TONIGHT, the 2010 Canada Cup continues! The sadistic Jeffrey Roberts takes on "The Suplex Automaton" Taboo!
GRAPHIC: TABOO vs JEFFREY ROBERTS
NAPW Tag Team Champions The O'Connor Boys will take on an old foe --- and a former ally --- when they face Rodderick MacCulloch and Lloyd Rees!
GRAPHIC: O'CONNOR BOYS vs RODDY MAC/LLOYD REES
And in the 1st ever MAIN EVENT on NAPW on THE FIGHT NETWORK, new Canadian Heritage Champion Donovan Astros will defend his title against the colossal Kenny Krenshov!
GRAPHIC: CANADIAN HERITAGE CHAMPIONSHIP - DONOVAN ASTROS © vs KENNY KRENSHOV
THIS... is New Alberta Pro Wrestling! This is NAPW ON THE FIGHT NETWORK!
Pan into the OGDEN LEGION HALL in Calgary, Alberta --- and it is packed with NAPW fans yelling and screaming, AMPED for the first TV tapings for NAPW on The Fight Network! Cut to BILL HEWSON and JACK "ATTACK" JONES at ringside!
BILL HEWSON: Good evening and welcome... to the first episode of NEW ALBERTA PRO WRESTLING, right here on THE FIGHT NETWORK! We are here at the Ogden Legion Hall in Calgary Alberta! What a show we have for you tonight, but right now... We have the triple crown winner Taboo on hand for our first match. He is a veteran of the business who is looking to add a win to his Canada Cup standings. I'm Bill Hewson alongside my broadcast partner, the one and only Jack "Attack" Jones!
JACK JONES: And don't you forget it! As far as Taboo goes, like he even has a shot against my man Jeff Roberts.
BILL HEWSON: You could be right. The sadistic Roberts came up short against World Champ Chad Kurtis just last week. There's no telling what this sicko will do tonight to vent his anger!
The lights go out as a spotlight shines bright on Frank Warburton. Morgan Smythe can be seen in the shadows standing in the corner of the ring.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to NAPW on THE FIGHT NETWORK!
The fans go nuts. There isn't an empty seat to be found. Signs, Shirts, and of course Beer can be seen with each fan the camera passes over. The noise gradually gets louder. Frank Warburton raises his voice.
FRANK WARBURTON: Let's get ready for our first match!
Love and War by Drowning Pool blares in the venue. The electricity builds as the fans eagerly wait for Taboo. The crowd starts to chant "TABOO" "TABOO!"
FRANK WARBURTON: Hailing from Boulder, Colorado, weighing in at two-hundred sixty-six pounds, TABBOOOOOOOO!
Then out of nowhere a loud eruption as Taboo comes out from the back and starts making his way to the ring.
BILL HEWSON: Have you ever heard anything this loud?
JACK JONES: Well the hook... I mean lady of the evening I had over my place.
BILL HEWSON: I am going to stop you right there. This place is rocking.
oooooooooooooooooooooh wa ah ah ah *BOOM* Disturbed's Down with the Sickness pops and the rowdy crowd becomes enraged.
FRANK WARBURTON: His opponent, from Miami, Florida, weighing in at two-hundred thirty-five pounds, Jeffrey Roberts!
Empty plastic beer cups and wads of napkins fly as Jeff Roberts makes his way to the ring. The fans are making it known who they are behind in this match. Roberts steps into the ring and stares down Taboo. The bell rings and the match is underway. The two stand toe to toe with Jeff having the clear size advantage. Roberts and Taboo are having some words in the middle of the ring. Jeff pushes Taboo, but he doesn't move far. Taboo comes right back with a shove of his own. Roberts is surprised at Taboo's apparent strength. Roberts clocks Taboo with a right to the jaw. Taboo answers back with one of his own. A flurry of lefts and rights from both men. The two are starting this match off fast and furious with a series of chops, punches, and kicks. Each man is unloading on the other. It appears a few groin shots have made it past Smythe's viewpoint.
JACK JONES: Just like the Attack in the sack!
BILL HEWSON: You disgust me.
Taboo takes advantage of a missed shot by Roberts. He kicks him hard in the mid-section and irish whips him across the ring. Taboo charges and hits the Taboo Press. Roberts is a little shaken up from the successive head butts. Taboo gets up and goes to stomp on Roberts, but Roberts catches his foot and throws him back. Roberts gets on one knee but a quick knee lift from Taboo puts Roberts back down on the mat. Taboo decides to grab the leg of Roberts and attempt a Taboo Squeeze. Roberts quickly squirms to the bottom rope and sneaks out of the ring. The crowd starts booing and Jeff smiles and points to his head. Taboo walks over to the ropes and yells for Roberts to get back into the ring. Then Roberts eyes glisten and get as wide as melons. He has spotted something. Taboo is grimacing a little in the ring. Roberts jumps back onto the ring apron. Taboo looks like he is going to try to go for a suplex, but is met with a shoulder block by Roberts. Roberts is now in the ring. Taboo with a devastating clothesline to Roberts. It appears Taboo is rubbing his lower back after that impact. Taboo is trying to bend over to pick up Roberts. Jeff nails Taboo quickly with a thumb to the eye.
BILL HEWSON: That demented Roberts just cheated again!
JACK JONES: As my mistress always said, it isn't cheating unless you get caught.
