MONDAY. NIGHT. FIGHTS.03/13/2006
BILL HEWSON: Welcome to MONDAY NIGHT FIGHTS! And we are just ONE week removed from NAPW SOLE SURVIVOR! What a night that is going to be next week! I'm Bill Hewson alongside Jack ATTACK Jones! JACK JONES: Hey, not only is Sole Survivor going to feature that huge, 30-man over the top rope rumble match, it's going to feature the WINNERS of tonights main event --- D-X or the Doomriders --- taking on my boys, THE RAT PACK for the tag team titles. BILL HEWSON: And of course that huge TRIPLE THREAT match-up for the NAPW Title, with Ravager defending against MINSTREL and the Canada Cup winner, one REX CALIBER. But let's get to action! Wagner's "Flight of the Valkyries" starts to play as FRANK gets set to announce the first match! FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first, coming down the aisle, weighing a collective 485 pounds, from Berlin and Sicily respectively, the team of Karl Van Helden and Don Travelli! The curtain opens, and Van Helden walks out. Don Travelli's not far behind, but what's this? BILL HEWSON: Does Don Travelli have a CAST on? He's supposed to wrestle here tonight! The duo gets to the ring, in Travelli's case, slowly and painfully. After a few attempts to get Travelli into the ring, Van Helden finally gets the two-time Television Champion through the ropes and asks for the mic. VAN HELDEN: I bet you fans wonder what my partner Don Travelli is doing in a cast, ja? Sadly, last week after Action!, Don Travelli had to check into the Royal Alexandria for observation, and Herr Doktor told him some very bad news. Van Helden hands the microphone over to his tag team partner. DON TRAVELLI: It's a big shame that I won't be able to compete this week against the Predator and D! The doctor, a very nice man, told me that when the Predator speared me during my match with that goombah Tour Ed, my leg must have landed on the mat wrong. My kneecap just popped out of joint, requiring me to get it patched up. As you can plainly see, I won't be able to wrestle here tonight, capeesh? Predator! This won't be over, since the rehabilitation on my knee has been going on since Tuesday. With the spirit of my dear departed mother, Isabella Travelli, looking down on me, I will meet you at Sole Survivor. And I will have payback on you for what you did to me, capeesh? Next Monday, you will know what it's like to sleep with the fishes, paisan! But as for our match tonight? Ain't gonna happen! All of a sudden, from the curtains, THE PREDATOR bursts out to hit the ring, as the crowd cheers. The Predator stares down Travelli and points at him. The Predator starts to stalk the injured don. JACK JONES: What kind of sick freak is the Predator, going after an obviously injured man! I tell you, Hewson, this crowd has no respect, if they're cheering for such a demented bastard! The Predator's got Travelli in the corner, when Van Helden chop blocks the 6'7" behemoth from behind! Predator's down, as Van Helden jumps on top and starts laying in elbows! Don Travelli, never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, starts using his crutch as a weapon, hitting the Predator anywhere he can! What's this? It's D! Sprinting from the back to make the save! D! hits the ring, and Don Travelli, rolls to the outside, grimacing in pain as he puts weight onto the casted leg. D! follows him to the floor, pointing at his eyes and to Travelli. "I'm watching you, Travelli! Let our partners sort this out in the ring!" Referee Morgan Smythe, who's been attempting to break apart Van Helden and the Predator inside the ring, shrugs and calls for the bell. BILL HEWSON: It looks like Smythe is starting the match, but it's turned into a singles match between Karl Van Helden and the Predator! JACK JONES: Van Helden's MORE than capable of handling that monster of a man! Just look at what he and Travelli were able to do last week, with that HUGE piledriver to the Predator! Van Helden is NOT letting up! He's just laying in the forearms to the mask of the Predator! But the Predator manages to lock his hands around the throat of the German Machine and starts choking the life out of him! Smythe starts a five count for the Predator to stop with the chokehold, but Karl Van Helden rolls off of the Predator and starts to gasp for air at the apron. D!'s right there, and the camera microphones pick up D!'s words. "What's the matter, peanut? Bit off more than you can chew?" Karl's face contorts with anger, and he tries to lash out at D!, but D! just steps back, shrugs, and grins sheepishly as the Predator grabs Karl and picks him up. The two men lock up, and Predator has control. Predator whips Van Helden to the corner, and runs at the German, but Van Helden drops and rolls out of the ring before Predator can get there. Smythe starts with a ten count as Travelli and Van Helden discuss strategy. The Predator pounds the turnbuckle with his fist in frustration, but HERE COMES D! D! shoves Van Helden back into the ring, as Travelli shouts at the former NAPW champion. Predator wants to get his hands on Van Helden, but Van Helden thrusts his hand into the throat of the big man. BILL HEWSON: Oh, come on! That's hardly fair! JACK JONES: Hey, Hewson, these guys do what needs to be done to win! I applaud them for it! Predator tries to shake off the throat thrust, but Van Helden comes back with a flying elbow! The crowd, prompted by D!, starts chanting "Peanutschnitzel! (clap clap clapclapclap!)" The Don tries to shoosh the crowd, but it's not working, it's only making them louder. Van Helden picks up the Predator, and goes for a vertical suplex, but the Predator's WAY too big for KVH to suplex! Predator blocks with the leg. Van Helden attempts it again! And blocked! One more time! Once more blocked! And Predator reverses into a suplex of his own! Van Helden arches his back in pain! Predator picks up the smaller man, whips him to the ropes, and the Predator back into his ropes for more momentum-OH GOD! Travelli just whacked Predator with his crutch! The Predator turns around to confront his attacker and ANOTHER CHOP BLOCK BY VAN HELDEN! The crowd boos as Van Helden raises his arms in triumph! But now Van Helden's distracted by D! on the ring apron. JACK JONES: Does D! have a hot dog? BILL HEWSON: No, that's bigger than a hot dog. It's gotta be bratwurst! The concession stand's got a lot of good food, and for very reasonable prices! D! standing there enjoying his bratwurst. "Oh, man, this is SUCH a good 'wurst! The sauerkraut makes it to DIE for!" Van Helden gets in his face for distracting him. "What? I thought you might enjoy this tasty sausage is all!" "Schlaumeier! Why don't you do something productive, ja? I'm kicking your partner's arsch." No, Van Helden! Don't get distracted! There's the Predator to look out fo- Too late. PUNISHING lariat by the behemoth takes Van Helden off his feet! Predator goes for the pin, but only gets two before Travelli whacks Predator in the face with that SOLID STEEL CRUTCH! And Morgan Smythe doesn't see it either! Instead of hurting Predator, that crutch shot seems to have made the Predator FURIOUS! He picks up Van Helden, and carries the German over his shoulder. Van Helden slips out, grabs the head of Predator and drops! Neckbreaker! Van Helden goes for the pin but is LAUNCHED off by a very angry Predator! Predator lunges at Karl, but Karl grabs Predator's head and drops down again, lifting his knees into the face of the Predator on the way down! A drop face buster! But Van Helden seems to have forgotten about the mask that Predator wears, and that's GOTTA hurt the knees of the German superstar! Van Helden's wincing on the mat! Predator stands, a bit groggily. That face buster seems to have rung him up some, but Karl seems to have sacrificed himself for that advantage! Predator waits for Van Helden to get up, but Van Helden's still on the mat clutching his knees! Predator reaches for Van Helden, and Van Helden tries to kick the head of the Predator, to no avail! Predator whips Van Helden into the corner, and a HUGE splash! The Phenom then whips Van Helden into the OTHER corner! Another huge spla-NO! Van Helden ducks, and Travelli whips his crutch to the turnbuckle with enough velocity that it dents the Predator's mask! OH MY GOD! Smythe was too busy checking on Van Helden on the mat that she didn't see the blatant cheating by Don Travelli! But D! runs around to the side, as Travelli's waving his crutch like a bat, daring D! to come closer. Smythe notices the two men facing off at ringside, and tries to break them up. In the ring, Van Helden DDTs Predator! The Final Solution! Van Helden managed to hit the Predator with the Final Solution! He covers Predator, but Smythe's at the other side, trying to deal with D! and Travelli! JACK JONES: C'mon! That could have been an eight count by now! Karl Van Helden had this match won! BILL HEWSON: And if his partner Don Travelli wasn't being such a conniving sneak this match, maybe Van Helden would have got the win! Van Helden gets off Predator and walks over to the other side, arguing with NAPW referee Morgan Smythe about how he had the Predator pinned! But the Predator gets up and is crouched in the corner! C'mon, Van Helden! Turn around! When he does, Predator LAUNCHES himself from the corner and SPEAR! SPEAR! Predator covers Van Helden for the one, two, three! And the crowd's on their feet cheering. FRANK WARBURTON: Your winnerrrrrr of this match.... THE PREDATOORR!!! Van Helden's down on the mat, and the Predator turns his attention to Don Travelli on the outside. Travelli's still arguing with D!, but when he sees that D!'s just smirking, he turns around, and sees one livid Predator climbing out of the ring, intent on his prey. Don Travelli drops his crutch and RUNS UP THE RAMP AT FULL SPEED! BILL HEWSON: The hell? Don Travelli wasn't injured at all! He just wanted to weasel out of this matchup! JACK JONES: Hey, Hewson, the Don's a smart guy. I wouldn't want to be in the ring with that psycho! The Predator gives chase to the fleeing Don Travelli, as D!'s left at ringside, a confused expression on his face, shaking his head in disbelief. He shrugs, asks himself "How did I get involved with these guys?", waves to the audience and heads to the back himself, glad-handing fans along the way out.
