MONDAY. NIGHT. FIGHT.04/03/2006
Unbidden, the restless crowd starts cheering. It has been too long, hasn't it? The cheering continues to build, further and further, and soon... Soon it's not the only noise. Bass. The clap of drums. A hard-driving guitar. Boy Charlie. And when the credits rush on the giant screen, NAPW IS BACK, BABY! I BUILT UP / THIS WALL OF MINE "CUT THE MUSIC!" And without much warning, the lights in the NAIT Arena are snapped back on, the credit sequence on the giant video monitor now replaced with two men--The Vicious Phenom, Devastation, and another now-familiar face, Pit Boss. Both men are dressed to the nines in sharp Armani, and have taken a position backstage. As usual, they are surrunded by twin towers of bulk, Bunker and Stump. The crowd boos them upon sight. This is not their idea of a good time. Devastation gives the crowd a little bit of time, but then presses ahead, with a concerned look on his face. DEVASTATION: Please... we are NOT your enemy. More boos. We are NOT to blame. We can understand that you're all upset. Everyone was buzzing pretty hard about the new NAPW Champion from Sole Survivor--the "Nexus One", Rex Caliber. Cheers. A new Champion. A new era. Two weeks after the last supercard and you've been waiting all of this time to see him, live and in person, defend the NAPW Title like a TRUE champion. But what happened instead... what happened INSTEAD was... PIT BOSS: Someone beat his BRAINS in. BOOOOOOO! DEVASTATION: Oh, yes... BE upset. It's an upsetting piece of business. After all, to think that someone that you love, someone that you CARE about, for them to be hurt AS BADLY as Rex has... and rest assured, he's been hurt BAD... well, I think all of you are mighty pissed off by this turn of events. Just like WE are. BOOOOOOOOOO!!! PIT BOSS: But you know what? We DO know! Because some CAVEMEN with more aggression than brains did it to a friend of OURS, a man who's like a BROTHER to us--Longshot! Voracious cheers. PIT BOSS: It was DISGUSTING! Three people against one! Not even a fair fight! DEVASTATION: And all we know was that it was two men, one in a mask, and a woman. So it didn't take us long to whittle the suspect list down to three people. Three people who NEED to take out powerful wrestlers. The talentless, poseur hack Ravager, his junkie ho Tiffany, and Rex Caliber's very own "so-called" best friend, Static. BOOOOOOO! You don't have to agree now, but in time, everyone's going to come around and realise that ONLY these three could possibly profit from Longshot and Rex being out of action. Your hearts want to defend your heroes, but your goddamn BRAINS know it's true. PIT BOSS: Selflessly, we've put over one million dollars of our OWN MONEY so that someone would do the right thing and take these guys out! For the good of the NAPW! For the good of society! DEVASTATION: But since that didn't happen, well... it's up for Pit and I to step and do what's right, to take these hoodlums out OURSELVES, with our OWN bodies on the line! PIT BOSS: And we'll even take that same bounty money we promised and give it back... to the COMMUNITY! Because it's what 'Shot and Rex would WANT us to do with it. DEVASTATION: Justice will be done... this is the promise of The Charitable Trust. We WILL do what's right for the NAPW... Both men share a knowing look here. PIT BOSS: Because that's just WHO we ARE. And the video feed cuts out, just as the crowd's practically hoarse from screaming at them. BILL HEWSON: Well, it's not a typical way to start Monday Night Fight, but it hasn't been a typical last two weeks, either! I'm Bill Hewson! JACK JONES: And I'm Jack "Attack" Jones! And we don't have TIME to talk, Hewson... NOW GET YOUR TICKETS READY! FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is scheduled for one fall! Coming to the ring first, weighing in at 180 lbs and hailing from parts unknown...Stein!!! "Science" by System of a Down starts to play as the mysterious duo of Stein and Dr. Morgoth make their way to the ring. FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent, weighing in tonight at 210 lbs and hailing from right here in Alberta, he is the former NAPW Heavyweight Champion....D! "Right Before My Eyes" by The Snitches replaces System of a Down and the fans go nuts over D! as he emerges from the back! BILL HEWSON: This is a match that D! has been waiting for ever since the altercation between the two of them at the Sole Survivor event! JACK JONES: You mean when Stein put the hurt on D!? If you ask me, D! has written a check his butt can't cash tonight! The referee ushers Dr. Morgoth out of the ring and calls for the bell! The two men slowly circle each other and Stein closes the distance to tie up with D!. D! lashes out with a stiff right hand! Another! A third right hand to the side of Steins head! Stein simply looks at D! and drives a knee into the gut of D!. Stein grabs D! by the arm and whips him into the ropes and attempts a gorilla press, only to have D! escape the move by dropping down behind Stein! Stein turns around and catches a round house punch from D! that has no effect on the mysterious Stein! Stein nails a throat chop to D! that stuns the former NAPW Champ! Stein wraps a hand around the throat of D! in an attempt to hit a choke toss. D! plants a kick into the ribs of Stein but he keeps his grip on D!. D! follows up with two more hard kicks to the mid section and it finally causes Stein to release the grip he has around the throat! D! nails his Rockettes Kick Of Doom! Stein staggers back but looks unfazed by the strikes as he attacks D! JACK JONES: This Stein guy is a freak! And I dig that! BILL HEWSON: D! is trying anything and everything to take down the mysterious Stein, but so far it's been a one sided affair! Stein lunges in with his hand outstretched going for his finisher the "Vitiator" on D!. D! puts up a hand to block the move, but Steins hand continues to close the distance to D!'s face! D! then uses both hands to try and force Stein back and we're in an odd tug of war situation. As the crowd starts to chant D!'s he slowly pushes back the hand of Stein, but he just as quickly loses ground as Stein surges foreword and almost locks in his claw like hold! Once more D! braces himself and with sweat dripping from his forehead he manages to finally shove Stein's hand away! D! jabs a thumb into the eye of Stein and Irish whips him into the ropes! D! hits a clothesline but Stein is still standing! With Dr. Morgoth yelling from the outside, Stein grabs D! and throws him back first into the near turnbuckle! Stein lays in with brutal right hands to the ribs of D! doubling him over. D!'s head is snapped back from a hard knee to the face from Stein who appears in total control! Stein whips D! across the ring and he hits the far turnbuckles sternum first and collapses to the mat! Stein goes for a cover as the referee gets into position, 1...2...D! gets a shoulder up! BILL HEWSON: D! kicked out! D! has to be the toughest man in this industry! JACK JONES: Or the most stubborn! Stein pulls D! off the mat and military presses him above his head only to drop him down ribs first across his knee! AS D! writhes in pain on the mat Stein again goes for the cover! 1...2...D! again just barely escapes a pinfall. Without any emotion on his face Stein starts to choke D! right in front of the referee! Stein breaks at the count of "four" but the damage has been done. Stein pulls D! back to his feet and almost takes his head off with a short arm clothesline. Stein drops to the mat and again goes for a cover, 1...2...D! rolls his left shoulder and breaks the count! Dr. Morgoth is yelling at the referee, but Stein pays him no mind as he grabs a hand full of D!'s hair and roughly pulls him to his feet. D! knocks away Stein's hand and hits his Beat-O-Barrage from out of nowhere! The crowd goes nuts at D! lays into Stein but the enigmatic man in the body suit simply shoves him away! D! won't be denied as he again hits a second Beat-O-Barrage onto Stein! Again Stein shoves him away but this time with less force. Stein lunges out towards D! with an outstretched hand but D! ducks under it, spins Stein around and for the unheard of third time hits Stein with his Beat-O-Barrage! As D!'s last strike catches Stein in the head both men tumble to the mat! D! lands on top of Stein and has an arm draped over Stein as the referee counts, 1...2...3!! BILL HEWSON: He did it! It took not one, not two but an amazing three Beat-O-Barrages to bring down Stein for the win! JACK JONES: Are you drunk? That was a fluke! That wasn't even a real cover! What a crock of sh... FRANK WARBURTON: And your winner by pinfall, D! The crowd explodes as an exhausted D! pulls himself to his feet and looks down at the unmoving Stein. D! starts hitting the turnbuckles to the delight of his fans as Stein continues to lay prone on the mat. D! drops from the turnbuckle and heads to the only turnbuckle he hasn't celebrated from when Stein quickly gets to his feet and shocks both the fans and D! by clamping his "Vitiator" the face of the winner! The referee calls for the bell but it does no good as Stein watches D! SCREAM, struggling to break free of the dreaded finisher. Dr. Morgoth rolls into the ring and pats Stein on the back as D! becomes nothing more than a lifeless rag doll. Trainers and NAPW officials rush the ring and Stein finally releases the hold on D! and he collapse in a heap to the mat. Despite his loss, Stein looks at peace with himself as trainers hover over D! and try to bring him around. BILL HEWSON: D! won this match but looking at him now he certainly paid for it. I have a feeling that D! hasn't seen the last of Stein!