BULLDOG! And Taboo's face plants firmly into the mat. Boos are reigning in from the crowd. Jeff starts to blow kisses to those booing him. He turns to Taboo and starts stomping his back. Taboo twitches with every sickening stomp. Roberts positions himself over Taboo and locks in the camel clutch. Taboo's face turns reddish-purple as he is fighting the pain. Roberts is laughing in his sinister voice. He almost looks as if he is riding a rocking horse. He starts to yell "GIDDYUP!" Smythe checks the arm.
Taboo's arm goes down ...ONE
Smythe checks the arm again.
Yet again Taboo's arm goes down ...TWO
Smythe holds up the arm for the third time. The audience is shocked that Taboo has held out so long. They also can't believe what they are seeing. Roberts is going to make the veteran submit.
Taboo's arm goes down for the final time ...NOOOOO!
Taboo grabs a hold of Smythe's pant leg and tells her to keep the match going. Roberts quickly jumps off of Taboo and gets into the face of Morgan Smythe.
JEFFREY ROBERTS: You ring the bell, that was three!
MORGAN SMYTHE: His arm never fully came down, the match must continue.
While Jeff and Morgan fight, Taboo gets to his feet. He is gingerly moving towards Roberts. He taps Roberts on the shoulder and when Roberts turns around he gets him with a kick to the mid-section. Jeff doubles over in pain. Taboo goes for a german suplex. HE HITS IT! The crowd gasps as they see Taboo roll around on the mat writhing in pain. Smythe starts the count as both wrestlers lay on the mat.
...ONE
...TWO
JACK JONES: Get up Roberts! Don't let that gimp beat you!
...THREE
...FOUR
BILL HEWSON: What is going on in that psycho's mind?
Jeff smiles as he lies on the mat gathering his strength.
...FIVE ... SIX ... SEVEN ... Jeff is up. Taboo is still on lying defenseless. Jeff starts taunting Taboo. Taboo is swinging but can't do anything. Jeff slaps Taboo across the face not once, but three times. It is insult upon insult. Jeff goes to hit Taboo again. BOOYA! Taboo catches his arm and pulls Jeff into range. He musters one head butt to drop Roberts to a knee. Roberts now starts choking Taboo as they roll outside the ring. Smythe starts the ten count.
...ONE Roberts struggles away from Taboo.
...TWO He stands above Taboo kicking him in the back at every turn.
...THREE ...FOUR ...FIVE The fans are booing loudly and the place is deafening. Roberts drags Taboo in front of a young child with a Taboo shirt on. Roberts now pulls up the protective mats to expose a bare concrete floor. Now the child is screaming. The rest of the crowd starts flinging garbage at Roberts.
...SIX He points to the child and picks up Taboo. Taboo is now completely vertical in the air. CRACK! Taboo is lying on the concrete. Trying to get up but he can't get to his feet. Taboo is trying to gather all he can to get up for the child who is now crying in front of him.
...SEVEN But his efforts are in vein as he can't seem to do it. He stares at Jeff with a half glazed and half enraged expression. Smythe is already up to 8 in her count. Jeff slides back in. He points to Taboo and starts holding his back.
...NINE
...TEN!
The bell rings and garbage pours in from all over.
FRANK WARBURTON: Your winner by count-out... JEFFREY ROBERTS!
Jeff slides out of the ring admiring the carnage. Danny Chaos runs out of the back and bumps into Roberts on his way to help Taboo up. Jeff just smiles and saunters away. Now the head referee, John Sharplin, comes running out as Chaos, Smythe, and Sharplin hold Taboo up. Taboo smiles through the pain long enough to give the crowd a thumbs up sign. "Love and War" by Drowning Pool kicks on and the fans pop again blowing the roof off of the place. Cleaning crews come out as we fade out for commercial.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
We come back from commercial to Josh Reynolds, who is standing in front of the new NAPW on TFN logo, mic in hand.JOSH REYNOLDS: Welcome back NAPW fans! My guests right now are the NAPW's newest temporary tag team, Bruce Richards and The Kumquat Kid!
Bruce, in his new "Just Call Me Bruce" t-shirt, is his usual calm & collected self. The Kumquat Kid, in his usual "VIVA LA KUMQUAT!" orange tee, is bouncing up and down as if he's riding an invisible pogo stick. Bruce holds his hand up, trying to keep his partner still.
JOSH REYNOLDS: Now guys, we know that next week you're going to be going up against The Freak Show, and everyone's wondering: after your recent clash, how can you exist as a team next week?
Before Bruce can speak, Ryan begins waving his hand in the air like a 2nd grader.
KUMQUAT KID: Ooh! I know this one!
JOSH REYNOLDS: Uh, yes Ryan?
KUMQUAT KID: It's simple! I can understand people thinking we won't get along because of our last match, but we're professionals. I mean seriously, I can make a mean cheese omelette, and Bruce, well, you've got to see him play air guitar!
Bruce covers his face in his hands, the fans popping and laughing about the whole thing.
BRUCE RICHARDS: Great, Ryan. Now the whole locker room knows of my air guitar abilities. But the Kid is right, Josh. We are focused on the present. The present being the The Freak Show, a team that has made a name for itself across the wrestling world. But this isn't just an opportunity to move up in the rankings.
KUMQUAT KID: No way! We have the opportunity to show the fact that people might not like the way we do things, but they have to respect us in the ring!
