COMPLETE CONTROL05/01/2006
BILL HEWSON: We are LIVE from Seattle Washington! This is NAPW! This... is...COMPLETE CONTROL! I'm Bill Hewson alongside Jack "Attack" Jones and tonight, it will be WAR GAMES! Also the Tag Team titles will be on the line, and the Provincial title is on the line in a ladder match! JACK JONES: Hey, and what about The New & Improved D-X taking on...well, Monsters, Inc or something against JASON and Predator? BILL HEWSON: That's certainly going to be a physical, vicious affair. No disqualification, no count-outs. But on the opposite side of the spectrum is our next encounter. It will be the match to determine the first-ever Pure Honor Champion... And with that, "Stinkfist" by Tool begins to play. "The Prototype" Ryan Pibb makes his entrance with a cocky, arrogant grin. The crowd boos as he makes his way to the ring, posing in the center. Then... it's the Mexican National Anthem. Waving the bird-killing snake green, red and white of the Mexican flag proudly ... EL MENTIROSO makes his Seattle debut! BILL HEWSON: Conspicuous by her absence, of course, is Senora Seurte. El Mentiroso has requested she stay at the back. We will have a completely clean Pure Honor title match, with no distractions, and no chance for the rest of The Syndicate to harass Seurte at ringside. Diamond will be her bodyguard backstage, as well! JACK JONES: Good of El Mentiroso to play fair, he's cheated his way to the top so far... oh, who am I kidding? Even I can't find anything wrong with El Mentiroso, except that he's so nauseatingly, perfectly...GOOD. Both men in the ring, Kiebiech holds the Kiniski Cup high above his head. Warburton! FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL, and is a Pure Honor division contest... for the Kiniski Cup! Introducing first, to my left. From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania... "THE PROTOTYPE"... RYANNNNN PIIIIIIB! And his opponent, from MEXICO CITY! I give you... ELLLLL MENTIROSOOOOO! BILL HEWSON: And this match is underway! Who will be the first Pure Honor champion? El Mentiroso starts by grabbing the wrist of Ryan Pibb and torquinq it around in an Arm Wringer, stretching out everything from the wrist to the shoulder... Pibb releases the pressure by rolling through and unwinding, setting Mentiroso for a Short-Arm Clothesline... Mentiroso effectively counters the charge attempt by going downstairs, Drop Toe-Hold sends Pibb face-first to the mat. Mentiroso bounds straight up into the air, jack-knifes--LEG DROP, hits nothing but canvas as Pibb rolls out of the way. Early high-risk attempt by Mentiroso in this Pure Honour match... Pibb's standing to grab the ankle of the dazed Mentiroso, and starts moving around it... he was obviously thinking of some kind of leg hold, but Mentiroso pushes him off with a boot to his seat. Pibb lands against the ropes and brakes by grabbing them--that's not a rope break, in case you're feeling antsy at home-- behind him Mentiroso's kipped up and grabs Pibb by the shoulder looking to get physical. Pibb obliges by whirling around and tagging him STIFF with a knife-edge chop. WOO! Mentiroso recoils from the sharp STING of the chop, and Pibb goes back to the well. WOO! A second chop has Mentiroso nursing his chest--Irish Whip from Pibb sends him into the opposite ropes. Pibb's in position for a Back Body Drop, Mentiroso's caught hurtling towards him but has the wherewithal to leap under his own power, catches Pibb with the SUNSET FLIP! Referee goes down for the count on this unexpected pin cover, ONE! Just one, before Pibb rocks Mentiroso over and tries for a pinfall of his own. ONE! Mentiroso twists out of it, but keeps his legs scissored around Pibb, and rolls them both over 360¼. Mentiroso hoists his back off the mat while Pibb's shoulders are down--ONE! Pibb breaks the count by bringing his heel high and clubbing Mentiroso in the chest. The Mexican drops flat on his back and Pibb sits up. ONE! And Mentiroso knocks HIM over to reverse the pin--ONE! Pibb uses his entire body to push Mentiroso forward and over, richocheting off the ropes and back to Pibb, who turns him over into a Schoolboy--ONE! TWO! And a kick-out by Mentiroso, knocking Pibb clean off of him! BILL HEWSON: A series of pinfall attempts from the two Kiniski Cup finalists, both of whom HAD to now it was too early in the contest for a win! JACK JONES: That may be the facts on paper, Hewson, but a game of one-upsmanship like that, a "no you don't, here's mine", that helps set a HUGE psychological advantage, I'll tell ya. I think Pibb's sent Mentiroso a message, loud and clear. Pibb's pouncing back on Mentiroso, slapping on a Front Facelock, compressing the luchador's face with his forearm. He gives Mentiroso's noggin a good shake, and then with a flourish, applies a Russian Leg Sweep, driving him back hard--that's a Whiplash 2000 in some circles, folks. Pibb's relinquished the Facelock and Mentiroso's thrashing from the impact. Wasting little time, Pibb scoops Mentiroso up by the armpits to a seated position, grabs his wrists, and then PLANTS his knee into Mentiroso's back. It looks a seated Bow-and-Arrow--AGAIN with a knee strike to Mentiroso's back! A little bit of innovation from The Prototype, and a THIRD knee strike between Mentiroso's shoulder blades before he starts properly wrenching back. A fair bit of punishment for the Mexican Superstar, and he's not nearly close enough to the edge of the ring to use one of his three rope breaks. While Pibb pulls back, Mentiroso grimaces in pain, his one leg shaking in futility. Pibb growls and cinches back tighter, starting to fold Mentiroso's back in a seemingly impossible angle. "ASK HIM!", Pibb orders the ref. Our referee obliges and checks with Mentiroso, to no answer, either due to a reluctance to lose, either that or not understanding the question. Stubbornly, Mentiroso struggles to get to his knees, even as Pibb retaliates by pulling back even TIGHTER. Mentiroso wobbles onto his feet, and as Pibb's knee slides out of position, he improvises by sliding the hold into a Reverse Arm-Trap, keeping Mentiroso caught. Mentiroso may be standing, but he's got nowhere to go! Pibb's got his foot in front of Mentiroso's, he's looking for a modified STROKE! Going down--HOLY! Mentiroso prevented one of his feet from being swept--and PUTS ON THE BRAKES, HALFWAY DOWN! His one bent leg stops them from falling, like a bicycle kickstand! The knee lowers--is it gonna buckle? NO! Mentiroso POWERS the two of them backwards, and Pibb's shoulderblades are at the bottom of the pile! Here comes the count! ONE! TWO! Pibb kicks out there, and hastily releases his opponent from the arm-trap. Both men find their feet, but Mentiroso's back has suffered a bit of work-- JACK JONES: --and that little stunt can't have done his KNEE any favours, neither! Pibb sees his opponent slowing down, and winds up off the ropes, coming at him with the HIGH KNEE--MENTIROSO'S HEAD DODGES--SPINEBUSTER! Mentiroso may have turned the tide with that maneuver-- BILL HEWSON: --Mentiroso's not known for his power maneuvers but BY GOD, he's gonna let the size advantage work in HIS favour tonight! The crowd's squealing now, and Mentiroso takes a moment to catch some faces in the crowd and draw breath--he's running off the ropes--Running Senton! It's another thunderous blow to Pibb, although Mentiroso finds himself nursing his back after that exchange. From there, he pulls Pibb up by the shoulder and tights, from there it's a tie-up... VERTICAL SUPLEX! Pibb comes crashing to the mat like a sack of Oreos here, but Mentiroso wastes very little time standing him up again. From here, it's a whip into the ropes--Pibb rebounds and gets lifted into a SIDEWALK SLAM. It seems turn about is fair play here, Mentiroso aiming to cause some injury of his own to Pibb's back! And he's picking Pibb back up again--it's another whip, this time into--DEAR LORD--a TILT-A-WHIRL BACK BREAKER! Pibb bounces off Mentiroso's good knee in anguish, and Mentiroso makes his way onto the top turnbuckle. Pibb seems incognisant--MOONSAULT! From EL MENTIROSO! That's a cover! ONE! TWO! AND PIBB KICKS OUT! RYAN PIBB KICKS OUT! Mentiroso seems frustrated, that's for sure, but keeps a devilish smile on his face. This one's gonna have to keep going, and he knows it! Picking Pibb up again, it's another whip--COUNTERED! BY PIBB! With a whip of his OWN--and Mentiroso EATS SUPERKICK on the way back! Pibb himself collapses from the desperation counter, but Mentiroso must be out like a light! Pibb's stirring! He shambles over to Mentiroso--and COLLAPSES! That's the PIN! ONE! TWO! THRKICK OUT! KICK OUT! BILL HEWSON: I think both of these men are going to KILL THEMSELVES if it means getting the WIN! JACK JONES: Both men have had plenty of time to study each other leading up to this match-up, both men came into Seattle knowing what they'd have to GIVE to one-up the other guy. Pibb, grimacing, picks himself up with the ropes, and leans facing a turnbuckle in order to catch his breath. Mentiroso slowly comes to standing without support and goes to grab Pibb from behind... but Pibb whirls around and seemingly pie-faces his opponent with an open hand to push him back-- BILL HEWSON: WAIT A MINUTE! DID HE JUST JAB HIS THUMB IN MENTIROSO'S EYE JUST NOW? JACK JONES: Ehh... Ref didn't see it, and I wasn't looking. But that's what you GET for coming at a guy from behind like that. Mentiroso falls back, clutching his face. The ref MIGHT be suspecting something here, to be fair, but Pibb's straight on the warpath--charging at Mentiroso, he turns the momentum into a Whip, sending him hurtling into the corner--Pibb with a full head of steam--and it's the HIGH KNEE! A Harley Race HIGH KNEE finally connects later in the match, and Mentiroso stumbes out of the corner--and Pibb slips in behind him! REAR NAKED CHOKE! He's got it cinched in! JACK JONES: He's close enough to grab the ropes--JUST DO IT! BILL HEWSON: Well, for WHATEVER reason, Mentiroso's not taking the easy way out! But struggle as he might, Mentiroso can't seem to break the sleeper, and after a burst of resistane, we see his eyes fade and his arms droop. The referee obliges by raising his arm, and it flops back to his side. "ONE!" Arm raised a second time, but Pibb SQUEEZES Mentiroso and his arm falls like limp cloth. "TWO!" The ref lifts Mentiroso's arm for the third and final time--and it falls IT'S A FIST! And with the fist the bicep curls--MENTIROSO IS ALIVE! Eyes bugging out of his head, he's struggling against Pibb's Sleeper Hold--to no avail! WAIT A MINUTE! Mentiroso swings his feet towards the ropes--is it gonna be a ROPE BREAK? NO! HE'S SPRINGBOARDING--A FULL FLIP--DDT! DDT! BILL HEWSON: SLICED BREAD #2! JACK JONES: SHIRANUI! BILL HEWSON: AN IMPROVISED COUNTER! JACK JONES: A DDT OF SOME KIND! Whatever you want to call it, Pibb's head has hit the canvas, and Mentiroso's free to breathe. And with the crowd on their feet, Mentiroso, clutching his own neck, forces himself to stand. He cries to the crowd-- EL MENTIROSO: "YO TENGO EL HONOR!" JACK JONES: Hang on, let me get my dictionary... --and picks Pibb up to standing! Irish Whip! Mentiroso deplos a Hurrican--NO! ROLLING LEG FULL NELSON! WHAT DID WE SEE? WHAT AN UNORTHODOX SUBMISSION! But Mentiroso's leaning back, and he's torquing the back of Pibb! Pibb's screaming in AGONY! BILL HEWSON: If Pibb taps out here, it's all OVER! Pibb's hand is fanned out--he's reaching for the ropes, but they might as well be in the next adjacent ring! The Seattle crowd is chanting "TAP! TAP! TAP!"... Pibb's hand and fingers tremble, he's not gonna make it--THE HAND COMES DOWN! PIBB HAS JUST--NO!!! HE'S NOT TAPPING!!! HE'S WHITE-KNUCKLING THE MAT! HE'S GRIPPING IT WITH EVERYTHING HE'S GOT! AND NOW WITH HIS OTHER HAND! PIBB NEEDS TO DRAG HIMSELF TO THE ROPES--AND HE'S SUCCEEDING!!! BILL HEWSON: But even if he doesn't, he's dragging his opponent along with him! He'll KILL himself! JACK JONES: And it's either THAT or LOSE THE MATCH, Hewson. The crowd's on their feet--Pibb is advancing so slowly, so slowly, so--HE'S GOT IT! HE'S GOT THE BOTTOM ROPE! The crowd is JEERING at the near-submission! FRANK WARBURTON: Ryan Pibb hs used his FIRST! ROPE BREAK! BILL HEWSON: Dear Lord, partner, I almost forgot this was a PURE match! JACK JONES: Hey, as far as I'm concerned, these two could have grabbed the ropes a million times by now--there's something MORE going on here. Hey! Pibb's picking himself up with the ropes! Pibb is, in fact comletely exhausted by the time he gets to standing, and when he lurches forwards, he eats DROPSAULT from El Mentiroso! Pibb teeters backards, but the ropes stop his descent, and he's propped back to standing, if only for a few seconds! Mentiroso's on his feet--TORNADO DDT! Once more, Pibb's been planted on his head! And Mentiroso! He's on the top turnbuckle! This Seattle crowd is coming UNGLUED--he's blowing the crowd a kiss--EL MENTIRA GRANDE! Crashing that leg across his chest! And he HOOKS THE LEG! ONE! TWO! THREE! FRANK WABURTON: Here is YOUR winner--and the FIRST! PUUURE! HONOUR! CHAAAMPIONNN---ELLLLLLLL... MENTIROOOSOOO! BILL HEWSON: He did it! He did it! El Mentiroso is the Pure Honor Champion! And there is the Kiniski Cup... what a fantastic, honorable match! JACK JONES: Yeah...yeah, it was. I gotta hand it to El Mentiroso, I never expected him to go all the way here tonight! The Mexican National Anthem plays... El Mentiroso holds the trophy above his head, but the celebration is not complete. Señora Seurte, with Diamond following, skips to the ring and wraps her arms around El Mentiroso, clearly thrilled that her man is the champion. Diamond shakes El Mentiroso's hand and then raises his arm high. BILL HEWSON: El Mentiroso is not only a man Mexico can be proud of, he's a man this sport can be proud of. What a tremendous match-up, what a TRUE champion we have! El Mentiroso goes outside, where he shakes the hands of the fans, stopping particularly at the well-known faces of Travis and his father. Travis doesn't seem to know whether he should be happy or excited for El Ment's defeat of Ryan Pibb, but his father shakes El Mentiroso's hand ecstatically. And with that... cut backstage, where it's Delivery Man #1 and the sultry Tex going over strategy for the Battle Royale. VOICE: Hey check out this hot little number. You ever been with a SUPERSTAR, baby? That voice can only be one man... SUPERSTAR Tommy Deathrow, and his partner-in-crime KRUSTY KID PAUL. Tex makes a disgusted sound as Tommy leers at her. #1 gets up in his face, but KKP meets him right there. DEATHROW: Easy there, big fella. I don't want anything to do with your little skank anyways. But uh... my man right here (slaps KKP on the shoulders) is going to win that Battle Royale. So don't get your hopes up. You neither sista, you couldn't handle the SUPERSTAR! KKP and Deathrow laugh it up, walking out of the scene. Tex draws #1 close to her, #1 looking after the punks with a scowl on his face...
