JUSTIN CASE: You all may not remember me, as the one putting Mr. Hewson "into" his place the last time we met! You also may be wondering why the talented one is backstage while all the NAPW fans are awaiting my very existence. Instead yours truly has some things to address before I make my talented mark inside the NAPW squared circle. You see, I've been watching and anticipating this very moment so I could spread the word that the talented one is coming to a squared circle near you. But first I would like to say a few things...
Justin looks to the ground pondering his next comments and then looks back up.
JUSTIN CASE: You see, I've watched the last few weeks with voyeuristic intention. I'm "sizing" up my untalented competition. While you all are cheering for your Taboos and your Chad Kurtises... cheering the likes of your Kumquat Kids and your Bruce Richards. While you all aspire and admire those "kind" of untalented people... I on the other hand yours truly has been training saying my talented prayers and taking my talented vitamins. Only to find my competition is not on my high level of pure excellence. I am a Stu Hart Dungen graduate and a former world title holder in prior organizations. My plan?! SIMPLE! Take the likes of your Donovan Astros and take what's mine. His talented title!
But first I have to prove myself against the Kumtwat Kid the cartoon that he is. Like seriously he is what you would see on saturday morning TV!! And then you've got my grandpa Taboo, like really, Taboo needs a new hip and a damn hearing aid. Hes Old. I will end by saying this.
Justin smirks into the camera.
JUSTIN CASE: You can take your Bruce Richards "beastiallity" man, your Terry Brandon "politically correct" man. I'm your IT man and I have the IT factor!! I'm not inside this show tonight because simply put, I am the talented show!! When I make my presence felt inside a NAPW ring then and ONLY then will you know I'm going to do what exactly I say Im going to do. I'm gonna win my belt and move up the talented ladder here in the NAPW. I'll start from zero and become your talented hero... NOT!! I'm not here for you I'm here strictly for me. Justin Case you didnt know, I rule this (BLEEP) show!
Case pauses, then makes his exit. The camera zooms in on the NAPW logo behind him... then fades out.
MUSIC: "Hero" - Skillet
A smartly edited and edgy montage of NAPW wrestlers in action or posing fires up! Every member of the current roster is highlighted until finally, we get a shot of the CK FINALE --- and the world champion, "THE SHOW" CHAD KURTIS holding his belt high before the "NAPW on TFN" logo takes over the screen. Transition immediately into the POLISH HALL in Edmonton, Alberta where hundreds of fans are crowded in and hyped for up for the very first NAPW on TFN from the province's capital! "Monster" continues playing as the camera cuts to the venerable NAPW announce team at ringside...
JACK JONES: So after that, they explain to me that "ice dancing" is a lot different than what I thought it was.
BILL HEWSON: Didn't you run the risk of frostbite?
JACK JONES: I'm a gentleman, Hewson. I brought a blanket.
BILL HEWSON: ... wrestling fans, welcome to New Alberta Pro Wrestling on The Fight Network! I'm Bill Hewson alongside Jack "Attack" Jones! We are coming to you from The Polish Hall in Edmonton Alberta, and we have four matches coming your way tonight! In a big tag team match, Heritage Champion Donovan Astros teams up with Taboo to take on Kenny Krenshov and for one-night-only, NAPW Ring of Prestige member Chris Casino! The Tag Titles are on the line as well, when the O'Connor Boys defend their belts against The Freak Show in a TABLES MATCH!
JACK JONES: Don't forget the main event, Hewson! It's Falls Count Anywhere and we do mean ANYWHERE. They could fight to the Legislature Fountain!
BILL HEWSON: Rodderick MacCulloch and Jeffrey Roberts look to settle their score once and for all here tonight! But right now, let's send it to our ring announcer Frank Warburton and get this show on the road!
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from St. Albert, Alberta, weighing in at two hundred and sixty-eight pounds...BRUCE RICHARDS!
"Life's Been Good To Me" by Joe Walsh hits, and there is an adequately-sized pop for Bruce "Just Bruce" Richards.
BILL HEWSON: Bruce down a couple of pounds this week, Jack Attack.
JACK JONES: He's wasting away! SKIN AND BONES!
The mellow rock is replaced by the Dropkick Murphys, and Lloyd Rees enters the ring to a much louder pop.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent, weighing in at two hundred and forty-three pounds, from Wabana, Bell Island, Newfoundland...LLOYD REES!
Referee Morgan Smythe calls for the bell, and we are on! The two men lock up in the middle of the ring, Lloyd Rees coming out ahead, going for the Wabana Buster--no! Bruce Richards reverses into a German Suplex! But Lloyd Rees lands on his feet!! And now he goes for the Bulldog on Bruce Richards! Richards is down, and Rees goes for a quick cover, Richards with the quick kick-out at one. Both men back up, and taking their breath, smiling at each other. But just for a moment, and then they lock up again, this time with Bruce coming out on top. Bruce quickly locks in for a Cobra Clutch--BOMB! Bruce with the quick cover, Rees kicks out at one, and both men are on their feet again.
BILL HEWSON: Both men coming fast and furious tonight!
Lloyd Rees charges Bruce, who stops him with a HARD chop to the chest--no, Lloyd Rees ducks it and fires off a chop at Bruce when he turns around! Richards follows up with a chop of his own, with interest. Rees chops, Bruce chops, so many chops it's like a night at the Outback Steakhouse! Bruce with one hard chop that sends Lloyd Rees back a step, and Lloyd Rees rushes back with a flying cross body--CAUGHT BY BRUCE! Bruce hoists him up into the torture rack--REES REVERSES INTO A DDT! A modified DDT from the Green and now Lloyd Rees goes for the cover, one, two--Bruce kicks up! And Bruce hoists Lloyd Rees up, locking into a belly to belly suplex-WITH A BRIDGE!! One, two--Rees kicks out, scrambles to his feet with a quick dropkick, and now with the cover on Richards! One, two--BRUCE ROLLS OVER! One, two--REES ROLLS OVER!! ONE, TWO, THREE!!
Wait. Three?
Bruce kicks out and gets to his feet, but Morgan Smythe is calling for the bell.
DING DING DING.
BILL HEWSON: What?
JACK JONES: WHAT?
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner...LLLLLOYYYD REEEES!
The crowd is stunned, but Lloyd Rees is the winner of the match! He scrambles up the turnbuckle and raises his fists in ecstacy, meanwhile Bruce Richards is arguing with Morgan Smythe. "WHAT THE HECK, MORGAN!?!" Smythe shaking her head at Bruce, sticking by her guns.
BILL HEWSON: I don't believe it, Jack Attack! A fast and furious match, near-falls everywhere, but that was a surprise to everyone!