BRUCE RICHARDS: That's right. We know that people think we're easy pickings. But they'll know better next Tuesday night.
KUMQUAT KID: Because I don't care if you're a killer carny or a sideshow slasher: you can't beat the combination of citrus and charts!
BRUCE RICHARDS: That reminds me: kumquat-meringue pie charts won't work.
KUMQUAT KID: Sure they will! You just need to whip the egg whites into hard peaks...
Bruce and The Kid continue their discussion as Josh Reynolds turns back to the camera.
JOSH REYNOLDS: Well there you have it, folks: strong, strange words from The Kumquat Kid and Bruce Richards. Will they have enough "juice" to beat The Freak Show? We'll find out next week on NAPW on TFN! Right now, back to ringside with Bill Hewson and Jack Jones!
JACK JONES: ...So after that, I only used the crunchy kind.
BILL HEWSON: Somehow I don't think creamy would've made that any better. (shudder)
JACK JONES: Yes, but I wouldn't have these scars.
BILL HEWSON: I'm not look at that! Pull your pants back up for crying out loud! In the ring for the next match are two tag teams... Sean & Seamus, the Irish twin dynamos and our CURRENT Tag Team Champions! Their opponents, the squad of Rodderick MacCulloch and the most decorated man in NAPW history, Lloyd Rees! This is a non-title match, but...
The O'Connor Boys are in one corner, the tag team title belts snugly around their waists. MacCulloch is on the other side, smirking wryly. Lloyd Rees is next to him. So is THE BEARD.
BILL HEWSON: ...These men are no stranger to each other in the slightest. The champs and Rees are well acquainted in particular.
JACK JONES: It's like a family reunion, minus all the hot chicks.
Sean O'Connor starts it off for the two time Tag Team Champions as he and Lloyd Rees circle each other. O'Connor raises a hand and motions to the crowd to get loud and they oblige, getting louder when Rees beckons then as well. They lock up and Rees quickly twists it into a go behind. O'Connor ducks the hammerlock and twists Rees' arm up behind him, but Rees rolls through it and armdrags O'Connor to the mat. O'Connor is up fast, but another armdrag sends him back down. O'Connor is up fast again but stops short when Rees pulls back a right hand that misses the mark as O'Connor dodges his head backward and drops to his side. He uses his legs to take Rees off his feet and to his stomach. O'Connor swings around and into a mounted position and gives Rees a light tap on the back of the head before popping up to his feet and backing off.
JACK JONES: Quick action here to start things off! Look at all the chain wrestling...
BILL HEWSON: It suddenly got all 1985 in here.
They lock up and this time Rees backs O'Connor into the ropes. The ref calls for a clean break and Rees does so, backing off. They circle briefly again, then lock up once more. This time Rees backs O'Connor into the ropes and bounces him off, firing him across with an Irish Whip. A Rees clothesline misses the mark, but he dashes across at the opposite side as O'Connor goes by. Rees slaps the outstretched hand of Rodderick MacCulloch as he bounces off the ropes and dives down on his stomach, O'Connor leaps over Rees right into a stiff right hand from MacCulloch. MacCulloch pulls O'Connor to his feet and fires him into the ropes and Sean comes off into a big powerslam for a two count.
BILL HEWSON: Big power move out of Rodderick MacCulloch early!
JACK JONES: Not nearly enough though.
MacCulloch pulls O'Connor to his feet, but he reaches up and quickly drops MacCulloch on his chin with a jawbreaker. MacCulloch staggers away holding his jaw as Sean turns and quickly tags Seamus in. Sean takes hold of MacCulloch and scoop slams him down to the mat. Seamus backs up to the second turnbuckle and drops a big leg across the throat of Rodderick MacCulloch. Without wasting any time, Seamus turns and tags his brother back in once more. Seamus takes hold of both of MacCulloch's legs and leans back, catapulting him up and into a vicious clothesline from Sean O'Connor.
BILL HEWSON: Quick tags from the O'Connors and they've taken control here.
JACK JONES: They've gotta have a decided advantage having tagged up for so long. And after all, they are the champs.
Sean O'Connor pulls Rodderick MacCulloch and whips him into the ropes. MacCulloch ducks through on the way back and bounces off the opposite side and as he comes back once more, Sean O'Connor takes him by the head and tosses him hard over the top rope where he goes flying outside and up against the railing. O'Connor takes a breath in the ring and Lloyd Rees hops down to check on his partner. Seamus gets in the ring with his brother and they quickly glance at each other and nod before rushing the ropes and slingshotting themselves up and over the ropes onto both Lloyd Rees and Rodderick MacCulloch, splaying bodies all over the place.
BILL HEWSON: The O'Connor Boys have cleaned house!
JACK JONES: But they've taken themselves out of the equation in the process!
BILL HEWSON: All four men are out on the floor. The referee is trying to get this thing back under control and while he does, we're gonna head to commercial.. we'll be right back!!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
JACK JONES: How was I supposed to know she was betrothed to the local tribal chief? Where I come from, Life Savers are just candy!!BILL HEWSON: I'll never look at the candy at the movie theater the same again.
JACK JONES: Tell me about it.
BILL HEWSON: We're back and the team of Lloyd Rees and Rodderick MacCulloch have taken control, as the former World Champion Mr. Rees has Sean O'Connor in a precarious position.