NIGHTMARE: What do you see in your dreams, Rees? Do you see yourself surrounded by your flunkies, your well-wishers, your ill-gained Provincial Title? Is this what keeps you cosy at night? Let me tell you what I see, Rees-- Wait a minute--POW! Nightmare's just been smoked FROM BEHIND! The big man does down... and we see his assailant, clad head-to-toe with a fisherman's hat, raincoat and galoshes! And he's laying the boots to the Provincal contender! Nighmare rises up to his feet, and starts giving it BACK to the mystery opponent--AND NOW THERE'S ANOTHER ONE! Jumping Nightmare from behind, smashing a construction brick into the back of Nightmare's head! Nightmare CRUMPLES! He's been SEVERELY injured by these two men in raincoats and fishermen's hats... they check up on each other, mumbling, and run off, leaving Nighmare crumpled on the ground. BILL HEWSON: That's not RIGHT! Those two Newfies just LAID Nightmare out! JACK JONES: Oh, just because they're dressed that way they're NEWFIE? That's PREJUDICED! BILL HEWSON: It's not even the issue! One of our Superstars has just been ATTACKED! JACK JONES: Yeah, well, big deal. What ELSE is new this week? Me, I got attacked myself THREE times yesterday. It ain't NOTHING. BILL HEWSON: I wish you would go away. "Song 2" by Blur hits the PA and the fans pop respectfully for the diminutive underdog, Diamond. He slaps hands with the ringside fans and even gives his shades to a youngster near the timekeeper's table, ala Hitman Bret Hart. He bounces around in the ring when "Celestial" by Isis hits the airwaves and the fans pop big time for "Sick" Billy Kryenik, accompanied by Colonel Giggles in his animal taxi. The girls in attendance squeal and moan with desire as Billy slides into the ring and gives a high five to his partner. FRANK WARBURTON: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently in the ring, at a combined weight of 394lbs.... Diiiiiiiiiiiiamond and "Sick" Billyyyyyyyyyy Kryyyyyyyyyyyyyyennnniikkkkkkkkk!!! "Man In The Box" by Alice in Chains blasts through the speakers as the deranged Tommy Deathrow makes his appearance from behind the curtain. Tommy and Billy are busy staring bloody murder holes into one another as Diamond stuffs a carrot into Col. Giggles' taxi. Tommy ignores the fans and begins taunting Billy from the outside while the Sick One holds open the ropes, inviting his former partner into a world of hurt. Tommy doesn't bite and taps the side of his head before grinning and pointing to the entrance ramp. "The Wretched" by Nine Inch Nails screams into our ears as Ringmaster Iago emerges from behind the curtain with a flourish. He beams at the booing crowd before beckoning forth his charge with a wave of his cane. The behemoth known as Caliban emerges to gasps and awe from the crowd, as he appears like something right out of a Joseph Conrad novel. FRANK WARBURTON: Approaching the ring, accompanied by Ringmaster Iago, at a combined weight of 604lbs! Caaaaaaaaaalibaaaann and Tommyyyyyyyyyyy Deathrowwwwwwwww!!! JACK JONES: Look at the size of that beast, he could use Diamond for a toothpick after having consumed a larger opponent. BILL HEWSON: Indeed, Ringmaster Iago has really found himself a stud in Caliban. This pairing with the nefarious and talented Tommy Deathrow is a very scary thing indeed. JACK JONES: Tag teams beware if these two decide to become a permanent unit. Iago directs Caliban to his corner while discussing strategy with Tommy D. Diamond is eager to start things up, but Sick Billy wants to rip into Tommy first and foremost. Tommy takes note of this and smiles like a jack-o-lantern before setting out and allowing Caliban first crack. Billy screams out "P*SSY!" before sizing up the 6'10" 350lb. leviathan. Referee Morgan Smythe sounds the bell and we are underway. Billy flies at his man like a possessed demon and unleashes with rights and lefts that do little to stagger the mammoth. Caliban pie faces the not-so-diminutive Billy to the mat and follows it up with a clothesline that nearly takes his head off. Caliban presses Billy over his head with the strength of perhaps ten gorillas before dropping him face first. Billy bellows in pain as Tommy and Iago clap enthusiastically. Caliban goes for a lateral press cover, but Billy kicks out at 2. Caliban is back on the assault with knife edge chops and palm slaps to the chest that leave Billy screaming at the top of his lungs. Caliban hurls Billy across the way with a huge beale as Tommy screams for the tag. Caliban obliges, after getting the nod from Iago, and Tommy Deathrow enters the fray like a vulture ready to pick Billy's bones. He stomps away viciously at his former partner in the corner before setting him up on the top turnbuckle and slapping him in the face for good measure. Tommy climbs to the top and attempts the superplex, but Billy holds on and manages to shove Tommy to the mat. Billy steadies himself and flies off the top a cross body. Tommy dodges at just the last moment and Billy eats canvas. Tommy sets his man up and slams him back down hard with a Dominator. Tommy covers, but Billy kicks out at 2. Deathrow slaps on a dragon sleeper and attempts to cause Kryenik to pass out. Diamond is jumping up and down, screaming encouragement, but Billy is non-responsive. Then, as if he were playing possum, Billy turns 180, gains the leverage, and then takes Tommy over with a Northern Lights Suplex. Billy is close enough to tag in his partner, and Diamond immediately climbs to the top. Tommy turns just in time to catch a cross body splash. Diamond flies into the ropes and nails Deathrow with a momentum-fueled Shining Wizard. Diamond covers, but Tommy manages the kick out at 2. Diamond mounts his man and unleashes with mounted punches before jumping back up and playing to the crowd. JACK JONES: Hey, midget, I wouldn't get distracted if I were in there against Tommy Deathrow like you. BILL HEWSON: Despite his size, Diamond proved he can hold his own against bigger bullies; just look what happened to Axe. JACK JONES: Well he sucked. Tommy Deathrow is a prime time contender in my opinion, and he's not going to let some half pint take him down. Diamond sets Tommy up for a big time neckbreaker, but gets shoved into the ropes where Caliban stealthily and strategically places his massive knee. Diamond grabs his back in pain as Tommy explodes with a hard lariat that folds the smaller man up like an accordion. Tommy grabs Diamond and executes a picture perfect Falcon Arrow, sitting into the cover, but Diamond kicks out at 2. Tommy applies the Camel Clutch and Diamond begins to fade fast. Billy, now recovered, is helping the fans cheer on the underdog as Tommy grimaces with the hold, adding to the pressure. Diamond fights valiantly and manages to drag himself close to Billy, but Tommy jumps straight up and slams all of his weight down on Diamond's back. Tommy sets him up for a powerbomb in the center of the ring, but Diamond reverses it into a beautiful hurricanrana that puts the fans on their feet. Diamond is slow to move and drags himself to Billy while Tommy shakes off the cobwebs and tags in Caliban. The big man zooms in on Diamond and grabs his ankle. Diamond looks caught and Caliban smiles, just as Diamond unleashes with his free leg and cracks Caliban in the head with an enziguri. Diamond makes the hot tag to Kryenik, and the NAIT explodes. BILL HEWSON: Here comes the flaming house! JACK JONES: What the hell kind of analogy is that? What's next, we gonna have us a barn burner? Pathetic, Bill. Billy strikes hard at Caliban and does his best to outrun and wear down the big man. Caliban looks just a bit weary as Billy whips the big man into the corner and hits the Kiss of Babylon. Caliban is dazed but won't go down. Billy nails him with his textbook right hook and whips him into the opposite corner, hitting Hot Salvation out of nowhere. Caliban does indeed go down this time and the crowd has become unglued. Iago is screaming bloody murder at the sight of this while Tommy seethes. Billy covers, but Caliban powers out at 2. Billy attempts to lock in his Branch Breaker STF, but Caliban will have none of it. The big man slams his fist into Billy's face, sending him reeling, then grabs him quickly and nails him with the Argentine Facebuster. JACK JONES: Dreadlock Drop, baby! BILL HEWSON: Billy looks to be in a world of hurt now. Caliban covers, but Billy manages a kickout at 2. Caliban tags in Deathrow, who spears his man upon entry. Both men are now wildly trading blows until Tommy gives Billy a thumb to the eye. Tommy sets Billy up for the Deathrow Driver, but Billy back drops his former partner over him. Billy stalks Tommy before locking him up and executing the Dry Lake out of nowhere. HOLY SH*T! Billy covers, but Caliban runs in to make the save. Diamond is now in, but Smythe cuts him off and demands he go back into his corner, just as Caliban did. While her back is turned, Billy gets a nice spinal tap from the cane of Ringmaster Iago, providing enough of a distraction for Tommy to tag in Caliban just as the ref takes notice. Billy is oblivious to this and runs out after Iago. He chases the Ringmaster around before Tommy grabs the animal taxi with Colonel Giggles and gets Billy's attention. BILL HEWSON: Leave the rabbit alone, Deathrow! JACK JONES: Bob Barker will pay big for that bunny I'd wager. Maybe Tommy wants to collect on that. Tommy demands that Billy tag in Diamond, and Billy, fearing the worst, does as told. Billy demands that Tommy return Col. Giggles, and he does just that, by throwing the taxi into Billy's face. Tommy charges Billy on the outside and the two of them go at it while Diamond is trying to evade Caliban in the ring. Caliban charges into the corner, looking to squash Diamond, but the smaller man moves away in time and Caliban slams his head into the turnbuckle. Diamond follows this with a perfectly executed Diamond Cutter that actually drops the big man. The ref is busy watching Billy and Tommy brawl, which is now making its way to the stands, and doesn't notice Ringmaster Iago jump atop the opposite side ring apron. Diamond catches sight of him and grabs him by the collar. Iago looks terrified before suddenly smiling and motioning with his eyes. Diamond is engulfed by a shadow and just realizes his mistake too late. Caliban has him in his grasp and absolutely destroys him with the Heart of Darkness. Caliban covers and Smythe, upon hearing the impact of the move, turns to make the 3 count. FRANK WARBURTON: HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS, DEATHROW AND CALIBAN!!! The bell sounds, but Deathrow and Kryenik are still brawling at ringside. Billy charges and Tommy ducks, causing the Sick One to slam into the ring post. Tommy takes full advantage by dropping Billy with a piledriver (Deathrow style) to the concrete outside of the ring. Tommy raises his arms in victory and avoids the ring where Caliban is busy pacing around like a dog performing territorial pissings. Ringmaster Iago enters and fawns over his charge before raising his arm in victory as "The Wretched" blasts over the fallen bodies of Diamond and Sick Billy Kryenik. Inside his animal taxi, Col. Giggles is shaking like a leaf, but unharmed.
