MONDAY. NIGHT. FIGHTS.

01/16/2006

"LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.
LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.
LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.
LET'S GET THIS ----"

BOOM! Not real pyro, just the crashing of Boy Charlie's hard rock song you should check out now at myspace.com/boycharlie, the theme for NAPW Monday Night Fights, and than the sound of four hundred FIFTY plus packed into the NAIT Gymnasium for the final MNF before JOKER'S WILD~! It's Bill Hewson! It's Jack Attack Jones!

BILL HEWSON: Welcome once again to New Alberta Pro Wrestling, and this is MONDAY! NIGHT! FIGHTS! I'm Bill Hewson alongside Jack Attack Jones, and we have one HELLUVA card for you on this --- the pre-Supercard edition of MNF!

JACK JONES: That's right, Bill Hewson, because next week NAPW will pack out the Baccarat Casino for JOKER'S WILD! And that thing is officially sold out!

BILL HEWSON: If you couldn't get a ticket, the supercard will be broadcast on CITY-TV Edmonton in Alberta, or you can watch it online at NAPW.ca in streaming video!

JACK JONES: Technology. It's a wonderful thing.

BILL HEWSON: And of course the main event tonight will be D!, teaming with THE PREDATOR against the combination of LOBO and NAPW Champion Chris Casino of The Rat Pack. And speaking of The Rat Pack, one of their number is going to be in this opening contest! Let's go to the ring!

Finch's "A Man Alone" helps set the stage as the Provincial Champion Minstrel makes his appearance tonight, coming through the curtains and laughing like a broken toy.

JACK JONES: And for those of you keeping score at home, Minstrel is still completely undefeated by pinfall or submission!

BILL HEWSON: He should have submitted LAST week, before he cheated to beat Ravager!

JACK JONES: Should've, would've, could've. Minstrel's been a go-to guy for results recently, and his association with the Rat Pack? That just makes him BETTER.

Minstrel's hit the ring, and is now grabbing Frank Warburton, forcing him to join in in a waltz. Crossfade from Finch to Pet Shop Boys--Evan Cartwright enters, dispassionately noting the crowd's disdain for him, along with Terry Brandon, who naturally has a suit that matched his client's trunks.

JACK JONES: BOOYA! My evening JUST got better!

BILL HEWSON: Are you even going to TRY to be objective tonight?

JACK JONES: Oh, so the announcers can't be wrestling FANS, now? Are we the Stephanie McMahon WWE now? Sorry for enjoying the PRODUCT so much!

BILL HEWSON: That's NOT what I'm saying!

Brandon sits on the ropes and lets Cartwright flow smoothly into the ring, just as security and ring officials finally pry Warburton out of Minstrel's deadly waltz. Brandon whispers something last-minute into Minstrel's ear . . . LYNYRD SKYNYRD! KID ROCK! The crowd's starting to cheer the first time in what could have been too long as J! C! Cook! bolts through the curtains to whip the crowd into a frenzy!

BILL HEWSON: The REAL fans have spoken, "Jack Attack"!

JACK JONES: Well, maybe it's because they're getting a preview of Minstrel's Provincial Title def--

BILL HEWSON: OH, THAT'S NOT GOOD!

Indeed, it's not. Cook slid straight into the ring, where he's started to eat pump kicks from Minstrel, Cartwright and Brandon! It's three-on-one and Cook can't even get to his feet! Things look dire... METALLICA! MANIAC! The Lord of the Ring, Maniac, RUNS to the ring like a heat-seeking missile and starts taking straight rights to Cartwright and Brandon! There's no sense making introductions, instead the timekeeper rings the bell and IT'S GO TIME! While the referee breaks Minstrel off of Cook, Maniac ROCKS Cartwright with his big meat-hooks! ONE! TWO! Clotheslines Brandon out of the ring--THREE! Cartwright drops to the mat. Cook and Minstrel are in their respective corners now--Maniac's sitting Cartwright up now--WHACK! Stiff kick right into Cartwright's back! Cartwright yowls, and Maniac just winds his leg back again--WHACK! Brandon's having an aneurysm out at ringside--not literally, mind--and screams at the ref to DQ Maniac. The ref decides against, seeing as nothing illegal's actually happening. WHACK! Another kick pounds Cartwright's back, and the talented young lad flops to the mat in pain. Maniac stands Cartwright up, and it's--SIDEWALK SLAM! Cook's bouncing on the ring apron--HE WANTS IN! Maniac shrugs,figures "Why not?" and with a clap, the tag is made! Cook runs to Cartwright, who's staggering to his feet--CROSS-BODY! Cook's up, runs off of the ropes, Cartwright's picked himself up--CROSS-BODY! Cook hoists his man up again, runs off the ropes to--CARTWRIGHT! DROPKICK! OUT OF NOWHERE! Cook went to the well one too many times there, and The Rat Pack's Ronin has just capitalized. Cook's picking himself up--HELL-BOW, sorry, ELBOW to the back of Cook's neck drives him back down. Brandon's asking for crowd support for his client, which has the OPPOSITE effect. Cartwright's got Cook locked in a Front Chancery Facelock! Cook's woozied, it could be a submission attempt... except Cartwright's using the facelock to drag Cook into his corner, Minstrel tags Cartwright on the rump! Five seconds of legal double-team, Cartwright twists the facelock around, giving Minstrel unimpeded access to the ribs--WHACK! Cartwright leaves Cook in the ring freshly injured--AND WITH MINSTREL.

BILL HEWSON: The Provincial Champion and the man who will challenge for his belt next week at Joker's Wild! OH MY! Slingshot!

Minstrel grabs both of Cook's ankles, this can't possibly be--SLINGSHOT! Cook eats turnbuckle, and then bounces back, all the way onto Minstrel's knees! Whooping, Minstrel drags Cook right into the center of the ring--NOW what? Minstrel runs out to the ring apron, grabs the ropes, we've seen this--SLINGSHOT! MOONSAULT! KNEES! What? Cook brought the knees up on that early, early high risk maneuver! That knocked the wind out of Minstrel, Cook kips up, unsteady... stalking Minstrel... hoists him up over his shoulder, runs at the nearest turnbuckle, SLAMS Minstrel's back into the turnbuckle, wait, he's turning around--IT'S AN OKLAHOMA STAMPEDE! Runs all the way to the opposite turnbuckle and slams Minstrel there! Back to the centre of the ring, Running Powerslam! Hooks the leg, ONE! TWO! CARTWRIGHT sends his boot into Cook's face, breaking the pinfall attempt. The ref sends Cartwright back into his corner, then turns around and CLEARS THE PATH--FUZZY SPLASH! Cook has just LAUNCHED into Cartwright, knocking him off the ring apron! Ref starts admonishing Cook for that display, but Cook's got his sights up on Minstrel again--the Jokeman's on his feet, Cook's got him with a headlock and hoists up the tights--IMPLANT DDT!

JACK JONES: Y'know, even with that heavy mask on, even Minstrel's gotta feel getting dropped on his FACE.

BILL HEWSON: Well, he IS laughing pretty hard, so he must be in pain . . . or hungry . . . Cook's slapping his thigh, signaling the PRESSU--HEY!!!

JACK JONES: What does that MANIAC think he's doing?