JACK JONES: Bruce trying to show everyone a more technical side tonight, but he just doesn't have the edge any more, Hewson.
BILL HEWSON: Well I don't know if I agree with that, Jack, but one thing is for certain: Lloyd Rees gets two points in the Canada Cup standings, but more importantly, he gets a much-needed win! We've got to head to commercial, folks, but stay tuned: more excitement to come tonight on NAPW on TFN!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Fade in from commercial. Bruce Richards is still in the ring, a disappointed look on his face. He moves to step out, when a voice rings out through the Polish Hall.VOICE: Bruce! Bruce, where are you going?
Bruce looks around.
BILL HEWSON: That voice sounds familiar.
VOICE: Come on, Bruce! You call that a match?
As Bruce and the crowd look around, a man makes his way down the aisle, carrying a hot dog. A man the fans recognize... and respond to hugely as it dawns on them who it is.
STYLIN' KYLE ROBERTS: Now, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but the concession area was filled with a good one-third of the audience. Has it come to this? Has it come to the point where Bruce Richards against Lloyd Rees is considered a BATHROOM BREAK? Come on!
BILL HEWSON: It is! That's Kyle Roberts!
STYLIN' KYLE ROBERTS: I had to wait ten minutes in line for this hot dog, Bruce! Ten minutes! Granted, it could be due to the fatass over there in line in front of me.
The camera cuts to Big Mitch, sitting at the ringbell table, with three hamburgers, two hot dogs and a bag of popcorn on a tray. He looks around, and shrugs, a "Who, me?" expression on his face.
STYLIN' KYLE ROBERTS: But, really, Bruce. Asses leaving the seats during the match of two of the greatest NAPW wrestlers? How far have you sunk? Is this really where a former NAPW World Champion is relegated to? Tenth place in the Canada Cup standings? Tsk tsk tsk. What have you become? Where have you hidden The Beast?
Some of the crowd is buzzing with excitement, some are booing the man.
BILL HEWSON: For those of you who haven't been following NAPW for that long, that man is Stylin' Kyle Roberts. A two-time REBEL-Pro World Champion. And, more importantly in this case, the former tag team partner of Bruce Richards!
JACK JONES: The New and Improved D-X! Sometimes I loved them, sometimes I couldn't STAND them, but no matter how you looked at it, they DOMINATED the tag team division, not only in NAPW, but any tournament they entered. And now? Is Bruce washed up? Kyle Roberts sems to think so!
BILL HEWSON: Stop putting words into the man's mouth!
STYLIN' KYLE ROBERTS: (looking at a guy who's standing up and booing right in his face) Hey, who's got the mic here? Me. Who flew in from Vancouver to see for himself that Bruce Richards has shut that inner fire, that drive that made him the top of the heap? Yours truly. Tell you what, jackass, when YOU become a member of the Ring of Prestige, THEN you can boo me. Right now? Get to steppin'.
He turns his attention back to Bruce, standing in the ring, a little bewildered.
STYLIN' KYLE ROBERTS: I heard the buzz. I heard that Bruce Richards hasn't been winning the matches like he used to. And I've been down that road as well. You feel like you just can't get a break. You start to wonder if it's the way you're doing things, if you need to change it up in order to get back on the horse. Apparently, you thought it was. You thought you needed to get in touch with that inner calm self. But answer me this, Bruce: Did it work?
Bruce frowns at Kyle, who steps into the ring.
STYLIN' KYLE ROBERTS: I came in from Vancouver! Party central! You know what I've been doing since the LAST time I was in Edmonton two years ago? Public relations for Vancouver 2010! Do you know what that entails? Do you know what I sacrificed in order to came back to NAPW, just to see exactly the kind of shape Bruce Richards was in? Thousands of Olympic-caliber athletic cuties from every nation in the world! I missed the afterparty for Jenn Heil's silver medal celebration, after two years of chipping away at her relationship with her coach? I gave up medal-worthy nookie for you, Bruce! I gave up partying with the Norwegian female snowboarding team for my old tag team partner! And what have I learned here tonight? I'll tell you. I'll tell ALL of you!
Kyle gets right into the face of Bruce Richards.
STYLIN' KYLE ROBERTS: I got to see a man who's lost the fire. A man who's lost the desire. A man that can't win to save his life, so he gets an ADD-riddled fourth-rate clone of yours truly in order to win a match.
"Ooooohhhhh!" from the crowd.
JACK JONES: Finally! Someone has the stones to say it to Richards' face!
STYLIN' KYLE ROBERTS: I want the Beast. Every single person in this hall wants the Beast. I want the former NAPW World Champion to get up, dust himself off, and rip the jugular out of every man he faces. And if it has to start with me, Bruce, then so be it. Whatever it takes to stoke that fire in your belly. I'll take one for the team, if that's what it takes to take this sad sack away. What do you say, Bruce? WHAT DO YOU SAY?
Bruce swipes the microphone out of the hand of Roberts, as a flash of anger lights up his eyes. He breathes heavily into the microphone, but he take a cleansing breath, and the pent-up anger drains away from his shoulders and face.
BRUCE RICHARDS: I say no.
Bruce drops the mic and exits the ring.
BILL HEWSON: Bruce Richards knows what he's able to do as the Beast, Jack. He knows it can get people hurt.
JACK JONES: Screw that! He's a shell of the man he once was!
BILL HEWSON: Would you say that to his face, Jack Attack?
JACK JONES: What with the who now?
Kyle looks at the retreating figure of Bruce Richards, shakes his head and picks up the microphone.
STYLIN' KYLE ROBERTS: You say that now, Bruce. It just means I'm going to have to step up my efforts. I'm going to have to take swipes at the chinks in your armour. But I will bring the Beast back, Bruce. I'm going this to save you from yourself! (in a singing raspy falsetto) You know it's true! Everything I do! I do it for Bruce!
Kyle stands in the ring as the fans give him a mixed reaction, some cheering the Stylin' One's return, others not liking what he had to say. Cut to the announce desk.
BILL HEWSON: Stylin' Kyle Roberts first appearance at an NAPW event in probably two years!
JACK JONES: Called it.
BILL HEWSON: You didn't call it, nobody predicted this turn of events --- you know what? Never mind. Fans, after a tremendous but controversial World Title match last week, NAPW has decided that a rematch will take place next week here on NAPW on TFN! Right now, Josh Reynolds is with the challenger in that particular match. Josh?
Cut backstage to Josh Reynolds in front of the NAPW banner.
