carter trying to stand on his own, but months of damage, I believe, have come to a head here... here comes some help from... the...
JACK JONES: Well, they're a *kind* of help. If by "help" you mean "into an early grave."
The fans begin to boo heartily as it's not a trainer or an EMT who comes out...
Ravager.
KRENSHOV.
FACES OF DEATH.
And they are carrying two things. One, a burlap sack. Two, a black ring bell painted with skulls and "FOD."
BILL HEWSON: Haven't they done enough to Dez Carter? Haven't they done ENOUGH? Come on! What more do they want? They've broken him!
JACK JONES: Just to give him his last rites, Hewson.
Ravager and KRENSHOV get into the ring, Carter is helpless. Sharplin tells them to get away, get out of the ring, but Kenny threatens Sharplin and the referee ducks the phantom blow, ske-daddling out of the ring. Sharplin's a decent man but he's been assaulted by the FoD himself, and that was more than enough. He runs to the back, no doubt to get actual help, but Dez Carter is all ...
alone.
KRENSHOV picks up the coughing, pain-wracked Carter. Dez is coughing up blood. Ravager tilts his chin up, Dez' arms pinned by the mighty KRENSHOV. He almost shows sympathy... before placing the burlap bag over Dez' head. Dez starts kicking and fighting as the blackness swallows him up, but KRENSHOV smashes him to the canvas. Then, he grabs Dez's arms, a cruel smirk on his Russian features. Kenny puts a foot in between Dez's shoulderblades and pulls back on the arms, putting him in position. Dez Carter squirms, panic and fear setting in, but he can't get free. The crowd is silent, almost sickened by this display.
Ravager holds the ring bell up high for all to see. He doesn't get the microphone. He doesn't need to tonight. They are finishing what they started months ago.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
...
Ding.
Ravager leaps from the 2nd turnbuckle to curbstomp Dez' masked face into the canvas. Dez quivers, then goes still. Too late, Sharplin returns leading a horde of security to the ring to help Dez. Satisfied, The Faces of Death leave without much trouble.
The crowd doesn't boo them.
They don't make any sound at all.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, it is a woman's tag team match! Introducing first, hailing from Edmonton, Alberta, she is SUZY SCUM!
"You Can't Kill Terror" hits the PA system, and the fans boo as the NAPW World Champion's "associate" makes her way from the back and down to the ring.
FRANK WARBURTON: And her partner, hailing from Staten Island, New York, being accompanied to the ring by Rosie Cheeks, she is LADY SPARKS!
"No Sleep Tonight" and the wave of unflattering chants continues for Lady Sparks. She sneers at the crowd upon entering from the back, but quickly ignores them and marches down to the ring with Rosie following behind. Sparks and Suzy gives each other a suggestive nod.
JACK JONES: You see that look Bill? I think there's a little more going on than just an in-ring partnership!
BILL HEWSON: Please Jack, both these women know that getting a pinfall victory over the NAPW Woman's Champion is a lock for a title match at Anniversary Assault!
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing their opponents... first, hailing from Edmonton, Alberta, she is the NAPW Womens Champion, "WHITE CHOCOLATE~" TIFANNY MACINTYRE!
The buxom blond runs out, title raised in the air, much to the fans delight as "Good to Your Earhole" blasts on the PA. She smiles at the site of her opponent, and walks to the ring confidently. As Tiffany enters, she shows both Suzy and Lady Sparks the gold they don't have, and hands it to the referee, Morgan Smythe.
FRANK WARBURTON: And her partner, hailing from Water Valley, Kentucky, she is the lovely LYNDSEY VALEEENTINE!
"Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett rocks the speakers, and Tiffany grins at her partners like they're in for it... but after several seconds of the song, there's no Lyndsey. Tiffany's face turns from smile to aggravation, and she gains Smythe's attention attempting to figure out the whereabouts of Lyndsey.
...a minute later, and still no Lyndsey. The song begins to loop again, but with Tiffany's body turned towards the entrance, the duo of Suzy and Sparks take the opportunistic approach and jump her.
BILL HEWSON: Smythe is obviously a bit flustered, but she's intervened and has got Sparks onto the apron, and Suzy well away from the downed Tiffany. There's the bell? It looks like Smythe has continued to go on with the match, effectively making it a handicapped match!
JACK JONES: There's going to be more women forcing themselves on each other than that time I interned as the women's correctional facility!
BILL HEWSON: Why aren't you hooked up to shocks like last time?
Tiffany clutches the back of her head, as Suzy grins in the direction of the champion. Both come to the middle and lock up, Tiffany wrenches Suzy into a headlock, but can't keep it clutched as Scum pushes her into the ropes, Tiffany comes back and eats a face full of elbow! Suzy attempts to grab at her opponents hair, but Tiffany trips her up with a modified drop toehold. Tiffany and Suzy both pop tall, both holding their jaws. Suzy charges at Tiffany with a lariat, but Tiffany ducks, both women rebound off the ropes and Tiffany hits Suzy with a running dropkick!
JACK JONES: Right in the implant!
BILL HEWSON: Ugh... Jack.
Suzy rolls out of the ring, nursing the point of contact. Tiffany smiles, and signals for Suzy to come get some. Scum slides in the ring and meets Tiffany for another lockup, Tiffany snags Scum's wrist and works her into a chicken wing. Suzy throws an elbow back, jarring Tiffany in the neck, followed by another, breaking the hold. Suzy turns and cracks Tiffany in the face with a knuckle sammich! Smythe scolds Suzy for using a closed fist, but Suzy ignores her and tags in Lady Sparks. As Tiffany gets back up to her feet, Suzy locks her in a headlock while Lady Sparks kicks the title holder square in the ribs.
BILL HEWSON: Lady Sparks now the legal woman in the match, and she comes right in and a snap suplex on the champion with authority!
The Lady rolls Tiffany over and locks in a crossface, pulling Tiffany's nose in a direction it wasn't meant to go. Keeping the crossface locked with one hand, she pulls back her other and WHAP! Cracks the champion right on the bridge of her nose. She releases the hold as Macintyre rolls away on the mat, holding her face in excruciating pain. Rosie Cheeks applauds Lady on the outside, and Sparks dumps herself on top of the squirming Tiffany for a lateral press. Barely a one count before Tiffany kicks out.
BILL HEWSON: As effective as that move was, it wasn't enough to put the champion away. Not to mention she didn't hook the leg.
Tiffany gets back to her feet, Lady Sparks runs in for a clothesline, but Tiffany ducks and spins her around, DDT! The fans applaud, but Suzy is in and nails a forearm to the back of the neck of Tiffany. Smythe reprimands Suzy yet again, but Scum just waves her off and leaves the ring before she can start her count. Both women get back up to their feet, but it's Sparks who grabs Tiffany and whips her into the ropes. Tiffany comes back, ducks a swinging double axe handle by Lady Sparks, comes off the ropes, back springboard elbow!