Bang! A big pop and the Canadian born and bred blues-rock jive of Big Sugar brings the Moose to the ring, PUMPED UP in his Eskimos t-shirt and black trunks! JACK JONES: Bill, the Moose is the kinda guy who knows two seasons: winter and construction time! He's not always successful in the ring, hell, the last time we saw him, he dropped the Provincial Title to the rookie, Llyod Rees. The fans still love him. As Moose slides into the ring and hits the corners, the sounds of "Science" by System of a Down" brings the crowd to a monotone boo as the enigmatic Stein walks to the ring, accompanied by Dr. Morgoth, carrying a bag. "Walking" isn't the right term, come to think of it, he's in more of a stagger mode. Stein keeps just enough pace with Morgoth so that he knows where to go with every step. As Stein climbs into the ring, Morgoth takes his laptop from his bag and begins work. BILL HEWSON: Stein's gotta be feeling good going into this match, having just taken the rematch from Krusty Kid Paul in decisive fashion. JACK JONES: Feeling good?! Look at those eyes, how could Stein possibly feel anything? Sure enough, Moose is hopping in place and cracking his knuckles and neck, now shirtless, while Stein stands motionless in his corner and waits for Frank Warburton. FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first, EDMONTON, ALBERTA, CANADA! I give you, the MOOSE! MARK! MILLAR! (Big pop!) In the opposite corner, the protoype of Project Adam. He is accompanied by Dr. Morgoth, STEIN! Before the ring bell can even begin, Moose runs right at Stein with a barrage of lefts and rights, much to the delight of the Edmontonites in attendence. The power of the punches is enough to back Stein into the corner, where Moose then delivers a few standing clotheslines, pre-empted by yelling and other self-motivators. Moose grabs Stein by the right arm and violently whips him across the ring to the other turnbuckle, running behind him and clotheslining Stein as soon as he turns around, then once more. Moose then decides on a different approach to roughing up the much smaller man, and begins driving his shoulder repeatedly into Stein's abdomen as Dr. Morgoth types up information at ringside and shouts imperceptible instructions to his project. BILL HEWSON: Dr. Morgoth must have all of Stein's data on that computer, from where he's feeling pain right now to exactly how he can get back into this match. It's like a map of Stein's entire being! JACK JONES: He can have all of the computer data he wants. If Stein doesn't start getting in some offense on the Moose, this match is going to be over quickly! His resiliancy IS impressing me, however, he doesn't seem to be hurt at all by any of these moves. After some shoulder thrusts, Moose again whips Stein into the opposite turnbuckle and gives him a running clothesline. Stein doesn't shout in pain during any of this, in fact, he's barely selling the move. Moose notices this and gestures to the crowd, seeming to tell them, "Alright, time to get serious!" Moose lifts Stein to the top rope, punches him a few times while he's there, and puts himself in position to superplex Dr. Morgoth's experiment! As soon as the Doctor shouts something to him, though, Stein fluidly knees Moose in the gut, and uses his suplex position to flapjack the Moose down to the ring floor. Stein stares at Morgoth for instructions on what to do next, listens, and then goes to work. Stein climbs off of the turnbuckle and begins work on the throat of Moose, with strong chops and strikes, backing Moose into the ropes. Stein grabs Moose viciously by the throat and choke tosses him six feet without even bothering to take a step or two of momentum-building! BILL HEWSON: The feeling of astonishment in seeing a man of Stein's build throw heavyweights around the ring like he was one of their own never leaves me! JACK JONES: (munching on something) Yep, agreed. As Dr. Morgoth yelps in agreement, Stein picks up the Moose and drops him across the top-rope with a stun gun, leaving Moose grabbing his throat in pain. Stein lays the boots to the Moose as Millar staggers up with the backing of the crowd. When Moose rises, he's led to the ropes, irish whipped, and greeted with a perfectly-placed jumping clothesline right across the throat of the former oil rig worker. But the Moose is up! Showing a real sign of life thanks to the "MOOSE, MOOSE, MOOSE" chant that has picked up, the Moose is now brawling with Stein, matching punch for punch with the enigma! Stein takes a few steps back, runs for another clothesline, Moose ducks! As Morgoth shouts something about a "malfunction," Moose back body drops Stein--Stein weasels out! Stein grabs Moose by the back and is running him into the corner turnbuckle--Moose ducks again and Stein catches a faceful of turnbuckle! Crowd going nuts! Moose picks Stein up, running powerslam! No, Stein gets out again and pushes Moose into the ropes! Moose runs back at him with a head of steam, ducks as Stein jumps over him, Stein kills his momentum with another flapjack and the crowd dies! Stein picks Moose up again, Morgoth's signaling for the Vitiator! Weirdly, Stein doesn't do much about it until Morgoth slaps his fingers on the keyboard a few times... Vitiator's locked on! BILL HEWSON: And Moose, with the crowd firmly behind him, isn't leaving this match without a fight! That Vitiator's locked on tight, but Moose is still firing with the lefts and rights! JACK JONES: He's got a fire in his belly, alright, but that Vitiator's looking to rain on his parade! Moose's legs are giving out on him! Sure enough, Moose is fading, and quickly. A left here, another one there... as he falls to the ground, Morgoth is shouting with glee. Referee Henry Andrews goes for the three count, raising the arm. One! Two! And, much to the crowd's dismay, Moose's arm drops for the third time. FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of this match, via submission... STEIN! As the boos come raining down on Stein, he only stands and watches Dr. Morgoth shut down his computer and fold it into his bag. Finally, Morgoth beckons Stein to follow him to the back and Stein does, step for step.