JOSH REYNOLDS: Thanks, Bill. Folks, last week, the NAPW World Title was defended for the first time on NAPW on TFN, with an epic bout that ended with both men pinning each other's shoulders to the mat, resulting in a draw. As a result, next week here on The Fight Network, we will have a rematch, only this time, there must be a winner. So don't forget to tune in next week, as "The Show" Chad Kurtis faces off, once again, with the man I have with me here backstage, "The Star Spangled Sensation" Steve Parker.
A suit-and-tie-sporting Steve Parker starts to walk into the shot with his awards in hand, but stops halfway, shooting Josh a hard stare. A few seconds of awkward silence passes before Parker breaks his gaze long enough to use his eyes to gesture to plaques. Josh lets out a sigh.
JOSH REYNOLDS: I mean, "Two-Time Award Winning Star Spangled Sensation" Steve Parker.
The Smile responds silently, spreading wide across Parker's face. He fully walks into the shot and faces the camera.
JOSH REYNOLDS: Now, Steve, you must be awfully disappointed that you weren't able to capture last week here on The Fight Network.
STEVE PARKER: Disappointed? I couldn't be more elated! Last week, I proved a very important point: Chad Kurtis couldn't beat me.
JOSH REYNOLDS: Umm... but you didn't beat him either.
STEVE PARKER: Well, right, but he didn't beat me...
JOSH REYNOLDS: You weren't able to win the title, though...
Steve Parker sighs, exasperated. He turns to Josh and glares at him sternly, the Smile vanishing for the moment.
STEVE PARKER: Josh... come on, man. Does everything have to be a debate with you? It makes you come across as tacky, especially while we're on television. Do you want the world to think you have no tact? Have some dignity, you're a supposed broadcast journalist, for Crimminy's sake. Now, just let me finish.
Parker turns back to the camera, letting the Smile return.
STEVE PARKER: Well, maybe I should rephrase my point for the simpler minds out there. Sure, the referee was not in a good enough position to see the my shoulder was clearly off of the mat, but that's his problem, being a sub-par official and all. Either way, "The Show" also had his shoulders on the mat, and he couldn't respond to the three-count. You know what that mean, Josh? It means that, technicalities aside, I had Chad Kurtis pinned. I am the first man in several months to keep his shoulders down, and that speaks volumes. Moral of the story is that the "invincible" title reign of one Mr. Kurtis just got it's first blemish, showing that he can, in fact, be defeated. That's all the motivation I need to take the title that is rightfully mine!
JOSH REYNOLDS: So it goes without saying that you feel pretty confident going into next week's match.
STEVE PARKER: Wow, you are a little smarter than I gave you credit for, Josh. You see, looking through our history, with every match that has passed between us, he's had a harder time coming out on top, relying on more desperate tactics to get the win. Last week, there was no excuse: he could not finish me off. Logic dictates that this next match... is all mine. This time, there will be no excuses, no referees in the wrong position, no shoddy counting. There must be a winner, Chad, and seeing how you've been slipping as of late, it isn't looking like that man is going to be you. You may be "The Show", but with the way things are going, you might as well call me "The Show-Stealer". See you next week, Chad.
Parker shoulder-checks Josh as he leaves the camera lens' view. Josh pulls himself together and takes center-shot.
JOSH REYNOLDS: Well, as always, it's never a dull moment when Steve Parker shares what's on his mind with us, and tonight was no different. That's Chad Kurtis versus Steve Parker next week right here on NAPW on TFN, and there must be a winner. Bill, back to you.
BILL HEWSON: Confident words from the #1 Contender to the World Championship, heading into next week's match.
JACK JONES: Steve Parker is the uncrowned champion of NAPW, Hewson. It's only right that he gets another shot so quickly after that travesty of last week!
"AND I AM FINALLY FREE!"
Hewson doesn't respond as 30 Seconds to Mars kicks up. The fans boo as Kenny Krenshov (w/'True Honor' Championship) and Chris Casino (w/REBEL Pro Carolinas Championship) make their way through the curtain.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following tag team match is set for one fall! Introducing first, the team of CHRIS CASINO... and KENNY KRENSHOV!
BILL HEWSON: A formidable team right here... the big tag team match is up NEXT.
Casino and Krenshov egg on fans and soak in boos as NAPW on TFN goes to commercial.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Casino & Krenshov are in the ring, looking smug..."ALL EYES ON ME!"
FRANK WARBURTON: And now, their opponents! Introducing first from Los Angeles California... he is the NAPW Canadian Heritage Champion, DONOVAN ASTROS!
BILL HEWSON: Donovan Astros has a history with both men standing in the ring... it's not one of hearts and flowers.
JACK JONES: THEY REALLY HATE EACH OTHER. Why do you have to be so OBTUSE?
Astros, no fool, waits at the end of the aisle.
DROWNING POOL!
MEGA POP!
FRANK WARBURTON: And his partner! From Boulder Colorado, he is TABOO!
BILL HEWSON: Taboo showing tremendous guts, week in and week out, he's done it all here in NAPW! But we all know how bad his back is, any match could be his last!
JACK JONES: I hope it's tonight, then I won't have to see the ugly bastard out here anymore!
Taboo and Astros hit the ring and immediately Kenny and Casino jump them. The ref calls for the bell! Casino and Kenny whip their foes off the ropes. Clotheslines are ducked! Astros and Taboo explode off the opposite ropes with clotheslines! Astros takes Casino down, Krenshov still on his feet. Taboo throws right hands, Kenny with a big blow to stun him. He goes to pick the man up, but it's Donovan Astros connecting with a chop block to the back of the knee! Kenny drops Taboo, who hits the ropes and lariats Krenshov, knocking him to the ropes. Double clothesline sends Kenny out of the ring! Krenshov audibly curses as Casino tries to calm the big man down.
BILL HEWSON: They're not friends, but there is a measure of respect between Astros and Taboo. Not to mention Astros' huge ego... he doesn't LIKE losing and that alone means he will work with his partner here tonight!
Casino tells Kenny to take a breather and takes his spot as the legal man in, Kenny on the outside. Astros ties up with him, Taboo on the outside. Hammerlock takedown by Astros. Casino fights up, goes for a suplex, Astros blocks and delivers a snap suplex. He tags in Taboo, who comes in and launches off with a Taboo press! CLUBBERING! Casino covers up as Taboo rains down blows. The referee tells him to open the fists and back off. Taboo lets Casino up, then charges back in even as Casino dives to the ropes for safety. Referee Uruburu tells Taboo to stay off the man in the ropes, giving Casino the chance to tag in Krenshov.