BILL HEWSON: That's obscene, Jack Attack. For those of us just joining us tonight, we're about to witness the Action Battle Royal! The winner of this match will get a shot at the Television Championship! JACK JONES: "For the hunting!" *snort* BILL HEWSON: Uh, anyway, the competitors are all making their way down to the ring. Indeed they are. One of the rings is filling with wrestlers. Mark "The Moose" Miller, Technique, Dez Carter, Wayne Wright, Nightwolf, Lobo, Carter Owens, Karl Van Helden, Raptor, Dextro, Uzi, Joey Malone, Mr. Slick, Delivery Man #1, Axle Jaxx, Nenji, "The Tempest" Steve Henri, Whitney "The Pimpess" Sarven and Patrick Bickle are already in the ring. Krusty Kid Paul, flanked by Tommy Deathrow, is just arriving at the ring, and rolls in. Deathrow shoots a glare at Asuka, then Tex, then Buggsy at ringside. Braken and Mr. Maps look like their coming up with a game plan for their clients, perhaps being a little TOO chummy. Terry Brandon is giving Lobo a quick pep-talk from ringside before the bell. BILL HEWSON: A lot of managers at ringside. Things are already getting explosive in the ring, and not all of the competitors are here yet! And just like that "The Godfather Waltz" hits the sound system, and the Television Champion himself walks out, belt over his shoulder, a huge grin on his face. Half of the wrestlers in the ring turn and glare enviously at Travelli as he makes his way to ringside and sits down with Bill Hewson and Jack Jones. BILL HEWSON: It looks like Don Travelli is going to join us here at the announce table tonight! DON TRAVELLI: Paisans! JACK JONES: What an honour! The Television Champion, here at our desk! Can I get you anythingg, Don? DON TRAVELLI: I just wanna make sure thatta match dis important gets the right kinda commentary, capiche? "Song 2" hits and the crowd pops for Diamond. The luchadore grins and raises his arms high in salute to the crowdÉ and then he gets NAILED from behind by Rick Tees! Rick and John Tees knock Diamond down and just start STOMPING on him as the crowd's cheers turn to angry boos! BILL HEWSON: No! He's not even in the match yet! DON TRAVELLI: Looka dat! Dat's the kinda tactics that are right after my own heart! Dese two are going places, I'd say! EL MENTIROSO! The Pure Honour Champion hits the ramp for the save... but the Tees see him coming! The two men high-tail it down towards the ring, laughing all the way. Finally, some backstage officials join him, and El Mentiroso helps Diamond to his feet. The smaller man clutches at his ribs... BILL HEWSON: Damn the Syndicate! Diamond may be injured! JACK JONES: That's smart play, Bill Hewson. They're levelling the playing field before the match even starts. Indeed, Diamond looks to be in no condition to compete, and El Mentiroso helps him to the back with a trainer. The crowd continues to boo as the Tees slide into... the second ring? All the other competitors are in the FIRST ring! What... and there's the bell! Fists start flying, kicks are landed, and the two Syndicate members laugh out loud from the second ring. DON TRAVELLI: I lika dese guys' style! Krusty Kid Paul is a house of fire! He hits a running clothesline on Nightwolf, sending The Imperial over the top rope! First elimination of the match! He turns and nails a big boot that takes Wayne Wright off his feet, hauls Wright up, and hurls him over the top! Two eliminations, right off the bat! Deathrow applauds from ringside. JACK JONES: Good riddance to bad rubbish, Bill Hewson! KKP is taking out the trash! KKP turns to help Raptor and Joey Malone work the Moose over the top rope. Elsewhere in the ring, Uzi is in trouble. Patrick Bickle and Mr. Slick are double teaming him, mercilessly beating him down. The Tempest and KVH are exchanging chops in one of the corners. And Lobo? He points out the two laughing Tees and shouts something, but they just laugh all the harder. The Olympian turns in time to catch Nenji's attempt at a cross-body... presses him high over head, and with a running start HURLS the smaller man at the two Syndicate members! Rick and John stop laughing as they are bowled over! Lobo steps over the ropes, and into the second ring. BILL HEWSON: The action is spilling into both rings now! Delivery Man #1 with a half-nelson bulldog on Mr. Slick, giving Uzi a chance to fight back against Patrick Bickle! The Pimpess and Dextro and fightingÉ there's too much action to follow at once! KKP, the Raptor and Joey Malone manage to get the Moose over the top rope! The former Provincial champ spills out of the ring, eliminated! Joey Malone turns to celebrate, while the Raptor offers KKP a high five! KKP happily gives him a high five right in the eye then hurls the Raptor over the ropes! DON TRAVELLI: Now DATS entertainment! Braken is livid at ringside, and exchanges some harsh words with Mr. Maps and Tommy Deathrow, but the two men just laugh and wave goodbye. In the ring, John Tees and Rick Tees are in trouble. Lobo is using the ABDOMINAL STRETCH on John, while Nenji works Rick into the corner with a series of chops and kicks. Nenji backs away, plays to the crowd with a smile, then CHARGES into the corner for the Stinger Splash... NO! Rick catches him and pitches him headfirst over the turnbuckle! Nenji's out! Rick Tees turns and breaks Lobo's hold with a lowblow! BILL HEWSON: Unsportsmanlike! DON TRAVELLI: Bravo! Joey Malone has retreated to a corner turnbuckle, and is clinging tenaciously to the bottom. Tried but true, Bad Boy, tried but true. Axle Jaxx has engaged KKP. Slick has turned away from Uzi to double team Bickle with Delivery Man #1. Dextro has managed to work the Pimpess to the ropes, and is fighting to get her over. The Tees' double whip Lobo into the ropes... but the wrong ropes! He spills back into the first ring! Dextro just about has Whitney over the top... and Uzi grabs his legs! Dextro goes up... over... and lands on the Pimpess! Both of them hit the ground in a double elimination! JACK JONES: Great work by Uzi! Taking advantage of the situation, and nailing two sweet eliminations! DON TRAVELLI: I think we mighta be lookin' at da winner of da match, right there! Dez Carter has been lying low, but sideswipes Mr. Slick. Slick falls back into the ropesÉ and Buggsey catches him with a gold pocket watch! Right around the neck, a blatant choke! Slick flails, but Uzi rushes over and begins happily punching Slick in the kidneys! John Sharplin is on the other side of the ring, oblivious! Dez and #1 haul up Patrick Bickle... but the man hooks their heads... DOUBLE DDT! All three men are laid out. KKP has driven Axle Jaxx to the ropes, and the Tees grab him by the head and haul him into the second ring! Jaxx barely has time to rise when the two men grab him by the head and hurl him over the ropes! Axle Jaxx is eliminated! JACK JONES: Those two are unstoppable! BILL HEWSON: Oh? Looks like someone has taken issue with them! More than someone. Lobo heads back over the ropes and charges John Tees again, while Technique goes off a turnbuckle with a sweet dropkick that levels Rick! The Tempest joins them, helping Lobo haul up John Tees. Karl Van Helden is grappling with Carter Owen. There's still so much action... and wait! Mr. Slick is pulled over the top rope by Buggsey's watch! He's eliminated! Patrick Bickle off the top rope! SPEAR! Uzi is laid out! Technique is going upstairs too! Five Star Frog Splash... NO! Rick Tees ducks and Technique nails The Tempest by accident! Technique rolls away, clutching his ribs and Rick Tees picks the bones! He hauls up The Tempest and unceremoniously dumps him over the top rope! He turns to go after Technique... but Lobo takes him off his feet with a big boot! Back in the first ring, KVH has battled Owens towards the ropes. Owens looks dazed, and KVH goes to hit the opposite ropes... but no! Tommy Deathrow catches his foot! Van Helden turns and shouts some German obscenities down at Deathrow... and that's all Krusty Kid Paul needs to send KVH up over the top ropes! BILL HEWSON: Things are getting a little more manageable, now that the number of competitors is shrinking. JACK JONES: And Krusty Kid Paul is on FIRE! KKP turns to finish off Owens, who's still hanging on the ropes. He charges, but Carter Owens has the sense to duck... LOW BRIDGE! KKP goes over... but hangs on for dear life! Carter Owens reaches down to push KKP down, but KKP hooks his head... and... SUPLEX... not quite! Carter lands on the ring apron, and now both men begin exchanging blows, equally close to being eliminated! JOEY MALONE! He scrambles from his hiding place and CHARGES at the two men with a grin! They see him coming a mile away. LOW BRIDGE and Malone soars into the second row! Owens turns back to land a punch... but Tommy Deathrow has his leg! Carter Owens tries to kick him loose, but KKP hits a knee smash right there on the ring apron and Owens topples like a rag doll, out of the ring! Elimination! BILL HEWSON: No! No! No! DON TRAVELLI: Ha, ha, ha! KKP grins down at Tommy Deathrow (SUPERSTAR, DADDY!), then turns in time to have Delivery Man #1 punch him right in the chops! KKP boggles and topples off of the apron to a cheer from the crowd! Delivery Man #1 has eliminated him! JACK JONES: No! No! No! DON TRAVELLI: Never turn your back-a on a wiseguy, capice! Tommy Deathrow is LIVID! KKP hauls himself up to his feet and GLARES up at the gloating #1. Deathrow and KKP both reach into the ring and grab his legs, and Delivery Man #1 topples. He is hauled out of the ring by his legs and KKP and Deathrow start BRUTALIZING him! KKP throws him into the guardrail, and Deathrow just STOMPS on him! Tex! She hops on KKP's back... but he drives her into the ring apron! Tex clutches her back and slumps to the ground... DELIVERY MAN #2! He hits the ringside at top speed and dropkicks the heck out of Tommy Deathrow! Delivery Man #1 is able to regain his feet and begins exchanging shots with KKP! The Delivery Men, Tommy Deathrow and Krutsy Kid Paul begins tearing up the ringside area! DON TRAVELLI: A thing of beauty, dis! Whoa lookout! As Delivery Man #1 slams KKP's head into the announce table, the action begins to pick back up in the ring. Patrick Bickle hauls up Uzi and begins giving him chops in the corner. Lobo has been driven back into another corner by the Syndicate members, but Technique goes for the save again, climbing back to the top rope. He goes COAST TO COAST... but NO! John and Rick catch him in MID AIR! Technique panics, flails, but its too late! Rick and John have had enough of him, and dump him over the ropes! Technique has been eliminated! The Tees turn gleefully to Lobo... only to be double clotheslined by Dez Carter from behind! The crowd cheers, and Carter helps up Lobo in a show of sportsmanship. DON TRAVELLI: No! Eliminate him you dumb... CRIPES! SUPERSTAR Tommy Deathrow slams Delivery Man #2 against the announce table. The four men are battling their way up the ramp... Tex following, shouting encouragement to the Delivery Mmen as she clutches her back. After a moment, the five of them disappear into the back. Uzi and Patrick Bickle are now alone in the first ring. Bickle is the one on the defensive now, as The Kosher Assassin scoops him up for a sick SPINEBUSTER right in the middle of the ring! Patrick rolls towards Mr. Maps, at ringside, who reaches out a hand to help pull his charge out of dangerÉ but Buggsey Goldstein clocks Mr. Maps, and the manager drops like a sack of hammers! Patrick pulls himself up on the ropes and angrily spews obscenities at Goldstein... giving Uzi the chance to grab his legs and send him spinning over the top rope! Patrick Bickle is eliminated! Uzi slumps in the corner, alone in his ring, and takes a well earned moment to catch his breath. Dez Carter and Lobo are now matching against John and Rick Tees in the second ring. The martial artist, Dez, unleashes a martial arts rush on John Tees, while Lobo hauls up Rick for the pumphandle... wait for it... SLAM! Rick rolls aside, but Lobo is right after him, angrily reaching down to pull him up. John Tees is hanging from the ropes, shaking the cobwebs from his head. Dez Carter rears back, takes a step and SUPERKICK... John Tees ducks! Dez goes high and GROINS himself on the rope! John turns and shoves Dez over the rope, then turns to Lobo, and hops on his back, trying to pull the Olympian over... but Dez Carter isn't out! He's hanging from the top rope, feet dangling inches off the ground, skinning the cat! Asuka rushes over to help, but Dez is already pulling himself back into the ring... UZI! The Old Testament Terror NAILS Dez just as he's hanging over the ropes, and he spills right onto Asuka ringside! Eliminated! BILL HEWSON: What a heartbreaker! Dez Carter was so close to the end... but we're down to the final four. JACK JONES: And two of them have the last name TEES, Bill Hewson. I think this match is academic at this point. John Tees' sleeper on Lobo has finally brought the larger man down to his knees. Rick rises up, walks over, and as the crowd boos, he begins shouting into Lobo's face. Uzi doesn't make a move to help, content to let the three men fight and pick up the pieces later. John and Rick haul up Lobo and whip him to the ropes, but the large man doesn't go over. The Tees exchange a glance, then stalk over and start trying to work Lobo over the top... but the large man fights for all he's worth. Uzi finally gets into it, stepping over to help work Lobo out... but Lobo is a powerhouse, and refuses to go over the top! He clings tenaciously to the ropes, shaking his head. The crowd is rallying behind