BILL HEWSON: Really? You ate a bowl? JACK JONES: Well, it WAS made of bread, jackass... By the way, we're on. BILL HEWSON: (starts) Oh! Welcome back, wrestling fans! Frank Warburton's in the ring to announce the next match! FRANK WARBURTON: The following SIX-MAN TAG MATCH is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first, from the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada! Chris Casino and Evan Cartwright, they are the RAT PACK! Frank Sinatra croons as Casino and Cartwright make their appearance through the curtain. The crowd is booing them, except for a small contingent of fans in the front row who seem to be pro-Rat Pack. FRANK WARBURTON: And their tag team partner, from SOUTH BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS! DEVAAASTATION! The music turns to the Bloodhound Gang as the crowd starts singing along, "The roof! The roof! The roof is on fire!" Devastation comes out as Casino grimaces and Evan looks on. Devastation climbs the ring steps, and just waits at the apron looking evenly at Casino. "Well?" he asks his student. Casino looks pissed, but he shakes his head in disgust and opens the ropes for his mentor. The three of them confer in the ring, Casino trying to act aloof but listening to Devastation's instructions anyway. FRANK WARBURTON: AND THEIR OPPONENTS! From Edmonton, Alberta, at a combined weight of 470 pounds! Please welcome THE DUUUUUDES! The crowd cheers as KISS rocks the speakers! The Dudes come out, slapping the hands of everyone who's pulling for them. The music changes to some laid back beats as MF Doom starts to rap. FRANK WARBURTON: And THEIR partner! From Windsor, Ontario, weighing in at 175 pounds! The HARDCORE LUCHADOR! THIS! IS! STATIC! The crowd is OUT OF THEIR SEATS cheering on the masked man Static! BILL HEWSON: Even though Static just got out of the hospital due to that broken shoulder blade, he's not wearing any bandages on it! JACK JONES: If Static DID have a bandage wrapped around his shoulder, he might as well paint a bullseye on there as well! The Rat Pack know a liability when they see one! All six men are in the ring, as new NAPW referee John Sharplin informs them of the rules. Casino steps forward for his team, but Devastation steps in front of him. Casino's brow is furrowed, but he steps back. After some deliberation by the Dudes and Static, the Dudes step to the ring apron in their corner. Devastation grins as Static sizes him up. Sharplin calls for the bell! The two men start jabbering, and Devastation drops to one knee. "Here! I'll make it easier for you, halfpint!" Static takes the opportunity by pulling back his hand and SLAPPING the taste out of Devastation's mouth! Dev stands up and boxes the ears of Static! Static reels as Devastation bursts forth with a POWERFUL clothesline! The Vicious Phenom picks up the cruiserweight and ANOTHER clothesline! Devastation picks him up once more, puts out his hands to figure out the perfect angle, and a third clothesline! Static's on the mat in pain! But Devastation wants to keep on laying on the damage, and picks him up again. A whip to the ropes by Devastation, Static jumps onto the ropes for an ASAI MOONSAULT TAKEDOWN but Devastation catches him in midair in a Tombstone position, just like last time! Devastation taps his head, because he's obviously MUCH smarter than Static, or any of you! But Static decides to headbutt the closest part of Devastation this time around! GROIN! Dev staggers as he drops Static to the ground. And Static runs at Devastation, bringing him to the canvas with a crossbody! Sharplin drops for the pin! ONE! And Dev sits up, still holding Static? He gets up! FALLAWAY SLAM TO STATIC! Static's on the other side of the ring, writhing in pain as Devastation gets up to boos, fakes a yawn, and tags in Evan Cartwright! Cartwright looks confused, but he's not the kind of guy who hesitates. He goes for a spinning toe hold on the prone Static, but Static kicks free. Cartwright, like a jackal, drops an elbow on Static's knee, and then locks a submission hold on the knee, pulling it back for all it's worth! Static desperately grabs for the ropes, and Sharplin tells Cartwright to break the hold. Cartwright's holding on! A four count before Evan finally relents! Evan goes back to his corner and tags in his partner, Chris Casino! Casino saunters up to Static, who's holding onto his knee in pain. Casino looks at the Dudes, who are helpless in the corner, and tell them he can win this match before they even get into the ring! Casino grabs Static from behind and pulls back for a slingshot backbreaker! Static is dazed! Casino pulls the Canadian cruiserweight and throws him over the second rope. In the middle of the ring, Casino starts to dance. BILL HEWSON: That is the WORST Mexican Hat Dance I've ever seen! JACK JONES: C'mon, Hewson, get into the spirit! Ya da da da da da da da da daaa... Chris Casino finishes his dance and charges at Static for a running knee, but he's used too much time. Static rolls out of the way and Casino gets nothing but ROPE! OUCH! Static capitalizes by tagging in a fresh Cameron Scott! Scott shoulderblocks a woozy Casino. Cartwright runs into the ring, only to be hit with a running shoulder as well! Devastation runs in! A LINEBACKER TACKLE by the big man! Casino's back on his feet, running at Cam, but Cam picks up Casino under his shoulder and SEND HIM TO THE MAT! Cam Scott's a HOUSE! ON! FIRE! Scott picks up Casino for a scoop slam! Cam looks at the crowd, looks to the prone Casino on the mat, and jumps up into the air! A STANDING SPLASH! But Casino rolls out of the way! He IS a former NAPW champ! A kip up by Casino and a SUPERKICK out of NOWHERE against the skull of the beefy Dude! Cam drops to the mat as Casino jumps on top of him, just throwing the closed fists as Cartwright and Devastation encourage him from their corner! Junior Referee John Sharplin starts counting for Casino to stop with the punching! Three! Four! The brash young American gets up off Cam Scott with a quick kick to the ribs, and climbs to the top turnbuckle. An elbow from the top rope HITS Scott in the stomach! Chris Casino with the pin! One! TWO! THR-NO!!!! Cam Scott kicks out! Chris Casino jaws at the ref, telling him that was OBVIOUSLY three, and Devastation's yelling at Casino from his corner! "C'mon, bitch! You can't pin him after a flying elbow? I guess I know why you're a FORMER champion!" Casino storms over to his corner, and just SLAPS the chest of Devastation. Devastation looks down at where Casino hit him, look back up as Casino and grins. He gets into the ring. JACK JONES: Was that a tag by Casino? BILL HEWSON: I'm not sure if Chris Casino MEANT it as such, but Devastation's taking it as one. Devastation, still looking and smirking at Casino, slaps Evan Cartwright on the chest. Cartwright, determined to stay out of the situation between his two partners, runs in the ring, throwing a Spinning Toe Hold on Cam Scott. Scott POWERS OUT OF IT, having enough time to recuperate while Devastation and Casino bickered. Cam stands up, as Cartwright rears back. ROARING ELBOW! Scott seems a bit fazed. Cartwright takes a step back, and ANOTHER ROARING ELBOW! Scott staggers. Cartwright runs backwards to the ropes for a THIRD ROARING ELBOW but Scott picks him up and SPINEBUSTER! That almost sent Evan Cartwright THROUGH the canvas! Cam