The Polish Hall, Edmonton, Alberta, and the house is PACKED in anticipation of the CANADA CUP... and WAR GAMES. The merch booth is doing brisk business as the fans take their seats, just moments to the show. The lights dim... a cheer goes up. Frank Warburton steps into the ring!
FRANK WARBURTON: Wrestling fans, WELCOME... TO THE POLISH HALL! TO NEW ALBERTA PRO WRESTLING! TO CANADA CUP NIGHT 2!
The crowd is loud and ready for a wild show of action!
FRANK WARBURTON: Before we begin, I'd like to just make a couple announcements on behalf of NAPW... we will be back in Edmonton on March 25th, and then on April 3rd in Calgary, it will be the 2009 SOLE SURVIVOR event. Also, tonight we are ---
MOTORHEAD!
Frank trails off as "Heroes" kicks up. The crowd gets on their feet as "THE MURDER CITY DEVIL" JAKE PHOENIX steps through the curtain in jeans, boots, leather jacket and his trademark Oakleys. Jake steps OVER the top rope and holds his hand out for the mic. Frank gives to him without hesitating, and exits the ring. Jake looks over the crowd, eyes hidden by the shades...
JAKE PHOENIX: I guess all of you are expectin' me to come out here and bitch about the bull*BLEEP* Demo-Man pulled last week! About how that little punk hit me with another of his little toys and walked outta there with my Heritage title! And about how the next time I see him, I'm gonna rip his head off!
The crowd cheers loudly at the thought of Demo-Dismemberment. Phoenix waits for the cheers to die down.. then shakes his head.
JAKE PHOENIX: Naw. That ain't gonna happen. Demo-Man, you're a little punk, but you did what nobody else did - you beat me and you took the Heritage title. Ain't nothin' that's gonna change that fact, and I'm sick of lookin' toward the past, so congratulations. The way I see it, you've got 294 days ahead of you to try to be as good as me, and you ain't gonna have a fun time doin' it. Good luck, cuz you're gonna need it!
The crowd cheers again.
JAKE PHOENIX: As for me? I've got bigger fish to fry. I've got a six-nine, 350 pound fish to fry! Lemme make it real clear for those of you that ain't payin' attention - I WANT KRENSHOV, AND I WANT THE WORLD TITLE!
The crowd. Goes. BANANA.
JACK JONES: Did I seriously hear that right?!
BILL HEWSON: Yes, you did! Jake Phoenix has called out KRENSHOV! He wants the NAPW World title!
JAKE PHOENIX: KRENSHOV, you and I have some unfinished business to settle! And I don't care if it's just you, or if I gotta go through D! and Ravager to get to you - your time's comin', and MY time is comin'! When you're done playin' with Dirty Money and III, I'll be right here in this ring waitin' for you. And when I'm through with you, you're limpin' outta here with your tail between your legs, and *I'M* walkin' outta here with the NAPW World title!
Phoenix motions the camera closer to him with one finger.
JAKE PHOENIX:The Reign of Destruction ain't over, boys. It's just beginning.
Motorhead kicks back up, and Jake exits the ring. Frank grabs the microphone from the canvas as Jake takes his leave to an ovation.
FRANK WARBURTON: Jake Phoenix, everybody! In just two minutes we will hold our opening match, so get any last minute snacks or t-shirts NOW! GET READY FOR WRESTLING NAPW FANS!
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is a CANADA CUP SEMI-FINAL MATCH! Introducing first...
"Go Hard" by Dj Khaled, Kayne West & T-Pai pumps the arena with hammer strength bass.. Jer$ey walks out into the entrance way with Mack by his side. Cocky and cool, Jer$ey and Mack make their way to ringside.
FRANK WARBURTON: Coming down the aisle accompanied by his security guard MACK... weighing in at two-hundred twenty pounds and residing in Paterson, New Jer$ey... He is YOUNG MONEY! HE IS JER$EY!
BILL HEWSON: One of the young upstarts in NAPW's time, Jack Attack! Jer$ey has a win over Deathrow's DOOMRIDER partner, Billy Kryenik, it is it inconceivable that "Young Money" could walk out of here tonight with the Canada Cup.
JACK JONES: I don't know about "young" money, but I have "GOOD" money on just that happening! If you know what I mean.
BILL HEWSON: I haven't the foggieset.
JACK JONES: I'm talking about gambling. SHHH.
"Follow me don't follow me!" Orange Crush by R.E.M. starts to play as Tommy Deathrow makes his way out to the ringside area to a tremendous response. Tommy takes his time, walking around ringside, rubbing his hard nipples through his t-shirt, leering at fans, making ladies faint and dudes asking for high-fives. BECAUSE HE IS...
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent, weighing in at two-hundred and fifty-four pounds, from Saint Paul, Minnesota, here is "SUPERSTAR" TOMMY DEATHROW!
BILL HEWSON: He is a three-time NAPW tag team champion, Jack Jones, he is one of the most popular and disturbed men in NAPW, but one thing he has NEVER been in New Alberta Pro is a singles champion. In fact, Deathrow has never even had a shot at the World Championship in over three years here. That could all change TONIGHT...
JACK JONES: Tommy Deathrow, NAPW Champion? That's a scary thought!
DING DING DING
Jer$ey and Deathrow square off in the center of the ring. Deathrow is yapping his jaw as usual "I'm gonna fist (BLEEP) that face of yours punk!". TOMMY DEATHROW: Family Entertainer. Jer$ey nods and then both men go nose to nose in the center of the ring. Deathrow is still yapping at him rocking his head back and forth until Jer$ey shoves him and follows it up with a big right hand to Deathrow. Deathrow grabs his jaw and looks back at the Young Money and throws a right hand of his own, DEAD ON. SLUGFEST! Rights and Lefts are flying around like food in a food fight. Jer$ey connects a stiff shot to Deathrow's gut which winds him. UPPER CUT! Deathrow stumbles backwards and Jer$ey leaps like Michael and tackles him to the canvas. The crowd doesn't like it too much.
BILL HEWSON: What a slugfest to open up this contest! I'm not sure any man wants to go punch for punch with Tommy Deathrow but Jer$ey got the upper hand!
JACK JONES: Thank god. I hope Jer$ey knocks that sicko Deathrow right out of his mind! Eer... More so!
Tommy takes a few punches while lying on the ground before grabbing the back of Jer$ey's head and reversing the situation. Deathrow mounts Jer$ey and starts to unload a flurry of punches, all of which connect like only the Superstar can. The ref tells Tommy to get off and starts to count out loud. At the three mark Deathrow dismounts Jer$ey and pulls him up to his feet. He slams his head into the turnbuckle and then lays boots into the midsection of Jer$ey. Deathrow Irish whips Jer$ey into the opposing turnbuckle and then screams out "You're dead meat kid!" and then runs into Jer$ey, flattening him like a pancake into the corner. Jer$ey is winded now, as Deathrow embraces the fans who are chanting his name. Deathrow holds Jer$ey by the chin and levels him up for a big punch to the jaw and a groan from the crowd. Jer$ey rolls to the outside where Mack is waiting. Mack throws his arm around his man and which gives Jer$ey time to recover.
SUICIDE DEATHROW! Tommy Deathrow dives over the top rope and takes out Mack and Jer$ey! Deathrow gets back to his feet first and kicks at Mack, who rolls away. Deathrow picks up Jer$ey and slams him into the guardrail. Deathrow starts unloading shot after shot with Jer$eys head bouncing back like a ball on a rubber band. SWEATY BALL CLAW! The fans are disgusted,, but they are loving it! Deathrow lets go of the hold. MACK! Mack runs over Tommy with a shoulder tackle. The fans boo like crazy and the referee hops to the outside.
BILL HEWSON: Get him out of here ref!
JACK JONES: HAHAHAH! That stopped Tommy, now didn't it!
The referee is trying to tell Mack to get out of here but he kicks Deathrow a few times before he finally lets up. The ref turns around to look at Tommy, and Mack hands Jer$ey the Golden Sweets. Jer$ey pockets the knuckles before the ref see them. The Ref points to the back and then walks over to Frank Warburton.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and Gentlemen the referee has BARRED Mack from ringside!
The crowd starts to cheer as Mack and Jer$ey are livid. Security start to make their way out to ringside with the crowd chanting "NA NA NA NA! NA NA NA NA! HEY HEY HEY! GOOD BYE!". Mack tries to resist but he is promptly subdued by the security and escorted to the back. But it doesn't matter, the damage has been done and Deathrow is still recovering on the cold cement floor. Jer$ey looks back at Deathrow and gives him a kick to the kidneys before pick him up and slamming him head first into the ring apron. Deathrow is dazed, and gets a hard elbow to the eyebrow with busts open his skin. Deathrow starts bleeding the hardway and Jer$ey is wasting no time, trying to open up the wound with his hands. Deathrow is grunting in pain and gets a shot into Jer$eys midsection. Jer$ey headbutts Deathrow, and blood squirts all over the place.
JACK JONES: That's not healthy.
BILL HEWSON: Tommy Deathrow has been busted open by a vicious elbow from "Young Money" Jer$ey folks. If you have any small kids watching this, now might be the time to send them off to bed.
JACK JONES: Why? This is educational! Kids, this is what you don't do in a wrestling match.
Jer$ey slams Tommy into the steel guard rail as the ref tries to restore all the chaos. He rolls back into the ring and finally starts to count them out.
ONE!
Jer$ey socks Deathrow.
TWO!
Jer$ey rams his shoulder into Deathrow's gut.
THREE!
Jer$ey throws Deathrow into the ring post.
FOUR!
Deathrow falls to the ground and Jer$ey embraces the sea of boos.
FIVE!
Jer$ey picks up Deathrow and suplexes him onto the floor.
SIX!
Jer$ey rolls into the ring.
SEVEN!
Deathrow starts to move
EIGHT!
Deathrow gets to his feet.
NINE
Deathrow finally hears the counting.
TE... NO!
Deathrow rolls into the ring in the nick of time, and is met with a boot from Jer$ey. NO! Deathrow grabs his foot and plows him over with a clothesline. Deathrow is a bloody mess but he goes to work on Jer$ey, bashing his head into the canvas and punching the daylights out of his face. Deathrow gets back up to his feet.
BILL HEWSON: It ain't pretty wrestling folks, but this has turned into one hell of a fight.
JACK JONES: And Deathrow is a bloody mess! He looks better with that crimson mess on his face.
BILL HEWSON: One of these two men will face either The Outlaw or Seamus O'Connor later tonight for the CANADA CUP, but how much will they have left?
JACK JONES: They're leaving it all in the ring, Hewson. Just like Tommy's DNA!
Deathrow picks up Jer$ey and wraps his hands around his throat for a sit down powerbomb! The fans erupt at one of the first actual wrestling moves of the contest. Deathrow gets back to his feet and tries to pick up Jer$ey again. DING! Low Blow! Deathrow drops to his knees as the referee starts warning Jer$ey. Jer$ey nudges the referee a little bit, which evokes a huge uproar from the ref. Jer$ey moves him aside and goes to work on Tommy. He drops an elbow onto the back of his neck, get ups and leg drops him. Jer$ey yanks up Deathrow and drills him into the canvas with a deadly DDT. He goes for the cover. ONE! TWO! KICK OUT! Deathrow gets his shoulder up in time. Jer$ey doesn't like it too much though, he hops back up and kicks Deathrow square between the eyes to keep him down. He points to the top rope and the fans start to boo. Jer$ey steps over and hops up to the top rope. MOON$SAULT --- No! KNEES! Deathrow puts his knees up and Jer$ey's midsection eats it like a fat kid consumes Burger King.
BILL HEWSON: My god! Deathrow got those knees up just in time and Jer$ey is rolling around in pain!
JACK JONES: That was illegal ref! Illegal use of the knees!
BILL HEWSON: How was that even slightly illegal!?
JACK JONES: It's Deathrow. You know he loaded his knee caps with some kind of foreign object! Check the knee caps ref! Do your job in there!
Both men are on the ground, with Tommy starts to move first. Jer$ey regains himself slightly and reaches into his pocket and puts on the Golden Sweets without the referee seeing. The fans noticed it though and they are barking about it. Deathrow gets to his feet, as does Jer$ey who is hiding the Sweets behind his back. Deathrow swings, Jer$ey ducks. Jer$ey swings with the SWEEEEETs... Deathrow ducks! DING! Kick to the balls by Deathrow! Jer$ey hunches over and drops the Golden Sweets onto the ground.
BILL HEWSON: He tried to.. wait a minute!
DEATHROW DRIVER!
JACK JONES: No!
Jer$ey is hammered head first into the canvas with the Deathrow Driver. Tommy throws an arm over him... the ref counts... ONE! TWO! THREE!
DING! DING! DING!
BILL HEWSON: Tommy Deathrow!
JACK JONES: NO! GOD NO! Not Tommy Deathrow!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner and moving onto the Canada Cup Finals..... TOMMY DEATHROW!
The crowd goes CRAZY as Tommy gets his hand raised! Deathrow licks some of the blood streaming down his face, allowing the referee to raise his hand in victory.