Lloyd quickly hits a snap suplex on Sean O'Connor then drops two successive elbow drops. O'Connor tries to crawl toward his corner in vain as Rees drags him by the leg back across the ring. Rees tags MacCulloch in, who gives a few well places stomps to the midsection of the prone Sean O'Connor. MacCulloch picks him up and leans him up against the corner and throws a few haymakers to the side of the head of O'Connor, slumping him to the mat. MacCulloch picks him up again and quickly tags Rees back in. MacCulloch holds O'Connor there as Rees lets loose with a big knife edge chop. (WHOOO). And another. (WHOOO). And another. (WHOOO.)
BILL HEWSON: Lloyd Rees is really opening up on Sean O'Connor and some huge red welts are popping up on his chest.
Rees pulls him out and away from the corner and backs him into the ropes and whips him across. Sean comes flying off with a flying forearm that catches Rees square in the forehead. Rees goes down and so does Sean O'Connor as he desperately tries to claw his way to his corner, where Seamus O'Connor is furiously pounding the turnbuckle and leaning in to make the tag.
BILL HEWSON: Sean O'Connor is desperately trying to make it to the corner here! Lloyd Rees is up. He's over... He's TOO LATE!
Sean O'Connor makes a last ditch leap to the corner and just slaps his brother's hand. Seamus O'Connor comes in and ducks under the swinging hand of Lloyd Rees - spins him around, atomic drop, dropkick to the back, Rees goes flying into his own corner and runs into Rodderick MacCulloch, dazing him.
FRANK WARBURTON: ONE MINUTE REMAINING IN THIS MATCH!
Rees turns around. Kick to the midsection. Standing headscissors by O'Connor, double underhook. He pulls Rees up vertical and drives him straight down.
BILL HEWSON: My God, what a move! He dropped Lloyd Rees right on his head with a version of Lloyd Rees' own Miner Driver!! Here's the cover!
Seamus O'Connor covers Rees and hooks the leg, but Rodderick MacCulloch dives in to break up the pin. MacCulloch up now and Seamus trades blows with him. Sean O'Connor makes it back into the fray and lays the boots to Rees. Sean pulls Rees up as Rees is basically limp still from the double underhook driver before. Sean tries to put him back in a standing headscissors but Rees suddenly springs to life and pulls his legs out from under him. He takes a quick look into the crowd the crosses the legs over.
BILL HEWSON: Rees takes Sean O'Connor to the mat. He's going for the Lance Cove Leglock!
As he turns Sean O'Connor over, he changes his mind and leaps onto his back, pulling his head back and putting on the dragon sleeper. He grapevines the legs and pulls back for all he's worth, screaming out to the crowd as he does so.
BILL HEWSON: NO! Conception Bay Chinlock!
Rees wrenches back, but Seamus sees what's going on out of the corner of his eye. He abandons his fight with Rodderick MacCulloch and dives for all he's worth at Lloyd Rees, landing a double axe handle across the forehead, breaking up the hold. MacCulloch is right on him though and pulls him back up to a standing position. Hard forearm to the kidney area. Seamus O'Connor stumbles forward. Rodderick MacCulloch takes a step back. Seamus turns around. CALGARY CRASH.
BILL HEWSON: Calgary Crash! Right in the middle of the ring!
JACK JONES: That's gonna do it right there!
MacCulloch makes the cover and gets two but this time Sean O'Connor breaks it up with a kick to the back of MacCulloch. Rees is behind Sean O'Connor as he gets up. DDT FROM THE GREEN. Cover. Sean O'Connor with his foot on the ropes. Rees slaps the mat in frustration. Rees turns his attention to Seamus O'Connor. He picks him up and flings him into the ropes. Seamus leaps up onto the ropes and catches Rees by surprise with a back fist. Rees stumbles to the ground holding his nose and checks for blood as he lies on the mat. MacCulloch tries to intervene but takes a thigh kick from Seamus. Sean back up. They whip MacCulloch into the ropes - double spinning roundhouse kick. Rees back up. Seamus climbs the turnbuckle.
BILL HEWSON: Irish Insignia from Seamus O'Connor! Lloyd Rees blocks a right hand. Boot to the midsection and a Miner Driver of his own!!
JACK JONES: Both sides have a man down!
BILL HEWSON: A cover by both sides!! Seamus O'Connor covers MacCulloch! Lloyd Rees covers Sean O'Connor!
ONE.
TWO.
THE BELL RINGS.
THREE.
BILL HEWSON: My God, what's the decision here?! Both sides had the other man pinned!
JACK JONES: This should be interesting.
FRANK WARBURTON: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS MATCH HAS BEEN DECLARED... A TIME LIMIT DRAW!!
BILL HEWSON: The time ran out! What a match! You don't get any closer than that, Jack Attack.
JACK JONES: Both sides had their men beat, if that makes any sense. I'm not sure I can make any sense of it, but either way, I'm being told both men are gonna get a point here.
BILL HEWSON: Fair enough. All four men up now and shaking hands here - and a nice show of sportsmanship as all four men's hands are raised.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
The camera cuts in on NAPW backstage interviewer Josh Reynolds against a backdrop banner of "NAPW on THE FIGHT NETWORK".JOSH REYNOLDS: Welcome back wrestling fans! Josh Reynolds backstage here with the newest tag team here in New Alberta Pro Wrestling; The Freak Show. Shut Down, Freak, Can I get your reactions to that last match we just saw featuring Lloyd Rees and Roddy Mac and the Tag team Champions The O'Connors?
