MONDAY NIGHT FIGHTS05/21/2006
A... P... W... Flatline. BOOM.
"LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH! The Polish Hall in Edmonton, Alberta... the new home of NAPW MONDAY NIGHT FIGHTS! Over 1200 fans from across Alberta have turned out for another loaded card from New Alberta Pro. But before we even get a chance to cut to Bill Hewson & Jack Jones... The song "Smooth" by Rob Thomas & Carlos Santana hits the PA system and everyone in the arena jumps to their feet to see "The Future" Chris Casino. He emerges from the back dressed in a dark Armani suit and looking every inch GQ. The crowd is all over him with boos and taunts as he casually makes his way to the ring. He passes a young fan at ringside who is holding a home made sign that reads - Chris A$$ino! BILL HEWSON: Look who it is. Who does he think he is, anyways? He attacked his best friend last week, for WHAT? What reason could Chris Casino possibly have to attack Evan Cartwright? JACK JONES: Reason? Look at Casino! He hasn't looked this good in months, Bill Hewson! You could even say The Future is BACK! Chris climbs into the ring, looks around at the angry mob of fans.... And smirks. He walks over to the ring ropes and take a microphone from the ring announcer. As he music dies down, the chants of "(BLEEP)!" ring out loud and clear. Casino simply lets the fans chant it over and over again as he looks almost amused by the situation. Finally he walks to the center of the ring and we're off..... CHRIS CASINO: Where's the love, you dirty Canadians? A storm of boos make Casino laugh. The "(BLEEP)" chant starts up again but Casino plows ahead. CHRIS CASINO: I just don't understand it. How can you people cheer me one week, then turn around and boo me the next? How can you sit there and judge me? What makes you idiots sitting in this arena and at home watching this program think that you're better than I? I am Chris Casino... and by God, I'm The Future of NAPW! Casino walks to the near ropes and leans against them. The fans along ringside look ready to riot at any second. CHRIS CASINO: For the last seven days my phone has been ringing off the hook. Hell, I even had to turn off my cell phone so I could get some sleep at night. Everyone has been asking me the same damn question. Everywhere I go people get in my face and demand some kind of answer for the question that's been on the tip of everyone's tongue for the past week. They all wanna know... how could Rex Caliber get a Heavyweight Title shot over me? I know I'm curious as Hell! How could some potato head get yet another undeserved shot at what should by all right be mine? But you know what? I'm past that. If NAPW wants to watch Devastation beat the Hell out of Rex Caliber in a snooze of a PPV main event then by all means go ahead. Casino moves away from the ring ropes and starts to pace the ring. CHRIS CASINO: Oh yeah...And they want to know about Evan Cartwright. The fans pop huge at the mention of Casino's former partner and friend. CHRIS CASINO: You people are so mislad. You boo me, yet you cheer a man like Cartwright? Let's put it all out there shall we? Let me, pardon the pun, lay all my cards out for you to see. Evan Cartwright is a two faced hypocritical son of a bitch who deserved what he got last week! You don't believe me? Let me take you back to Sole Survivor. Remember that night? It was when myself and Evan won the NAPW Tag Team Championship. We beat maybe the greatest team in Canadian history and what do we get in return? We get to headline Action. Week... after week... after week. Sure I could say I was half of the NAPW Tag Champs. But no one cared. Why? Because no one watches Action! Here I am, half of the reigning Tag Champions and one of the few men to have pushed your golden boy D! to the limit and I'm put on the back burner by this company! I am a former NAPW Heavyweight Champion and the ONLY former champion to NEVER get any kind of rematch. Ever. JACK JONES: Truer words have never been spoken. CHRIS CASINO: But hey, I'm on Action so that should be enough right? No. Not even close. All I wanted was one chance at regaining the Heavyweight Title. NAPW management ignored me and told me that I was to stay on Action for a few more weeks to help ratings. To help ratings? I'm the most gifted athlete in this promotion and they want me to help them with their damn ratings? Fast foreword to April 17th. Earlier that day I told management to either give me what I was owed or The Rat Pack would walk. But turns out, the joke was on me. On April 17th, I walked out of NAPW and gave up my half of the Tag Team Championship. Evan, my best friend. Stayed behind. Evan Cartwright, a man who I trusted above all others, knew that with me gone the spotlight would finally be his. So he stayed. As payment for screwing me, he got to keep his Tag Title AND he even got a shot at the Provincial Championship... which he won. Evan Cartwright made history. All he had to do was kick his best friend to the curb. Chris shakes his head in disgust. The crowd doesn't buy it, however. CHRIS CASINO: As if that wasn't bad enough, Evan replaced me with "Sick" Billy Kryenik! Evan replaced his supposed best friend with some garbage wrestler! Maybe Evan thought that since Billy lucked his way into a win over me in the Canadian Cup that Mr. Kryenik was better than me. Let me tell you in sitting here and you at watching at home, Billy Kryenik can't even compare to me! I can't tell you how horrified I was sitting at home, watching as my best friend picked some fifteen seconds of fame garbage wrestler to take my place! Billy Kryenik, the ONLY reason you have a title is because someone HANDED you one. That, my friend, is fact. Now, you want to talk history? Recently Evan Cartwright won his third Provincial Title - yeah, go ahead and cheer - and made yet another mark in the history books. Not only is he the only wrestler in NAPW to hold two titles at once, he's done it twice! But at Epic on June 5th, I make history myself. At Epic I face off against a man who left his best friend twisting in the wind for the NAPW Provincial Championship. When I win that title, and I will, I'll become the ONLY man in this company to have held the Heavyweight, Tag and Provincial Championships! Casino basks in the boos that rain down on him. He lives for this. CHRIS CASINO: But I can't blame Evan and his selfishness for everything that's gone wrong lately. No. I blame each and every one of you pitiful Canadian fans who cheered me. You made me weak. I did what no man should, I feel in love with the sounds of the fans approval. On April 17th not only did I lose my best friend, my championship and my job. I almost lost my career. Kyle Roberts of all people basically kicked my ass and sent me to the hospital. Why? Because I was weak. Because you fans made me weak. It was from that hospital bed in Calgary that I had to watch as Billy Kryenik took my place in The Rat Pack. It was from that bed that I had to watch Evan Cartwright hog the spotlight. It was in that bed that I had an epiphany. It wasn't Kyle Roberts who put me in the hospital. It was Evan and you dirty Canadian fans! BILL HEWSON: Oh, come on! CHRIS CASINO: So I came back. I came back to NAPW to save it. To save it from mediocre talent like Kryenik and Cartwright. To bring a sense of order to this company. I came back to right the wrongs of Evan Cartwright and his little buddies. At Epic I make history. At Epic I make everything right. At Epic Chris Casino becomes a player once more. Evan? Billy? D!? Rex? All of you are targets. You think you know what's next? You clowns have no idea. I am Chris Casino and I am your next NAPW Provincial Champion and THAT you can bank on! Casino drops the mic and hits all four corners to a huge ovation of boos. Cut to commercial.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is a six man tag SUPERSTAR RULES match! It is scheduled for one fall and is no disqualification, no countouts. Weighing in at a combined 494 pounds, Krusty Kid Paul and Tommy Deathrow: SEXY, AWWESOOOMMME AAAND DRUUUNK! Alice in Chains' "Man In The Box" plays as KKP and Deathrow come out, bringing a garbage can full of odds and ends with them, as a large section of the crowd starts to boo. But Tommy and Paul could care less what a few fans think, and they saunter down to the ring making comments about how sexy these superstars really are. FRANK WARBURTON: And their partner! From New York City, weighing in at 175 pounds! He is PATRIIICK BIIIICKLLLLE! The music switches to DJ Shadow as Bickle walks out carrying a sledgehammer? Oh, no, this can't be good. His eyes lock onto those of Tommy Deathrow as he gets in the ring, followed by his ringman Mister Maps, carrying a large duffle bag. FRANK WARBURTON: AND THEIR OPPONENTS! From the Delivery Dispatch, weighing in at a combined 609 pounds, they are THHHEEE DEEEELIIIVERYYY MEEEEEENNNNNN! And to... Elvis Costello's "The Delivery Man", out walk the same! The crowd bursts into cheers as Tex comes out of the curtain first, posing for her fans, as Delivery Men #1 and #2 come out, followed by a newly minted #100 and his friend #57. They are, of course, all wearing jumpsuits emblazoned with their numbers on the breast. Stein, or #100, has a subtle smile on his face as he walks to ringside. John Sharplin explains the rules to all three men. Tommy Deathrow decides to start the match, and both #2 and #100 want to be the first men to face off against him. After some conferencing, Stein is chosen, to the cheers of the crowd. Stein is glaring ferociously at Deathrow and spits on the canvas as the bell rings. Tommy Deathrow, with a smirk, walks to his corner and tags in Krusty Kid Paul as the audience boos. JACK JONES: Ha haa! I love it! Who cares what the fans want