BILL HEWSON: What a move! And Tiffany charges the apron and cracks Suzy right off her perch!
Tiffany kicks the downed Lady Sparks, and then goes off the ropes, but Rosie Cheeks snags her foot! Smythe distracted by the knocked down Suzy Scum didn't see the infraction, Tiffany turns to give Rosie a piece of her mind, but Lady Sparks is back up and grabs a face full of hair and whips Tiffany down to the mat, the back of her head slamming hard!
BILL HEWSON: As hard as Tiffany is trying, the team of Suzy and Sparks are using their numbers to keep her fast paced offense as slow as they can, even utilizing Rosie Cheeks.
JACK JONES: Heh heh...
BILL HEWSON: What's funny, Jack?
JACK JONES: You said, "Utilizing Rosie Cheeks."
Lady Sparks yanks Tiffany to her feet, and back down with a double underhook suplex! Lady Sparks goes for the quick cover...
ONE...
TW--Kickout!
Suzy had one leg in while the count was going down, making sure she isn't out of the title picture. Lady Sparks pulls Tiffany back to her feet, and into the corner, and tags out to Suzy. Lady holds Tiffany up into a full nelson, and breaks just as Suzy's backhand whips across Tiffany's face. Suzy plants her boot into the midsection of Tiffany, doubling her over, and VICIOUS POWERBOMB! And Suzy stomps Tiffany's face right after! Morgan Smythe looks frustrated at Suzy's tactics, but nothing illegal transpired after that altercation. Suzy now covers...
ONE...
TWO...
Kickout! Suzy looks frustrated, but then she looks confused as she sees Lady Sparks hovering over her.
BILL HEWSON: Lady Sparks was obviously worried that could have been it! I think she was going to pull her partner off so that Suzy couldn't get the title shot!
Suzy points at Lady Sparks, yelling various inaudibles at her partner. Morgan reminds Lady Sparks that she has five seconds to get out of the ring, and Sparks obliges. Suzy pulls the weary Tiffany up to her feet, NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! Tiffany pulls the move from the depths of who knows where, and bridges into a pin!
ONE...
TWO...
KICKOUT!
BILL HEWSON: Lady Sparks again in the ring, making sure a pinfall doesn't go down without her being a legal participant! Suzy kicked out though, probably more surprised than hurt from that sudden northern lights!
Lady Sparks exits the ring before Smythe has to remind her again, and Tiffany rolls to a corner to pick herself up. That powerbomb and exertion of strength to pull off a sudden suplex took a lot out of the champion. Suzy gathers herself up, and gets to her feet, not looking at Tiffany, however. Her untrusting eyes lock with Lady Sparks. Suzy shakes her head at Lady Sparks, before turning--BIG BOOT! Suzy is out! Tiffany pins and locks both legs!
ONE...
TWO...
TH--LADY SPARKS WITH A SAVE!
BILL HEWSON: Tiffany almost walked out of this handicapped match as the victor! Oh, c'mon! Lady Sparks just pulled Tiffany up and ran her shoulder first into the ring post! And now she's dragging her partner back to their corner.
Smythe hates it, but Sparks completely ignores her. Sparks steps out on the apron just to tag herself into the match and become the legal participant. Lady Sparks stomps in the ring, and rolls Tiffany up--
ONE...
TWO--Kickout on two. Lady Sparks, a bit angry, rips Tiffany to her feet, and hits the CUTTER!
BILL HEWSON: Lady Sparks just hit her finisher! The champion is down! Lady Sparks for the pin...
ONE...
TWO...
TH--SUZY SCUM BREAKS THE PIN! Morgan Smythe can't disqualify partner on partner violence, all she can do is demand Suzy to get back into her corner. Lady Sparks rolls on the mat, holding where Suzy's boot met her back. She looks at Suzy, pissed and angry. As Lady Sparks crawls to her feet she begins wagging a wild finger in Suzy's face.
Wait a second! Tiffany is on the ground, but she's slid behind Lady Sparks! Suzy Scum just cracked Lady Sparks in the face with a wild right hook from the apron! The Women's Champion rolls Lady Sparks up and leg sweeps Suzy Scum off the apron in one fluid motion! School-girl!
ONE...
TWO...
THREE!
FRANK WARBUTON: The winner of this match by pinfall, the NAPW Womens Champion, TIFFANY "WHITE CHOCOLATE" MACINTYRE!
BILL HEWSON: Somehow "WHITE CHOCOLATE~" pulled off the win --- Wait a minute! Suzy Scum is back in the ring and she is straddling Tiffany, and cracking her in the face with wild rights and lefts! And what's this? Asuka Katsuragi!
Asuka charges the ring, drop kicking Suzy off of Tiffany. Lady Sparks gets to her feet, YAKUZA KICK right out of the ring by Asuka! Tiffany grabs the hand of Asuka and is pulled up, and has her hand raised in the air by Ms. Katsuragi. Tiffany thanks her, takes her title from the ref, and the microphone from Frank Warburton.
TIFFANY MACINTYRE: You know...(huff) neither of these two bimbos deserve a shot at me at...(huff) Anniversary Assault III. No, the woman I'm facing...(huff)... is someone that deserves it... Asuka Katuragi!
Asuka's face lights up with happiness and glee. She bows to Tiffany before raising her hand in victory, bowing again, and the two exit together to Tiffany's music.
-INTERMISSION-
JACK JONES: And that's when the horrible transformation started to take place.
BILL HEWSON: Well, puberty hits every teenager differently.
JACK JONES: This was last week.
BILL HEWSON: Ugh...
"THE CONNECTION IS MADE!"
The fans don't have a lot of love for this man, who makes his way to the ring unaccompanied tonight.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Staten Island, New York, weighing one hundred and seventy eight pounds... he is STONE ZELLOR!!
Stone has little time for the boos of the fans. He's got bigger issues at hand.
"WANNA GO FOR A RIDE?"
"Zero" hits and the fans are on their feet for The Ego Buster...
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent! From Houston, Texas, weighing three hundred and thirty five pounds... he is "THE EGO BUSTER" DAN RYAN!
Ryan steps over the top rope and glares at Zellor. Referee John Sharplin calls for the bell, and the two men lock up! Ryan easily shoves Zellor back, knocking the former Heritage champion on his butt. Zellor is back up in a flash, and he goes for a basement dropkick. Ryan stumbles, and Zellor tries to capitalize, going for the Stone's Throw! ... Zellor can't quite lift Ryan. He lets go of the hold, pounds on Ryan's back with some forearms, then goes back to try for the suplex. Ryan fires a punch into Zellor's midsection, then hefts him up and tosses him across the ring! Zellor crashes flat on the mat, then rolls out of the ring, trying to collect himself.