him, chanting "LoBO! LoBO!" John and Rick back off for a minute, leaving Uzi to try and work Lobo over the top. Uzi glances back and shouts at them to help... HOLY HELL! BILL HEWSON: Betrayal! Why is it always betrayal! DON TRAVELLI: You can't have friends inna Battle Royal, Billy-Boy! Uzi clutches at his groin, where Rick Tees just kicked him from behind! John laughs and grabs a handful of Uzi's hair, and marches across to the other side of the ring. Buggsey rushes over and grabs at Uzi's legs, trying to keep him in the match... BASEBALL SLIDE from Rick, and Buggsey reels into the guardrail! John dumps Uzi over the top! Elimination! The Tees laugh and turn back to Lobo... who isn't there!? He's ON THE TOP ROPE! BODY SPLASH! Lobo FLATTENS the Syndicate members! The crowd is on its FEET! John struggles to a corner while Lobo hauls up Rick and HURLS him into the opposite corner! Running clothesline! John is BLASTED! Another! Rick crumples! Lobo pulls him up and whips him at John. The two Tees quickly try and untangle themselves and rise to their feet. Lobo eyes them up, the pair try to move aside, Lobo charges! LOW BRIDGE! NO! NOT LIKE THIS! LOBO GOES OVERÉ but catches himself on the top rope! John and Rick let go of the ropes and begin pre-emptively celebrating in the ring! DON TRAVELLI: You haven't won yet! Lobo hangs on the apron, and Terry Brandon heads over. Brandon hands Lobo his solid steel briefcase, then intercepts John Sharplin and distracts him like the pro he is! John and Rick have FINALLY noticed Lobo, slowly rising on the apron! They exchange a glance, then chargeÉ Lobo turns! WHAM-O! He clocks Rick RIGHT into John, then drops the briefcase. Both Tees slump against the top ropes... Lobo hooks their heads... the crowd is on its feet, going wild... DOUBLE SUPLEX! Rick and John go up and over! Lobo lands on his back, feet in the air! John Sharplin, at the sounds of commotion, breaks away from Brandon and rushes over! He's signalling for the bell! FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen! By the decision of senior referee John Sharplin, the winner of this match is... LOBOOOOOOOO! BILL HEWSON: I can't say I'm too happy with the way that went down, but I CAN say that the best man won! Wait... where's the Don going!? Lobo has climbed back into the ring and raises his arms in victory as John and Rick Tees back up the ramp angrily, clutching at their heads and swearing loudly. The crowd cheers... and then Don Travelli hits the ring, belt in hand. Lobo turns and glares down at the Italian, but the Don hangs back, smiling... then extends a hand in congratulation. Lobo looks to the crowd for approval, and from the sound of things the crowd would rather he not trust the Don. JACK JONES: Come on! Shake his hand! He's congratulating you! BILL HEWSON: I wouldn't trust Travelli any farther than I could throw him... and I'm not certain I could even lift him! Lobo finally nods to himself and extends a hand to shake Travelli's. The two shake... and Lobo pulls Travelli close to GLARE down at him. Words are exchanged, then the two break and take a step back from each other. Lobo turns to leave... and LOWBLOW! Anyone who didn't see it coming is blind! Lobo crumples, clutching at his junk! Travelli holds the belt in Lobo's face and shouts "Dis is as close as you'll ever get again Lobo! You're gonna Sleepa Widda Fishes!" BILL HEWSON: Despicable! Low! And we've got to take a quick break!
BILL HEWSON: Good God, that was obscene! Somebody needs to stop Tommy Deathrow! #1 sees his partner down and tries to go help, but that allows Krusty Kid Paul to bash him in the back of the head with a handy fire extinguisher. #1 goes down hard as Deathrow...what the hell is this? Tommy Deathrow has #2 up again, sticking the man's head between his legs. He's going to Deathrow Drive him again! And that's when a pale hand sticks into the scene, brutally grabbing Tommy Deathrow's shoulder in a Tongan Death Grip. That hand belongs to STEIN, who bears down on a now-screaming Deathrow as #2 collapses to the locker room floor. Stein cinches on the Tongan Death Grip like CRAZY. KKP throws some right hands, but doesn't succeed in breaking the hold... finally KKP just boots Stein in the face, and that staggers Project Adam long enough for him to help Deathrow up. "Let's (BLEEP) the (BLEEP) outta here, man! (BLEEP)" Stein looks down on #2 with... well, not much of an expression. It could ALMOST be concern. Delivery Man #57 comes into the scene along with #82 (who is wearing an NAPW EMT shirt over his Delivery Depot togs). #82 yells for "some frickin' help back here! Frick!" BILL HEWSON: Damn that Tommy Deathrow! I would have hoped, thought that Sick Billy Kryenik had put a stop to his crap, but... #2 could be in serious condition! I can't believe I'm saying this, but thank God for Stein! JACK JONES: Nothing can stop the SUPERSTAR, Hewson. No antidote, vaccination, or quarantine --- BILL HEWSON: Jack, keep that up and the fans are going to think you're hinting at a return of The Plague, and then we get angry letters when we don't 'follow through', so just stop right there. In any event, we'll update you on #2's condition later tonight if we receive word. But right now, we have a match in the ring. It's D-X...versus Predator...and JASON. "Scarecrow" by Criss Angel hits and the crowd pops a big one for the masked one. Predator emerges only to stop and point back towards the curtain. Jason stalks out right after him and Predator seems quite pleased with himself, periodically slapping hands with some of the younger fans. FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is a tag team attraction, one fall. Entering the ring, at a combined weight of SIX HUNDRED AND FORTY-FIVE POUNDS!!! JAAAAAAAAAASON aaaaaand PREDATOR! Another big pop follows when suddenly the lights dim and we hear the strains of Foo Fighters playing "Low." Roberts is resplendent in his usual lime-green spandex and Richards is his usual cheerful self in his hat and duster. FRANK WARBURTON: Their opponents, at a combined weight of FIVE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SEVEN POUNDS!! Stylin' Kyle Roberts and Bruce "The Beast" Richards... The NEWWWWW AND IMPROOOOOVED DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-EX! JACK JONES: The three time tag champs, baby, my money goes on the winning horses, Hewson. BILL HEWSON: Have you seen Jason in action? He's a monster. JACK JONES: Yeah, whatever, him and Predator are weak caricatures of movie monsters. D-X are the real thing. Richards is an absolute BEAST of a man and Roberts, well... just look at that chest hair! If that's not The Wolfman, I don't know what is. BILL HEWSON: And isn't that a movie monster too? JACK JONES: Shut up and call the match. John Sharplin gives the signal and the bell is rung. D-X waste no time and both of them go straight at Jason and Predator. Jason withstands the onslaught and pie faces Roberts to the mat. Richards clubs him from behind, but Predator pulls him off his partner and sends him flying over the top. Predator follows after him as Jason stomps over to Stylin' Kyle, who looks genuinely rattled. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a hundred dollar bill, holding it out to Jason. BILL HEWSON: He's pulling a Drew Carey. JACK JONES: I really should run in there and swipe it, but I'm too pretty to put myself in that dangerous a situation these days. Jason makes no motion to take the bill and Kyle backs into a corner. He slides out of the ring instead and helps Richards subdue Predator, eventually slamming his head into the ring post. Jason lumbers out of the ring and grabs Richards by the throat. He is about to goozle The Beast, but Kyle nails grabs a chair and blasts his man in the back. John Sharplin is about to call for a DQ, but he notices that Jason doesn't seem affected. Kyle rears back for a blast to the head, but Jason stops his hand and lifts him with one arm, dangling in the air. Kyle begs for mercy just as Bruce clips Jason at the knee, slowing the big man down. D-X roll back into the ring and regroup in the corner. Meanwhile, John Sharplin exchanges some words with Frank Warburton. FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has just declared this match No Count Outs and No DQ! JACK JONES: Oh boy... BILL HEWSON: This could work in D-X's favor, as they will need all the help they can get. Jason climbs up to the ring apron while Predator, now fully recovered, reaches under the ring and begins producing tables, a ladder (for the upcoming match probably), a trash can full of weapons, a stop sign, the kitchen sink, and a bag of thumb tacks. The crowd is loving it. Bruce and Kyle are still talking strategy when Predator suddenly charges and spears the nearest poor sap, that being Kyle Roberts. He is speared so hard that he actually flies into the 2nd ring adjacent to the one they are in (War Games and all.) Richards is on Predator right after this occurrence, peppering him with a closed fist before sending him flying (WITH AUTHORITY) via the Pump handle Suplex. Predator is down and Jason looks on like a statue. Richards grabs the trash can and slams it down on Predator's head. He dumps out the remaining contents and manages to find the deadliest weapon of them all: CHYNA, IF THEY ONLY KNEW. Bruce doesn't even want to touch it, but gets over his fear and blasts Predator across the mask with it. Richards covers, but only gets 2. Kyle is now recovered from the mega-spear and wants revenge, badly. Bruce tags in his partner and "The Man With Blood On His Hands" gives a sadistic grin before stomping a mudhole into his man. Richards yells at Jason to "Watch This!" before planting him with a DDT onto Chyna's book. Ouch! Kyle covers, but again, Predator is resilient and kicks out at 2. Predator is just standing when Kyle hits the ropes and drops him with a Polar-izer and follows this with a Bear-tamer that has Predator bellowing in agony. JACK JONES: I know this is a no DQ match but using Chyna's book? That's pretty rough! BILL HEWSON: Didn't you used to date her? JACK JONES: ...Hey, look what's going on in the ring! Jason charges into the ring and attacks Kyle breaking the hold! Richards comes into the ring as the referee is trying to get Jason out and they send Predator into the ropes with a double Irish whip! Predator low bridges the move and hurls off the ropes dropping both members of DX with a flying double clothesline! Bruce rolls out of the ring as Predator scoops up Kyle and slams him to the mat like a sack of potatoes. Predator rolls to the outside and picks up the ladder laying at ringside. He sets it up, backdrops a charging Bruce Richards to the floor, and begins to ascend to the top! Inside the ring, Kyle is getting to his feet when Predator leaps from the outside in and hits an incredible flying shoulder block that turns the DX member inside out! Predator tags in Jason as the crowd chant "NAPW!" over and over. Jason comes into the ring prepared as he blasts a still dazed Kyle across the skull with the stop sign! Jason goes for the pin but Kyle kicks out at TWO. Jason stands over a hurting Kyle and doesn't see Bruce Richards slip into the ring with a steel chair! JACK JONES: This is gonna hurt! BILL HEWSON: You think? WHACK! The chair smacks across the back of Jason! No effect on Jason! Jason simply turns around and looks at a stunned Bruce Richards! Richards rams the edge of the chair into the ribs of Jason doubling him over! Predator enters the ring and plants a big boot into the face of Richards! the chair goes flying and so does the DX member! Jason watches as Predator chases Richards to the outside and leans over to pick up the discarded chair. Bulldog onto the chair by Kyle! Kyle rolls Jason over for the cover! Jason powers out at 2! On the outside Predator rams the head of "The Beast" into the ring apron and picks up the table! He leans the table against a ringpost and pushes Bruce up against the wood. JACK JONES: Oh. My. Predator hurls himself at Bruce and nails a spear through the table and into the ringpost! BILL HEWSON: God! Back inside the ring Jason has Kyle backed against a turnbuckle and is pounding away at him. Jason climbs up to the second turnbuckle so he can get in stiffer shots when Roberts low blows him! Kyle hooks him and nails a modified powerbomb from the second turnbuckle onto Jason! Jason somehow kicks out at two! Predator pulls himself into the ring and approaches Kyle. Kyle is grabbed by the hair and yanked to his feet, but not before slipping something out of his boot! Powder to the face of Predator! Kyle hooks him and nails his Emerald Fusion! ... ONLY A TWO COUNT?! Kyle looks stunned! EVERYBODY is stunned! As Predator struggles to get up Kyle gets a run --- baseball slides knocks JASON out of the ring. Kyle grabs that metal chair... and smacks it across the face of Predator! AGAIN, Roberts hits an Emerald Fusion! The crowd hopes against hope that Predator can kick out, but this time it's one, two, three! FRANK WARBURTON: Here are YOUR WINNERS... the NEW & IMPROVED D-X! JACK JONES: It's over baby! The Man With The Blood On His Hands just put that monster back in his box! BILL HEWSON: I'm shocked Predator kicked out of the Emerald Fusion. Kyle Roberts is a sick, sadistic human being. I'm being told we're going to take a commercial break. When we return, the tag team titles will be on the line! Kyle collects a still dazed Bruce Richards and the two men leave the ringside area. JASON is on his feet outside the ring, craning his neck down the aisle as Predator begins to stir.