BILL HEWSON: I wonder why the Coach is so well dressed tonight. COACH JAGO: Now, some of you are probably wondering what the Coach is doing out here tonight, dressed up in a nice suit. Thing is, I’m not too sure. My protégé, Stylin’ Kyle Roberts, told me to be out here tonight and to “dress nice.” BILL HEWSON: Uh oh. Last time a manager was told to be out in the ring by his client, he got the ever loving crap kicked out of him! JACK JONES: Yeah, we haven’t seen hide nor hair of the Mayor for months! COACH JAGO: Well? Roberts? Richards? Here I am! And that’s when the theme to “This is Your Life” kicks up. Coach Jago looks caught off guard as Stylin’ Kyle Roberts and Bruce “the Beast” Richards, both dressed in tuxedos, make their way down to the ring, all smiles. Behind them, Ryan Kingston, dressed in his usual suit and carrying a briefcase, waves off booing fans, and threatens a law suit or two. Kyle and Bruce climb into the ring, and retrieve microphones. KYLE ROBERTS: That’s right Coach Jago! This is Your Life! COACH JAGO: Whoa! Hold on there, Kyle. What’s this all about? KYLE ROBERTS: Exactly what it looks like! We don’t want you to turn your back on us for… the Dudes. The crowd cheers, and Kyle, Ryan and Bruce shout them down. Bruce goes on. BRUCE RICHARDS: See, Kyle and I have decided that perhaps we haven’t shown our appreciation to you in a long while. That might be why you’re considering a set of new clients. KYLE ROBERTS: And tonight, it’s YOUR SPECIAL NIGHT, Coach! We aren’t the only people who wanted to support and celebrate you, either. A whole slew of your old friends wanted to be here tonight! Now, granted, we couldn’t just let anyone be here, so I PERSONALLY screened your friends, and chose only the best to be here for you! COACH JAGO: Uh… look, Kyle, this all seems – KYLE ROBERTS: No need to thank me Coach! It’s all for you! Courtesy of the SMARTEST tag team in history! Kyle taps his head and grins at the crowd. BRUCE RICHARDS: Hey Coach! Does this voice ring a bell? MYSTERY VOICE: Hey! Get your hot dogs here! Coach Jago looks confused and shrugs. BRUCE RICHARDS: It’s Jim! The man who runs the Fat Frank’s hot dog cart outside our gym! Jim! Come on down! The “This is Your Life” music kicks back up, and a fat man comes out of the back pushing a hot dog cart. He pushes it down to the ring, where Bruce and Kyle help him into the ring. He goes over and shakes the Coach’s hand. BRUCE RICHARDS: We know how much you love Fat Frank’s hot dogs, Coach. Every day, at lunch, you’d head out to the cart and buy one, sometimes two hot dogs, while Kyle and I went to the restaurant down the street… KYLE ROBERTS: But only because you insisted we get the healthiest fare! I mean, we CARE about our fitness… unlike the Dudes! Have you SEEN what they eat? I bet you that lardass slob Cameron Scott can’t even jog down the RAMP without getting winded! Kyle howls with laughter. COACH JAGO: Yeah, well, what with my cholesterol getting so high… I haven’t even HAD a Fat Frank’s hot dog in months! You guys know I’m on a diet. There’s a beat, as Bruce and Kyle exchange a glance, then Kyle starts yelling at the hot dog vendor. KYLE ROBERTS: You heard the man! Get to steppin’! He’s got a HEART condition for Pete’s sake! Are you trying to kill him!? Jim, the hot dog vendor, shrugs and leaves as the crowd BOOS Kyle Roberts. He begins wheeling his hot dog cart away. COACH JAGO: Look, guys, this is nice, really, but – KYLE ROBERTS: Don’t sweat it Coach, the next guest will cheer you up! Remember this voice? MYSTERY VOICE: Like, hey Coach! Isn’t Kyle DREAMY? Coach again looks lost, and shrugs again. KYLE ROBERTS: Why it’s Jade Thompson! My old high school sweetheart! The “This is Your Life” music hits again, and a bombshell of a woman comes out of the back to the hooting of the male audience members. Kyle and Bruce help her into the ring. Kyle, grinning like a Cheshire cat, gives her a hug, but can’t seem to look away from her cleavage. The Coach shakes his head. KYLE ROBERTS: Oh, Jade Thompson. Look how she’s grown up! Remember all those times you caught us out behind the gym at school… “studying”? Kyle laughs and Jade giggles, clinging to him. Bruce looks a little uncomfortable and mutters something about Amy. KYLE ROBERTS: I mean, could the Dudes get a woman THIS blazing hot? The closest they came was Tiffany MacIntyre… and SHE left them for the BLANDEST man in professional wrestling! Kyle laughs at his own joke. COACH JAGO: Well, truth-be-told Kyle, I never really approved of that relationship. I always thought you were BETTER than her. Kyle shrugs off Jade Thompson angrily and starts yelling at her. KYLE ROBERTS: It’s no wonder I dumped you, you jezebel! You heard the Coach! Get to steppin’! The crowd boos some more as Jade sadly exits the ring and heads to the back. COACH JAGO: Alright. Seriously, this – KYLE ROBERTS: Now, Coach, I know that you think this is great, but we haven’t even STARTED to prove how great we are yet! How about this voice? “I’M A DUDE! HE’S A DUDE! SHE’S A DUDE! WE’RE ALL DUDES!” The crowd goes bananas as Less Than Jake’s “We’re all Dudes” hits the sound system! Cameron Scott and Michael K. Johnston, both wearing tuxedo t-shirts, hit the ramp and encourage the crowd! BILL HEWSON: The Dudes are the third guest!? JACK JONES: They're crashing the Coach's party! Talk about CLASSLESS! KYLE ROBERTS: Whoa whoa WHOA! Stop the music! I'm pretty sure this is a celebration for the Coach! From the team he's managed for three years! And the wrestler he's manager for five! What the hell do you deadbeats think you're doing, interrupting the Coach's special night? MIKE JOHNSTON: I don't know, Kyle, seems to us like you've been doing PLENTY of interrupting here tonight. COACH JAGO: Now, guys, I don't think this should be- KYLE ROBERTS: Hold on, Coach, I'll take care of this. Not on YOUR NIGHT! CAMERON SCOTT: Hey Kyle... why don't you just shut the hell up, and let the Coach finish that last statement? KYLE ROBERTS: Hey, Cam! How about YOU shut the hell up and GET TO STEPPIN! CAMERON SCOTT: Well, since you asked so nicely! Cameron, grinning, starts slowly marching to the ring, with Mike right behind him. The crowd starts cheering, expecting a fight. Cameron reaches ringside, and he and Kyle glare at each other! Ryan Kingston steps between them and starts waving the Dudes back. Bruce shouts at the Dudes to get lost, and the Coach… he