BILL HEWSON: Zellor can't play a power game with Dan Ryan. He's going to have to think up a different strategy!
Zellor slides back into the ring, but doesn't even bother trying for a lockup. He jabs a thumb into the eye of Ryan, then goes for a chop block on the big man! Huge boos from the crowd as Zellor drives Ryan down to one knee, and then peppers him with rights and lefts! Ryan blocks the last fist from Zellor, and now he's got him by the throat! Sharplin orders him to let go, but Ryan is back to his feet, and he goes for a choke slam! Zellor reverses into an arm bar... Well, not quite, he can't drag Ryan to the mat. Ryan powers out of the hold, then clotheslines Zellor out of his boots! Zellor is down, and Ryan goes for a cover! One, two, Zellor gets a shoulder up at the last second!
Ryan drags Zellor into a sitting position, and then drives his forearms into the side of Zellor's head! He alternates arms as he repeatedly clubs Stone across the temples, until finally he stops. Stone stays upright for a moment, then slowly collapses onto his side. Ryan hauls Zellor up and goes for a German Suplex! He nails it, then bridges for a pin! One... two... Zellor somehow gets a shoulder up, but just barely. Ryan looks somewhat amused by this, and goes to haul Zellor up again. Stone has crawled under the bottom rope, and is trying to catch a breather again, but Ryan is on him this time. He has him by the hair, and is dragging him up. Stone is trying to keep a grasp of the ropes, and Sharplin is ordering Ryan to let go. Ryan turns his attention to Sharplin for the briefest of moments, and that is all Zellor needs, as he grabs Ryan by the head and drops his throat across the top rope! Ryan tries to get his breath back, and Zellor chopblocks the leg he worked on earlier! The Ego Buster to one knee, and Zellor nails him with a dropkick to the face! Ryan still not down yet, so Zellor hits the ropes, and comes back with a discus clothesline! That finally gets Ryan down on the mat, and Zellor goes to the top rope!
JACK JONES: Zellor can't afford to waste any time with a monster like Dan Ryan!
Zellor doesn't showboat, he sails off the top rope with a diving headbutt, right to the sternum of Dan Ryan! He goes for a cover! One! .. Two! .. Ryan kicks out! Zellor goes back to the top rope, this time waiting for Ryan to get to his feet... He sails off the rope with a missile dropkick! Ryan moves to the side, and Stone crashes to the mat! Ryan regains his senses, and then he scoops Stone off the mat, and hits him with a release German Suplex! Zellor lands in a heap, and winds up rolling to the outside. Ryan follows him out there. Stone boots Ryan's knee, and tries to whip him into the guard rail! Ryan plants his feet and doesn't budge. Stone lays in with a chop, and tries to whip him again. Again Ryan plants himself. Stone goes for another chop. And now Ryan responds with chops of his own! Zellor's chest is turning red from the shots, and Ryan does not let up. Stone tries to throw some punches, and Ryan counter punches, then finally lands a boot to the gut, and whips Zellor into the guard rail! Zellor crashes into it, and the momentum takes him over the rail and into the front row!
BILL HEWSON: Stone Zellor is one of the best wrestlers on the planet, but tonight he faces an angry Dan Ryan, and I don't think anybody is up to that challenge.
JACK JONES: We'll see next week...
Ryan takes a second to soak in the roar of the fans, while Zellor tries to drag himself to his feet. He crawls over the guard rail, and lands in a heap on the ground. He pulls himself back up again, turns around... And Dan Ryan is there with a superkick, that sends Zellor back into the front row! The fans are on their feet now, enjoying this immensely. Ryan reaches over the guard rail and grabs Zellor by the hair, and drags him back to ringside. Zellor throws some weak punches to the midsection, but Ryan just responds by picking him up and ramming him spine first into the ring post! Zellor crumples to the ground, but Ryan doesn't give him time to rest, as he picks him up and tosses him back in the ring! Zellor tries to crawl to the opposite ropes, but Ryan catches him by the foot, and drags him to center ring. He pulls him to his feet... Zellor with a Pimp Slap! From out of nowhere Zellor stuns Dan Ryan with the Pimp Slap! And now Zellor needs to take control! He hits the ropes and comes back with... Ryan wasn't as stunned as thought. He catches Stone and lays him out with a massive Spinebuster!
BILL HEWSON: Check the mat, I think Zellor nearly went through it!
Indeed, Zellor has been planted, but Ryan is not done yet. He does have a message that needs to be sent. He hauls Zellor back to his feet, and sets him up for the Humility Bomb! Sharplin trying to tell Ryan that enough is enough, but the fans are drowning everything out! Ryan hauls Zellor up! Zellor's foot catches Sharplin under the jaw, the ref is down! Ryan crushes Zellor to the mat with the Humility Bomb! He covers as the fans count three, but the ref is not there. Ryan goes to check on the ref, not noticing the fans yelling about something...
BILL HEWSON: Wait a second...
D! slides into the ring, chair in hand! Ryan catches him in the corner of his eye, and turns around just in time to ---
CLANG!
D! wraps the chair around Ryan's head! Ryan is busted open, and D! hauls off and smacks him a few more times, turning a dented chair into a destroyed chair. Ryan face is a crimson mask as he slumps to the mat. D! drags a limp Zellor over and drapes him across Ryan's unconscious body. The fans are irate as Sharplin regains his senses, and crawls over to make the count! ONE!! TWO!! THREE!!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner, STONE ZELLOR!
BILL HEWSON: This is disgusting! D! doesn't even care about the win he gave Stone Zellor, all he wants is Dan Ryan to be weakened for Anniversary Assault!
JACK JONES: And it worked! Haha it worked!
Stone is barely awake enough to acknowledge his win. Ryan is slowly stirring, but he's in no condition to do anything. D! stands at the entrance way with a HUGE smirk on his face. He's just given himself a huge advantage heading into next week...
"The Ego Buster" Dan Ryan stars down D! through a mask of blood. It's not the first blood Dan Ryan has shed in the wrestling ring.
It likely will not be the last.
But perhaps in his attempt to gain an advantage, D! just made Dan Ryan angier than we have ever seen him in NAPW.
One week before they meet inside a 15-foot high steel cage. Where there will be nowhere to run...
FRANK WARBURTON: It is now time for the MAIN EVENT! The following contest is set for one-fall at a sixty minute time limit, and is an EIGHT-MAN TAG TEAM MATCH! Introducing first...