runs to his corner and tags in the fresh man, Mike Johnston! Mike ducks through the ropes, building up speed to the just-standing Cartwright. TORNADO DDT! Cartwright's staring at the ceiling! Mike with a standing moonsault onto Evan! A pin! One! TWO! A shoulder's up! Mike picks up Evan, and sends him to the ropes! Mike trying for a clothesline, but Evan ducks around Johnston and applies a sleeper! Mike's fighting, but Evan's got it locked in good and tight! Mike's losing air, and his eyes go glassy. Sharplin raises Mike's hand, and it drops! Sharplin again! Mike's hand drops a second time! This could be it! Evan could win by a sleeper hold if Mike's hand drops a third time. And MIKE STILL HAS SOME LIFE LEFT IN HIM! Evan can't believe it! Mike's shaking with rage now! He's spinning Evan Cartwright around slowly, turns around INTO A SUPERKICK BY CASINO! Casino dives back out of the ring as Evan pins! One! Two! Cam Scott with an elbow! He's lunging for Casino in the Rat Pack's corner but is restrained by John Sharplin! Evan Cartwright pushes Mike Johnston into the clutches of the Rat Pack! All three members start laying in the blows while the ref's back is turned! Cam Scott, however, can see EVERYTHING and is absolutely LIVID! And Mike Johnston is burst wide open by the Rat Pack! Evan Cartwright goes upstairs as the ref comes back to the action! Devastation taps Cartwright just before a DIAMOND DUST ONTO THE SMALLER DUDE! Cartwright hooks the leg of Johnston and starts counting himself, raising one, two, three fingers. But there's no count by the ref! Evan gets up and starts arguing with the ref as Devastation gets into the ring. Sharplin tells Evan that Devastation's the legal man as Dev stands there smirking at his partner. "BULL(BLEEP)!" yells Evan. Evan's in Devastation's face as the bigger man just stands there impassive. Casino climbs in to stop his teammates from arguing. BILL HEWSON: Looks like the Rat Pack might explode here, Jack. JACK JONES: Nonsense! They're just sorting our their differences. It's just a misunderstanding, Hewson! Meanwhile, while the three men of the Rat Pack bicker, Mike Johnston is crawling ever so slowly to his side of the ring. Devastation looks up... directly at Mike... angrily shouts at his boys to MOVE! TOO LATE! The crowd cheers as Mike TAGS IN STATIC! Three smartasses at ringside flash jazz hands and stage whisper "HOT! TAG!" BILL HEWSON: THAT'S ONE HOT TAG! JACK JONES: I'm not SEEING THIS! Static EXPLODES into the ring, mouth blazing with obscenities, and the fans MATCH that enthusiasm with their cheers! A spinning elbow DROPS Evan Cartwright! Static bounces off the ropes and NAILS Casino with a flying lariat! He kips up, ducks a swing from Devastation... DROPSAULT! Devastation tumbles across the ring, head over heels! Cartwright and Casino are back up, and try a double clothesline the Hardcore Luchadore, but he JUST CAN'T BE STOPPED! He slides under their attack... Casino and Cartwright stop dead and turn... into a DOUBLE DDT! Cartwright bounces clear to the ropes, and Casino spins on his head before falling prone! Static kips up AGAIN... and HERE COMES DEVASTATION! He's like a FREIGHT TRAIN! He charges the masked man full tilt, but Static sidesteps and the Vicious Phenom collides with the corner hard enough to shake the RING! BILL HEWSON: GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! Junior Referee John Sharplin was IN THAT CORNER! HE'S BEEN FLATTENED! The ref is OUT in the corner! Devastation staggers back, winded. Casino and Cartwright roll out of the ring. Static hits the ropes... Devastation turns... LEAPING DDT!? NO! Devastation CATCHES Static in midair... STO! The Hardcore Luchadore is SLAMMED to the ring, and thrashes in agony! Devastation wipes some sweat from his eyes, and then sneers down at Static. He marches to the ropes and yells something down at Cartwright and Casino, then returns to where Static is trying to climb to his feet and pulls him up. BILL HEWSON: What is this!? Is he TOYING with Static!? Oh... NO! CARTWRIGHT HAS A CHAIR! Good lord! There's no referee! Cartwright has the chair! The Dudes are just now climbing back up to their corner! Devastation shouts something vile at the wounded luchadore, then hauls Static up and sets him up for Cartwright... Cartwright swings... STATIC DUCKS! OH HOLY HELL! DEVASTATION TAKES THE SHOT FULL IN THE FACE! JACK JONES: NO! NO! The crowd EXPLODES in cheers as Devastation hangs there for a second, then TOPPLES like Redwood! The Dudes CRASH the ring! Cameron Scott with a LINEBACKER TACKLE that takes Evan Cartwright - chair and all - right through the ropes! Casino hits the ring apron to make the save, but Mike Johnston... AIR CANADA! Casino flies into the GUARDRAIL, and Mike rouses the fallen Sharplin! And Static... Static has gone upstairs, baby. MOMENT OF CLARITY!!! Devastation thrashes! Static clutches at his ribs and writhes in agony! BILL HEWSON: PIN! PIN! SOMEONE GET THE PIN! Static... grimacing... rolls over on Devastation! Hooks the leg! There's the pin! Sharplin is there, clutching his ribs! ONE! Painfully SLOW! TWO! GOOD GOD COUNT THREE... THREE! THREE! THE CROWD IS ON IT'S FEET! FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners... STATIC and THE DUUUUUUUDES! BILL HEWSON: HE GOT HIM! The Dudes help pull Static from the ring. The whole time, Static just UNLEASHES a torrent of trash talk at the fallen Phenom, and the crowd chants along as Static tells Devastation to "SUCK MY VOODOO!" All three men start backing toward the entrance, and the Dudes... they lift Static up on their shoulders in triumph! BILL HEWSON: Look at that team! The Crimes-Dudes Alliance, Jack Jones! What a combination! JACK JONES: Look what they've done to... to this LEGEND! How DARE they!? In the ring, Devastation rises... and his face is RED WITH FURY. He climbs to his feet and storms around the ring, kicking turnbuckles and ropes, and angrily screaming at the crowd to shut up as they begin chanting "You got TOLD! You got TOLD!" Cartwright and Casino both slide into the ring to calm him down... and Devastation gets RIGHT into Cartwright's face the moment they stand. JACK JONES: You TELL him! Evan Cartwright scowls as he receives a spit-laden diatribe. His eyes flash dangerously. The crowd starts chanting "Kick his ass! Kick his ass!" but Cartwright just stands there and TAKES it! Chris Casino, now, gets between the two men and tries to get Devastation to calm down... but Devastation shoves Casino aside and SLAPS Cartwright, right in the mouth! BILL HEWSON: He just slapped the TASTE out of Evan Cartwright! JACK JONES: He's lucky he got off so light, considering Cartwright just cost his mentor the match... to STATIC of all people! Chris Casino looks anxious. Evan Cartwright nurses his jaw, but backs down, starting a hole in the canvas. The crowd starts to BOO as Devastation goes to leave the ring, barking at his lackeys to come to heel. But neither member of the Rat Pack makes a move. Devastation turns around slowly, and very clearly says, "I said MOVE! Now!" Chris Casino steps up, and looks Devastation in the eye. There's a tense moment as the two men GLARE at one another. Evan Cartwright has moved back, standing behind Devastation and glancing quizzically at Chris Casino. After a moment... Casino backs down, averting his gaze. Devastation smirks...
SUPERKICK!