just shakes his head and rubs his eyes. KYLE ROBERTS: I tell you, Scott. One step between these ropes, and I'll have Mr. Kingston sue your ass for the dollar fifty you can afford! MIKE JOHNSTON: Whoa there! Fellow Dudes, Coaches and asshats present. Let's not get carried away. This is, after all, the COACH'S night. Right? BRUCE RICHARDS: That's right! So let US celebrate the Coach! KYLE ROBERTS: This is a private party, Johnston! MIKE JOHNSTON: I didn't see any private party signs. Besides, if it's a celebration of the Coach... shouldn't his BIGGEST FANS be allowed to be present? CAMERON SCOTT: That’s right! No one's followed the Coach's career like we have! Why do you think we wanted him to MANAGE us so badly? Because we've built our wrestling CAREERS out of his example! KYLE ROBERTS: If you call yourselves fans of Coach Jago, you should be behind the guardrails, with every other deadbeat unworthy of being within ten feet of OUR manager! And the crowd BOOS again. Kyle yells at them to shut up. MIKE JOHNSTON: We're not within ten feet of their lawyer, are we Cam? BRUCE RICHARDS: Well, then, it's a good thing Ryan Kingston's our legal counsel, then, isn't it? CAMERON SCOTT: And just why, pray tell, do you two need your... ahem... "legal council" on the Coach's special night? BRUCE RICHARDS: To draw up the extension to Coach Jago's contract. COACH JAGO: Now, boys, I haven't said I'm coming back to- KYLE ROBERTS: I said I'll handle this, Coach! Kyle snatches Coach’s microphone away! Bruce CRINGES and Ryan groans, and begins rubbing his forehead to work away the migraine. Coach GLARES at Kyle, who turns back to yell at the Dudes, oblivious. MIKE JOHNSTON: Now THAT's the way to patch up a relationship! CAMERON SCOTT: Why don't you just shove his whistle back in his mouth... that's how you kept him quiet for four months of NAPW television. The crowd “Oooohs!” that one. KYLE ROBERTS: Look, you little bitches! There's NO WAY that I'd just hand off the man to you two losers! MIKE JOHNSTON: Well it's a SHAME that it isn't your decision, Little Red! So maybe if you'd just shut your mouth for five second, we could hear just what the COACH wants to do! CAMERON SCOTT: Let's hear the Coach! Let's hear the Coach! The crowd gets right behind Cam, and chants along! Let's hear the Coach! Let's hear the Coach! Let's hear the Coach! BILL HEWSON: Let's hear the Coach! JACK JONES: Quiet you! In the ring, Kyle Roberts LOSES IT! He storms around the ring and starts shouting at the fans to shut up! When that fails, he rips a turnbuckle cover free and hucks it into the tenth row! The crowd doesn’t stop! Let’s hear the Coach! Let’s hear the Coach! Kyle grabs Ryan Kingston’s briefcase and throws it at Mike Johnston, who laughs and ducks aside. Mike and Cam begin moving around the ring, leading the crowd in the chant!
LET'S HEAR THE COACH! Coach Jago looks… touched maybe? Kyle, on the other hand, gets tangled up in his jacket as he tries to rip it off in a rage! Bruce and Ryan try and calm him down, but Kyle pushes them both aside!
LET'S HEAR THE COACH! Kyle is SPITTING MAD now! He finally throws down the tuxedo jacket, and turns to the crowd, mic in hand! KYLE ROBERTS: Look, you fatassed donkey humpers! COACH JAGO WILL SPEAK WHEN I SAY SO! THE CROWD BOOS! Kyle stops, eyes wide, and turns, slack jawed, to where Coach Jago is GLARING at him! KYLE ROBERTS: Coach Jago. Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. The Coach has had enough! He pushes past Kyle and heads for the edge of the ring. KYLE ROBERTS: NO! COACH! I APOLOGIZE! Coach Jago pulls off his tie, and climbs through the ropes. JACK JONES: He apologized damn it! Don't walk out on the winningest team in the NAPW! Not for... the DUDES! BILL HEWSON: I don't think Coach Jago's happy with ANYONE at this moment, Jack Attack. Indeed, at ringside, Mike and Cameron move to help Coach Jago leave the ring. He shouts at them to back off and heads down the steps. The Dudes look on a little sheepishly. Bruce Richards, always the voice of reason, tries to save the day! BRUCE RICHARDS: Coach! You know how Kyle gets! He's doing it the wrong way, but he's speaking from the heart! Coach Jago hesitates at the edge of the ramp. KYLE ROBERTS: Coach! I’m sorry! COME BACK! Coach Jago sighs and glances back. The crowd starts chanting “Walk out Coach! Walk out Coach!” KYLE ROBERTS: I'M SORRY! Come back! Because if you leave… leave for the DUDES... The crowd is trying to shout over him! Kyle wheels on them, eyes blazing! KYLE ROBERTS: SHUT UP BEFORE I GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO SHUT UP ABOUT! Coach Jago shakes his head and storms up the ramp. The crowd starts THROWING stuff at Kyle! He’s hit with a hail of popcorn and pop containers! Stylin’ Kyle Roberts snarls and begins throwing the garbage right back, then shouts down at the Dudes. KYLE ROBERTS: This is all YOUR fault you sons of bitches! BRUCE RICHARDS: Coach! Kyle's just angry! KYLE ROBERTS: FINE! YOU FRATBOY BITCHES WANT COACH? YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO MEET US IN THE RING FOR HIS CONTRACT! BILL HEWSON: WHAT!? JACK JONES: WHAT!? CAMERON SCOTT: WHAT!? Coach Jago, at the top of the ramp, stops long enough to GLARE down at the mess in the ring, then shakes his head and leaves. KYLE ROBERTS: That's right, you smug bastards! Next Monday! You and us! Cameron Scott and Mike Johnston look shocked! Bruce “the Beast” is incredulous! Ryan Kingston throws up his hands! KYLE ROBERTS: THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR TAKING MY COACH AWAY FROM ME! Kyle LAUNCHES himself through the second rope! He doesn’t quite reach Mike Johnston when Bruce and Ryan catch and PHYSICALLY RESTRAIN him! Mike and Cam begin backing towards the ring entrance. MIKE JOHNSTON: Fine! You want to turn this into a freak show? We'll play your game. KYLE ROBERTS: DON'T BE ACTING ALL INNOCENT, YOU JACKOFF BASTARDS! The Dudes shake their heads and walk out on the sickening display. The crowd continues throwing a hail of garbage at The New & Improved D-X as Kyle shouts “Let me at ‘em! Let me at ‘em!” JACK JONES: Can Kyle Roberts do that? Challenge the Dudes for custody of Coach Jago? BILL HEWSON: I don't think ANYONE's happy with that decision! Not Bruce"The Beast" Richards! Not Ryan Kingston! ESPECIALLY not the Coach! We cut to commercial with a shot of Kyle, grimacing, red faced, and shouting after the Dudes.