Taboo charges Krenshov, but it proves to be an unwise decision as he gets spiked to the canvas! Kenny stomps on Taboo, then lifts the man up by the throat with both hands. Holds him up high... then slams him to the canvas. Kenny walks on Taboo's back, all his weight on the man! Pain on Taboo's face. Kenny picks the man up, into the corner. Big forearm across the chest. CHOP.
BILL HEWSON: The powerhouse Krenshov methodically taking Taboo apart here!
JACK JONES: It ends tonight, Hewson, I can feel it! Taboo's career is OVER.
Krenshov gets a charge CORNER SPLASH! Another round SPLASH! Another one! Taboo is so much roadkill as he slumps in the turnbuckle. Krenshov pulls him and whips across the ring, Taboo hits backfirst and pretty much crumbles as he comes out, screaming in pain. Astros doesn't look impressed, yells for a tag. Krenshov toes Taboo, smug, then raises an arm high as he stands on Taboo's back. BOOOOO. Kenny tags in Casino, who comes in picks Taboo up... double underhook backbreaker! More damage to the back of Taboo. Casino covers, gets two. He tags Krenshov in, then hooks Taboo and delivers a Brainbuster Suplex! Kenny drops a big elbow on the fallen Boulder from Boulder, getting one, two, shoulder up. Kenny with a forearm, picks Taboo up and --- TABOO FIGHTING BACK! RIGHT HANDS! Taboo off the ropes, looking for a LARIATO... Kenny scoops him up. FALLAWAY SLAM halfway across the ring! Krenshov claps his hands to say "that easy!", then tags in Casino. Casino goes to the top rope...
FLYING ELBOW DROP!
JACK JONES: Picture perfect!
BILL HEWSON: That's gotta be all, one, two, th--- Astros makes the save! Taboo NEEDS to make the tag, for this match... for his career!
Casino waits for Taboo to get up... Taboo turns...
SUPERKICK
DUCKED
LARIATOOOOOOO!
BILL HEWSON: Whatta clothesline! Casino folded inside out, but Taboo can't capitalize! Can he make the tag?
JACK JONES: Not before Casino does!
The crowd rallying, clapping, cheering Taboo on as Astros reaches out the hand for the tag. Taboo crawls, every inch searing pain through his spine. Casino staggers up, not sure of where he is, but makes the groggy tag to Krenshov. The big man in the ring goes to pull Taboo back from the corner... BUT NOT BEFORE TABOO MAKES A LEAPING TAG TO ASTROS!
BILL HEWSON: Astros is in the ring, the Heritage Champion taking it to Krenshov!
JACK JONES: Oh no!
Astros with right hands, right hands, staggering the big man but not taking him down. He hits the ropes --- Krenshov unlesahes the Big Ass Palm Strike! But the Heritage Champ had it scouted and and rolls around Krenshov with a schoolboy! One, two, Krenshov gets out! Astros with a quick kick before Kenny is fully up, doubling him over for the ASTROLABE DDT! Nails it! Casino dives into the ring to break up the pinfall! He hooks up Astros for Bankrupt, but Astros counters and gets behind! AZTECAN SUPLEX! Astros turns around BIG BOOT. He folds! Krenshov picks Astros up... Overhead belly to belly release suplex! Kenny covers the heritage champion! ONE! TWO! Astros gets the shoulder up!
Kenny picks up Astros, signalling for Total Eclipse, but shoves his man off when he sees Taboo running into the ring. Taboo with a Taboo press! Kenny stumbles, but doesn't go down... until Astros leaps up and delivers a LUNGBLOWER! Taboo rolls to his corner again as Astros makes a cover. One, two --- BIG KICK-OUT! Astros tags in Taboo, and now it's a double-team. They double Kenny over, DOUBLE DDT! Taboo covers Krenshov one, two, CASINO SAVES! Standing dropkick knocks Taboo out of the ring! Astros takes exception to Chris Casino... well, EXISTING and comes in. He looks for the Slingshot Effect as the ref loses all control of the contest, but Casino flips out! Astros spins around ---
SUPERKICK
CONNECTS
ON KRENSHOV!
Astros ducked out of the way and Casino inadvertantly clipped a rising Krenshov! Kenny is swaying on his feet as Astros tackles Casino and they tumble out of the ring --- LARIATOOOOO! TABOO OUT OF NOWHERE WITH A HUGE LARIAT TO KENNY! THE BIG MAN FINALLY OFF HIS FEET! Taboo pulls the legs up in a tight pin and gets one, two, THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners, DONOVAN ASTROS and TABOOOO!
BILL HEWSON: Taboo and Astros did it! Chris Casino was right on target with that superkick, but the WRONG target as Astros moved! That opened the door for Taboo to unleash the biggest lariat he's ever thrown for the three-count---
KENNY KRENSHOV: (BLEEP) THIS!
Krenshov, erm, has the microphone. To say he's pissed off would be an understatement as Taboo and Astros look on from the aisle.
KENNY KRENSHOV: Astros, you keep that title belt warm because I'm coming for it soon enough! Enjoy it while it lasts... but YOU. Taboo, you son of a bitch, you think you get a lucky pinfall on me it MEANS something? NEXT WEEK. Me and you, ONE-ON-ONE, no partners, no dirtbag astros, just you and me... and I. WILL. END YOU.
Krenshov throws the microphone down, holding his head. Taboo is yelling from the aisle "YOU WANT IT, YOU GOT IT." They staredown as NAPW heads to commercial.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
BILL HEWSON: You were really the first host of Unsolved Mysteries?JACK JONES: Yeah, check Wikipedia.
BILL HEWSON: I did... the article says it was recently edited by by JJones69@aol.com.
JACK JONES: Who the heck is that?
BILL HEWSON: I don't know, but it's time for us to watch one of the matches we've been waiting all week for, the tables match between champions Seamus and Sean O'Connor and challengers, NAPW newcomers the Freak Show.
"Seamless" by American Head Charge.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The Freak jumps through the curtain and bangs his dread-locked head to the music, daring the fans to boo him. He points backwards and his bigger partner in crime, Shut Down, ducks his head and comes out of the NAPW on FTV curtain. Shut Down has t-shirt duty, throwing out complementary shirts to a few (un)lucky fans, the front with "We Pity Them Fools" and the back with an old picture of the O'Connor Boys in the remnants of a table.
FRANK WARBURTON: First, the challengers, from Anywhere and Everywhere, at a combined weight of five hundred and thirty pounds... The Freak and Shut Down... THE FREAK SHOW!
The Freak slides into the ring as Shut Down continues lumbering towards the ring. He runs off of the ropes, showing an incredible amount of energy. He points to his belt and calls out the O'Connor Boys.