JACK JONES: What kind of name is that for a tag team, Hewson? It's like Kryenik and Cartwright aren't being serious! BILL HEWSON: There's a time and place for fun, Jack, and the Bi-Polar Express want to do just that. JACK JONES: Well, Hewson, they're going to have to get through the Celtic Assassins first! BILL HEWSON: The Bi-Polar Express is a team that's never actually teamed up on television before! And they're going up against the not-to-be-taken-lightly Al Thoes and Bobby O'Brady! Ashley MacIsaac's "Devil in the Kitchen" starts up, as the Celtic Assassins enter through the curtain, with Bayman Jakey! FRANK WARBURTON: The NEXT MATCH is the NAPW TAG! TEAM! TITLE MATCH! Entering first, at a combined weight of five hundred and SIXTY FIVE POUNDS! Bobby O'Brady! Al Thoes! From the British Isles, now residing in St. John's, Newfoundland! The CELLTIIIIC AAAASSASSIIIINNNNSSS! The crowd boos the nFa as the Newfoundlanders walk down the aisle. Thoes threatens a few fans, as O'Brady stares ahead, focused on the ring. The music cuts to Alice in Chains as the crowd erupts. The newly formed tag team of Evan Cartwright, a belt on each shoulder, and Billy Kryenik, who's polishing his belt with his knuckles, enter to a huge cheer. Old Man Flair is right behind them, but Evan puts his hand on the lookalike's chest, whispers in his ear, and Flair returns to the backstage area, WHOOOOOing and thrusting all the way. FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents, the TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! Weighing in at four hundred and sixty three pounds... SICK BILLY KRYENNNNNNIK...and EVANNNNN...CARTWRIIIIIIIIIGHT! Al Thoes looks at Cartwright, points at the Tag title on his shoulder, and pantomimes wearing it around his waist. Cartwright smirks and just shakes his head. The Celtic Assassins get right up in the champions' faces, trying to psyche them out. But Kryenik and Cartwright return their steely gaze, not backing down. Morgan Smythe gets in between the two teams, running down the rules. She sends the teams to their corners. It looks like Kryenik and O'Brady will each be representing their respective teams. And they lock up! O'Brady has the weight advantage, and manages to get enough momentum to pick Kryenik up and a body slam onto the mat! Thoes cheers from his corner: "Thattaboy, Bobby! Show them who's boss!" O'Brady drops a knee on the chest of Kryenik. And again! O'Brady looks focused here, and he's got one thing on his mind - winning those tag team belts. Bobby picks up Billy by the hair, and whips him to the ropes. O'Brady lowers his torso, intending to back drop, but Kryenik rolls over his back. German suplex! O'Brady's on the mat! Kryenik rolls O'Brady over, sits on his back, and a Cobra Clutch wrenches the Irishman's back! O'Brady winces as Kryenik torques his back! BILL HEWSON: Good strategy by the smaller man here. Bobby O'Brady can't do a lot of moves with an injured back! Kryenik releases the hold as Al Thoes barrels into the ring to pull him off the Celtic Assassin. Thoes with the Irish Whip! Kryenik ducks the clothesline attempt but OH! Bobby O'Brady lying in wait with a PUNISHING clothesline! And Morgan Smythe gets Thoes back to his corner a little too late, as Kryenik's thrashing on the mat. O'Brady with a sick grin, as he locks his arms around the head of Billy. And knees to the head of Billy! And O'Brady's not relenting here! Evan tries to help his partner, but it warned by Smythe to stay in his corner. As Smythe's admonishing Cartwright, Thoes comes in the ring, and slaps his hands together, faking a tag. Hard rights and lefts from Thoes, as Morgan Smythe makes sure O'Brady tagged out. Al takes a groggy Kryenik and picks him up for a powerbomb! But Kryenik REVERSES IT WITH A HURACANRANA! JACK JONES: HOLY CRAP! DID YOU JUST SEE THAT? BILL HEWSON: A HUGE reversal by Billy Kryenik! I didn't know the guy could move like that! Now all he has to do is tag in Evan Cartwright! JACK JONES: This here's where you find out how well the two men gel as a team! Tonight's the first time they've ever teamed together on television! And it's the biggest night of their lives! Thoes is on the ground, as Billy Kryenik rests up a bit. But Sick Billy scoots over to his corner and tags in Cartwright! Cartwright jumps in hitting the ground running. Thoes is up, but is PUT DOWN by a Japanese Arm Drag! Cartwright roars as the crowd cheers! Cartwright with a spinning elbow to the gut of Al Thoes! And Al Thoes is winded as Cartwright winds up for one of his punishing Roaring Elbows. But Thoes reaches out and a SPINEBUSTER! WITH AUTHORITY! Cartwright's in pain as Thoes tags in Bobby O'Brady. Thoes props Cartwright up, and both Celts hook Evan's head. DOUBLE DDT! And Bobby O'Brady's grinning for all he's worth, as Bayman Jakey is jumping around in celebration on the outside! O'Brady covers Evan Cartwright, and Smythe counts a One! A Two! Evan's shoulder is up forcefully, as O'Brady's mouth drops. O'Brady picks up Evan, but Evan breaks out with an elbow to the gut. O'Brady's bent over and Cartwright capitalizes with a swinging neckbreaker. BILL HEWSON: Cartwright's getting momentum, here, Jack. JACK JONES: Feh. He's in there with a man who's virtually Goliath! There's TWO Goliaths in the Celtic Assassins! You want a Jack Jones special prediction? The Celtic Assassins walk away with the gold tonight! BILL HEWSON: Didn't you predict the Red Wings over the Oilers in five games? JAC JONES: Fine, here's a prediction especially for you, Hewson: My fist in your face! As Bill and Jack bicker, Cartwright's got the upper hand on Bobby O'Brady. ROARING ELBOWAAHHHH connects, Cartwright goes for the suplex, blocked by the foot of O'Brady. Evan tries again! And is blocked. Once more for Evan. No, it LOOKED like a suplex attempt, but Cartwright throw out his legs for a Jaw Jammer! O'Brady's reeling! Bobby hits the ropes, and Cartwright runs against the other ropes, and hits a splash onto O'Brady from one side of the ring to the other! They both fly over the top rope, only to land in the second ring!ÊÊSmythe stops Al Thoes from going to help his partner. As it is, Bobby O'Brady is the first one up, but Cartwright nails him. Into the corner, Evan charges --- nobody home! And Evan Cartwright flies SHOULDER FIRST into the STEEL ring post! JACK JONES: That's all the opening the Celtic Assassins need! One mistake by Evan Cartwright... and O'Brady is going right for that shoulder! O'Brady picks up the Provincial champion on his shoulders and starts stretching Cartwright! A torture rack! Evan screams as Kryenik looks on from his corner helplessly. Smythe starts counting, since, technically, they're out of the ring where the match is taking place. For almost the entire ten count, O'Brady wrenches the smaller man'. At eight, O'Brady throws Cartwright shoulder-first into the proper ring and climbs over the ropes to continue the punishment. O'Brady tags Thoes in. Thoes picks up Cartwright! He hoists him up and hits a POWER shoulderbreaker! The cover! One! Two NO! Cartwright kicks out! Thoes flips Cartwright over and a devastating chin lock! Kryenik can't help but look on as Cartwright screams in pain! BILL HEWSON: The Celtic Assassins are just LAYING IN to Cartwright! C'mon! The man's supposed to defend his Provincial Title against Lloyd Rees, the Lemondrop Kid, immediately after this match! And you've got to wonder what kind of shape Cartwright's going to be in! JACK JONES: Let's be fair, Hewson. Lloyd Rees is in the exact same position, going from his Provincial Title match straight into the Complete Control War Games match! He's going up against FOUR MEN in that cage! Kryenik gets the fans chanting "Let's go, Cartwright! Let's go Cartwright!" Bobby O'Brady, on the other side of the ring, claps his hands over his ears to block out the encouragement. O'Brady steps into the ring, and Kryenik can't handle it anymore! He runs into help his partner out, only to be herded back into his corner by Morgan Smythe! That's all O'Brady needs to kick Cartwright IN THE FACE! Oh, that's GOTTA hurt! The Assassins fake ANOTHER tag! As Thoes leaves the ring, O'Brady JUMPS on Cartwright's shoulder with a double stomp. And then ANOTHER one. That could kill a man! BILL HEWSON: Bobby O'Brady really showing a mean streak here! JACK JONES: Whatever gets him the tag team titles, Hewson! Although a two hundred and seventy-five pound man jumping on the small of your back can't be a good thing! O'Brady picks up Cartwright over his shoulder, and runs at the far corner turnbuckle. Cartwright's back takes the brunt of the impact, and O'Brady with the running powerslam --- no, a SHOULDERBREAKER in the center of the ring. Al Thoes: "Och, pin the wee lad, Bobby! We've got it all done here!" O'Brady nods and hooks the leg. Smythe with the one! Two! Th-NO! Cartwright is kicking out again! Unbelieveable! At least to Bobby O'Brady! The man is furious! Cartwright is inching his way over to Kryenik! O'Brady tags Thoes! Thoes rushes to the other side of the ring and knocks Kryenik off the apron! There goes Cartwright's opportunity to tag, something he's desperately needing here! Thoes picks up Cartwright... and applies a cross-face chicken-wing? But he's not worried about the neck, he's trying to rip Evan's shoulder out of it's socket! Kryenik gets back to his corner and attempts to jump in, retaliating against the Scotsman, but Morgan Smythe is NOT allowing it! JACK JONES: Come on, Sick Billy! Your garbage style isn't going to get this match won for you! You wanted to be a tag champ? Starts learning how to be a proper tag champ! BILL HEWSON: I think he's doing a capable job, Jack! JACK JONES: You would. Cartwright is still trying to crawl to his corner. Kryenik settles down enough to get his hand in to the ring. But Thoes grabs Cartwright's leg, stopping any momentum. The big man starts laughing. Cartwright's up, hopping on the one leg he's got free. Thoes tells him to tag his partner in. Cartwright reaches out, but is pulled back by Thoes. Thoes is thinking this is some sort of game. But Cartwright lashes out and Al Thoes falls like a tree once the mighty ensiguri connects with his temple. Thoes drops, and Cartwright jumps! HE DID IT! A TAG TO KRYENIK! Sick Billy hits the ring running, punching O'Brady on his side of the ring, and immediately goes after Al Thoes! Right hook! Left hook! Right! Left! Thoes is groggy again! Kryenik whips Thoes into the turnbuckle with such force Thoes come right back into a SUPERKICK! It's the Kiss of Babylon! Thoes drops! And now O'Brady, the illegal man is in the ring! Cartwright with the leg sweep drops Bobby to the floor, as Kryenik drops a boot onto the head of O'Brady. It's chaos in the middle of the ring! All four men are in there, and Morgan Smythe, NAPW junior referee, seems to be letting it happen! JACK JONES: Oh, come ON, ref! What are you doing? BILL HEWSON: It's like the Stanley Cup Playoffs, Jack Attack! A whole new ball game at Complete Control! Evan Cartwright climbs the turnbuckle! He flies over Al Thoes' head! Diamond Dust onto the mat! Bobby O'Brady has got Billy Kryenik into the turnbuckle and is dishing out some stiff shots! Thoes with a powerslam out of nowhere on a running Cartwright! Cartwright's down! The Celtic Assassins both start laying into Kryenik! They're trying to toss Kryenik over the ropes! Cartwright runs at the three of them, and a splash on the big men takes the ALL tumbling over the top rope onto the floor! They're splayed everywhere as Morgan Smythe starts the count for the two legal men, Kryenik and Al Thoes. The Celtic Assassins are moving. Barely. Bayman Jakey shakes his head, and wants to take matters into his own hands. He goes to the timekeeper, and roughly pushes the man out of his chair. Thoes is up, Cartwright's on his two feet with some help from the guardrail. O'Brady's pulling up Kryenik by the hair, and they're groggily throwing weak punches. Four! Five! Thoes takes Cartwright over past the second ring, and Morgan starts following them, telling the Scotsman to keep it inside the ring. Bayman Jakey tells O'Brady to hold Kryenik! O'Brady goes so, and Bayman Jakey winds up with the chair. "I'll knock your head clear into the Pacific, b'y!" A HUGE swing of the chair! Seven! And it collides into the face! Of Bobby O'Brady! My god! Kryenik dropped JUST IN TIME, but Bayman Jakey just CLOBBERED Bobby O'Brady with a steel chair. "Noooo! My bad, b'y! What has I done?" Al Thoes hits Cartwright with a meaty fist, notices Smythe counting at eight, and runs towards the main ring!. Kryenik throws Bayman Jakey into the guardrail and steps back into the ring, with a knocked out Bobby O'Brady on the outside! Nine! Al Thoes knows he needs to get back into the ring, and does so just in the nick of time! But all he sees is a seething Sick Billy Kryenik! Lockup! Irish Whip by Kryenik to the ropes, and Al Thoes ducks! Cartwright scoots into the ring. Thoes hits the other side of the ropes and runs back for a clothesline, but Evan Cartwright ambushes him ---- ROARRRRRING ELBOWAAHHHH! Al Thoes stops suddenly, bent over in pain! This is all Sick Billy needs! Cartwright slides out of the ring, as Sick Billy hooks the shoulders of the big man! He gets him up! DRY LAKE! DRY LAKE! Billy with the cover! One! Two! Jakey screams at an unconscious O'Brady to get up! THREE! Sick Billy Kryenik has got the pin here, as the Bi-Polar Express successfully defends their tag team titles! FRANK WARBURTON: And your winners, and STILLLLLLL Tag Team Champions! Sick Billy Kryenik! Evan Cartwright! The Biii-Polar Expresssss! BILL HEWSON: A hell of a match, and in the end the champions retain their titles! JACK JONES: We'll see if Evan Cartwright can get that lucky twice in one night, because he has to defend his Provincial Championship right here, right now! BILL HEWSON: We're going to have to take a quick commercial break while the next match is introduced but-- Billy Kryenik slides out of the ring as Evan Cartwright hands his tag belt right back to Morgan Smythe in preparation for his next match. The Provincial Champion looks weary, as can only be expected, weaving on his feet as he looks towards the entrance for Lloyd Rees, after a brief glance to the belts hanging above ring one. The ~nFa~ are still down by the ring as well, but Bayman Jakey seems occupied with trying to get the Celtic Assassins back on their feet. Evan Cartwright shakes his head clearing the cobwebs as the adrenaline of the tag match begins to fade... DOUBLE SLEDGE! Lloyd Rees slides into the ring from behind, having just run out of the crowd, and bashes both fists into the back of Evan Cartwright's neck. No introductions, no meeting with the ref, both men are in the ring and Morgan Smythe calls for the bell to start the match, and Rees is already kicking the downed Cartwright in his damaged shoulder, rolling him under the ropes into ring two. BILL HEWSON: Lloyd Rees with the sneak attack on a battered Evan Cartwright! This match is underway, but we have to go to commercial. Stick with us folks, we'll be right back!