BILL HEWSON: What the Hell is he doing in the ring? Hasn't he and his cohorts done enough already this evening? JACK JONES: What did they do? It was those fishermen! The nFa was nowhere in sight when Nightmare was attacked. BILL HEWSON: Oh please... We go to the ring, as Ol' Salty prepares to introduce the combatants for this epic match. OL' SALTY: Ladies and gents, dis match is for the Republic of Newfoundland title. Boos from the crowd. OL' SALTY: Belt up, the lot of ya! I've got the mic b'y! First, we have the champion. Proudly hailing from Bell Island, Newfoundland... show respect b'y! He bravely defends the honor of the greatest republic on the face of God's green earth, he weighs a trim 247 pounds. Accompanied to the ring by Bayman Jakey, he is "The Lemondrop Kid" Lloyd Rees! Salty applauds madly as the fans boo. "Fighting 59" Plays over the speakers as Rees makes his way to the ring. He holds the title high with one hand, and a mickey with the other. Bayman Jakey shouts insults at the fans as they make their way to the ring, taking their sweet time, acting like they're part of some regal procession. BILL HEWSON: These guys do realize there are other matches on the show tonight? Rees enters the ring and embraces Ol' Salty. OL' SALTY: And the challenger. ... Who may be feeling a bit under the weather, you catch me drift b'y (chuckles) Dramatic Pause OL' SALTY: (without any enthusiasm) From Edmonton, Alberta, Nightmare. The lack of enthusiasm from Salty is made up for by the response from the fans. They pop huge as "Someday" plays over the speakers. There is a pause though. Is Nightmare able to participate?... Yes. He emerges from the curtains. His head bandaged, his eyes glazed, but still focused on his opponents. He seems a bit off balance at first. But only at first. He charges the ring. Jakey and Salty head for safer ground, as referee Henry Andrews has lost control before the bell has even rung. Nightmare is tossing punches at Rees, who is trying to climb out of the ring. The bell ring as Nightmare drags Rees over the top rope, then slams him to the ground. Rees clutches his back as Nightmare doesn't even bother with any technical wrestling, and just lays boots into Rees' gut. JACK JONES: Come on Andrews! For once in your life exert some authority! Oh good, Ol' Salty is on the ring apron to offer advice. Salty distracts Andrews (which really isn't all that hard). While the ref's back is turned, Rees lands a punch below the belt, and Nightmare's momentum is stopped. Andrews turns to see Nightmare hunched over, and Rees with an ever so innocent look on his face. Rees nails Nightmare with a European uppercut, then another, rocking Nightmare's head back, rattling him even more. Rees then tries to apply a suplex, but Nightmare is just too heavy. So instead he plants him with a DDT. BILL HEWSON: Nightmare just landed right on his head! Andrews needs to make sure Nightmare isn't out cold! JACK JONES: From one DDT? BILL HEWSON: One DDT after getting a cinder block in the head earlier! ReEs goes for a cocky pin, but Nightmare kicks out after two. Jakey and Ol' Salty yell about this, but the match continues. Rees goes for a headlock, trying to cut off the blood flow from Nightmare's already rattled brain. The crowd starts to clap, trying to will Nightmare to his feet. JACK JONES: It's over! I mean, how much life can he have left after... oh no... Nightmare apparently has a lot of life left. He pushes up to one knee, then stands up, with Rees clinging for dear life. Nightmare grabs hold of Ree's neck, then snaps him over to the mat. BILL HEWSON: Nightmare showing great resiliency! He may pull this off yet! Nightmare positions Rees for a power bomb, but Ol' Salty once again climbs onto the ring apron. Nightmare lunges at Salty, who wisely drops to the floor. Only Nightmare pursues. Salty, seeing his life flash before his eyes, runs away. Nightmare gives chase, following Salty as he races around the ring. JACK JONES: Come on! Ol' Salty does not deserve this! BILL HEWSON: I don't know about that, wait a minute! Salty turns the corner of the ring, pursued by Nightmare. But Bayman Jakey had been laying in wait, and he nails Nightmare with a clothesline. Andrews misses this entirely. Apparently Rees is having issues with the ring ropes, which he is pointing out to Andrews in great detail. Andrews tries tom point out that this is not his area of expertise. Rees demands that the ropes be tighter. Jakey nails Nightmare in the head with the RoN title, then rams him into the ring post. He and Salty start to lay the boots to Nightmare, focusing on his head. BILL HEWSON: Nightmare is being mugged! JACK JONES: Entirely self defense! Just ask any lawyer! Rees, satisfied that Andrews will eventually get the ropes fixed, allows the ref to get back to his job. He starts the ten count on Nightmare, who has been busted open on the floor. The fans are outraged, pelting the ring with garbage as Andrews counts. 1... Rees is sitting in the corner, a huge smirk on his face. 2... Salty and Jakey are already toasting a victory as they pull the mickeys out. 3... A beer bottle narrowly misses hitting Andrews in the head. Someone's night of watching wrestling is over. 4... Hey, did Nightmare just move? 5... A look of concern starts to creep across Salty's face. 6... Nightmare is on his knees. The camera gets a close up of his face. he is wearing the "crimson mask". But he has an almost demonic look in his eyes. 7... JACK JONES: Oh oh. BILL HEWSON: Nightmare is pulling himself up with our announce table! 8... Nightmare is on his feet, but unsteady. He turns around to face the ring, and stumbles towards it. 9... Rees, Salty and Jakey are having a collective fit. 10! The bell rings just as Nightmare crawls under the bottom rope. FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen! The winner by count out, and STILL NAPW Provincial Champion, "The Lemondrop Kid" Lloyd Rees! Rees is shouting back that it's the Republic of Newfoundland title, but he is drowned out by the fans. Nightmare is in the corner, seething with rage. Andrews tries to check on his condition, but Nightmare just barrels over him, charging at the nFa. Salty and Rees make it out of the ring, but Jakey is not so lucky. Nightmare tosses Jakey to the ropes and catches him on the way back with a power slam. He pulls Jakey off the mat, and positions him for a power bomb, but Rees and Salty grab Jakey's legs and drag him to safety. Officials and Security are trying to keep Nightmare from doing any more damage, while Rees and Ol' Salty shout insults from the aisle. BILL HEWSON: This is a disgusting display! Will someone please step up and do something about this! JACK JONES: Let's go to commercials to see if our advertisers do JUST THAT!
BILL HEWSON: If you say so. We’re back! “Landmine Spring” by Quicksand is playing, and Pit Boss has made his way to the ring, flanked by his two bodyguards. He sneers at the fans, and then tells Frank Warburton to make his introduction appropriately grandiose. Then Dangerdoom hits and the crowd goes wild! Static, the Hardcore Luchadore, hits the ring running, only to bounce off the wall of flesh that is Pit Boss’ goons. Pit Boss laughs as Bunker and Stump stare down Static. FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL. Introducing first, from Las Vegas, Nevada, and weighing in at TWO HUNDRED and TWENTY three pounds… he is the PIIIIIIT BOSS. And his opponent, from Windsor, Ontario, and weighing in at ONE HUNDRED and SEVENTY FIVE pounds… the Hardcore Luchadore… SSSSSSTATIC! The crowd cheers Static loudly, and he goes to bask in the glory, only to be stopped by Bunker and Stump again, who interpose themselves between him and the turnbuckle. Static is livid, and Pit Boss belly laughs, lounging in the opposite corner. Senior referee John Sharplin frowns and says something to Warburton before he leaves the ring. FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve just been informed that by the order of Senior Referee John Sharplin, Bunker and Stump have been BARRED from ringside; and if they don’t vacate the ring immediately, Pit Boss will forfeit the match! Pit Boss throws a fit, and gets right in Sharplin’s face, but the referee is wise to his tricks and sends the two men packing! Static happily waves them goodbye and the crowd cheers as they angrily head up the ramp. PIT BOSS FROM BEHIND! He grabs Static by the back of the head and SLAMS him face first into the top turnbuckle! BILL HEWSON: Foul! I call foul! JACK JONES: Call foul all you want, Bill Hewson, that’s smart play from a RING GENERAL! Sharplin calls for the bell, and the match OFFICIALLY begins. Static’s already in trouble. Pit Boss hooks him from behind… BACKBREAKER over the knee. Static clutches his back, and rolls out of the ring, trying to put some distance between himself at the Pit Boss… but Pit Boss is right on his heels! Sharplin begins counting them out, and shouts for them to get back in the ring! Pit Boss grabs Static again, and goes to whip him into the ringpost… but NO! Static SPRINGS off the post… and DROPKICKS Pit Boss right in the mouth! Pit Boss reels into the guardrail, and Static climbs back into the ring just as Sharplin counts SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! And Pit Boss slides into the ring to break the count! BILL HEWSON: That was close! Pit Boss almost lost the match by count out! Static springs to the top of a turnbuckle, and beckons for Pit Boss to take his feet… Pit Boss turns! Flying Body Press… NO! Pit Boss CATCHES Static… and SLAMS him to the ring! Static again clutches at his back, and Pit Boss takes the offensive! He goes for a falling elbow…but Static rolls aside! Both men scramble to their feet, Pit Boss goes to grapple… but Static jumps… DROPSAULT! Pit Boss tumbles into the corner! BILL HEWSON: A lot of back and forth action in the opening minutes of the match! JACK JONES: Don’t sell Pit Boss short, Hewson. Static’s out of his league, and he knows it! Static SURGES forward… ANOTHER DROPKICK right in the corner. Pit Boss shakes the cobwebs out of his head as Static dances around the ring, playing to the crowd. Static turns, and the crowd sings along “SUCK MY VOODOO!” Pit Boss snarls and tries to take his feet, Static rushes again… Pit Boss sidesteps, and Static COLLIDES with the corer turnbuckle! The Hardcore Luchadore recoils RIGHT into Pit Boss, who locks up… BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! Static gets planted, and Pit Boss starts STOMPING on him! The crowd boos, but Pit Boss barely casts them a sidelong glance. He HAULS Static to his feet, locks up again… and BRAINBUSTER! Static goes LIMP, and now Pit Boss is in FIRM control. He grabs one of Static’s legs and TWISTS it into an ankle lock! Static weakly reaches for the ropes, still dazed from the brainbuster, but can’t reach! Pit Boss doesn’t keep hold, though, and releases the hold. He sticks a foot in the back of Static’s knee, grabs his foot, and PULLS with all his might, falling backwards! Static cries out in agony, but refuses to tap! JACK JONES: There’s that ring general I was talking about! Pit Boss is taking away Static’s only advantage, and he’s doing it with style! Pit Boss releases that hold after a moment too, clearly not wanting Static to tap just yet. He rises and smirks at the crowd as Static tries to regain his footing using the ropes. Pit Boss gestures that it’s time for the Pay Out! Static staggers to his feet, turns… Pit Boss scoops him up! SPINE… NO! Static hooks the Pit Boss by the head… TORNADO DDT! Pit Boss SPINS on the top of his head, then flops onto his face with a thump! Static kips up… and collapses! His leg gives out! BILL HEWSON: This is bad! Static needs to take advantage here! Pit Boss begins to stir, and Static again struggles to his feet. Pit Boss gets up to one knee and looks up in time to have a SHINING WIZARD planted in his face! He looks not unlike a bobble head for a moment, then face plants. Static rolls away from the heap! He clambers for all he’s worth to the top of the turnbuckle! THIS COULD BE IT! Yes! He’s calling for the end! MOMENT OF CLARINO! BILL HEWSON: HOLY HELL! At the last second! Pit Boss got his foot up, and Static nearly DECAPITATED himself! The Hardcore Luchadore bends in a way that IS NOT natural, landing sickeningly near the corner! HE MIGHT BE DEAD! Pit Boss is like a rabid weasel! He grabs one of the fallen luchadore’s legs and cinches in… the CLOVERLEAF! Static flails, but there’s no where for him to go! John Sharplin gets down on all fours to check on Static… and Pit Boss GRABS THE ROPES FOR LEVERAGE! NO! NOT LIKE THIS! It’s too much! Static TAPS OUT! FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner… the PIIIIIT BOSS! BILL HEWSON: Why!? Why like this!? JACK JONES: It was a message, Bill Hewson, from Devastation to Rex Caliber. Static never stood a chance, and next week… neither will the Nexus One. Pit Boss rolls out of the ring and cockily struts to the back, waving away jeering fans with a smirk. Sharplin helps Static up, and boy does he look PISSED. He angrily punches the mat, and swears audibly, as we cut to commercial.
