SHOOTING! STAR! GUILLOTINE! ROBERTS COVERS REES! ONE! TWO! ... KICK-OUT!
LIAM SHEPHERD: F'N BULLSHIT!
BILL HEWSON: Lloyd Rees somehow, someway kicks out after a Liger Bomb and The SSG!
Jeffrey Roberts PUNCHES OUT the referee John Sharplin!
BILL HEWSON: Roberts has a STEEL CHAIR!
REES DUCKS! RINGER ROVER!
JACK JONES: Oh my gosh! THE LANCE COVE LEGLOCK!
BILL HEWSON: Here comes another referee! JEFFREY ROBERTS TAPS! NEW WORLD CHAMPION!
TRENTON OSWALD: HERE IS YOUR WINNER... AND...
Referee John Sharplin is shaking his head, talking to the announcer and second ref.
TRENTON OSWALD: ...and he has overturned the second official's decision! Therefore, the winner of the match BY DISQUALIFICATION... LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYD REE REE REEEEEEES!
BILL HEWSON: Oh no.
TRENTON OSWALD: BUUUUUUUUUUT AS WE ALLLL KNOW THE TITLE CANNOT CHANGE HANDS ON A DQ! Which means that... STILL the greatest NAPW WORLD CHAMPEEEEEN... STILL HOLDIN' THE GOLD... JEFFREY RRRRRRRRRRROBBERRRRRTS!
ROBERTS ATTACKS REES! HAS A SPIKE!
CHRIS CASINO!
COME ON COME ON COME ON
Roberts wipes Rees' blood on the NAPW World Title belt.
Cut to the Polish Hall in Edmonton, AB, where the NAPW fans are a little more subdued than normal, but ready for a big night. Bill Hewson, Liam Shepherd and Jack Jones at the announce table.
JACK JONES: And that's why I'm not allowed at SeaWorld anymore.
LIAM SHEPHERD: Man, they kicked you out for that?
BILL HEWSON: That's disgusting.
LIAM SHEPHERD: What, the whales do it in the pool all the time!
BILL HEWSON: They live in... you know what, let's just go to the ring and our next match.
TRENTON OSWALD: LADIES and GENTLEMEN! Are you ready for... the GREATEST. SHOW. ON EARTH?!
The crowd is excited for the show to start proper, even if they're not thrilled about the fat sack of shouting, Trenton Oswald, in the ring.
TRENTON OSWALD: THIS MATCH IS THE FOUR CORNERS MATCH! One pinfall or submission to determine the NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE HERITAGE TITLE!
"ALL EYES ON ME!"
The crowd gives a very mixed reaction to the current Heritage Champion's music, and even more mixed as the man himself, Donovan Astros steps through the curtain, Heritage title belt over his shoulder.
LIAM SHEPHERD: What's this guy doing out here? Out here to bore his competition to tears?
BILL HEWSON: Last week Donovan Astros basically ignored the four men in this match tonight to focus on Chad Kurtis, who no one has seen since Jeffrey Roberts won the NAPW World title on May 25. Maybe he's got his head on straight and looking at his competition tonight.
Astros walks over to the announce table and shakes the hands of Hewson and Jones, ignoring Shepherd, before standing next to Jones and taking the fourth headset.
LIAM SHPEHERD: There's only room for three people at this announce table!
DONOVAN ASTROS: Then you can go take a break with Peter in the back. I'm here to talk about this match and these four wrestlers and which one of them will earn the shot to be the next statistic at the hands of the greatest wrestler on God's green Earth!
LIAM SHEPHERD: Why don't you talk about how you needed that cheater Danny Chaos's help to beat Justin case two weeks ago? Or how my pick, Jacob Venar, threw you out of Sole Survivor?
BILL HEWSON: GUYS! We have a match to call! Both of you site down and pipe down!
LIAM SHEPHERD: He f'n started it.
Astros throws his hands up and sits back down, setting the belt in front of him. "Come Clarity" by In Flames starts playing over the PA and the crowd gives a decent cheer.
TRENTON OSWALD: TO THE RING FIRST! From all the way in Bradford, England, he weighs two hundred and twenty-five pounds! HE IS THE LAST WORD! HE IS JAY! O! BRIIIIIIIIIIIIEN!
Jay O'Brien steps through the curtain and raises his finger to the sky.
LIAM SHEPHERD: How do fans cheer for this guy? He looks so f'n boring!
JACK JONES: Same reason you still have a job, Liam, someone likes you.
BILL HEWSON: This is Jay O'Brien's return to NAPW television after a three year hiatus, and he has really gotten into it with Jacob Venar as of late.
DONOVAN ASTROS: I don't think this guy can keep his little personal issue with Venar from interfering on the real goal, and that's this title belt sitting in front of me.
"SET THE STAGE! THE AMBUSH BEGINS!"
The crowd is on their feet as "Set The Stage" by the Warriors blasts out and Danny Chaos poses at the entranceway.
TRENTON OSWALD: NOW COMING TO THE RING! From Glens Falls, New York! Two hundred pounds even. DANNY! CHAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOS!
Chaos slowly walks down to the ring, cutting across past the announcer's table, where he points at Astros and the Heritage title, before making the universal "I want the belt" motion. He then climbs into the ring and poses on the turnbuckle as the crowd goes nuts!
DONOVAN ASTROS: Now there's a guy with eyes on the prize, fellas. It's too bad he's never going to get it while I'm the champ, but his mind's in the right place.
BILL HEWSON: Danny Chaos in the ring on TFN for the first time since being reinstated and the crowd is solidly behind him!
The music changes to "Troublesome '96" by Tupac and the mood changes drastically inside the building.
TRENTON OSWALD: HERE HE IS! Accompanied to the ring by his manager, HUGH AREDONE! Two hundred sixty-five pounds! From right here in Edmonton! JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW, HE RUNS THIS FREAKIN SHOW... JUSTIN! CAAAAAAAAAAAASE!
JACK JONES: Justin Case looks fired up and he's heading this way...
DONOVAN ASTROS: His mouth better not write checks he ain't prepared to cash. JUST KEEP WALKIN', BOY!
Referee Morgan Smythe hops out of the ring and gets in between Astros, Case, and Aredone, trying to keep order. Aredone takes a swipe at Astros as he taunts the last challenger for the Heritage belt, and Morgan points at Hugh. Then the entranceway.
"YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!"
LIAM SHEPHERD: She can't do that! He was provoked!
BILL HEWSON: She can and she has!
Hugh pleads his case, but Morgan's having none of it. Case interrupts her, and Morgan POINTS TO THE PATCH! "You wanna be thrown outta here too, Justin?" Case stomps around as the music changes again and Hugh Aredone heads back to the curtain...
"BUT I'M STILL HERE STANDING... AND I'M TIRED OF BACKING DOWN!"
"Anthem of the Underdog" by 12 Stones plays over the PA and Jacob Venar stands in the entranceway, back to the crowd and wings... err, arms spread. And while Morgan Smythe is busy with Hugh Aredone...
BILL HEWSON: Jay O'Brien! Jay O'Brien blows past the ref and Hugh! Venar turns around! We got a brawl in the entranceway!
LIAM SHEPHERD: This is completely unfair to Jacob Venar! Jay O'Brien knows Venar was going to win this match and he's trying to cheat him out of it! Un-f'n-believable!