"SURPRISE! YOU'RE DEAD!"
FRANK WARBURTON: Weighing in at two-hundred and eighty-nine pounds, he hails from Fort Lauderdale Florida and is a former NAPW Tag Team Champion and the reigning NAPW Canadian Heritage Champion... "The Murder City Devil" JAKE PHOENIX!
Faith No More brings the hulking Phoenix steps out from the curtain, ready to go. His trademark Oakleys hide his eyes, the Heritage title belt slung over one shoulder. He's in no hurry to get to the ring, but when he does he makes a point of stepping OVER the top rope.
BILL HEWSON: The biggest man in the match, who just a couple weeks ago at Barnhouse Brawl in Saskatoon made a statement by attacking the enemies of Dirty Money. But I note that Jake Phoenix is coming out on his own, not with the rest of Dirty Money.
JACK JONES: What's your point, Hewson? Jake Phoenix does his own thing. He also hurts people, and that's why Dirty Money recruited him.
Phoenix hands the Heritage title to Referee Dick Kiebiech and awaits his partners... and opponents.
"You see us coming and we'll make you scream
We are the stars of the real teen dream
We'll give you shakes and we'll make you sweat
We're really rolling
We're solid gold"
The Eagles of Death Metal's "Solid Gold" begins playing, momentarily confusing the fans... until they see Chris Casino, Evan Cartwright and Krusty Kid Paul saunter through the curtains. Casino and Evan wear their Tag Team championship belts around their waists, while Krusty Kid Paul is dangling the NAPW World title from his hand. He looks around the crowd with a hateful expression as Casino and Cartwright make their way to the ring. KKP snarls at fans yelling insults at him, holding up the belt for them to see. He's the champion, fools. Casino wears a cocky smirk. Evan looks unusually intense and focused.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his partners! Introducing first, they are the reigning NAPW Tag Team Champions... at a total combined weight of four-hundred and forty-two and one-quarter pounds, they are the NAPW Grand Slam Winner CHRIS CASINO and Triple-Crown winner "PERFECTION" EVAN CARTWRIGHT! And from Kitchener Ontario, weighing two-hundred and forty pounds he is a former Tag Team Champion and the current - and reigning - NAPW World Champion... KRUSTY KID PAUL! They are DIRTY MONEY!
JACK JONES: Like the song says, Hewson... they are SOLID GOLD! Look at all the championships!
BILL HEWSON: The Heritage Champion, Tag Team Champions, and World Champion all on the same side here tonight! You are talking about four of the best in NAPW history, all on one team... and that doesn't include their four OPPONENTS.
JACK JONES: The talent is already out here, now it's just "the rest."
BILL HEWSON: We'll see.
Casino smiles at Phoenix, who grunts. Cartwright rocks on the balls of his feet, it looks like he REALLY wants to get into it, as KKP hocks a loogie to the floor. The crowd is anxious...
"Ain't I smokin strong, Ain't I puttin on, ain't I rockin yays, ain't my money long
Ain't I in the vip, ain't I on the hill, ain't I on a mil, ain't I ain't I real"
FRANK WARBURTON: And now, their opponents! Introducing first from Paterson New Jersey, he weighs in at two-hundred and twenty-pounds... the 'Million Dollar Playa' JER$EY!
Jer$ey bounds through the entrance way to "Ain't I" by Yung LA, in his dickies and bling. The crowd gives a warm ovation for him. Jer$ey heads towards the ring, but stops outside, waiting. Rob Zombie kicks up!
"Together we fly,
Together we fall,
Together we all see,
The Death Of It All!"
FRANK WARBURTON: From Windsor Ontario, weighing in at two-hundred and thirty-eight pounds... a former NAPW Tag Team Champion and 2007 Canada Cup Winner, he is "SICK" BILLY KRYENIK!
The crowd gets even louder as Billy comes out, pumped UP and yelling to the fans, he's READY for this. His face is notably covered by a leather mask, a result of suffering a fireball to the face at REBEL Pro last Tuesday. Kryenik heads out to stand next to Jer$ey, who slaps him five. But they're waiting. Billy gets a grin on his face, then points back to the curtain and makes the "make some noise" motion with his other hand. Zombie fades out...
"Guess who's back?"
Guitar... then HIT IT. The crowd POPS as CHAD KURTIS blasts through the curtain!
"They say I'm COCKY!
And I say WHAT?
It ain't braggin' mother(BLEEP) if ya back it up!"
FRANK WARBURTON: From Paducah Kentucky, he weighs in at two-hundred and thirty pounds... a former NAPW Television and Tag Team Champion, he is the 'Innovator of Offense,' the 'Last Action Hero,' the 'True PTPer' ... "THE SHOW" CHAD KURTIS!
HUGE OVATION! "The Show" comes out and throws the hoodie of his jacket back, telling the fans to "COME ON!" He slaps hands on his way to the ring, where he meets Kryenik and Jer$ey. In the ring Chris Casino is telling the "cowards" to get in the ring, no doubt so Dirty Money can jump the good guys yet again. Cartwright locks his eyes on Billy Kryenik, his former partner. "The Show," Kryenik and Jer$ey want to mix it up, but wait, there's one more.
The lights go out.
Cue the Black Keys.
And here...
he...
comes.
FRANK WARBURTON: And finally! From Wabana, Bell Island, Newfoundland, he weighs in at two-hundred and forty-seven pounds! He is a GRAND SLAM WINNER here in NAPW and the winner of the 2008 Sole Survivor match... ladies and gentlemen, 'The Technical Terror,' "LDK" LLOYD REES!
The noise makes it hard to hear. Lloyd Rees steps through the curtain, wearing a towel over his head. He steps to the ring in the dim light, flashbulbs providing illumination. Rees takes the towel off his head, looks at his partners, and then as ONE they slide into the ring! Dirty Money immediately go on the attack as Dick Kiebiech calls for the bell to officially begin this match, and we've got a wild one right off the bat!
It's hard to keep track of who's doing what, but --- Dirty Money each back a man into the corner. Stiff shots, a chop from Evan Cartwright onto Jer$ey, Casino slapping "The Show" in the face. Four irish whips sends the good guys into each other in the center of the ring, but four reversals make it Dirty Money who bang heads in the middle! They're dazed and "The Show" takes down Casino with a leg lariat! Jer$ey hits a big right hand that sends Cartwright down! The World Champion finds himself nailed by "LDK" Lloyd Rees with a big arm-drag that sends him skidding to the floor. That leaves only the big man Jake Phoenix, and Billy Kryenik is hitting him with hard right hands, Phoenix still standing, but backed into the ropes! Kryenik tries to lariat him over, no go, Jer$ey with a lariat, Phoenix gets up higher but not over, so Kryenik and Jer$ey bump knuckles and hit a double clothesline that succeeds in topping the near seven-footer to the floor below! Dirty Money regroup on the outside as all four men in the ring hit a corner to a tremendous fan ovation.