JACK JONES: NO! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! The crowd is ON IT'S FEET! Chris Casino bends down with a smirk and sticks a finger in Devastation's dazed face, then starts yelling down at him. Cartwright cracks his knuckles, stoic...but with just the hint of a smile on his face. The Rat Pack then just starts STOMPING away at their mentor. After a second, Casino motions to Cartwright, the two men haul up Devastation, place him up against the ropes... DOUBLE SUPERKICK! Devastation TOPPLES over the ropes and lands in a heap on the ground! And then it happens. The crowd starts chanting "CASINO! CARTWRIGHT! CASINO! CARTWRIGHT!" Evan Cartwright shakes his head in disbelief. Chris Casino... he looks puzzled! Like he doesn't know exactly what he's hearing! But after a moment, it sinks in, and the former NAPW Champion hits the turnbuckle and smirks at the crowd, to a shocking round of cheers! JACK JONES: This... this is the saddest day in NAPW history, Bill Hewson. BILL HEWSON: I think quite the opposite, my gloomy chum! I don't think I've EVER been so proud that these two men are a part of the NAPW! We have to go to commercial! And the Rat Pack is standing, taking in the unprecedented cheers of the crowd as we cut away...
JACK JONES: This isn't going to be a match, its going to be a slaughter. BILL HEWSON: Nightmare held his own against Caliban last time. JACK JONES: Is that what you call getting tossed off the top of the bleachers? "Someday" blasts across the PA and Nightmare comes out from the back to a sizable ovation from the crowd, having won many over in his epic struggle with Caliban two weeks ago. Nightmare is all business, hands clenched as he makes his way down into the ring. He throws his arms up into the air once to acknowledge the cheers, but quickly drops them and goes back to staring up the aisle. JACK JONES: Good move sending the cheater out first so he couldn't attack Caliban from behind again. Nine Inch Nails hits, rocking "The Wretched" and Ringmaster Iago appears from behind the curtains, beckoning with his cane as the crowd tries to jeer him right back to the locker room. The noise from the crowd is drowned out by a beastly roar as Caliban appears behind the Ringmaster. Iago leads his monstrous charge slowly down to the ring. Caliban steps up onto the apron as Frank Warburton begins his introductions. FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH! Introducing first- We never find out who was to be introduced first as Nightmare launches himself across the ring to blast Caliban across his broad back with a double axe-handle while the monster still has one leg on either side of the ropes. Warburton quickly exits the ring with his microphone as Nightmare lays into Caliban with rapid lefts and rights. Nightmare grabs the top rope and jerks it up sharply, crotching Caliban. The eyes of the men in the crowd water with sympathy, but Caliban gets no mercy from Nightmare's onslaught as he hits the ropes and comes right back with a thunderous clothesline that drops Caliban to slam into the edge of the apron and then to the outside. Somehow the mountainous man manages to land on his feet, but Nightmare isn't done yet. He grabs the top rope and hurls himself to the outside at Caliban, more rage than finesse in that move. He lands on Caliban with a huge crossbody... NO! Caliban staggers backwards but doesn't go down! The huge man has caught Nightmare in mid-air! Caliban roars and then charges to slam the small of Nightmare's back into the ring post. Caliban takes a step back and then muscles Nightmare over his head into a gorilla press. Ringmaster Iago points to the end of the unpadded aisle to the ring and Caliban obligingly drops Nightmare onto the unforgiving concrete. BILL HEWSON: The power of the Amazonian monster is staggering! He caught a 300 pound man in mid-air! JACK JONES: Nightmare doesn't stand a chance against Caliban this time! Nightmare rolls on the floor clutching his ribs in pain after that impact, and Caliban walks over to the protective railing on the side of the aisle. Security blocks off the fans as Caliban grabs a section of railing and pulls it free, lifting it high over his head. Nightmare gets up to his knees but is dropped right back down as the monster smashes the section of steel across his back. Caliban drives the edge of the railing into the small of Nightmare's back, eliciting a cry of pain from the tough-as-nails superstar. Caliban sets the section up in the middle of the aisle and drags Nightmare to his feet. Caliban sets Nightmare up for a side backbreaker and drives Nightmare's back down on the top of the railing. Caliban doesn't let Nightmare fall back to the ground, instead grabbing him by the legs and the face, pushing on both to rack Nightmare across the railing. Fighting through tremendous pain, Nightmare reaches up and delivers a stiff right between the eyes of his masked opponent. Caliban shakes the blow off but the next one gives him pause. Nightmare sends his fist up again and again into the masked face of the monster until it seems that he might break free. Instead Caliban hauls him bodily off the railing in a crossbody hold. Caliban lifts Nightmare almost over his head and brings him crashing back down on the railing... REVERSAL! Nightmare swings his legs free and grabs Caliban by the head on the way down, dropping the monster's throat right across the steel! Caliban pops straight back up, his hands going to his neck as he struggles to draw a breath. Nightmare throws both of his legs out in a low front dropkick, kicking the railing straight into Caliban's legs with a loud crash. Caliban's knees go out from the impact and he tumbles to the floor. Both men are down! BILL HEWSON: Nightmare just barely escaped possibly having his back broken by Caliban! The monster is out for blood tonight! JACK JONES: And you damn well better believe that he's going to get it before this is over! Caliban is first back to his feet as Nightmare still struggles with the injury done to his back in the last few moments. Caliban grabs Nightmare by the hair... and Nightmare comes screaming up to his feet, knocking both of Caliban's arms away and delivering a hard knee to the stomach that stuns the huge man. Nightmare grabs Caliban's arm in both hands and whips him back towards the ring with all of his strength. Caliban crashes into the ring apron and Nightmare charges after him to nail him with a back elbow. Caliban stumbles forward... double arm DDT! Nightmare rolls him over for the pin and Henry Andrews drops to make the count; 1... 