What, indeed, as Maniac's just run into the ring, scooped up his PARTNER, Oklahoma Stampedes him into HIS corner, then slips through the ropes to grab the tag rope, then tags HIMSELF in. Cook protests, the crowd's ROARING for Maniac's head, and he just flips them off left and right. Turning his attention to Minstrel--SPINNING HEEL KICK TO MANIAC! He just took TOO MUCH TIME... Minstrel jumps at Maniac, floats over to his back, and hooks his opponent by the neck, setting up for an Inverted DDT! Minstrel roars for the crowd--

MINSTREL: Taquitos!

--Maniac slips out and whirls around! KICK! WHAM! HEAD-HUNTER! HEAD-HUNTER! Maniac countered with THE HEAD-HUNTER! Minstrel flops to the ground like a fish, and even does "the swim", helpfully. But instead of covering Minstrel, Maniac rolls out of the ring to where Terry Brandon's splashing bottled water on Cartwright! Maniac grabs Cartwright by the head, puts him on HIS shoulder--pausing only to shove Brandon to the ground--and props him up on the apron, against his corner. Cartwright's coming to as Maniac rolls back into the ring, pulls Minstrel out of the "water", and whips him FIERCE into Cartwright's corner. The crowd's SCREAMING for it, Maniac's tapping his foot, checking an imaginary watch. Cartwright's hand is hovering over Minstrel, thinking long and hard--TAG! Cartwright is back in the fight! Both men rush towards each other, Maniac stops Cartwright with a BOOT to the gut, then twists underneath him for the HEAD--NO!!! Cartwright with a Waist Lock--GERMAN SUPLEX! It took a lot out of Cartwright, but the Head-Hunter was DENIED! Both men on the ground, slow to get up... before the ref thinks to start a ten-count, Cartwright's found his feet, grabs Maniac's foot--DRAGON SCREW, wrenches the leg! Keeping hold of the ankle, he's holding the leg aloft--VICIOUS kick to the inside of Maniac's knee! Maniac SNARLS in painful defiance, but Cartwright straightens the leg out again--WHACK! Another pin-point attack to the back of Maniac's knee! Brandon's practically DANCING out a ringside--

BILL HEWSON: Your good friend might, uh, want to switch to decaf.

JACK JONES: I'll have you know Terry Brandon is not only the greatest MIND in wrestling, but he's not half-bad of a dancer.

Evan Cartwright goes to Maniac's head, delivers a stiff kick, andknocks Maniac around, face-first. He grabs Maniac's legs, cinches them under his arms, gets the Waist Lock, it's A WHEELBARROW--NO!!! Maniac POWERS OUT, and lands on his feet! Cartwright can't BELIEVE it--KICKWHAMHEADHUNTER!!! Cartwright's down, Maniac hooks the leg! Ref gets into position--WAIT A MINUTE! Minstrel's running in--AND SO IS COOK! COOK! Clotheslining the Jokeman out of the ring, and coming along for the ride! The ref wastes valuable time watching them, allowing Brandon to slip in and shove Maniac off of Cartwright! Maniac's temper is at BOILING POINT here, and starts threatening Brandon, who meekly cowers by the ropes. Cartwright's barely on his feet, OH LORD, HOW?, and grabs Maniac by the tights, rolling him up! ONE, TWO, Maniac counters with a pinning predicament of his own, ONE, TWO, Cartwright rolls that over, ONE, TWO, Maniac AGAIN counters over, this time he's got him, ONE, TWO, Cartwright rolls forward, Maniac's legs folded up underneath him --- Cartwright reaches out and links hands with Terry Brandon! ONE! TWO! THREE! The referee didn't see Brandon giving the assist!

FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your WINNERS, Evaaannn Caaartwright, and The Miiiiinnnstrelll!

Maniac, with a full case of ANGRY on, rushes after Cartwright, who's already on his way out of the ring. Baseball Slide!... into J.C. Cook! That breaks up Cook's tussle with Minstrel. Cartwright drags Minstrel to the ramp, where they meet with Brandon. Maniac is uttering death threats from the ring!

BILL HEWSON: I can't say all of Maniac's wins have been clean, but he deserves better than THAT!

JACK JONES: Maniac and Cook are just two more examples of what you get when you tussle with the Rat Pack--you go up against Terry Brandon's LIFETIME of experience!

BILL HEWSON: But it's CHEATING, Jones! It's not WRESTLING, it's CHEATING!

Brandon raises Cartwright's hand up. Brandon raises Minstrel's hand up. Minstrel boos and gives himself the thumbs down. The three men quickly back out of the aisle and to the safety of backstage. Back in the ring, Maniac's temper looks worse and worse... and then Cook grabs him by the shoulder. Maniac turns around, STEAMED, he could be a LOT happier--and Cook offers him his hand? He says "Hey, you did your best!", still sticking his hand out. Maniac looks at the hand, then looks at the crowd--they're cheering for him to take it... AND HE DOES! Maniac, SMILING, shakes Cook's hand! KICKWHAMHEADHUNTER!

With Cook sprawled out on the mat, and with the crowd back to booing him, Maniac blows his nose out on the young Cook and rolls out to the ramp to a chorus of cat-calls.

BILL HEWSON: Is Cook the ONLY sane guy in the NAPW?

JACK JONES: Well, look where SANE gets you. We're going to commercial, now don't go away!



Monday Night Fights returns with Axle Jaxx making his entrance. He looks poised and ready as he gets in the ring to a mixed reaction.

BILL HEWSON: A big match tonight for Axle Jaxx. He's gone winless in two matches so far in NAPW, and tonight he looks to make his mark against the veteran Ravager.

JACK JONES: Hey, if you want to score an easy win, Ravager's the way to do it! I hear next week Ravager's going to give the popcorn guy a chance to beat him.

BILL HEWSON: Actually, Ravager is in the Gauntlet match next week for an NAPW Title shot, but in truth Ravager has had a lot of difficulty in recent weeks against the Provincial Champion, Minstrel. But he seems to have moved on, and if Ravager can return to his ways of old than Axle Jaxx is in for the match of his life.

And with that, Apocalyptica kicks up, and Ravager strides purposefully through the curtain. Conservative black trunks, boots and pads, and a smaller black cast than before.

BILL HEWSON: Ravager's broken arm seems to be healing nicely, he's moved into a more maneuvarable cast tonight.

JACK JONES: Good, because Ravager used it as a weapon! I heard his arms not even really broken, he just paid a guy in an alley to plaster his arm up for a 'weapon'!

BILL HEWSON: Will you stop?

FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is schedule for ONE FALL! Introducing first, he comes from VANCOUVER, British Columbia! He is...AXLE! JAXX! And his opponent, from Brooklyn New York... THIS! IS! RAVAGER!

The bell rings, and Ravager and Jaxx lock up immediately! Ravager with the headlock. And he seems very focused, here. The losses he's had against the Minstrel seem to have taken him to a new place of concentration. Jaxx gets to the ropes, and Ravager breaks the lock. Jaxx irish whips Ravager to the corner, and starts running in place, to the cheers of the crowd. Looks like he's building to a running clothesline, but Ravager gets his boot up! Ravager locks in a cobra clutch! Axle Jaxx is in pain here! But he gets a foot on the rope, and the ref calls for the break. Ravager picks Jaxx up by the hair, and Jaxx elbows Ravager in the gut! Jaxx rolls over the back of Ravager, and catches him in a belly to back suplex! Some solid moves from the NAPW rookie! With Ravager laying on the mat, Jaxx runs and rebounds from the ropes with a rolling somersault on top of his opponent! He scrambles for the cover! One, tw- Kickout by Ravager!