Creed!
POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPP!
No time for the O'Connor Boys to slap the extended hands... they BOOK it down to the ring, going right after Shut Down as he enters the ring.
FRANK WARBURTON: The NAPW World Tag Team Champions, from Boston, Massachusetts, weighing a combined three-hundred pounds... Sean and Seamus O'Connor... the O'CONNOR BOYS!
Shut Down tries to fight them off but the champs send forth a flurry of fists stopping him in his tracks but not taking him down. But they won't take him down --- because The Freak runs off of the ropes and plancha to the outside, taking down all three men, including his partner! The fans boo The Freak but cheer the immediacy of the match at hand. The Freak gets to his feet first. He sees Seamus rising. He runs in with The Rush! Seamus, able to stand, is knocked back towards the guard rail from the flurry of moves, but Seamus is able to seize his leg. Dragonscrew leg whip on the cement! Not only does the Freak's back slam against the ground, but his head hits the bottom of the railing! Big cheers for Seamus that turns to quickly to boos as Shut Down runs in with a Big Boot that nearly takes Seamus' head off. Shut Down turns around, only to eat an Asai moonsault from Sean O'Connor! Sean gets to his feet and fist pumps to the fans who respond in kind. He reaches under the ring... he's pulling out our first table of the evening! He begins setting it up.
BILL HEWSON: These two teams certainly wasted no time!
JACK JONES: Can't say the same for you.
Sean sets the table up. The Freak is just getting to his feet. Sean runs in and thrust kicks The Freak, who is able to duck under it. A kick to Sean's gut! He picks Sean up. Powerbomb through the table --- no! Sean reverses into a frankensteiner which puts The Freak ONTO the table but not THROUGH it... Sean hops onto the guardrail, going for another moonsault, this one through the table , but he's caught by the throat by Shut Down! Shut Down has him up for a choke slam. The Freak rolls off of the table. Out of nowhere is Seamus O'Connor --- SPEARING the more-than-two-times-as-large Shut Down with the fastest, most agile spear ever seen on Canadian television, knocking both him and his brother to the ground away from the table. But as soon as Seamus stands, The Freak hits him a buzzsaw kick, sending him flying back onto the table. The Freak climbs up onto the ring apron.
BILL HEWSON: My God! He's going for the Sight Unseen to the outside!
JACK JONES: The Freak is the greatest signing since me!
But Seamus O'Connor stands up... on the table! He gives the middle finger to The Freak who obviously can't perform the maneuver now. The Freak looks perplexed then leaps off with a flying clothesline but Seamus catches him in mid-air with a missile dropkick! Seamus falls to the ground right next to Shut Down as he stands. He kicks Seamus in the gut. Has him up for a powerbomb! Sean O'Connor re-enters the melee, leaping up onto Shut Down back and parading fists down upon his head, trying to do something --- anything --- to prevent his brother from being power bombed through the table! But he is not successful! POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Seamus O'Connor has been eliminated!
JACK JONES: Halfway there, boys!
BILL HEWSON: Quite an advantage now for the challengers, the Freak Show, but if there is any word that defines the O'Connor Boys, it's resilience!
JACK JONES: Is it really? I'd pick shower.
Sean swears his ass off, frustrated with himself, but his thoughts are interrupted when Shut Down snap mares him to the ground, knocking every bit of wind out of him. The Freak and Shut Down pick up Sean O'Connor and roll him into the ring. The Freak grabs another table from underneath the ring and slides it in after Sean. Shut Down steps over the top-rope and enters the ring, followed by The Freak. Sean rises to his feet and signals that he wants to take both competitors on at the same time!
JACK JONES: He has a death wish!
The Freak Show run at him. He slides between Shut Down's legs, gets up behind him and dropkicks him right in the ass, sending Shut Down to the mat! The fans cheer as he calls for The Freak. They run at each other and lock-up. The Freak with an arm ringer, but it's reversed by Sean! Sean O'Connor, holding onto the wrist of his opponent, cartwheels... into a superkick!
BILL HEWSON: An amazing maneuver! Every week, these O'Connor Boys bring us something new!
Shut Down runs in for a lariat, ducked by Sean O'Connor! O'Connor off of the ropes, cross body block, caught by Shut Down! Shut Down going for the Shake Machine! NO! NO! NO! REVERSED! Reversed into a FLYING DDT in the middle of the ring! Sean sets up the table in the ring. He picks up the Freak and puts him on it. But the Freak hits him with a back elbow! Another! The Freak and Sean exchange fists! The Freak with a headbutt. Now he's going for another Rush! Out of nowhere Sean O'Connor hits him with a chinbreaker, stopping him in his tracks. Sean grabs The Freak's hair and facebusters him across his knees! He picks him up, puts him back on the table... but here comes Shut Down! Forearm shots to the back of Sean. He picks up Sean... HUGE belly-to-back suplex! Shut Down slaps The Freak back to consciousness. They exchange short words. Shut Down picks up Sean and hits him with a backbreaker, which he holds in place, pushing down on him like Bane on Batman! Meanwhile, The Freak goes up top... TOP ROPE LEG DROP TO THE EXPOSED THROAT OF SEAN O'CONNOR!
BILL HEWSON: That move is just disgusting! Seeing his adam's apple hit sends a shiver up my spine, J.J.!
JACK JONES: My ex-wife had a horrible adam's apple, just terrible.
Shut Down puts Sean O'Connor up on his shoulders. The Freak goes back up top.
BILL HEWSON: Big Top Insanity... THROUGH THE TABLE?
JACK JONES: Christmas is here early! Or... would it be late? Either way, heck yeah!
The Freak is about to jump --- when Seamus O'Connor rears his ugly head! He hops up onto the turnbuckle with him. Grabs the back of his neck. TOP-ROPE NECKBREAKER... to the OUTSIDE! And it clearly hurt Seamus too, as he rolls around, holding his bony ass. Meanwhile, Sean O'Connor has managed to fight his way off of Shut Down's shoulders. He fires a torrent of kicks at his legs, trying to knock the big man down. But Shut Down responds with a huge fist! A second sends Sean reeling. Sean with a dropkick to the mid-section of the big man! FLYING ELBOW! FLYING ELBOW! Shut Down falls to one knee. Sean runs off of the ropes... Superkick to Shut Down! Sean with a plancha that takes out both Seamus and The Freak! Everyone is down for a good thirty seconds before the O'Connors and The Freak begin stirring. On the outside, Sean and The Freak are exchanging blows when all of the sudden The Freak shoots forth a low kick to the champion's Irish jewels! Followed by a drop toe hold into the guard rail.