BILL HEWSON: Tommy Deathrow advances to the finals, where he will take on the winner of Outlaw vs O'Connor... one hell of a match right here, but THE SUPERSTAR takes the duke.
Tommy heads to the back as Jer$ey starts getting to his feet, disappointed, but a hell of an effort.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following is the OVER-THE-TOP-ROPE BATTLE ROYALE! The only way to eliminate a wrestler is to throw him over the top rope, and BOTH feet must touch the floor. The last surviving wrestler will be the winner, and will receive a shot at either the Heritage or Tag Team Championships! Additionally, as per order of the Commissioner, the FIRST man eliminated will start next month's SOLE SURVIVOR match at #1!
AC/DC kicks up, because AC/DC is always good jock music! Wrestlers start streaming out of the curtain. Trent Daniels leads the way, followed by the WGA contingent of "Bad Boy" Joey Malone, Modo WHOA!, Gary, Big Mitch and Esteban. The Gaines Brothers come up behind them...
Daniels slides in first, his "faithful" chanting for him from the front row. Joey gets in and Daniels doesn't even wait for the bell! Stompy stomp stomp! Shots to all the WGA as they get in, and the crowd showers Daniels in boos. Daniels picks Joey Malone and starts choking him in a corner as The Gaines Brothers enter the ring and start brawling with the other four WGA members.
Ronnie turns his attention to WHOA! As Wayne Wright and Mark "The Moose" Miller are now in the ring! The ring is filled with lefts and rights as Trent smashes away on Big Mitch, Ronnie; old rivals Wayne Wright and Joey Malone take it to the same street level the rest of the match is on as Esteban and Gary try to save WHOA! from the Gaines.
BILL HEWSON: All but one competitor is in the ring, the first one to be tossed out enters in the dreadful number one spot at Sole Survivor.
And here comes THE GREAT PUMA II at a run! He slides in the ring and makes a BEELINE for Trent Daniels --- only for The Moose to cut him off! NO! TGPII TAKES DOWN MOOSE! Daniels gulps as the FURIOUS TGPII eyes him down, eyes blazing through his mask... WAYNE WRIGHT! And The Moose is up! Grade A double-teaming TGPII, preventing him from getting to the man whose blood he wants.
BILL HEWSON: Wayne and Moose look determined to take out TGPII here tonight, but the question is can they pull it off?
JACK JONES: I don't think so Bill, what they should do is go help Hank and Ronnie get Big Mitch out of there.
Trent chokes Big Mitch with his boot, as across the ring TGPII is being lifted up by Grade A in an elimination attempt. TGPII fighting for all he's worth, he slips out, Grade A turn around --- and each eat a boot to the face courtesy of a split-legged dropkick! The Gaines Brothers attempt to whip Esteban and Gary into one another, but that's REVERSED! The Gaines collide in a big southern pile-up! Esteban and Gary high-five, only to take a double clothesline from Trent Daniels from behind! That sneaky bastard. Daniels grins and claps his hands to show the ease with which he accomplished that, but his "faithful" are suddenly yelling for him to turn around.
Daniels slowly turns around...
And TGPII is standing right behind him. The only two standing in the ring!
BILL HEWSON: AND HERE WE GO!
Daniels tries to make peace with TGPII, NO DICE! TGPII DESTROYING TRENT DANIELS! RIGHT HAND! RIGHT HAND! Daniels gets knocked down, gets up, GETS KNOCKED DOWN! Daniels is begging off now, TGPII hesitates just for a second, the crowd is going crazy, they want it...
BILL HEWSON: Wait a minute --- somebody just jumped the guardrail --- oh my gosh, that's HATEWORK! But he's been banned from the building!
JACK JONES: Wrong, Hewson! Hatework was banned from COMPETING! Nobody said he couldn't buy a ticket!
BILL HEWSON: TGPII has no idea, WAIT! NO! BIG BOOT BY HATEWORK!
Daniels rolls the HELL out of the way, out to the floor, where he skulks, peeking over the apron to see what's going on. The crowd boos as the massive Hatework lifts up Esteban... WHAT A POWERSLAM! Wayne Wright is to his feet... HOLY HELL LARIAT! FLIPS HIM INSIDE OUT! The Moose charges Hatework, WHAM! Taken down by a huge overhand shot! Gary stands up, Hatework grabs him... BACKBREAKER! Damn near in half! "Bad Boy" Joey Malone attacks, trying to save his WGA brethren... WHAM. Hatework knocks the "Bad Boy" down... Oh no.
HATEBOMB!
Here comes security, Hatework has left CARNAGE in the ring. Hatework calmly steps out of the ring, and begins to walk back towards the locker room, security flanking him. He's made his POINT...
And Trent Daniels sneaks back into the ring, picks up the half-dead Joey Malone, and casually dumps him over the top rope!
FRANK WARBURTON: Joey Malone has been eliminated!
BILL HEWSON: And then there where ten.
JACK JONES: I can't wait to watch him go in to the Sole Survivor at the number one spot... OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
BILL HEWSON: The Gaines Brothers are trying to get four-hundred plus pound Big Mitch over the top... can even those two hosses do that? ... THERE GOES BIG MITCH! Huge elimination by The Gaines Brothers!
FRANK WARBURTON: Big Mitch has been eliminated!
The Gaines Brothers with a big display of strength there. A groggy TGPII is getting up, ... and sees a clear shot at Trent Daniels! TGPII moves in but gets blocked by Esteban who politely tells TGPII to "Suck my balls" as Trent ties up with WHOA!! TGPII clobbers Esteban, but The Moose gets TGPII in a chokehold and drags him towards the ropes. Trent grabs Gary and feeds him a low blow! TGPII is still in the choke hold being dragged towards certain doom as Esteban continues to yell "SUCK MY BALLS!" Geez, Esteban. TGPII with an elbow to The Moose's stomach! TGPII SLAPS Esteban across the face, HARD, and then tosses a stunned Esteban over the top by his greasy hair!
FRANK WARBURTON: Esteban has been eliminated!
TGPII stiffs Moose, and again locks his eyes on Trent Daniels... but Gaines Brothers make there move on TGPII just as Trent throws tosses WHOA! into the turn buckles! OUT OF NOWHERE Gary rushes in, only for Trent to counter with a hip-toss OVER THE TOP ROPE! HOLY!
FRANK WARBURTON: Gary has been eliminated!
BILL HEWSON: Trent is doing a mighty good job keeping his distance from TGPII! And the entire WGA except for Modo WHOA! has been eliminated now!
Trent Daniels tosses Modo Whoa!
FRANK WARBURTON: Modo WHOA! has been eliminated!
BILL HEWSON: ... THE ENTIRE WGA HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED!
JACK JONES: Good riddance! And Trent Daniels isn't avoiding TGPII, it's just the nature of a battle royale. Every man for himself!
The Gaines Brothers send TGPII to the ropes, double back body drop --- NO! DOUBLE DDT FROM TGPII! He looks for Trent Daniels... Daniels looks panicked as TGPII stalks his prey.
WAYNE WRIGHT ATTACKS
AND GETS THROWN OVER THE TOP ROPE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Wayne Wright has been eliminated!
Wow, that was, uh... TGPII not even taking his eyes off of Daniels as he eliminates Wayne like a mosquito! Daniels backs into the ropes, not interested in tying it up with TGPII --- Daniels suddenly falls through the -middle- rope and to the floor. The nearby referee checks on him as Trent holds his ankle, howling in pain.
BILL HEWSON: That Trent just can't get a break.
JACK JONES: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? He gets breaks all the time, why just a few weeks ago it was his ribs and now it look like his ankle.
TGPII looks ready to dive OVER the top to get at Daniels --- but The Gaines Brothers will not leave him be! TGPII is giving it his all, out numbered two to one but still not ready to quit. Hank & Ronnie, however, have a tremendous size and numbers advantage... they set him up for a double power bomb --- TGPII WIGGLES FREE! He leans back near the ropes, getting worn out... Hank and Ronnie charge him! TGPII PULLS DOWN THE TOP ROPE! HANK GAINES GOES SAILING OVER TO THE FLOOR! Ronnie JUST stops himself short, pointing to his head to display his smarts... and TGPII HITS A CLOTHESLINE SENDING RONNIE TO THE FLOOR!
FRANK WARBURTON: The Gaines Brothers have been eliminated!
BILL HEWSON: TGPII is the only man left in the ring --- WAIT A MINUTE! DANIELS FROM BEHIND WITH A LOW BLOW! His ankle's fine, DAMMIT! And --- OH MY! That was a STRAIGHTJACKET DDT!
JACK JONES: TGPII is out, Hewson!
BILL HEWSON: Trent Daniels... and it's over! Daniels wins! Dammit!
FRANK WARBURTON: AND HERE IS YOUR WINNER, TREEEEENT DANIELS!
BILL HEWSON: Daniels did everything he could to avoid the wrath of TGPII, and gets the win... after TGPII almost single-handedly fought through this entire battle royale to get to him! Unbelievable!
JACK JONES: Hey, QUIET. Trent has a mic!
BILL HEWSON: ...Fantastic.
Daniels soaks in the boos, lifting the mic to his lips.
TRENT DANIELS: And now, I would to announce that I will be claiming a TAG TEAM TITLE SHOT...
BILL HEWSON: A tag title shot? With WHO?
Daniels rolls out of the ring and stands over the fallen form of TGPII.
TRENT DANIELS: With my partner THE GREAT PUMA II --- ERRKKK*
PUMA IS ALIVE! Daniels takes a shot to the face and stumbles down the aisle! TGPII is woozy from the sick Straightjacket DDT, but is powered by ANGER. He chases Daniels, another shot! Daniels trying to get away, TGPII following him with PUNCHING. What in the WORLD is Trent Daniels trying to accomplish? TGPII follows Trent through the curtain... somebody better get involved backstage or Daniels might not survive the night!
FRANK WARBURTON: The following MIXED TAG MATCH is set for one fall with a fifteen minute time limit! Introducing first...
"You Can't Kill Terror" by Gwar queues up and from the back to enormous boos saunters Suzy Scum, carrying her purse to the ring as she powders her face making sure she looks good for her time in the spotlight.
FRANK WARBURTON: From Edmonton Alberta Canada, she weighs in at one hundred and twenty-eight pounds and stands at five foot seven inches... SUZY SCUM!
Boos as she climbs into the ring. "Devil Man (Demo-Man remix)" by Rob Zombie quickly follows Suzy's entrance music, but if anything the boos get even louder. Demo-Man walks from the back with a smirk on his face and distain for the crowd.
FRANK WARBURTON: From Detroit Michigan, he weighs in at two hundred and eighty-seven pounds and stands at six feet six inches... he is YOUR reigning NAPW Canadian Heritage Champion, DEMO-MAN!
Demo-Man takes exceptino to Frank's announcing and points out his "AMERICAN" Heritage Title belt. Boos rain down until... "Sailor Moon Theme" (metal version) blares and the crowd changes immediately to loud uproars of cheers for Asuka Katsuragi She stops just past the curtain and absorbs the cheers.
FRANK WARBURTON: From Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, she stands at five feet six inches and weighs in at one hundred and thirty-two pounds... she is your NAPW Women's champion... ASUKA KATSURAGI!
She holds the title up for the crowd to see, but she does not move closer to the ring. She waits. "Twinkle, Twinkle" by L'Arc En Ciel begins to play and the crowd stands up on their feet. Dez Carter walks from the back and holds a fist high up into the air for the crowd. He points down to the ring and they nearly blow the roof off the building.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and Gentlemen, from Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, he stands at six feet and two inches and weigh in at two hundred and forty-four pounds.... DEZ CARTER!
He and Asuka bump knuckles, look down to the ring and sprint down as one. Sliding into the ring, they prepare for the fight. Asuka climbs out of the ring and into her corner, Suzy does the same on her side of the ring. Referee Dick Kiebiech calls the bell.
DING DING DING
Demo-man and Dez are set to start this match. They go for the lock up but Demo-Man holds up a hand, bending down to check on his boot laces. He stands up, the boot laces being firmly tied. Lock up attempt, but Demo-Man points over at Asuka and Dez turns to check on her before realizing the tactics used by Demo-Man. Lock up attempt again, but Demo-Man rushes over to his corner to chat with Suzy Scum about something and she motions to about mid thigh on her leg. WHAM! Stiff forearm shot from Dez nearly knocks him into Suzy Scum. Wrist grab and an Irish whip into the opposite corner, Dez follows. Leaping body splash into the corner followed up with another stiff forearm. Irish whip into the ropes, Demo-Man is sent hurling towards the ropes, Dez bounces off the ropes himself. Clothesline takedown and Demo-Man is on the mat.
BILL HEWSON: Dez Carter had enough of Demo-Man's antics.
JACK JONES: He was blindsided, not cool. When will the referees do their job and protect law-abiding wrestlers such as Demo-Man?
BILL HEWSON: Will you be serious?