BILL HEWSON: The atmosphere is positively electric here in the Ogden Legion Hall! Dirty Money need to rethink their strategy in this one, Jack Attack, because the emotion is giving Rees and his allies so much energy.
JACK JONES: That's why they're outside, taking the ten count, slowing it down, draining some of that energy off. Don't you worry, Hewson, the World Champion and the rest of Dirty Money have a gameplan.
BILL HEWSON: I'm not worried about Dirty Money.
JACK JONES: You should be!
Finally the bad guys get back on the ring apron. It appears that Chris Casino is going to start the match proper for his squad. That suits Jer$ey just fine, he's been wanting some of Casino since Lethal Lottery. They meet at the center of the ring for a lock-up, Casino side-steps and slicks back his hair. Another attempt, Casino again with a cocky dodge, he turns around with a shit-eating grin on his face and
POW! Jer$ey lays him out with a right hand! Casino pinwheels, Jer$ey throws some more fists with his street brawling style! He has Casino in the ropes, Kiebiech tells Jer$ey to let him out, Jer$ey decides to whip Casino to the ropes, nailing him with a huge right hand that knocks Casino to the floor. Casino quickly rolls to his corner, holding his jaw in pain, and asks for a tag from Evan Cartwright. Cartwright gets in but suddenly the crowd rises in volume yet again as Billy Kryenik is reaching over the top rope, body shaking --- he wants in. Jer$ey looks at the fans, then nods his head and slaps the hand.
BILL HEWSON: Evan Cartwright and Billy Kryenik at one time were best of friends and NAPW Tag Team Champions! Now... now Evan Cartwright wants to destroy Kryenik, leave him in a puddle of blood. And Billy wants to give it right back to him.
JACK JONES: There are no BFFs in wrestling, Bill Hewson.
Cartwright and Kryenik stand with just a few paces between them, Kryenik nodding his head saying "oh yeah," in Cartwright's direction. Evan smirks just slightly, and the two stare each other down... SLAP. Evan slaps Billy across the face. "Come on, Billy Bitchcakes. Or are you SOFT beneath that mask?" Billy rubs his jaw, then
SLAP.
Evan's turn to rub his jaw as the crowd is just going wild, it's an old-school never-quieting down rowdy crowd, amped from everything.
CHOP!
Kryenik returns fire!
CHOP!
SICK knife-edge chops as Evan throws another one into Billy's chest
CHOP
CHOP
CHOP
CHOP
EVAN!
CHOP!
KRYENIK!
CHOP!
The two men chop each other into a corner and Evan gets the upper hand, throwing Billy's arms over the rope. He lines up...
CHOP
THWACK
OOOOOOOOHHHH
Billy's eyes widen in pain, but he forces it down and grabs Evan, switching positions with him. He gives Evan one quick chop to stun him, then loads up the cannon...
CHOP
THWACK
OOOOOOOOOHHHHH
Evan gasps with pain at the insane volume from that chop, but Billy sees fit to send Evan into the opposite corner, charges in, RUNNING HIGH KNEE knocks Evan loopy. Kryenik snapmares Evan down and delivers a STIFF kick into the spine. Evan's face shows the pain and he rolls to his corner, slapping an inattentive Jake Phoenix on the shoulder to tag out. Phoenix's nostrils flare briefly, but he steps in. Kryenik makes a change as well, bringing in a man Jake Phoenix is very familiar with... "The Show" Chad Kurtis!
BILL HEWSON: Jake Phoenix has had issues with "The Show" for over a year, these two have feuded over the REBEL Pro World Title, the NAPW tag titles, and just strictly honor. Phoenix thinks very little of Chad Kurtis, and that's never sat right with "The Show."
JACK JONES: And how many times has "The Show" beaten Jake Phoenix?
BILL HEWSON: I think Jake is ahead in the standings, so to speak ---
JACK JONES: Exactly!
BILL HEWSON: --- but I remember that Chad along with his brother Matt were the team to dethrone the unlikely Tag Team Championship team of Tommy Deathrow and Jake Phoenix last fall!
JACK JONES: Well, of course THAT. But that was Deathrow's fault.
"The Show" of course gives up six inches and sixty pounds to Jake Phoenix, but only a few men in NAPW are the size of Jake. Phoenix mockingly asks Chad for a test of strength, raising his hand high up in the air. Chad doesn't rise to the bait. Jake then gets down on one knee and holds his hand up. Chad looks to the hand, now reachable... and decides to kick Jake in the damn face! Phoenix wobbles, but doesn't go down, as Chad hits the ropes and comes surging off for a shining wizard! The Heritage Champion sways, he's almost over, but not yet, so "The Show" goes to the corner, SCREAMS a scream of battle and rushes Jake with a seated senton taking him down! "The Show" putting it all on the line. Jake is down, The Show delivers a spinning leg drop. He covers, one --- ONE. Jake THROWS Chad off and gets back to his feet, but "The Show" is ready for him, throwing punches. Mistake. Jake gets ONE punch in and "The Show" is thrown backwards against the ropes. BIG BOOT --- The Show pulls down the top rope and Jake gets caught up! Chad leaps to the top rope, SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK NAILS JAKE PHOENIX! Phoenix tumbles back into the ring the hard way and ends up near his corner... where Krusty Kid Paul reaches to slap Jake on the back and tag himself in. Jake twitches his head in KKP's direction, not expecting or wanting a tag there, but Paul is in. "The Show" looks his direction, nods, then tags in "LDK" Lloyd Rees.
BILL HEWSON: In just one week Krusty Kid Paul defends the World Championship against the man he beat for it, "LDK" Lloyd Rees inside a HOUSE OF HORRORS Steel Cage! But they don't have to wait til next week to get some of one another!
JACK JONES: Come on, Paul, give Rees a taste of what he's going to get inside the Steel!
Krusty Kid Paul spews trashtalk in the general direction of "LDK" Lloyd Rees, but Rees isn't exactly "stoic" and gives it right back. Even if we really can't understand WHAT he's calling KKP in his torrent of Newfese.
Say it.
WITH FISTS!
KKP and LDK THROWING DOWN! KKP is the brawler but Rees wants to kick KKP's ass so damn bad and get the World Title back he's holding his own! But Paul also fights DIRTY (money) and jabs Rees in the eye, then punches Rees in the back of the head with a hard shot. Rees goes down and can't avoid one of KKP's heavy work boots to the head, Paul dropping down to throttle the life out of Rees' with all his strength, no doubt bruising some of the neck flesh. The referee gives his five count and KKP breaks, then twists his heel on LDK's forehead before looking out over the fans. They're booing.
