NAPW ACTION!03/09/2006
Action! goes on the air to find the ring filling with superstars. Thunder, Tempest, Bayman Jakey, Joey Malone, Wayne Wright, Nenji, Axle Jaxx, Delivery Men #1 and #2, Bobby O'Brady and Al Thoes are all in the ring. To keep things as simple as possible, no managers have been allowed at ringside! The Delivery Men and Storm are both upset... which is odd because the Delivery Men don't have a manager. The Decapitator music hits, and the fans cheer for the perennial favourites... but only Diamond comes out. He angrily slides into the ring as the music fades. Then... the Decapitator music hits a second time and Axe comes out to a mixed reaction. Obviously the recent events in the lives of the Decapitators caused some serious friction between the brothers. Major tension in the ring, definitely an every man for himself attitude... or at least mostly. Clearly Storm are on the same page, and the Delivery Men are whispering to each other in a corner. The other two tag teams, the Assassins and the Decapitators, however, shoot angry glances between themselves and everyone else. The crowd is already chanting for the Battle Royal to begin! And there's the bell! Pandemonium! The ring veritably erupts in an orgy of violence! Fist fly, kicks are exchanged. No one is opponentless in this opening volley... but only because Storm cruelly double team Nenji to the boos of the crowd. Bayman Jakey and Axle Jaxx lock up, and Jakey starts powering Axle towards the ropes. Joey Malone and his nemesis Wayne Wright are exchanging blows, and for once Joey has the upper hand... mainly because Wright is still bandaged from his brutal MNF match-up. Delivery Man #1 and Al Thoes are fighting, while O'Brady has Delivery Man #2... in a headlock? Oy! And most interestingly, Diamond and Axe are exchanging blows near one of the corners! Tempest and Thunder heft up a dazed Nenji and throw him - not unlike a lawn dart - into the front row. The crowd, to their credit, tries to catch him... but his feet touch the floor, and Nenji is out! There's our first elimination! Meanwhile, Wayne Wright has thrown out a punch at last, but it may as well have been a bus the way Joey Malone flew. He nearly eliminates himself the way he sells the blow! Wayne stalks towards Joey with a smirk... but Axle Jaxx collides with him! Bayman Jakey follows up his Irish Whip with a sweet double clothesline on Jaxx and Wayne! Wayne Wright goes up and over! Wayne Wright... ELIMINATED! Axle Jaxx - catches the top rope - and skins the cat! Axle Jaxx is still in the game. Wright, outside of the ring, stomps his feet and pulls his hair, clearly not happy with the way this turned out. He sulkily heads to the back after Nenji. Two down, eleven to go! The excited cheers of the crowd redirect, giving a sizeable pop as "The Lemondrop Kid" makes his way to ringside, wearing his shiny Provincial Title. He stops near the ring and begins to ironically cheer on Bayman Jakey, his former friend. Jakey glares down at him, and the two exchange some heated words in unintelligeble rapid Newfie-ese (newfese?)... AXLE JAXX! Jaxx dropkicks Bayman Jakey RIGHT IN THE SPINE! Jakey begins to topple, but Axle catches him, turns him around, and SUPERKICKS the Newfie right in the chops! Bayman topples out of the ring, as Lloyd Rees beats a hasty retreat, laughing the whole way! Bayman Jakey is ELIMINATED by the man he beat down last week! Axle shouts down a harsh word or two, then turns in time to be levelled by Tempest! Most of the pairings have worked their way to the ropes, trying to put each other in danger. Joey Malone is clinging to the bottom turnbuckle, where Thunder is trying to work him free. Diamond seems to be in danger in the middle of the ring. He gets scooped up by Axe and SLAMMED with a spinebuster. The smaller man writhes in agony, but his former tag team partner is relentless! Axe drops a sweet elbow drop on DiamondŐs head, then scoops him up in a gorilla press. The crowd... finally realizes who they'd rather be behind, and starts BOOING Axe. Axe shouts at them to "Shut the hell up, and let me work" as he walks deliberately to the ropes. WAIT! Diamond starts struggling free! He slips out of the press... catches Axe's head with his legs... HURACANRANA! OVER THE ROPES! Diamond catches himself and