Suzy taunts Asuka on the other side of the ring, pointing out her lack of female anatomy. Asuka raises an eyebrow at the juvenile taunting, unaffected. Dez pulls Demo-Man up to his knees, unseen low blow from Demo-Man and Dez turns red faced immediately. Demo and Suzy laugh. Suzy hollers over to Asuka and wonders who is the man in their relationship. Asuka has had enough and charges into the ring. Demo-Man doesn't see it but Suzy leaps through the ropes shoulder blocking Asuka down to the mat. Those two begin to roll around throwing punches at each other, it is not a cat fight, but a brawl anyone would be proud of. Demo-Man looks back at the two brawling and shrugs his shoulders, he turns back to Dez. Stiff right hand from Dez rocks Demo-Man back. Another, and a third is blocked by Demo-Man. Demo-Man throws a right hand of his own Irish whipping Dez into the ropes, he follows quickly with a clothesline and both men go over the top rope.
JACK JONES: Cat fight! We've got a cat fight!
BILL HEWSON: I swear sometimes you act like a school boy watching a fight for the first time.
JACK JONES: Who doesn't like a good cat fight?
Inside the ring Asuka has Suzy in a side headlock and is punching away at her temples. Kiebiech is trying to get them out of the ring and get the two out of the ring, inside the ring. Such a confusing turn of events as Dez and Demo-Man both get up outside the ring. Dez swings with a big time haymaker, Demo-Man ducks under with a thumb to Dez's right eye, it immediately begins to run water. Dez holds a hand up to his offended eye, short clothesline from Demo-Man takes him down, where he places a thumb into Dez's other eye. The crowd is giving Demo-Man the total opposite of love; they are trying to do their best to boo him out of the building. Demo-Man seems to be encouraged by their "love" as he gets Dez up for a bodyslam on the unforgiving concrete!
BILL HEWSON: There's no mats out there, folks, that's just solid concrete! And the referee needs to get control of this one!
Back inside the ring Suzy pushes Asuka up to her feet slamming her back first into the corner. Suzy is doing her best to get out of the side headlock, Asuka doing her best to keep Suzy synched in. Suzy with a shot to her ribs, another, but Asuka holds on firmly to the hold. Suzy forces Asuka into the ropes she releases the hold. Suzy stumbles out from the corner and Asuka is on the rebound. Suzy drops to the mat with a drop toe hold and Asuka's throat is slammed down across the top rope, the crowd boos as Suzy gets up smiling. Suzy pulls up a choking Asuka up to her knees where she can lock on a Million Dollar Dream sleeper to do more damage!
Outside the ring Dez is trying to get to his feet as Demo-Man taunts him tenaciously. Demo-Man waves his hands for Dez to hurry and get up, Dez obliges. Short arm clothesline to Demo-Man's gut. Back fist to Demo-Man's face, high knee lift into his face as well and Demo-Man is being rocked and rolled outside the ring. The referee has his hands full with trying to get Suzy and Asuka to their respective corners, so he hasn't even bothered to start the mandatory count. If he gets them back in the ring it will just be too much for him to handle, so he takes one problem at a time. Asuka up to one knee, struggling against the sleeper hold's effect. The other knee, Suzy is fighting to remain in control. Asuka slams backwards and Suzy moves out of the way just in time to bounce off the ropes with a bulldog into a side headlock of her own. Suzy manages to turn the side headlock into a crossface submission hold, but they are not legal therefore a submission will not count.
JACK JONES: Make her tap! Suzy is dominating Asuka here.
BILL HEWSON: They aren't legal, it will not count. Kiebiech has not had control of this match from minute one.
Dez rolls Demo-Man back into the ring and he body slams Demo-Man on top of Suzy and the crossface is broken up. The referee manages then to get Suzy and Asuka to their respective corners. Dez lifts Demo-Man up to his feet and positions him for a vertical suplex in the middle of the ring. Demo-Man lifts a knee into Dez's maleness and the suplex is blocked, through a round a bout means. The crowd is hating heavily on Demo-Man for his tactics as Suzy is cheering him on, but seems upset that she isn't in the ring getting the spotlight. Demo-Man smiles as he rakes both hands down Dez's face, the fingernails leaving red welts on his face. Elbow shot to Dez's temple right hand, and an Irish whip into the ropes. Dez comes back and is lifted high up into the air and back down with a back body drop, Dez crashes to the mat hard. Twisting him up with a wristlock, Demo-Man walks over to the corner and tags in Suzy Scum and she smiles. But so does Asuka, because she is now legal in this match.
BILL HEWSON: Demo-Man tagging in Suzy, but that makes Asuka legal too.
JACK JONES: Watch out Suzy!
Asuka charges in from the other side of the ring with a scissor kick move over Dez's body taking Suzy by surprise and shoving her backwards up and over the top rope. She wastes little time in scaling the corner turnbuckles and diving with a plancha onto Suzy Scum on the outside. Both women crumple to the floor as Demo-Man looks on bewildered and still holding Dez's wrist in a wristlock. Demo-Man's mouth is wide open letting in all the flies in the world and he is paying absolutely no attention to his opponent. Right jab to Demo-Man's ribs, another, and now Demo-Man realizes that he is still in a match. Dez turns his wristlock into a hammerlock onto Demo-Man who yells out in pain. Demo-Man is in the ropes, but seeing as how they are no longer legal, it doesn't matter. The referee has once again lost control of this one. Asuka whips Suzy into the ring steps following with a knee lift into her midsection and rolling smoothly into an even flow DDT to the concrete. Sensing the end might be near, she rolls her would be contender for her Women's championship into the ring just as Dez clotheslines Demo-Man up and over the top. He follows quickly with a leap from the apron. Asuka pulls Suzy up to her feet and begins to pepper her with lefts and rights, while on the outside Dez is slammed from his leap to the floor with a spinebuster! HOLY HELL!
JACK JONES: Those are closed fists. Stop this blatant cheating!
BILL HEWSON: Cheating while Asuka is doing it, but legal when Suzy is doing it?
JACK JONES: Your idiotic point being what exactly?
Demo-Man looks up into the ring and nods, he knows he has to hurry. He reaches into Suzy's purse and pulls out some furry handcuffs, he shakes his head but latches them around Dez's wrist and handcuffs him to the guardrail outside. He smirks as the crowd boos and Dez's feeble attempts to get away are met with sadistic laughter from Demo-Man. He turns and Sees Asuka signaling for the K-Bomb!
DEMO-DEMOLISHOR ON ASUKA!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Scum covers, Asuka was just ... well, DEMOLISHED by Demo-Man!
ONE...
TWO...
Dez has gotten free somehow, one half of the cuff is still attached to his wrist.
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Winners of the match, the team of Demo-Man and Suzy Scum!
Demo-Man holds the pretty slender wrist of Suzy into the air, the crowd booing. Neither of the two victors have any idea that Dez Carter has BROKEN the fuzzy cuffs (get the extra-strong kind next time, Suzy)... AND IS RIGHT BEHIND THEM! DEZ SPINS DEMO-MAN AROUND --- Suzy dives out of the way of spinning feet!
GOOOOOOOOO TOOOOOOO SLEEEEEEEEEE!P
JACK JONES: Oh come on, the match is over!
BILL HEWSON: But Dez with something to prove now.
JACK JONES: Well he should have proved it when the match was still going on.
Dez checks on Asuka as Suzy backs away and towards her corner away from the pissed off Dez Carter. Dez is bending down beside Asuka...
*FRZZZZZZk*!
Suzy holds THE SHOCKER up high for the crowd to see as Dez rolls around in pain, Suzy just smiles as she turns towards Asuka, flicking the SHOCKER on and off. Asuka backs up, dazed but aware of her danger...
And the crowd CHEERS?
WAIT A MINUTE!
IT'S LYNDSEY VALENTINE!
VALENTINE WITH A BLUEGRASS MAFIA kick to the back of Suzy's skull and the female member of Dirty Money flies through the ropes to land beside a groggy Demo-Man. Inside the ring, Lyndsey looks out over the cheering crowd... and then picks up the Women's Championship. Asuka cautiously gets to her feet, holding her head. Lyndsey holds the Women's title out to Asuka with a steely look in her eyes. Asuka takes the title, nodding at Lyndsey who obviously wants a title shot, and helps a hurting Dez Carter to his feet. Dez has to stand with Asuka's help and that appears to be barely enough thanks to the effects of the SHOCKER. A slight trickle of blood trickles down from the corner of his mouth. Suzy and Demo head to the back, looking worse for wear but scummily the winners...
JACK JONES: And so it was with a heavy heart that I let her go. I know you doubt me, but it was for the best.
BILL HEWSON: I still don't believe you captured Bigfoot.
JACK JONES: If only I hadn't broken my camera...
Slayer blasts through the speakers, and the crowd directs their venom to the big man making his way to the ring.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and it is a Canada Cup Semi Final Match! Introducing first, accompanied by Jack Stanz. He weighs two hundred and eighty pounds, and he hails from San Antonio, Texas... "THE ORIGINAL LEGEND" THE OUTLAW!
The Dropkick Murphys take over the speakers, and the fans pop huge (and who wouldn't? The Dropkick Murphys rock...)
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent! Accompanied by his brother Sean. He weighs one hundred and fifty pounds. From Boston, Massachusetts... SEAMUS O'CONNOR!
The O'Connors glad hand the fans at ringside on their way to the ring, but Seamus keeps a close eye on his opponent. Once again he's the smaller man in the match. The Outlaw smirks at his opponent as referee John Sharplin calls for the bell. They go for a lock up, but Seamus wisely ducks and goes behind, and nails a dropkick to the back of The Outlaw's knee! The leg buckles but he does not go down, so Seamus hits the ropes and comes back with a dropkick to the same knee, and again the big man staggers. He regains his balance and tries to grab Seamus, but O'Connor is too quick, and goes back to the ropes, and nails another dropkick to the knee, and this takes the big man off his feet! He's down on his good knee, and Seamus delivers a roundhouse kick to the face... Outlaw playing possum, catches Seamus' leg, and now he locks him up for a T Bone Suplex! Seamus tossed half way across the ring, and luckily doesn't land on his head, but damage has been done!
BILL HEWSON: And with one move, The Outlaw changes the entire complexion of this match!
He hooks Seamus' leg for a cover, but only gets two. He unloads with forearm shots to the face of O'Connor, trying to beat him senseless. He drags Seamus up off the mat, and then hits him with a belly to belly suplex! Again Seamus planted in the mat, and again The Outlaw goes for a cover! One... two... Seamus gets a shoulder up. He hauls Seamus off the mat, but O'Connor starts to fight back with some right hands. The Outlaw is barely staggered by these blows, clobbers Seamus with a hard fist, then whips him to the ropes. He tries to take Seamus' head off with a clothesline, but Seamus ducks it, hits the opposite ropes and comes back with a springboard backfist! The Outlaw stunned, Seamus kicks the knee of Outlaw, and then nails a hurricanrana! He hooks the leg for a cover! One... two... Outlaw kicks out! Seamus does not let up, hitting the second rope and then coming off with a moonsault! Another cover! One... Two... Outlaw kicks out again! Seamus hits the ropes...
And Jack Stanz grabs his leg! Referee John Sharplin didn't see it, but Sean did, and he comes over to help his brother. Meanwhile The Outlaw is back up, and he clobbers Seamus with knee to the kidneys! He follows it up with a German Suplex! Seamus nearly folded in half! Outlaw covers! One... two... Seamus barely gets a shoulder up!
JACK JONES: Sean O'Connor trying to take away from The Outlaw's clean victory by starting trouble with his manager! How unsportsmanlike!
BILL HEWSON: ... You're not even trying.
JACK JONES: It's too cold to think...
The Outlaw goes for a chin lock, trying to keep his speedy opponent grounded. Seamus is not going to be able to power out of this, but that doesn't stop him from trying to reach the ropes. Outlaw pulls him towards center ring... Seamus slides onto his back. Outlaw leans over to grab him... Seamus with a boot to the jaw of The Outlaw! He staggers a second, then leans back to try and pick up Seamus, only to get another boot. The Outlaw is surprised to say the least, and Seamus capitalizes with a hard knee to the gut! He hits the ropes and comes back with a blockbuster! The Outlaw is down, and he rolls out of the ring to regroup with Jack Stanz...
SPRINGBOARD PLANCHA ONTO BOTH MEN! Seamus taking a huge risk, but it pays off as he takes the big man down and earns a roar of approval from the fans!
JACK JONES: Good job idiot. Now how are you going to get him back in the ring?