to see? BILL HEWSON: I'm sure Stein will be able to face off against Deathrow at SOME point in this match, Jack. Krusty Kid Paul runs at Stein and gives a knee to the gut to get this match rolling. Stein flops to the ground from the sheer velocity of it, but calmly stands back up. Stein is in position for a test of strength, and KKP shrugs as if to say, "Why not?" Wrong move for Paul, as Stein handily has KKP on his knees, grimacing in pain. KKP tries to kick Stein in the gut, but Stein is NOT letting Paul break the hold. Some unbelievable strength by Stein here! Stein with a throat thrust has KKP on the mat, kicking the ring in pain. Stein walks over to where KKP is writhing, and picks him up by the mohawk. What's this? A choke hold on Paul, and #100 THROWS him to the SAD corner, waiting expectantly for Paul to tag out. Paul does so, to Patrick Bickle. Bickle enters through the ropes, staring evenly at Stein, who impassively returns the look. JACK JONES: That's one creepy-ass matchup. They both look dead in the eyes. BILL HEWSON: They both come from some interesting backgrounds, that's for sure. It looks like Bickle doesn't quite know what to think of Delivery Man #100. As they stare each other down, Stein is BLINDSIDED by Tommy Deathrow, who brought in the trashcan and nailed the Delivery Man in the back with it! Hey, it is a Superstar Rules match, and while the fans are booing Deathrow, the first use of weapons is making them anticipate the foreign objects. Sharplin tries to get Tommy out of the ring and continue the match, which Tommy does after a kick to the back of Stein. Bickle rummages through the trash can, while Stein is on the mat in pain. A shout from the crowd by some fans: "What's in the can, man?" Huh, looks like some Sonic listeners in the audience tonight. Bickle pulls out a SOLID STEEL SIGN! And brains Stein with it. JACK JONES: Hey, Stein, do you yield? Hunh? Get it? Because he hit you with a Yield sign! BILL HEWSON: Who ARE you? Stein is crawling to his corner. All the while, Bickle is hammering on him with that sign, managing to warp it with Stein-sized dents. But it's not stopping Stein's progress to his partners. With almost inhuman tenacity, Stein manages to tag to #1, as Tex cheers. #1 gets into the ring, and Bickle hits HIM with the sign. The sign is pretty much useless now, so as #1 winces, grasping his shoulder, Bickle rolls out to fetch his duffle bag. The duffle bag is in the ring, and he unzips it. And brings out a small souvenir sized baseball bat. But Tex is in the ring, and she's picked up the dented sign and hit Bickle with it! It didn't do much. But it got Bickle's attention. "Hey, how about you just leave peacefully, girlie? So I can throttle your boyfriend in peace." That's all the distraction that #1 needs, as he gives Bickle a side bear hug. The larger #1 is wearing Bickle down. #1 just torques the waist of Bickle, and Bickle's fading. A rap to the arms with the bat isn't giving Bickle much leeway. KRUSTY KID PAUL! With the garbage can to the head! DROPS #1 as the crowd "oooohs" in sympathetic pain. Bickle rolls out of the ring as KKP continues his assault! Running knee drop to the face! A leg drop to the throat! Paul picks up #1 as Deathrow climbs in. KKP to the top rope as Deathrow manages to get #1 on his shoulders in a powerbomb position! KKP leaps and grabs #1's neck as Deathrow POWERBOMBS! BILL HEWSON: OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? JACK JONES: The moment of victory, Hewson! KKP covers, and Sharplin counts One! Two! #2 flies into the ring and breaks up the pinfall. #2 then jumps on Tommy Deathrow with a good ol' ground and pound! The crowd helps count as #2 gets to eight. Nine! Sucker punch by the Superstar knocks #2 down! KKP's back up, and picks #1 up. German suplex from KKP and the Bottle Opener is hit as Paul elbows #1 in the face. He covers again. One! Two! TEX! It's TEX now with the breakup! KKP pounds the mat in frustration as Tex pulls #1 to her corner, and tells Stein to tag in. Stein does so, but not before KKP grabs the red mane of Tex's hair. "What the (BLEEP) was that about, huh? Whatchya tryin' to DO here?" #2 and Deathrow are still punching each other on the other side. Stein, defending his partner's manager, with the Tongan Death Grip on KKP. KKP's eating it! Tex rolls out of the ring, trying to bring the prone #1 with her. Stein has KKP! #2 and Tommy brawl! And Bickle's in his corner, just watching it all. John Sharplin pulls #2 and Deathrow apart, finally, and it's just KKP and #100! KKP's fading by that death grip, and it looks like Stein's going to- OH! Groin shot by Krusty Kid Paul! JACK JONES: Ha ha! Straight in the babymaker! BILL HEWSON: Unorthodox counter by Paul, there, but, hey, this IS Superstar rules. JACK JONES: Sure, Stein might not be able to mattress mambo, but I'm sure he's got SOME feeling down there. Sure enough, Stein drops to the mat. Paul picks him up, and throws him into the turnbuckle. He rummages through the garbage can, and drags it to where Stein is in the corner. KKP pulls out, a DVD box set? Season one of the Simpsons! And smack! Right into Stein's face! Paul pulls out... Season two? Oh god! WHAM! Paul keeps on pulling out season after season, using it to hit Stein in the kisser! Season six is the one that makes Stein bleed from the nose! Stein is reeling! And Paul keeps on hammering on Stein, whose nose is giving him half a crimson mask! Deathrow calls from the corner, and Paul with the tag. Deathrow's entering the ring for the first time legally, here, and the crowd shows their displeasure. Tommy goes right on the attack, first by picking up the smaller man over his shoulder. DOMINATOR! Stein is a broken mess! Deathrow covers. One! Two! Deathrow picks the head up! BILL HEWSON: God the love of god, end the match! JACK JONES: That's right, Superstar! Show the robot how you do hardcore! BILL HEWSON: Deathrow going for something here --- it's the Cobra Clutch! Deathrow's going to choke Stein out! Stein is not looking good here. All the life's fading from him! Sharplin picks up Stein's hand. It drops. The hand is raised again! And it falls once more. If Stein drops his hand one more time, Deathrow wins by submission. Sharplin raises the hand once more time, andit dro-no, Stein's waggling his finger and the crowd goes nuts! Stein's standing up with an amazed Deathrow still clutching his opponent! Stein's waggling his finger, and Deathrow breaks the hold, opting to just punch Stein in the face. Stein's shaking his arms, pumping his fists. Deathrow with another punch. Stein's vibrating now, shaking his head. Tommy keeps on punching. Stein glares at him and points! "YOU!" JACK JONES: Oh my god. BILL HEWSON: He's Steining up! HE'S STEINING UP! #57 throws something to Stein, and Stein uses a ketchup bottle? He's squirting Deathrow right in the face! It looks like Deathrow's sporting a crimson mask as well! Deathrow's fumbling around blindly, #2 looks to lock on the Strangehold Alpha --- Krusty Kid Paul breaks that up! #1 storms into the ring, nailing Krusty Kid Paul with a roaring Bicycle Kick! Deathrow sits in the corner, trying to get it back as #1 and #2 begin to double-team Krusty Kid Paul. They've forgotten about Patrick Bickle, who flies off the top rope in some form of cross body taking out #2! It's Paul & #1 going at it... and now Tex rolls back in the ring! Tex looking for revenge from earlier on, she slaps Paul --- Paul mule kicks #1 in the groin first, then catches Tex's hand. GOOD GOD! DDT ON TEX! DDT ON TEX! KKP DDTED A WOMAN DOWN! Delivery Man #1 is up and eyes a-blazin', begins to smash Krusty Kid Paul ... clothesline sends Paul over and out! But #1 doesn't go after Paul, instead looking at Tex, who is limp on the canvas. He begins to gently roll her out... here's #2! #2 grabs #1 by the wrist, saying "hey! We got a match to win!" #1: "She's frikkin' hurt!" #2: "Then let's frikkin END this match and take care of her frikkin then!" The Delivery Men are in a staredown... BILL HEWSON: Oh my God! Patrick Bickle just pulled out his duffel bag on the outside... He's got a sledgehammer! The Delivery Men don't see him coming! NO! NO! Bickle just CREAMS Delivery Man #1 in the lower back with the sledgehammer. #1's face is a mask of pain as #2 blinks, stunned. Bickle? Blasts #2 Triple H style right in the top of the head, sending #2 careening out of the ring. Bickle turns around, satisifed as referee Henry Andrews has lost all control of this contest --- STEIN! Stein with the TONGAN DEATH GRIP ON BICKLE! Bickle starts to fade... Deathrow from behind on Stein! Deathrow sends Stein to the outside and follows him out, the two men --- bleeding and ketchuped --- spilling into the crowd! In the ring, Bickle hits the top rope as #1 continues to writhe in pain from that sick sledgehammer shot... Bickle FLIES! FREEFALL! Bickle thrashes, holding his shoulder in pain from the impact, but #1 is worse off! There's the cover! ONE! TWO! THREE! FRANK WARBURTON: Here are YOUR winners... Sexy Adorable Drunks & Patriiiick Bickle! Stein sends Deathrow into a crowd of chairs and then... THE VITIATOR? No, Stein's pulling back --- he can't seem to control his own hand! Stein refusing to use the Vitiator even though everything in him clearly wants to destroy Deathrow and oh no, that hesitation is all Deathrow needs to huck a chair right in Stein's face. Deathrow grabs another chair and wedges it again Stein's throat, holding the man down with a sick choke. Patrick Bickle limps up the aisle, his good arm raised high in victory. In the ring #1 has crawled over to Tex, who is coming to but not looking good. Krusty Kid Paul? Laughing his ass off on the outside. #2? Holding his head, but looking on in the ring at #1 and Tex... COMMERCIAL.