WAIT A MINUTE... WHAT!?!? BILL HEWSON: We are finally here, at the end of the night, and that can only mean one thing. It is time for our MAIN EVENT! JACK JONES: You may be excited, but I know one guy who shouldn't be, and that is Ravager. He is about to get thrashed in a tune-up victory for the next NAPW Champion, Devastation. BILL HEWSON: I wouldn't count Ravager out so quickly if I were you, he is coming in tonight with something to prove; that he should still be the NAPW Champion! Keep in mind that Ravager was not pinned in the Sole Survivor title match, Rex Caliber won the belt by beating Minstrel. JACK JONES: Rex had better tell the doctors to save his bed in the hospital, because he isn't going to be out of it long before Devastation takes the belt and puts Caliber right back in. And he won't be faking it that time. BILL HEWSON: Are you suggesting that Rex is faking his injuries now? We all saw the aftermath of the brutal assault on the champion! JACK JONES: Camera tricks and nothing more. Everyone thinks it was Ravager that attacked him, but I say that Rex staged the whole thing! "THE ROOF, THE ROOF, THE ROOF IS ON FIRE!" And so is the crowd tonight as they let Devastation know exactly how they feel about him with a chorus of boos as the Vicious Phenom comes out from the back. He smirks at the reaction and raises his hand in a condescending wave before heading down to the ring. The big man jumps up on the ring apron and climbs through the ropes, turning to face the entrance with a lazy smile as he waits for Ravager. JACK JONES: I was hoping to see Longshot out here tonight, but I guess he is still recovering in the Gold Standard from his injuries and couldn't make it to watch his talent get the win in the main event. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Mr. Shot. BILL HEWSON: Oh please. The first strands of "Path" by Apocalyptica play, and it gets a surprisingly mixed reaction from the crowd. It seems that at least some people do believe that Ravager was behind the heinous attack on Rex Caliber, and they are letting the former champ know it. Ravager comes out from the back looking amped up, Tiffany a few paces behind him. He points a finger towards Devastation, who hides a yawn behind his hand, and then Ravager is flying towards the ring! Devastation braces himself… wait! Out of the crowd! Somebody hits Ravager from the side as he runs down the aisle, sending him crashing into the security railing! It is WAYNE WRIGHT! Wright is hammering away on the surprised Ravager with rights and lefts, pounding on his back, shoulders and head. Tiffany covers her hands with her mouth and looks on in shock. BILL HEWSON: What the hell is Wayne Wright doing out here? JACK JONES: He is trying to collect that bounty! And he did it before the match started, so Devastation wouldn't get disqualified! Ravager has managed to get back to his feet, as Wayne continues to throw a windmill of punches at the former champion. Devastation is laughing inside the ring as Ravager tries to cover up. Finally Wright goes for a haymaker, and Ravager catches it on his arm. Ravager fires back, rocking Wayne Wright with several stiff rights. Wright goes for another looping hook, and Ravager ducks under it! Wright's momentum carries him around… DRAGON SUPLEX! Dragon Suplex on the floor! Wayne Wright just got folded like a lawn chair, and is completely out of it outside the ring. Ravager back to his feet and again he points at Devastation before sliding into the ring. The bell sounds and these two men are already at each other's throats. Ravager tries to brawl with the big man, but Devastation just covers up and then forces a tie-up with the former champion. BILL HEWSON: Devastation trying to slow Ravager down right away, take away some of that fire he came into the ring with. JACK JONES: Devastation is too smart to fight on Ravager's terms. Devastation leans his weight into the tie-up, backing Ravager towards the corner. The crowd doesn't seem to know quite who to get behind at this point. Ravager manages to turn Devastation around with a quick piece of footwork, pushing his back into the corner. Devastation uses his power to push Ravager back, then quickly sees an opening and pulls Ravager's left arm up into a tight keylock. Ravager is almost forced down to his knees, but he lashes out with his free right hand, striking Devastation in the ribs and takes the momentary weakening to turn the hold into a hammerlock on the Vicious Phenom. Devastation checks his shoulder as Ravager wrenches up in the hold, then fires back a quick elbow that strikes the former champ in the face. Devastation with a very quick reversal into his own hammerlock, surprising Ravager with his speed. Ravager looks for his own elbow, but Devastation ducks under it. Devastation grabs Ravager by the shoulder with his free hand and then hauls him straight up into the air in the hammerlock! Ravager writhes in pain in the elevated hold, and the Hybrid Icon tosses the Bluecollar Assassin forward to slam chest-first into the turnbuckle. Tiffany cries on encouragement outside, but to no use as Ravager stumbles backwards and Devastation flattens him with a clothesline across the back of the neck. BILL HEWSON: What power from the Vicious Phenom! He just tossed Ravager across half the ring like he weighed nothing! JACK JONES: I think he knocked Ravager out with that clothesline, this one is over! Devastation rolls Ravager over and goes for the pin, but Jack Jones is a little premature as Ravager kicks out right after the two count. Devastation pushes him back down for another lateral press and again gets the two from Dick Kiebiech. Devastation looks up at Kiebiech, holding up three fingers on his left hand, while using his right forearm to press down across Ravager's windpipe. Ravager kicks his feet wildly as Devastation distracts Kiebiech with his argument, but Dick has been in the game too long and sees the illegal choke. The ref starts a fast five count, and Devastation releases the hold, raising his hands in the air. Then, since he got caught trying to do it on the sly, Devastation just goes blatant and chokes Ravager with both hands. Tiffany slams the ring apron with her hands yelling at the ref. Kiebiech begins another five count and Devastation drags Ravager to his feet in the choke. Devastation turns around and slams Ravager into the corner as he releases the illegal move. Devastation takes two steps away, then turns and rushes in with a massive clothesline that nearly takes Ravager over the turnbuckles and out of the ring. Devastation backs up all the way to the opposite corner before charging in again, but this time Ravager throws both of his feet up! Ravager's legs hang in midair for a moment and Devastation catches them before they hit his face, dropping them across his shoulders. The Hybrid Icon steps backward and drops the former champion with a modified powerbomb out of the corner. Devastation with another pin attempt, hooking the leg this time; 1… 2… kickout! BILL HEWSON: I hate to say it, but Devastation is completely dominating Ravager here in the early going. I don't think Ravager expected this kind of quick reaction and technical ability from the Phenom, who has completely squashed his offense! JACK JONES: You hate to say it? Why, because you hate people who contribute to society? Devastation is one of the most charitable men that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, and I, for one, am glad to see any success he has! Devastation smiles as he drags Ravager to his feet, drawing heat from the crowd. He sends Ravager into the ropes and ducks down, telegraphing the back body drop. Ravager sees the surprising rookie mistake from the veteran and capitalizes, putting on the brakes and locking in a front facelock for the DDT! Tiffany cheers loudly for her man as Ravager falls back- NO!- Devastation stands straight up, lifting Ravager off the mat, then tosses him forward in a modified gordbuster! Ravager rolls on the mat clutching his chest from the impact, and Devastation spreads his arms wide and just grins, bringing in huge heat from the crowd, regardless of whether they were jeering Ravager before. Lifting one arm, the Vicious Phenom lines Ravager up carefully then drops the point of his elbow right into the sternum. Devastation hooks the leg again; 1… 2… shoulder barely off the mat! Devastation gestures that it doesn't matter and pins Ravager again; 1… 2… shoulder up. A third pin attempt, this time leaning both wrists directly on the former champs face, making an easy kick out but a painful one; 1… 2, shoulder up! BILL HEWSON: Devastation is making Ravager work to get up every single time his back is on the mat, and that kind of thing can really wear a man down. On the flip side, Devastation is basically resting in every pin attempt. JACK JONES: The man is a genius! Devastation again lifts Ravager off the mat, but this time Ravager comes up on fire, shoving Devastation's hands away and cracking him across the jaw with a stiff left followed by a thunderous right. Devastation stumbles backwards and Ravager drives a hard knee into his stomach. European uppercut staggers Devastation, and then another! The former champion is on fire as he backs Devastation into the corner and unleashes a harsh backhand chop. The