Seamus nails a rising Outlaw with lefts and rights, trying to keep him off balance. The Outlaw pushes him away and slides back into the ring. Seamus slides in after him... Jack Stanz grabs his leg! John Sharplin is busy with The Outlaw and doesn't see it! Seamus kicks Stanz away, but The Outlaw has his opening to drop a huge elbow across the chest of Seamus! Stanz has a huge smirk on his face, but it lasts only until Sean races around the ring after him! Stanz takes flight as Sean chases him to the back! The Outlaw yells at Sean to mind his own business... Seamus with a roll up! One... two... Outlaw kicks out! Seamus to his feet in a flash, and tries to nail a rising Outlaw with a dropkick... Outlaw moves out of the way, and catches O'Connor, then drives him to the mat with a sidewalk slam! Seamus nearly crushed there! And now The Outlaw looks to finish things, as he locks on Texas Justice! Seamus is nearly bent in half by the hold, as The Outlaw puts all his weight into it! Sean is back at ringside, and he tries to rally the fans behind his brother! Seamus doesn't look like he's got any means of escape, but he shakes his head "NO" when asked if he wants to submit. The Outlaw cinches in deep with the hold, trying to break Seamus legs or back (maybe even both), but O'Connor has no quit in him. Outlaw loosens the hold just a second, trying to get a better grip, and Seamus manages to twist enough that he can grab the bottom rope! A huge sigh of relief from the fans as the hold is broken, but The Outlaw does not stop now. He drags Seamus to center ring and tries to lock the hold on again... Seamus reverses into a small package! One... two... Outlaw kicks out! He swings wildly at Seamus, who ducks and sneaks behind for a crucifix pin! One... two... Outlaw kicks out! Seamus hits the ropes and comes back with a dropkick square to the jaw of The Outlaw! The big man is down, and Seamus to the top rope. 360 Splash! And a cover!
ONE!
TWO!
The Outlaw kicks out!
BILL HEWSON: Seamus with some huge moves there, seconds away from advancing to the finals!
Seamus is frustrated, but knows he'll need something huge to take the big man down once and for all. He hits the ropes and comes at Outlaw with a Lou Thesz press...
Outlaw catches him, and he nails the overhead belly to belly...
Seamus lands on his feet! Outlaw turns around and is shocked to see Seamus standing in front of him, and is even more surprised when he gets nailed with a step up enziguri! Outlaw down to one knee, Seamus with a DDT! And a cover! One! Two! Outlaw kicks out! The fans groan as they thought that was it, but Seamus is back up, and double stomps Outlaw across the chest! The Outlaw grimaces in pain, and Seamus hits him with a standing moonsault! And a cover! One... two... Outlaw with a foot on the bottom rope! Seamus rolls his eyes as the fans are on their feet, ready to explode when Seamus gets the three. The Outlaw groggily gets to his feet, and Seamus goes for a bulldog...
Outlaw pushes Seamus away, and he goes for the Money Maker!
Seamus grabs the top rope, and the Outlaw winds up flat on his back! The Big Man is winded, and Seamus sees his chance! He climbs to the top rope...
IRISH INSIGNIA!
OUTLAW GETS THE KNEES UP!
The fans go quiet as Seamus rolls on the mat. The Outlaw is back to his feet, and he hauls Seamus off the mat, and sets him up for West Texas Rain...
Seamus reverses into a DDT!! And now the fans are making noise again, as Seamus goes for the pin!
ONE!
TWO!
THR- OUTLAW GETS A SHOULDER UP!
BILL HEWSON: What does this kid have to do?
JACK JONES: Buy a gun. Maybe a tank...
Seamus was sure that was three, but doesn't argue for long. He pulls himself back to his feet, and waits for the Outlaw to rise. The big man is groggy, and he weaves a bit, having taken some stiff shots to the head. Seamus hits him with a headbutt, causing The Outlaw to see even more stars. He hits the ropes, and comes back with a body press...
Outlaw catches him.
And nails a fall away slam! Seamus sent into the turnbuckles, and he is hurt big time. The Outlaw staggers over to the corner, and pulls Seamus off the turnbuckles. He hoists him onto his shoulders...
WEST TEXAS RAIN!
Seamus hits the mat with a thud, and the Outlaw hooks both legs, putting all his body weight into the pin.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner, advancing to the finals of the Canada Cup... "THE ORIGINAL LEGEND" THE OUTLAW!
BILL HEWSON: Seamus seemed to have the match won on several occasions, but all it takes is one big move for the Outlaw to regain momentum. Still, I expect more great things from these two...
The fans boo viciously, but The Outlaw ignores the jeers. He has a big match to prepare for, squaring off against TOMMY DEATHROW in the finals later tonight. Sean helps his brother up off the mat as the fans give him a huge ovation.
-INTERMISSION #1-
"Together we fly,
Together we fall,
Together we all see,
The Death Of It All!"
Death of it all by Rob Zombie kicks out the jams and the crowd gets to their feet. Billy Kryenik walks out from the back to a big ovation. Billy has his mask positioned more like a hat. A two-headed Billy?! He smiles his mudblup face off and pulls out The Captain from behind his back. He holds him up with one hand, and holds up his NAPW Tag Team Championship high up in the air. He makes his way down to ringside, rolling in and taking the microphone left on the mat.
BILLY KRYENIK: You know guys, I wasn't quiet about the fact that I'm not booked here tonight. I said I'd rather be wrestling, and I meant that.
The crowd cheers and starts a small SBK! SBK! Chant. Billy chuckles and then motions for them to settle down.
BILLY KRYENIK: But it doesn't matter anyway because I'm here tonight anyhow. You know guys, there's a lot going on in my head right now. I have a ton on my mind, and a few skulls I want to kick in. So I'm not going to waste time here and just say that Krenshov, I hope Bruce Richards doesn't beat your face in too bad later tonight.
I want the pleasure driving you into the mat with a Dry Lake before you're gigantism kicks in and makes you a crutch lovin' cripple. Everybody knows that sooner or later, I'm going to get my hands on you and we're going to have ourselves a (BLEEP) fight. But lucky for you Krenshov, I have other things that I need to do before I make a big push to turn you into a broken branch.
Billy pats the tag team title and holds it up in the air.
BILLY KRYENIK: You had this bad boy once upon a time. In fact a lot of guys have held these titles. I myself have held this set of titles with three different partners. That's not something most people can say. First it was with that scum sucking low life Evan Cartwright, then it was my Doomrider partner Tommy Deathrow who has also held these titles with three men and right now, Bruce Richards and I have... set aside out differences, and as The Captain knew, it turned out pretty damn good.
It feels damn good to co-hold these titles right now, and it makes me proud to be a champion
once again for all my supporters in the crowd.
The crowd starts a round of applause which Billy embraces bashfully. Billy lifts The Captain to his ear...
"Follow me, don't follow me
I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush
Collar me, don't collar me"
Orange Crush by R.E.M. kicks out and Tommy Deathrow walks through the curtain. His face is covered with dried blood, bruises and a swollen eyebrow. The crowd cheers. Billy has a bit of a confused look on his face, but looks glad to see his partner as Deathrow makes his way to the ring with a look of stone. He rolls into the ring and Frank Warburton hands him a microphone.
BILLY KRYENIK: Tommy, it's great to see you. Hell of a win earlier tonight man!
TOMMY DEATHROW: Well, Mr. Kryenik How's it going. I see you have won the tag belts. Congrats
BILLY KRYENIK: Yeah man, I can't believe it either. One minute I win and lose the world title, the next I win the tag team titles with Bruce Richards. It's unreal man. And you're just a match away from the CANADA CUP!
TOMMY DEATHROW: Yep. It's kinda funny Billy. Before those titles you wanted nothing more in the world than to bring the Doomriders back together. To retake the tag division. But I guess that lasted a whole (BLEEP) match, What happened Billy?
Billy is stunned where he stands. The crowd is not sure how to react.
TOMMY DEATHROW Was Tommy not good enough anymore for you? Or were you to scared of the sexy awesomeness that is the Superstar Was I scaring your lil rabbit?
BILLY KRYENIK: What... what are you talking about man? Of course your good enough. You're a (BLEEP) Doomrider.
TOMMY DEATHROW You're right I am a Doomrider. The living proof in the flesh. I have the scars to prove it. Something you once wore proud to with me. But now what are you? What's a "Rough Ryder"? You trying to capitalize off of what we once had? What are you? Or who are you?
BILLY KRYENIK: Look man, I don't know what the hell you're talking about. I am still a Doomrider. I always have been and always will be.
TOMMY DEATHROW Only one of those things is true. You WERE a Doomrider. But now, I see where your alliance lies. You'd rather hang out with those jerk-offs in III, then kick it with your old pal Superstar. You Billy, are nothing like a Doomrider anymore. You turned your back on the idea of a Doomrider when you won those tag team titles with Bruce Richards. You disgust me, and that's not an easy task.
BILLY KRYENIK: I didn't turn my back..
SMACK. Tommy backhands Billy across the face and the crowd groans. Billy and Tommy stand nose to nose. The Captain wiggles free and starts standing on his hind legs as if to strike like a cobra-bunny.
TRENT. DANIELS.
From the crowd, Trent Daniels jumps the barricade and the crowd starts yelling in a whirlwind. Billy and Tommy have their eyes locked on each other as Daniels grabs a chair and slides in the ring. THUMP. Daniels hit Billy Kryenik in the back of the head with the chair. Kryenik falls to the mat like a sack of bricks. Tommy Deathrow backs off, still with fire in his eyes. Daniels starts to kick Billy in the back and then flips him over, and yanks the mask completely off his head. He starts hammering away at Billy, who looks near defenseless after that chair shot from behind.
Tommy just looks on with a sick look on his face. Daniels keeps hammering away as The Captain jumps at him and bites him. Daniels bats him away and he rolls a few feet away. Tommy steps in and grabs Daniels to a big eruption! But Tommy isn't punishing Daniels for his actions. Daniels and Deathrow stand side by side, looking down at Billy who doesn't even know what hit him. The crowd turns too a huge round of boos.
BRUCE RICHARDS!
Richards runs out from the back and slides into the ring with his fists up. He is saying "Come on you bastards!". Daniels and Deathrow don't even flinch. They just back off and roll out of the ring, keeping their eyes locked on The Beast. Bruce kneels down and recovers the Captain before checking on his partner. Daniels and Deathrow walk backwards, eyes still on the ring. The crowd has no idea what to think about THIS turn of events...
JACK JONES: Yeah so after that win, my Jer$ey was retired by the school. Pretty impressive huh?
BILL HEWSON: If you consider you're talking about High School and the fact your Jer$ey was lettering in The Chess Club then yes I suppose it is impressive.
JACK JONES: Damn straight!
BILL HEWSON: Let's go to the ring before we travel any further down memory lane shall we?
FRANK WARBURTON: This next match is set for one fall, and is your LOSER LEAVES NAPW match!
The crowd (especially the male portion) explode!
FRANK WARBURTON: Coming to the ring first...
"Good To Your Earhole" by Funkadelic pumps through the speakers and the crowd show the love!
FRANK WARBURTON: Hailing from Edmonton, Alberta and weighing in at one-hundred and twenty-five pounds... she is a former NAPW Women's Champion and is the SWEET TREAT THAT CAN'T BE BEAT! THIS IS "WHITE CHOCOLATE~" TIFFANY MACINTYRE!
Tiffany steps out from behind the curtain to a huge ovation, and makes a beeline down towards the ring. No smiles tonight as she looks all business, and that business is kickin' someone's ass! Tiffany climbs into the ring, quickly acknowledges the fans and stands in a neutral corner.
"No Sleep Tonight" by The Faders replaces the fun on the speakers and the boos rumble through the building.
FRANK WARBURTON: And her opponent, she hails from Staten Island, New York and weighs in at one-hundred and twenty pounds... she has been known as BUBBLES, as LADY SPARKS, tonight --- THIS IS HARMONY MONROE!
Harmony steps out from the back and smirks at Tiffany in the ring. She saunters down to the ring as the fans along the guardrails give her Hell. The camera zooms in on a fan holding a sign that reads "the REAL STD in NAPW ~ Harmony!!!"
BILL HEWSON: These women are burning holes in each other with their glares. It's repulsive what Harmony has done to Tiffany over the last few weeks!
JACK JONES: Plus she changes names like I change underwear.
BILL HEWSON: No comment.
Harmony steps into the ring and gives Tiffany a snarky smile.
DING DING DING
Frank beats a retreat from the ring and referee Morgan Smythe calls for the bell! Harmony starts talking trash to Tiffany, taking a step foreword with every word. Tiffany has heard enough and catches a shocked Harmony with a running shoulder tackle to the mat! Tiffany has mounted Harmony and is throwing the forearm shots for all she's worth. Harmony manages to roll Tiffany over and the roles are reversed as now it's Harmony who is throwing the forearm shivers with authority! Tiffany shoves off Harmony and both women scramble to their feet. Forearm shot from Tiffany staggers Harmony. Kick to the gut doubles over the former "Bubbles!" Harmony is whipped into the ropes but Tiffany drops her head a second to early. Harmony puts on the breaks and hooks the arms of the doubled over Tiffany. Double underhook suplex! Harmony floats over into a cover but Tiffany kicks out before the referee can even get to the mat to start his count!
BIL HEWSON: Tiffany needs to keep a clear head and not let her emotions rule this match or Harmony will take her out!
JACK JONES: I could have sworn this was supposed to be a pudding match.
BILL HEWON: Are you even awake during production meetings?