JACK JONES: I'm wondering how competitive this match is going to be. First of all young Jake "Crash" Carver is giving up nearly a foot in height. Plus if heÕs anything like his uncle Del Carver --- he'll be reckless in the ring. BILL HEWSON: Well there's no doubt about the history with the Carver family. If you fans have never heard the name then I'm sure you're in for a real treat. IÕve seen the nineteen year old Crash in the ring before and he's like lightning in a bottle. JACK JONES: That's all fine and well but lightning in a bottle is destructive and we might see Crash go the way of the do-do. Just like his uncle. BILL HEWSON: Well, that remains to be seen. Right now it's all speculation but one thing that has stood out is how dangerous this Guy N. Cognito is. If his history is correct then I think everyone might want to hope Crash is as reckless as we're anticipating. JACK JONES: Are you saying the best way to attack someone who might be a little off, is to become a wonky as well? BILL HEWSON: It worked for the Undertaker and Mankind. It worked for McMahon and Michaels, why not Cognito and Carver? JACK JONES: Cognito might have the ace though Bill. He comes to the ring with that Japanese friend of his Bakuto. He's only six feet but he looks serious enough to strike fear in any opponent of his or Cognito. I'm putting my money on the man from Kabukimono. IRON MAIDEN! The crowd gives a nice pop as Crash Carver, accompanied by Daniel Dafoe, pops through the entrance way. He's full of energy, half-running to the ring and slapping every hand, wearing a big grin on his face. FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first accompanied by DANIEL DAFOE... weighing one-hundred and seventy-seven pounds! From Jackson Mississippi! CRASH! CARRRRRVERRRRR! Crash hits the ring, clearly thrilled to be in his first professional match. After a momentary pause, Violence Group replaces IRON MAIDEN... and flanked by his bodyguard Bakuto enters the muscular tank Guy N. Cognito. Quite possibly the unhappiest man on Earth. Bakuto holds Guy back from the fans several times down the aisle, as Guy is clearly unimpressed and even offended by the rowdy Edmonton crowd. FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent, from parts unknown! Accompanied by Bakuto, he weighs two-hundred and seventy-five pounds! I give you... GUY! N! COGNIIIIIITO! Crash and Guy N. circle each other in the center of the ring. Guy towers over the rookie as they go face to face. Crash strikes first with two forearm shots to the mush. Guy seemingly no sells the shots but Crash grabs the arm and goes behind with an arm lock. Guy reveses it and goes behind Crash. Crash uses his weight to get closer to the turnbuckle. He runs up the turnbuckles and flips backwards of Guy and dropkicks him from behind. Guy hits the turnbuckles and bounces out backwards. Crash bounces off the ropes and nails a swinging neck breaker. Guy looks shaken up. He gets back to his feet and leans into the corner. Carver runs for a stinger splash, Guy moves and Carver his the turnbuckles. Guy grabs Crash by the arm and Japanese arm drags him onto the mat. Guy gets up quickly and kicks Crash in the torso - STIFF. Cognito bounces off the ropes and elbow drops. Carver is in a bit of pain as Guy N. picks him up. He throws him off the ropes, Carver comes back quickly. Guy lifts him up but Cognito reverses it into a Hurricanrana. He goes for the quick cover...1...2. NO! Cognito kicks out. BILL HEWSON: So far so good for Carver. He's holding his own against the bigger man. JACK JONES: It's to early to tell. We're only a few minutes into the match. Carver throws up his arms to an applause from the crowd. He runs off the ropes and baseball slides Cognito in the head. Cognito rolls out of the ring to catch a breather. Bakuto comes over and negotiates something him. Cognito rolls back into the ring. Crash goes for a jumping side kick but Guy grabs the leg and lifts him with a one modified version of a chokeslam. Carver's back slams onto the mat and he jolts in pain. Guy goes on the offense. Bakuto jumps up onto the apron and distracts the referee. Guy slams his foot into the Carvers groin. The crowd cringes from the illegal strike. BILL HEWSON: Oh come on! What a cheap shot! He was already down! JACK JONES: What ever gets the job done Bill! Guy bounces off the ropes and drops a knee onto the chest of Carver. Daniel Dafoe is livid on the outside as he is desperately trying to explain to the referee what happened but the referee never saw it. Guy grabs Carver and throws him to the outside. He hits the concrete floor hard and Bakuto walks over to him. The ref warns Bakuto and Dafoe walks closure to him just in case. Carver recovers and jumps up onto the ring apron. Guy goes to grab him but Carver throws his shoulder threw the second ropes, hitting the shoulder into Cognitos midsection. Carver flips over the top ropes... rolls him up into a pinfall...one...two... NO! Cognito kicks out again and he's up right away. Carver hits a few punches but Cognito steals the momentum back and throws Carver into the corner. BILL HEWSON: The size difference is really making a difference. JACK JONES: What did I tell you? Cognito runs in with an arm out and stiff arm clotheslines Carver, who's head jolts back. Carver stumbles out of the corner... SPINEBUSTER! Cognito goes for the cover...ONE! TWO! No! Crash kicks out somehow. BILL HEWSON: Now that's heart. That spinebuster was heard around the world and Carver kicks out! Cognito gets back to his feet and starts arguing the call with the referee. With the ref distracted, Bakuto hops on the ring apron and... hotshots Crash right on the top rope! Dafoe gets on the ring apron and starts SCREAMING at the ref to turn around and do his damn job, but Cognito covers... ONE! TWO! Th--- CARVER KICKS OUT! Cognito can't believe it! BILL HEWSON: He kicked out! He kicked out! Crash Carver just will not die! This capacity crowd rallying behind this kid right now! Cognito links his fingers together in a signal for his CRUSHER maneuver, garnering a chorus of boos. He picks up Carver... Carver fights back! Carver hits the ropes, Cognito with a lariat attempt --- MISS! Carver ducks the clothesline and goes off the ropes again... Bakuto trips him up! Carver stumbles... and before he can say "Doctor's Note", Cognito slaps on the Full-Nelson...into the Backbreaker! CRUSHER connects, and the cover...ONE! TWO! THREE! FRANK WARBURTON: HERE IS YOUR WINNER... GUY N. COGNITO! BILL HEWSON: What a cheap short artist! He won the match but what kind of a legacy are you going to leave when your bodyguard gets involved in the match so match! JACK JONES: Like I said Bill, what ever gets the job done! Cognito sees an opening --- hits that Full Nelson into the back breaker, and we have your winner. BILL HEWSON: But he cheated, dammit! This kid deserved better in his first match! JACK JONES: If the referee doesn't see it... Dafoe rolls into the ring to check on Carver, not to mention argue with the referee about his officiating. Cognito rolls out of the ring and raises his arms up. He has a sick look on his face as he and Bakuto walk to the back. Garbage is being thrown at them but they pay no attention to it. A groggy Carver is back onto his feet, an arm slung around Dafoe's shoulders. The NAPW audience applauds him for his efforts. BILL HEWSON: Maybe next time those two lock up - we should ban the managers so we can see who the better wrestler is. Folks, don't go anywhere during this commercial break. It will be LOBO... vs DON TRAVELLI when we come back!