Shut Down puts a massive hand on Josh's chest and pushes him out of camera view.
THE FREAK: Good bye Josh. Looks directly into the camera Now, Sean, Seamus, the fact that you two numbnuts are still the tag team champs after our match is a sad fact. How can you two call yourselves champs after we manhandled you both from bell to bell? You guys got lucky, plain and simple.
SHUT DOWN: Just like the last time we met, you two just couldn't match us for speed, power, skill, or drive. But, once again, we fell short of getting the gold. We proved to everyone in attendance that we are a better team; only to have you two weasel out and steal a cheap victory. You two make us sick. Hell, you couldn't even beat your opponents here tonight. Pathetic.
THE FREAK: And that little show after the match. {In a Irish accent} oh we couldn't beat you so let's just shake hands and all be friends. Fiddle dee dee potatoes. {back to his normal voice} Just sickening.
SHUT DOWN: Now I know you guys are under no contractual obligation to grant us a rematch but I know you want too. In fact I'm willing to bet you'll begging the boss man for another shot at us. And when that match happens, we'll be waiting for you.
THE FREAK: Lightning won't strike twice for you. We will beat you. We will take your gold. We will show everyone in this gutless promotion what real fighting champions look like. Until then, enjoy what time you have left.
Both men walk out of the camera's view as Josh Reynolds steps back into view
JOSH REYNOLDS: Well there you have it. Now back to ring side.
Fade back to ringside... the fans wondering what's next... "Guess who's back?"
Hit it.
"THEY SAY I'M COCKY! AND I SAY WHAT?
IT AIN'T BRAGGIN' MOTHER(BLEEP) IF YA BACK IT UP!"
Kid Rock blares and the fans are on their feet because that means none other the NAPW world champion himself, 'The Show' Chad Kurtis is on his way to the ring. 'The Show' pauses at the top of the aisle to take in the cheers of the crowd before making his way slowly to the ring with the World Title draped across his left shoulder. The champ takes time to exchange high fives with the crowd before climbing in the ring....
CHAD KURTIS: Hello, Calgary! I love the energy in the Odgen Legion Hall tonight! Is there something big going on!?
Crowd begins to chant NAPW on TFN.
CHAD KURTIS: Oh yeah that's right NAPW is going global and what exactly does that mean? Simple that means the world finally gets to witness what Canada has been witness to for years! The Fight Network audience gets to witness the greatest wrestling promotion going!
Chants grow louder!
CHAD KURTIS: So what exactly does that mean for 'The Show' Chad Kurtis!? That means it is time for me to raise it up a notch or two!? I know everyone is wonder how exactly I plan on doing that after all I am the world champion! But the bottom line is this: before it was enough just to be the best wrestler but that ain't enough anymore! Now I have to be an entertainer, too! But that's okay I done this sort of thing before. Matter of a fact I asked one of my old buddies to write me up a little promo for tonight which he did but when I got I just didn't know if it was right for me.
Chants of "WE LOVE THE SHOW" begin to mix in with the NAPW on TFN chants.
CHAD KURTIS: But since my boy wrote it I figured I would give it a whirl. To set it up let me say it's a parody of the new Kobe Bryant shoe commerical so bare with as I try my rap skills here but I am going to need all your help by echoing in beat what I say.
'The Show' clears his throat and takes a sip of his FIji water before continuing.
CHAD KURTIS: My name is 'The Show.'
CROWD: His name is 'The Show'.
CHAD KURTIS: This is my belt!
CROWD: 'That is his belt!
CHAD KURTIS: I am so hot right now!
CROWD: He is so hot right now!
CHAD KURTIS: That I am fire!
CROWD: That he is one fire!
CHAD KURTIS: Enough, enough! That is enough of that. I just can't do it. I mean sure it was entertaining and fresh and all that but it just wasn't right for 'The Show' or for NAPW and you know why?
CROWD: Why?
CHAD KURTIS: Because that is just all flash and lights, camera, action, no emotion and that ain't right NAPW or 'The Show' Chad Kurtis is about. NAPW and 'The Show' is all about the love of the sport and the fans so all I have to say to everyone in television land is to be ready to experience real wrestling at it's best not the watered down version you are used to watching but the real deal! Anyway it seems that there is something else I needed to address while I am up here. What could that be?
'The Show' pauses for a moment before patting the belt and smiling.
CHAD KURTIS: Oh yeah I remember I need to address my title defense against none other then Steve Parker. I am sure you have all heard of this man, right? The man who thinks he is God's gift to the NAPW. The man that mocks you the fans at every chance he gets.
Crowd begins to chant Parker sucks, Parker sucks.
CHAD KURTIS: You know what I don't know if I am having an out of body experience or maybe deja vu or what but haven't we done this before? That right this would be the third time that me and Mr. Parker have squared off in the ring. And how exactly did the other two matches end? That right with victories by 'The Show' Chad Kurtis! So guess how the third meeting between us is going to end?