Harmony has pulled Tiffany back to her feet and lands a vicious chop across the chest! A "Woooooooo!" rings through the crowd! Another chop and Tiffany is leaning against the ropes for support. Harmony whips Tiffany off the ropes but it's reversed! High back drop from Tiffany! Harmony scrambles back to her feet only to take a drop kick to the face that sends her back to the mat. Tiffany goes for a second rope springboard moonsault but Harmony gets her knees up in the nick of time! Tiffany catches nothing but knees to the ribs and rolls away trying to catch her breath. Harmony is back up and pulls Tiffany to her feet. Forearm shot to the head by Harmony. Tiffany tries to shove away Harmony but takes another stiff forearm shot for her trouble. A scoop and a slam from Harmony puts Tiffany laying prone on the mat.
BILL HEWSON: Harmony has gained total control of this match! Could this be the last night we see Tiffany MacIntyre in an NAPW ring?
Harmony pulls Tiffany to her feet and throws her through the ropes and down to the floor. The crowd is hot but Harmony can't resist blowing them a kiss that only raises the heat for her. Harmony rolls to the outside and catches a kick to the gut from Tiffany! Tiffany drags herself up to her feet and lands a forearm shot the Harmony that stuns her! Hip toss onto the floor from Tiffany! Harmony is laying on the floor, teeth clenched in pain from landing on the concrete and Tiffany advances on her. Tiffany reaches down to pull Harmony up but takes a thumb to the eye! Harmony slowly gets to her feet and grabs a double handful of hair and slams the head of Tiffany against the ring apron! Harmony rolls in and then out of the ring to break the count and then pulls a camera cable off of the floor. Before Tiffany can react, she finds herself being choked with a camera cable by Harmony!
BILL HEWSON: Come on Ref! This isn't a No DQ match!
JACK JONES: But it SHOULD be a pudding match agreed?
BILL HEWSON: Aren't you supposed to be electrocuted in these matches... never mind.
Referee Morgan Smythe is now on the outside and manages to get Harmony to stop with the blatant choke. Harmony rolls Tiffany back into the ring, sneers at the referee and rolls into the squared circle herself. Tiffany is on her knees as Harmony advances on her and unloads with a right hand to the gut! Another right hand doubles over Harmony! Tiffany is fighting back to her feet throwing hard right hands as if her life depended on it! Harmony rakes the face and Tiffany is stopped dead in her tracks. Whip into the ropes by Harmony. Tiffany springs off the ropes and drops harmony with a Thesz press! A trio of well placed right hands later and Tiffany pulls off a dazed Harmony. Tiffany rolls out to the ring apron, gets to her feet and watches as Harmony gets to a vertical base. Spingboard seated senton from Tiffany! The referee is down in a flash as Tiffany hooks the far leg!
One!
Two!
Harmony kicks out!
BILL HEWSON: Tiffany is back in this thing! She's not going to let Harmony get away with her despicable behavior!
Tiffany pulls Harmony up to her feet and takes a knee into the mid section! Harmony quickly scoops up Tiffany and hits a foreword falling slam! Harmony is all smiles as she pulls Tiffany to her feet and snaps off a picture perfect suplex! Harmony floats over and goes for a cover herself.
One!
Two!
Tiffany kicks out!
Harmony is starting to look frustrated as she drags Tiffany up to her feet. A whip into the ropes and a side slam from the former "Lady Sparks" seems to have knocked Tiffany out cold! Another cover!
One!
Two!
Tiffany gets a shoulder up!
BILL HEWSON: Both women are literally fighting for their careers here tonight!
JACK JONES: This match reminds me of my last marriage.
BILL HEWSON: Please don't elaborate.
Harmony pulls Tiffany up and whips her hard back first into the far corner. Harmony charges in and takes a back elbow to the face! Tiffany pulls herself up to the second rope and connects with a flying head scissors! Harmony is back up on spaghetti legs and Tiffany rushes past her, hits the ropes and nails a Tajiri like back handspring into an elbow smash! Tiffany covers and the referee makes the count!
One!
Two!
Thr-NO!!
Harmony gets a shoulder up at the last possible second! Now it's Tiffany who looks frustrated. Tiffany gets to her feet and starts to pull Harmony up when from nowhere she's hit with the "Harmony Cutter!" Both women lay on the mat motionless as the referee starts his count!
One!
Two!
Three!
Four!
The crowd stomp their feet and clap their hands for Tiffany who hasn't moved since being hit with the cutter!
Five!
Six!
Seven!
Harmony rolls over and drapes an arm across Tiffany!
One!
Two!
Thr-NO!!!
The crowd pops huge as Tiffany gets up a shoulder!
BILL HEWSON: These women are stealing the show here tonight Jack!
JACK JONES: Can't argue with that! Shame that one of them will be leaving NAPW after this match is done!
BILL HEWSON: So you HAVE been paying attention!
JACK JONES: Eh.
Both women are slow to get to their feet but it's Harmony who goes for the kill first. Harmony goes for another cutter but is shoved off and into the ropes. Hurricanrana from Tiffany! Harmony rolls through and has amazingly gotten quickly back to her feet just as Tiffany comes off the ropes at her. Discus clothesline from Harmony nearly decapitates Tiffany! Harmony simply falls across the prone body of Tiffany as the referee makes the count.
One!
Two!
Tiffany kicks out!
Harmony looks at the referee and questions the count. The crowd start up with a "Tiffany! Tiffany!" chant that looks to irritate the Hell out of Harmony. Harmony pulls Tiffany up and shoots her into the far corner. It's reversed and Harmony slams into the turnbuckle chest first! Tiffany wastes no time in hooking the head of Harmony and starts to scale up the turnbuckles. Sliced Bread #2! Harmony and Tiffany are both laying on the mat sucking air and it's Tiffany who shows she has more gas left in the tank as she pulls herself up to her feet! Harmony is slowly getting up, her legs wobbly and her eyes glazed over. Tiffany comes off the ropes ---
FUNKY 70s BIG BOOT!
Tiffany drops on top of Harmony as the referee counts!
One!
Two!
Three!
The crowd explodes as the referee calls for the bell!
FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of the match..."WHITE CHOCOLATE" TIFFANY MacINTYRE!
BILL HEWSON: It's over! Tiffany has just won this very personal war!
JACK JONES: It's back to the IHOP bussing tables for Harmony! She's outta here!
The referee raises the arm of Tiffany (who's sporting a bloody nose) and she rolls out of the ring. She walks over to a group of ringside fans and gives them a big group hug. Back inside the ring Harmony has gotten to her feet and still looks out of it.
BILL HEWSON: Despite a long career here in NAPW, it's come to an end tonight at the hands of Tiffany! What a match!
JACK JONES: I liked it! Even though there was no pudding I liked it!
Tiffany is with the fans as Harmony rolls out of the ring. The singing begins immediately, no doubt started by Tiffany.
"NA NA NA NA, NA NA NA NA, HEY HEY HEY, GOOD-BYE!!!!"
Harmony looks close to tears as she covers her ears and walks away from the ring and NAPW for good. The war between White Chocolate and Lady Harmony Bubbles Sparks Monroe is OVER --- FINISHED.
JACK JONES: ...and that's why I receive royalty checks from Dancing With the Stars.
BILL HEWSON: Never would have guessed.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, it is NOW TIME for the finals of the 2008 Canada Cup tournament! The following contest is scheduled for one fall with NO TIME LIMIT. The winner of the contest will be crowned the 200 CANADA CUP CHAMPION and will have earned a title shot against the World Heavyweight Champion, KRENSHOV, at SOLE SURVIVOR! Now, introducing the participants...
"Seasons in the Abyss" by Slayer cues up.
"Razors edge...
Outlines the dead...
Incisions in my head...
Anticipation the stimulation...
To kill the exhilaration..."
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first... from San Antonio, Texas, weighing two-hundred and eighty pounds... having defeated HATEWORK and SEAMUS O'CONNOR... Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... "THE ORIGINAL LEGEND" THE OUTLAW!
Accompanied by Jack Stanz, The Outlaw makes way way down the aisle, staring out at the booing fans, seemingly not affected in the least by their jeers and taunts. Stanz steals a sign that says "OUTLAW THE OUTLAW" and another that says "DEATHROW NEXT WORLD CHAMP" and places one over the other so it says "OUTLAW NEXT WORLD CHAMP." He shows it off proudly to the two kids before throwing it on the ground. The Outlaw rolls into the ring and begins stretching against the ropes.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent...
"Follow me, don't follow me...
I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush..."
FRANK WARBURTON: From St. Paul, Minnesota, weighing two-hundred and fifty-four pounds... having defeated TRENT DANIELS and JER$EY... Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... "SUPERSTAR" TOMMY DEATHROW!
Deathrow, his eyebrow and forehead still covered in blood from earlier, makes his way through the curtains to a favorable, yet slightly mixed reaction. The crowd is not sure what to do with the encounter with Kryenik earlier... although they aren't confused about their feelings towards Outlaw (hint: HATE!). Trent Daniels is nowhere to be seen. He seems focused on the match at hand, not paying his usual favor to the fans. He nods at a few holding signs in his honor and slaps a young kid's hand, but his eyes are focused on his opponent. He stops for a moment admiring the huge Canada Cup trophy at ringside, then enters the ring.
DING DING DING!
The Outlaw and Deathrow and circling each other. Tommy's cut on the top of his head is still dripping blood but he's doing his best to wipe it away before it gets in his eyes. The Outlaw appears to be in better shape, though his cheek is swollen. STD rubs his nipples, lock-up! The Outlaw uses his size advantage to power through into a side headlock, though it's quickly broken by an elbow. STD off of the ropes, ducks a clothesline from The Outlaw, off of the opposite ropes. Outlaw with a big boot, grabbed by STD! He trips out the other leg and The Outlaw falls to the ground. STD with an elbow to the inner leg of Outlaw. Now he's applying a kneelock to the only man standing between him, the Canada Cup and his FIRST world title match in his three years in NAPW!
JACK JONES: My god... is that a kneelock from Tommy Deathrow?
BILL HEWSON: Sound strategy on the part of the Superstar if you ask me. He's clearly in worse shape after his match against Jer$ey. His face is busted open. The only way he equalizes things is to wear down his opponent.
JACK JONES: How does someone wear down The Original Legend?
BILL HEWSON: Not sure, but Tommy's going to try!
JACK JONES: Tommy Deathrow in a World Title Match? We might as well just change our name to REBEL!
Deathrow cinching the kneelock... but The Outlaw gouges the eye of the former tag champ, forcing him to break the hold. The Outlaw is slowly getting to his feet. So is Tommy. Another lock-up. Outlaw fires with a big knee to the gut of STD. Now he's got the side headlock applied. Tommy backs him up into the corner HARD! The Outlaw forced to break the hold and STD is ramming his shoulder into the six pack of the undefeated NAPW newcomer! Again! AGAIN! He grabs him by the arm and he whips him across the ring... reversed! STD hits the corner hard, stumbles forward, running lariat from The Outlaw! Now he's looking out at the fans with a smug look on his face, walking slowly towards his prey.
YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!
The Outlaw is jamming his boot into Deathrow's forehead, opening the wound back up! And a big stomp to the head! The STD blood (pun!) is running down his face. Outlaw picking up STD... big side suplex! He's back to his feet. Drops an elbow across the forehead once. Back to his feet... a second elbow! He pulls STD up, off of the ropes. STD ducks the clothesline! STD off of the other ropes... hiptoss from Outlaw. STD gets to his feet... only to be hiptossed a second time! And a big boot across the forehead of Deathrow. Now The Original Legend is motioning around his waist, telling the fans he will be World Champ someday. Now, the fans hate KRENSHOV, no doubt, but they boo like crazy---they don't want him with the strap either!
Now The Outlaw is digging his fingers and nails into the forehead of STD, further opening the wound. He picks up STD... rams his head into the turnbuckle once... twice. Three times! STD is stumbling around, clearly in a fog. Outlaw with a big headbutt that sends him to the ground... but almost as quickly he is back to his feet!
STD! STD! STD! STD STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD!
BILL HEWSON: Tommy has won over the fans again!
JACK JONES: They're so fickle. Me? Always hated him. Consistency and authenticity, Billy boy, that's me.
Another headbutt and STD is down... but back up again! The fans cheer like crazy... until The Outlaw gives Tommy an overhead belly-to-belly! NO! Tommy lands on his FEET! SWINGING NECKBREAKER TO THE OUTLAW!
STD! STD! STD! STD STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD!
The Outlaw is holding his neck, squirming on the ground as STD gets to his feet. He's wiping the blood and sweat from his face and eyes, trying to regroup himself. John Sharplin is checking on The Outlaw which gives Jack Stanz enough time to pull on the ankle of STD, sending his forehead slamming into the MAT! So much for regrouping! Now The Outlaw is getting to his feet. He smirks to Stanz then pulls STD up off the ground. He hooks his arms... he's going for a Tiger Suplex!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
He lifts him... HOLY MOLY! STD flips and lands on his feet... AGAIN! AGAIN! INVERTED STDDT! STD is giving the middle finger to Jack Stanz, saying something about what he'll do to him if he interferes again, something involving lubricant, a goat and peanut butter... strange. Now it's time for... TNT! The crowd cheers like crazy, though a pan of the cameras reveal some cringing too. There's just something... unsettling about that move.