2... Caliban powers out! Caliban rolls to his side and grabs the ring steps, pulling himself up to his feet. Nightmare grabs Caliban by the back of the head and drives his face down into those same steps once... twice... three times! Caliban roars and spins towards Nightmare, more enraged than injured by the rapid impacts, and the steps come with him! Nightmare catches a face full of steel and drops to the ground with blood rushing from a long gash across his face, reopened from when Caliban slashed him with a jagged piece of wood in their last match. Nightmare gets some time to crawl away around the side of the ring as Caliban staggers where he stands, the steps drooping in his massive hands. The monster recovers himself and begins stalking after Nightmare in the direction of the time keeper. BILL HEWSON: Nightmare needs to mount some offense quickly to stay in this match. JACK JONES: No chance! This one is just about over, I can feel it. Nightmare stops about a foot from the timekeeper, his face still pouring blood. The timekeeper gets quickly up from his chair as the bloody Nightmare reaches out, a nauseated look on his face. Caliban lifts the heavy steps over his head as he steps up behind Nightmare and Ringmaster Iago yells for the monster to finish the job. The stairs come to head-level for Caliban as he adjusts his grip and NIGHTMARE GRABS THE TIMEKEEPER'S CHAIR! Nightmare lurches to his feet and swings around in one motion, driving the chair into the steps, slamming them right back into Caliban's head! The monster topples over backwards, the steps landing across his face with a crash. Nightmare raises the chair and brings it down again and again on the steps, each blow crushing Caliban's face beneath the steel. The blows ring out across the gym, overshadowed by the cheers from the crowd. Ringmaster Iago looks stunned by the turn of events and Nightmare's eyes have a glazed look as he repeatedly slams the chair down until the chair isn't recognizable as anything other than a twisted lump of metal. Nightmare finally tosses the ruined chair aside and kicks the steps off Caliban's face, the monster completely unmoving at this point. Nightmare isn't done with his nemesis yet as he reaches down and drags Caliban up off the floor. Nightmare slams Caliban's head into the ring apron then leaves him half-in and half-out of the ring. Nightmare reaches under the ring and brings out a table, to a huge roar of approval from the crowd. Nightmare sets up the table and grabs the monster by the throat with both hands. It looks like its time for The Dreamcatcher! Nightmare lifts Caliban up into the air and CRACK! Ringmaster Iago slams his cane into the back of Nightmare's head! Caliban falls to the floor, blood leaking slowly out from under his mask, and Nightmare turns to face Iago with hatred burning in his eyes. BILL HEWSON: That may have been Ringmaster Iago's biggest mistake ever. Caliban is still in no shape to stop Nightmare from doing whatever he wants to that little weasel. JACK JONES: Weasel? You and Nightmare both need to show some respect for a vast intellect like Iago's! Andrews, you keep Nightmare away from him! Iago backs off slowly, then turns and runs around the side of the ring as Nightmare raises his fist. Nightmare gives chase and Iago slides into the ring only to slide back out the other side. Ringmaster Iago is losing ground to Nightmare as he sprints around the ring and again slides inside. This time Nightmare cuts him off, sliding in from the other side and staring Iago down. Iago turns to run but Nightmare grabs him by the goatee. The fans are screaming for Nightmare to do some damage, and Nightmare obliges them. THE DREAMCATCHER on Iago in the center of the ring! The gym is exploding with cheers and applause for Nightmare! Nightmare goes over to the ropes and looks down at Caliban... but the monster is gone! Nightmare yells at Andrews, asking where Caliban went, but the ref just shrugs his shoulders. Nightmare is scanning the floor, the crowd, frantically trying to see where Caliban escaped to. Nightmare shakes the ropes in frustration and- BILL HEWSON: Where did Caliban go? Its like he just disappeared into thin air once Iago was knocked out cold by The Dreamcatcher! JACK JONES: Don't be ridiculous, he must have just... THERE! Caliban crawls out from under the ring, then slides under the ropes like a snake behind Nightmare. Nightmare is pointing down to where Caliban had fallen, beside the table when the monster's huge hands catch Nightmare by the throat and the back of the head. Nightmare struggles but in vain as Caliban lifts his straight up into the air, over the ropes... HEART OF DARKNESS! HEART OF DARKNESS to the outside, sending Nightmare crashing into the table which explodes into splinters! Caliban roars as he steps over the top and down to the outside. Caliban makes the cover on Nightmare; 1... 2... 3. The crowd is booing and jeering, throwing full cups and popcorn at the huge Caliban as the bell rings to signal the end of the match. FRANK WARBURTON: And the winner of the match, by pinfall... CALIBAN! Caliban goes back into the ring and collects Ringmaster Iago, lifting the man up onto one shoulder and then leaving the ring. Caliban walks out of the gym slowly, blood staining his throat and the eyeslits of his mask where it dripped out, a definite stagger in his step showing that even he has felt the effects of the brutal match. By ringside Nightmare stirs and slowly pushes himself up to his knees, his face a horrific mask of blood. He shoves Henry Andrews away as he tries to help Nightmare to his feet and stands on his own power. The entire crowd is giving Nightmare a standing ovation and he acknowledges it by raising both of his hands before having to steady himself on the ring apron. Nightmare slowly makes his way to the back, accepting the handshakes and pats on the shoulder from the fans who are still standing for his performance here tonight as he goes. BILL HEWSON: What has to be a heartbreaking loss for Nightmare tonight, but the fans are showing just how much they appreciate what he has gone through for them. JACK JONES: For them? Not a chance, this whole thing was trying to satisfy Nightmare's own ego! BILL HEWSON: At least he was able to take some measure of revenge on Iago, and I for one was glad to see it! JACK JONES: Glad to see a helpless man attacked by a raving lunatic? I'm sure you were, you sick freak. BILL HEWSON: Iago got just what he deserved for interfering in the match and costing Nightmare the victory. JACK JONES: He didn't cost him anything, Caliban was playing possum the whole time.
BILL HEWSON: That's just wrong. But we're back, and it's time... for the Tag Team Title Match! FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and Gentlemen... it's time for the MAAAAAIIIIN EVENT... and it is for the TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! The crowd's reaction is mixed as "Jaws of the Lion" hits the sound system, and The Doomriders emerge from the back. BILL HEWSON: Wow. Sick Billy Kryenik looks focused and ready for action. JACK JONES: Whoa! Is Tommy Deathrow drunk!? He might be... or at least he's tipsy, happily glad-handing on his way to the ring, while Kryenik shouts at him to hurry up. Sick Billy climbs into the ring, while Tommy Deathrow circles the it, playing to the crowd. JACK JONES: This is practically a one man team, Bill Hewson, and that man's in the ring. But it takes two-or-more men to dethrone the UNBEATABLE New & Improved D-X. Speaking of whom. "Low" hits and the crowd is awash in boos. Stylin' Kyle and Bruce "The Beast" Richards step out of the back, wearing the NAPW Tag Team Gold that has so rarely left their possession. Notably, Stylin' Kyle is sporting his new green tights, "Stylin'" in gold lettering down the side. He pulls off his "Stylin' Kyle is my favourite wrestler" tee-shirt and hucks it into the crowd. BILL HEWSON: Wow! Look at that chest hair! Behind them, Ryan Kingston, Kyle's lawyer, also comes out. They make their way to the ring at their own pace, sneering at fans whether they boo or cheer. Kingston, however, detours to the announce table. BILL HEWSON: It looks like we're going to be joined tonight by Stylin' Kyle Roberts' lawyer, Ryan Kingston. RYAN KINGSTON: Gentlemen. JACK JONES: What a treat! A law school graduate! FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, weighing in at a combined weight of FOUR HUNDRED and NINETY FIVE pounds... TOMMY DEATHROW... SICK BILLY KRYENIK... they are the DOOOOOOOOMRIDERS. And their opponents, at a combined total weight of FIVE HUNDRED and TWENTY SEVEN