That's right with another victory by 'The Show'! Does that mean I am taking the so called 'Star Spangled Sensation' lightly? Does that mean I have already wrote this title defense off and am looking forward to the next? Hell no! C'mon now you all know 'The Show' a little bit better then that! What this means is that 'The Show' is facing a more dangerous Steve Parker then he has ever faced before and that's bad news for me. After all I can admit that Parker has pushed me to my limits each time we have faced each other. But the bad news for him is that I am still a little bit better then he is, that I still want to have the honor of being the NAPW world champion a little bit more then he does!
Crowd fires back with more "WE LOVE THE SHOW" chants.
CHAD KURTIS: And the bad news doesn't end there for Mr. Parker because while there is alot of people out there that have crowned 'The Star Spangled Sensation' as part of the future of this great company and I agree the bottom line is you're looking at and listening to 'The THENNOWNEXT' and this is my time! Parker you think you want some of the champ will all I can say is come and get some...
A cymbal crash brings in a walking bass line, which can only signal the arrival of one man. Steve Parker saunters through the curtain in his suit and is immediately greeted by a chorus of boos. The negative reaction does not, however, deter the Smile from being on full display. In one hand, Parker has a microphone, and the other is holding, what else, his 2009 awards. Parker basks in the moment for a moment before letting the music die and bringing the mic to his mouth.
STEVE PARKER: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, we are making history. Before this night, the only way anyone could ever hear of New Alberta Pro Wrestling was by word-of-mouth, online, or by whatever DVDs were available. Now, thanks to The Fight Network, we are mass communicating, reaching further than ever before every Tuesday night *pointing right into the lens with his plaques* right into your living room. No longer will we be just fighting for these nose-picking simpletons here in attendance, but now we're going global. And it's all thanks to NAPW... *The Smile broadens, then goes back to being neutral* on TFN. Now, of course, to celebrate such an occasion, next Tuesday night, February the ninth at eleven PM Eastern, eight Pacific right here on NAPW on TFN, you will witness a doozy of a match, when the best wrestler in the NAPW, the cream of this crop, and the very manifestation of picturesque awesomeness...
Parker pauses. A few members of the audience shout out "SHOW!" emphatically.
STEVE PARKER: ...faces the World Champion, "The Show" Chad Kurtis.
Crowd pops for Chad's name, but since Steve Parker said it... More boos surface. Parker's Smile widens again.
STEVE PARKER: That's right, folks, Parker versus Kurtis III. Now, Show, you may have bested me twice so far, but the one thing you have to admit is that, since you began your reign as champion, there has not been an opponent that has pushed you as far as I have. No man has tested your limits quite like I have in recent months, and now the time has come for me to take you to the brink one more time. This time, however, you won't be pulling away from the edge, there will be no help like what you got from Roddy Mac in your last match with the noble and honorable Jeffery Roberts, and there will be no walking out of this building with that title. Third time's a charm, Chad, and now I'm going to add another accolade to my already stellar resume. By this time next week, you will be looking at the NEW NAPW World Champion, Mister Red, White, and Blue, the Award-Winning One-Man Dynasty...
Parker pauses again. The crowd continues to grow more hostile... but that doesn't stop The Smile.
STEVE PARKER: ... and YOUR Star Spangled Sensation... yours truly... STEVE PARKER!
A couple of fans feel compelled to fling their drink containers in the direction of Parker's shiny dome, both of which miss by a long shot.
'The Show' smiles as he brings the mic back up to his mouth.
CHAD KURTIS: I will give you that. After all I am a honest man so I will admit you have pushed me more then anyone since I begin my reign as champion. But the truth is that means I have taken your best shots! That's right, Parker, I have taken the best that you have and still come out on top in both our encounters. So what does that mean? Maybe nothing but you know history does have a funny way of repeating itself. I don't pretend to have ESP or pretend to be psychic but I am going out on a limb and say that on NAPW's second airing on TFN the man that starts the show as champion is going to be the same man that ends it as champion!
Chants of we love you Show break mixed with NAPW on TFN grow louder as 'The Show' drops his mic and just stares down Parker as 'Cocky' by Kid Rock blast through the sound system.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
JACK JONES: ... and that's when I realized there WAS NO SANTA CLAUS.BILL HEWSON: Jack, you can't possibly expect Saint Nick to cover your gambling bets.
JACK JONES: Tell that to my bookie!
BILL HEWSON: Fans, welcome back to the debut of New Alberta Pro Wrestling right here on The Fight Network... And it's time for our main event!
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the MAIN EVENT. The following contest is set for one fall at a thirty minute time limit... and is for the NAPW CANADIAN HERITAGE CHAMPIONSHIP!
"AND I AM FINALLY FREE!"
The crowd ignites... ON FIRE. Or with fiery boos. Either/or. All for the two men who step arrogantly through the curtain! The big one in trunks is wearing a white and gold championship belt, while the smaller man is decked out in a slick suit, accessorized by the biggest shit-eating grin...
FRANK WARBURTON: Accompanied to the ring by his manager and NAPW Ring of Prestige member CHRIS CASINO... weighing in at three-hundred and twenty-one pounds, from Middletown New Jersey he is KENNY KRENSHOV!
BILL HEWSON: And here he comes, the biggest man in NAPW today! Former NAPW World Champion, former tag team champion is Kenny Krenshov, but you see a title belt over his shoulder... Krenshov supposedly won that title in Japan and brought it back to Canada, but his so-called 'True Honor' championship belt is NOT recognized by New Alberta Pro Wrestling!