JACK JONES: Does the kid seriously think he's going to win after a somersault?

BILL HEWSON: Give Axle Jaxx a break, Jack! This is his highest profile match yet!

Ravager's getting to his feet, but Jaxx wants to keep the momentum going! He grabs Ravager as he gets up, but Ravager drops to the ground, sending Axle Jaxx into the turnbuckle! Ravager with a back drop, but NO! Jaxx flips over Ravager, landing on his feet, INVERTED DDT! What a move! Jaxx goes for the pin again! One, two, NO! Ravager kicks out again! Jaxx is frustrated here, as he punches the canvas. The crowd's divided on this one, cheering on both men! Ravager and Jaxx are up, staring at each other for a few seconds in silence. Another lockup! Ravager gets the upper hand this time, and a backbreaker on the rookie! Axle Jaxx is writhing in pain. Ravager follows up with another Cobra Clutch, focusing on the hurt back of Jaxx. And Jaxx is yelling out in pain now! The crowd starts cheering for Jaxx to escape. Jaxx is trying his hardest.

JACK JONES: Ha! Look at that! Jaxx is trying to kick Ravager in the back of the head, but his feet don't reach! What kind of freak is Axle Jaxx?

BILL HEWSON: Just because the guy isn't fully proportioned doesn't make him a freak, Jack! Show some sensitivity for once!

Jaxx is inching to the ropes here! Ravager's on top of him, trying to make Axle Jaxx submit, but Jaxx is having none of it! He's almost there...A few more inches...HE GRABS THE ROPE! Axle Jaxx has grabbed the rope! And the ref tells Ravager to break the hold once more. What intensity is being shown here by both men! Axle's in the ropes, trying to rest a bit, but Ravager's pulling Jaxx out of his santuary! Small package by Jaxx! One, two, kickout by Ravager! This is three times Axle Jaxx has tried to pin the veteran! Ravager's on his back in the middle of the ring. Jaxx points to the turnbuckle, and the fans are loving it! Axle Jaxx runs at the turnbuckle and CLIMBS UP IT? The HELL? And now a moonsault! Oh my god! Ravager stands up, and CATCHES AXLE JAXX FROM BEHIND! DRAGON SUPLEX! DRAGON SUPLEX! Ravager pins Jaxx, ONE, TWO, THREE!

FRANK WARBURTON: Your winner by PINFALL...RAAAAAVAGER!

This match is over, and Ravager seems glad for that fact. Ravager's holding on to the turnbuckle while he catches his breath. But Axle Jaxx is standing in the middle of the ring, staring intently at the victor. Ravager turns around, and their eyes meet. Axle Jaxx sticks out his hand, and the crowd is on their feet! Axle Jaxx wants to shake Ravager's hand! Ravager's looking at the hand, breathing heavy. What's he going to do? Ravager shakes the hand of his opponent after a well-fought match!

BILL HEWSON: Now that's class on the part of both men here tonight, Jack! Not that a guy like Maniac would know that. What a match! When we return! Doomriders! Storm! Delivery Men! Decapitators! It's an eight-man Survival Elimination tag! Don't go 'way!



MNF returns, and hey! It's STORM making their entrance. Thunder, Tempest, and the always-overdressed (in a big trench coat, scarf, cowboy hat) Tex are stepping into the ring, Thunder insulting the fans as per usual. Tempest stands in the corner, arms crossed, ready for fightin'.

BILL HEWSON: Storm in the ring, and of course last week on Action! Thunder was the big winner in that four corners match-up...with a little help from Tempest & Tex, of course.

JACK JONES: Hey, color me impressed at how Thunder was able to get permission for Tempest & Tex to be at ringside. Either that, or it was one fortunate managerial oversight on the part of NAPW officials Thursday.

Both commentators look into the camera, but no time for that! Old Man Gloom and their track "Jaws Of The Lion" crank up, and to a huge chorus of boos it's "Sick" Billy Kryenik and Tommy Deathrow, The Doomriders!

BILL HEWSON: And these two men, it's too simple to call them 'twisted'... but they do things their own way damn the consequences.

JACK JONES: Could they have changed their clothes? I mean, at least Deathrow put some clothes ON, but Kryenik looks like he slept in a forest or something. Seriously, is that a leaf in his hair?

BILL HEWSON: Certainly an unusual combination, Storm & The Doomriders in this ELIMINATION eight-man tag. It's a Classic Surviv---

JACK JONES: Hey, you want to get us sued?

BILL HEWSON: ...A classic SURVIVAL style match-up!

Tommy Deathrow & Billy Kryenik in the ring, Deathrow with a strange leering expression on his face as he looks over the crowd. But hey, enough of those weirdos, let's bring on the weirdos! RAGE! AGAINST! THE! MACHINE! And here come the fan-favorite DECAPITATORS! Axe & Diamond burst from the curtain and slap five with the fans, circling the ring and playing to their fans. Which are legion. They hop on the ring apron, Diamond flipping in, and wait in their corner, Dick Kiebich looking more than outnumbered trying to ensure things stay civil. Tensions are boiling... HEADSTONES! And here come THE DELIVERY MEN! #1's hair is perfect, #2 has his cap, and they rush the ring and slide in next to The Decapitators!

BILL HEWSON: Two looks to be altogether none the worse-for-wear despite taking a brutal piledriver on the concrete last week at the hands of The Doomriders, but you've gotta know his neck isn't at 100%! But...we've got a big showdown here!

JACK JONES: This is fixin' to bust loose in Tulsa!

BILL HEWSON: Excuse me?

JACK JONES: ...I uh....I don't know what came over me. But it IS fixing to break down in Edmon...town!

BILL HEWSON: WILL YOU BE SERIOUS?

But one way or the other, it's a big line-up! Each team is in the center of the ring, one member facing another member! #2 and Deathrow! #1 and Kryenik! Axe & Tempest! Thunder & Diamond! Kiebich is trying to get the teams to start the match proper, but... yeah, right. PIER-SIX BRAWL, news at eleven! Kiebich shrugs and lets it go as all eight men are brawling! The action's spilling out of the ring now, with the Delivery Men & The Doomriders particularly brawling around ringside! Axe & Tempest end up on the floor, and Kiebich calls for a bell to ring as it's THUNDER and DIAMOND in the ring as the legal men! Diamond of course, the smallest man on the roster by a significant margin, gets irish whipped by Thunder, who goes for a spinning backbreaker --- but Diamond is able to hit a flying headscissors instead! Thunder pops up and rushes, Diamond catches him with a drop toe-hold and floats seamlessly over into a side headlock! Thunder gets to his feet as the other six have FINALLY, somehow taken their corners at Kiebich's hollering. Thunder gets to his feet, still headlocked, and pulls a back suplex! Diamond goes down hard, and now Thunder tags in the three-hundred-pound, six-foot-eight TEMPEST. Tempest hauls Diamond up like a rag doll and throws him halfway across the ring. Not pretty, but effective. Diamond blinking away the impact, but Tempest wastes no time and irish whips the Decapitator, Diamond off the ropes...INTO a huge big boot that nearly takes Diamond's head clean off. Irony! Tempest with a cover, one, two, Axe with the save to ensure the "D" team doesn't take the first elimination. Possibly a temporary, reprieve, however, as Tempest hauls Diamond up over his shoulder and marches to the corner. Snake Eyes coming up... hang on! Diamond wriggled out and lands behind Tempest ... the big man turns around, and Diamond hooks him up for an ACID DROP! Oh my gosh, Tempest just got floored! Diamond springs forward and lands on his face, but not before making a tag into his partner Axe! Axe comes in as the stunned Tempest is getting to his feet, doubled-over. The Decapitator grins, and cuts Tempest down to size with a huge Guillotine Drop! Tempest goes down again, but Axe makes a quick tag, this time to Delivery Man #1! #1 flexes his muscles underneath that jumpsuit and sticks a dazed Tempest's head between his legs. He's not going to try to hit the Big Delivery, it's not possible! OH MY GOODNESS! Delivery Man #1! INCREDIBLE STRENGTH! POWERBOMBS Tempest, absolutely unbelievable, and HERE COMES DIAMOND! DIAMONDSAULT on the downed Tempest, #1 covers, Axe & Diamond rush the ring to cut off any interference --- ONE! TWO! THREE!

FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen...TEMPEST has been ELIMINATED from this contest!

BILL HEWSON: Unbelievable! #1 has got to be one of the strongest men in the NAPW, actually LIFTING Tempest for that huge sit-out powerbomb! And with some huge teamwork, the Delivery Men & Decapitators just took a one-man advantage!

JACK JONES: Tex doesn't look too happy about that, and can I blame him? BLATANT cheating by Diamond! He wasn't the legal man!

BILL HEWSON: And here comes Tommy Deathrow to meet up with #1, can one keep the momentum rolling for his team?

#1 glares at Deathrow and spits on the canvas. They lock up! Deathrow with a greco-roman thumb to the eye to take over on #1, and he just starts unloading with right hands. Referee warns him on those closed fists, so Deathrow obliges by switching over to CHOPS! And than back to some closed right hands with #1 backed into the corner. Irish whip by Deathrow, but he puts the brakes on and swings #1 BACK into the same corner with a thundering impact! #1 slumps forward, holding his back, and Deathrow picks him up for a Falcon Arrow! One, two, #1 manages to kick out! Deathrow makes a tag, and "Sick" Billy Kryenik is in the match for the first time. Deathrow locks a Camel Clutch onto #1, what's this? Kryenik off the ropes with a SICK, stiff kick right to #1's face! He was defenseless! Deathrow leaves the ring as Kryenik takes over on Delivery Man #1 and unleashes a stunning right hook that puts staggers #1 unbelievably. Kryenik looks mildly surprised that #1 didn't go down, and he hits a couple left-jabs and BOOM. Big right hook --- is dodged, barely, and #1 latches onto Kryenik for a half-nelson bulldog! Big impact there, and #1 makes a much needed tag to his partner, the cap-wearing Delivery Man #2! #2 leaps to the top rope and SPRINGBOARDS into the ring onto Kryenik with crossbody, cover gets two. #2 hooks up Kryenik and works to stretch him, trying to hook on his Strangehold Alpha, but Kryenik twists out of it and locks on a crossface, #2 is fighting, and amazingly enough...we have a WRESTLING match breaking out! #2 won't let Kryenik get it on completely, and manages to swing himself around, and he's going for the crossface chickenwing! HE'S GOT IT LOCKED ON, and making a crazy Bob Backlund face, legs wrapped around Billy Kryenik for leverage, but Kryenik desperately kicks his way near the ropes and gets a toe on. Dick Kiebich forces the break, and the fans actually offer up a round of applause for that tremendous exchange.

BILL HEWSON: It's easy to forget, with his penchant for violence and brawling, that Billy Kryenik is one of the most creative, sound and STIFF technical wrestlers in not just NAPW, but the world today! And that's not talking anything away from #2, because to wrestle against Kryenik is a huge challenge!

JACK JONES: The man can stretch you in so many different ways, Hewson. He's a shooter.

Meanwhile, #2 and Kryenik are debating the next move, tag out, or keep at each other. #1 & The Decaps shout "Take the bastard out!" and other such charming encouragement. Deathrow sticks his tongue out and licks his lips, apparently enjoying seeing somebody get stretched out. Kryenik snorts and turns back, and they lock up again, and this time Kryenik takes #2 down first and gets the leverage on him, he's looking to lock #2 up in the Branch Breaker STF! #2 works his way out, trying to wrestle out, he manages to turn it over and he's working on his OWN STF! Kryenik in danger here, but wait a minute, there's a counter, and Kryenik takes over on the head side of #2, stretches his head back, and than digs his knees in! He maneuvers just a bit and yes, he's got The Branch Breaker! #2 is in a great deal of trouble here, his back and neck have got to be racked with pain! And it's #1 with a save, driving an elbow into the neck of Kryenik! Kryenik stunned, but #2 doesn't have the capacity to make a tag. Kryenik makes the tag to Thunder this time. The remaining Storm member gets into the ring, rolls #2 over onto his back and makes with the mounted punches! Kiebich counts, but Thunder stops the closed fists at four, drawing boos from the crowd. He poses briefly and goes back to work. Irish whip, clothesline coming up, #2 manages to duck that...and he tags in Axe on the way by! THIS time Thunder connects with the clothesline, but he didn't see the blind tag #2 made! Thunder covers #2, the referee doesn't count it. Thunder stands up and argues with the referee, turns around...and eats a SPINEBUSTER from Axe! Cover gets one, two, kick out by Thunder! Axe, the brawler of The Decapitators grabs Thunder and shoots him into the corner --- follows in with a big clothesline! Thunder staggers forward, but manages to get to his corner and tag in Tommy Deathrow. Deathrow steps in, and leers at Axe. Axe hits a kneelift, though, and slams Deathrow down, drives the elbow and gets ... one only. Axe picks Deathrow up and tags in the light-weight Diamond. Axe applies an arm wrench, and Diamond kicks Deathrow right in the abdomen! Diamond takes advantage, laying in some right hands, and a suplex to Deathrow, bridging into a pin! That gets two. Diamond waits for Deathrow to get up, telling him to bring it, and runs at him with a swinging neckbreaker! Cover gets TWO. Deathrow seems to be smiling sickly, despite the beating he's taking! Diamond, frustrated, says that it's OVER! Another suplex lays Deathrow out in perfect position. Diamond hits to the top ropes, and here it comes! DIAMONDSAULT! And that hit KNEES! Deathrow suddenly up quickly, barely looking like he's been hurt at all, and he stuffs Diamond's head between his legs, grabs the back of the tights and pulls him up...DEATHROW DRIVER. But wait a minute, he doesn't cover? Tommy Deathrow unceremoniously dumps Diamond into the heel corner, and hauls him up AGAIN. Deathrow Driver number TWO, cover is made, and before Axe can get halfway across the ring it's a three-count! Deathrow rolls the limp Diamond out of the ring like a rolling pin.

FRANK WARBURTON: By pinfall, DIAMOND has beeeeeen eliminaaaaaated!

JACK JONES: And just like that, we're on even footing again!

BILL HEWSON: Good lord, Diamond's neck could be broken! There wasn't any need for two Deathrow Drivers, what the hell is wrong with Tommy Deathrow?

JACK JONES: He likes to win matches, any way he can. It's a terrible strategy, I know.