They boo more when Paul gives the double-bird to the whole hall.
BILL HEWSON: I cannot think of an NAPW Champion the fans hated as much as they hate Krusty Kid Paul since... Jake Phoenix's former partner, the disgraced Donovan Astros.
JACK JONES: Or Chris Casino, even!
BILL HEWSON: Truly a pantheon of despicable bastards.
KKP picks Rees up and hits a big right hand throwing the man to the corner. Another choke in the corner, broken up before five. KKP slugs Rees right in the side of the neck then irish whips his man into the opposite corner. Charge BOOT UP! KKP staggers backwards as Rees shakes the cobwebs loose... EXPLODES OUT WITH A CLOTHESLINE! KKP gets right back up to eat a second clothesline, then a third! Rees is firing up and hooks the World Champion for a back suplex! He takes an arm of KKP and makes a tag into Billy Kryenik, who tore into KKP not less than two weeks ago.
Kryenik picks up KKP and yells to the crowd. They want to see it! Kryenik nails Paul with a big right hand, then hooks him in for a stiff suplex. The World Champion is in trouble as Kryenik tags in Jer$ey. Kryenik and Jer$ey whip KKP to the ropes and deliver a double back-elbow that floors the champion. Casino trying to get the referee's attention but Kiebiech doesn't see anything illegal going on... just awesome as Jer$ey throws some shots to the champion. He looks like a million bucks going toe-to-toe with Krusty Kid Paul, scooping him up for a flashy innovation of a scoopslam! Jer$ey tags in "The Show" Chad Kurtis and steps out as Paul is prone in the ring... The Show uses the top rope to slingshot in and deliver a twisting splash to the World Champion! The crowd is getting hot as The Show tells them that the "Showstoppa ain't gonna stop THE SHOW!" Kurtis waits for KKP to get up and boots him in the gut, planted! CK FINALE SIGN --- no! KKP backdrops The Show over, Chad lands on his feet, KKP turns around, The Show fires off the SUPERKICK, ducked, KKP runs the ropes and then OBLITERATES an off-balance Kurtis with a big boot! The crowd boos as Krusty Kid Paul screams at The Show, reminding him who the champ is and who the SHOWSTOPPA is. KKP reaches over and tags in Evan Cartwright, who quickly drops The Show back down with a snap suplex before driving a knee into the arm.
JACK JONES: The Show just got stopped by the World Champion, Hewson, just like we knew would happen. And now Evan Cartwright is "perfectly" taking apart Kurtis...
BILL HEWSON: Evan Cartwright the resident submission expert on Dirty Money. Phoenix is the brawling, KKP is the hardcore, Chris Casino brings the technical cheating, but Evan Cartwright is the man who physically dissect you!
JACK JONES: And "The Show" is feeling it right now!
Cartwright hooks a hammerlock, back suplex right onto the arm. Chad reels in pain, cradling his left arm against his chest but gets little salvation as Evan kicks him right there. Evan twists into a wrist-lock, then brings the arm down across his shoulder. Clearly working his man over for the Fujiwara Armbar he likes to employ is Evan Cartwright. He makes a quick tag to Chris Casino, holding Chad in a wrist lock. Casino comes off the 2nd rope with a blow right to the elbow. Chad goes down to one knee... as Casino taunts Show's teammates and the hot-blooded Kryenik rushes in to get at Casino, Kiebiech stops him! And while the referee's back is turned, Dirty Money stomp the hell out of Kurtis in their corner. Casino snapmares Kurtis out as Kiebiech turns around, before delivering a seated dropkick to Chad's face. What a shot. Casino slaps Phoenix on the shoulder and tells him to "get in, dummy." Phoenix glares at Casino but shrugs. Beatin' up a "kurtis bitch" is always a favorite past time to him. He stomps The Show as Kurtis tries to crawl up, taunting him, The Show starts firing left hand shots into Jake's breadbasket! He's trying to get his feet WHAM kneelift by Jake cuts him right off. Phoenix picks up The Show, holds the arm, and delivers a monster short-arm clothesline that knocks Chad's block off. He makes a cover... one, two, Chad kicks out.
Rees yelling encouragement to Chad to try to make the tag, but Jake gets between Chad and the good guy corner, casually booting Kurtis in the head to stop his crawl. Jake turns around and cuffs Jer$ey across the face, prompting the young brawler to get in the ring to get at Jake. Again Kiebiech does his job, intercepting Jer$ey... and allowing Dirty Money to get some cheap shots in. Phoenix literally throws Chad into their corner, and Dirty Money proceed to get their licks in. Jake claps his hands together and steps out. Casino gives him a confused look and Jake smirks, saying "what? You got a problem pickin' up my (BLEEP) scraps?" Casino scowls but comes in. Kiebiech asks if there was a tag, Casino assures him there was. "Didn't you hear the *clap*?"
JACK JONES: Well, Jake Phoenix has never been much of a team-player, but he does what he needs to.
BILL HEWSON: Even Donovan Astros couldn't "control" Jake Phoenix. But if there are people to hurt, Jake Phoenix is usually on board. Dirty Money in firm control, "The Show" really needs to make a tag out in this contest. He can't take much more of this four-on-one attack!
Indeed he can't, particularly not if he keeps getting beaten up like this. Double underhook backbreaker puts The Show down, and then Casino hooks in an armbar. He makes a point of facing the LDK/Kryenik/Jer$ey corner in order to taunt them. Nobody runs in, but then Evan Cartwright walks down the rinside to a neutral corner, and around, which prompts Kryenik to head in his direction. The referee goes to tell them BOTH to get to their corners as Casino hits a LOW BLOW on "The Show" just for the hell of it. Chad is down, Casino drops a cocky elbow and makes a lazy cover. ONE. TWO kick-out. Casino should've hooked a leg. "The Show" won't go down so easily...
Casino picks "The Show" up and whips him to the ropes, back elbow, The Show ducks, Casino tries a clothesline, The Show ducks that as well and hits a cross body block! He takes Casino down, but before he can capitalize the World Champion hits the ring and stomps The Show. Kiebiech trying to get control here but that lets Jake Phoenix come in while Kiebiech is distracted by Paul. He boots The Show and whips him to the ropes... The Show ducks! Clothesline attempt on the rebound, ducked! The Show flies off with another cross body block to Jake Phoenix
That
is
caught.