BILL HEWSON: Looks like the referee is getting Case into the ring and calling for the bell!
LIAM SHEPHERD: How? Venar hasn't even gotten into the ring!
DONOVAN ASTROS: I think it's a damn good move! There's no countouts in a four corners match! Those two wanna beat the hell outta each ohter on the floor, let em! They can't win the match out there, so maybe that'll get them back in the ring!
It doesn't look like it's helping, as Venar and O'Brien trade haymakers in the entranceway. In the ring, Case and Chaos lock up. Chaos slips behind and sweeps the bigger man to the mat, locking on a headlock. Case gets to his feet and backs himself and Chaos into the ropes. Case shoves him off and then shoulderblocks Chaos down on the rebound! Quick cover by Case doesn't even get one before Chaos rolls a shoulder. Case looks back and sees Venar and O'Brien brawling into the crowd! The two foes are wailing away at one another as they make their way to the concession stand! O'Brien slams Venar's head into the counter, no, elbow to the gut by Venar and Venar beals O'Brien into the wall next to the concession stand window with a sickening thud! Case picks up Chaos in the ring, gets a gutwrench and delivers a beautiful belly-to-belly suplex! Another cover!
ONE...
Chaos kicks out again.
DONOVAN ASTROS: I don't like the guy, but this is very smart by Justin Case. Go for a pinfall after every move, you tire out your opponent, and the other two men in this match are nowhere near to break up the pin.
Case drops an elbow on Chaos as Venar is putting the boots to O'Brien at the concession stand. O'Brien barely has the energy to crawl over to the merchandise booth, pulling himself up using the table there. Venar follows him over there and drags him up, leaning O'Brien against the table... running clotheslines takes both men over the table!
DONOVAN ASTROS: Hey! HEY! HEY! That's my stuff over there! DON'T BLEED ON MY MERCHANDISE! You break it, you buy it, guys!
JACK JONES: Hey, people pay more for game-used memorabilia, Donnie!
DONOVAN ASTROS: Not funny! That isn't Jack Attack stuff getting ruined over there! This isn't cool!
Venar lays O'Brien across the merchandise table and begins whipping the man with a toy Heritage title belt! The mess outside the ring has distracted Case for a second, and he turns around into a forearm to the gut by Chaos, who quickly goes behind Case... EDGE BREAK! The reverse DDT connects for Chaos! The cover!
ONE...
Case quickly gets the shoulder up and Chaos uses the momentum to shove Case onto his stomach. Crossface forearms from Chaos onto Case! Case struggling to get out! He slowly makes his way to all fours, Chaos draped across his back. Case up to his feet as Chaos begins to look panicked and tries to lock in a choke... Case grabs the back of Chaos's head and pulls him forward... SITOUT PILEDRIVER! Chaos's head bounces off the mat as both men collapse to a prone position! Venar sees this from the concession stand and leaves the beaten O'Brien laid out on the merchandise table, grabbing a DVD to bring with him as he passes the announce booth...
DONOVAN ASTROS: Hey! That's a DVD of me! That's fifteen bucks you owe me, pal!
BILL HEWSON: Venar setting the DVD case on its edge on the ground...
DONOVAN ASTROS: NonononononoNO!
*SNAP*
DONOVAN ASTROS: You son of a!
BILL HEWSON: Jacob Venar just destroyed that DVD with one stomp, and it looks like Donovan Astros has lost a loved one out here!
LIAM SHEPHERD: F'n incredible! Venar's the smartest man in this match, he's about to go in there and clean up on Case and Chaos's hard work!
Venar slides into the ring and covers Chaos...
ONE...
TWO.......
TH-Shoulder up by Chaos! Venar quickly moves over to Case!
ONE...
TWO.......
Case kicks out with authority! Venar picks up Chaos an whips him into the ropes... SPEAR! Venar breaks Chaos in half with a vicious spear! Venar with another cover!
ONE...
TWO.......
JUSTIN CASE BREAKS IT UP! Venar sneers at Case and now they're trading lefts and rights! Venar kicks Case in the midsection near the corner, Venar climbs the ropes quickly... WHISPER IN THE WIND!
SHOVED AWAY BY CASE! Venar lands on his head with a dull thud! Case covers!
ONE...
TWO.......
THRE-DANNY CHAOS PUSHES CASE OFF AT THE LAST MOMENT! Chaos now in the pinning position!
ONE...
Case stomps Chaos in the back of the head! Case slowing the pace down now, dragging Chaos to his feet and cinching him up... fisherman suplex! Case keeps the leg cradled for a pin!
ONE...
TWO.......
Chaos kicks out! Case slaps the mat in frustration!
DONOVAN ASTROS: Danny Chaos is showing a lot of heart in there, but he better watch out. It's a lot more likely for Case and Venar to get on the same page than it is for Chaos to work together with either of these guys.
LIAM SHEPHERD: It's every man for himself in these matches.
DONOVAN ASTROS: You've never been in the ring, so you don't have any idea, but in these kinds of matches, you make alliances of convenience all the time. You also break those alliances all the time, but that's just part of a four corners match. There's only one winner, and the rest of these guys will go home feeling like losers.
Case pulls Chaos to his feet. Whip into the ropes, Chaos ducks under a clothesline on the rebound, but eats a leg lariat from Venar! Case and Venar both stomping away at Chaos as the crowd slowly crescendos, trying to cheer Chaos back into this match. Case and Venar say something to one another, and Case picks up Venar near the ropes and locks in an abdominal stretch! The referee checks on Chaos as Venar makes a run to the opposite ropes...
*WHAM!*
JAY O'BRIEN SMASHES A CHAIR ACROSS VENAR'S BACK! O'Brien quickly rolls into the ring and takes a run at Case and Chaos. Case throws Chaos at O'Brien, O'Brien catches him and whips Chaos back! CROSS BODY BLOCK! Both Chaos and Case tumble over the top rope to the floor! O'Brien yells out to the crowd as he goes back to Venar and picks him up... BRAAAAAAAINBUSTAH! O'Brien covers!
ONE...
TWO.......
THR-KICKOUT as the crowd sighs in unison!
LIAM SHEPHERD: C'mon, Jacob! Get back in this match!
BILL HEWSON: Jacob Venar seems to have awakened a slumbering monster in Jay O'Brien!
LIAM SHEPHERD: Give him a few minutes and he'll put that monster back to sleep!
Danny Chaos makes his way back into the ring while O'Brien stands over Venar. Chaos from behind tries to lock in the Edge of Chaos! O'Brien slips behind and tries for a reverse DDT hold of his own! Chaos shifts body weight and looks for a rolling cradle, O'Brien rolls through and steps over, holding onto Chaos's leg, looking for a Texas Cloverleaf, inside cradled by Chaos!
ONE...
TWO.......
Kickout by O'Brien! O'Brien up first and he picks up Chaos and dragon screws him back down! Chaos screams out and grabs his knee as the referee goes to check on him. O'Brien backs off and goes back to Venar, stomping The Falcon down! Chaos declares himself fit to continue and the referee backs off, allowing O'Brien to swoop in. O'Brien picks up Chaos, Chaos with a knee to the gut, grabs the leg, going for the F.Y.I.E.... he lifts O'Brien up! O'Brien slips out the back! FULL NELSON... LAST WORD! Jay O'Brien hits the Last Word on Chaos! Venar's going up top as O'Brien covers!