slides into the ring... but AXE IS ELIMINATED! He pounds his fists on the floor while the crowd cheers at Diamond! DM #1 has had Al Thoes in danger for most of the match. It looks like the Scottish Wrecking Machine is juuuuuuuuuuuust about to be eliminated... when Thunder AND Tempest both come from behind! #1 is beaten right down to his knees to a chorus of boos, while Al Thoes makes a hasty retreat to a safe corner. Thunder and Tempest pull DM#1 to his feet... and UNLEASH a volley of back and forth Pinball Punches! #1 bounces between them and then dazedly slumps against the ropes. Delivery Man #1 tries to extricate himself from O'Brady in an attempt to help his partner, but it's too late! Thunder holds him up against the ropes... Tempest hits the opposite ropes and rebounds into a running... BIG BOOT! #1's head is nearly TAKEN OFF and he goes over the top rope and lands awkwardly, upside down, outside the ring! Delivery Man #1 is ELIMINATED! Holy Hell! Tempest and Thunder lean over the ropes and GLOAT, laughing at the eliminated Delivery Man... but #2 is loose! He flies across the ring... FLYING CROSSBODY! From BEHIND! He slams into Storm and both Thunder AND the titanic Tempest topple over the top rope! Double elimination! Just like that, Storm is ELIMINATED! They can't BELIEVE it! Axle Jaxx sets up Diamond in a corner, but the smaller man clings to rope. Axle tries to pry him over, but just can't seem to get him... Joey Malone!? He's still in the match! The Bad Boy LOWBLOWS the heck out of Axle Jaxx! Malone then grabs Axle by the legs and sends him up and over the top rope! Axle Jaxx is ELIMINATED! Joey Malone GOT AN ELIMINATION! He's celebrating like he just won the match, and the crowd cheers him on! Axle Jaxx clutches his junk in pain and slinks off to the back, wincing with each step. Joey raises his arms in victory, not noticing that Bobby O'Brady, Al Thoes, Delivery Man #2 and Diamond are all now standing in a semi-circle around him, watching him with mild amusement. He turns, grinning... and that grin fades very slowly. Bobby O'Brady rushes, scoops up Malone, and starts carrying him from TURNBUCKLE to TURNBUCKLE... aaaaand... TAM'O'SHANTERSLAM! Malone THRASHES and DIAMONDSAULT off the top rope! Malone sells it RIGHT back to his feet where Al Thoes catches him... HAGGIS BUSTER! Malone BOUNCES off his head onto spaghetti legs in time to take a SPEEDY DELIVERY from the opposite corner courtesy of #2! The crowd is LOVING IT! WHY DO THEY ENJOY HIS PAIN!? Malone, amazingly, regains his feet... but heŐs STILL SELLING! He thrashes all the way to the corner... all the way UP the turnbuckle... all the way OVER the turnbuckle... and Joey Malone ELIMINATES himself inadvertently! The crowd APPLAUDS! And then a bit of a hush falls... four opponents left. Each one retreating to a corner. Al Thoes, Delivery Man #2, Bobby O'Brady and Diamond. The Assassins RUSH their opponents, clearly on the same page! Al Thoes bull-rushes DM #2, while O'Brady charges Diamond! Diamond goes to sidestep, but NO! AXE! Axe has returned to ringside! He's clutching Diamond's leg and O'Brady COLLIDES with the smaller man! Diamond is stunned, and that's all the Irish Adonis needs to pluck the small man up and dump him unceremoniously over the top rope! Diamond is ELIMINATED and Axe starts SCREAMING at him at ringside! Delivery Man #2, on the other hand, DID side-step Thoes, and PULLED THE TOP ROPE FOR ALL HE'S WORTH! Thoes spins over the top and is THOROUGHLY eliminated! O'Brady turns around, expecting to congratule his partner... only to see Delivery Man #2 standing there, grinning, and Al Thoes slowly taking his feet at ringside, looking confused. Final two. Bobby O'Brady glares angrily at the grinning DM #2. The two circle each other for a moment, then O'Brady surges forward with a Celtic warcry! #2 is quicker on his feet, leaps, HURACANRANA! O'Brady is dumped on his head, and #2 turns... SOMERSAULT LEG DROP! O'Brady is down! The Delivery Man plays to the crowd, hits the ropes for the springboard MOONSAULT! The crowd is on it's feet! Delivery Man #2 pulls the woozy Assassin to his feet and looks to the crowd, flashing a grin! He raises a hand and signals a big THREE and then a big ZERO! The crowd starts chanting "NUMBER THIRTY! NUMBER THIRTY!" and that just FIRES #2 up more! He WHIPS O'Brady with all his might into the ropes! OŐBrady NEEEARLY goes out, but catches himself on the apron after going over the top! He hangs there, stunned, shaking cobwebs from his head. Delivery Man #2 rushes around the ring, hits the ropes for momentum and SOARS THROUGH THE AIR! ItŐs a PICTURE PERFECT DROPKICK... and Bobby O'Brady ducks! LOW BRIDGE! Delivery Man #2Ős SWEET kick carries him over the top rope and crashing to the floor, all the way into the GUARDRAIL! #2 is ELIMINATED! The crowd CAN'T BELIEVE IT! They aren't sure if they should BOO or CHEER as O'Brady blinks, an expression of complete shock on his face. The Irish Adonis, Bobby O'Brady, HAS WON! He's earned the NUMBER THIRTY spot in the SOLE SURVIVOR MATCH! Al Thoes hits the ring full speed and scoops his partner up in a HUGE hug! The Scottish Wrecking Machine celebrates the heck out of the victory, totally more excited than Bobby O'Brady, as Delivery Man #1 helps #2 to his feet on the outside. Great ovation for #2, but it will be Celtic Assassin entering Sole Survivor at the all-important #30!
The bell sounds as Krusty Kid Paul finishes downing a bottle of cough syrup and hacking at the crowd. Stein goes from rigid to life as Dr. Morgoth taps a few commands into his laptop. Stein looks much more intense this time, his eyes boring a hole into the man he was programmed to loathe. KKP wastes no time and takes it to Stein, throwing blows to his dome. Stein takes them unflinchingly and shoves KKP backwards with a powerful pie face shove. KKP scrambles backward towards the ropes as Stein is on him fast, laying into him with forearm shivers and a nasty throat chop. Stein grabs his convincingly bigger opponent and hoist him up with surprising ease, pressing The Krusty One overhead and dropping him to the mat ala Ultimate Warrior. Stein goes into a cover and KKP manages to kick out at TWO. Stein drives an elbow to the top of KKP's head before hooking him up for a suplex. Dr. Morgoth quickly types some commands into his computer and Stein holds him upside down for a delay of nearly twenty seconds before falling backwards with a crash. Stein again goes for the early cover, but KKP has enough moxie to kick out at two. Morgoth audibly barks some commands for Stein, and the Project Adam prototype responds by wrapping KKP up with a sleeper hold. KKP struggles for a moment before using his size advantage to lift the diminutive Stein and drop him with a back suplex. KKP is on him like white on rice, lashing out with wild blows and headbutts until the ref pulls him away and admonishes him. KKP laughs before coughing into the ref's face and shoving him aside. Smelling blood, KKP builds up a head of steam and takes Stein down with a hard lariat. KKP pumps his arms up and stalks the rising Stein before planting him on the mat again with a running big boot. Morgoth is tugging at his hair as KKP covers. Stein kicks out easily at two, but KKP lifts a knee up into his face and follows it with a swinging neckbreaker. KKP hits the ropes and drops an elbow across Stein's sternum twice. KKP hits the ropes again and goes for a somersaulting legdrop, but Stein moves away in time and his ass eats canvas. Stein boots him viciously on the side of the head and begins mercilessly pounding upon KKP's head and neck. Stein latches on with a full nelson and sends his man flying backwards for the Dragon Suplex. Stein covers his man, but KKP kicks out at 2. Krusty pulls the ref close to him to provide the distraction, and Stein bites, stalking towards them. KKP shoves the ref away before kicking Stein in the nether-regions. Stein is slightly stunned as KKP quickly falls forward with a tackling lariat. The referee didn't catch the low blow, but he's still warning KKP to keep his hands off NAPW officials. KKP cackles before whipping Stein into the ropes and planting him in the center of the ring with a vicious spinebuster. KKP covers, but Stein kicks out at 2. KKP wears his man down by whipping him into the corner and stomping him viciously. KKP drives an elbow into the back on Stein's head before setting him up on the top rope and climbing up after him. KKP uses his strength to maintain control and executes the Superbomb off the top rope. Holy Sh!ts and Giggles! KKP is sure that Stein is dead