JACK JONES: Jakey knows that his "b'y" Rees can handle business out here alone since that sneaky Sick Billy went to the back, and he is going to prepare for the War Games match. BILL HEWSON: Evan Cartwright looks to be really favoring that shoulder, and you can be sure that Lloyd Rees is going to take advantage. JACK JONES: That is solid ring strategy; you can't blame a man for looking for the upper hand! On paper these two guys are very evenly matched, but taking that kind of opportunity is what makes Lloyd Rees great. Inside ring two, Lloyd Rees and Evan Cartwright slowly circle each other. Cartwright makes the first move, coming in low and making a grab for Rees' ankle with his left hand. Rees dances back out of the way of the attempt, then comes back in quickly and initiates the tie-up. Rees backs Cartwright towards the corner, but Evan twists and reverses position, pushing the Lemondrop Kid's back into the turnbuckles. Cartwright leans in on Rees, but Lloyd adjusts his weight and twists his left arm sharply down, wrenching Evan's right shoulder. The pain causes Evan to stagger briefly, and that is all Lloyd needs. Breaking out of the tie-up, Rees grabs Evan's wright wrist with both hands and steps out of the corner. Rees yanks Cartwright in and slams his own shoulder into Evan's injured oneÉ once, twice, three serious impacts before Cartwright collapses to his back. Still holding the arm, Rees steps over and drops a quick leg across Cartwright's shoulder, then twists on the mat into a cross armbreaker. Evan Cartwright pounds the mat in at the sudden pain, not having to worry about accidentally tapping out in this ladder match. Lloyd arches his back off the mat, hyper-extending the elbow while pulling hard at the shoulder joint, and Cartwright roars in agony. Rees lets his back touch the mat again as he prepares for another sadistic pull and Cartwright takes the opportunity to roll towards his opponent. Cartwright gets his knees under him and drives a forearm into the surprised Rees' face, followed by another, dazing the Newfie. Evan Cartwright guts out the pain, standing up with Lloyd's legs still wrapped around his right arm. With his free left hand, Evan grabs Rees by the back of the neck and then stands up straight with a titanic effort, lifting the Lemondrop Kid off the mat for a modified powerbomb! Rees suddenly flips backwards in mid-air, executing a hurricarana, his legs yanking Cartwright over by the arm instead of the neck! Cartwright rolls all the way to the edge of ring two and under the ropes back into ring one before coming to a stop, holding his shoulder with his left hand. BILL HEWSON: What a counter from Lloyd Rees, keeping the champion from getting the upper hand! JACK JONES: A good competitor keeps his advantage as long as he possibly can, and a Lloyd Rees is a great competitor! Rees rolls out of ring two and flips up the apron to reveal the instrument that this match takes its name from: the ladder! Rees slides the ladder out from under the ring and then pushes it into ring one. Lloyd Rees works quickly, getting into ring one and setting up the ladder beneath the two hanging titles. Rees begins to climb, while behind him, Cartwright slowly gets back to his feet. Rees reaches the top of the ladder quickly and reaches up a straining hand for the Republic of Newfoundland Championship belt. He is almost there, his fingers brushing against the hanging golden plate, just a half inch furtherÉ Evan Cartwright grabs both of Lloyd's feet and yanks down sharply, to no small amount of pain through his own right arm. Lloyd drops quickly, his face banging against the top of the ladder loudly before he tips over backwards and falls to the mat. The ladder falls slowly over sideways, and Evan Cartwright is on him like white on rice, exclusively using his left hand, but raining down straight closed-fist jabs with it that do enough damage to make up for his injured arm. Rees tries to cover up, but Cartwright is a blaze of fury, slamming his fist into any vulnerable area he can see. Morgan Smythe tries to intervene, but there are no rules for her to throw at Cartwright in this match. Evan Cartwright hauls Rees up by the hair and drags him closer to the center of the ring before Irish whipping him into the ropes. Evan runs to the ropes between ring one and ring two as Rees comes back, timing it perfectly as he leaps and springs back to plant an Asai dropkick right in Rees' mush. Rees and Cartwright both come back to their feet and Cartwright catches Rees with a Japanese armdragÉ ONTO THE LADDER! Rees bounces to a sitting position, his back arched out, both hands going to where the steel cracked across his lower back, eyes wide at the sudden pain. Cartwright doesn't give him a chance to recover, leaping over the fallen ladder to deliver a somersault necksnap ala Mr. Perfect. Rees snaps backwards from the move, the back of his head slamming into the ladder this time. BILL HEWSON: And just like that, the Provincial Champion is right back in this match! JACK JONES: We'll see how long that lasts! The ~nFa~ is walking out of this one with the Republic of Newfoundland belt once again, you have my word on that! Cartwright grabs Rees by the hair again, but Lloyd surges up to his feet, spinning under Cartwright's arm and shooting his own up in a European uppercut that lands in Evan's right armpit, giving his shoulder a nasty jerk. Rees capitalizes quickly with an arm wringer, then lifts Cartwright's elbow and snaps it down, driving him into the mat and badly wrenching his shoulder again. Cartwright doesn't yell out this time, but he looks almost nauseous with the pain as he crawls away from Rees towards ring two. For his part, Rees takes a moment to recover himself, stumbling backwards towards the ropes across from ring two. The Lemondrop Kid holds the back of his head with both hands, trying to clear away the fog after the impact against the ladder. Cartwright slowly climbs up to his feet without using his right arm, leaning against the ropes heavily with his left. Rees' eyes clear and he sees a perfect target. Running across the ring, the Lemondrop Kid launches himself into the air for a crossbody block on the dazed champion but Cartwright ducks out of the way! Rees sails over him and comes crashing down into ring two! Evan Cartwright takes a deep breath to steel himself, then grabs the top rope with his right hand alongside his left and leaps off the mat, pulling himself up and over to land with his feet on the top. Cartwright jumps from the ring one ropes to the parallel ring two ropes, then springs high into the air and lands on the back of the downed Lloyd's head with a legdrop! Cartwright rolls slowly towards the apron and then drops to the outside. Rees looks to be out of it for the moment, managing only to roll over onto his back and stare up at the dazzling lights on the ceiling. BILL HEWSON: What a move from our Provincial Champion, using both of the rings to his advantage! JACK JONES: If you ask me, that was more showy than effective! BILL HEWSON: How about we ask Lloyd Rees what he thinks? What is Cartwright doing now? He's going for a second ladder! JACK JONES: That seems a bit excessive! Cartwright has indeed found a second ladder, and slid it into ring two where Rees is just now getting back to a vertical base. Cartwright puts a stop to that, taking up the ladder and plowing it into the midsection of the Lemondrop Kid. Rees drops to his knees, and Cartwright spins around, slamming the ladder into the back of his skull with a sickening crack. Lloyd sprawls out on the mat and Cartwright slowly walks over to the corner, propping the ladder up there without unfolding it. Evan Cartwright stalks back across the ring towards Rees and yanks him up off the mat. Irish whip across the ring and Lloyd meets the ladder in a head on collision. Rees staggers backwards ready to drop, but Cartwright runs to meet him. Without even slowing, Evan Cartwright grabs Rees by the head and runs straight up the ladder. Flashbulbs pop as Cartwright seems to hang upside-down in the air for a frozen second before crashing back down to the mat with a picture-perfect Diamond Dust. Cartwright looks like he might have done himself more harm than good on that, rolling towards the ropes holding his shoulder again. The right shoulder is visibly bruised and swelling now, and Morgan Smythe is giving it a worried look. Evan Cartwright may not be able to even continue the match if it goes on much longer, no matter how much dazzling offense he can pull off. Still, Evan is the first back to his feet, Lloyd barely managing to get his knees under him after that crushing Diamond Dust. Cartwright hooks in a front facelock with his left arm, helping Rees back up to his feet. The pain is obvious all the time on Cartwright's face now, and he strains mightily to lift Rees off the mat with just his left arm, getting Lloyd up high enough to drop him back down stomach first across the top rope near the corner. Rees hangs there like drying laundry as Cartwright goes out to the apron by the turnbuckle and the looming second ladder. BILL HEWSON: What could Cartwright be thinking right here? Whatever it is, you can be sure that it is going to make Lloyd's medical insurers wince. JACK JONES: Evan Cartwright needs to be stopped. The people here didn't come to see this kind of wanton violence; they came to see a wrestling match! BILL HEWSON: We're done with Pure Honor for the night, Jack! They want to see a ladder match! The crowd agrees with Bill Hewson as they cheer on Cartwright, who reaches up and grabs one side of the ladder from the outside with both hands. Cartwright jumps back still holding the ladder, down to the floor. The other end shoots straight up in the air as Cartwright falls and catches Lloyd Rees in the face hard enough to shoot him off the ropes to crash into the restraining barrier on the outside. Cartwright falls as well, the sudden stop sending a river of pain through his right arm. Both men are down, and it is a good thing that there is no ten count, or this match would be over with a draw. Amazingly, it looks like Rees is actually going to be up on his feet first this time, as he grabs the barrier with both hands and gets up on pure instinct. He almost falls right back down, but instead stumbles backwards and catches himself on the ring apron by the steps. Evan Cartwright, eyes glassy from the throbbing pain in his shoulder, is up soon after, and sees the vulnerable Lloyd just a few meters away. Cartwright charges at his foe, and at the last possible second Rees reaches up to grab the middle rope and hauls both of his feet off the floor to avoid the diving Cartwright! Evan crashes shoulder-first into the steel steps, sending them flying and himself rolling across the floor. Rees lets himself back down to the floor with a lopsided smile, giving himself a few more seconds to recover and make sure all of his limbs are working as they should. Cartwright has his face buried in the floor, his knees under him as he tries in vain to fight through this newest injury, his feet drumming out a slow beat on the thin mat covering the concrete. The Lemondrop Kid doesn't give him much time, grabbing Cartwright by the right arm and dragging him back towards ring two. Rees rolls Cartwright inside and slides in after him, a predatory gleam in his eyes. BILL HEWSON: Evan Cartwright may never be the same after this match. I hate to say it, but he has to think of his future, his career, his health! The incredible strain he is putting on that shoulder is just too much! JACK JONES: These guys aren't thinking about the future, Hewson! This is about the Provincial Title! Right here, right now, those two belts hanging over the ring are all that matters! Thinking about anything but the present during a match is a sure way to make sure that you won't have a future in this industry! Rees stretches out Cartwright's arm and drops a knee right onto the shoulder. Rees stands up and then drops the knee again. Cartwright can't bite it back, screaming out at the pain. Lloyd Rees rolls Cartwright onto his stomach and straddles his right arm, sitting and pulling back in a simple but effective submission hold. Cartwright claws at the mat with his left hand, shoving forward with his legs, almost trying to swim across to the ropes between the rings. Rees allows him to, only to laugh when Cartwright reaches out to grab the ropes. With no reason to break the hold, Lloyd Rees just wrenches back harder on the hold and Cartwright cannot do anything but scream in agony. Then Lloyd's eyes land on the ladder still standing in the corner and he releases the hold, though he keeps his grip on the arm. Rees spits out blood through a badly split lip and grins at Evan, "So ya like t'play with ladders, b'y?" Lloyd steps between the ropes into ring one, pulling Cartwright up to his feet slowly, but not into the ring with him. Cartwright is nearly unconscious from the sheer pain in his shoulder as Lloyd pulls his arm over the top rope of ring two and places his wrist right on the top rope of ring one. Heaving down hard, and yanking the middle rope up with his other hand, Rees twists Cartwright's wrist and forearm between the middle and top rope of ring one, trapping them there. Cartwright tries to pull free, but he can't even stand tugging that much on his shoulder. Rees takes his time as the crowd looks on in fascination, walking over to the turnbuckle and climbing up, dragging the still-folded ladder out of ring one to stand sideways on the aprons between the two rings. Rees stands up unsteadily with both feet on the top turnbuckle, holding the ladder upright. BILL HEWSON: NO! NO! Not this! JACK JONES: Lloyd, this is too much! Just climb the ladder, grab the belts! Lloyd Rees, leader of the ~nFa~ jumps from the top turnbuckle, guiding the ladders descent. He lands safely by the ropes in ring one, but the ladderÉ the ladder crashes down across the outstretched arm of Evan Cartwright. Evan's scream pierces every ear in the crowd, and reaches the top of the building. His arm is wrenched free of its prison in the ring ropes by the blow, but the damage has been done. Evan Cartwright hangs limp across the bottom rope of ring two, and Rees stands over him triumphantly. Lloyd Rees turns and goes to pick up the first ladder in the face of a stunned silent crowd. Morgan Smythe is checking on Evan Cartwright, looking back towards the ring entrance and signaling for the medics to come out as Rees sets up the ladder and begins his