ONE...
VENAR COMES OFF THE TOP... SPREAD... MY...
TWO.......
O'BRIEN ROLLS OFF OF CHAOS!
WINGS!
Venar rolls to his feet, clutching his back and O'Brien charges at him! CLOTHESLINE OVER THE ROPES! Both men tumble to the floor in a heap! Venar and O'Brien are on the floor! Chaos is down and out in the ring!
And that leaves Justin Case, who slowly climbs back into the ring, watching all this unfold in front of him as the crowd boos like their game-winning goal was just disallowed!
JACK JONES: Justin Case is gong to pick the bones of O'Brien and Venar's kill! He's gonna steal one here!
LIAM SHEPHERD: No! Jacob! Get back in that ring! Danny Chaos is done!
BILL HEWSON: Case taking his time here getting over to Danny Chaos.
DONOVAN ASTROS: I don't agree with this at all, you got your man down, you need to press that advantage. There's plenty of time to taunt the fans after you win!
BILL HEWSON: Or you could not taunt the fans. Either way, Justin Case stands over Chaos...
"JUST! 2! TALENTED!"
BILL HEWSON: Case picks up Chaos and sets him up, underhooking the arms! Chaos is fighting it! Underhook is broken! Chaos pulls the double leg! Flips over! This is a pinning predicament!
ONE...
TWO.......
THREE!!!!!!!!!
LIAM SHPEHERD: No! NONONO! Jacob Venar was robbed!
DONOVAN ASTROS: What did I tell you? Plenty of time for Justin Case to taunt himself in the back now!
BILL HEWSON: Unbelievable! Danny Chaos had just enough! Just enough to keep Justin Case down for three seconds!
Case berates referee Morgan Smythe, but she's not buying the argument. Meanwhile, Chaos rolls out of the ring towards the announce table.
TRENTON OSWALD: YOUR WINNER! THE NEW NUMBER! ONE! CONTENDER! for the Heritage title! DANNY! CHAAAAAAAAAOS!
DONOVAN ASTROS: Enjoy it, Danny! Next week! You and me! I'll treat you like I'll treat Chad Kurtis when I get my hands on him! You don't have what it takes, boy!
Astros stands up, hoisting the Heritage title over his shoulder, as Chaos sees the DVD on the floor, case destroyed, but DVD intact. He holds the disc in front of Astros before snapping it in two! Danny Chaos wants the belt and Astros just wants the challenger to move along!
Commercial Break
JACK JONES: ...though by that point, there wasn't much point in breaking out the broom.BILL HEWSON: You can't curl on grass, Jones! No matter how much sweeping and hurrying you do!
JACK JONES: Isn't curling just about drinking beer anyways? And sexy curling chicks?
BILL HEWSON: ...Fans, our next match is a preview for next week. It is a POISON PARTNERS match featuring representatives from the four teams who, next week, will be competing in TABLES, LADDERS and CHAIRS for the Tag Team Championship! Let's go to... ugh... Trenton Oswald.
TRENTON OSWALD: OH! MY! GAWWWWD THAT FIRST MATCH WAS AWESOME BUT ARE YOU READY FOR MOOOOOOOOARE? THISSSSS IS THE POISSSSSON PARTNERSSSSS MATCH! LET'S BRING THEM OUT OH YEAHHHHH!
BILL HEWSON: Could he be anymore fat and loud?
JACK JONES: Loud, probably. Fat, god I hope not.
LIAM SHEPHERD: You too are stuck in the past, Oswald makes even ring announcing f'n awesome.
Mushroomhead blasts and the fans boo as DORIAN VADE makes his way to the ring.
TRENTON OSWALD: INTRODUCING FIRST! He's one half of the most DAMAGING incs of all... DAMAGE INC! From Portland Oregonnnnnn... DORIANNNN VAAAADE!
LIAM SHEPHERD: Tired of being f'n held back! Tired of being overlooked! Damage Inc are taking those tag titles next week and there's nothing anybody can do about it.
BILL HEWSON: A change of attitude from Damage Inc over the past month, that much is certain. We'll see if it leads them to championship gold, because it's cost them the affection of the NAPW faithful...
JACK JONES: Well, you know, affection like that you can live without. I don't like these guys getting shunted into the tag title match just on Zouave's say-so, they haven't WON anything to deserve the title shot.
CREED. The crowd pops!
TRENTON OSWALD: And his partner, he is an O'Connor Boy, and he MIGHT be... SEANNNN O'CONNOR! Unless it's SEAMUS! Seriously guys, they're TWINS! FROM BOSTON!
BILL HEWSON: And it's the O'Connor Boys whom Damage Inc have taken their frustrations out on for the past few shows.
JACK JONES: That's why it's POISON PARTNERS, Hewson --- these two guys hate each other, but they have to work together tonight for the winner's share of the purse and momentum going into TLC!
Sean springboards into the ring and rolls up into a pose. He stays several feet away from Vade, not at all liking the situation.
"NO ONE'S GONNA TAKE US ALIVE!
THE TIME HAS COME TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT!"
Crowd ASPLODE.
TRENTON OSWALD: And their OPPONENTS! Introducing first wearing a COWBOY HAT and coming to KICK SOME ASS... he is YOUR high-flying roughneck and one-half of the NEW&IMPROVEDDEEEEEEE-ECKS --- BRUCE "THE BEAST" RICHARDS!
JACK JONES: I just can't get behind this NAID-X reunion! I miss classic DX.
LIAM SHEPHERD: That was 5 f'n years ago, dude! Get with the now!
BILL HEWSON: Since reuniting, The Beast & Stylin' Kyle Roberts have been on a roll, going undefeated in tag team competition! They are the heavy favorites to the tag team titles... IF they can upend the current champions, another reunited NAPW Classic Tag Team...
"DRESS LIKE A TARGET!"
The crowds thunderous ovation devolves into a mix of boos and some cheers, but the man who walks through the curtain, tag team title belt dangling from his hand, has nothing but hate for everybody in the building.
TRENTON OSWALD: AND FINALLY! The Beast's partner TONIGHT... from ONNNNNTARIO, he's SEXY! He's ADORABLE! He may well be DRUNNNNK! And he IS one half of the NAPW TAG TEAM CHAMPEEEEEEENS --- KRUSTY KID PAULLLLL!
BILL HEWSON: And here we go, KKP sliding into the ring and going right after Sean O'Connor! Dorian Vade jumps The Beast! This match is on!
JACK JONES: Have fun, Uruburu!
Referee Anthony Uruburu calls for the bell as all four men brawl. KKP whips Sean to the corner, charges in, Sean slides out through the ropes and hits a pendulum kick to KKP's face! Springboard dropkick knocks Paulie down! Meanwhile Dorian Vade sends The Beast to an opposite corner, charges, big elbow by The Beast! Vade stumbles, turns, charges again INTO A BEAST LARIAT! Vade and KKP each roll out of the ring, and Uruburu yells that Beast and Sean are the legal men.
The pint-size O'Connor and the plus-sized Beast (IN A GOOD WAY) circle, tie-up, Bruce easily shoves O'Connor down. Another tie-up, this time O'Connor ducks around! Big kick to the thigh of Bruce, Bruce turns around, straight kick to the gut, a series of kicks and O'Connor hits the ropes! Lariat, ducked, Sean with a springboard cross body block --- CAUGHT! Bruce holding the 150 pounder like nothing, and he tosses Sean UP ON HIS SHOULDERS! CHART ATTACK? Sean fights off! Throwing elbows, Sean with a huracanrana off Bruce's shoulders...