BILL HEWSON: ...I hate to do this, but we have to take a commercial break! If anybody is eliminated during the break, we WILL have the replay! Oh my! Axe is in and he's FURIOUS! Don't go away!



NAPW returns with Axe pounding away at Tommy Deathrow, hammering him in the corner, but Deathrow fires back. These two brawlers are just taking it away from each other! Deathrow earning the upper hand despite Axe's fire. Axe backed against the ropes, Deathrow gets a head of steam and it's a Cactus Clothesline, both men tumbling over and out to the floor! Kryenik immediately drops down and comes over, even as Kiebich starts the count! Deathrow irish whips Axe GOOD LORD right into a Kryenik superkick! The Delivery Men crash the party and go to work on their nemesis', and now it's a brawl on the outside! Referee yelling for them to get back to their corners even as Axe gets back into the ring. There's nobody for him to tag, though! #1 realizes this and punches Kryenik but good, than rushes back to his corner! Axe tags in #1 and promptly collapses, rolling to the outside as Deathrow gets back in the ring only to meet a scoop slam! Kiebich is still trying to get order on the outside, leaning over the ropes as Kryenik and #2 are fighting it out. And that gives THUNDER the opportunity to get into the ring illegally, but not before TEX hands him a stop sign! #1 with a bicycle kick on Axe, who ducks out of the way, #1 momentarily offbalance, and Tommy Deathrow uses a school-boy to take him down? And Thunder DRIVES the stop sign right into #1's face! Oh my gosh! Deathrow grins sadistically and instructs Thunder to lay the sign flat, he picks him up...DEATHROW DRIVER! On top of the stop sign! Thunder grabs it and hauls out of the ring as Kryenik decides then to bugger back to his corner, and Kiebich turns around to see Deathrow covering #1...ONE! TWO! TH-----#1 kicks out, somehow! Deathrow with a look of surprise on his face, but he says what the hell, tag into Kryenik made! Deathrow slaps the taste out of #2's mouth in the face corner, knocking him off the canvas! Axe is still dazed from that superkick but halfway up on the canvas. And Billy Kryenik with a horrifying burst of impact and speed hooks #1 up for THE DRY LAKE. And it connects, #1 collapsing in an ugly fashion to the canvas as Kryenik makes a cover, and this time, there's no kicking out! It's a three count!

FRANK WARBURTON: As a result of a pinfall, DELIVERY MAN NUMBERRRR ONE has been ELIMINNNNNATED!

BILL HEWSON: Yeah, thanks to Thunder & his blasted stop sign!

JACK JONES: Hey, #1 kicked out of the Deathrow Driver on the stop sign, I'll give him that credit! But nobody, NOBODY is going to kick out of The Dry Lake AND The Deathrow Driver!

BILL HEWSON: And now it's down to Decapitator Axe & Delivery Man #2, and Axe has not been the same since eating that high-velocity superkick on the outside! And that's who Thunder is going to work on!

Thunder has been tagged in as Axe comes in, #2 back on the canvas now, and Axe hauls off with a big clothesline, which Thunder nimbly dodges. And he fires off...with a SUPERKICK! And that's gotta be all, no, Axe somehow gets a shoulder up! Thunder looks frustrated, and he looks over at The Doomriders on the apron. A light bulb goes off. Thunder looks over and attacks #2, the poor guy. Two's had enough and he rushes into the ring to get at Thunder, and Dick Kiebich gets in his face. The heels playing smart here, and Thunder sends Axe into the heel corner. Thunder goes over to #2, and is egging him on, Kiebich tied up in that corner...and MEANWHILE. The Doomriders collaborate. Kryenik lifts Axe up onto his shoulders as Deathrow goes to the top rope! Deathrow comes off and it's a DDT off of Kryenik's shoulders! The Doomriders call that Thrones & Dominons! And yet, Kryenik hauls Axe up, propping him against the ropes? What's this? Thunder finally stops annoying the referee, and they turn around to see Axe essentially out on his feet! Thunder smirks and RUNS at Axe --- BLACKOUT ENZIGURI! Axe slumps down, out like a light, and Thunder covers, counting along with the referee ONE, TWO, THREEEEE!

FRANK WARBURTON: Decapitator AXE HAAAAAS BEEEEEN ELIMINATED!

BILL HEWSON: And unbelievably, The Doomriders & Thunder have hit THREE unanswered eliminations! And I like Two a lot, but it's three on one now! There is a huge amount of pride on the line, as well as potential for tag team title shots, but it's #2 right now against Thunder! Billy Kryenik! And Tommy Deathrow! And frankly I don't like #2's chances.

JACK JONES: These elimination matches are ultimately a numbers game, Bill Hewson. And I don't care how good you are, trying to beat three men on your own is nigh impossible! Hey, #2 looks game, I'll him credit for that.

BILL HEWSON: And one way or the other, it IS Delivery Man #2 in the ring against Thunder!

Delivery Man #2 and Thunder go at it, and Thunder sends him to the ropes! Delivery Man #2 goes down to a high knee lift, and Thunder covers, that only gets two. Thunder stomps away and fires Delivery Man #2 again into the ropes, #2 puts the brakes on and reverses! Thunder hits the ropes and hangs on, #2 rushes him...Thunder pulls down the top rope and #2 sails to the outside, crashing into the guardrail! Thunder preens for the crowd and gets in the referee's face, as The Doomriders both drop off the canvas and beeline towards #2. Tommy Deathrow just grabbed the hammer for the ring bell out of the timekeeper's hands! Kryenik DDTs #2 on the outside... and Delivery Man #2 is busted open! Deathrow grins at the sight of blood, as Kryenik knuckles in the gash to widen it, and than Deathrow takes a turn, digging the hammer head into the wound! This is disgusting, and now The Doomriders roll #2 back into the ring. Tommy Deathrow licks the blood off of the hammer as in the ring, the referee looks bemused by the blood but only sees Deathrow & Kryenik on the ring apron. He starts to question them but Thunder drops an elbow and covers, one, two, no! #2 gets a shoulder up. Thunder with BRUTAL head shots to the busted open forehead of Delivery Man #2, and now he tags in Billy Kryenik! LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOO! by Kryenik into the corner! Kryenik puts #2 on the top rope...and good lord! A shoulderbreaker-esque maneuver off the top rope, #2's head smashing into Kryenik's knee! ONE! TWO! The Hot Salvation combo, Kryenik calls it, but #2 finds the will to stay in this match! Kryenik now with another tag, this time to Deathrow, and Tommy Deathrow...DOMINATOR! That's gotta be all...ONE! TWO! TH---#2 somehow gets a foot on the ropes! Good lord, how did he do that? Deathrow tags again, this time to Thunder, and clearly the numbers game is going to overwhelm #2 momentarily. Thunder punches away on #2 and than puts him down with a suplex. Thunder, to the top rope! He waits for #2 to stand up, here comes his signature flying clotheslineBULLDOG! #2 somehow ducked out of the way and simaltaneously was able to drive Thunder face first into the canvas! #2 pops up and RUSHES the heel corner, socking Deathrow & Kryenik alternately! #2 sprints towards Thunder, Thunder catches him in an atomic drop, #2 lands on both feet solidly to block it, and leaps up for a HURACANRANA! And holy crap, Dick Kiebich just got wiped out by the flying bodies! Deathrow & Kryenik both swing into the ring, but #2 is bringing reserves from somewhere! HURACANRANA to Kryenik! HURACANRANA to Deathrow! Both Doomriders spill to the outside of the ring and HERE COMES DELIVERY MAN #2! SOMERSAULT SPLASH TO THE OUTSIDE! Both Doomriders just got WIPED. OUT. #2 is down as well, meanwhile in the ring, Thunder is staggering to his feet, momentarily dazed...and the fans suddenly DOUBLE in volume?