and takes a moment to recover himself and simultaneously gloat to the crowd. Dr. Morgoth smiles on the outside and furiously types another command into the laptop's console. Stein's body convulses and jumps up as if shocked by a giant invisible defibulator. Stein sits up like an undead ghoul and quickly gets to his feet as Krusty Kid Paul turns just in time for Stein to clamp on the Vitiator, clawing at the face of his opponent with the force and fury of a machine. KKP wildly flails his arms, and Stein uses his free left arm to apply a Tongan Death Grip to the throat. KKP begins to fade, but still tries to fight back. Stein's eyes burn with hate as he forces KKP down to the canvas with the force of the Vitiator. The ref checks KKP's arm and it falls limp. He does not hesitate to ring the bell, and Stein is declared the victor. The bell rings repeatedly, but Stein refuses to let go as KKP is already out of it. The ref tries in vain to pry his arm away and pleads with Dr. Morgoth. The mad scientist gives a satisfied smile before typing another command and Stein drops KKP in a heap in the center of the ring. Stein rolls out of the ring and Morgoth fawns over the success of his creation.
Tour Ed is getting last minute instructions from Dr. Zimer. Don Travelli gets in the ring and the two go nose to nose immediately. The two are as evenly matched, size-wise, as you could ask for. The bell sounds after Travelli smacks Tour Ed on the right cheek. No reaction. Don slaps the other cheek. No reaction. Dr. Zimer yells at Tour Ed to "bash" and Ed goes off the handle nailing Travelli with lefts and rights. Travelli goes down as Tour Ed stares at him. Travelli slowly gets up and composes himself. Travelli starts arguing with the Doctor as Tour Ed stalks after Don. Don was baiting him and executes a drop kick to the knees of Ed. Ed goes down as Travelli delivers numerous stomps to Tour Ed's head. But the kicks are proving ineffective. Tour Ed is powering up and starts yelling "hoochie mama" and the crowd chants with him. "HOOCHIE MAMA!" Travelli's fists are no match for Ed, as Tour Ed clotheslines Travelli and begins stomping him in the ribs in sync with the chanting. "HOOCHIE MAMA"... STOMP... "HOOCHIE MAMA" ... STOMP! Tour Ed then stops and stares into the crowd with a blank look. Travelli musters the energy to call the ref over. He grabs him in close and then kicks Ed in the testicles. Ed goes down like he has been shot. Travelli gets up and begins to waltz around the ring, albeit a weakly. Zimer goes over to Ed and tries to get him up. The ref checks on Ed as Travelli unties a turnbuckle cover on the other side of the ring. Ed rises slowly and is quickly shot into the exposed corner. Travelli takes Ed and slams him to the ground. He points to Zimer and asks the ref to warn him for possible interference. The ref is confused but goes over to make sure Zimer knows the rules, and Zimer doesn't help the situation by getting furious. Travelli takes this opportunity to try and finish off Ed, he bends over to pick Ed up but is hit with a modified dragon screw leg whip. He tries a pin but there's still no ref... Travelli kicks out. Both men are down as the ref comes in and begins to count them out. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! They both start to stir at six. Travelli is up first, and nails a Tour Ed with a Mafia kick with all his energy. It knocks Tour Ed out of the ring. Tour Ed falls hard and Zimer and the ref check on him. Travelli gets up and starts to show off and piss the crowd off...and the crowd erupts? Don turns around to see THE PREDATOR! Travelli can't react in time... and gets speared into the parking lot! Ok, maybe not... but it was a devastating spear nonetheless. Predator slides out as Zimer sees the downed Don. Tour Ed is pushed into the ring and rolls on top of Travelli. One... Two... Three! It's over! Ed is still groggy. Travelli gets up holding his ribs and sees Predator still at ringside. The Predator emotionlessly does the throat slash taunt. Travelli spits towards the Predator. Predator is about to get into the ring as security comes down to diffuse the ticking time bomb that is this blood feud. Predator doesn't resist, clearly satisified to have cost Travelli a big win on Action! And The Don... is FURIOUS...