triumphant climb to the top. Rees takes his time on each rung, secure in his victory, preening in front of this sickened crowd. Then a gasp rushes through the audience followed by mad cheering as Evan Cartwright, amazingly, impossibly, crawls forward, over the bottom rope of ring two and under the bottom rope of ring one. Rees is oblivious to the change in the crowd as he continues his proud ascension. Evan grunts, he sweats, he screws his eyes shut. Blood trickles down from his lips as he bites down hard, using every last inch of willpower to keep moving forward and most importantly, to not scream. Rees poses near the top, spreading his arms wide for the cheers of the crowd and Evan grabs the bottom rung of the ladder. Every inch seems like a mile, every breath its own hell, but he reaches up and pulls, reaches up and pulls. Reaches up andÉ grabs. Lloyd Rees' eyes snap wide open and he looks down in utter disbelief at the man holding on to his boot. BILL HEWSON: That's right, Rees, you bastard! Evan Cartwright is not dead yet! EVAN CARTWRIGHT IS STILL IN THIS MATCH! JACK JONES: IÉ I'm speechless. Cartwright pulls down hard and Rees falls from the ladder, but lands on his feet. Rees is just starting to get his grin back as he stares down at the beaten, broken Provincial Champion when Evan's left arm shoots up and catches him right between the legs. Evan drops his arm and then slams it right back up again. Rees doubles over and Cartwright gets to his knees to grab Lloyd by the hair and slam his face into the side of the ladder again, and again, and again, and again, and AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN! Face meets steel over and over as Evan Cartwright screams out all of his pain before finally releasing Lloyd to fall limp back to the mat. Cartwright looks up at the belts, which may as well be across as ocean for him, and then reaches his left hand out to grab the first rung he can reach. The crowd are on their feet, cheering wildly as Evan Cartwright begins the long journey towards his title. Up one rung and then a pause, a sickening wobble that could be the end of it all, everyone watching holding their breath as one until he regains his balance! Lloyd Rees rolls on the mat, blindly, under the ropes and falls to the floor outside. It is just Evan Cartwright, a ladder, and two shining belts far above. Evan Cartwright continues to climb, right arm hanging useless at his side, his feet and other arm working slowly, methodically, to drag his body onwards and upwards. Sweat pours down his face and chest as he reaches upwardsÉ not close enough! Evan pushes his foot upwards as if through molasses, to the very top rung. He slowly extends himself, standing tall, for a moment the pain forgotten as his hand reaches upwards to grasp what belongs to himÉ CRUNCH! BILL HEWSON: No, damnit! NO! Lloyd Rees is back in the ring with a chair, swinging it in a high arch to connect with Cartwright's back! The explosion of hate from the crowd shakes the building as Cartwright slumps down against the top of the ladder. Rees winds up and swings again, crushing Evan Cartwright's right shoulder between the chair and the ladder. The pain is too much and an unconscious Cartwright slumps sideways from the ladder, hanging in mid-air for a long moment before crashing into the mat. Rees lets the chair fall and begins to climb the ladder. He smiles a bit more at each step, gloating, proud of what he has done. He reaches the top as the crowd tries in vain to cheer Evan back to his feet. Rees reaches up and takes both of the belts down from where they hang. He climbs back down to the mat as the bell rings to end the match. FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of the match, and the NEW NAPW Provincial Champion... "The Lemondrop Kid" LLOYD REES! Medics swarm out to the ring to take care of Evan Cartwright as Lloyd Rees holds his Republic of Newfoundland title high over his head. Evan Cartwright is literally BITING the ring apron, he's in so much intense pain. BILL HEWSON: I don't like how he did it, but there was nothing illegal about it. Evan Cartwright...retaining the tag titles with Sick Billy Kryenik but... dammit, what if Evan had beaten Lloyd with both men fresh, Jones? Wouldn't that have said so much more? JACK JONES: All that Lloyd Rees was worrying about saying... was that he is once again the NAPW Provincial Champion! He has both belts, Bill Hewson! Lloyd Rees holds both the Republic of Newfoundland belt and the Provincial belt up high on the ring, a psychotic, sadistic grin on his face. Evan refuses a stretcher and begins to walk with an assist from Sick Billy and referee John Sharplin as Complete Control goes to a commercial break.
BILL HEWSON: We haven't seen The Crusher in almost two months, since the NFA put him out with an injury! He's looking good, Jack Jones! JACK JONES: Hey, hopefully he used this time off to learn more moves than SPEAR SPEAR SPEAR. The Crusher stands at the top of the ramp, taking in the crowd's cheering. He's wearing a nice casual suit, microphone in the hand. He looks touched by the warm reception of the crowd. THE CRUSHER: Wow...thank you all! It's been a long time since I've been in an NAPW ring, and it feels good to be missed. I'm out here to issue a warning, and a reminder to the Television Champion Don Travelli, and to the NFA, and to anybody else that wants to get in my way! The Crusher is going to be back soon, and anybody in my way... will feel the SPEAR! Enjoy the rest of the show, and I just want to say... Go Static, D!, Ravager and Rex Caliber! BILL HEWSON: Crusher is going to be back soon! That's great news...and bad news if you're the NFA or Don Travelli! We have one more commercial break to take, and when we come back...it will be WAR GAMES!
BILL HEWSON: Ladies and gentlemen, we are just moments away from the War Games main event. It's been a tremendous card so far, and a damn shame that Evan Cartwright isn't leaving here tonight with the Provincial title to go with his tag titles, but you have to give the man credit for quite possibly the greatest single performance we've ever seen in NAPW. JACK JONES: I'll give credit where credit is due, Bill Hewson. Evan Cartwright may have lost the Provincial title tonight, but it he went almost non-stop for forty minutes. But it's Lloyd Rees leaving here tonight with both the Republic and Provincial belts. BILL HEWSON: Certainly the Celtic Assassins did a fine job of softening up Evan Cartwright by focusing on the man's injured shoulder. Nonetheless, it is time for War Games. We were informed during the commercial break that it was indeed Devatastation's team that won the coin toss. Jack Jones, drop some science on us! JACK JONES: The name is War Games, Bill Hewson, and it will be war! Inside that double steel cage two men will start it off. Every two minutes a man from the next team will enter. By virtue of the coin toss, that means that it will be a member of the Charitable Trust or NFA who will come in. BILL HEWSON: Giving the Trust & NFA the man advantage for two minutes... JACK JONES: The match can't end until all eight men are in the ring, but obviously Devastation's Team is going to use that man advantage to attempt to incapacitate their opposition. The match ends when one man is pinned or made to submit. Once all eight men are in, the door is locked, and the only way out is to end the match. It's going to be violent, it's going to bloody, and it's going to be...WAR, daddy! BILL HEWSON: And without further ado...let's take you to Frank Warburton! FRANK... Dick Kiebiech testing the cage...is inside the double ring! FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is the WAR GAMES main event. Two men will start the contest. After five minutes, another wrestler will enter every two minutes until all eight men are inside the double steel cage, at which point the match can end by single pinfall or submission. And now, introducing the men who will start for their respective teams... The crowd looks anxiously to the entranceway, as the silence is deafening... until Quicksand kicks in. That means only ONE man... and it is the indomitable PIT BOSS who makes his entrance with a sneer on his face. The crowd showers him with boos as the owner of the Golden Standard makes his way to the ring (Sans bodyguards). FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing the first member of Devastation's Demons! Coming down the aisle at six-feet, two inches tall and weighing two-hundred and twenty-three pounds... he is the owner of the Gold Standard casino and hails from Las Vegas, Nevada. Representing the Charitable Trust... THIS! IS! PIIIIIIT BOSSSS! Pit Boss takes the time to grab a rare "In Charity We Trust" from some smart-ass fan and hold it to the camera. "That's who it's all about, kids." Through the door, into the first ring, and Boss is ready to go. Clutch of the cage to test, and then Pit Boss waits. BILL HEWSON: You can see the poise on this man's face. He's arrogant, he's a jerk, but one thing you can't deny is Pit Boss's ability in the ring. To him, it doesn't matter what man steps through that curtain --- it's just another body to abuse. JACK JONES: Arrogance? You mean confidence. So who's the lamb going to the slaughter for the other side? Ooh. Dramatic pause. "Riiiight...before...my... EYES!" BAM! The crowd? Yeah. UNGLUED as the one, the only D! sprints to the ring, slides through the door and before Frank Warburton can make his introduction is trading right hands with Pit Boss! Dingdingdingdingding! D! Right hand! Pit Boss! Right hand! The two men trading right hands in the middle of the first ring! Pit Boss reels backwards as D!, the NAPW's foremost striker, begins to take over... ROUNDHOUSE OF D!OOM! Pit Boss is sent over the top rope and sprawling into the second ring. D! hollers for the crowd and steps through the ropes, giving chase to Pit Boss. Right hand by Pit Boss is blocked, D! kicks the man in the back of the thigh. SNAP. D! with a knife-edge chop, and Pit Boss, wincing in pain, ends up in the corner. D! with a CHOP. WHOOOOO! CHOP! WHOOOOO! CHOP! WHOOOO! D! sprints out.... charges the legs Jericho-style, BABY... STINGER SPLASH! Huge elevation and Pit Boss takes one, two, three steps out and does a Flair-Flop for the ages. BILL HEWSON: And D! has come out of the gate with a vengeance! In any other match he would go for a pinfall right here, but this is not any other match. Careers have been ended inside that double-steel cage. JACK JONES: Well, D! knows he's gotta try to take Pit Boss down early because in about three minutes it's going to be two on one. Good odds for Pit Boss, but that man ALWAYS takes the good odds. D! nails Pit Boss a couple of times in the ribs, and then grabs a leg --- he's going for Pleasant Cycling! Pit Boss can't submit right now, but D! could hurt the man for the rest of the match! He's got the leg, turning the man over... wait a minute, Pit Boss grabbed D!'s other ankle and pulled it out. Pit Boss is standing up, he links his hands and grapevines D!'s legs with them. Out of nowhere Pit Boss has locked on the Texas Cloverleaf! And he's leaning back, putting D! in excruciating pain. D! is thrashing, trying to make the ropes. There's no break when he gets there, though, and Pit Boss smirks as D! holds the ropes in futility. But wait! D! grabs the middle rope with one hand. Now the other. He's attempting to climb up the ropes... he reaches for the top rope, and the leverage is shifted enough that Pit Boss has little choice but to release the now-awkward hold. D! returns to the canvas, but immediately Pit Boss drops backwards and drives the elbow into the small of the man's back. Cry of pain from D! as the clock hits one minute left! Pit Boss grabs D! by the back of the head and rams him face-first into the STEEL cage. D! crashes backwards and Pit Boss extends both hands, making the "money" finger-rubbing gesture prompting a new round of boos. BILL HEWSON: Pit Boss done showboating, now grabs D!...and D! has been busted wide open! That steel cage has claimed it's first victim! JACK JONES: And barely thirty seconds until one of Pit Boss' teammates comes out! D! isn't going to survive past the first ten minutes of this match, Hewson! Pit Boss drives D! down and sits on his back, camel clutch? No! Pit Boss, the bastard, is trying to open D!'s head wound further. RIP. Pit Boss stands up as D! kicks the canvas in pain. Pull-up, Pit Boss with the front face-lock. Could he be going for his patented Brainbuster? He might be, but D! sticks a leg in to block, and then counters with a snap suplex of his own! Mr. Unorthodox Old School... KIPS UP! Pit Boss is up, and D! levels him with a clothesline, sending Boss spilling back into ring number one! D! comes right after him and hooks a front-face lock of his own, back to the cage wall. Suplex to Pit Boss, the man's body hitting the cage before he unceremoniously drops to the ring apron, between the ropes and the cage. Pit Boss looks down for the moment, right as the crowd begins to count down. TEN! NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN! SIX! FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE! D! kicks Pit Boss through the ropes and then turns his attention to the entrance way. JACK JONES: Representing the NFA, it's Bayman Jakey! Former Television Champion! BILL HEWSON: Jakey hasn't had the best night so far, inadvertantly costing the Celtic Assassins their chance at tag team gold. This is his chance to redeem himself against an already bloody D!! Bayman Jakey talks a bit of trash to outside referee John Sharplin, who is on door duty, before stepping in. And D! smashes Jakey, sending him crashing back to the outside through the closed door! D! taking the fight directly to his opponent, doing what he can to avoid the two-on-one. And now he follows Jakey outside! JACK JONES: He can't do that! This match is supposed to take place inside the cage! BILL HEWSON: Well, until all eight men are in the door isn't locked, and Dick Kiebiech seems to be content to let the wrestlers do whatever they feel like. He's only there to count the pinfall or recognize a submission! JACK JONES: That zebra-striped shirt has gone to his head. This is abuse of power, and you know it. BILL HEWSON: Can't say I do, but I do know that D! just sent Jakey face-first into the steel mesh! D! takes Jakey's legs out from under him, sets up, and catapults Jakey face-first into that very mesh. The crowd immediately begins chanting at a rapid staccato pace: "D! D! D! D!". D! grabs Jakey, and