Phoenix shows Chad to all four sides of the ring, holding him in place easily, then sends him flying like a sack of crap with a Razor Ramon style Fallaway Slam. Kiebiech is yelling at Jake to get out, and the Heritage Champion obliges as Chris Casino *officially* tags out to Krusty Kid Paul. The champion gets in the ring and plants "The Show" in a TREE OF WOE. And that usually means... KKP goes to the apron, grabs The Show's bad arm, and drops backwards for a CROSS ARM-BREAKER! It's CRACK ROCK STEADY from KKP! The Show yelling in pain as Kiebiech finally gets disengaged from Phoenix and starts his count one, two, three, get off the man Paul, four, Paul lets go and drops down to the floor. He looks out over the front row, swiping a beer from a fan with a snarl. Kiebiech is trying to get "The Show" disengaged from the Tree of Woe and succeeds as Paul rolls back in. He takes a swig of beer, The Show gets up, BEER MIST in the face! The Show is blinded and takes a boot to the gut from Paul, followed by a vicious running DDT! That could be all!
ONE!
TWO!
"LDK" with the save via a kick to KKP! Rees' save charges up the crowd, who start chanting "SHOW! SHOW! SHOW!" Paulie tells them to "shut the (BLEEP) up" and pulls up The Show, setting him for a powerbomb. It could be the Krusty Bomb! He lifts up "The Show" --- countered with a FRANKENSTEINER! KKP goes flying but pops up, charges at The Show --- AND EATS SUPERKICK! RIGHT ON THE JAW! THE SHOW TAKES KKP DOWN... but collapses himself! The Show and the Showstoppa are both down. Show starts kicking the canvas, trying to rally the crowd behind him...
CLAP
CLAP
CLAP
CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
And the claps become a roaring applause as "The Show" tries to make his corner! But Paulie is moving, he slaps the hand of one Evan Cartwright... who comes in and grabs "The Show" by the ankle! He pulls Chad away, but NO! ENZIGURI! THE SHOW DIVES ---
AND TAGS IN "LDK" LLOYD REES!
BILL HEWSON: LLOYD REES IS A HOUSE OF FIRE!
Cartwright gets clotheslined down! Casino comes in and gets clotheslined! Phoenix comes in, gets clotheslined and staggered! Evan is up, Rees hip tosses him! Hip toss... on Phoenix? No dice, but Rees instead knees Phoenix in the breadbasket. Casino comes at him, he gets hip tossed on TOP OF PHOENIX! Casino and Phoenix tumble to the outside as KKP tries to get Rees from behind but Rees saw him out of the corner of his eye and turns around, catching Paul with a hip toss OVER THE TOP ROPE ONTO PHOENIX AND CASINO! Rees charging up! He grabs the top rope, leaps up... SPRINGBOARD CORKSCREW SPLASH TO THE OUTSIDE! Rees takes everybody out, and here come Jer$ey and Kryenik to get some! It's breaking down as Rees rolls back in. Evan throws a right, blocked, Rees nails him! Sends Cartwright to the ropes and climbs up for a series of punches, the crowd counting along!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
SIX!
SEVEN!
EIGHT!
NINE!
TEN!
Rees gets off and then attempts to put Evan to the top rope. These two men with a long history against one another, Rees going for the WABANA BUSTER. But Chris Casino has snuck into the ring! He gets beneath Rees and pulls him away from the corner on his shoulders! Rees tries to fight back and get off, but Cartwright comes off the top with a spinning european uppercut as Casino falls back! Rees gets pounded, and Cartwright LOCKS ON THE FUJIWARA ARMBAR! Could Lloyd Rees tap out?!
He fights...
Cartwright wrenches!
The brawl on the floor!
Rees makes the ropes! Kiebiech calls for the break, Evan holding on as long as he can without getting DQed. Rees is slow to get up, and Evan crouches, locking his arm into position. It looks perfect...
TOOOOOOASSSTTYYYYYYYY!
Rees goes down! Evan covers
ONE
TWO!
PRIME TIME SPLASH!
"The Show" breaks up the pinfall with a springboard 450! Evan rolls off of Rees into 'perfect' position for Chad Kurtis to deliver the
BEST
MOONSAULT
EVE---
Krusty Kid Paul knocks The Show off the top rope to the floor below, crashing into the guardrail. Evan tags in KKP, and the Krusty one stomps "LDK." He wants to send a message to Rees a week before the HOUSE OF HORRORS! KKP picks up Rees, BOTTLE OPENER, Rees reverses with a standing switch, going for a German Suplex of his own, KKP fights and gets an elbow to the face, standing switch, BOTTLE OPENER
NO
COUNTERED
INTO THE DDT FROM THE GREEN! HOLY!
ONE!
TWO!
PAUL KICKS OUT!
CONCEPTION BAY CHINLOOOOOOOOCK!
BILL HEWSON: THIS IS THE MOVE THAT HAS WON LDK SO MANY MATCHES! CAN KRUSTY KID PAUL HOLD ON? CAN THE WORLD CHAMPION BREAK FREE? OR WILL HE TAP OUT?
JACK JONES: WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING?!
BILL HEWSON: BECAUSE I CAN BARELY HEAR MYSELF OVER THIS CROWD --- LISTEN TO THEM!
"TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP!" they chant, loud, louder, LOUDEST! Lloyd is wrenching back for all he's worth but Krusty Kid Paul is familiar with pain, he refuses to tap out! He crawls for the ropes... crawls! He's almost there, can he get his leg over the bottom? Wait! Paul raises his hand, IS HE GOING TO TAP OUT?
WHAM.
Jake Phoenix makes the save with a big stomp. He picks up Rees, delivering a HARD blow across Rees' back. Cutthroat. It's OVER. TOMBSTONE TIME ---
HOLY SHIT BILLY KRYENIK WITH HOT SALVATION! Phoenix loses Rees and almost goes down. THE SHOW is back in the ring, HE hits a superkick! Two is not enough, so Kryenik and The Show hit a TIME-WARP DUO SUPERKICK! Finally Phoenix goes down! Cartwright and Casino are getting into the ring, CK and SBK knock them off the apron, share a glance, and DIVE ONTO THE TAG CHAMPS!
Oh, you want more?
JER$EY IS ON THE TOP ROPE!
MOONSAULT ONTO JAKE PHOENIX!
Jer$ey pops up, throwing down MILLION DOLLA STYLE! He turns his attention to Krusty Kid Paul, lifting the man onto his shoulder's in a Fireman's Carry! MILLION DOLLA SHOT ON THE CHAMP --- NO! Paul elbows out and lands behind Jer$ey BOTTLE OPENER! Jer$ey dumped right on his head, Paul floats over with a nasty elbow drop! Paul picks up Jer$ey looking for the Krusty Bomb, but spies Rees getting up and shoves Jer$ey away. Paul whips Rees into the corner, Kiebiech gets out of the way, reversed --- BACK INTO THE CORNER --- KIEBIECH GETS FLATTENED BY PAUL!