Hybrid Icon hunches his shoulders and covers his chest, but Ravager yanks his hands away and lays into him with a series of three ripping chops. The Bluecollar Assassin grabs Devastation by the arm and whips him across the ring so hard that Ravager leaves his feet. Devastation crashes into the corner as Ravager gets back to his feet. Getting up a head of steam, Ravager runs across the ring and leaps high into the air for a stinger splash… Devastation catches him in mid-air! Devastation hefts Ravager up another foot and drops him, slamming Ravager's head right into the top of the steel ringpost! Ravager takes two woozy steps backwards as the blood begins to flow from a cut on his forehead, and Devastation grabs him before he can fall. HUGE double-underhook powerbomb from the Vicious Phenom! Tiffany is begging Ravager to stay in it as Devastation leans on both legs for the pin; 1… 2… thr-kickout! BILL HEWSON: Ravager about a millisecond away from losing the match there, and I don't know how he kicked out of that move! JACK JONES: Looked like a slow count to me, but Dick Kiebiech isn't doing Ravager any favors by letting this match go on longer. Look, he's a bloody mess in there! Jones is not wrong, as blood drips off of Ravager's nose and chin when Devastation hauls him up by the hair. Devastation measures Ravager and then unleashes a huge right to the chin. Ravager somehow manages to stay standing and answers with a right of his own. Devastation is rocked, but comes right back with a back elbow that sends Ravager into the ropes. Ravager comes back with a running forearm that staggers the Hybrid Icon. Devastation steps back in and slams his huge hand across Ravager's chest with a resounding chop. Ravager cocks his right fist back and Devastation raises an arm to block… Ravager kicks Devastation in the side of the right knee! Devastation drops to one knee in surprise and pain. Ravager hits the ropes behind the Phenom as Devastation gets back to his feet… CHOP BLOCK! Devastation lands on his back, grabbing his right knee with both hands. Ravager doesn't give him any time to recover, grabbing Devastation by the right leg and delivering a sharp series of kicks to the back of the knee and thigh. Ravager pushes the leg back down and puts his knee to the inside of the Hybrid Icon's, stretching the leg back across his thigh. Devastation pounds the mat with his elbows as Ravager stands up again to switch into a spinning toe hold. Devastation's face is twisted with pain, but he gets his other foot up and plants the huge boot in Ravager's chest, shoving him backwards hard. The Vicious Phenom starts to get to his feet, but Ravager flies right back in with a dropkick placed perfectly on the patella. Devastation drops to his stomach, reaching back for his knee, but the former champion gets it first. Ravager grabs Devastation by the foot and lifts his right leg high in the air before driving it back down to the mat. Ravager keeps his grip on the leg, this time placing his own knee on the back of Devastation's. Ravager jumps into the air and falls with a brutal kneedrop to the back of Devastation's knee. Devastation rolls over to his back, grabbing at his injured leg. Ravager isn't done with him yet as he grabs the leg yet again, spins into the toehold… FIGURE FOUR! Pulling a page out of Ric Flair's book, a bloody Ravager locks in the deadly figure four on Devastation right in the middle of the ring! BILL HEWSON: Ravager is back in this match in a big way, taking the wheels away from Devastation! He just cut away the big man's knee in a huge way, and now Devastation might be forced to tap to this figure four! JACK JONES: It will never happen! It looks like it actually might as Devastation tosses his head back and forth, screaming no as Dick Kiebiech asks him if he wants to stop the match. But the Vicious Phenom has been in tighter spots, and he begins to drag himself towards the ropes, using his massive upper-body strength to pull both his own and Ravager's weight towards the edge of the ring. Ravager tries to stop the progress, but only manages to slow it, and instead focuses his efforts on keeping the hold locked in as tightly and painfully as possible while he can. Devastation stretches his fingers out and finally reaches up to grab the ropes. Kiebiech is forced to count as Ravager refuses to break the hold, doing as much damage as he can before releasing just before five. Ravager gets to his feet, blood dripping down from his face and pooling on the mat, and delivers a stiff kick to the face of Devastation. Ravager drags Devastation by the injured leg over to the corner, then places the foot of the Hybrid Icon on to the second rope. Ravager climbs to the second rope and sits on the top turnbuckle. Ravager raises his arms and then comes off the top with a double foot stomp that takes Devastation's elevated leg off the rope and slams the knee down into the mat. Devastation's roar echoes through the building and the crowd takes in a collective gasp at the sick impact. BILL HEWSON: Ravager is trying to break Devastation's knee! JACK JONES: He is trying to ruin the career of this brilliant talent because he is a sick, jealous freak! Disqualify him before anything disastrous happens! Ravager drags Devastation away from the ropes over the protestations of Kiebiech. Pulling his injured leg to the side, Ravager scissors Devastation thigh and falls to the mat, grabbing the Vicious Phenom by the foot and heel with both hands and pulling back in a nasty kneebar submission. It is all Devastation can do not to scream out at the pain lancing through his leg while Ravager tries to completely tear his kneecap out of place. Kiebiech leans over Devastation, asking if he wants to submit, and Devastation clenches his teeth and shakes his head, his face turning bright red. Devastation throws his head back, shaking it wildly as Ravager grins through a mask of blood and continues to wrench back on the hold. On the outside, Tiffany is wildly cheering and managing to get the crowd behind Ravager as he tries to make the big man tap out. The Vicious Phenom's hand is hovering over the mat, his eyes screwed shut, every muscle in his body standing out in stark relief as he fights with all of his power not to give up. The hand drops further… it shoots back up as Devastation sits straight up and reaches his long arms out to grab Ravager by the face and just blatantly rake both eyes with his grasping fingers. Ravager releases the hold and rolls away, palms pressed to his eyes, and Devastation rolls out of the ring to land on the outside, unable to even stand. BILL HEWSON: Devastation winning himself a brief respite with that desperation move, but Ravager is still in control of this match unless the Phenom can find a way to live with the pain in that injured knee. JACK JONES: The Hybrid Icon is just taking a moment to catch his breath, those weak holds of Ravager can't keep him down! Dick Kiebiech begins a slow ten count of Devastation, who is still rubbing his knee on the outside, not even testing his weight on it yet. Ravager stands up in the corner, rubbing the fog from his eyes and shaking his head. He looks around the ring, but can't see Devastation sitting on the outside against the apron. Ravager looks down to Tiffany, enraged that his foe might have escaped while he was blind, and she points him in the right direction. Ravager gets to the ropes just as Devastation comes up to his feet, putting almost all of his weight on his left leg. Ravager hits the opposite ropes and then comes back to nail Devastation in the back with a baseball slide, sending him reeling forward to crash into the security railing. Ravager jumps down to the outside and grabs Devastation by the back of the head, slamming him into the railing again. Ravager drags the Vicious Phenom over to the corner and rings his bell by slamming his head down into the steel steps. Ravager is on fire, pulling Devastation back and then whipping him into the steps hard enough that the Hybrid Icon flips over them completely. Dick Kiebiech is nearing the end of his count, and Ravager slides briefly in and out of the ring to break it. As the referee starts over, Ravager stalks Devastation on the outside. Ravager grabs Devastation by the back of the head, this time slamming his face into the ring apron. Ravager does it again, and again, and again… the crowd starts counting along; 4… 5… 6… 7… 8, 9, 10! Ravager looks Devastation square in his dazed eyes and then drops him with a DDT to the floor! BILL HEWSON: DDT! DDT on the floor! Devastation is out cold! Ravager just needs to get him in the ring to end this match! JACK JONES: No chance in hell! Devastation is just playing possum! Ravager stands slowly, some of the adrenaline rush starting to wear off as he wobbles in place. He still has the presence of mind to roll Devastation into the ring and slide in after him. Ravager is fading fast from sheer exhaustion and blood loss catching up to him now, and he drapes an arm across Devastation for the cover; 1… 2… Devastation gets a foot up on the ropes. Ravager looks up, confused, and Kiebiech points to the stretched out right leg of Devastation. Ravager hauls himself to his feet and delivers a vicious kick to the already injured knee to knock the leg down and elicit a sharp