the Newfie... is already cut open from the steel cage and bleeding! D! irish whips Jakey hard into the steel guard rail and charges up his feet, HEAD OF STEAM --- Pit Boss slams the door on him! Literally! Boss reached out from the ring and grabbed the all-the-way-open door, yanking it back to 'closed' and nailing the speeding D! right in the face. The back of D!'s head cracks hard on the concrete as Jakey finally comes to life, rolling D! in through the ring. Pit Boss & Bayman Jakey stomp away on D! in the middle of ring one. D! tries to fight back, but Pit Boss only catches him with a belly-to-belly suplex. D! rolls over onto his stomach, obviously in pain. Bayman Jakey takes advantage and grabs D!'s arms, stepping on his back for the Bell Island Back Breaker. D! crying out in pain as Pit Boss leans down and slaps the man in the face! JACK JONES: And this is what it's all about, Bill Hewson, the two-on-one for the team that won the coin toss! By the time all eight men are in this thing D! is going to be a puddle of quivering goo. BILL HEWSON: We all know about D!'s resiliency, his heart, but right now he needs this two minutes to be up and one of his partners to enter the ring! And come on, Pit Boss stomps the back of D!'s head! He does, and um...ouch. Jakey releases the backbreaker and Pit Boss has a couple words for Jakey. He's got a plan of some kind. Bayman Jakey hooks D! from behind, grabbing the man's legs... Paradise Power Bomb! He holds D! up as high as he can while Pit Boss crisply maneuvers beneath D!'s head... GOOD LORD NO! Hangman's Neckbreaker/Reverse Powerbomb combination! D! may be unconscious, his neck may be broken, and suddenly the crowd begins to count down. TEN! NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN! SIX! FIVE! Jakey sits on D!'s back and tries to maul the man's face while pulling up on the back... FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE! "NOT A LOTTA BLING! WHEN YOU DO THE THING! BADA BOOM! BADA BING!" BILL HEWSON: It's STATIC! The Hardcore Luchadore is running to the ring! Static runs in place for a second, throwing up the hands to the crowd, and then rushes the ring! Static hops to the ring apron, and Pit Boss is there to greet him as he gets in the ring. Static dodges, then grabs Pit Boss's neck and drops down to the floor, hot-shotting Boss on the top rope. Static hops back up, then hops onto the top rope and springboard dropkicks halfway across the ring to take out Bayman Jakey! Sharplin closes the door as Static pops up! Pit Boss attacks, Static hits a Jeff Hardy Jawbreaker! Bayman Jakey from behind, irish whip sends Static to the ropes. No! Flying head scissors sends Jakey spilling through the ropes into ring number two. Static takes a look at the prone Jakey, hits the ropes and does a no-hands somersault senton over the top rope onto Jakey in ring two! Crowd pops big time for that as Pit Boss connects with Static from behind. Static fights back, but Pit Boss hits an irish whip, reversed, Pit Boss comes off at a run and Static hoists him up for a stungun? D! IS THERE! D! with a sudden, swift jumping clothesline in a modified Hart Attack! Crimes - Said Real Loud have got the double team mojo shaking, baking, and all kinds of quaking, daddy. D! and Static each grab an opponent, D! has Pit Boss, Jakey is Static's bitch. Into opposite corners, chops! WHOOO! Both men look over their shoulders, and then simaltaneously irish whip the heels at each other. COLLISION. Jakey crashes to the canvas, Pit Boss staggers... so Static dropkicks him in the back of the head, sending Pit Boss careening into the STEEL cage. Static and a bloody D! take two seconds to charge up the crowd, then go back to work. BILL HEWSON: It's all about the fresh man, Jack Jones, and Static has come to fight in this war. Wait a minute, Static's reaching into his tights? What's he got in there? JACK JONES: He's got a SCREWDRIVER? That's not legal! Tell him to get it out of there! BILL HEWSON: Well, I can't! It's no disqualification! We are talking about the Hardcore Luchadore, after all! And Static looks at the crowd, no doubt grinning beneath his mask as he holds up the screwdriver. All Dick Kiebiech can do is ask Static to think twice about using it. Static crouches down and pulls Pit Boss' face up, the ropes against the back of his neck, and first mashes Pit Boss' face into the steel to a pop from the crowd. Then Static holds the screwdriver up, asking "WHADDABOUTIT?" The crowd, well, they're not exactly Pit Boss fans. Static obliges, using the screwdriver on the forehead of Pit Boss! Pit Boss yells in pain (DUH) as Static digs the flat-head into the now-gaping wound. Good Lord, now Pit Boss is bleeding! Three men are bleeding! Meanwhile, D! has Bayman Jakey in the corner and stands on the second turnbuckle. It's the Ten Punch Countalong! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! D! steps off and Jakey steps out, looking punch drunk. Or is that simply drunk? Step, swing, step, swing, CRASH. And it's right then that the crowd begins counting along as the clock winds down on another two minutes. TEN! NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN! SIX! FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE! And... to a huge chorus of boos, the once-again Provincial Champion LLOYD REES, "The Lemondrop Kid", steps through the curtain to "Fighting 59." JACK JONES: What a man is Lloyd Rees, Bill Hewson. He's already been through hell tonight, and even though it's patently unfair, he's out here for another violent match-up. BILL HEWSON: I don't know how fair it was to Evan Cartwright, having to wrestle two matches back to back. At least Lloyd Rees got a break here, although I will agree that he was in one hell of a ladder match --- wait a minute! D! and Static have left the cage! It's a pre-emptive strike on Lloyd Rees! D! Static! Meet Lloyd halfway down the ramp and just start pounding the Provincial Champ from pillar to post! Double irish whip sends Lloyd tumbling down the ramp, ending up in an unside-down heap against the ring apron. D! & Static exchance a quick glance, take a run and BAM! Double low-dropkicks to the face/chest of Rees! They grab the man and send him through the cage door, getting back in. D! goes right for Lloyd Rees, who begs off --- thumb to the eye. Static hits the ropes --- Pit Boss grabs him by the exposed hair, snapping Static down onto the canvas. Lloyd Rees has D!... Gorilla press! Huge strength... into the snow plow! East End Drop connects, and now Lloyd signals to Jakey to come out as the NFA begin to double team D!. Meanwhile, Pit Boss has wedged Static's head between the two rings. He's using the ropes for leverage and jamming his foot in Static's throat. That's gotta be painful. The NFA take D! --- the unorthodox old schooler with a flurry! Elbow, Knee, strikes galore, and D! hits the ropes. Lloyd ducks the clothesline, D! rebounds GOOD LORD! Long Pond Lariat from HELL takes D! down to the canvas, hard! JACK JONES: LONG POND LARIAT, and you can count D! OUTTA this match, Bill Hewson! BILL HEWSON: That was one helluva clothesline Jack Jones. It damned near decapitated D!. He and Static are in trouble here... Pit Boss stomps Static, who is now wedged even further between two rings. Just for fun: Pit Boss baseball slides into Static's exposed abdomen! Meanwhile, D! is hoisted up by the two Newfies... double shoulderbreaker. Lloyd Rees grabs D!... Lance Cove Leglock. Better known as the Texas Cloverleaf. Pit Boss spies Lloyd doing the Cloverleaf, and then...grabs Static from the wedge? SPINEBUSTER! Into...the cloverleaf! Pit Boss & Lloyd Rees locking eyes, perhaps some professional jealousy? Pit Boss doesn't seem all that impressed that Lloyd Rees is using his finisher, but Rees just grins. Mind you, either way D! and Static are paying the price, being locked in dueling Texas Cloverleafs. D! grabs the ropes, trying to counter the way he did earlier. This time Jakey sends a heavy boot into D!'s ribs when he gets to the second rope. Pit Boss sits back on Static as the Newfies stomp away on D!. And here it comes again! TEN! NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN! SIX! FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE! Annnd... BILL HEWSON: D! and Static need this man... and oh ho ho, here comes Mr. Business is Business himself. It's Ravager out for his team! Ravager, unlike his teammates, doesn't sprint to the ring. He adjusts his wrist bands and slowly walks to the ring, cold gaze focused inside the cell. He calmly walks to the cage door. Sharplin swings the door open and Ravager crisply steps to the apron and through the ring ropes. Bayman Jakey is there to meet him with a roundhouse, ducked, LAST RESORT! Lloyd Rees grabs an arm wringer, Ravager reverses --- LAST RESORT! The NFA have been dragon suplexed out of their boots, and now Ravager looks over at Pit Boss, who releases his hold on Static. JACK JONES: I have a bad feeling about this. BILL HEWSON: Ravager and Pit Boss engaged in a classic encounter last week on Monday Night Fights, ruined by Pit Boss and his lackeys. But there's no lackeys, and there's nothing but hard steel cage around these two men this time! Pit Boss and Ravager meet with the ring ropes between them, right hand by Pit Boss, ducked --- Ravager taps him on the shoulder, using Pit's momentum to spin him around... there's the full nelson! Ravager with the Dragon Suplex from ring two to ring one, Pit Boss fights out, back elbow to Ravager's face. Pit Boss grabs Ravager and yanks him forward, Hangman's Neckbreaker off the top rope! No, Ravager puts his feet on the top rope and shoves forward, landing right behind Pit Boss...LINK! LAST RESORT-UH! Pit Boss's legs bounce off the ring ropes, as Ravager was too close, and now he's done. Ravager brushes his hands off with a cold smirk. "Business is business," he says. D! and Static are each up, Ravager having given them time to do some recuperation. Jakey & Lloyd are picking themselves up by the ring ropes as Ravager nods at both of them. D! rolls his eyes at "Bob's" coldness while Static & Ravager begin stomping down the NFA. Static hauls Jakey to his feet, irish whip right into a roundhouse from D!, dropping Jakey. Ravager has Lloyd Rees, what the heck is he doing here? He's got Lloyd belly first on the ground, with Lloyd's face resting on the bottom turnbuckle. Ravager with a few steps distance... STOMP. JACK JONES: Oh my God, Ravager's trying to murder Lloyd Rees! I haven't seen a move that sickening since you tried to pick up my sister last May, Hewson! BILL HEWSON: ... will you be serious? Lloyd Rees in serious pain after Ravager, well, for lack of a better term 'curb-stomped' Lloyd's face on that bottom turnbuckle. The man is a HITMAN, after all. JACK JONES: And these sick fans, they cheer that kind of man! They cheer blood and guts wrestlers like SICK BILLY KRYENIK...and BOO men of good character like the Charitable Trust? What kind of world do we live in? BILL HEWSON: That a man gets shot for eating kids and women? JACK JONES: ...WHAT? BILL HEWSON: Nothing. That was for you, Timmah. Lloyd Rees is now spouting red blood, but not from the curbstomp. That was bad enough, but Ravager found Static's screwdriver and decided to put it to good use. But here's the countdown! TEN! NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN! SIX! Pit Boss is back up and blindsides Ravager! FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE! JACK JONES: And there can be no question as to what man this will be. It IS the Heavyweight Champion, the Vicious Phenom, The Hybrid Icon... DEVASTATION! The NAPW Champion makes his way out, the title belt on his shoulder. He strides to the ring at a fast clip, not running but not taking his time. He hands off the title belt to the timekeeper. Flex, neck roll, and the six-eight Devastation steps OVER the top rope into the ring. Static is there to meet him, but Devastation absorbs the right hands and levels the Hardcore Luchadore. Pit Boss irish whips Ravager INTO A LARIATOOOO. Ravager goes down, and that leaves D! (who is busy beating up poor Bayman Jakey) all alone. D! turns around, he's got the fresh Devastation on one side and the eager for more, bloody Pit Boss on the other side. Static's back up! Static whips Devastation around, dropkick staggers Devastation, but he doesn't go down. Spinning heel kick --- but Devastation catches Static and then hits a variant release suplex sending Static flying. Back to the tableau... but Devastation and Pit Boss aren't advancing on D!. As a matter of fact, they're ... they're SMILING? D! looks confused, as Devastation clearly, calmly begins to speak to D!. BILL HEWSON: What in the ... what is Devastation saying? Is he asking D! to make a choice? What in the WORLD is going on here? JACK JONES: I think the real question is, will D! finally make the right choice? BILL HEWSON: We all know Longshot attempted to butter D! up this past week, doing all sorts of expensive things for D!, including helping D! meet Wayne Gretzky, the Great One himself... but he couldn't! D! couldn't possibly be siding with the Charitable Trust! Ravager tries to make an attack, but Pit Boss nails his leg out from underneath him and then takes Ravager down with a sitting arm bar. Devastation waves his hand over Ravager, over Static and clearly says "D!...you're better than these two losers, and you know it. You deserve better. We can give you better." D! shakes his furious, no, but Devastation never loses his implacable grin. Pit Boss is wearing a grin as well, but it's a sadistic one as he wrenches back on Ravager's arm and grins, white teeth through a bloody face. The crowd begins to get anxious, wondering what's going on... and then the NFA nail D! from behind! Devastation audibly swears at the NFA, but Lloyd & Jakey clothesline D! over the ropes to the second ring. Jakey follows him through and lays the boots while Lloyd gets in Devastation's face. The Provincial Champion is telling Devastation (in angry, near-unintelligble Newfese) that he's taking care of business, b'y. Devastation's eyes widen in fury, but just as suddenly he relaxes and shrugs, turning his attention to the rising Static. Gorilla press... Good God no! Devastation spikes Static like a lawn dart into the side of the cell! And the Hardcore Luchadore's exposed forehead (for his mask, duh, is like a half-mask on the lower face) starts gushing red blood. Devastatin smirks, calmly picking Static up... Double-Underhook Powerbomb! And Static goes limp on the canvas. Ravager