Crusher, of course, a perennial crowd favorite with a big opportunity against Lloyd Rees, who is getting a sizeable pop of his own. Handshake to start. The match is, of course, no disqualification, but it looks like it will be a good, sportsmanlike contest... Lock-up and Crusher overpowers Lemondrop, cinching in a headlock. Lemondrop backs into the ropes and pushes Crusher off. Crusher rebounds, tries a clothesline, Lemondrop ducks and Crusher rebounds off the opposite ropes! Lemondrop tries a flying crucifix, he gets Crusher over for one, two --- Crusher kicks out easily. Both men return to their vertical bases, pausing as the crowd responds with a round of applause for that display of sportsmanship. Hold on a second! The applause changes immediately to a round of boos as BAYMAN JAKEY and OLD SALTY come down the aisle with steel chairs and bad intentions! Obviously, Jakey is no fan of Lemondrop since the two went their separate ways. Crusher looks on at the aisle, and Lemondrop gives him a smack on the shoulder, saying "Hey bye, we's gots trouble yes!" Crusher cracks his knuckles. Lemondrop and Crusher stand side by side, ready for their enemies. Jakey & Old Salty slide in the ring and face off. Jakey swings a steel chair --- Crusher catches it in his hands and rips it away from him! Crusher's got the steel chair, and the crowd's cheering for him to blast Jakey... WHEN LEMONDROP KID LLOYD REES LOW BLOWS CRUSHER FROM BEHIND! Crusher drops like a bag of potatoes as Lemondrop... GRINS hugely? THE NEWFOUNDLANDERS EMBRACE! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? Now what...Old Salty is directing traffic! Jakey picked up the loose steel chair, Salty hands his over to Lemondrop, GOOD GOD NO! Crusher stands up, furious --- NO! NO! NO! CON-CHAIR-TO, EAST COAST STYLE! THE NEWFIES SHATTER CRUSHER'S FACE BETWEEN TWO STEEL CHAIRS! And for the love of --- Lemondrop just covered Crusher...the match is no DQ! The referee has no choice but to count one, two, THREE! Lemondrop...retains the title in a SICK, DISGUSTING fashion!
The crowd is BOOING, no, they're SPITTING MAD NOW! Crusher is down, but what the hell? Lemondrop has the Provincial Title belt in his hands now! Old Salty isn't done, he's saying "Time t'send a message me byes!" Lemondrop just...he just stuck Crusher's ankle in the steel chair and folded it up, he's holding the chair down as Old Salty puts the choke on Crusher on the other side! BAYMAN JAKEY IS GOING TO THE TOP ROPE! NO! DON'T DO IT --- NO! UPPER GULLIES BUM DROP ON THE CHAIR! CRUSHER'S ANKLE AUDIBLY SNAPS, A SICKENING SNAP! The crowd is near rioting! The newfies embrace again, as Crusher is screaming in pain in the ring! His ankle has been --- for lack of a better term --- PILLMAN-IZED, SNAPPED IN TWO! Lemondrop smashes the title belt over the back of Crusher's head as Old Salty reaches into his pockets...he has...HE HAS SPRAY PAINT? WHAT THE HELL? HERE COME THE CUPS! POPCORN BAGS! BEER BOTTLES! The crowd littering the ring in sheer disgust at the newies as...LEMONDROP KID SPRAYPAINTS "NFA" ON THE BACK OF THE CRUSHER! THERE'S NO NEED FOR THIS! And now what...HE JUST SPRAYPAINTED "NFA" OVER THE PROVINCIAL TITLE! The...THE NEW FOUND ALLIANCE LIVES! AND MAY HAVE ENDED THE CAREER OF THE CRUSHER! OLD SALTY STANDS BETWEEN HIS TWO WRESTLERS, RAISING THEIR ARMS HIGH AS THE CROWD SHOWERS THEM IN GARBAGE AND DEBRIS! WHAT A DISGUSTING ACT! THERE WASN'T EVEN A REAL MATCH! ACTION!...IS OFF THE AIR!
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