BILL HEWSON: It's three on one, #2 is trying to gain some momentum, but in taking The Doomriders out he's given Thunder the chance to recuperate... WAIT A SECOND! OUT OF THE CROWD! It's TECHNIQUE!

JACK JONES: What the hell is he doing here---HEY!

BILL HEWSON: Technique just got in the ring! And wait, he spins Thunder around CROSSBONES! CROSSBONES! Thunder is down --- Kryenik just went thighfirst and over the steel ring steps --- TECHNIQUE IS ON TOP! FROG SPLASH ON THUNDER! #2 ROLLS INTO THE RING! KIEBICH IS UP! ONE! TWO! THREEEE!

JACK JONES: NO! NO! ILLEGAL! COME ON REF!

FRANK WARBURTON: THUNDER has beeeeen eliminated!

BILL HEWSON: And now it's TWO on one, THE DOOMRIDERS versus DELIVERY MAN #2! AND HE MIGHT HAVE A SHOT!

Delivery Man #2 is BLEEDING all over the place, but he's roaring to the crowd as Technique heads back into the crowd yelling "PAYBACK'S A BITCH, ESE!" Thunder rolls out of the ring, Tex beside himself, but Delivery Man #2 isn't waiting for either Doomrider to get back into the ring! Deathrow on the apron, #2 dropkicks him right back to the canvas, Deathrow crashing chest first into the guardrail! Kryenik, looking banged up (more so) is on the ring apron, and Delivery Man #2 grabs him for a suplex to the inside. Kryenik blocks the suplex and nails a hot shot on the top rope, #2 snapping back from the impact. Kryenik immediately rolls into the ring and grabs #2 for an irish whip... KISS OF BABYLON--- NO. Delivery Man #2 ducks it and catches an momentarily unbalanced Billy Kryenik from behind with the CROSSFACE CHICKEN WING! HE'S GOT IT LOCKED ON, eyes wide in mania as blood pours down his face. Tommy Deathrow breaks it up, and that's it! The Doomriders stomp on Delivery Man #2, and it's time! Once again in the match, it's Thrones & Dominions, and lights out for #2! Kryenik hoists #2 up on his shoulders, and Tommy hits the top rope. Wait a second, Delivery Man #2 pushes forward and victory rolls Kryenik, pops up instead of covering and shoots up to the top rope... AND SENDS DEATHROW TO THE FLOOR! #2 turns around as Kryenik gets to his feet, #2 flies off with SPEEDY DELIVERY! He rolls Kryenik up! ONE! TWO! THREE!

FRANK WARBURTON: By a pinfall...BILLY KRYENIK HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

BILL HEWSON: By God, Delivery Man #2 has brought this down to one on one! Unbelievable ---HEY! You're eliminated, you can't --- Billy Kryenik, now eliminated, just hit THE DRY LAKE on Delivery Man #2! And NOW Kiebich gets him out of the ring...

JACK JONES: Well, hey, Technique interfered for #2, why can't Kryenik get a few licks in?

Deathrow, with an effort, hauls himself into the ring...and there's the academic cover. ONE. TWO. THREEE... NO! Delivery Man #2 somehow gets the shoulder up! The arena is ON THEIR FEET, chating "TWO! TWO! TWO! TWO!". Tommy Deathrow, smeared with #2's blood, licks his lips, NOO! DEATHROW DRIVER! The crowd's heart ripped out of their throat, ONE, TWO.......THREE.

FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your SOLE SURVIVOR...the winner of the match...TOMMY! DEATHROW!

BILL HEWSON: No! No! By God, not like this. Delivery Man #2... so much heart, what a comeback, only to have it stolen away by The Doomriders!

JACK JONES: Or he lost, fair and square, Hewson. Deathrow Driver! Going into the Falls Count Anywhere match at Joker's Wild, it's The DOOMRIDERS who have momentum on their side!

Meanwhile, Tommy Deathrow has put his hands over #2's bloody face, and is licking the blood off of his fingers as Kryenik comes in the ring and hugs him. The Doomriders stand triumphant over #2's body, Kryenik roaring and Deathrow's tongue extended and red.

BILL HEWSON: An unbelievable elimination match, one way or the other, but you gotta be disappointed at the result. We do have to take a commercial break... we'll get this ring cleaned up, and when we come back...

JACK JONES: Ladies, set your VCRs, because REX CALIBER, one half of the tag team champions, is going to be STRIPPING LIVE!

BILL HEWSON: ...apparently. We'll uh...be right back.



"Low" by the Foo Fighters start to play as Stylin' Kyle Roberts and Bruce "The Beast" Richards come out to the boos of the crowd. They enter the ring and motion for mics.

KYLE ROBERTS: Now, I know, this is the part of Monday Night Fights where your new tag team champion Rex Caliber was going to strip for all his fans. But Bruce and I were the ones who put a stop to that!

BRUCE RICHARDS: This is an all-ages show! If Rex Caliber wants to strip, there's plenty of places he can do so. We're here to wrestle! You know, what champions are SUPPOSED to do?

KYLE ROBERTS: Next week! The Baccarat Casino! Joker's Wild! The New and Improved D-X is going to be your NEW tag team champions! Third time's the charm, ladies! Crimes, you'd better bring the A-game! And the Dudes? You might want to keep your little lady backstage. Bruce and I don't want her to get hurt. Tiffany's too good a woman to be backing up the likes of the Dudes! Those lethargic, lazy-ass good-for-not-

BILL HEWSON: It's THE DUDES!

The Dudes' music hits, and out come Mike Johnston and Cameron Scott. They enter the ring to stare face-to-face with D-X.

MIKE JOHNSTON: No, please, Little Red, finish your sentence, we'll wait.

KYLE ROBERTS: Fine! Lazy-ass-good-for-not...

Kyle is drowned out as the crowd begins chanting "LITTLE RED RIDING ROBERTS, LITTLE RED RIDING ROBERTS." He looks about ready to have a fit, and Bruce the Beast has to talk him down.

MIKE JOHNSTON: Sorry, dude. You might be hot stuff down in Medicine Hat, but it looks like these fans here, in Edmonton, don't give a damn what you have to say!

The Edmonton crowd cheers.

CAMERON SCOTT: But as much as your Gastown belts mean to you, we kn! ow how much the NAPW belts mean to you. That's why we, out of the goodness of our hearts, gave you this title shot. Because, unlike us, you seem to need title belts to prove to yourselves that you're good wrestlers.

BRUCE RICHARDS: We don't need to prove anything to you, you two-bit high-school drop...

Now Bruce is drowned out to chants of "UNDERTAKER! clap clap, clap clap clap.!"

MIKE JOHNSTON: Can't hear you, Beast.

CAMERON SCOTT: And if you're trying to rattle us by threatening Tiffany? Tiffany's a big girl, and she can handle herself. But seeing as you big men need to threaten a girl to feel tough, we'll let it pass. Best of luck with that. As for this weekend, well all I have to say is-

Even More Human than Human blares over the PA system.