counter wrestles Pit Boss, but Pit Boss goes with a rake of the eyes to regain control on the canvas. Devastation comes over, Pit Boss lets him go, and Devastation grabs Ravager... Double-Underhook Powerbomb! The NFA have D! in the other ring... Devastation steps over the top rope! TEN! NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN! Devastation hauls D! up! SIX! FIVE! FOUR! THREE! THE BURNING HAMMER! TWO! ONE! Annnnnnd... You think you've heard pop? You ain't heard nothing. Because REX CALIBER storms through that curtain, runs down that aisle, gets in that door, and begins to destroy anything that MOVES. The 245 lb shithammer is on fire! Pit Boss gets suplexed! Lloyd Rees gets suplexed! Jakey gets suplexed! T-Bones, Belly-to-Bellies, every kind! Another suplex sends Lloyd Rees spinning through the door before Sharplin can get it locked! HIGH-CRADLE SUPLEX TO BAYMAN JAKEY! Pit Boss wraps Rex Caliber, going for a German Suplex, standing switch sees Rex take control, and hit a BIG release German suplex of his own. And then... BILL HEWSON: And here it is! Rex Caliber wants a piece of the man who took his title last week! Rex Caliber! Devastation! This is fit to explode! JACK JONES: WHAT? BILL HEWSON: I said this is FIT TO EXPLODE! JACK JONES: ...I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE HUMANOIDS! DID YOU SAY IT'S HIP TO LICK TOADS? CALIBER. DEVASTATION. CALIBER. DEVASTATION. And Rex Caliber THROWS DOWN THE GAUNTLET. They meet in the center of the second ring, exchanging STIFF right hands. Just BRUTAL shots, and then Devastation grabs Rex Caliber by the sides of the head and forces him into the corner. Big shot to Caliber's eyebrow by Devastation --- it's Vader Time, apparently, the level of stiffness Dev is sending Rex's way! But suddenly Caliber with a burst of life, wraps his arms around Devastation's waist and belly to belly suplexes Devastation into the turnbuckle. Then starts unloading his own stiff shots. FOREARM FOREARM FOREARM! Caliber has managed to get Devastation to slump in the corner, his head resting between the second and third turnbuckles. Caliber gets a head of steam and just RUNS DEV OVER with a running knee right to the man's face! Caliber screams for the crowd! They SCREAM back! And...Bayman Jakey from behind on Rex Caliber. Rex cracks his neck and turns around. Jakey grins and offers a handshake. Rex accepts it? And yanks Jakey in close! Belly-to-Belly suplex! Caliber steps over, locking on... The Nexus Cloverleaf. Pit Boss stands up, just exasperated. "THAT'S MY GODDAMN MOVE YOU PISSANTS!" Pit Boss dives *through* the ropes and catches Caliber with a flying forearm, then proceeds to fire away on Caliber. "THAT'S MY DAMNED MOVE! STOP USING MY MOVE, ALL OF YOU!" The crowd suddenly begins to chant "Cloooooooverleaf, Clooooooverleaf", which causes Pit Boss to start screaming "YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTHS! SHUT YOUR STINKING WASHINGTON MOUTHS! I'M PIT BOSS, DAMMIT!" BILL HEWSON: Pit Boss has apparently lost his mind! JACK JONES: Well, if everybody in the match was using your move, wouldn't you? Pit Boss comes at Rex Caliber with bad intentions --- countered... Rex hooks it! RINGS OF REX APPLIED! And he WRENCHES back on the move, pulling Pit Boss' arms nearly out of their sockets. But that leaves him open for Devastation, who's back on his feet --- STATIC WITH A SPRINGBOARD! HURACANRANA --- no, Devastation holds Static up! POWERBOMB...no, here comes Ravager! Ravager clips Devastation's knee! Static rides the man down, firing right hands to the champ's face the whole day. Meanwhile, Lloyd Rees is still on the outside, ignoring John Sharplin's demands to get in the cage so he can lock the door. Either way, Kiebiech is asking Pit Boss if he submits! Pit Boss will not submit! Rex with an insane look on his face, wrenching and tearing Pit Boss! BILL HEWSON: My God, how much can Pit Boss withstand! We've seen men tap out to the Rings countless times! And---wait a minute, Lloyd Rees just grabbed a steel chair! He's put a steel chair into the ring! JACK JONES: And why shouldn't he? STATIC brought a freakin' screwdriver in the ring! A screwdriver! Why did he pick tonight to remind people that he's the *hardcore* luchadore? Sheesh! Lloyd gets in the ring, and finally John Sharplin can close --- and lock the door! Although I would question the logic of leaving ONLY Dick Kiebiech in the ring with eight wrestlers, six of whom are bleeding all over the NAPW's ring canvas. They're not made of money, you know! In any event, Ravager & Static are trying to double-team Devastation, who is back on his feet. What's this? Alley-oop! Ravager sends Static up high to land on Devastation, but Devastation catches Static in mid-air with a HUGE spinebuster! Devastation holds the legs, though? And hammer tosses Static INTO RAVAGER. Meanwhile, Lloyd Rees has entered with a chair, and signals to Jakey (who's picking apart the Burning Hammer'd D!). Jakey holds D!'s arms, Lloyd swings the chair --- D! kicks it in his face! That did not work so well for the Provincial Champion! Lloyd staggers back against the ropes as Devastation follows Ravager back to ring one. D!...spins around and kicks Jakey in the gut! Then he kicks Lloyd in the gut! He spies Devastation, and kicks HIM in the gut! Hold on a second... D! with another kick to Lloyd --- to Jakey --- to Devastation! It's the ROCKETTES KICK OF D!OOM! Third hold-over version! The crowd begins to sing the Can-Can as D! gets the kicks in cadence on all three men! Kiiiick, kick kick kick kick kick kick, and on and on! Finally D! yells to the crowd, and wraps the sleeper around Lloyd. NYQUIL DRIVER. And there's the first cover of the match. Of course, Dick Kiebiech is on the other side of the ring where Rex is STILL wrenching and tearing Pit Boss to bits, but Pit won't submit! D! yells in frustration and gets up, but that's all the time the Heavyweight Champion needed to recover and lower the boom across D!'s back, dropping him to the canvas with one huge right arm. He picks D! up by the black hair, front face lock...holds him up! D!'s feet are touching the roof of the cage as Devastation makes him think about it, makes him think about it, makes him...BRAINBUSTER! D! sits up spastically, then collapses down. Devastation looks for a cover, but Kiebiech is again trying to see if Pit submits. Devastation swears and gets up. Stomp, stomp, stomp and Devastation eats a big boot right in the face. FINALLY breaking the hold. Devastation grabs Kiebiech by the back of the shirt and pretty much throws him into ring one, then covers D!, yelling for Kiebiech to "COUNT." ONE! TWO! Th---D! kicks out! JACK JONES: This match would be over if we had a real referee in here! BILL HEWSON: You're just bitter at Kiebiech because you lost your West Coast championship in a match he refereed. And tapped out. Like a little girl. JACK JONES: I like to think it was more like a fourteen year old, but --- hey! BILL HEWSON: In any event, this match has taken it's toll on all of these men. Six men are bleeding, and right now half of them are down. Wait a minute! What the hell is STATIC doing? Static has finally regained his feet, stumbling a bit. But suddenly he climbs to the turnbuckle...and then grabs the top of the cage? Static is hanging from the roof of the cage and monkeybarring to the middle! He kicks Devastation in the face! He catches Lloyd! Jakey eats one... Lloyd grabs Statics legs, trying to bring him down. Static won't let go, he's wriggling, Lloyd rips him off with a POWERBOMB, Static counters with a huracanrana! Unbelievable! Here comes Bayman Jakey, Static ducks around, grabs him... can he get him up? He can! FUNCRUSHER! Static with a sudden burst of energy goes up top... he's calling for it! MOMENT! OF! CLARITY! Static flies... Good Lord, no! Lloyd Rees sends a dropkick right into the flying Static! And he crashes down, certainly in shocking pain. Lloyd Rees stands up, smirking, and receiving a chorus of boos. He doesn't have long to enjoy it though, as Ravager and Rex Caliber storm across the rings and tear it up. Ravager & Lloyd hook up! Rex Caliber and Devastation go right back to action! D! is on the ring apron, holding the back of his head. Jakey is down. Static is down. Pit Boss ... Pit Boss looks legitimately injured. Kiebiech is checking on him in the break in the action. JACK JONES: I think we have a situation here, Hewson. Kiebiech's calling for Sharplin to open the cage door! BILL HEWSON: I think they're going to try to get Pit Boss out of there. You have to give the man credit, refusing to submit, but Rex Caliber may have done permament damage. The Rings were on for at least four minutes! Unbelievable! Sharplin unlocks the cager door. Ravager tries to hook Lloyd Rees with a DDT, but Lloyd counters with a low blow... and then hits the DDT from the Green! Kiebiech has his arm around Pit Boss, helping him walk to the door. Pit Boss looks out of it, possibly concussed or at least damaged. Devastation flicks a glance of concern to Pit Boss, but he's too busy being assaulted at all sides by Bayman Jakey. Kiebiech and Sharplin try to manuever Pit Boss out of the ring... BILL HEWSON: We said War Games ends careers, and Pit Boss...he's clearly suffered a serious injury... Wait a minute---Lloyd Rees just shoved Kiebiech away and kicked Sharplin in the face! JACK JONES: What in the world is he doing? Hey, Newfie, they're trying to HELP your partner! Lloyd stoops out of the ring and grabs the cage lock and chain from Sharplin, then rolls back in. Lloyd bends down over Pit Boss, screaming at him to get back in and help win this thing. In newfese of course. Meanwhile! Devastation & Rex Caliber... Caliber off the ropes... Devastation with a Black Hole Slam! But he doesn't take advantage, instead going over to where Lloyd Rees is and whipping him around roughly. Lloyd Rees and Devastation jawing now, Devastation asking what the hell Lloyd is thinking. Lloyd grins and says "we all stays in, b'y!" Devastation spies Rex back up out of the corner of his eye and says to Lloyd "You better hope nothing else happens to Pit Boss" and Lloyd says "No sir, no sir!" Devastation turns around... At which point LLOYD REES grabs the steel chair and smashes it into the back of Devastation's head. Devastation staggers, turns around, and this time Lloyd plasters the chair directly across the face of Devastation. Devastation turns around, still not down... into the RUNNING STO by Rex Caliber. And that finally takes Devastation down, and by god, he's busted wide open. Lloyd Rees, with a psychotic smile, then takes a good long look at Bayman Jakey, who's finally on his feet. He slaps him on the back. Jakey takes two steps towards Ravager before Lloyd blasts him in the back of the head with the steel chair. WHAT IN THE WORLD? Ravager takes a chair shot! D! takes a chair shot! And then it's Lloyd Rees and Rex Caliber staring each other down... but Lloyd merely grins and throws the chair down across Devastation's prone form. Lloyd Rees half-falls through the door and begins to take a walk up the top to a huge chorus of boos. Devastation begins to raise himself up, staring after Lloyd through the blood running down his eyes, more furious than he's ever been. And like a shark smelling blood, Rex Caliber is on top of Devastation, cinching his arms back in the Rings. He's got one arm, he can't quite get both... wait a minute! Devastation is pushing up. He's getting to his feet with Rex still on his shoulders... and backdrops him down. Devastation points down the aisle at Lloyd, who is turning and watching with a psychotic smirk. Ravager is up --- Lariat kills him! Static takes a lariat! D! takes a lariat, no! D! ducks, hooks the Nyquil Driver...Devastation backs into the corner. D! staggers out, holding his back, and Devastation hits a spinning spinebuster, driving D! on top of Static. Devastation roars, standing his full height as Lloyd Rees steps through the curtains and is gone from War Games! BILL HEWSON: I am in shock, I can't believe what has just transpired! Lloyd Rees took out his own team with a steel chair, and now he's...he's abandoned them! JACK JONES: He has, but uh... he did one thing you never want to do. He pissed Devastation off. And that's bad news for everybody in the ring with the Vicious Phenom! Devastation steps out of the cage, his rage carrying him. He starts up the aisle, but that's the last thing Rex Caliber wants. Caliber is out of the cage now and he attacks Devastation from behind! Caliber and the champion are fighting up the rampway! But while they tear into one another, in the first ring... Bayman Jakey has regained his feet. On one side...D! On another...Ravager! On another... Static! Jakey looks around, gulping. POW! Jakey pinballs to Static, WHAM! To Ravager, POW! The trio plays pinball with Jakey to the delight of the crowd as Sharplin finally gets Pit Boss out of the ring, calling EMTs down. Jakey walks into Ravager, who perches him on the top turnbuckle. He hooks him... Business is Business muscle buster! Static is on the top rope! MOMENT! OF! CLARITY! No cover, because it's D!'s turn... to hook on Pleasant Cycling, wrenching back! Bayman Jakey holds on for a token but he is quite clearly DONE. He gives up, yelling "I quit b'y I QUIT!" Kiebiech calls for the bell! FRANK WARBURTON: The winners of WAR GAMES... The team... of D! RAVAGER! STATIC! AND REEEEEX CALLIBEERRRRR! BILL HEWSON: They've done it! They have won War Games! What an unbelievable match-up! JACK JONES: That bastard Lloyd Rees! That newfie turncoat!
Security SWARM out to try to separate Rex Caliber & Devastation, who are tearing into one another. But in the ring... Static has left the ring, celebrating up the ramp but quickly joining the fray to help separate the champion and former champion. Meanwhile, in the ring, D! offers Ravager his hand. Ravager stands, staring at D! with his hands on his hips. D! looks at him, exasperated. "If I was going to turn on you, I would've done it already! Geez man!" Ravager...finally accepts the handshake. It's brief and uncivil, as Ravager draws D! in, both men eye to eye. D! leaves the ring. EMTs are coming out for Pit Boss, and on the top of the rampway, it's Devastation & Rex Caliber, fixing to tear into one another til the ends of the earth. BILL HEWSON: This has been Complete Control, and it has been...unprecedented! For Jack Jones, this is Bill Hewson saying GOOD NIGHT! The final scene of complete control? Chaos.
EPIC.
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