Bruce lands draped over the second rope! Sean revs up!
BUSHMILLS DRILL!
The Beast rolls out of the way! LARIAT, Sean pulls down the top rope and The Beast flies outside! Sean looking to dive ---
BIG BOOT! Krusty Kid Paul blasted a sure-to-dive Sean before he got there. Uruburu orders him out as The Beast rolls in. Tag made to Krusty Kid Paul, who wants a piece!
BILL HEWSON: KKP and Beast showing... some form of teamwork in the early going, but Dorian Vade couldn't seem to care less about his partner Sean.
KKP stomping on Sean O'Connor with his heavy work boots. Sean fights back, KKP rakes the eyes. He whips Sean in and takes him down with a knee smash. The smaller man is dazed as Paul covers ONE, TWO, no problem kicking out there. Paulie pulls Sean to his feet and looks for a PILEDRIVER, Sean springs up for extra momentum! He flips out and gives Paul a facebuster! Sean staggers over to his corner where Dorian Vade doesn't reach out at all, but Sean slaps the man on the chest to make a tag.
JACK JONES: That's one way to make a tag!
Dorian Vade, the power member of Damage Inc, gets in and quickly delivers a bulldog to KKP! Cover one, two, the former World Champ and current tag champ kicks out. Vade pulls Paul up and locks on an Abdominal Stretch. Paul grimaces in pain as Vade digs his free elbow right into Paul's ribs. Paul tries to get free... he does, but Dorian quickly swoops around behind and dumps Paul with a German Suplex!
Vade with a cover, gets another two. He motions to tag into Sean, then pulls the hand back. Psych. Snap suplex on KKP. Vade picking his man up, looking for a DDT --- Paul blocks! Tries a German, Vade blocks that, fires off with an Irish Whip, back body drop --- RUNNING DDT FROM KKP! Paul tags in The Beast to a huge pop!
Vade gets up, he swings, ducked, Bruce wraps around into the COBRA CLUTCH... and there's the BOMB! Bruce goes for a cover, ONE, TWO, Vade kicks out. Bruce picks up Vade, looking for a pump-handle --- but Sean O'Connor springboards into the ring with a roundhouse right to the face of The Beast! Vade looks surprised, as Sean yells for a tag! Vade walks over to tag in Sean, dazed ---
AND SEAN DROPS OFF THE RING APRON!
LIAM SHEPHERD: F'N BULLSHIT! What a backstabber!
JACK JONES: What are you, high?
BILL HEWSON: Dorian Vade shook hands with Sean O'Connor weeks ago, only to attack from behind! Sean O'Connor reminding him that turnabout is fair play!
Vade is pissed off, but he needs to turn AROUND --- KRUSTY KID PAUL! K-CUTTER! Vade is down, but The Beast is legal! ON THE TOP ROPE! DIVING MOONSAULT! ONE! TWO! THREE!
TRENTON OSWALD: Here are your winners... KRUSTY KID PAUL and THE BEAST!
BILL HEWSON: KKP and THE BEAST take the win here, but next week it will be every man for himself in TLC XAVIER STONE! The other half of Damage Inc just jumped Sean O'Connor on the floor!
LIAM SHEPHERD: He deserves, the cussin' runt!
BILL HEWSON: KKP and The Beast shaking hands --- K-CUTTER! NO! BEAST BLOCKS IT! IT'S BREAKING DOWN!
Stone sends Sean INTO THE GUARDRAIL! Oh no! In the ring, The Beast hoists Paul up for the CHART ATTACK --- TOMMY DEATHROW! Toe kick right to Bruce's gut, KKP is free, and here comes the DEATHROW DRIVER! Going to spike The Beast...
Stylin' Kyle Roberts nails Tommy! Now it's a huge brawl! SEAMUS O'Connor suddenly shows up, brawling with Xavier Stone! He bashes Stone's face into the ring apron as NAID-X and SAD go at it inside the ring! Seamus seats Stone on a chair and gets some distance, he's going to kick his face off! Sprints --- DORIAN VADE SLIDES OUT AND NAILS HIM! Seamus hits the concrete hard as Damage Inc each grab steel cheers! They roll into the ring and THWACK everybody in on the back! Stylin' Kyle and The Beast end up on the floor as Damage Inc grab Tommy Deathrow... THEY SET HIM UP! SUPLEX --- CROSS BODY!
THE DAMAGEPLAN ON HALF OF THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
And now Stone puts the two chairs seated, front to front, as Vade hoists up KRUSTY KID PAUL...
INVADER INTO THE TWO CHAIRS! Damage Inc have taken out the tag team champions!
Wait a minute, on the outside, the O'Connor Boys have found... A LADDER under the ring! They've got it in, Damage Inc don't know! They turn around --- THE OCB RUN THEM DOWN WITH THE HORIZONTAL LADDER! Vade and Stone get back up, ANOTHER LADDER RAM! Now the O'Connors put the ladder up in the middle of the ring, what are they thinking here?
Who knows, because Stylin' Kyle Roberts is in! He pulls Seamus O'Connor off of the ladder --- MOOSE JAW DRIVER ONTO ONE OF THE FLATTENED CHAIRS! Sean is still on the canvas, he flies at Kyle, but Kyle vaults Sean up and ONTO BRUCE'S SHOULDERS!
CHART ATTAAAAAAAACK!
It's ruins and wreckage, but now NAID-X roll outside the ring, they're looking under it... and they pull out a TABLE! The Beast and Stylin' Kyle put it in, Kyle sets it up as The Beast begins to CLIMB THE LADDER! What on earth? Kyle grabs Xavier Stone and puts him on the table! He stacks Sean O'Connor on top of Stone! The Beast is on top of the ladder...
MOONSAULT!
KASPLODE!
IT'S CHAOS AND CARNAGE! All two-hundred fifty-seven pounds of BEAST crashing through Stone and Sean exploding the table! The crowd is going crazy, chanting HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT ---
SNAP
KRUSTY KID PAUL WITH A K-CUTTER TO STYLIN' KYLE ROBERTS!
TOMMY DEATHROW WITH A DEATHROW DRIVER TO DORIAN VADE!
The Sexy Adorable Drunks yell for their tag team titles, and they are bruised and battered, but the SAD climb the ladder and hold their title belts high, nothing but destruction at the bottom of the ladder!
BILL HEWSON: WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT WEEK IN TLC? MY GOD!
Commercial Break
The lights go down...Then.... OOOH-AHH-AHH-AHH-AHH!!
"Down With the Sickness" by Disturbed blares as a strobe effect kicks in, heralding the arrival of NAPW World Champion Jeffrey Roberts.
Roberts steps out, to unbelievable booing, the NAPW World Title securely around his waist. He has little to no expression on his face, his head tilted down slightly as he stares at and stalks toward the ring.
He approaches the apron and climbs halfway up, then drops and rolls under the bottom rope. He walks to the center, looks down at the mat as the music fades... and smiles. Then... the smile is gone... and he looks up.
JEFFREY ROBERTS: I want each and every one of you... to get on your feet... and give a HUGE round of applause... to the one and only... LLOYD!!! REES!!!!