BILL HEWSON: Hey! What the hell is The Freak doing? What did he just pull out of his tights!
JACK JONES: My God, I love this guy! He just handcuffed that little punk and gangbanger, Sean O'Connor, to the guard rail!
BILL HEWSON: Disgraceful! Why can't he fight evenly?
JACK JONES: Oh, please. That's not the first and won't be the last time an O'Connor Boy is handcuffed!
In the ring, Seamus O'Connor has Shut Down on the table. He is going for some type of maneuver when The Freak runs up and joins him on the turnbuckle! Punch, punch... sunset flip powerbomb THROUGH THE TABLE, Shut Down moves in the nick of time! The Freak begins cheering. He picks up Shut Down and raises his arms in the air, only to draw the explanation of the referee and the laughter of the crowd --- it was the WRONG brother! Seamus had already been eliminated! The Freak has a hissy fit for a moment before Shut Down explains it to him. The Freak looks worried and explains to Shut Down that he has handcuffed Sean to the railing!
"Where's the Key?"
Shut Down grabs Seamus and brings him to the outside as The Freak looks around ringside for the key. Twenty seconds pass... He finds it! They untie Sean and lock up Seamus but Sean slips out of their reach. He reaches under the ring and pulls out a table and throws it at The Freak as he is chased. Instinctively, The Freak grabs it, only to have Sean cross body block him and the table to the ground, sandwiching him! Sean stands, ducks a blow from Shut Down, atomic drop to the Big Man! Bulldog to Shut Down! Sean sets up the table. Shining Wizard to The Freak as he tries to stand! He picks up The Freak and snapmares him onto the table. He climbs up onto the railing... He is about to jump in the air when Shut Down stands up and he has to switch plans. Flying backfist to Shut Down! Sean jumps onto Shut Down's back, jumps off of it, lands on the guard rail and jumps again... Triple Jump Moonsault to The Freak!
FRANK WARBURTON: THE FREAK HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
The move appears to have injured Sean. He holds his lower back as Shut Down reaches under the ring. Sean gets to his feet, looking wobbly. Shut Down has a table in his hands.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!
Across the face of Sean! And we have BLOOD! Shut Down sets up the table. He picks up Sean. SHAKE MACHINE! NO! NO! Sean with fists of fury! FISTS OF FURY! HEADSCISSORS! HEADSCISSORS! Shut Down lands on his back but springs up, Undertaker-style, only to be dropkicked in the face, sending him back down! The fans are solidly behind Sean O'Connor as blood drips down his forehead. He raises a fist out to them and they respond with chants for him and his brother. Fist pump to Seamus. Seamus cheers on his brother as he grabs a steel chair. He brings it across the back of Shut Down who continues to stand up. He steps back, swings for the fences... but Shut Down catches it! Shut Down brings it across the skull of Sean! Sean stumbles back... then falls directly onto the table! He's totally out! Shut Down walks forward and pushes him onto the center of the table. The Freak gets to his feet, climbs up the Big Man. 450 Splash off of his shoulders THROUGH THE TABLE!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Seamus O'Connor looks on helplessly, screaming at the top of his lungs as Frank Warburton grabs the mic.
FRANK WARBURTON: Your winners... and NEW NAPW World Tag Team Champions... the FREAK SHOW!
American Head Charge kicks back up as the NEW tag champs receive their belts, holding them high. In the ring Sean O'Connor is unconscious in the wreckage of a table as Seamus kicks the guardrail, trying to break free of the STEEL cuffs. The crowd is tossing garbage in the ring, disgusted by The Freak Show's antics ---
BOOM! Pyrotechnic sparks blast from the four ring posts, startling the referee, Frank Warburton, and The Freak Show. The NAPW employees in the ring all look at each other in some confusion, The Freak clutching his newly won championship close to his chest.
BILL HEWSON: What in the hell was that?
JACK JONES: I don't know, but the Polish Hall looks like my living room after a long night of bingeing with all of this smoke.
Suddenly a security guard flies through the entrance way and lands face first on the floor. Following him walks out a fat bearded lady, dragging another security guard behind her. She picks the guard up, presses him over her head, and onto the other security guard!
BILL HEWSON: I remember that... thing! She was with that clown last week.
And like clock work, the clown emerges. No shirt, sack-cloth pants with suspenders, and white makeup smeared all over his face down to his neck and exceeded to the back of his shaved head. The Freak Show both look concerned, ready for a potential scuffle. A microphone emerges in the nameless clown's hand.
CLOWN: That was some impressive stuff... boys. Maybe you saw me last week during my in ring business discussion with Mister Brandon... maybe not. Just know that I'm watching, and I like what I see.
BILL HEWSON: Damnit, we have to go to commercial. Who is this guy, and what does he want with the Freak Show!?
COMMERCIAL BREAK
JACK JONES: I tell you, Bill, you've got to try these delicious Hostess Fruit Pies!BILL HEWSON: Jack, you've had those fruit pies in your pockets for three days no. I'll pass.
JACK JONES: Hey, I don't even need to microwave 'em this way!
BILL HEWSON: ... fans, we've seen it all here tonight. The return of Stylin' Kyle Roberts to an NAPW ring! New Tag Team champions! Another bizarre appearance by this harlequin character... but tonight, in our main event, a very personal score will be settled. It will be the masochistic JEFFREY ROBERTS squaring off against the one and only RODDY MAC... Falls Count ANYWHERE.
Video package for the fans at home. Slo-mo with inspiring music. Flash of Roddy and his brother, MacCulloch as tag team champions.
LETHAL LOTTERY. A smiling Jeffrey Roberts teams with MacCulloch --- CLOTHESLINE FROM BEHIND! FAST FRAME RATE B&W! ROBERTS PUTS A CHAIR AROUND MAC'S ANKLE! SSG! SNAP! RODDY HITS THE RING!
RODDY & ROBERTS! RODDY NAILS ROBERTS WITH A (PIXELATED) DILDO!
ROBERTS PUTS RODDY THROUGH A TABLE WITH THE SSG! JABS A PEN IN RODDY'S FOREHEAD AND SIGNS A CONTRACT!
BLACK THURSDAY V: VIOLENCE! STAPLES! BARBED WIRE! DILDOS! BARBED-WIRED DILDO TO THE EYES, ROBERTS GETS THREE!
LATER: RODDY WITH ROBERTS TIED TO A CHAIR! MENACING HIM! CAMERA GOES DARK! ROBERTS EXITS THE ROOM STAINED WITH BLOOD!