JACK JONES: And it's a travesty! Krenshov has put that title on the line against all comers, but gets nothing but insult from NAPW management.
BILL HEWSON: Like last week when Chris Casino beat Lloyd Rees up BEFORE Rees' match with Krenshov?
"ALL EYES ON ME."
The mix of 2Pac's "All Eyez on Me" with "Bittersweet Symphony" kicks up, catching the crowd off guard. Donovan Astros steps through the curtain with the Heritage Title around his waist, receiving a mixed reaction --- leaning towards favorable.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent! Weighing in at two-hundred and forty-one pounds! From Los Angeles California, he is the reigning CANADIAN HERITAGE CHAMPION... DONOVAN ASTROS!
BILL HEWSON: Two-Time Heritage Champion, as well as a former two-time NAPW World Champion and a Tag Team Champion! Donovan Astros a member of the illustrious Triple Crown club and he wanted so badly to be here, Jack Attack, main eventing the very first NAPW on TFN episode as a champion!
JACK JONES: He calls himself 'The Greatest Wrestler on God's Green Earth,' and he's got the resume to back up that claim.
BILL HEWSON: Mixed reaction from the Calgary faithful, Astros one of the more controversial figures in NAPW. Love him or hate him, however, he IS the Heritage champion.
JACK JONES: For a few more minutes, Hewson.
Astros hits the ring. Referee John Sharplin has checked over Krenshov and does the same to Astros, then asks for the Heritage title. He presents it to Kenny, who's lust for gold is evident. The title gets displayed to the fans and then it's TIME.
DING DING DING
Kenny walks to the center of the ring, extending a hand to Astros? Donovan's face reads 'you gotta be kidding.' Kenny grins and says "come on, pal, let's do this HONORABLY.' Astros looks to take it SLAP. HARD SLAP right across the face of Kenny Krenshov and Astros spews some verbal venom. Krenshov snaps and fires a right at Astros, ducked and a shot from Astros! Astros with rapid shots to the massive Krenshov. Krenshov with another shot, Astros ducks and moves and nails a short dropkick to the knee of the big man. That stuns Krenshov, Astros hits the ropes --- Kenny recovers to throw a huge clothesline, Astros ducks, off the ropes FLYING FOREARM! That sends Kenny reeling backwards, but NOT off his feet. Astros hits the ropes again --- CASINO TRIPS HIM UP!
And the referee saw it clear as day. Sharplin yells at Casino, who pleads grinning innocence... and that just infuriates Sharplin and HE'S OUTTA THERE! REFEREE EJECTING CHRIS CASINO! Casino is furious and loses his cool, Sharplin steps to the floor and tells him to GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!
BILL HEWSON: John Sharplin levelling the playing field, Chris Casino is being ejected from ringside... we have to take a commercial break, when we return the Heritage Title match continues!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
BILL HEWSON: Welcome back fans to NAPW on The Fight Network. Before the break Kenny Krenshov's manager, the legendary Chris Casino, was ejected by the official. But as we can show you, Krenshov took advantage of the distraction!DURING THE BREAK: Krenshov nails Donovan Astros with a huge big boot!
JACK JONES: It's been all Krenshov for the past few minutes, Hewson!
Krenshov knocks Astros down with a big right hand and then drops an elbow. Cover gets two, Astros out well before three. Kenny cinches on a chinlock. Astros tries to work his way up, gets behind Kenny for a back suplex... the big man plants his weight and doesn't go anywhere. Astros throwing forearms into the small of Kenny's back trying to get free. Loose enough to run off and hit the ropes CAUGHT! Krenshov holds Astros like a sack of potatoes, then sends him flying with a big Fallaway slam! Cover gets two off of that, then Kenny whips Astros into the corner. CORNER SPLASH! Kenny turns and runs again ANOTHER splash he doesn't stop, circles, WHAM! A third corner splash from the three-hundred and fifty pounder! Kenny steps out and Astros slumps down in the corner. Kenny choking with his boot, standing on the bottom rope for good measure! One, two, three, four, broken.
BILL HEWSON: Krenshov has to be careful of the referee's count, he doesn't want to get disqualified in this all-important title match.
JACK JONES: Krenshov knows exactly what he's doing, Hewson --- he has til FIVE to break the hold. He's not just brawn, he's got brains to go with it!
Astros slowly getting up, grabbed by Kenny and sent flying with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex! Astros almost tumbles out of the ring but not quite. Kenny walks over to Astros... and STANDS ON HIS CHEST, reaching over to pull up the middle rope for extra leverage! The challenger breaks before the five count and then stands in the center of the ring with his arms out. The crowd boos ... and Kenny responds with a double middle-finger.
The champion is pulled up, he fights back! Right hands to the mid-section, stunning Kenny, but before Astros can muster any real offense the colossal Krenshov just hammers him down with a huge overhand blow across the back. Kenny grabs Astros by the head and just tosses him to the outside like he's nothing, then dusts his hands off and goes back to aggravating the crowd...
JACK JONES: Ahh! Turn around, Kenny!
BILL HEWSON: Donovan Astros skins the cat back in, all while Kenny worries more about angering this crowd! AND ASTROS FIRING AWAY!