JACK JONES: Finally, it's the MAN we were expecting! Ladies don't like to be disappointed, you know.

BILL HEWSON: I bet you know all about disappointing ladies.

Rex Caliber, holding his NAPW Tag Team Belt, walks out from the curtain into the aisle with a huge smile on his face. Static is not by his side.

REX CALIBER: What you were going to say, doesn't need to be said. Everyone knows that me and Static are going to be the longest reigning champs in NAPW history. Isn't that right Static?

Rex looks to the left and looks to the right...then smiles. D-X looks around, expecting Static to come from the crowd or wherever at that comment.

REX CALIBER: Static's handling some minor details in the back. But I know he would agree with me... Bring on the Rat Pack, bring on the Dudes, bring on Kamala and the Brooklyn Brawler.

A small Rex chant breaks out in the crowd.

REX CALIBER: Bring anyone you want, because come next Tuesday morning, when I leave Canada, I'll still be..

The lights go out!

BILL HEWSON: WHAT THE??

JACK JONES: You'd think I'd get used to this by now, but MAN. Turn the freaking lights back on...THANK YOU.

BILL HEWSON: WAIT A MINUTE! That's Static in the ring! And --- AND he's holding a LADDER!

Static's facing the backs of the New and Improved D-X and the Dudes. He swings the ladder, and knocks down both Kyle Roberts and Cameron Scott! Mike Johnston and Bruce Richards look at each other in shock, and then run towards Static, but are CUT OFF by vicious clotheslines to the back by Rex Caliber! The Crimes each with one end of the ladder! They run over the rising Kyle and Scott, than back over Johnston and Bruce! THE CRIMES have cleared the ring! Rex picks up one of the fallen mics.

REX CALIBER: WHEN I LEAVE CANADA... I'll still be... one-half of the NAPW Tag Team champions.

The Tag Team champions are sharing huge grins while the crowd is furious. Rex hands the mic to Static and sets the ladder up, climbing up it.

STATIC: Last week, after our Tag Title victory, I'm doing this interview with Megan Adams of the Edmonton Sun, and it just... HIT ME, like a Rex Caliber clothesline to the back. Heh. The perfect way to present the chaos that'll be our Tag Title match at Joker's Wild... gentlemen. If you want our Tag Team Titles, you're going to have to go up, up, up! Up FIFTEEN FEET and get 'em!

BILL HEWSON: No way...

STATIC: That's right, kids! Per order of "Wahoo" Bobby Winchell, with an assist from yours truly, our match at Joker's Wild will be a triple-threat LADDER MATCH! See you there, kids!

As "Bled for Days" by Static-X hits, Rex reaches the top of the ladder and is holding his belt up high above his head, posing for the crowd, as Static shouts taunts in the ears of the fallen and stunned tag teams! MNF goes to commercial break!


JACK JONES: Maybe if we're lucky, D! will have his career ended here, tonight, by these two men. Then Chris Casino could face a REAL opponent at Joker's Wild.

BILL HEWSON: Although I won't do more than acknowledge Jack Attack's heterosexual man love for all of Terry Brandon's charges, I will admit that these two men are certainly looking ready to wrestle here. They didn't really get much training done this week, however, and that may be their weakness in this match.

JACK JONES: When you're as good as Chris Casino and Lobo, you don't NEED to train. It's all talent, baby.

As Sinatra fades, so too do the lights. The crowd's jeers become cheers as Criss Angel and "Scarecrow" hits the sound system! The Predator appears through the curtains, to the welcome appreciation of the crowd! As the lights rise, we can, however, see that Predator's chest is heavily bandaged. He slowly makes his way towards the ring, and slides in, while Casino and Lobo sneer at him from their corner.

BILL HEWSON: The Predator had a run-in this week with his former mentor Mirage, and his pack of goons. Though Predator certainly came out on top... he looks pretty worse for wear.

JACK JONES: He was stabbed in the chest, Bill Hewson! Stabbed in the chest! I'm actually amazed he's even wrestling tonight!

"RIIIIIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES!" The crowd ERUPTS! D! steps out from the back long enough to grin at the crowd, then rushes the ring! Casino and Lobo both retreat as D! hits the squared circle and basks in the applause of the fans!

BILL HEWSON: The fans haven't forgotten all that D! has done for them, Jack Attack, and they're happy to see he's come home!

"D! D! D! D!" The crowd chants while Casino, Brandon and Lobo, outside of the ring, shout at them to shut up. D! and Predator have a quick pow-wow in the ring, then make for their corner. It looks as though Predator is starting things up for them, while Lobo slides into the ring. Frank Warburton does his thing.

FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first, at a combined weight of FIVE HUNDRED and THIRTY five pounds... THE PREDATOR! AND! D! And in the opposing corner, at a combined weight of FIVE HUNDRED and THIRTY pounds... LOBO and the NAPW CHAAAAMPEEEEN! CHRIS! CASINO!

Ding! Ding! Ding! Lobo and Predator waste no time! They lock up immediately, both of the larger men trying to gain an early advantage. For once, Lobo is actually the smaller man, and he looks a bit shaken as Predator begins powering him down to his knees... and a punch to the chest is what he earns! Predator angrily releases Lobo and retreats a step, clutching his chest!

JACK JONES: Lobo isolating that wound early! Smart wrestling there, Bill Hewson!

Lobo charges, Predator sidesteps, catches Lobo on the rebound, tilt-a-whirl...BACKBREAKER! Lobo rolls quickly to the ropes and Predator hungrily glances at Casino, daring Lobo to tag in his partner. Chris Casino smiles at him with a million dollar grin, and lazily extends a hand to Lobo. Tag made! Casino hops into the ring, and Predator charges! The crowd is cheering as Casino is driven back into his own corner, and Predator begins hammering away at him! Casino covers up as he sinks down, then rises fast! European Uppercut! Then a stiff shot to the injured chest! Predator sinks to his knees! Senior referee Dick Kiebiech shouts at Casino to watch the closed fist, but the champion just grins at him.

JACK JONES: Look at that corrupt officiating! I didn't see any closed fist!

Casino, now on the offensive, slaps his leg! He's looking for the superkick! Predator rises... SUPERKICKNOOO! Predator backs off at the last second, and Casino doesn't connect! As Casino recovers from the miss, Predator springs to his corner! The tag is made and the crowd goes batshit as D! steps into the ring!

BILL HEWSON: This could be a preview of Joker's Wild!

For a moment, things are crazy! D! stares at Casino! Casino stares at D! The crowd is on its feet! "D! D! D!" They chant! Chris Casino grins like a Cheshire Cat, and extends his hand to Lobo. The crowd BOOS as Lobo makes the tag and steps back into the ring. D! shrugs and shouts "Let's rumble Peanut!" at Lobo.

JACK JONES: Smart play by Casino.

D! goes on the offensive immediately, catching Lobo with a few shots to the head and chest, then rebounding off the rope for a FLYING lariat that takes the big man down. D! hoists up the Olympic champ, whips him into his corner... STINGER SPLASH! Lobo slumps into the corner in a daze, and D! makes the tag back to Predator. D! and Predator take the double team opportunity, hoist Lobo to the top turnbuckle... DOUBLE SUPLEX! Lobo flops across the ring, while Terry Brandon and Chris Casino make noise about how unfair it all is! D! exits and Predator goes to work. He hauls Lobo to his feet, hoists him into a fireman's carry... TORTURE CHAMBER! Lobo cries out and begins thrashing. Wait! Predator staggers... Lobo's size is too much for his injury to handle... it's just enough for Chris Casino to make the tag on Lobo's back! Casino hops into the ring SUPERKICK! RIGHT INTO PREDATOR'S CHEST LIKE A BULLSEYE! ROLLUP! ONE! TWO! THRNOOOOO!