A mixture of cheers and boos from people who know what Roberts is doing rings out. Roberts, meanwhile jumps up and down like he just won the Super Bowl, pumping his first, waving his hands in the ay-uh... like he just don't cay-uh!
JEFFREY ROBERTS: That's right. Lloyd Rees, the man who single-handedly ended my reign of terror just one week ago - the man who put an end to this mindless charade with the clowns and the big tops and the circus performers...
ALL HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO!!
Roberts holds up a 'black power' styled fist in salute.
JEFFREY ROBERTS: Wait... you... you say it didn't go down like that? Wait what? You say... Lloyd Rees ISN'T the NAPW World Champion and he DIDN'T put an end to everything we've been doing around here?? You say... he ended up being comforted by Chris Casino while swimming in his own blood?
So the party supplies, the hat, the noisemakers, the inflatable bouncy castle I have ready to be delivered to Lloyd's seaside manor... it's all for nothing? There's NOTHING TO CELEBRATE?
Boos RAINING down.
JEFFREY ROBERTS: WELL... I.BEG.TO.DIFFER.
I think you should all celebrate the bravery, the fighting spirit, the way poor little Lloyd fought so valiantly, had victory in the PALM OF HIS HAND - then had it snatched away by fate. Snatched away, then spiked and dug into his forehead in a ticker tape parade of his own bodily fluid. And as he sat there... flat on his ass, Chris Casino cradling him in his arms...
"Because you're so smooth...." The familiar strains of the song hit the PA and the crowd reacts with a decidedly mixed reaction. Do they cheer? Boo? Hell who knows with this guy.
JEFFREY ROBERTS: PERFECT.
He emerges from the back and stalks towards the ring. A look of intensity etched on his face. Chris Casino looks pissed. Casino rolls into the ring and God help everyone, he has a live mic with him!
JEFFREY ROBERTS: Did the good little soldier hear his name and feel left out of...
CHRIS CASINO: Shut up.
A roar of approval from the crowd. They might not trust Casino, but they like where he's going with this. Roberts sneers, but listens.
CHRIS CASINO: You know, I have no damn idea who you are. Seriously? Who are you? Are you that boring that you've actually been here all this time to win and I just haven't noticed you? Is this an episode of Punk'd?
JEFFREY ROBERTS: Are you such a legend that you've lost what, twenty matches in a row?
CHRIS CASINO: Oh. He has jokes. Look at him. The unknown soldier has jokes! Did the clown teach you that biting wit? Did you have to squeak his funny red nose to get that joke? Look chump, while you're scraping by Rees thanks to a horseshit ruling, I'm busy competing in DREAM matches. And yeah sure, me and Evan lost last week and I give all the respect to The Beast and Kyle. And yeah, KRENSHOV beat me, but Lord knows he had the law of averages in his favor. But you? Who are you to stand out here and denigrate people like Rees? At least people know who the hell he is! At least he doesn't follow Doink The Clown to further obscurity. And anyway, just because you beat Rees doesn't make you great. I've beaten him so many times he has mat burns on his back.
LLOYD REES: Now, hold on d'ere now b'ye's!
The crowd erupts in to a chorus of cheers as Lloyd Rees walks out from behind the curtain. His forehead is heavily bandaged.
LLOYD REES: If ye fellas want t'talk s**t about me out here, why didn't ya invite me t'yer little party?
JEFFREY ROBERTS: WONDERFUL. Quick, everyone turn on their fish language translator devices.
LLOYD REES: Shut up Roberts! Casino already told ya once, how many times ya got t'be told in one day?
Another roar of approval from the fans.
LLOYD REES: If ya think fer one minute d'hat dis is over between me and you Roberts, ya must be further up Zouave's ass d'hen I even thought. Ya see, no matter what ya what ya say out here in front of da NAPW faithful, everyone of d'hem knows d'hat ya walked away with da NAPW's World Title on a dame technicality. Everyone here in da stands knows, everyone in da back knows, Hell! Da whole world knows who should be NAPW World Champion!
The crowd starts a chant.
REES! REES!! REES!!!
LLOYD REES: Now it ain't in me power t'come out here and demand a rematch; I was just da "challenger" fer da Title after all. But, I have had some time t'think dis week.
Rees runs his hand across his forehead, obviously thinking about Roberts vicious attack.
LLOYD REES: And I've come up with an idea d'hat I'm sure everyone here will agree with.
Rees starts to make his way down to the ring. He stops outside and continues.
LLOYD REES: It's not really something I ever thought about befer but went da blood cleared from me eyes last week and I seen me ol'buddy Casino stand'n over me, it seemed like d'ere was only one option.
Rees rolls under the bottom rope and stands in the ring next to his long time rival, Chris Casino.
LLOYD REES: Thanks by da way Casino...
CHRIS CASINO: Let's just say you owe me one Rees.
LLOYD REES: Ya see, d'ere has been a change here in da NAPW Roberts. Sure, yer right, I didn't walk away with da title and you are yer buddy Bozo are still run'n around here like ya own da god dame place.
JEFFREY ROBERTS: We do own this place!
REES & CASINO: SHUT UP!
LLOYD REES: D'hat's tree times now! Ya don't listen very well do ya Roberts. Well, I think ya should probably listen up now! Did anyone here ever think d'hey would see Lloyd Rees and Chris Casino stand'n in da same ring and not try'n t'tear each utter limb from limb? See Roberts, d'hat's change! Now, I don't see me and Casino go'n fer a beer after da show but, it looks like we now have a common enemy.
JEFFREY ROBERTS: You're wasting my time here Rees. Get to the point! Just like I did last week.
LLOYD REES: Ok, ok. I know ya got some weird carney business t'attend to so I'll get down t'it. See'n as it's obvious d'hat me and Casino here have some equal hate fer ya and everything ya stand fer, why don't ya go get yerself a partner be it Pantolino, Oswald or hell, Zouave himself fer d'hat matter and next week step into to da ring with me and me partner...
Casino puts his hand over Rees' microphone and whispers something into Lloyd's ear.
LLOYD REES: Ok Casino, if it means d'hat much t'ya...
CHRIS CASINO: CHRIS CASINO!!
The crowd goes nuts! Lloyd Rees and Chris Casino fighting side by side?
Roberts smiles.
JEFFREY ROBERTS: Well... isn't that precious...
REES & CASINO: WE TOLD YOU TO SHUT...
They stop short as Roberts reaches down and from the belt of his trunks produces a five inch blade, which he now holds in his right hand. The crowd gasps. Though they outnumber the champion, Casino and Rees take up a more defensive posture.
JEFFREY ROBERTS: No. Now you two will be shutting up. Always be prepared that's the boy scout call, isn't it?
Roberts smirks again.
JEFFREY ROBERTS: As much as the two of you like to run your mouths and make your little puissant wisecracks, I'd absolutely love to take you up on your offer. Next week it is gentlemen. Oh... there's still the matter of my partner. Well I love surprises. I know you love surprises, Lloyd. So next week I'll let you know. And on that note, unless the two of you have any other... (Roberts looks at the blade) ...points.... to make....
Roberts backs away slowly as Rees and Casino hold their ground, then drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring, slowly walking backward up the ramp with a steady gaze on the two men in the ring.