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is the SUBMISSION MATCH! Introducing first, from Sicily... DONNNNN TRAVELLLLLLI! BILL HEWSON: And our next match will determine the number one contender for the Television Championship, and the winner will face either Uzi or Mr. Slick at Epic --- whomever the TV Champion is after Action!. And then... Rob Zombie means only ONE man, and the crowd erupts! LOBO storms out, looking over the crowd as Terry Brandon steps behind his son. Some of the crowd begins to chant "Please Don't Go"? FRANK WARBURTON: And HIS OPPONENT! From Toronto, Ontario, he is the only Olympic Gold Medallist in NAPW history... accompanied by the manager of champions TERRY BRANDON... THIS! IS! LOBOOOOO! Lobo hits the ring, a strange expression on his face as he preps for the match. DING DING DING. Lobo and The Don circle each other, scouting each other for an opportunity--Lobo goes first, halting Travelli with a momentary collar-and-elbow before performing a standing switch to his back--he's got the legs, take-down! Lobo's grabbed Travelli's foot, looking for a quick ankle-lock, perhaps, Travelli quickly rolling onto his back and kicking him off.Travelli's quick to his feet, and Lobo's just as quick to restage his offense. Front Chancery by the big man, Travelli not enjoying his position, and starts charging Lobo into the ropes. Lobo runs off the ropes expertly, but maintains the hold, and goes as far as to underhook Travelli's free arm. Travelli's arching his body trying to pull free, but isn't making lot of headway against the World's Strongest Man. Now Lobo's using his position to start torquing on Travelli's neck. Travelli yelps, so Lobo keeps doing it. Lobo adds a bit more torque, and Travelli's feet keep pushing and slipping against the mat until they finally find a proper footing--Travelli looks like he's extricating himself--SUPLEX, a tad unorthodox with the chancery and the single underhook--Travelli hits the mat, and Lobo's chancery is still locked. Lobo's shoulders are on the mat here, with Travelli on top of him--technically this is a PIN, inconsequential in a submission match. Travelli kicks his feet in the diection of the ropes, and in retaliation, Lobo uses HIS feet to drag them deeper into the ring. The referee checks in on The Don, whose face is turning beet red but stll shows signs of life. Travelli's using both of his arms to pull Lobo's thick forearm off of his neck--Lobo disengages the hold and rolls to standing. Travelli's looking hurt on the mat early on in this Submission Challenge, and he rolls onto his belly. Lobo looks at his downed opponent with a knowing smile--hooking the waist, he's going for the KARELIN LIFT--LOBO STAGGERS! LOBO STUMBLES! BILL HEWSON: It's that dirty, no-good sneak Travelli--when Lobo lifted him for the slam, he got his foot in Lobo's GROIN! JACK JONES: Well, can you blame him? It was AWESOME! Lobo's on the mat, wincing. Travelli, refreshed, sits up and throws his arms up in celebration. From there, he's quick to stand and start unleashing on Lobo with stiff boot shots, chipping away at the big man's constitution. The crowd's all over Travelli right now, so he starts blowing them two-handed kisses--Travelli winds up off the ropes, throws up his elbow, and drops it, pin-point, on Lobo's neck. Lobo's entire body quivers like a shot horse, and from here, Travelli chains the Elbow Drop into a Chinlock, pulling Lobo's head back against the leverage of a knee in his spine. Lobo's painy-face indicates he might be in trouble, but as the ref goes to check for his response, he slaps BOTH of his big hands down on the mat, and does a single PUSH-UP--LIFTING the relatively-lighter Travelli with him. From there, he's able to shift some weight onto his knees--Travelli's leverage effectively gone, he shifts on the fly and body-locks Lobo into SLEEPA WIDDA FISH--LOBO ROLLS! Lobo throws himself to the side before the Sleeper could be finished, effectively steam-rolling The Don as both men roll closer to the ropes--and Lobo's arm springs out, forcing a rope break on Travelli. "THAT'S MY BOY!", Terry Brandon reminds us. Travelli rises, unsteady, from Lobo and punishes him with a boot shot and a foul mouth. The Don grabs the rope with both hands, and leaps straight up--KNEE SMASH onto Lobo's back. Travelli now pulls Lobo up by the hair--the ref's reading him the riot act here--KNEE LIFT into Lobo's mush stuns him even further. JACK JONES: Looks like Travelli's had it with the amateur stuff--HA! Now it's time for a PROFESSIONAL beating! Irish Whip from The Don sends Lobo into the ropes, and from there it's a Kitchen Sink to take him down. Lobo's sprawled in a seated position, and Travelli goes to the well again with the Chin-lock, albeit from a different angle and a more dazed opponent. Terry Brandon pounds the mat to drum up some crowd support for big Lobo, who's desperately clawing at Travelli's hands as the Don looks to rupture his neck tendons. Travelli's motor-mouthing him in Italian, calling him a STRUNZ, a MERDAIO, a MICHIONE--Lobo must have known one of those words, as he wrenches Travelli's hands off of his chin, allowing him to right his spine again. He's still holding Travelli's fingers, mind you, bending them as he rises, forcible pulling The Don with him to standing. Lobo's standing back-to-belly with The Don, stretching his arms in opposite directions--and then quickly turns around, wrapping Travelli up in his own arms. The crowd cheers, while Travelli, wide-eyed, desperately starts pleading. A "LOBO! chant starts, and the big man looks into the crowd, smiling--and releases the arms, instead going for the LOBO SLEEPER! LOBO SLEEPER--APPLIED! TERRY BRANDON--DANCING! Travelli's thrashing for dear life, arms going this way and that--THUMB TO THE EYE! BILL HEWSON: NO! He just gouged Lobo's EYE! How could he DO that? JACK JONES: It was a ACCIDENT! Don't be so quick to accuse! Lobo's covering his eyes, recoiling in pain, and now the freed Travelli's scouting Lobo--Lobo's stopped covering up, and he turns to recieve--THE KISS OF DEATH! Travelli's just smooched Lobo, and now Lobo's covering his mouth, recoiling in horror. BILL HEWSON: Don't turn your back! DON'T TURN YOUR-- SLEEPA WIDDA FISHES! Travelli POUNCED on his foe and brought him crashng down to the mat, his trademark sleeper applied! The crowd's on their feet, Terry Brandon's close to dying of shock at ringside, Lobo's in a bad way in the middle of the ring--and the ref's lifts Lobo's hand, only to fall. "LO-BO! LO-BO! LO-BO!" The ref lifts Lobo's hand, only to fall. "LO-BO! LO-BO! LO-BO!" The ref lifts hand. Only to fall. BILL HEWSON: NO! The bell rings, and Travelli rolls off of his foe, only to dodge out of the way from someone's tossed beer cup. FRANK WARBURTON: Here is YOUR winner... DOOOOONNNNN... TRAVELLLLLLLLLLLLI! BILL HEWSON: This crowd is ready to EXPLODE! Here come more drink cups! JACK JONES: Get OUT of there, Travelli! Some of those cups have ICE in them! Don Travelli didn't need to be told, because as the first volley hits, he quickly rolls out of the ring and starts departing up the ramp. Walking backwards, his head held high, more debris being hurled at him, Travelli bites his thumb at the crowd and laughs, then blows another two-handed kiss at Lobo in the ring as he makes his departure. JACK JONES: Well, I doubt that that was the big finish that Lobo had in mind-- BILL HEWSON: Jones, SHUT UP. JACK JONES: Hey, are you going to be SORE? BILL HEWSON: No, I mean "SHUT UP"! LISTEN. Terry has rolled into the ring by now, and propping his son up to rest against his chest, he gently starts shaking him to come to. The crowd--the crowd is applauding. And chanting.
"THANK-YOU LO-BO!" "PLEASE DON'T GO!" Lloyd Brandon's eyes stir, and his father grips his shoulder.
"THANK-YOU LO-BO!" "PLEASE DON'T GO!" Lloyd waves his father off of him, and he stands up. Terry, emotions playing on his face, backs off ito the corner. Lobo --- Lloyd cranes his neck around the Polish Hall, and takes in as many faces as possible. Something heaves in his chest, surges through his neck, and then hits his head. He begins to cry. "THANK-YOU LO-BO!" "PLEASE DON'T GO!" BILL HEWSON: Lobo's going to have new opportunities... with the WWE... Yes, Lobo --- Lloyd Brandon --- has been signed to Deep South Wrestling...
"THANK-YOU LO-BO!" "PLEASE DON'T GO!"
"THANK-YOU LO-BO!" "PLEASE DON'T GO!" Terry walks out of the corner, pulls his son to him, and hugs him with everything that he's got. "THANK-YOU LO-BO!" "PLEASE DON'T GO!" The hug ends. Terry holds Lloyd's hand up in victory, both men with tears running down their faces.
"THANK-YOU LO-BO!" "PLEASE DON'T GO!"
"THANK-YOU LO-BO!" "PLEASE DON'T GO!" JACK JONES: ... we have to go to commercial.
"THANK-YOU LO-BO!" "PLEASE DON'T GO!" Lights down on a great career.