JANUARY 25th: RODDY MAC REFEREES KURTIS vs ROBERTS! ROBERTS SPITS IN RODDY'S FACE! CHAIRSHOT! HITS CHAD KURTIS! KURTIS KICKS OUT --- ROBERTS ARGUES --- ROLL-UP ONE TWO THREE!
FINAL MONTAGE OF BLOOD! VIOLENCE! HATRED! Ending on a shot of Jeffrey Roberts from last week rocking back and forth...
Back and forth.
Back to ringside...
"OH WA AH AH AH!"
The crowd erupts in boos as JEFFREY ROBERTS walks out to Disturbed.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is set for one fall... and FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE! Introducing first, from Miami Florida, weighing in at two-hundred thirty-five pounds he is JEFFREY ROBERTS!
JACK JONES: My kind of guy!
BILL HEWSON: That's digusting.
FLOGGING MOLLY!
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent! Now making his home in Calgary Alberta, he weighs in at two-hundred and fifty-nine pounds... THE DEMOLITION MAN, RODDERICK... MACCULLOCH!
BILL HEWSON: For months now, ever since Roberts put Roddy's brother out of NAPW, these two have waged a bloody and disturbing war. Who knows what lengths they will go to tonight?
Roddy Mac steps into the ring and hits a corner to a tremendous ovation. Referee John Sharplin calls for the bell.
DING DING DING
Neither man makes an immediate move, instead staring each other down. Some kind of words being spoken by Jeffrey Roberts, can't quite hear them... He slaps Roddy right across the face!
WHAM! Big right hand knocks Roberts down! Another one! Roberts up again and Roddy hits a big cross, sending Jeffrey reeling to the ropes. Roddy charges CACTUS CLOTHESLINE TAKES BOTH MEN OVER THE TOP ROPE!
BILL HEWSON: That didn't stay in the ring very long at all!
Roddy on top, another big right hand. He's just straight-up brawling! He picks Roberts up in a back suplex style... and drops Roberts crotch-first across the top of the guardrail. OOOOOOOOOH. Roberts perched gingerly, wimpering. Roddy with a clothesline knocks him off! He makes a cover on the concrete, one, two, Roberts kicks out.
BILL HEWSON: First fall of the match, this one could go all over fans. We have to take our last commercial break --- this match will continue when we come back!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
BILL HEWSON: Welcome back fans, Roddy Mac and Jeffrey Roberts Falls Count Anywhere, these two fighting through the fans all during the break --- OH MY GOD! RODDY MAC GOES RIGHT THROUGH THE FIRE DOOR TO THE OUTSIDE!JACK JONES: Falls count ANYWHERE, Hewson! Even on the snow!
BILL HEWSON: Try to get a camera to cover this, fans have all left their seats to try and see the action!
Roddy picks himself up only to be tackled by a savage Roberts, who smashes his opponent's head against the snow-covered ground. Roberts leans down and bites Roddy on the forehead brutally, then picks him up and drags the man to a nearby dumpster! Whip into the dumpster --- reversed! Roberts crashes shoulder-first and stumbles. Roddy picks his man up in a powerslam position and rams Roberts' back into the metal! POWERSLAM ON THE GROUND! Cover, another two count. Roddy is bleeding on the forehead. What's he doing here? Roddy opens the dumpster lid! "TIME TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH!" He goes to pick up Roberts LOW BLOW. Roddy's face smashed into the dumpster, and Roberts closes the lid again. He climbs up on the dumpster, looks down at Roddy...
450 SPLASH OFF OF THE DUMPSTER! NAILS THE MAN! ONE! TWO! Roddy kicks out! Roberts with a vicious stomp to Roddy, then grabs the man and drags him back into the building as the fans part before them. Roddy starts fighting back, grabs Roberts and slams him into a wall!
JACK JONES: Um... I hope the Polish Hall lets us BACK after this.
BILL HEWSON: I won't be surprised if this never gets back to the ring. These two are on a mission to tear one another apart!
Roberts apparently has had enough, and is now trying to escape from Roddy. He exits the main hall and is in the lobby, finding... the men's room door!
JACK JONES: Oh no! Some men can't go if there are people around --- especially people trying to beat other up while being filmed!
BILL HEWSON: This... has happened to you before, hasn't it?
The camera follows Roddy and Roberts into the washroom. A guy at the sink washing up looks in shock as Roddy punches Roberts, sending him sprawling on the linoleum. Roddy pulls open a stall door, and... comes across a young man praying to the porcelin gods. Roddy pulls the guy out of the thing, revealing a hopper full of last night's hamburger helper! Roddy kicks Roberts and grabs him, pulling towards the puke bowl! He tries to shove the man's face in for the most offensive swirlie of all time! Roberts fights --- sharp elbow to the gut DDT!
INTO THE BOWL.
BILL HEWSON: ... that has to be the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. And I've sat next to you for five years!
JACK JONES: OH GOD IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME!
Roberts flushes, then pulls Roddy (bits and slime all over his head and chest) out and pins on the bathroom floor. ONE. TWO. A kick-out! Roberts choking Roddy out on the floor as the referee can't do anything. He's only there to count the pinfall! He looks around for his next step, then picks up Roddy. Going for a Liger bomb --- Roddy stands up and backdrops his man to the floor. Roberts gets up, tries a right hand blocked HEADBUTT! BIG BOOT! Jeffrey Roberts crashes through the bathroom door back to the lobby. Roddy locks on ---
THE CALGARY CRASH!
KICK TO THE FACE!
BILL HEWSON: Roberts saw it coming! Avoided what could have put this match away in the Calgary Crash!
Roberts grabs a dazed Roddy Mac and suplexes him into the concession stand window, scattering potato chips and candy bars everywhere! Jeffrey suddenly seems distracted by the sight of a Snickers. He rips the package open and shoves the entire bar in his mouth. An orgasmic smile comes on his face, and then he shoves Roddy over the window. Roberts rolls into the concession stand. The worker there looks terrified as Jeffrey Roberts stares at him. Jeff reaches out...
and takes the man's goofy little concession hat.
JACK JONES: You have to wear the hat if you're behind the concession stand!
Roberts punches Roddy Mac, and then puts the man's head face-up under the fountain pop dispensor! "I hope you like Coke!" He presses the trigger and a rush of black froth splashes into Roddy's mouth. He chokes and gags! "I guess you're more of a Pepsi man! Maybe a little swamp water will do!" Roberts hits all the pop dispensors --- WHAM. A panicked Roddy gets a boot right in Jeff's gut. Roddy stumbles out, sputtering and wiping his eyes.
BILL HEWSON: Roddy's covered in all kinds of fluids --- blood, sweat, vomit... high fructose corn syrup mixed with soda!