JACK JONES: I make a point of not eating thirty minutes before a STD match.
BILL HEWSON: There's a bag of Cheetos next to you.
JACK JONES: Nope, just cheese-flavored Pepto Bismal.
Now STD is going back to wearing down his opponent with a camel clutch. Stanz jumps up on the ring apron, yelling instructions to The Outlaw but Sharplin waves him away, pointing to the timekeeper's table as a warning. Stanz jumps back down, looking unpleased. Meanwhile, STD is really pulling back on the head and neck of STD with the camel clutch, gritting his teeth, ignoring the blood as it rolls down his face. The referee is asking The Outlaw if he wants to relent but he doesn't seem to be considering it. He's, he's... slowly getting to his feet! But STD is holding on! STD turns it into a sleeper! He's up on the big man's shoulders, wrenching him with the sleeper. He's worked on his knee, his neck, now he's working on his lungs.
STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD!
The Outlaw is struggling to remain on his feet. Finally he gets the energy to run back into the corner, slamming Deathrow's lower back into it. Tommy falls off while The Outlaw leans on the ropes, getting the oxygen back in his lungs. Tommy is holding his back, gritting his teeth, but sees that The Outlaw is winded. He runs at him... but The Outlaw back body drops him over the top rope! What a trick!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sharplin is warning Stanz not to interfere, but is not starting a count as The Outlaw goes to the outside. Seems like he's being a little forgiving since the match is for the coveted Canada Cup. The Outlaw picks up STD as he is standing and throws his head into the corner of the ring apron... And again! MONEY MAKER ON THE OUTSIDE! STD is CRIMSON!
STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD!
Now The Outlaw is stomping away on the forehead, continuing to work on it. He picks up the multi-time tag champ and rolls him into the ring. Cover! Tommy's eyes are closed!
One!
Two!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Three!---NO!
KICKOUT!
STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD!
The Outlaw looks in shock that a cutter on the outside to an already-bloody and worn Deathrow wasn't enough to put him away. He's back to his feet, hoisting STD up on his shoulders! Time for WEST TEXAS RAIN!
NO! STD elbows the side of The Outlaw's head, crawls down his back... SUNSET FLIP!
ONE!
TWO!
TH---KICKOUT!
The Outlaw is pissed! He gets to his feet as STD tries to and is hammering him with punch after punch. STD now backed into the corner, on the receiving end of rights and lefts. Irish whip across the ring! STD flips in mid-air, hitting the buckles with his back and falls flat on the mat. Outlaw picking him up... West Texas Rain again! He has him up on his shoulders!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
But Deathrow is fighting again! He---he---he just BIT the HEAD of the OUTLAW! He jumps off of The Outlaw's shoulders. The Outlaw grabbing the top of his head, checking to see if STD pierced his skin, worried about what diseases he may have just acquired, turns around... STD with a European uppercut. A kick to the gut. Another. Headbutt. Headbutt! STD spins around... puts him in a REVERSE CRUCIFIX! TOMMYHAWK! TOMMYHAWK!
LATERAL PRESS!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
NO!
NO!
KICKOUT!
Tommy gets to his feet quickly. Wipes the blood from his eyes and is delivering big boots to his opponent. The Outlaw is slowly standing. Tommy throws his head in between his legs, gyrates his hips a bit, then hoists him up! TOMINATOR TIME! NO! The Outlaw is too damn big! He starts hammering Tommy, then hooks him up for a T-BONE SUPLEX!
BILL HEWSON: My God... did I just see Tommy Deathrow's neck break?
JACK JONES: Don't you dare knock on any wood.
The Outlaw slowly crawls over and drapes an arm over STD.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE---NO!
NO!
KICKOUT!
The fans cheer madly as they see the incredible resilience on the part of Deathrow. He just is not willing to allow himself to be pinned. The Outlaw looks outside the ring to Stanz for counsel but his manager seems just as confused. Both the Outlaw and Deathrow are slow to get to their feet. Finally, they both stand and charge each other. Double clothesline! Both men are down!
BILL HEWSON: This match is EPIC! Both of these men want that cup and that title shot desperately!
They are both crawling to their feet. Looks like Outlaw is up first. He charges STD. Atomic STDrop! Off of the ropes... kneelift to the Original Legend! The Outlaw scrambling to his feet... only to find STD grabbing his head and putting it in between his legs.
DEATHROW DRIVER!
DEATHROW DRIVER!
COVER!
ONE!
STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD!
"TWO!" the fans shout, waiting in anticipation.
STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD!
"THREE" they shout!
But Sharplin's hand doesn't hit the mat a third time. Deathrow looks back. STANZ PULLED SHARPLIN OUT OF THE RING!
JACK JONES: OH THANK YOU SWEET LORD!
BILL HEWSON: NOBODY kicks out of the DEATHROW DRIVER... Jack Stanz just saved the match for his man! Dammit!
Deathrow stands up, a look of hatred in his eyes. He leaves the ring and is stalking Stanz who is waving his arms frantically, begging for mercy. STD puts his hands down his pants, inhales a mighty whiff of his fingers... SWEATY BALL CLAW TO STANZ!
Sharplin is on the ground, trying to pull himself together, he took a bad bump on the concrete and is holding his knee. The Outlaw is moving, albeit very slowly. He hears the fans cheering and looks around, wondering if he lost. But he sees Sharplin on the outside. And he sees STD with his sweaty, oily fingers splaying his manager's face. He crawls over to the ropes, then uses them to pull himself up. He climbs between the ropes. He grabs a chair from over the guard rail, folds it up.
CRACK!
Right across the back of Deathrow! STD releases the hold, turns around... only to be hit again... this time across the forehead! The Outlaw picks up STD and rolls him into the ring. He picks up Sharplin who says he is okay. They both get in the ring, Sharplin limping.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The Outlaw hoists STD up for West Texas Rain!
BILL HEWSON: I hate that it is going to end like this.
HOLY MOLY! HOLY MOLY! STD REVERSES INTO A TORNADO STDDT! TORNADO STDDT!
STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD!
Both men lying on their backs, eyes closed, trying to get some oxygen and blood pumping. Finally, STD drapes an arm...
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
NO!
NO!
OUTLAW KICKS OUT!
STD using the ropes to get to his feet. Sharplin is checking on Outlaw. WAIT A MINUTE! JACK STANZ WITH A LOW BLOW TO TOMMY FROM THE RING APRON!
Sharplin looks over but Stanz has dropped to the floor and is denying any involvement. The Outlaw getting to his feet. He hoists STD up. WEST TEXAS RAIN!
This time it's successful! COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
The Outlaw has done it!
FRANK WARBURTON: Your winner... and the winner of the 2009 Canada Cup... "THE ORIGINAL LEGEND"... THE OUTLAW!
BILL HEWSON: It took the aid of Jack Stanz, but The Outlaw is the 2009 Canada Cup winner. A disgraceful finish, but nonetheless, he'll go on to face KRENSHOV at Sole Survivor.
JACK JONES: Oh, please. You're so biased. So a steel chair was used to help out The Outlaw. May I remind you that Tommy Deathrow used his BALL SWEAT? Not to mention his TEETH! For crying out loud.... it's Tommy Deathrow's GERMS! GERMS!
Jack Stanz enters the ring, hugging The Outlaw as Sharplin raises his arm in victory. STD rolls to the outside, holding his bloody head, listening as the fans boo and hiss The Outlaw. The Outlaw raises the huge trophy up in the air as empty cups and assorted trash pelt the ring.
YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!
The Outlaw nods at the fans, seemingly enjoying their displeasure at him getting a world title shot and the Canada Cup. Stanz holds the trophy for The Outlaw as he exits the ring, ignoring the garbage being thrown at him.
After he leaves through the curtain, Tommy Deathrow gets to his feet and begins leaving the ring. The fans stop jeering and begin clapping for STD, showing them their appreciation for giving it his all and putting on not one, but TWO, incredible matches.
STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD! STD
Deathrow looks out with cold eyes to the fans but nods in appreciation before leaving through the curtain. Just where is THE SUPERSTAR's mind...
-INTERMISSION #2-
The crowd is buzzing as the cage has been set it up! It is like a HELL IN A CELL, space outside the ring to brawl, a roof... ONE RING WAR GAMES. The crowd is amped up for this one as the ring crew put the finishing touches on the structure.
BILL HEWSON: We are just moments away from our huge main event here tonight in Edmonton, it will be WAR GAMES. Three teams will enter the cage, the only way to win the match is force an opponent to submit or say "I Quit."
JACK JONES: There are no rules inside that cage, only WAR. Hence, you know. WAR GAMES.
BILL HEWSON: For the better part of the past six months, these three factions have brought chaos and destruction to NAPW. Their wars have pushed NAPW to the breaking point, and now, tonight... it will all come to a head. DIRTY MONEY... FACES OF D!EATH... III. Tonight, these factions will seek to settle their issues once and for all! Jack Attack?
JACK JONES: Well it's no secret that each one of these units believes they are the best. First, you have DIRTY MONEY of Krusty Kid Paul, Chris Casino & Evan Cartwright. These three absolutely dominated the 2008 Awards, and dominated the tag and world title scenes all last fall! No doubt the most cohesive, together group in the match tonight, but recently they've started a losing skid. But of course, that only gives the Money squad more motivation to come out the victors tonight.
BILL HEWSON: And then, of course, the fan's choice, the squad of III...
JACK JONES: Bruce "The Beast" Richards, "The Ego Buster" Dan Ryan, "LDK Lloyd Rees. Well, I don't know if III have succeeded like they planned to. In fact, I'm not even sure they're on the same page. All three men have the goal to "clean up" NAPW, but Bruce Richards disagrees with his partners on the METHODS... Ryan is quite content to use the tactics of their opponents, and Rees is caught in the middle. And with Bruce Richards winning the tag titles last week with Kryenik, well... Frankly, III better hope their power advantage can come into play, because as far as teamwork goes, they are going to come up short.
BILL HEWSON: Which brings us to the most unlikely team of all, the Faces of D!eath...
JACK JONES: I never thought I'd see the day when D! and Ravager teamed up again, but that's exactly what we have here, and throw in the CURRENT NAPW World Champion in KRENSHOV, you have something unexpected, but altogether dangerous. These three men seem to be on the same page, and if they don't have the brotherhood that Dirty Money do, they do have the element of surprise --- nobody knows what to expect from these three here tonight. Well, other than violence.
BILL HEWSON: Nine former and current World Champions in this match tonight, one of the most star-studded matches in NAPW history... and I think we are finally ready to get this going! Let's go to Frank!
FRANK WARBURTON: Edmonton Alberta, it is time for your main event... WAR GAMES! The rules are as follows: Two men will enter the match to start. After five minutes, a new man will enter the match. Every two minutes thereafter, a new wrestler will enter until all nine men are inside the cage! ONLY when all nine men are in can the match end... the only way to win is to force an opponent to SUBMIT or say I QUIT! The order of entrance has been determined at random. The stipulations? For the winning team, each member will receive a shot at ANY NAPW title. For the losing team... all three members will be barred from entering this year's Sole Survivor match! And now, introducing the man who drew #1...
"IT'S JUST LIKE THE OCEAN! UNDER THE MOON!"
FRANK WARBURTON: From Las Vegas, Nevada, representing DIRTY MONEY... CHRIS CASINO!
BILL HEWSON: Casino had said he WANTED to start #1, and it looks like he got what he wanted!
JACK JONES: Chris Casino ALWAYS gets what he wants!
BILL HEWSON: Still, this puts Dirty Money at a disadvantage. One of their members will be in this match from bell to bell, wheras the other stables have the chance to have each member come in later.
JACK JONES: Well, let's find out who picked #2...
Lights dim.
"When The Lights Go Out."
The crowd stomps along to the rhythmic, raw beats of THE BLACK KEYS, and begin to chant as the wild-bearded man steps through the curtain...
FRANK WARBURTON: From Wabana, Bell Island, Newfoundland, representing "III"... "LDK" LLOYD REES!
BILL HEWSON: Oh my goodness, REES! One of NAPW's greatest rivalries... and for five minutes, it will be Rees versus Casino! This match is going to start with a bang, Jack Attack.
JACK JONES: And that means that the Faces of D!eath get the luck of the draw, they don't have a member in for the first five minutes! Heck, they could get lucky and get the seven, eight, AND nine draws!
BILL HEWSON: Stranger things have happened. Rees is inside the cell now, the door being locked behind him. Casino is in the ring. And we... are... READY!
Referees John Sharplin and Anthony Uruburu are inside the cage with the wrestlers, Morgan Smythe and Dick Kiebiech on the outside. Head referee John Sharplin calls for the bell...
DING DING DING
Casino and Rees meet in the center ring. Casino, wearing his classic smarmy grin, offers a handshake to Rees. Rees, wild-eyed, looks out to the fans as if to say "you've got to be kidding." Sorry, from Rees that would be: "Ya've got t'be kiddin', byes!" Casino grins broader, trying to convince Rees he's on the up and up. Rees shrugs, accepts the handshake... Casino with a cheap shot --- Rees ducks.