BILL HEWSON: WELCOME BACK to Monday Night Fights! And you, sir, are DISGUSTING. JACK JONES: I didn't PLAN the party, Hewson, I was just emceeing! Now this one party I DID plan, well --- We don't get to know what SICK PERVERSE thing Jones was going to say, because a familiar entrance song fires up. It's PATH, and a lone man walks through the entrance way in a thousand dollar black business suit, his black hair slicked back as always. The crowd erupts for RAVAGER, who stalks to the ring all business. BILL HEWSON: Well, Ravager is not scheduled for a match this week, but from the look on his face I wager he's got something to say. JACK JONES: I've got something to say, The White Collar Assassin? Needs to hit the tanning salon. That kind of pale can't be healthy. BILL HEWSON: Oh yeah, he needs a healthy orange glow like you, eh Jack? JACK JONES: Indubitably! Ravager has the microphone in the center of the ring, listening as the crowd chants "YOU GOT SCREWED! YOU GOT SCREWED!" However, Ravager holds up a hand for quiet. The crowd responds. RAVAGER: Now, I know most people here expect me to come out and complain about not winning the NAPW title last week. And you know what? I have a valid reason to be angry. Like you're chanting, last week I got screwed. Screwed out of winning the NAPW Heavyweight...Championship. Crowd agrees and gets loud again, but once more Ravager calls for quiet. He continues on, an edge to his otherwise calm voice. RAVAGER: But then I stopped to think. About what I did to get the title the first time. About what guys like Devastation and Chris Casino did to win, and keep, the belt. Then I realized that the NAPW title, while being the biggest achievement a wrestler can get in this company... also corrupts men's minds. People with any sense of honor have no chance trying to win it. And I'm probably the least honorable person around here. And that's the problem. Too many people trying to go all out to win. Using every dirty trick in the book. Weapons, gang attacks. Funny, I thought the NAPW billed itself as "wrestling"? JACK JONES: This ain't no damned trampoline act, Bob! BILL HEWSON: Will you be serious? RAVAGER: It's time for a change. It's time for this company to spotlight true athletes. It's time for me to prove myself as the best wrestler in this business. And apparently, the NAPW Title scene is not the place to do it. So I'm announcing my intention to enter the Pure Honor Division. Seems only fair, since the first pure wrestling match was actually in January. On Monday Night Fights. And featured me. I am issuing a challenge. Any wrestler in the Pure Honor Division, any wrestler that wants to be in the Pure Honor Division, to face me next week at Monday Night Fights. And I will work my way to the top of the Division, just like I worked my way to the NAPW title. And I will make the Dvision as competitve as the Provincial title scene was when I was champ. Pause. Ravager looks over the crowd, who are behind him 100%. RAVAGER: But Pure Honor shouldn't just be a title. It should be a way of life. I am sick of the way things are going around here. There is absolutely no way that a man who is as talented as Devastation should need four men to help him win a match. So I'm making a little pledge tonight. From here on out, you will never see a two on one, or a three on one, or an eight on one attack again. I don't care what show you wrestle on. I don't care if your name is Chris Casino, Rex Caliber, Carter Ownens, D!, Diamond, Dextro, or Delivery Man #8714. If you want to win your match, you better be prepared to win it on your own. The Revolution of Honor has begun. It starts with one man. But I won't be alone for long. NAPW, be prepared... because things are about to change. Ravager throws down the mic and exits the ring. Without looking back he walks the ramp to the exit, the crowd cheering behind him. Fade to commercial break...
Depeche Mode brings out the Old Testament Terror, UZI, who steps with a purpose to the ring, TV Title glistening across his waist, wasting no time except to deliver a defiant smirk to the crowd. Buggsy flanks him to the right, looking a bit more interested in playing to the crowd, shouting out taunts as he struggles to keep up with Uzi on his way to the ring. FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is set for one fall and is a non-title match! Introducing first, from Jerusalem... weighing in at two-hundred and eighty-five pounds! Accompabied by Buggsy... THE TELEVISION CHAMPION, UZIIIII! JACK JONES: It took a lot of guts for the TV Champion, a relative newbie to NAPW, UZI, to challenge the self-proclaimed Best Damn Singles Wrestler in NAPW. BILL HEWSON: He's shown no signs of backing down from the challenge, either. He knew what he was getting himself into, and has pissed right back at D! all weekend. "RIIIIIIGHT BEFORE MY EYES!" Huge pop for D! as he explodes out of the backstage area like a chicken with its head cut off! D! slaps more than a few hands on the way down, but his eyes never leave the eyes of his opponent tonight. Uzi, to his credit, doesn't seem discouraged or overwhelmed by the vehement hatred towards him or the love for D! tonight, he's all-business as usual. FRANK WARBURTON: And HIS OPPONENT! FROM EDMONTON ALBERTA... ONE LETTER! SAID REAL LOUD! DEEEEEEEEEEEEE! BILL HEWSON: D!'s been the target of more than one hate-filled rant from Static this weekend. Despite the totally businesslike attitudes of both of these competitors tonight, you've gotta wonder if that's gonna be on his mind at all. JACK JONES: I don't think so, Bill. For one, Static is far too much of a professional to be interfering in this match at all. He's going to give the proper respects as necessary. For two, D! knows that Uzi didn't win that TV Title by being a cupcake. He's going to have to focus all of his attention in the ring tonight to win. D! slides in the ring as Buggsy slides out, and Uzi wastes no time in starting this match! Uzi, normally the shorter man in his matchups, begins the match by grabbing the vulnerable D! and bruising his back with rapid-fire forearms that have the former champ crawling. Kicks to the ribcage, forehead, and back accompany the forearms, which have D! laid out in the corner. European uppercut and a vicious haymaker in the corner follows. Uzi grabs D! by the hand and throws him in the corner with a violent Irish whip. Uzi wasting no time in racing to the opposite corner and doing it again. This one brings D! to his knees! JACK JONES: D! is going to have to counter these brawling moves with some of his own, or he won't last long tonight. Maybe he should've studied TV like Uzi did D! crawls out to the center of the ring, where Uzi has been staring defiantly at no one in particular in the crowd, which accompanied by Buggsy's taunts, draws the wrath of the Edmonton faithful. Uzi smirks for a second before lifting D! up on his shoulders... Argentine Back Breaker Rack! Yeahhhh boyyy, Uzi's got that locked on tight! Taunting D! for all its worth as he's laid up in there, senior ref Dick Kiebach repeatedly asks D! if he'll submit. This is D!, though, we're talking about, folks, and before we know it, he's fighting the hold for all that he's worth! A few seconds of thrashing leads to enough room for an elbow to the head, and then another. One more and D! is free! Looking exhausted, he bounces off of the ropes, looking to surprise Uzi from behind, Uzi turns around just in time, SPINEBUSDDT! D! hit a DDT, Uzi hit a spinebuster, both men down. Both men on the ground long enough for Kiebach to start the count, but D!'s up at three. Uzi soon follows at five, and D! greets him with kicks to the abdomen. Uzi's pretty much no-selling though, rises up, and catches a roundhouse punch to the jaw. Uzi follows with his own, though, and we've got another brawl on our hands. This is D!'s game, though, and he's gaining the advantage, working Uzi into the corner. Several roundhouses to the jaw and abdomen, the crowd eating it up, D! is on a ravenous frenzy! And then... calms it down a bit. Picture frame with his hands over Uzi's face, he's sizing him up! Opposite corner, D! runs, Uzi all deflated on the turnbuckle, STINGER SPLASH from D! has Uzi wobbly! BILL HEWSON: D! has got Uzi where he wants him now, he could look to finish this match! D!'s waiting on Uzi to stumble on over his way, when he does, D! grabs his neck around into a sleeper hold. Nyquil Driver, he's going for it! Nyqu--Uzi turns around! Uzi grabs D!'s arms and twists it behind his back, Chicken Wing Suplex! Uzi knows that he caught both D! and the crowd off-guard with that one, and you'd better believe that he's damn pleased with himself for it. D!'s up now, Uzi takes advantage with some more forearms to the neck and back, SPINEBUSTER! Buggsy: "That one didn't miss!" Uzi, smirking, grabs ahold of D!'s right leg and flips him over into an STF! Uzi is one of NAPW's master technicians, and he's got this sucker locked on tight, much to the chagrin of the NAPW faithful that can SEE the utter pain in D!'s face. D!, though... he fights. And he fights and he fights and doesn't stop, ever. Not until that hold is loosened, at least, and D! can struggle to the ropes. For a hold that started at the center of the ring, it's pretty crazy that D! is so close... so close... and BUGGSY to the ropes! Buggsy playing like he's going to jump in the ring, and Kiebach, in a rare moment of error, unfortunately takes the bait. He's fighting with Buggsy to keep him away from the action, and in the meantime, Uzi pulls D! back to the center of the ring. BOOOO goes the Edmonton crowd, as Uzi re-adjusts his submission hold into a powerful dragon sleeper! Uzi's meaty right bicep just envelopes D!'s scrawny neck and has him kicking for air almost immediately. Uzi takes a moment to chuckle at the leering crowd, and wink at Buggsy as he leaves the ropes. Kiebach back to the action, asking D! if he's going to tap, and he's shaking him off. BILL HEWSON: All this restless kicking makes me think that Uzi's cheating energized D! Indeed, D!'s still kicking, he's waving his free arm, he's... hulking up? Well, not quite, but D!'s got the crowd back on his side, cheering for him as opposed to booing Uzi. D! almost looking like a breakdancer with the way he's trying to squirt out of the hold, legs moving furiously, his neck and head still wrapped tight under Uzi's vice grip. Little by little, though, D!'s squirting out, until... KNEE! KNEE! D! straight-up kneeing Uzi in the forehead, locked in the dragon sleeper, agility as we've never seen before from D!. Two more knees and that hold is just hanging on by a thread, D! finally flips up and HEADSCISSORS Uzi from the dragon sleeper position to break the hold! D! doesn't keep the hold, though, instead opting to jump up and wait for the opportunity to present itself against a rising Uzi. Rockette's Kick o' DOOM! Can YOU do the CAN-CAN? Finally, D! stops, and sends the Kosher Assassin flying into the corner... Uzi stumbles out! And a BEAT-O-BARRAGE greets him as soon as he hits the turnbuckle! D! is a HOUSEAFAR! STRIKES! KICKS! BLUR OF MOTION! Finally, D! winds up... and palm strikes the Assassin to the ground to finish the Barrage! COVER, and Kiebach's not gonna get tricked again by Buggsy as he's trying to slow the count! D! wins! FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner... D! D! hits the corners to celebrate as Buggsy pulls Uzi out of the ring, slapping the TV belt onto Uzi's shoulders. "You had him, champ! You had him!" Uzi isn't exactly pleased, but he retreats with Buggsy. BILL HEWSON: The Television Champion took D! to the limit, you gotta respect that. But tonight, Monday Night, D! was the better man! When we comeback, THE CRIMES are in action!