BILL HEWSON: How did Predator kick out!?

JACK JONES: I don't know! HE WAS STABBED IN THE CHEST!

Chris Casino can't believe it either! He argues the three count while Lobo rolls out of the ring. D! stretches his hand out to Predator, desperate for the tag! The bandage on Predator's chest has started to go red in splotches, and his clutches at it in agony, biting back a scream! He begins crawling towards D! He stretches out his hand... fingers sooooo close.... Casino stomps on his head and drags the injured man away, sneering at D!. He draws Predator to his feet, snap suplex, and drops an elbow on the chest! There's another pin! One! Two! NO! Another kick out! Chris Casino glances down at Predator, clearly getting shaken by the larger man's resilience, while Terry Brandon shouts from the ring apron at Dick Kiebiech to stop slow counting! Kiebiech turns his back on the action to patiently explain the rules to Brandon, and Casino uses the distraction to start stiffly punching Predator right in his bloody chest! The crowd boos loudly, and Lobo storms over to get in on the action! D! moves to intervene only to have Kiebiech stop him, which only buys Lobo and Casino more time! Lobo hoists up Predator and twists him like a pretzel into an abdominal stretch, and Casino keeps punching and kicking at the wounded chest!

BILL HEWSON: This is sick! Call the medics!

Casino loudly claps his hands, and heads for his corner, while Dick Kiebiech turns around to see Predator, bandages now red with blood, desperately fighting with everything he has inside of Lobo's abdominal stretch. D!, on the apron, gets the crowd started on clapping, feeding Predator with energy! Predator begins powering out, and Lobo can't believe it! He growls angrily and elbows Predator in the chest, then stomps on him for good measure. Predator begins clawing towards his corner again, while Lobo tags back in Casino who goes to pick at the bones with a grin! He grabs Predator's leg and drags him back to the middle of the ring! He pulls Predator shakily to his feet, gestures to the crowd shouting "Watch this!" DROPKICK! NO!! PREDATOR SWATS CASINO ASIDE! Casino lands unceremoniously on his butt and howls, and Predator now dives with all his remaining energy towards his corner! Lobo hits the ring! Dick Kiebiech shouts at him to get back in his corner! THE TAG IS MADE! D! IS! IN! THE! HOUSE!

JACK JONES: Illegal tag! Get him out of there!

BILL HEWSON: There's nothing illegal about it! D! is ready to tear this place apart!

He catches the charging Lobo with a toe kick! And another! Can YOU do the can, can!? The crowd sings along as D! unloads the Rockettes Kick of Death! Lobo staggers away and Casino now rushes, PLAGUE SPINEBUSTER! Casino rolls aside as Lobo rushes back in! D! catches him and whips him into the corner! Casino is back on his feet and D! whips him into the OTHER corner! D! is fired up! He charges Casino! STINGER SPLASH! As Casino staggers away from the turnbuckle, D! turns to Lobo and... STINGER SPLASH! Lobo flops! The crowd is on its feet as D! charges back to Chris Casino, catches him, NYQUILL DRIVER! THIS COULD BE IT! THE COVER! ONE! TWO! THREE! WAIT! NO! Kiebiech is pointing at Casino's foot! He got it on the ropes at the LAST POSSIBLE SECOND! D! can't believe it! Terry Brandon is over on the other side of the ring!

JACK JONES: Yes! Take that! Never faced a REAL wrestler before, have you?

BILL HEWSON: Way to be objective, Jack Attack.

Terry Brandon rushes to the ring apron by Casino and D!. He brandishes his briefcase menacingly and hops up on the apron... PREDATOR! The Predator catches hold of Brandon's legs and pulls down HARD! Terry Brandon plummets like a rock, his head bouncing off the apron, and he's KO'D outside of the ring! In the ring D! rises to meet Lobo who rushes him! Dick Kiebiech has totally lost control here! Lobo ducks a roundhouse punch, bounces off the ropes, only to get caught with a drop toe hold! He rolls out of the ring, covering his nose, and now Chris Casino out of nowhere! MISSLE DROPKICK from the top rope! D! takes it full and rolls back across the ring. Both men struggle to their feet while Predator hits the ring. Chris Casino rushes D! who side steps, Casino springboards off the ropes, HURACANRANA! D! is caught full on! Casino rises with a smirk, stands over D!, and traces a finger over his own forehead where D!'s scar would be, shouting "You're my bitch! D! I've marked you!"

BILL HEWSON: What is he doing!?

JACK JONES: Telling it like it is, Hewson! Shut your yap and let him talk!

But wait! Predator is hunched over in the other corner, lining up the champion! Chris Casino doesn't notice! Casino, now, pulling D! to his feet... snap kick! Casino doubles over with a surprised look! PREDATOR CHARGES! CASINO THROWS D! IN THE WAY! PREDATOR SPEARS D! RIGHT OUT OF THE RING! HOLY HELL!

JACK JONES: Ha, HA! Now that's FINE teamwork.

D! shakily rises outside of the ring... LOBO! Lobo nearly takes off D!'s head with a clothesline from behind, then he hoists the former champion up into a gorilla press... WHY!? He drops D! NECK FIRST onto the guard-rail! The crowd is booing for all their worth!

BILL HEWSON: D! needs to be in the ring to make the pin! What is Lobo doing!?

In the ring, Predator hasn't missed a beat, not giving the champion time to capitalise on the mistake. Grabbing Casino by the throat, he hoists him up for a devastating CHOKE BOMB! The Predator then takes a handful of Casino's ponytail and looks at the crowd. "The Hunt..." The crowd chants with him "IS OVER!" He hoists up Casino for The End! WAIT! Lobo grabs his leg and pulls for all he's worth! Predator topples... and Chris Casino falls right on top of him! KIEBIECH IS COUNTING! LOBO IS STILL HOLDING THE LEG! NOT LIKE THIS! ONE! TWO! THREE!

FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners... LOBO! AND! CHRRRRIS CASINO!

BILL HEWSON: What just happened!? PREDATOR WASN'T THE LEGAL MAN!

JACK JONES: Well according to Senior Referee Dick Kiebiech he was, Bill Hewson! And in the end, that's all that matters!

The crowd boos with everything they have as Casino and Lobo retrieve a stunned Terry Brandon and begin retreating up to the stage. D! rolls back into the ring, clutching at his throat and coughing, while Predator clutches at his bloody chest. D! has pulled himself to his feet, coughing and holding his throat.

BILL HEWSON: Casino and D! meet in the steel cage for the second time this Saturday at Joker's Wild!

JACK JONES: Not a very promising comeback match for your hero, Hewson. Maybe D! will finally learn that HE ISN'T A WRESTLER come Saturday!

BILL HEWSON: That's all the time we have! Goodnight, and we'll see you next Monday night! D! was the legal man, I'm telling you!

We're treated to one final shot of a grinning Casino holding the title, and then a shot of D! staring daggers after him as Monday Night Fights goes off the air!