But doesn't let go of Casino's hands, and suddenly Chris on his knees in pain, Rees crushing the hand in his! Casino tries to pry Rees' fingers off, finally Rees kicks Casino away to a chorus of "REES! REES! REES!" chants from the crowd. Casino gets up, shaking his throbbing hand in pain. He pouts, keeping his distance from Rees. They circle, collar and elbow tie-up... Casino sidesteps and goes to the corner, tapping the side of his head and posing.
BILL HEWSON: Is Casino planning to wrestle, or just stall for time?
JACK JONES: Hey, the less work Casino does NOW, the more gas he'll have left in the tank LATER in this match.
BILL HEWSON: Well, it's a sound strategy, but hardly entertaining for these fans --- they want blood!
JACK JONES: It's about winning, not entertaining the rubes!
Casino has succeeded in killing off a good minute here already, another tie-up, another sidestep by Casino. He exits the ring and does a lap at a light jog, pumping his fists in victory. Rees looks agitated, as has been the case recently. Rees wants nothing more than to get some aggression out, and he'd be quite content to take it out on his old enemy Chris Casino. Chris finally rolls back into the ring. He tells Rees, okay, this time for real... they circle. Tie-up. Casino side-steps.
"SMARTER THAN YOU---"
REES WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX LIKE SO MUCH LUGGAGE! Casino pops up, clawing at the air for something to stablize him. Rees takes Casino's arm out of the way and
CHOP
Lights him up. Casino weezes, holding his chest and staggering to the next corner. Rees follows, again sets Casino up, CHOP! Geez that is HARD. Casino stumbles away, Rees not letting him recover. Casino tries to plead, Rees slings the arm over the top rope, exposing the chest. The crowd is chanting:
"HARDER! HARDER! HARDER!"
And Rees obliges.
*THWACK*
This time Casino stumbles to the center of the ring, holding his reddening chest in his hands, on his knees. He groans in pain, breathing through gritted teeth, as Rees comes in and pulls Casino up by the hair. He hooks a front-face lock, snap suplexes Casino out of his boots. Casino gets up quickly, Rees is there with a back suplex --- Casino flips out from behind! He nails a forearm to the back of Rees, then whips Rees to the ropes. DROPKICK ---
Rees holds on and Casino's kick cuts through air and Casino lands on his back, all the wind exiting his lungs. Rees steps in, grapevines the legs, and turns Casino over into the LANCE COVE LEGLOCK!
BILL HEWSON: All the way from LANCE COVE!
JACK JONES: What is he doing, he can't win the match now! Submissions only count when all three teams are in the cage!
BILL HEWSON: You're right, Jack Attack, Rees can't win right now... but he CAN incapacitate Casino for the entire match!
Rees looks prepared to do just that, cinching back as Casino clutches for the ropes. Wait, are rope breaks even legal inside the cage? Somebody get on that! Casino crawls... crawls...
He makes the ropes!
And, well, John Sharplin just shrugs. What is he going to do, disqualify him? THIS IS WAR GAMES! Rees walks Casino back into the center ring and cinches the hold on even tighter, Casino is TAPPING OUT now, but it does no good! Rees is a sadistic bastard!
FRANK WARBURTON: TEN SECONDS!
The crowd counts down!
NINE!
EIGHT!
SEVEN!
SIX!
FIVE!
FOUR!
THREE!
TWO!
ONE!
BILL HEWSON: Who's it going to be?
JACK JONES: Come on, Evan or KKP --- oh no!
BILL HEWSON: Here comes D! Faces of D!eath are in the match!
The crowd boos as D! springs to the ring, through the opened cage door (closed behind him by Kiebiech), and into the ring... Rees sees him coming, and D!...
signals to Rees to keep doing what he's doing, to the howling dismay of Chris Casino. D! slides down in a corner, relaxing against the bottom rope, watching as Rees torments Casino! Sharplin looks like he's concerned, Casino isn't going to be much good! Rees cinches back again ---
D! WITH A DROPKICK to the back of Rees' head, knocking him off Casino, who thanks mericiful God for D!. The one and only time he'll ever be happy to see D!, but hey. D! mockingly rolls Casino out of the ring, then turns around --- INTO A REES CHARGE --- no! D! dives between Rees legs and comes up, "accidentally" catching Rees in the goolies as he does. Rees goes knock-kneed as D! grabs him from behind and delivers a kneebreaker. Dragon Screw Leg Whip to follow up! Rees gets to his feet, another Dragon Screw!
Casino has crawled back into the ring as D! stalks Rees, who continues to get up. Another Dragon Screw, Rees fights his way off, elbows D! away
CASINO SUPERKICK!
Rees goes down, Casino holds his back and drops to one knee. He glares at D!.
D! glares at Casino.
And then both men turn to glare at Lloyd Rees.
BILL HEWSON: You've got to be kidding me --- D! and Chris Casino working TOGETHER?
Casino and D! each grab a leg of Rees and make a wish. Oooh. Casino's back is no doubt on fire, he keeps holding it after each move. D! picks Rees up and yells to Casino. DOUBLE SUPLEX! D! and Casino high-five and then each hit a turnbuckle to pose. Geez. Could these guys have any bigger egos?
D! pulls Rees up, Rees fights off, knee to the gut cuts off that comeback. D! whips Rees into Casino's clothesline. D! drops an elbow. Another! ANOTHER! Elbow, elbow, elbow. Six or seven elbow drops later, and D! preens to the crowd. Casino grabs Rees legs and stomps him right in the nuts. D! with a boot to the head.
BILL HEWSON: And Lloyd Rees is being dissected by D! and Chris Casino... this is not looking good!
Casino and Rees put a double choke on Rees, double boots on Rees' throat, as Frank announces ten seconds!
NINE!
EIGHT!
SEVEN!
SIX!
FIVE!
FOUR!
THREE!
TWO!
ONE!
...
BILL HEWSON: DAN RYAN!
JACK JONES: OH, CRAP.
The crowd ERUPTS as "The Ego Buster" storms to the ring. He gets in, Casino charges --- KNOCKED DOWN! D! comes in for the attack --- gets the business end of Dan Ryan's right hand! Casino... GETS A BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! D! GETS ONE TOO! DAN RYAN IS CLEANING HOUSE! D! rolls outside as Ryan follows. In the ring, Casino gets up, turns around, Rees nails him with a clothesline that sends Casino outside!
D! trying to get away from Dan Ryan, Ryan calmly stalks his prey. Casino is doing the same... Casino and D! bump into each other, back to back! Two sets of eyes grow wide as Ryan and Rees each sweep a man's legs... what's this? DOUBLE CATAPULTS INTO THE STEEL! D! and Casino stumble out, Ryan violently shoves D! back in as Rees takes Casino down with a DDT on the concrete! Dan Ryan taking D!'s face and raking it back and forth in the steel mesh, D! has been lacerated...
BILL HEWSON: First blood goes to III, but I doubt that is the only crimson we will see spilled inside this steel!
JACK JONES: They don't call it War Games for nothing!
Dan Ryan picks D! up in a powerslam, ramming him into the steel mesh, holding on, and doing it again. And again, finally dropping D! in a heap as Rees whips Casino hard into the steel cage! D! is unceremoniously bundled into the ring by Ryan. "The Ego Buster" gets in and paintbrushes a beaten up D! before delivering a sick German Suplex that folds D! in half! Ryan stands and holds up three fingers, drawing chants of "III! III! III!" Rees is busy ramming Casino's head into the concrete angrily. Ryan waits for D! to get up... waits...
TEN SECONDS!
NINE!
EIGHT!
SEVEN!
SIX!
FIVE!
FOUR!
THREE!
TWO!
ONE!
...
And the crowd erupts in boos as the newly blonde RAVAGER storms out of the curtain. In the ring, Dan Ryan is setting D! up for the Humility Bomb as Ravager runs to the cage and in, bearing a steel chair in his hand! Ryan has D! bent over, ready to hoist him, RAVAGER HUCKS THE CHAIR AT RYAN! CLANG! Ryan doesn't go down, but Ravager goes quickly to the top rope (!) and dives off with a flying Roaring Elbow to "The Ego Buster!" Ravager picks the chair up, Rees is getting in the ring, KERANG! Rees spills back to the floor! Casino is down outside, now so is Rees, as Ravager waits for Dan Ryan to get back up...
WHANG!
Huge chair shot to the back of Dan Ryan! Ravager hasn't forgotten losing to Ryan in their first-ever singles meeting, and with that in mind he puts the chair on the canvas and delivers a DDT! Ryan's head spikes into the chair.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
BILL HEWSON: Ravager with the equalizer, that steel chair, and now the momentum swings in the direction of the Faces of D!eath!
JACK JONES: And their partner, Steel Chair!
Dan Ryan... YES, IS BUSTED OPEN. So is Chris Casino, actually, blood staining the concrete where he is trying to recover. And it looks like that chair shot from Ravager also busted open Rees! In the ring, Ravager checks quickly on D!. He then grabs Dan Ryan's arms and pulls them back... oh no.
CURB STOMP ON DAN RYAN --- FACEFIRST INTO THE STEEL CHAIR.
And Dan Ryan, veteran of countless wars, shudders and goes limp.
BILL HEWSON: I hate to say it, because it's despicable, but Ravager had a plan and came into this match-up... and I think he may have just taken Dan Ryan OUT of it.
JACK JONES: When have you not known Ravager to be a master strategist?
BILL HEWSON: I don't deny his ring-smarts, or those of D!, but I didn't expect it to turn this way. And now they have Lloyd Rees and Casino in the ring, the Faces of D!eath looking to decimate the other factions while they have the opportunity!
Indeed, as D! picks up "LDK" and puts him in the TREE OF WOE. Ravager holds the chair in front of LDK's face... BASEMENT DROPKICK TO THE CHAIR TO THE FACE! Oh hell! Rees dangles limply, then falls out of the tree from the impact. That leaves only Chris Casino, the man who has taken the most beating in this match. Dan Ryan has rolled to the ring apron, still out of it. Casino tries to get back out of the ring, grabbed by D!, forearms to the back. D! grins and puts Casino down with a roundhouse punch. Ravager climbs to the top rope...
DIVING HEADBUTT!
TEN!
NINE!
EIGHT!
SEVEN!
SIX!
FIVE!
FOUR!
THREE!
TWO!
ONE!
...
BILL HEWSON: And next in this match... here comes "PERFECTION!"
JACK JONES: Oh man, this is getting out of hand.
BILL HEWSON: Who'd you bet on, anyways?
JACK JONES: You'd make me choose? Face of D!eath, Dirty Money, it's like trying to pick between my two favorite rats!
BILL HEWSON: I'm not even going to touch that one.
JACK JONES: That's what she said, but she did it anyways!
D! and Ravager, standing amongst the bodies, put their attention to Cartwright. Evan, chewing his gum cockily, takes his time coming to the ring. The cage door is opened for him, he stands, hands on his hips, looking in.
BILL HEWSON: The Faces of D!eath are in firm control here, and Evan is understandably reluctant to get in the ring. D! and Ravager are fixing to tear him to pieces as soon as he steps through the cage!
Ravager opens up the now-destroyed steel chair, it still "sits" though (barely). He takes a seat and motions for Evan to come in as D! gleefully stomps at Ryan and Rees in turn. Evan gets into the cage, the door locked behind him. He takes a walk around the ringside, slowly... gauging the situation.
Evan tries to get in, D! takes a swing, but misses as Evan drops back to the floor. D! taunts him as Ravager sits, silent and intimidating. Evan tries to get in, D! again takes a swing and Evan just misses.
BILL HEWSON: I don't see how Evan Cartwright can get in the ring without getting attacked, Jack Attack, unless he plans to just kill two minutes and see who comes out next? But it could be KKP, it could be ANYBODY...
JACK JONES: This is a tough situation, Hewson, but Evan doesn't want to get killed, neither does he want to give up Casino to the wolves!
Evan calls for time-out. Ravager stands up and holds D! back. Evan gets to the ring, he's saying something to Ravager and D!. He points to Ryan... and points to Rees... oh no. Ravager nods, even as D! looks rebellious, and then Evan and Ravager shake hands.
Then, they pick up Lloyd Rees.
BILL HEWSON: What.
JACK JONES: Yes yes yes!
BILL HEWSON: I don't... I don't believe it! We are seeing an ALLIANCE between the Faces of D!eath and Dirty Money! And that means... Rees and Ryan, III, are in a BAD, BAD way!
Rees is held up for all of Dirty Money to take shots at. Evan gets in a good chop, then checks on Casino, who is slowly getting up. D! locks Rees in Pleasant Cycling for giggles and damages. Evan and Casino pick up Dan Ryan... DOUBLE SUPLEX --- Ryan resists! OH MY! RYAN REVERSES! Dirty Money are down! Ryan with a knockdown on Ravager! He kicks D! in the head, getting him off Lloyd Rees! DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE ON THE FACES OF D!EATH!