JACK JONES: Who says they were the masked men? BILL HEWSON: It's as clear as day! Two masked men attack Static and Rex Caliber repeatedly, and then Heat & Chopper show up to help out Devastation? Come on! JACK JONES: I'm just saying that we haven't seen conclusive proof... BILL HEWSON: In any event. At EPIC, it will be Heat & Chopper taking on the team of Static... and D!. And those two men haven't been getting along that well as of late. Tonight, however... THE CRIMES are in tag action against Heat & Chopper! Let's go to the ring! "Keep Talkin'" by Juvenile hits as Chopper and Heat emerge from the back to a chorus of boos. Walking a few paces behind them, title belt slung over one shoulder, is the NAPW Heavyweight Champion, Devastation. FRANK WARBURTON: Coming to the ring, making their official NAPW debut... at a combined weight of four hundred and seventy five pounds they are HEAT and CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOPER! Chopper and Heat slide into the ring and go to the corners, raising their arms and sneering at the negative crowd reaction. Devastation watches the newest members of Charitable Trust with a grin from the outside. Their music fades out... and the crowd explodes as Rex Caliber and Static come out from the back and rush the ring to the strains of "Bled For Days" by Static X. Warburton manages to get off the introduction before bailing! FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents, at a combined weight of four hundred and twenty pounds, they are former NAPW Tag Team Champions... the CRIMES CRIMES CRIMES! Caliber and Static slide into the ring and are met immediately by the boots of Chopper and Heat. Chopper stomps away on Static as Heat puts the boots to the back of Rex Caliber. Henry Andrews tries to get control, attempting to separate Heat and Rex Caliber first. Caliber lands a heavy shot that staggers Heat, and before Heat can answer Andrews interposes himself between the two men and sends them to their corners. Chopper grabs the top rope and continues to stomp down on Static as Heat and Rex climb out onto the apron. With just two men left in the ring, Andrews calls for the bell for the official start of the match. BILL HEWSON: Heat and Chopper did not waste any time in trying to get an advantage over the crimes here tonight! JACK JONES: Members of Charitable Trust don't let anything go to waste, and that includes opportunity! Andrews begins a five count as Chopper plants his foot across the throat of Static; One! Two! Three! Four! Fi-Chopper takes his boot off of Static's neck, but immediately kicks him hard in the ribs. Andrews tells Chopper to make it a clean break, and Chopper backs off with his hands raised. Static begins to pull himself up on the ropes, but is knocked right back down as Chopper pushes past Henry Andrews and smashes a knee into Static's ribs. Chopper grabs Static by the head and drags him over to the corner, making the tag to Heat. Chopper drops Static back with the Lungblower and holds him in place across his raised knees. Heat begins to rain down heavy hands on Static's stretched out midsection. Rex Caliber starts to come into the ring, but Henry Andrews stops him, giving Heat and Chopper a few more seconds of freedom to abuse Static. Heat falls with a double sledge across Static's stomach and Chopper finally releases him, standing up and climbing out to the apron. Heat drags Static up off the mat and heaves him over his shoulders into a torture rack! Heat stands in the center of the ring, racking Static across his shoulders and grinning at Rex Caliber. Heat gestures for Rex to bring it on, and Caliber tries to hit the ring for a second time, only to be stopped by Henry Andrews again. BILL HEWSON: These newcomers to NAPW have the former tag team champions in a world of trouble! JACK JONES: Rex Caliber needs to stay in his corner and keep his temper if Static is to have a hope in hell, but that's the point! Heat & Chopper are keeping the ring cut in half and it's essentially a two-on-one right now. A LEGAL two-on-one! Heat turns around while Andrews is distracted trying to get the Nexus One back into his corner and Chopper enters the ring. Heat lifts Static off his shoulders and over his head as Chopper drops to one knee. Heat drives Static down into a big gutbuster across the raised knee of Chopper then climbs out to the apron, slapping his hands together in the air. BILL HEWSON: Oh yeah, a real 'legal' two-on-one. JACK JONES: The referee didn't see it, it's not illegal. Andrews turns but thinks the tag has been made as Chopper lifts Static up and delivers a big belly-to-belly suplex then hooks a leg for the pin; One! Two! Static gets a shoulder up! Chopper shakes his head that it doesn't matter and stands back up. The Hardcore Luchadore is slower to his feet, and as soon as he is up Chopper grabs him by the wrist and slings him into the ropes. Static hooks the top rope with both arms as he hits, putting on the brakes. Chopper snarls and charges across the ring... low bridge by Static! Chopper flies over the top rope Ð NO! Chopper catches himself on the top and lands safely on the apron. Static turns around and Chopper swings a big right... Static ducks! Static with a low dropkick that connects with Chopper's shins. Chopper falls, catching his neck on the second rope. Heat starts to come into the ring a few feet away and Static nails him with a dropsault knocking him out of the ring. The moonsault finish lands right across the back of Chopper's neck! Chopper is shot backwards out of the ring, crashing to the outside! BILL HEWSON: Static takes out Heat, takes out Chopper! All he needs now is to get across the ring to Rex Caliber! JACK JONES: It'll never happen! Static is down on the mat across the ring from the reaching Rex Caliber, both Heat and Chopper recovering on the outside. Devastation comes over and helps Chopper up to his feet, pointing towards the ring emphatically as Static begins to crawl towards Rex. Chopper shakes his head, trying to clear the cobwebs and slowly slides into the ring. Heat back up onto the apron, rubbing the back of his neck from his fall. Static is almost there, just a foot away from Rex Caliber now! Static gets to one knee and leaps the final few inches... Chopper grabs Static's foot and yanks him back before the tag can be made! Chopper smiles and shakes his head... Static leaps off his other foot Ð ENZUIIRI! Chopper's eyes cross as he stumbles back a few steps and then collapses. Heat reaches out as far as he can as Chopper falls and manages to brush his hand across his partner's arm! Heat in and rushing across the ring! Static reaching out towards Rex Caliber! Heat dives at Static... STATIC MAKES THE TAG! Static rolls out of the ring as Rex Caliber explodes through the ropes, nearly taking Heat's head off with a clothesline! Chopper back into the ring, leveled by another clothesline! Heat staggers back to his feet and is planted with a running STO! Chopper back up and taking a swing at Rex... ducked! Rex with a waistlock and RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! Chopper rolls out of the ring and collapses to the floor! Rex Caliber grabs Heat by the legs and tries to apply the Nexus Cloverleaf! Heat struggles to avoid being turned, his legs already trapped in place! Rex pulls Heat to the left, slowly but surely turning him over... Heat reaches up and hooks Rex's head, pulling him down into a modified small package; One! Two! Kickout! BILL HEWSON: Rex Caliber coming to save the day, but Heat with a quick-thinking counter to the deadly Nexus Cloverleaf! JACK JONES: Hot tag hot shmag! Caliber and Static are just over-matched here! Heat grabs Rex Caliber in a side headlock as both men rise, leaning his weight into the hold and trying to force Caliber down to the mat. Rex braces his legs and refuses to fall, but can't seem to power out of the hold from Heat. Rex moves one foot slowly, then the other, slowly building momentum and forcing Heat towards the ropes. They hit the ropes together and Rex attempts to use the built-up speed to throw Heat off, but Heat drops into a legs-first slide, dragging Rex down to the mat with him. Heat leans back, wrenching Rex Caliber's neck backwards and tightening the grip around his head. Heat is looking towards the corner as he seems to be focusing on mostly just keeping Rex Caliber exactly where he is for some reason. That becomes clear as Chopper manages to climb back up to the corner, Heat having given him the much needed recovery time. Heat braces his feet under himself and slowly rises while keeping the pressure on Rex, who seems to be fading in the wearing hold. Heat begins to move Rex towards the corner, where Chopper waits with an outstretched hand. Heat reaches out for the tag, and Rex takes immediate advantage of the release in pressure, hooking his arms around Heat's waist and lifting him up and falling into a back suplex! Caliber grabs Heat by the arms and drags him quickly across the ring towards his own corner! Rex Caliber makes the tag to Static, who leaps over the top rope and comes crashing down with a legdrop across the neck of Heat! Static with the cover; ONE! TWO! THR-Heat kicks out before the three count! Static grabs Heat in a front facelock and backs into the corner again. Static climbs up to the second rope and then leaps off, spinning Heat around and delivering a ring-shaking tornado DDT! Static right back to the corner, this time going straight to the top! Static is calling for it, and the crowd goes ape! Wait! Chopper hits the ring and runs at the corner... Static flies, catching Chopper in the chest with a missile dropkick and sending him right back out of the ring! For the third time tonight, Chopper crashes down to the outside. BILL HEWSON: Static just showed Chopper why you don't mess with the CRIMES CRIMES CRIMES! JACK JONES: Don't say it like that! Heat is slowly getting back to his feet as Static turns his attention back that way. Static approaches and tries to grab Heat in the front facelock again, but Heat powers up and drives a knee into Static's stomach, then drops him with a brainbuster DDT! Heat with the cover; One! Two! Broken up by Rex Caliber! Andrews forces Caliber back into the corner as Static and Heat both try to get back to their feet. Static is there first, but clearly hurting from the DDT as he walks slowly towards the corner. Chopper is back up on the apron and climbing into the ring behind Static! Static doesn't see it coming... Chopper runs right by him! DECLEATER to Rex Caliber just as Static goes for the tag! Rex Caliber is sent flying to the outside, crashing into the restraining barrier and slumping to the floor! Static looks shocked, and Heat grabs him from behind. German Suplex! Chopper leaves the ring at the command of Henry Andrews, but the damage has been done. Heat goes for the cover again; One! Two! Thr-Static kicks out! Heat argues that Andrews should have gotten in position faster, not wasted time with Chopper. Andrews just holds up two fingers, though he backs away nervously as Heat gets back to his feet. On the outside, Rex Caliber is somehow trying to get back to his feet, one arm wrapped across his stomach. Devastation begins to stalk Rex around the corner as the Nexus One staggers towards the ring. Devastation comes up behind Rex Caliber and... RAVAGER! Ravager runs down the entrance way and straight at Devastation! Ravager grabs Devastation by the arm and spins him around just before he can lower the boom on Rex! Devastation raises his fists and Ravager backs off a few feet. Devastation looks confused, glancing back as Rex tries to pull himself up the apron, then at Ravager, not sure where to focus his attention. Inside the ring, Heat sets Static up and drills him with the Heatwave! Heat turns to the crowd and raises his arms as Chopper goes to the opposite corner and climbs to the top... Rex Caliber up on the apron! Caliber shakes the ropes and Chopper falls, crotching himself! Heat turns around just in time to catch another running STO from the Nexus One! Rex Caliber turns to the corner and grabs the Chopper.... TOTAL ANNHILATION! Heat gets to his feet slowly, turns around --- PLANETARY COLLISION, the Styles Clash! Devastation gets on the apron to distract the referee, but Ravager grabs him by the foot and pulls him back down! Devastation has had enough, but Ravager shrugs and retreats rather than engage in a ringside brawl! Rex Caliber rolls Static on top of Heat for the cover! ONE! TWO! THREE! The bell rings as Henry Andrews signals the end of the match! FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners... THEEE CRIMES! CRIMES! CRIMES! BILL HEWSON: Ravager sticking true to his mission statement, just preventing Devastation from getting involved in the match in any way! And a big, big win for Rex Caliber here tonight going into his title match with Devastation at Epic! JACK JONES: You mean a big win for THE CRIMES, don't you? BILL HEWSON: Of course I did...what did I say? JACK JONES: A big win for REX CALIBER. Ravager screwed Heat & Chopper, how is that 'fair?' BILL HEWSON: Ravager did nothing of the sort, the only he did was insure that it was a fair tag team contest. We can only hope that at Epic Devastation tries to wrestle Caliber one-on-one...for once. We've got one more commercial break to take! When we come back --- The tag titles will be on the line!
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the NAPW TAG TEAM TITLES! Introducing first, accompanied by Bill Fleming! The team of "THE BEAST" BRUCE RICHARDS! STYLIN' KYLE ROBERTS! THE NEW & IMPROVED DEEEEEE-EXXXXXX! BILL HEWSON: And tonight D-X looks to make NAPW history once more, becoming four-time Tag Champions. It's been almost two months since D-X lost the titles to Chris Casino & Evan Cartwright at Sole Survivor, and in that time Kyle Roberts, well, he's developed a vicious streak none of us expected. JACK JONES: Well, your mentor betrays you, NAPW brass puts you in matches against MONSTERS, who can blame Kyle Roberts for Emerald Fusing every poor bastard that gets in his way? BILL HEWSON: D-X has ended several careers over the past long while, but tonight they will be in the ring against two of the very best... and the Bi-Polar Express isn't going down without a fight. And on cue, Curtis Mayfield plays. And out walk the tag team champions Evan Cartwright and Sick Billy Kryenik to a tremendous pop, each with a tag title belt around their waists, Evan with the Provincial title over his shoulder! FRANK WARBURTON: And now, introducing the CHAMPIONS! The team of Provincial ChampionEvan Cartwright...Sick Billy Kryenik...The BI-POLARRRRR EXPRESSSSSS! The Express hit the ring and the corners --- D-X attacks from behind, before the bell! Ding ding ding. D-X with the early advantage thanks to the sneak attack. The Beast throwing beefy right hands at Kryenik's head, Evan suffering from Roberts choking him out in the corner. Kryenik gets dumped to the outside and D-X double-team Mr. Cartwright. Cartwright shot to the ropes, ducks the double clothesline. He catches the ropes to stop his momentum, and right behind D-X, Sick Billy is back in the ring! Evan points behind D-X, who turn around... Kryenik double-clotheslines them both down! Evan takes a corner as The Beast rolls out, and it's Kryenik & Roberts starting the match proper. Kryenik with stiff chops on the hirsute chest of Roberts, but the hair seems to be buffering Roberts from the pain! Roberts gouges Kryenik's eye and takes him over with an arm drag, into an arm bar. Roberts holds on and tags in The Beast, who boots Kryenik right in the wringed arm. Kryenik shakes the arm, walking towards Evan, but The Beast quick to hook him with a suplex. Early cover, that gets one. The Beast boots Kryenik in the chest, then hits the ropes...running senton from the big man! Kryenik gets flattened, and The Beast tags in Kyle once more. Roberts stomps away, then sends Kryenik into the corner. He perches Kryenik on top? Trying for a superplex, but Kryenik punches him off. Kyle tries to come back --- caught by Billy with a diving lariat from the second turnbuckle. Kyle pops up immediately, only to eat a smashing right hook from Kryenik. Roberts flops forward, and here's the tag to Evan Cartwright! Cartwright is all over Mr. Roberts, immediately hitting a belly-to-back suplex. Impact! Evan with a snap powerslam that gets two, and Kyle is sent to the ropes. Roberts reverses --- double leg takedown! Roberts looking for the Bear-Tamer! He turns Evan over, but Cartwright is quick to hook Kyle's legs and shift the momentum... Evan stands up into his OWN Boston Crab! The Beast from behind breaks it up. JACK JONES: Now that's teamwork! Kryenik & Cartwright aren't even a real team, just two singles wrestlers thrown together. They're not TAG champions. BILL HEWSON: They've been tag champions since the end of March, I'd say that constitues being a real team. Roberts with a Brainbuster, Evan kicks out at two! D-X tags again, The Beast coming in. He hoists Evan up in another suplex...holding him up. Making him think about it...and down! No cover, The Beast instead kneeling over Evan and punching him in the face. Referee Dick Kiebiech breaks it up, warning The Beast about the closed fists, but The Beast just shoves him away and hauls Evan up by the ears. Evan gets sent to the ropes, caught with a belly-to-belly throw that sends him halfway across the ring. The Beast hits the ropes and rushes, Evan moves! Beast hung up in the ropes, and Evan Cartwright capitalizes with a ROARING ELBOW to the trapped Beast. Beast drops down... and his foot gets tied up in the twisted top and middle ropes! Stylin' Kyle complains loudly as Evan looks over the crowd with a big grin. He stomps away on The Beast, Kyle rushing in but getting sent back by Kiebiech! And now Evan gets some speed, flying... HESITATION DROP-KICK to the face of the upside-down Beast! Beast tumbles to the canvas, free but dazed, and Evan tags in Kryenik. Kryenik irish whips the Beast... SUPERKICK! THE BEAST DUCKED! KIEBIECH GETS SUPERKICKED IN THE FACE! BILL HEWSON: OH NO! The Beast pulled Kiebiech right in the way of that superkick! A KRYENIK KICK, dammit! JACK JONES: Billy Kryenik should be suspended and stripped of his title for that. Kryenik looks a bit shocked, but as soon as the referee drops Kyle is IN THE RING. Met by Cartwright. Sick Billy has The Beast in the corner! The Beast nails him in the groin, and then... FIGURE FOUR NECK LOCK HANGING OVER THE ROPES! No referee to break it up, Kryenik is trapped! Evan heads over to save, but Roberts nails him from behind with a clothesline that sends Evan spilling to the outside. Kyle turns around and goes to throw fists into Billy's exposed ribs while Bruce squeezes the air out of Kryenik's neck... Evan gets back on the apron --- CHRIS CASINO. Casino smashes Evan Cartwright on the back with a steel chair! Evan collapses to the canvas and Casino... what's he doing here? ANOTHER CHAIR SHOT, NO! Casino has the chair, unfolded! It's in proper sitting position, and what's Casino doing? He's on the apron, referee down, D-X doesn't seem to even notice, and Casino... HE CAN'T! BANKRUPT! BANKRUPT! The unprettier from the apron to the unfolded chair, and Evan Cartwright...Evan Cartwright is not moving! Kyle Roberts caught that out of the corner of his eye, and he's screaming at Casino "Hey, didn't I cripple you?" Casino fires back with "You're next, Kyle baby!" EMTs swarm Evan Cartwright as security surrounds Chris Casino, grinning arrogantly at his handiwork. BILL HEWSON: Evan Cartwright is down! Chris Casino, that bastard --- we have to take a commercial break! What? NOW? But --- we'll be right back!