BILL HEWSON: OH MY GOSH! The referee just got splattered by Krusty Kid Paul thanks to that reversal! It was inadvertant but we have no official!
JACK JONES: Not that Kiebiech had much control over this match in the first place!
BILL HEWSON: And wait just a damn minute, here comes Suzy Scum, what's she doing? Oh for --- she just tossed a steel chair to KKP! The World Champion has a chair, the referee is down, Rees is up OH MY GOSH! Did you hear that chair shot?!
Rees is down and flattened as the crowd boos the hell out of KKP. "The Show" tries to get in, but he gets yanked down by Cartwright and GEEZ. Sambo Suplex ONTO THE GUARDRAIL! "The Show" crumples to the ground, holding his back in pain. Kryenik sees this and tries to get over, but Casino is quick to SUPERKICK him! Kryenik is down on the floor as all of Dirty Money is in the ring. Jer$ey is up and tries to fight!
JER$EY FIGHTING DIRTY MONEY!
But a Roaring Elbow puts a stop to that, and then Paul clangs HIM with a steel chair to the back! Jer$ey unceremoniously dumped out of the ring by Chris Casino as Dirty Money surround a dazed "LDK" Lloyd Rees. Jake Phoenix is to his feet, and Dirty Money have things well in hand as KKP unfolds the steel chair in the center of the ring.
BILL HEWSON: Dammit, every match, Dirty Money has done this! And nobody seems able to stop them, not even this foursome!
JACK JONES: They're just that much in control, and that GOOD, Hewson. Face facts: You're looking at the best four wrestlers in NAPW, and they have the GOLD to prove it.
BILL HEWSON: I know they do, but ... oh no. What are they going to do to Lloyd Rees?! Casino... Casino is telling Phoenix to CHOKESLAM Rees through that chair! They're going to try to put Rees out before he can even take his rematch next week at Anniversary Assault!
Cartwright kicks in the face as he attempts to get in the ring as KKP and Casino both shout at Phoenix to chokeslam Rees right through the chair. Phoenix gives them both a look of sudden anger, but I mean, it IS Lloyd Rees... he signals for the goozle, but suddenly looks hesitant. No, not hesitant. "I'll do this cos I LIKE it, not cos you two bitches TELL me too." Suddenly Casino is in Jake Phoenix's face, yelling. "You chokeslam that dirty newfie through that chair NOW, dummy! Do what I tell you!" Phoenix swallows hard, facial features flickering...
SLAP.
Casino just slapped Jake Phoenix across the face. Casino screaming at Phoenix like a bad parent as Krusty Kid Paul curses and tells him to "JUST (BLEEP) DO (BLEEP) IT."
Phoenix GOOZLES Lloyd Rees...
Sets him into position...
oh my God, chokeslam through the chair...
Wait a minute.
Jake Phoenix just let Rees go. Rees sags down. Casino gets in Jake Phoenix's face
and
PHOENIX
GRABS CASINO BY THE THROAT!
CHOOOOOOKESLAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMM!
JACK JONES: WHAT THE HELL? NO! NO! NO! WHAT IS HE DOING?!
BILL HEWSON: CHOKESLAM THROUGH THE CHAIR! CASINO CHOKESLAMMED THROUGH THE CHAIR BY JAKE PHOENIX! EVAN CARTWRIGHT --- GOOZLE! CHOKESLAAAAAAM~! PHOENIX CHOKESLAMS EVAN CARTWRIGHT! THE WORLD CHAMPION --- GOOZLE! MY GOD --- CHOKESLAMMMMMMM!
JACK JONES: WHAT? WHAT? WHAAAAT?
BILL HEWSON: I don't believe it! I don't believe it! JAKE PHOENIX IS NOT --- A MEMBER --- OF DIRTY MONEY! JAKE PHOENIX --- IS LEAVING THE RING!
The crowd is going
IN --- FRIKKIN --- SANE!
Phoenix exits, not even worrying about his Heritage title belt, and walks up. He turns around, shouting "NOBODY --- NOBODY (BLEEP) TELLS ME WHAT TO DO, BITCH!" The crowd is chanting "PHOENIX, PHOENIX, PHOENIX"... and then that chanting turns to INSANITY! AS IN THE RING!
"LDK" LLOYD REES LOCKS THE CONCEPTION BAY CHINLOCK ON KRUSTY KID PAUL!
BILLY KRYENIK LOCKS THE BRANCH BREAKER 2 IN ON EVAN CARTWRIGHT!
Jer$ey and "The Show" toss Kiebiech into the middle of the ring, Rees and KKP are legal, Casino and the ruins of the chair are tossed out, and...
CARTWRIGHT AND KKP TAP OUT! THEY TAP OUT!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners... the team of JER$EY, BILLY KRYENIK, "THE SHOW" CHAD KURTIS and "LDK" LLOYD REES!
BILL HEWSON: THEY DID IT! THEY DID IT! A CHINK IN THE ARMOR OF DIRTY MONEY! ONE WEEK BEFORE ANNIVERSARY ASSAULT... "LDK" LLOYD REES HAS MADE THE WORLD CHAMPION TAP OUT! JAKE PHOENIX HAS SHOWN HIS TRUE COLORS! THE "JUSTICE LEAGUE" OF NAPW HAVE TAKEN IT HERE TONIGHT IN CALGARY!
The only thing is that Lloyd Rees refuses to let go of Krusty Kid Paul! Finally "The Show" and Kryenik pull him off, and KKP rolls out of the ring, pulled by Suzy Scum. Cartwright is on the outside, feeling the effects of the Branch Breaker 2, trying to help Casino up... in the ring!
FOUR CORNERS!
THE GOOD GUYS WIN!
WE'LL SEE YOU ON HALLOWE'EN NIGHT!
CREDITS:
Tommy Deathrow vs "Bluegrass Badass" Matthew Kurtis - Ben
O'Connor Boys vs Faces of Death - Brion
"Bad Boy" Joey Malone vs "The Prototype" Josh Markham - Ryan
Dez Carter vs D! - Bean
"WHITE CHOCOLATE~" Tiffany Macintyre vs Lady Sparks & Suzy Scum - Rought
"The Ego Buster" Dan Ryan vs Stone Zellor - Allan
Krusty Kid Paul, Chris Casino, Evan Cartwright & Jake Phoenix vs "LDK" Lloyd Rees, "The Show" Chad Kurtis, Billy Kryenik & Jer$ey - Ryan