Dan Ryan is a HOUSEAFAR ---
CASINO STANDING DROPKICK
Ryan doesn't go down ---
ROARING ELBOW from Cartwright!
Ryan is still up!
D! with a ROUNDHOUSE!
WOBBLY!
Ravager with a stiff forearm to the big man, leaping up!
Dan Ryan won't go down...
WHAM
And then the TOTAL ELIMINATION combo from Casino, superkick and leg sweep, finally puts Ryan down! And Evan locks the big man in a CAMEL CLUTCH, making sure to add PELVIC THRUSTS. "BREAK YOUR BACK, MAKE YOU HUMBLE, OLD COUNTRY WAY!" Casino goes up top...
FLYING ELBOW DROP TO THE HEART OF LLOYD REES!
Oh no.
D! WITH A RAMMER JAMMER ELBOW HAMMER!
TO LLOYD REES!
This is looking VERY, VERY bad for III, as Ravager hits the ropes and delivers a DIVING FOREARM to the unprotected face of Dan Ryan in Evan's camel clutch!
The Faces of D!eath and Dirty Money are having their way with III, and the crowd is booing the hell out of them...
TEN SECONDS.
NINE.
EIGHT.
SEVEN.
SIX.
FIVE.
FOUR.
THREE.
TWO.
ONE.
...
The crowd chants "BEAST, BEAST, BEAST, BEAST..."
and then go deathly quiet when the NAPW WORLD CHAMPION steps through the curtain.
BILL HEWSON: Oh... my God. It's KRENSHOV.
JACK JONES: Ladies and gentlemen, the DEATH of III.
KRENSHOV calmly walks to the ring, entering the cage and the ring. Ravager and D! grin. KRENSHOV goes immediately for Dan Ryan, the man who BEAT him for the NAPW World title last spring. He roughly hauls him up and a stiff palm strike to the forehead. Knee-lift, another palm strike, forcing Ryan into a corner. KRENSHOV gets distance and then delivers a SICK running forearm to Ryan, who sags. KRENSHOV picks up Lloyd Rees like a rag doll, and then, NO.
TOTAL ECLIPSE!
D! boots the decimated Rees out of the ring as KRENSHOV roars! The Faces of D!eath and Dirty Money stand tall, arms raised, as the crowd boos, some throwing cups and popcorn (which only hits the cage, stupids). This alliance is going to spell the end for III...
SUPERKICK
From KRENSHOV TO CASINO. Evan crouches for a PERFECT UPPERCUT but is nailed by a run-up enziguri from D! before he can unleash it!
BILL HEWSON: I don't know why I feel surprised, but the Faces of D!eath have just turned on Dirty Money! Only one team can win, and the FoD! hate Dirty Money as much as they hate III --- maybe more!
JACK JONES: All's fair in WAR. And love, they tell me, but I'm not a huge fan of love, you know?
BILL HEWSON: Um...?
JACK JONES: Love's over-rated. That's all I'm saying.
In the ring, Ravager picks up Evan Cartwright and chops him hard, Evan fights back with his Golden Gloves winning fists, but KRENSHOV cuts that off. D! prances around Casino, stomping him all around, before picking his man up and whipping him to the ropes --- SPINEBUSTER! Ravager has Evan in position for a Northern Lights Suplex --- ONTO KRENSHOV'S KNEE!
Ravager sends Evan outside and follows up, throwing Evan into the steel cage. In the ring, D! hooks Chris Casino for a NYQUIL SPIKE --- Casino desperate, hits a low blow to counter! That frees him, but doesn't save him fron KRENSHOV running him over with a running forearm smash. KRENSHOV turns around ---
DAN RYAN SUPERKICK!
BLOCKED!
KRENSHOV SUPERKICK!
DUCKED!
SPINEBUSTER!
But it's D! from behind on Dan Ryan with a dropkick to the back, sending Ryan to the outside. Lloyd Rees however, is back in... SPRINGBOARD ONTO D!
D! moves! Rees impacts, then D! gets behind and delivers the NYQUIL SPIKE. Rees yells in pain and reels on the canvas as KRENSHOV gets to his feet. Casino pulls himself up in the corner...
TEN SECONDS!
BILL HEWSON: There are only two men not in this match! Who will it be?
NINE!
EIGHT!
SEVEN!
SIX!
FIVE!
FOUR!
THREE!
TWO!
ONE!
...
CROWD
HEAD
ASPLODE.
BILL HEWSON: THE BEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSTTTT!
JACK JONES: OH, HELL!
The crowd goes completely OUT OF THEIR GOURD as THE BEAST CHARGES THE CAGE! On the outside Ravager tries to greet him, NO WAY! FUCK YOU RAVAGER! POW! Evan with a shot, NUH-UH! SMASH! The Beast rolls into the ring where immediately D! throws a lariat, ducked, COBRA CLUTCH...
BOMB!
CHRIS CASINO on the attack, The Beast counters and gets a pump-handle... AND THROWS CASINO LITERALLY ACROSS THE RING, Casino skittering to the outside next to Evan and Ravager! HERE COMES KRENSHOV! Big shot to the back of Beast, to the ropes, Bruce reverses, THE BEAST WITH A HUGE SHORT-ARM CLOTHESLINE! That doesn't knock the World Champion down, so The Beast hoists KRENSHOV ONTO HIS SHOULDERS
CHAAAAARRRRRRRTTTT ATTAAAAAAAAACK
NO! KRENSHOV elbows out, hooks Beast, TOTAL ECLIPSE... COUNTERED! ELBOWS! THE BEAST sends KRENSHOV to the ropes, KRENSHOV holds on, BEAST WITH A CLOTHESLINE SENDS KRENSHOV TO THE FLOOR! D! charges from behind, The Beast catches him... GORILLA PRESS!
Casino, Cartwright, Ravager and KRENSHOV look up...
D! GETS TOSSED ONTO THE PILE! THEY ALL GO DOWN!
Dan Ryan and Rees are slowly getting up, both bloodied badly, and then it is only III standing in the ring at this moment! They look at each other... and then out at the crowd, as the chants are deafening!
"III! III! III! III! III! III!"
BILL HEWSON: Dissension? WHAT dissension? III ARE ON THE SAME PAGE!
Chris Casino is rolling back into the ring, as is D!. On the outside, however, Ravager and Evan renew their war... Ravager knocks Evan half UNDER the ring. Lloyd Rees with a DDT from the Green on Chris Casino! The Beast has D!...
CHAAAAAAAAAAARRRRT ATTAAAAAAAAAACK!
The crowd is going crazy, even as KRENSHOV attacks The Beast! Rees sends Casino to the floor, brawling on the cell. Dan Ryan drops a big elbow on D!, then goes to help The Beast against KRENSHOV. The three BIGGEST men in the match all going at it --- what the HELL? Evan Cartwright has pulled a LADDER out from under the ring! What is he... he's setting it up? Ravager nails him from behind! Rees sends Casino into them, but Cartwright surprises Rees with a Sambo Suplex ON THE CONCRETE. Meanwhile, Ravager is seeing what else is under the ring... Oh no, he pulls out a TABLE. Ravager sets it up and splays the near dead Chris Casino on the table. He's climbing... YOU'RE KIDDING. Ravager is climbing the ladder inside the cage, he's going to end Casino ---
CARTWRIGHT ON THE APRON
LEAPS TO THE CAGE! HOLY CRAP! CARTWRIGHT SCALES THE CAGE TOWARDS THE LADDER!
Ravager and Cartwright fighting it out, in a VERY perilous predicament...
HOLY HELL! THEY FALL! CASINO MOVES!
KERAAAAAAASSSSSHHHH!
BILL HEWSON: RAVAGER! CARTWRIGHT! OH MY GOD!
JACK JONES: HOLEEEE HELLLLL!
The crowd chants "HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT" as Casino crawls back into the ring. Rees is doing the same as KRENSHOV tries to fend off both Ryan and Richards... D! jumps on Richards' back, trying to lock in a sleeper hold on the big man. Everybody in the ring begins to brawl...
TEN
NINE!
EIGHT!
SEVEN!
SIX!
FIVE!
FOUR!
THREE!
TWO!
ONE!
...
KRUSTY KID PAUL IS IN THE MATCH! KKP rushes the cage and gets in, wielding a CHAIN wrapped around his right hand! He gets in, meets D! with a POW right hand! Lloyd Rees ---
K-CUTTER!
Bruce Richards!
K-CUTTER!
KRENSHOV charges in, nails Paul, hoists him up for Total Eclipse ---
K-CUTTER ... out of... HOLY! OUT OF NOWHERE KKP TURNED IT INTO THE CUTTER!
DAN RYAN! HUMILITY BOMB...
K-CUTTER OUT OF THAT!
BILL HEWSON: YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! HOW DOES HE DO IT?
JACK JONES: Dirty Money ALWAYS have the luck of the draw, Hewson --- and a K-CUTTER to the top!
BILL HEWSON: Dirty Money is the only group STANDING!
GEEZ! KKP has put III and the standing FoD! members down with a series of K-Cutters! Everybody is down, Evan and Ravager totally out on the outside, Ryan, Richards, Rees, D!, KRENSHOV in the ring. Paulie helps Casino up, holding up his chain-wrapped right fist. Casino smiles through the blood, Dirty Money is now back in control...
WHAM
WHAT
THE
HELL?
JACK JONES: What the NO NO NO NO NO WHAAAAA?
BILL HEWSON: Krusty Kid Paul... KKP JUST... HE JUST DECKED CHRIS CASINO WITH THAT CHAIN-WRAPPED RIGHT HAND! WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON?!
The crowd is stunned. They don't LIKE Chris Casino, but NOBODY saw this coming. Casino slowly gets up, fresh blood streaming down his forehead, as KKP stalks him like a drunken cobra...
K-CUTTER.
TO CHRIS CASINO.
KKP stands tall, full of hate, as the crowd reacts in stunned confusion. KKP looks over the destruction...
And leaves the ring. He yells for Kiebich to open the cage, and a frightened Dick does. KKP exits... and heads to the back, abandoning everybody to the wolves.
The only man who is up... is the only man who didn't get K-Cuttered in the last minute.
D!.
And with a twisted, Joker-esque grin, he SLAPS PLEASANT CYCLING ON THE DOWNED CHRIS CASINO!
BILL HEWSON: Oh. My. God.
JACK JONES: THERE IS NO GOD! DID YOU JUST SEE WHAT HAPPENED? IT'S HORRIBLE!
BILL HEWSON: The match can end now, KKP is in... well, he's out now, but he's... I think Casino may be out, Jack! Sharplin is checking his arm!
The arm falls once.
Sharplin raises it, D! screaming "DIE, PEANUT, DIE!"
It falls a second time.
Sharplin prepares to raise the arm once more... when suddenly he is yanked away.
D!, not hearing the bell, looks around.
Ryan.
Richards.
Rees.
III.
D! only has time to mutter "OH SHIT---" before III kick the crap out of him! Dan Ryan has D!...
HUMILITY BOMB!
The Beast is on the top rope!
DIVING MOONSAULT!
And then... "LDK" LLOYD REES SLAPS ON THE CONCEPTION BAY CHINLOCK IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!
Ravager is out! Casino is out! Cartwright is out!
KRENSHOV...
IS NOT OUT.
The World Champion charges to save the match and his ally! DAN RYAN NAILS HIM WITH THE SUPERKICK! KRENSHOV STAYS UP... ONTO BEAST'S SHOULDERS!
CHAAAAAAAARRRRRRT ATTAAAAAAAAAAAACK!
The World Champion is strong, but that's enough to put him down, he rolls to the floor as D! ...
TAPS THE HELL OUT! THE CROWD ERUPTS!
FRANK WARBURTON: The winners of WAR GAMES... BRUCE RICHARDS! DAN RYAN! LLOYD REES! "III!"
BILL HEWSON: THEY'VE DONE IT! THEY'VE DONE IT! III... WIN... THE WAR!
JACK JONES: No no no no... this is a day, a day that will live in INFAMY.
BILL HEWSON: Faces of D!eath... are OUT of Sole Survivor! KKP... what the hell is going to happen to DIRTY MONEY? And III... HAVE WON THE DAY, AND THE WAR! FOR JACK "ATTACK" JONES THIS IS BILL HEWSON SAYING GOOD NIGHT!
The crowd is going absolutely crazy as the referees and security come in to sort things out. KRENSHOV is up, slinging D!'s arm around his neck and pretty well dragging the decimated one-letter up the aisle. Referees start pulling Ravager and Evan from the wreckage of their fall.
Chris Casino is alone.
But the fans only have eyes, and lungs, for RICHARDS! RYAN! REES! The trio embraces in the ring, bloody and battered, but all that matters is that the VICTORY... is theirs.
Lights down.
CREDITS:
Phoenix promo - Sweetser
Deathrow vs Jer$ey - Ian
Battle Royale - Troy
Mixed Tag - Bean
Outlaw vs Seamus O'Connor - Allan
Kryenik promo - Ian & Tylor
Tiffany vs Harmony - Brion
Outlaw vs Tommy Deathrow - MJ
WAR GAMES - Ro