Commercial Break
Return from commercial BACKSTAGE where PETER PANTOLIANO is standing on front of the NAPW interview banner with a greasepainted hobo... who can only be ZOUAVE. Standing a few steps behind the twisted clown as he always is is a black & white clownpainted, subdued, zombie-trance-like JOEY MALONE.PETER PANTOLIANO: Peter Pantoliano here with the man who has pledged to make New Alberta Pro Wrestling THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH, Zouave, are you happy with how things have turned out to date?
ZOUAVE: Oh PEE-ter. You arrrre marVELous in your new position, hmmm?
PETER PANTOLIANO: Why thank you. I just needed the opportunity, the one only you saw fit to give me!
ZOUAVE: I knoooooow. And that, dear boy, is just what I am abouuuut. NAPW has become sososo borinnnng, hasn't it? The same people, no changes, HONNNNNestly. But there is REEE-sistance of course. The fans want their comfort... well, there is soMUCH work to be DONE.
PETER PANTOLIANO: Zouave, what are you feelings on the scene we just witnessed, with Chris Casino and Lloyd Rees both threatening the NAPW World Champion Jeffrey Roberts, and challenging him to a tag team match next week on Fight?
ZOUAVE: SooooPREdick-table. But I know my dear Jeffrey Roberts loooooooves to wrestle in that ring so I wouldn't deprive him ofthat, heh. There willBE a tag team match next week yessss. A SPECIAL tagTEAM match. An EIGHTman TAGteam match. On one side of course you will have chrisCASINOOOOO and the fishman, and their partners... oh... I know! JAY O'Brien, from ENGland. And STEVEparker!
PETER PANTOLIANO: Will Steve Parker be in any condition to compete next week after he and Roddy Mac have a DOG COLLAR match in our main event tonight?
ZOUAVE: SteeeveParker will be finnnnne, and it will be moreTHANfair. Teaming up with the paragon of purity our DElightful Mr. Roberts willBE Roddy Mac! As well, two men who deserve to team up with the so-called legends and make theirOWN legends, heh. JUSTIN CASE is a future champion in ENNNehPeeDUB and then there is a man Liam Shepherd has extolled the VIRtues of recently, quiteRIIIIIGHTly...JACOB VENAR.
PETER PANTOLIANO: Wow! You heard it here first, fans! Next week an Eight-Man tag pitting Chris Casino, Lloyd Rees, Steve Parker and Jay O'Brien against NAPW World Champion Jeffrey Roberts, Roddy Mac, Justin Case and Jacob Venar! Now let's go to ringside---
ZOUAVE: OhPEEter that's not all. How munDANE. You see PEEter the winner of the FALL in this verySPECIAL match... will have a wish granted by me! The maaaaaaan ooh the man who scores the FALL will receive any match he wants in an NAPWring! Now THAT'Sspecial... Come along, JoSEPH. COME ONE! COME ALL! TO THE GREATESTshow ON EARTH!
Zoave glides off camera, Joey shuffling behind. Peter is all smiles at his BIG SCOOP. Cut back to ringside.
JACK JONES: And that is why I could never hold an office position, because there is all that dirty footage of me choking people with ties. Liam you have some skeletons in your closet right, any videos out there on the loose that shouldn't be?
LIAM SHEPHERD: Huh? What?
BILL HEWSON: Ring Announcer Trenton Oswald everybody...
TRENTON OSWALD: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and NOOOOOO TIME LIMIT... and it is a special Dog Collar Chain Match! IT'S GOING TO BE CRAAAAAZY!
Corrosion of Conformity booms across the speakers and the crowd pops big for Steve Parker. He makes his way down to the aisle in a seemingly confident but serious manner.
TRENTON OSWALD: On his way to the ring, Weighing in at Two Hundred and Ninteen Pounds and he hails from the city of Boston, Massachusetts, The Star-Spangled Sensation... STEEEEEEEVE PARRRRKERRRRR!
Parker enters the ring and gets in his corner and just waits methodically, staring back and forth from the entrance way and at thecChain that referee holds in his hands as his music fades out. The sound shifts to that of "Faint" by Linkin Park, the crowds cheers turns null and void as Roddy Mac pops through the curtain and down the aisle.
TRENTON OSWALD: And his opponent, From the Motor City of Detroit, Michigan, He stands a HUGE Six Feet Six inches Tall and weighs in at Two Hundred Fifty Nine Pounds, The DEMOLITION MAN, ROOOODDDDDYYYY MAAAAAACCCCCCCC!
BILL HEWSON: This is a match where the bad blood has boiled and boiled... that now these two have found no other way to settle thier differences than to be chained together like dogs.
JACK JONES: I actually heard that this match was sponsored by Michael Vick, Hewson.
LIAM SHEPHERD: Wow, relevant and witty. I'm almost impressed, Jack.
JACK JONES: I don't need you to tell me that Shep Dog. I know how awesome I am.
BILL HEWSON: Either way guys, this match is going to be one hell of a down and dirty fight. This will not be pretty, this is not Dancing With The Stars, this is The NAPW on The Fight Network!
Roddy Mac steps into the ring and is looking just as cautious and serious as Steve Parker. He paces around the ring eventually looking at Parker and pointing to the chain in the refs hands. He then glances back at Parker and gives him a Throat slit motion to which Parker rolls his eyes as if he is not impressed.
The referee explains to both men that all he is there for is to count a pinfall or submission and instructs both men to come to the middle of the ring so they can be strapped in.
Parker immediately steps up and gets strapped in first. After a few moments of stalling it looks like Roddy Mac is about to get strapped in and he then steps away and keeps stalling... After a few moments he attempts again but to no avail. Parker is getting more and more pissed off as these attempts grow on and finally Parker snaps and comes running at Mac with some fists of fury and gets him down on the mat and forces the collar onto Mac himself and steps up. As soon as Mac comes to he realizes he is chained in and starts to panic. Mac clutches the chain around his neck and carefully backs away from Parker as the bell rings!
DING DING DING
BILL HEWSON: Well here we go! We have officially started this contest.
LIAM SHEPHERD: They look like two animals in there, Hewson
Parker and Mac spend a moment staring at each other as they both try to grip some slack on the chain. They move slowly towards one another while gripping. They appear to be in a tug of war at the neck.
JACK JONES: This crowd is getting restless, They want these guys to start beating the tar out of each other.
Parker finally breaks the stalemate and just starts going after Roddy Mac and pounding him with fists, Mac attempts to regroup by locking up with Parker. With the lock up they back each other into the corner where Parker delivers a series of fists and then Parker grabs some chain and for effect turns to the crowd, Parkers swings an open fist of chain to Roddy Mac but he blocks, Roddy Mac with a rake to the eyes. Parker struggles for a vision, Parker hurls back with another chain shot but misses and Mac tackles Parker to the ground and starts to hammer away, Parker reverses the roll over and starts pummeling away at Mac. Parker picks up Mac and they tangle back to the corner where Parker Finally delivers the first shot with the chain! WHACK! to the head of Roddy Mac, although Mac attempted to partially block the shot Parker connected with enough of it.
Parker roars back again and connects with another shot, Wham! Then Parker takes the chain and begins to wrap it around the neck of Mac, Parker is setting in the choke and Mac looks like he is trouble. Mac out of instinct delivers a low blow to Parker with his foot that sends him down and Mac is finally able to breathe. Mac then takes the opportunity to wrap the chain around Parkers neck slowly but Parker is able to give Mac a pair of fists to the gut to stop him, Parker to his feet and he scoops up Mac for a body slam, Just barely had enough to chain to not rip his own head off. Parker takes a moment to breathe while Mac is down on the ground, Roddy Mac sweeps Parkers' feet out from under him and pounces on top of him hammering away with the chain. Whack!, Whack!, Whack! Mac is getting in some good chain shots from close range.