cry of pain from Devastation. Ravager reaches down and facelocks Devastation, pulling him slowly to his feet. Ravager appears to be steeling himself for something, leaning his weight against Devastation before lifting and… MUSCLE BUSTER! Ravager doesn't keep the big man up long, but it is long enough for the crushing muscle buster! Ravager makes the pin, and it is academic at this point; 1… 2… thre-NO! Devastation somehow, someway, digs down deep and just gets his shoulder a fraction of an inch off the mat. Ravager can't believe it, holding up three fingers and he pushes his blood-matted hair back from his eyes, but getting a show of two in response from Kiebiech. Tiffany is banging her hands on the mat in a pattern of three slaps over and over again, yelling at Kiebiech as well, but that decision stands. The crowd here might not like Devastation, but they respect the amount of intestinal fortitude it took to get a shoulder up after that move. Devastation gets up to one knee while Ravager argues, and the former champion shoots him a look of rage. Ravager hits the ropes, coming flying back at Devastation… Devastation lurches to his feet and forward, catching Ravager with a huge SPINEBUSTER! The entire ring shakes from the impact, and both men are down, Devastation flopping over to his back, chest rising and falling in deep panting breaths. BILL HEWSON: I can't believe that Devastation is still in this match after the strain on his knee and then the savage beating around the outside of the ring! JACK JONES: I told you, he was just lying in wait for the right moment to take Ravager down. Now he's just building the suspense until his big finish with the Burning Hammer! Kiebiech begins a ten count as both men are down and unmoving; 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… Devastation blinks the sweat from his eyes, staring up at the bright lights for another long moment before straining every muscle in his body just to begin rolling over. 7…8… 9… He drapes one massive arm across Ravager, who appears to be unconscious. The crowd, forgetting whatever might have happened between Ravager and Rex, is fully behind the former champion, cheering his name along with Tiffany as Kiebiech begins to count; 1… 2… thre-shoulder up! Unbelievable! Devastation doesn't even have the strength to argue as he reaches out to grab the ropes and starts the arduous process of getting to his feet. Ravager gets both arms over the second rope and pulls his chest up over it, his eyes only half open. Tiffany stands in front of him, urging him on, as a few feet away Devastation props himself up in the corner, still keeping weight off his right leg. Ravager grabs the top rope and shakily gets to his feet as the Vicious Phenom remains slumped in the corner. Ravager stumbles over and just kicks Devastation in the midsection, driving him to sit on the mat. Ravager continues stomping away, kicking Devastation over and over again in the face and chest. Kiebiech tries to get Ravager out of the corner, but is shoved aside as Ravager drags Devastation up to his feet. Ravager again strains to lift the huge Hybrid Icon, but gets him up and sits him on the top rope. The crowd is going wild calling for the Instant Karma, and Ravager is happy to oblige. He climbs up in front of Devastation and without warning the Vicious Phenom's hand shoots out like a piston into Ravager's stomach three times. Devastation hooks Ravager's head and stands up, lifting him and then dropping him forward with a super gordbuster! Devastation practically falls out of the corner then, but he does so with his elbow extended to plant across the back of Ravager's neck! BILL HEWSON: That could be the final nail in Ravager's coffin, all of Devastation's weight coming down in the elbow across the back of his neck! JACK JONES: Just ring the bell, save Ravager the embarrassment of this match going on any longer! Winner: Devastation! Devastation rolls Ravager over for what could be the end; 1… 2… thre-shoulder up again! The crowd has no idea how Ravager is still going, but they're screaming his name because of it! In a mad fury, Devastation grabs Ravager by the hair and just drives his right fist into his face over and over again until Kiebiech threatens to disqualify him on the next closed fist. Devastation gets back to his feet and drags Ravager up after him, still limping heavily because of that right leg. Devastation takes hold of Ravager's arm and drags him in for the first of the series of three short-arm clotheslines he calls the Rapid Fire. The second one connects even harder than the first. Devastation takes a step back and yanks Ravager in for the final clothesline, releasing the held arm as he does, and it almost turns Ravager inside out, sending into a full twisting backflip in the air. Devastation lets out a roar and drags both thumbs across his throat. The Vicious Phenom lifts Ravager off the mat and sets him up for the Burning Hammer. Ravager is helpless on the huge Hybrid Icon's shoulders, and Devastation sends the former champion's legs high into the air AND RAVAGER LANDS ON HIS FEET! Ravager flips completely over and lands on his feet before the Burning Hammer can land. Devastation doesn't even know what happened as Ravager locks in a full nelson for the DRAGON SUPLEX! Ravager bridges for the pin; 1… 2… thre-NO! NO! Devastation kicks out! These two men have absolutely nothing left, but they just keep on fighting! Devastation rolls over to his stomach and goes still as Ravager sits up practically tearing at his hair. He looks to the corner again, his eyes gleaming madly through curtains of blood and the crowd is on their feet. Ravager drags Devastation over to the corner and lifts him up slowly to place him on the top turnbuckle. Devastation is slumped over where he sits, his chin deep in his chest, head lolling. BILL HEWSON: This has to be it. This has to be the end for Devastation! JACK JONES: No! Somebody do something! Ravager climbs up in front of Devastation… Devastation shoves him backwards off the turnbuckle! But Ravager lands on his feet and rushes in to deliver a hammer blow to the side of Devastation's head, knocking him silly. Ravager ascends the turnbuckle again and hooks Devastation's head. Tiffany is screaming… but it isn't for the apparent victory of Ravager! Pit Boss, along with Bunker and Stump, suddenly run out from the back and slide into the ring! Kiebiech tries to get in their way but is shoved aside and all three men pull Ravager down from the turnbuckle. Stump and Bunker hold Ravager's arms as Pit Boss lines him up and then punches him in the face. Kiebiech calls for the bell, but Charitable Trust doesn't seem to care as Pit Boss strikes Ravager again in the face and Devastation slowly climbs down from the corner to stagger off holding himself up on the ropes. Suddenly Ravager comes to life, throwing an elbow to Stump, elbow to Bunker! He ducks under another punch from Pit Boss… DRAGON SUPLEX! The third Dragon Suplex of the night! Ravager explodes up to his feet and wheels around… DEVASTATION! BURNING HAMMER! Ravager's head is slammed down into the mat, and the rest of his body follows lifelessly. Bunker and Stump help Pit Boss to his feet but he shoves them aside as Tiffany runs to her man's aide. BILL HEWSON: No! Don't let that sick Pit Boss near Tiffany! This is too much! Bill Hewson's pleas go unheard as Pit Boss steps in front of Tiffany and deliver the PAY OUT! Tiffany screams and taps the mat wildly in the clutches of the clover leaf, while Devastation, Bunker and Stump stomp away on Ravager. This is too much, and there isn't anyone to help Ravager and poor Tiffany! Pit Boss really wrenches back the hold, his mouth stretched into a wide smile until two boots strike him right in the mouth! STATIC! STATIC is in the ring and he's knocked Pit Boss off of Tiffany with a huge dropkick. Static rushes across the ring and knocks Devastation down with a leaping double sledge to the back of the neck! He spins around to do more damage, but finds himself between a rock and a hard place named Bunker and Stump. The two bodyguards seize Static by the arms and then deliver a double headbutt to both temples when he tries to struggle free. Static can't break free, and Devastation stands back up, looking over at the Hardcore Luchadore, and then down at Ravager. Devastation picks Ravager up off the mat and Pit Boss comes over to assist. The two lift Ravager up between them and then run forward to ram Ravager's head right into Static's at full speed! Ravager and Static fall bonelessly to the mat beside Tiffany. Pit Boss, Bunker, Stump and the number one contender for good or ill, Devastation, all stand tall over their fallen foes. BILL HEWSON: Ravager wins the match by disqualification, but at what cost? Damn that Charitable Trust! The name is a joke, they're nothing more than a pack of hyenas! JACK JONES: That is what I call good triumphing over evil! BILL HEWSON: Then you are just as sick as they are! That is all the time we have, tune in to Action! to see… who knows what? This is Bill Hewson and Jack Jones signing off! We go off the air to an image of Devastation and Pit Boss holding their arms up in the center of the ring. And why shouldn't they? The Charitable Trust has just conquered Monday Night Fights.
Lights down.
|