pounds... STYLIN' KYLE ROBERTS... BRUCE "THE BEAST" RICHARDS... they are the NEW and IMPROVED... DEEEEEE-EEEEEEEX! Kryenik and Roberts look to be starting things off, Kryenik getting right up in Stylin' Kyle's face, mouth going a mile-a-minute. And Senior Ring Official Dick Kiebiech calls for the bell! Stylin' Kyle shoves Sick Billy back, smirks, and BITCH SLAPS the Doomrider! Ultimate show of disrespect! Those fans who don't immediately BOO start chanting "You got bitch slapped!" Stylin' Kyle laughs out loud, but Kryenik lashes back with a STIFF Right Hook that DROPS Roberts and shuts him the hell up, and the crowd cheers! RYAN KINGSTON: Was that a closed fist!? Illegal blow! Disqualification! Call for the bell! BILL HEWSON: This match only just started! Roberts recovers fairly quickly, nursing his jaw, but leaps away from Kryenik and tags in The Beast. Bruce Richards, now, steps into the ring, but gets RUSHED by Sick Billy! Kryenik is all fired up tonight, and he drives Bruce into his own corner! Dick Kiebiech is right there, calling for a clean break, and Billy obliges grudgingly... only to have The Beast surge forward with a short-arm clothesline. Kryenik goes head over heels, but scrambles to the safety of his corner and tags in Tommy Deathrow. BILL HEWSON: A lot of quick tags early in this match up. JACK JONES: It's not a bad strategy, Bill Hewson. It keeps the active team member fresh, and gives you a better chance to try and isolate an opponent. These are two experienced teams, and they know the play book. RYAN KINGSTON: Is that man drunk? This is an outrage! Reckless endangerment of my clients by putting them in the ring with a man who couldn't even DRIVE right now? The NAPW Management will be hearing from me tomorrow! Deathrow happily circles Roberts. The Beast tries to lock up with him, but Deathrow taunts him - no, TEASES him - just dancing away when The Beast gets close. Richards' cool begins to crack a bit, his frown deepening. Having enough of this, he rushes forward, but Deathrow goes downstaris... drop toe hold! Richards gets planted on his face, and rolls away just as Tommy Deathrow goes to drop an elbow. The Beast rises fast, springs at Tommy Deathrow with a flying lariat... and Deathrow goes down! Richards rises fast, goes to grab Deathrow, and takes a head butt in the gizzards! The Beast, winded, doubles over! RYAN KINGSTON: Lowblow! Ref! Call it! Sick Billy is calling for the tag, and Tommy Deathrow obliges while The Beast straightens. Before Richards can make the tag to Stylin' Kyle, Kryenik closes from behind! He ducks low, scooping Richards onto his shoulders... ELECTRIC CHAIR DROP! Into a pin! One! Two! And Stylin' Kyle with the double axe-handle, breaking up the pin. Dick Kiebiech sends Roberts back to his corner, and Kryenik pulls Bruce to his feet. Sick Billy whips the Beast at the ropes, follows right up with a CLOTHESLINE, but The Beast doesn't go over the top, he just collapses to the mat like a sack of bricks. The Doomrider hits the ring apron, jumps... SPRINGBOARD ELBOW DROP! Right into The Beast's heart! And another pin! One! Two! Foot on the ropes! Kyle Roberts AGAIN saving his partner from the pinfall! JACK JONES: Smart play from the tag team that's smarter than you... but Richards is in trouble, and Stylin' Kyle needs to make the tag! D-X seems to be on the same wavelength. The Beast reaches out, trying to make a tag on Kyle, but Kryenik is merciless, pulling The Beast away from his corner. He softens up Richards with a few short forearm shots, then whips him into the Doomrider corner. Kryenik swiftly sets the Beast up on the top rope, then tags in Deathrow. Tommy Deathrow goes upstairs... and he's calling for the PILEDRIVER! This could be IT... NO! NO! Stylin' Kyle, with speed bourne by DESPERATION, circled the ring, caught Deathrow's leg, and GROINED him on the top turnbuckle! Deathrow spills out of the ring, clutching at his junk, and the Beast spills into the ring. JACK JONES: I've never seen Roberts move so fast! He knew that if the Doomriders hit that top-rope piledriver, this match was OVER! Stylin' Kyle Roberts, perhaps seeing his title reign flashing before his eyes, recklessly hits the ring, with a flying elbow that levels Kryenik! He grabs hold of his partner and DRAGS him to the D-X corner, and tags himself in! He turns... and Sick Billy PLANTS his right fist, right in Roberts' face! Stylin' Kyle reels, Sick Billy whips him to the ropes... KISS OF BABYLON! Stylin' Kyle gets LAID OUT! RYAN KINGSTON: He's not the legal man! Get him out of there! BILL HEWSON: Oh, because D-X NEVER crash the ring! RYAN KINGSTON: Are you implying that my clients are CHEATERS, Hewson!? That's SLANDER! BILL HEWSON: It isn't SLANDER if it's the TRUTH, Mr. Law School! RYAN KINGSTON: You'd better watch that MOUTH, or you'll find yourself in COURT. And like my clients, I NEVER LOSE! JACK JONES: Speaking of losing... I think Kiebiech's lost control of this match! Kryenik sets up Stylin' Kyle... and now he's calling for the DRY LAKE... but Bruce "The Beast" closes from behind and catches him into a COBRA CLUTCH... BOMB! Kryenik clutches at the back of his head and rolls aside. Bruce goes after him... but gets intercepted by Tommy Deathrow! Toe Kick... and then Deathrow hits that sweet elevated knee smash! Deathrow goes to scoop up The Beast, but now it's Kyle Roberts with the save... BRAINBUSTER! Tommy Deathrow is planted in the ring, Kyle points at the still prone Kryenik, hits the ropes... LIONSAULT... NO! Kryenik gets his knees up! Roberts clutches at his ribs in anguish! There's no order in the match! The crowd is going crazy! RYAN KINGSTON: I'm going to RUIN Kiebiech! This man isn't fit to officiate a SPELLING B! Kryenik has pulled Bruce Richards to his feet. Tommy Deathrow shakily rises too, and shoots Sick Billy a glance. Billy whips Richards... INTO A SPEAR! Deathrow lays him out! RYAN KINGSTON: ILLEGAL DOUBLE TEAM! DQ! DQ DAMN IT! And Deathrow, now, pulls the woozy Beast into a sitting position... and Kryenik NAILS him with a stiff kick! The Doomriders are ALL FIRED UP! Sick Billy shouts at Tommy Deathrow that it's time... for the THRONES AND DOMINIONS! The crowd is on it's feet... LOWBLOW! LOWBLOW FROM BEHIND! Kryenik THRASHES his way right out of the ring! Stylin' Kyle rushes at Deathrow and beheads him with a clothesline! He starts tapping his head, grinning, and the crowd sings along "Smarter than the Doomriders!" Bruce the Beast has staggered to his feet. Both members of D-X, now, take hold of one of Deathrow's legs... NEW & IMPROVED DOUBLE LEG DRAG! Roberts with a quick pin... One! TWO! KICKOUT! The crowd goes NUTS! D-X can't BELIEVE it! Kyle pounds the mat while The Beast argues with Kiebiech, INSISTING it was three. BILL HEWSON: You aren't going to convince Kiebiech of anything! Why don't you wrestle! Maybe Bruce heard him? Richards pulls up a limp Deathrow and whips him HARD into the corner. Stylin' Kyle and Bruce the Beast follow up with a DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE in the corner... and then Bruce, with a sick smirk, gestures for Kyle to set Tommy up on the top rope. They heft him up, then climb to the top rope... is it a double-team superplex!? KRYENIK IS IN THE RING! He sprints to the corner... hooks D-X's legs... AND DOUBLE BACK DROP! HOLY HELL! All four men FLY into the ring! The crowd is ON IT'S FEET! JACK JONES: Sick Billy Kryenik just SACRIFICED Tommy Deathrow! Deathrow rolls out of the ring and collapses outside. Kryenik picks up Stylin' Kyle, sets him up... SIT OUT PEDIGREE! And there's the pin! ONE! TWO! And Bruce the Beast plants