BILL HEWSON: Roddy Mac with two really close right hands with the chain and I am surprised that Parker is not busted open yet.
JACK JONES: "Yet" is the key word Hewson. We all knew coming into this one it was going to be a bloody mess.
LIAM SHEPHERD: There will be blood! There will be blood!
BILL HEWSON: There very will may be after we take our final commercial break! Don't go away!
Commercial Break
Fade back in from commercial. Parker throws off Mac and starts to get to his feet, Parker grabs some slack of the chain and is chasing Mac around the ring with it. Mac runs towards the ropes but gets stalled by the lack of chain. The two men start a slow tug of war yet again, That sees Roddy Mac try to inch his way out of the ring by sliding underneath the bottom rope. Parker is on top of him and not letting him go anywhere. Parker the swings back with the chain and lets it go, MISSES! Roddy Mac escapes under the rope and pulls the chain down so Parker hits the mat and Roddy Mac is dragging Steve Parker out of the ring by his neck, very slowly and Parker is writhing out in pain.Parkers head is drug underneath the bottom rope, with Mac on the outside. Mac drops an elbow to the throat Parker! That was harsh. Just for good measure Roddy Mac sizes him up for another one and CONNECTS! Parker coughs out a massage fluid of blood with that last connection. Parker rolls over and coughs up a goozing of blood...
LIAM SHEPHERD: I think I'm gonna be f'n sick...
JACK JONES: Our first drop of blood and it's from the throat of Steve Parker!
BILL HEWSON: This is absolutely despicable, Roddy Mac drops two serious elbows on the throat of Steve Parker and Parker may be hurt here.
Parker is wrenched over the bottom rope while Roddy Mac is sizing him up for a big shot with the chain...and he CONNECTS! Devastating impact chain shot with Parker draped over the rope, Parker appears to be out. The referee is checking on him, he is conscious but is bleeding from the mouth. Roddy Mac gives this look of confusion as he has never really been in this position before, he decides to ignore any concern and walks close to the draped over Parker. Mac hooks Parker's head and Suplexes him out of the ring and onto the floor outside! Mac is back up, he picks up Parker and send him into the barricade with an Irish whip. Big impact on the ribs of Parker. Mac goes to swing the chain at Parker and Parker somehow gets in a foot to the chest, and another Parker grabs Mac and tries to send him into barricade but gets reversed and Mac whips Parker into the side of the ring, Mac with a slam onto the concrete floor outside.
Mac gets up and is pulling Parker up by the chain, Mac sets Parker onto the mat just outside the ropes and climbs over the turnbuckle. Roddy is slowly pulling Parker towards him. Mac is going up to the second turnbuckle with chain in hand, looking to do some damage, but Parker rushes Mac and slams him off of the turnbuckle to the outside and Parker goes down with him. The crowd jolts back alive with excitement after the heroic burst of energy from Parker which came out of nowhere. Both men are down for an increased amount of time. Parker somehow is the first one to make it to his feet. Parker slowly picks up Mac and begins to roll him back inside the ring. Parker decides to go for a cover, ONE, TWO and kickout from Roddy Mac.
Parker gives Mac some right hands and decides to go for a pin again, This time Mac kicks out after only a count of one. Parker picks up Mac and hold him in the air for effect... AMERICAN SUPLEX!, The crowd goes wild and Parker is on top of Mac again, ONE, TWO, and a KICKOUT! Parker takes a look around and gets back to work on Mac as he backs him into the corner and takes the chain and WHACKS! Roddy Mac with the chain, and AGAIN! Parker is trying to bust open Roddy Mac, Parker with a shoulder to the chest not once but twice. Parker rears back with the chain one more time and... MISSES! Mac counters with his own fistful of steel and has bought himself a little time. Mac reverses Parker into the corner and gives him a couple of shots with the fistful of steel. Roddy Mac then backs up slowly and stares blankly at Parker, As if he just had an idea that he is now setting in, Mac backs up as far as he can so the whole length of the chain is spread out and he takes a moment and then...
DESTROYER!!!
ONE
TWO
THREE!
NO! PARKER GOT THE FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!
LIAM SHEPHERD: No f'n way! Nobody gets out of the DESTROYER!
BILL HEWSON: Parker wasn't going to kick out, but they were just close enough to the ropes that he sensed it! But now Roddy Mac is just FURIOUS!
Mac gets back up and starts choking the life out of Steve Parker with the chain and raining down fists. Parker seems completely helpless and starts coughing up more blood after a couple of strikes to the throat with the chain by Roddy Mac.
BILL HEWSON: I know that this is no rules but this may be endangering the life of Steve Parker as he is spitting up this blood yet again. The referee might need to stop this match!
JACK JONES: Parker knows what he signed up for Bill, Parker himself I don't think he would even want it to end like that!
LIAM SHEPHERD: I couldn't agree with you more, Jones, He knows what he signed up for and is a no rules Dog Collar match. Just because a guy coughs up a little blood doesn't mean nothing. You get what you give in this situation.
JACK JONES: Aww, look who's trying to be all grown-up and professional! You know what would make you really good at your job? Sitting there and not saying a word.
LIAM SHEPHERD: Listen you old f---
BILL HEWSON: BACKBREAKER! Oh my!
Roddy Mac gets up to his feet and just stares at the helpless Steve Parker and he struggles with his throat. Mac picks up Parker and delivers a Body Clutch Back-breaker. Parker is down and out on the canvas. Mac picks him up and sends him over the top rope and to the outside apron, Sets himself apart and then delivers a punch to the face of Parker which drops him down to a sitting position, Mac bends down and pushes Parker off of the apron with his foot and Parker is just barely standing on the outside as Roddy Mac yanks up on the chain and is trying to hang Steve Parker from the ring! Steve Parker is clutching at his throat and spewing blood at the same time, He struggles but succeeds to make his way back up onto the apron. Parker is met by a forearm by Mac and sends Parker back down again, being hung again.
LIAM SHEPHERD: He is going to Kill Steve Parker! Now that's f'n HATRED.
BILL HEWSON: This is going too far!
Parker struggles back on to the apron again and is met by another forearm but this time he blocks it, and drops Mac's jaw down on the rope hard! Sends Mac flailing back and Parker jumps into the ring with his last ounce of energy and Parker collapses onto the mat. Mac at this point is getting back to his feet again and he picks up Parker and plants him... HOG WILD! Mac is onto Parker for the cover...
ONE
TWO
AND
KICKOUT!!
LIAM SHEPHERD: NO WAY! NO F'N WAY!
BILL HEWSON: I do not have any idea how in the hell Steve Parker is still kicking out?
JACK JONES: I admire his fortitude, but sometimes you just got to save it for another day, and Parker is in a bad way here...