JACK JONES: The soda's a bonus, it gets out anything!
Roberts crawls out of the concession stand. Roddy is still getting himself together. He heaves himself over the counter.
BILL HEWSON: Tremendous physical toll taken on both men here, how much more do they have?
Roddy nails Roberts in the gut, then sets him up for a powerbomb! ON THE FLOOR COULD END IT --- Roberts wiggles out the back. Roddy off-balance, giving Jeffrey time to hit a clothesline to the back! Roddy goes down. Roberts leaps up on the nearby merchandise table and hits a jumping legdrop off! NAILS HIM!
ONE! TWO! TH--
Shoulder up!
Roberts grabs Roddy and drags him back to the main hall! The fans roar as they come back in. Roberts smashes into Roddy with a series of stiff kicks with Roddy against the guardrail. He aims a kick at the face, but Roddy grabs it! ATOMIC DROP! Roberts dances the MY NUTS HURT dance and then Roddy clothesline him down. Roddy roars to the crowd, then announces it's time for some demolition! He whips drags Roberts to the ring and bundles him in, then tosses in not one, but two steel chairs. He gets into the ring and unfolds them, front-to-front, and delivers...
POWERBOMB ONTO THE CHAIRS!
BILL HEWSON: GOOD GOD! That had to end it! Roddy with the cover! Roberts is broken in half! ONE! TWO! TH--- HE KICKED OUT!
JACK JONES: I think he LIKED the pain, Hewson!
BILL HEWSON: This match has been almost surreal, but if you had any doubt of the hatred that existed here... how do you like a powerbomb onto two chairs?
Roddy takes a corner, telling Roberts to GET UP. GET UP! Roberts slowly rises... CALGARY CRASH!
DROP TOE HOLD! Roddy hits the wrecked chairs! He pops up, holding his face, and Roberts gets a toe kick. THE ARMS! RUNNING LIGER BOMB ONTO THE WRECKAGE! Roberts goes up top!
JACK JONES: OFF WITH HIS HEAD!
BILL HEWSON: ROBERTS ON THE TOP TURNBUCKLE --- SHOOTING STAR GUILLOTINE NO! Roddy Mac moves! He moved out of the way! Roberts went knees into the twisted steel in the center, that hurt him badly CALGARY CRAAAAASH!
Roddy rolled up and nailed a hobbling Roberts with the CALGARY CRASH! RIGHT INTO THE WRECKAGE! HE COVERS! ONE! TWO! THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner... RODDERICK MACCULLOCH, RODDY MAC!
BILL HEWSON: He did it! Rodderick MacCulloch has finally, at least beaten the man who took his brother out of NAPW! Roddy Mac has beaten Jeffrey Roberts right here in Edmonton!
Roddy lets the ref raise his arm in victory... and then picks Jeffrey Roberts up.
JACK JONES: Oh come on, the match is over! What a skeeve!
BILL HEWSON: Surprisingly, I agree with you, but the issue is so deep between these two...
Roberts shoves Roddy away. Roddy Mac, covered in blood, sweat, vomit, soda, snow, dirt and god knows what else, grabs a mic.
RODDY MAC: ROBERTS! I MAY NOT (BLEEP) LIKE YOU... BUT I (BLEEP) RESPECT YOU! NOW SHAKE MY (BLEEP) HAND!
The crowd cheers at the profanity and words. Roddy extends the hand, yelling "SHAKE IT (BLEEP!)" Roberts looks at Roddy, nodding, grinning... and then spits right at the hand, taking Roddy with a right hand. Roberts rolls out of the ring, screaming "I'M DONE WITH YOU! I'M DONE WITH YOUUUUUU!" Roddy gets up, the fans booing Roberts as he storms out as fast as his aching body will take him. Roddy waves his hands to say "we're finished", then Flogging Molly kicks back up. Roddy hits a corner to raise his arms in victory!
BILL HEWSON: For Jack Jones, this is Bill Hewson saying goodnight!
The cameras linger on the victorious Roddy Mac...
Scene fades... as we find NAPW world champion, 'The Show' Chad Kurtis standing in front of the generic NAPW on TFN backdrop with the world title draped across his left shoulder.
CHAD KURTIS: I have been doing a lot of thinking since my match last week against Steve Parker. I have been thinking about how it was a match for the ages and how happy Parker most be to have gotten that close to defeating me. I have also been thinking that maybe it was a sign of the times. Maybe it was a sign that my glory days as the NAPW world champion is coming to an end. And in return that had me looking back just for a moment on my title reign and while I have nothing to be ashamed about and I can hold my head high with all that I have accomplished as NAPW champion I decided t hat I was ready to give it up just yet! So after my brief trip down memory lane I got back to doing what I do. But the difference this time is I am going to have to step it up and that okay because I have more drive this week then I have had since I first won the title. I am driven to prove that while Steve Parker might indeed be the next big thing he ain't the THENNOWNEXT!
'The Show' pauses for a minute, takes the belt off his shoulder and stares at it for just a moment before looking back up at the camera like he is staring into the soul of Steve Parker.
CHAD KURTIS: Is that the type of promo that the fans and everyone in the locker room expected of 'The Show'? Filled with the same clichés and nicknames I always use. Will this time it more personal then that. Last week Parker questioned my inspiration. Last week he questioned whether I had a choice about giving up the spotlight or not. Parker also said I blow him off like he was insignificant. All I have to say about all those question is none of them got answered last week. Matter of a fact we was left with more questions as NAPW on TFN went off air, but one thing about last week is it open my eyes to a few things including the fact that Parker is more then a formidable opponent.
Last week during our promos we both talking about how much talent and so on the other has but this week is different. Last week I left Ogden Legion Hall I little more humbled thanks to Parker. So Parker can give us his signature grin knowing he accomplished that much but that wasn't his goal. His goal was to walk away with a victory over 'The Show' and more importantly the NAPW world title. He came up short on that goal didn't he? But I came up short on my goal, too. While I was able to work away as the NAPW world title I didn't defeated Parker and that left a sour taste in my mouth and a fire in my soul. So that brings us to next week where me and Parker will once again face off for the world title and this time there has to be a winner. This time there will be no question about my inspiration or rather I think Parker is insignificant because 'The Star Spangled Sensation' has my full attention. With that being said Parker you will find out first hand that I do have a say in rather or not I am going to give up the spotlight and I promise you this ain't your time, this is still my time! I am still in my glory days! Last week you asked what it took for me to get inspiration now you know and now you will find out what it is like to go up against and inspiried 'The Show' Chad Kurits!
With the determined words of the NAPW World Champion burning in our ears...
Lights down.