BILL HEWSON: Welcome back, and during the break Evan Cartwright was taken out of the arena on a stretcher...all thanks to that sick Bankrupt onto a chair by Chris Casino! The referee has no idea what happened, but this tag team title match is now a handicap match, Billy Kryenik taking on D-X all alone! JACK JONES: And I don't like his odds against the three-time tag champs! Or maybe correctly, the soon to be FOUR times tag champs! The referee hits the five count with Kyle choking out Billy. Kyle says "I've got FIVE, ref!" and Kiebiech is not pleased. Kyle tags in The Beast, and Kryenik is in a bad shape. New & Improved Double Leg Drag! The Beast drives an elbow and covers, one, two, Kryenik kicks out. The Beast hits a neck wrench, trying to keep Kryenik grounded and in pain. Kryenik manages to get to his feet, hits the ropes... he runs off! Kryenik rebounds with a lariat, but it's ducked --- Kryenik gets caught by the Cobra Clutch...BOMB. Cover gets one! TWO! Th---Kryenik kicks out. Tag out to Roberts, who comes in and grabs a handful of Kryenik's hair. He pulls Kryenik up, yelling in his face. "You think you can match up with us, GARBAGE WRESTLER?" Roberts hoists Kryenik up... MOOSE! JAW! DRIVER! The crowd deflates as Roberts leans over with his back on Kryenik's chest. ONE! TWO! TH---NOOO! KRYENIK KICKS OUT! BILL HEWSON: You can't cover non-chalantly like that! But even then, I'm shocked that Billy Kryenik kicked out of that high-impact DVD! JACK JONES: So's Kyle Roberts! Kyle looks shocked, then pissed off. He signals for the EMERALD FUSION. He hauls Billy up, the latter swaying on his feet. He hoists him...Billy won't let him pick him up! Kyle starts laying forearms into Billy's back, but Kryenik won't let himself be taken over! Kryenik forces Kyle into the turnbuckle! LARIAT! Kryenik picks Kyle up and puts him on the top rope... HOT SALVATION! Kryenik connects with his combination, and Kyle slumps to the canvas. Kryenik covers, and gets ONE, TWO before The Beast drops a big leg across the back of Kryenik's head. Kyle rolls on top of Kryenik, one, two... Kryenik grabs the ropes to break the pinfall. Kyle tags out to The Beast, who is eager to lay into Kryenik. He seems offended by Kryenik's existence as a tag team champion, and here we go! Pump-Handle suplex THROW...with AUTHORITY! Kryenik sent spinning across the ring. Kryenik pulls himself up in the corner, but The Beast avalanches him quickly. Kryenik stumbles out, caught by The Beast... TORTURE RACK! HUMAN TORTURE RACK! And The Beast is flexing with Billy across his shoulders, this is going to be it! JACK JONES: There's no Evan Cartwright to save him, he can't make the ropes, this is IT Bill Hewson! New tag team champions --- IS HE BITING HIM? BILL HEWSON: Kryenik in desperation managed to BITE The Beast on the forehead, and that breaks the hold! Wait a minute --- boot to the gut --- KRYENIK! DRY LAKE! DRY LAKE! But...he can't capitalize! The Beast is laid out, blinking from the DRY EFFING LAKE. Kryenik can't cover...finally he does! ONE! TWO! TH--- The Beast kicks out! Too much time, too much time between the move and the cover, and the crowd is heartbroken. Kryenik rolls off, trying to regain his energy. The Beast crawls to his corner for a tag, but there's nobody for Kryenik to tag out to! The Beast... TAGS IN ROBERTS. Roberts gets in! Bulldogs Kryenik down, hits the ropes, LIONSAULT --- Kryenik gets the knees up! Kyle gasps in pain, doubled over on the canvas. Both men are down, the referee making the standing ten count. ONE! TWO! THREE! Movement... FOUR! FIVE! Kyle is up first! He signals to The Beast... The Beast goes to the top rope! Kyle calls for DOWN AND DIRTY! He toe kicks Kryenik, doubling him over, hits the ropes... LARIATOOOOOO! Kryenik caught a flying Roberts with a hella lariat! The Beast is still on the top rope, Kryenik nails the ropes and crotches him! He flies up and KNEES The Beast in the face! The Beast is dazed, still on the top rope... Kryenik gets underneath him, he's got the Beast on his shoulders, unbelievable...ELECTRIC CHAIR DROP! Beast SPLATS on the canvas, and rolls out of the ring. Hold on! Bill Fleming is on the apron, distracting the referee! Kryenik doesn't even want to waste his TIME on him, and grabs Fleming by the lapels. Roberts from behind! Roberts hooks Kryenik again, and this time gets Kryenik up... EMERALD FUSION coming up... WAIT A MINUTE! KRYENIK SLIPS OFF AND ROLLS UP ROBERTS! ONE! TWO! THREE! HE DID IT! HE DID IT! FRANK WARBURTON: HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS... STILL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... BI-POLAR EXPRESS! BILL HEWSON: HE BEAT THE ODDS! BILLY KRYENIK BEAT THE ODDS AND RETAINED THE TAG TITLES --- NOW WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE! Kyle is seated, in complete shock, but THE BEAST is in the ring. WITH THE RING BELL. DING! Right across Billy Kryenik's face. The Beast is FURIOUS. ENRAGED. ANGRY. HE'S GOING TO KILL SUCKERS DEAD. And The Beast lays the ring bell down... what's this? He's yelling to Kyle... "EMERALD FUSE THIS PATHETIC GARBAGE WRESTLER! RIGHT ON THE BELL! DO IT NOW, DAMMIT!" Kyle looks surprised at Bruce's rage, but then is all too happy. He grabs Kryenik's limp body, and the third time's a charm...EMERALD FUSION ON THE RING BELL. Kryenik is out, leg quivering. Bill Fleming grabs the tag team title belts and hands them to D-X, who certainly are NOT the champions, but nonetheless! Kyle hits the ropes and poses with his precious belt, but The Beast...holds the "kryenik" belt in Billy's face. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" The crowd BOOS, throwing cubs and garbage D-X's way. BILL HEWSON: Billy Kryenik proved himself to the world tonight, and this is what he gets! What a pack of sore losers D-X are! We are out of time... for Jack Jones, this is Bill Hewson saying GOOD NIGHT! D-X stands victorious, despite losing their tag team title shot... What about Evan Cartwright? What about Chris Casino? The Road To Epic continues!
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