Roddy Mac gets up and cannot believe Parker kicks out as he argues with the Ref. He then slowly pulls Parker over to the corner by his collar. Parker is laid out perfectly in front of the corner. Mac delivers a crushing WHIP! with the chain right to Steve Parker's head and that was the one. Steve Parker is instantly busted wide open with that shot. Mac stares down at Parker and the begins to ascend to the top rope. He gets to the top and leaps off with a legdrop to the throat of Parker...MISSES! Parker moves out of the way just in time somehow, Mac clutching his backend as Parker tries to get some wind, Mac back up and he picks Parker up and hoists him onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry and he is walking with him back towards the opposite turnbuckle, Parker musters up a couple of right hands and drops Mac with a reversal into a DDT! Mac's head lands on chain.
BILL HEWSON: Out of desperation Parker hits a DDT! That may have bought the time that Parker needed!
Parker rolls over onto his knees as he is trying to gain back some strength as he notices finally a drip of blood hit the mat, Parker stares at the blood for a moment and then proceeds to wipe his head and find his head a bloody hamburger mess. Parker then wipes the blood all over his face and begins to let out a scream...AHHHHHH! The crowd starts to come unglued.
BILL HEWSON: Steve Parker looks like he has had the life shocked back into him!
LIAM SHEPHERD: That isn't possible, that man was near death in there!
JACK JONES: Seeing the site of your own blood, bleeding from your head can do strange things to a man...
Parker picks up Mac and gives him a series of stiff kicks to the ribs and then to the head. Down goes Roddy Mac and he is stunned by those kicks, Parker grasps the chain and is getting a very intense look on his face, Mac is slowly drawing himself to his feet and ... WHACK! WHACK! and WHACK!, Three vicious whips of the chain right to the skull of Roddy Mac and he is down, Mac is out cold and is now BUSTED WIDE OPEN!
BILL HEWSON: Well Roddy Mac drew first blood but will it be Steve Parker who draws it last?
Parker is stalking his way over to Roddy Mac, who is out on the canvas, Parker is taking the chain and wrapping it around Mac's neck, Parker flips him over onto his back and Parker sets it in FREEDOM FRYER! WITH THE CHAIN! Around the neck of Roddy Mac, Parker with his eyes as wide as a maniac is setting it in...TIGHTER...AND TIGHTER, There is nothing that Roddy Mac can do,
BILL HEWSON: Parker is going Nuts! and so are these fans!
Parker has the freedom fryer locked in and the ref is checking, and RODDY MAC HAS PASSED OUT! The Referee is calling for the bell and ITS OVER!
TRENTON OSWALD: Your winner of the match, STTTEEEVVEEE PARRRKERRRR!!! BILL HEWSON: Parker somehow has done it and This place is Electric! Only in The NAPW do you see something like that!
LIAM SHEPHERD: Mac didn't f'n tap out! This is bollocks!
JACK JONES: Pipe down, squirt.
LIAM SHEPHERD: That's it ---
BILL HEWSON: WAIT A MINUTE! Some woman just jumped the rail! She's on Parker's back! What in the world?
Parker STILL holding the Freedom Fryer in a bloody tableau even as referee John Sharplin tells him to release it... when suddenly a woman jumps on Parker's back! Parker tosses her down and stares at her...
It's MARIE.
JACK JONES: Oh my God, she's fallen for the Roddy Mac Attack! No relation.
BILL HEWSON: Steve Parker's best friend... why... wait a minute! That's not Marie! That's an imposter!
The confusion on Parker's face suddenly gives way to knowledge as he realizes he's been played. A Marie look-alike in the ring, begging for mercy, and suddenly Parker's face has none. He advances on the woman, who suddenly realizes the jig is up... WHAM. Boot to the nuts! The woman gets up to a chorus of boos and pulls off her conservative Marie blouse, revealing a leather vest underneath. She smirks and walks around the groaning Parker, taunting him. "POOR MARIE, OH, POOR POOR MARIE ---*"
PARKER JUST GRABBED HER! Parker getting to his feet, a bloody mess, the woman in his clutches, and the crowd is chanting for Parker to take her out! Steve looks uncertain what to do as the woman yells in fear! A mix of strained emotions on the face of Parker, is he going to suplex her?
WHAM. From behind it's one of Roddy's biker friends! In fact the entire biker gang has jumped the railing from their front row seats! The woman screams at Parker, screaming "NOW YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT!" as a half-dozen big, burly bikers are in the ring. The referee calls for the bell DING DING DING DING DING wham! He gets punched out and falls to the floor. Roddy Mac is getting to his feet, dazed, as the bikers just straight pummell Steve Parker. They hold Parker up as Roddy is on his feet and throw him towards the Mac ---
DESTROYER!
Now Roddy undoes the dog collar, and he gathers the chain together as a couple bikers continue to stomp on Steve Parker. The bikers we know to be named Dirty Sanchez and Hellboy pick Parker up by the arms and hold him up, arms out, back to Roddy Mac. The crowd is tossing garbage and cans in the ring as Mac spins the chain, we know what his intentions are...
HERE COMES SECURITY!
BILL HEWSON: Oh thank God, security is on the way! This has gone way too far, those bikers aren't wrestlers, they're not contracted...
JACK JONES: Um, Bill, what is security doing?
BILL HEWSON: I don't... they're surrounding the ring and blocking the aisle, they're turning their backs to the ring! What the hell?
LIAM SHEPHERD: Steve Parker is f'd!
The crowd's cheers turn to horrified gasps as over a dozen security guards create a human barricade between the aisle and the ring. Roddy Mac looks on, not sure what's happening, but a grin spreads on his bloody ugly mug as he realizes... he's in the clear. He winds up the chain ---
WHIP.
Drags it across Steve Parker's bare back! Parker flails, trying to get free, but two other bikers pile on to hold him in place. Roddy rattles the chain and
WHIP.
Parker can't hold back the scream of pain as the chain comes violently across his back.
BILL HEWSON: SOMEBODY STOP THIS! COME ON!
And suddenly the crowd roars as DANNY CHAOS bursts from the curtain! He tries to hit the ring... but security block him and take him down! It's JAY O'BRIEN! O'Brien coming in and security tackles him! What on earth? STYLIN' KYLE ROBERTS! THE O'CONNOR BOYS! CHRIS CASINO! LLOYD REES! Hell, TOMMY DEATHROW is hitting the ring!
And each one is taken down by two, three or four security guards... Danny Chaos is being HANDCUFFED?! In the ring, the bikers realize they're still free to go and Mac blasts the chain across Parker's back again! WHIP.
Garbage is filling the ring as the fans witness more of this. Many begin to walk out as the popular wrestlers are subdued --- CASINO BREAKS THROUGH! HE'S IN THE RING --- HANDS CLUTCH AT HIM AND PULL HIM OUT! A biker gets a stomp on him...
BILL HEWSON: Why is --- this is --- this is sickening, why is security doing this?
The fans that are left can barely even muster up boos, they're so discouraged and upset...
As ZOUAVE walks out of the entrance way, flanked as always by a monochrome, deadly Joey Malone. Zouave holds his cane up high and shoots streamers from the end of it... a twisted comedy of horror. Cheery circus music begins to play as the fan favorites are prevented again and again from saving Steve Parker, cuffed hands behind their back on the outside, still trying to fight, as Roddy Mac has his way with Steve Parker.
RIN TIN TIN A TIN RIN TIN TIN A TIN
Mac lifts Parker's chin up, forcing Parker to stare right into his eyes. Steve Parker has never taken a beating like this...
HAUWK.
Spit. Right in Parker's face. Roddy Mac circles around behind and again whirls the chain in the air...
Lights down.