his foot in Sick Billy's face to break the pin! Sick Billy holds his face, staggers, turns... MANDIBLE CLAW! MANDIBLE CLAW! BILL HEWSON: There's a move we haven't seen in a while! JACK JONES: And a devastating one at that! This could be the match! Kryenik is FADING... FAST! He DESPERATELY flails, but THIS COULD BE IT... DEATHROW! DEATHROW with a toe kick that breaks the claw and doubles over the Beast... FALCON ARROW! Sick Billy staggers into Stylin' Kyle who cinches the waist! Tommy Deathrow PINS THE BEAST! ONE! TWO! THR- RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! JACK JONES: And now Roberts is SACRIFICING THE BEAST! Kryenik FLEW the air and CRASHED into Deathrow and Richards. All three men are lying in heaps throughout the ring! Kyle stalks over to Deathrow with PURPOSE, hooks the legs... and it's THE BEARTAMER! Deathrow flails and catches the ropes... but Kyle forcefully PULLS HIM BACK from them before Kiebiech can call for the break! The crowd is going NUTS! Deathrow's hand goes up... HE'S GOING TO SUBMIT! POLAR-IZER!? Sick Billy Kryenik comes off the top rope and NAILS Roberts WITH HIS OWN MOVE! The crowd LOVES IT! RYAN KINGSTON: TRADEMARK INFRINGEMENT! Roberts hangs for a second, stunned, then collapses all at once! Kryenik grabs limbs... BRANCH BREAKER STF! Roberts cries out in AGONY... but the Beast is on the top rope! FLYING MOONSAULT!! He FLATTENS both men, BREAKING the hold! JACK JONES: WHY DOESN'T ANYONE CARE ABOUT THEIR PARTNERS!? Kryenik was just SANDWICHED between both members of D-X, and he rolls out of the ring to collapse at ringside. The Beast is on his feet quickly, turns... into a stiff toe kick from Tommy Deathrow! Deathrow pulls The Beast into the set up... for the DEATHROW DRIVER! He signals to the crowd! THIS IS IT! NO! Kyle rushes in and RAKES THE EYES! The blinded Deathrow reels... Stylin' Kyle hefts him up... EMERALD FUSION! Kyle pins... and GETS HIS LEGS ON THE ROPES! THE REF DOESN'T SEE! ONE! TWO! Sick Billy slides into the ring... TOO LATE! THREE! FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners, and STILL Tag Team CHAMPIONS... DEEEEEE-EEEEEX! BILL HEWSON: NO! NO! Why can't D-X EVER WIN CLEANLY! JACK JONES: Proven tactics? RYAN KINGSTON: Considering the utter failure of the officiating of the match and the BLATANT and FLAGRANT disregard for the rules by both Doomriders, I think it's only JUST that my clients evened the odds. No jury would argue that! JACK JONES: I'm with Kingston, Bill Hewson. It's not unfair if your opponents do it too. BILL HEWSON: Two wrongs DO NOT make a right! Stylin' Kyle has pulled Bruce the Beast out of the ring, and the duo collects their titles and lawyer from the announce table. D-X and Kingston back toward the entrance, sneering at the Doomriders, and holding their gold high. Sick Billy pounds the mat in frustration, glaring dangerously after the tag champs! Tommy Deathrow slowly rises, using the ropes for support. Kryenik turns to Deathrow, and starts shouting at him, but Deathrow just shrugs... Sick Billy Kryenik with the RIGHT HOOK! Deathrow drops, and Kryenik just starts HAMMERING away at him! The crowd isn't sure what to make of it, and D-X stop to enjoy the show, laughing at the display! Wait! Karl van Helden, Don Travelli and Axe rush past D-X and hit the ring! BILL HEWSON: Are they breaking up the fight!? What's going on!? HOLY HELL! KVH and Axe each pick a Doomrider and the fists start to fly! Don Travelli, injured, is directing them to send the Doomriders over the top rope...THE DUDES! Mike Johnston and Cameron Scott come out of the crowd and hit the ring! Scott LINEBACKER TACKLES Travelli into the corner, and Mike comes off the top rope with a Dropkick that levels Van Helden! But now the NEWFOUNDLANDERS rush past D-X! They collide with the Dudes! The Doomriders have retaken their feet! LOBO! He storms thee ring with AUTHORITY, dropping Deathrow, Johnston and Jakey in short order! JACK JONES: These... these are all men from the SOLE SURVIVOR MATCH! BILL HEWSON: It's every man for himself! INCOMING! Diamond and the Delivery Men! Diamond collides with Axe, and the Delivery Men each pick a Newfie to start beating up! Don Travelli is about to throw Cameron Scott over the top rope... but THE PREDATOR COMES OUT OF NOWHERE! SPEAR! SPEAR! Travelli is FLATTENED in the ring! STEIN! Stein rushes the ring and starts exchanging blows with the Lobo... but THE MOOSE comes in from behind and takes Stein off his feet! And Nenji! Nenji out of the crowd! Up to the top rope! It's a BODY SPLASH that flattens FIVE different superstars! JACK JONES: Someone call the cops! Where's security! STORM! Tempest and Thunder, directed by Tex, they rush the ring! No sooner than that it's the Celtic Assassins! Bobby O'Brady shouting "I'm number THIRTY!" as he hits the ring! Tour Ed and Krusty Kid Paul rush past the tag champions too! The ring is FULL of superstars! The New & Improved D-X are almost in tears they're laughing so hard... THE RAT PACK! FROM BEHIND! Chris Casino and Evan Cartwright! BILL HEWSON: What's GOING ON HERE!? Cartwright pulls The Beast around and NAILS a standing dropkick that levels the champion. Chris Casino throws Stylin' Kyle into the guardrail with AUTHORITY! Ryan Kingston cowers, running for his life! And it's DEVASTATION! The Vicious Phenom sucker punches Cartwright, then turns and nearly BEHEADS Casino with clothesline. He snarls, turns, and rushes... RUSHES THE RING! THE CRIMES! Rex Caliber and Static come out of the back. Caliber shouts encouragement at Static, and the Hardcore Luchadore flies to the ring, colliding with Devastation! The Nexus One stands back and smiles... MINSTREL! THE MINSTREL out of the crowd! He BLINDSIDES Caliber, dropping him right by the entrance, laughing insanely! Caliber regains his footing... and RAVAGER! The NAPW Champion steps out of the back, takes both men by the head and CRACKS their skulls together! JACK JONES: THE LOCKER ROOM IS CLEARING! The Rat Pack and D-X are fighting now at ringside! A sneak preview of the Sole Survivor Main Event is playing out at the ring entrance! The ring is PACKED, rope to rope, turnbuckle to turnbuckle, fists fly, bodies are hurled, and kicks are traded! It's PANDEMONIUM! It's CHAOS... "RIIIIIIGHT BEFORE MY EYES!" BILL HEWSON: IT'S D! D! IS IN THE HOUSE! D! flies by Ravager, Minstrel and Rex Caliber! He makes a bee-line for the ring, and closelines Travelli and Cameron Scott over the top rope! He turns and ejects Thunder, then Axe, then Lloyd Rees! More clotheslines send Static, Tour Ed and Stein to the floor! Bayman Jakey! The Predator! Bobby O'Brady! Delivery Man #2! Billy Kryenik! Elimination after elimination! Until there's only D! ONLY D! STANDING TALL IN THE RING! THE CROWD IS DEAFENING! THEY CHANT "D! IS NUMBER ONE! D! IS NUMBER ONE!" D! points at the ring entrance, where Ravager, Minstrel and Rex Caliber are still fighting and shouts "I'm coming for you! It doesn't matter who has the title! I'm coming!" BILL HEWSON: Is this a spoiler for Sole Survivor!? Are we seeing the future!? Will D! be able to eliminate twenty nine other superstars, and win a shot at the NAPW Title!? JACK JONES: His chances are slim! He's the number one entrant! But he just did it! RIGHT HERE, HE JUST DID IT! BILL HEWSON: WE'RE OUT OF TIME! MY GOD THE CARNAGE!
D! plays to the crowd and glares at the entrance, where Ravager nails a Dragon Suplex on Rex Caliber, only to be LOWBLOWED by Minstrel! Who will win the title shot!? Who will win the TITLE!? IT'S GOING TO BE A HELL OF A SUPERCARD! AND WE... go off the air...
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