Kenny turns around, snarls when he sees Astros RIGHT. THERE. Astros blocks his right hand, hits one of his own! Astros! Astros! Astros! The champion fighting for all he's worth! He tries to whip Krenshov off the ropes, Kenny uses his weight to reverse it! FLAPJACK TO ASTROS --- NO! COUNTERED --- ASTROLABE DDT FROM ASTROS ON KRENSHOV! WAIT A MINUTE! THE MARTYR'S CROSS!
BILL HEWSON: ASTROS GOING FOR THE MARTYR'S CROSS! THAT'S THE HOLD THAT WON HIM THE TITLE!
Astros has one arm, fighting for the other! Kenny trying to get out, but Astros starts ELBOWING HIM IN THE EFFING HEAD! He gets the arm, and Krenshov roars in pain! The crowd is jumping up and down, they want to see the monster give up! Kenny shakes his head no, but he's in a lot of pain! However, he's also six-foot-NINE, and able to inch himself closer, closer, and then hook a foot on the bottom rope to break the hold. Astros holds one a few seconds longer before breaking.
JACK JONES: Disqualify him, referee! Taking advantage of the count like that!
BILL HEWSON: You do realize the Heritage Title doesn't change hands on a disqualification, right?
JACK JONES: The right call by the referee!
BILL HEWSON: The champion looking to build on this momentum, he needs to find offense he can use on this mass of a man! So much of Astros' offense revolves around suplexes, lifting moves, but Krenshov is over three-hundred pounds!
And Donovan Astros knows it. That's why he's going for another Astrolabe DDT on the big man --- Kenny counters out and PALM STRIKE RIGHT TO THE CHEST SENDS ASTROS THROUGH THE ROPES!
JACK JONES: HOLY HELL!
The crowd freaks out as Kenny snarls. He goes outside the ring and looks for Astros, ramming him into the ring post. The champion stumbles to the floor. Sharplin making the count, Kenny can't win the belt outside. He picks Astros up and presses him up... WOW. AND THROUGH THE ROPES BACK IN! Kenny rolls in and drops a big leg across the back of Astros' head! Here's a cover ONE, TWO, NO! Kenny thought he had it!
Krenshov picks Astros up, cutting his throat with his thumb. It's over! Hooks his man up, TOTAL ECLIPSE --- Astros knees Kenny in the head while upside down! Kenny STILL holding him up, another knee right to the head! Astros drops down and boots Kenny in the gut, trying for the SLINGSHOT EFFECT? He can't get the big man up for that... and Kenny won't let him do it. Sudden burst of power from Krenshov and he rams Astros back-first into the corner. Kenny with a charge, RUNNING FOREARM SMASH --- Astros gets a boot up! Second turnbuckle, Astros leaps off with a diving forearm --- CAUGHT.
KRENSHOV TURNS HIM UP INTO THE TOTAL ECLIPSE!
He covers the champion ONE, TWO, THREE!
BILL HEWSON: WAIT A MINUTE! Donovan's foot is on the ropes! What a display of sheer POWER by Krenshov, turning the flying Astros into the Total Eclipse, but they were right by the ropes! The champion's veteran ring instinct saved the title!
JACK JONES: But he took a Total Eclipse! How much more can he have left?
Krenshov is PISSED. So pissed, he rolls OUT OF THE RING AND GRABS A STEEL CHAIR. The referee warns him, Krenshov gets on the ring apron with it. Sharplin telling Kenny to put it away, he'll disqualify him in a heartbeat!
BILL HEWSON: Krenshov knows he'll get disqualified, but I don't think he CARES, Jack Attack! He's furious that Astros got out of the Total Eclipse!
JACK JONES: Think of the title Kenny!
Krenshov looks to be waging an inner conflict as Astros slowly gets to his hands and knees...
BILL HEWSON: We all know about Kenny Krenshov's violent past, he is a man who struggles with controlling his inner demons... and... are you seeing what I'm seeing, Jack Attack? TABOO is limping to the ring!
JACK JONES: I'm shocked he's even walking!
BILL HEWSON: It was Taboo who Donovan Astros beat last week to regain the Heritage Title belt, why is he out here --- wait a minute! Taboo just yanked the chair away from Krenshov!
Krenshov snarls, the referee then tells Taboo to stay clear of this thing. Yet Taboo's efforts seemed to have cleared Kenny's mind! He ducks under the top --- ASTROS WITH A RUNNING KNEE TREMBLER RIGHT TO THE TEMPLE! Krenshov sags, what impact that was ASTROS GRABS HIM BY THE HEAD AND PULLS HIM BACK! KRENSHOV'S FEET ON THE MIDDLE ROPE! ... CONCUSSION CANNON! THE COVER ONE, TWO, THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner, and STILL HERITAGE CHAMPION... DONOVAN ASTROS!
BILL HEWSON: Astros retains the title!
JACK JONES: Krenshov just got screwed by Taboo!
BILL HEWSON: Taboo showing respect to both Donovan Astros and the championship itself, preventing Krenshov from an act of dishonor! What a main event! In one week, "The Show" Chad Kurtis will defend the NAPW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP against "The Star-Spangled Senstation" Steve Parker on NAPW on The Fight Network ... for Jack Jones this is Bill Hewson saying GOOD NIGHT!
Taboo slowly walks to the back, turning before the curtain to look back to the ring. He's clearly in a ton of pain. Astros locks eyes with Taboo. On the outside of the ring, Krenshov is on his knees, woozy...
Krenshov is ANGRY.
Lights down.
CREDITS: