TUESDAY. NIGHT. FIGHTS.

08/29/2006

"Village at Southgate, Hi Rise, One Bedroom, six-forty-six to seven-hundred square feet, eight-forty-five to eight-sixty-five per month."

As we find ourselves looking into the parking lot just outside Polish Hall, NAPW's resident White Collar Assassin, Ravager, strolls across, dressed sharply in his trademark dark suit. He's got a coffee in one hand, and a home renter's guide in the other.

RAVAGER: Bah. Southgate. What's the attraction, security? Better to shoot drain cleaner into one's veins. Pass. "Jasper House, Hi Rise, One Bedroom, five-fifteen to six-twenty square feet, seven-eighty to eight-forty per month." Hmm. Jasper Avenue as a substitute for Whyte Avenue? Hmm. they say Jasper Avenue could become hip and cool again in fifteen years. And one could always simply cross the river into Whyte, that's still allowed... nah, pass, smells like a compromise to me. And I DON'T believe in compromise. "Cricket Court."

Ravager stops dead in his tracks.

RAVAGER: That's in the shadow of The Mall, isn't it? Well, let's keep reading. "Townhome..." lot of responsibility... "Two Bedroom, nine-sixty-two square feet, nine-eighty-five per month." Henh. West End's not so bad, and with a roommate, a space that small might even seem bearable... sigh. It's not Whyte Avenue, but what can you do? It's not going to be about getting what you want, it's going to be about getting by.

Ravager sets his coffee down on a nearby parked sedan, and uses his free hand to tear out the ad.

RAVAGER: There's no shame in living in the West End, none at all.

He sticks the renter's guide under the his arm, retrieves his coffee, and resumes walking through the parking lot, quickly this time.

RAVAGER: It just makes sense to be prepared.

Ravager walks determinedly to his target... a Mango-coloured PT Cruiser. Ravager sets the coffee down on the roof, fishes into his pocket, pulls out a Scotch Tape dispenser--and quickly tapes the ad onto the driver's side door.

RAVAGER: And what can I tell you? I'm a creature of habit.

Ravager retrieves his coffee and walks away, whistling.

Pause.

A scraggly Dextro walks in, holding a gigantic Seven Eleven cup and sucking its contents through a straw. He stops, takes another huge sip, and stares straight into the camera.

DEXTRO: I GOT ME A SLURPEE, BITCH!

BILL HEWSON: Often imitated, never duplicated--Canada's #1 wrestling promotion is BACK, and it's brought one thousand screaming fans along for the ride! Frm Polish Hall in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, it's New Alberta Pro Wrestling's TUESDAY NIGHT FIGHTS! Bill Hewson at your service--

JACK JONES: --and Jack "Attack" Jones, NAPW's most trusted voice since 2005. It's been a long three weeks, but you know what? NAPW hasn't missed a step--the wrestlers haven't missed a step, I sure ain't missing a step--

BILL HEWSON: --and neither have the fans, some of them camped outside all day today just to make sure they were at ringside! And what a show--it's D! Ravager! But not for the NAPW Title--for the right to keep their HOME! It's a LOSER LEAVES WHYTE AVENUE match, and the stakes have never been higher--they HATE each other!

JACK JONES: Ha! Israel and Hezbollah HATE each other--THEY'RE gonna tear each other's SKINS off! And there's more kinds of action, too--Static takes on Patrick Bickle in a high-flyin' contest, Dream Come True takes on The Royal Foundation for the #1 contendership for the Tag Titles. Oh and Stein's got a Mystery Opponent--no, whatever's WORSE than a Mystery Opponent!

BILL HEWSON: That last gem by order of Commissioner Winchell, all this and a Submission Match between The Provincial Champion Lloyd Rees and Rex Caliber. Now folks, get ready, because it's tiemfor the first match-up, and it's one that's been three weeks in the making!

FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is scheduled for one fall, with a thirty minute time limit. Introducing first from Paterson, New Jersey, Patrick Kidd!

“Rebirth” by Boy Hits Car plays as Patrick Kidd steps onto the entrance ramp and makes his way towards the ring as the crowd cheers.

BILL HEWSON: They called him "The Spirit of Outlaw Pro Wrestling", and nw his home's here in NAPW! Patrick Kidd issued an open challenge THREE WEEKS ago to the NAPW locker room, thinking a fight'd be right around the corner!

JACK JONES: Ha! That's because Patrick Kidd's a piece of trash--nobody wanted to bother with him! Hey, last time I checked, we didn't even wanna HIRE this guy--Crash Carver snuck him in! Now what does THAT tell you?

BILL HEWSON: I think you're selling Kidd short--we've seen him in tag action with Carver, and NAPW fans have been VERY interested in seeing more of this tough new competitor! Besides, someone who says he'll fight ANYONE in the locker room--how's THAT make him a piece of trash!

JACK JONES: 'Cause OBVIOUSLY, he just doesn't care enough to name an opponent! Thank God we have Moose Millar to teach him a lesson!

FRANK WARBURTON: His opponent, hailing from St. Albert--"The Moose", Mark Millar!

“All Hell For a Basement” by Big Sugar plays as The Moose makes his way to the ring to a chorus of boos from the fans.

BILL HEWSON: Not a lot of LOVE for the Moose from the Edmonton fans...

JACK JONES: That's RIGHT! He's a former Provincial Champion, he's been in the NAPW since DAY ONE and now the fans have the temerity to BOO him?

BILL HEWSON: He turned his back on Edmonton--

JACK JONES: He turned his back on Edmonton because Edmonton let him DOWN. Just like Carter Owens did when he dodged Moose's challenge all month long!

BILL HEWSON: Does that SOUND like the Carter Owens you know? If Owens hasn't responded to the challenge, there MUST be a reason--

JACK JONES: Yeah, he's off wetting the world's largest bed. Gimme a break, Hewson, and let's let this party start.

Warburton leaves the ring as the ref checks both men for foreign objects then calls for the bell to start the match. The two men stare down in the middle of the ring as the Moose lets out a grunt, and then raises his left arm into the air, motioning for a test of strength. Kidd reaches up accepting the challenge, but when he does Moose kicks him in the gut and quickly slams him to the mat before dropping an elbow on Kidd and going for a pin, but Kidd kicks out at One. The Moose pulls Kidd up to his feet by his hair, and the ref gives him a warning as he whips Kidd into the ropes. Kidd rebounds off the ropes and ducks a clothesline, then rebounds off the other side and goes for a crossbody block, but Moose catches him and delivers a fall away slam.

JACK JONES: Hey, it just dawned on me--where's Psycho Sarah? I was hoping to see her out at ringside!

BILL HEWSON: Ah, she's probably crawling on the ceiling somewhere if you look hard enough. It's all Moose in the early going Kidd has to start turning it up if he's going to be victorious tonight!

Moose drags Kidd to the ropes and places him face-down over the bottom rope choking him as the ref gives him the standing five count, but Moose breaks the choke at four. He pulls Kidd up to hiss feet again and whips him into the ropes attempting for another running clothesline, but Kidd ducks the clothesline again and takes the Moose down with a drop toe hold. He then grabs Millar’s leg and locks in an inverted Indian death lock. The ref asks Millar if he wants to submit, but he screams no and reaches towards the ropes, but can’t quite reach. Kidd bridges back and grabs Millar’s head and pulls back on it. Millar screams out the ref asks him if he wants to submit and he still screams no. Kidd then leans into the move a little more, but this moves the Moose the half an inch he needed to reach out and grab the ropes and the ref tells Kidd to break the hold.

BILL HEWSON: Strong technical wrestling from Kidd here--and I think this match has just started playing to Kidd's strengths!

JACK JONES: Yeah, well... Moose's strength is Moose's strength. Don't count him out.

Kidd pulls Millar up to his feet and delivers a quick snap suplex. Kidd pulls Millar up again and goes for a second suplex, but Millar blocks, and rolls Kidd up in a small package grabbing a handful of tights.

One.

Two.

Kick out.

The Moose is upset the Kidd kicked out and gives him a thumb to the eye as he tries to get to his feet. Millar then picks Kidd up over his shoulder in a power slam position and runs forward, but instead of slamming him into the mat he slams him into the corner turnbuckles where he leaves him hanging upside down in a tree of woe position. The Moose then starts to choke Kidd out with his boot as the blood rushes to his head. The ref warns Millar about the choking again and Millar breaks the choke at the four count.

JACK JONES: Large and in charge--hah! Betcha Kidd doesn't feel like such a hotshot in the locker room from now on!

The Moose walks to the opposite turnbuckle and charges forward attempting a baseball slide into Kidd’s face, but Kidd manages to pull himself up to a sitting position on the top turnbuckle, and the Moose crotches himself on the steel corner post. Kidd hops down from the turnbuckle with a double stomp to Millar and rubs his neck for a moment while Millar gets to his feet. Kidd rushes in and grabs the Moose around the waist and is about to go for a belly to belly suplex when the Moose headbutts him then picks him up for an atomic drop. As Kidd is feeling the effects of the blow Millar bounces off the ropes and levels Kidd with a running clothesline. Millar pulls Kidd to the middle of the ring and drops an elbow before going to the corner and climbing to the second rope to go for another elbow drop, but Kidd rolls out of the way.

JACK JONES: SKREEEEE!

BILL HEWSON: Oh, God, that was GIRLY.

Kidd gets to his feet sneaks up behind the Moose as he starts to get up, and Kidd delivers a belly to back suplex with a bridge.

One.

Two.

Kick out.

Kidd quickly gets to his feet bringing Millar with him and launches him into the ropes catching him on the rebound and slamming him into the mat with a devastating spinebuster. Kidd then goes for his own high risk maneuver as he climbs the ropes and jumps off with a frog splash, but the Moose raises his knees and Kidd connects with them chest first rolling over on the mat trying to catch his breath. Moose gets to his feet holding his back and gives Kidd a couple kicks to the chest before pulling him up to his feet and lifting him up into the air and executing a brainbuster, showing that both men have studied the legendary Arn Anderson. Moose then picks up Kidd and goes to deliver a shoulder breaker, but Kidd wiggles free and slides down his back. Kidd spins him around and delivers a quick kick to the gut before executing a swinging neck breaker. Kidd picks Moose up and is about to go for the kill pulling Millar into position for the double underhook DDT known as the Crimson Tide, but the Moose forces out of it sending Kidd to the mat with a back body drop as he falls forward to the mat drained of energy as well.

BILL HEWSON: Both men moving very little--and the ref's starting a ten-count! Both of these menare so evenly-matched!

JACK JONES: Bull CRAP they're evenly matched, Hewson, Moose is the better man and he's gonna prove it! There! I see a lung inflating! That means he's FINE!

BILL HEWSON: Patrick Kidd's showing sgns of life, too--and we've still got ourselves a FIGHT!

Both men take their time getting to their feet and then charge towards each other locking antlers--so to speak. The two men lock up again in the center of the ring with a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Moose whips Kidd into the ropes, as Kidd rebounds off the ropes Moose grabs him and sends him into the air bouncing him neck first off the ropes with a stun gun and slamming him into the mat.

Moose goes for a cover and after making sure the ref isn’t looking he puts his feet on the ropes for added leverage.

One.

Two.

Three.

BILL HEWSON: NOT LIKE TH--

JACK JONES: SKREEEEEEEE!

FRANK WARBURTON: Your winner, "The Moose" Mark Millar!

The Moose celebrates as Kidd rolls out of the ring and look up towards the sky and then focuses on the floor as he makes his way to the back.

JACK JONES: Ha! Look at Mr. Hot Shot now! Think he's so sad because he got his ass HANDED to him by NAPW's Roughneck?

BILL HEWSON: No, Jones, I don't think that's it . . . I mean, we've all had a chance to see old footage of Kidd...

JACK JONES: And some of us chose NOT to!

BILL HEWSON: Right. Well, it's the Stun Gun, Jones... that was Tony Childe's finisher.

Kidd, looking forlorn, slips through the curtain without looking back.

BILL HEWSON: His dead best friend's finisher.

DEATHROW: Well, this is another Bull(BLEEP) night in Suck City.

Backstage at Polish Hall, Sexy Adorable Drunks are in the hallway, leaning against equipment containers and chilling.

KRUSTY KID PAUL: Heard that. Some big plans you and I got.

DEATHROW: (BLEEP), Showstoppa, three weeks ago we were gonna (BLEEP)in' take the Tag Team Titles before we got ROBBED. SCREWED. (BLEEP) knows I ain't surprised because every time we get a (BLEEP)in' shot at somethin' we get screwed.

KRUSTY KID PAUL: We don't get respected by no one. Not the (BLEEP)in' fans, not the (BLEEP)in' wrestlers, not your (BLEEP)in' Mom...

DEATHROW: (BLEEP) man, you know my Mom's wet for you.

KRUSTY KID PAUL: (BLEEP) is that why it's so humid?

DEATHROW: But (BLEEP) this (BLEEP), yo, we ain't even BOOKED this week. Just like they want NAPW's only TRUE PACKAGE of Tag Team excitement, SEXY ADORABLE DRUNKS to just disappear off the face of the (BLEEP)in' Earth.

KRUSTY KID PAUL: And now we're not even in the league of those Dream Come True sluts or the Royal Foundation? (BLEEP), man, is the Royal Foundation supposed to be US?.

DEATHROW: (BLEEP) it, man, we're probably gonna have to fight Delivery Men for a (BLEEP)in' month again.

KRUSTY KID PAUL: (Dry heave.)

DEXTRO: Uh-oh! Someone's got DEM SHAKES!

Dextro, Slurpee in hand, strolls casually up to the tag team. KKP and STD give him nods, apparently invested in their leaning.

KRUSTY KID PAUL: 'Sup, Negro?

DEXTRO: Not much. Got me a Slurpee. (Slurp.)

KRUSTY KID PAUL: Lemme have that cup when you're done because I got a date later and I need something that says "Big Gulp" on it.

DEXTRO: (Slurp.)

KRUSTY KID PAUL: Come on, man, you gotta use more teeth.

DEXTRO: So what's going on, guys?

DEATHROW: (BLEEP) all. Just talkin' about The Great and Glorious RETURN WEEK.

DEXTRO: Yeah, man, isn't it awesome?

DEATHROW: Awesome?

DEXTRO: Sure is, mother(BLEEP). I gots me the NEW Action! Main Event, 'coz last time I checked, I'm still the PURE HONOUR CHAMPION.

KRUSTY KID PAUL: Oh hey, a Title, what's THAT?

DEXTRO: (Slurp.) (BLEEP) man, I was talkin' to Winchell the other day and he said I'm the best thing he's got goin' right now.

DEATHROW: 'zat a (BLEEP)in' fact?

DEXTRO: (BLEEP) yeah. (Slurp.) You remember how D! said earlier that I was Best Wrestler in Eleven Feds or somethin'? Winchell's practically slobberin' he wants to (BLEEP) my (BLEEP) so bad. Says I can make it all the way to the top if I play my cards right.

DEATHROW: Yeah, well, remember where you came from or I'll (BLEEP) in your eye.

DEXTRO: (BLEEP), man, this has been the best Summer of my life, and I used to be hooked on Meth. Everything's so (BLEEP)in' awesome.

A short pause as Dextro shakes his cup, shifting the contents at the bottom.

DEXTRO: I'm so (BLEEP)in' glad Winchell's in charge.

KRUSTY KID PAUL: Yeah, man, (BLEEP)in' rights!

DEXTRO: Peace. (Slurp.)

Dextro shambles off, leaving the Drunks to watch him go, then look at each other.

DEATHROW: You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

Pause.

KRUSTY KID PAUL: Gotta get me a Slurpee.

DEATHROW: Gotta get a (BLEEP)in' Slurpee.

We now return to ringside, and the NAPW announce desk.

JACK JONES: --so I figure, why apologize to all of those families when we can just settle this out of court?

BILL HEWSON: Thank GOD, we're back! folks, Commissioner Robert Joseph Winchell the THIRD has taken to the ring during the commercial break, and it looks like he's got something fairly major to say.

WINCHELL: WHO... IS...

Someone from the crowd yells "THE BEE!"

WINCHELL: THE MAN IN BLACK?

A small pop from the crowd.

WINCHELL: Who is the THIEF and the CRAVEN coward who stole an old idea of mine? Who is the BULLY and the TERRORIST who constantly interferes in MY show and tries to screw over all the wrestlers I actually get ALONG with? No, a BETTER question is--who is it on the Roster that's so EAGER to be fired?

Boooo!

WINCHELL: Oh, sure, boo me when I'M the victim! Sure, I've cut a few too many people when I thought they might be the Man in Black--Mark Cage, Kabukimono, I can admit it--but seeing as my number one concern is the SAFETY and WELL-BEING of my wrestlers, then I guess I'm just GUILTY of wanting things to be REALLY SAFE.

Boooooo!

WINCHELL: But you see, the days of hit-and-miss are OVER! Because THREE WEEKS ago, I'd realized exactly WHO the Man in Black REALLY WAS! Oh yes, it's true! You see, it's all very simple--I've watched CSI! If you need to get to track down a violent criminal, you have to get into his headspace!

WHO IS THE MAN IN BLACK? A dangerous, unstoppable force, a brutal machine, a focused automaton that can't be reasoned with!

WHO IS THE MAN IN BLACK? Someone pracically BUILT for destruction, for performing cruel, inhuman tasks with merciless efficiency!

WHO IS THE MAN IN BLACK? I'll tell you... it's our very own Delivery Man One Hundred... STEIN. NOW GET OUT HERE, STEIN, YOU'VE GOT A MATCH, DAMMIT!

Winchell paces the ring while the crowd churns. Dissatisfied, Winchell continues to address the back.

WINCHELL: Come on Stein, I know you love GRANDSTANDING, some come on out here and face what I've GOT for ya!

The crowd buzzes in anticipation, but nothing comes out of the curtain. Winchell, looking steamed, points his finger with authority.

WINCHELL: Hey, put his music on! Put Stein's music on... I want Stein out here NOW!

"In a certain light, he looked like Elvis
In a certain way, he feels like Jesus
Everyone dreams of him just as they can
But he's only the humble Delivery Man"

Surprised, the crowd still gives a warm round of welcome to #1 and #2--the Delivery Men!

JACK JONES: Bah! Can't they even see the numbers on their jumpsuits any more? Those aren't the right Delivery Men! We need One Hundred! Stein!

BILL HEWSON: Looks like Commissioner Winchell's not happy--he didn't expect Stein's BUDDIES to hit the ring!

Armed with Edmonton Delivery Service-issue mics, the Delivery Men enter the ring, and stare down Winchell, who backs off a foot or two.

DELIVERY MAN #1: Winchell, you stupid FRICK, Hundred can't, isn't and never WILL be the Man in Black!

DELIVERY MAN #2: Frickin' snaps to One!

DELIVERY MAN #1: He was backstage with us that one time when we all saw him run by! It's physically frickin' IMPOSSIBLE!

DELIVERY MAN #2: What's the matter, Winchell, we too CAUSE-AND-EFFECT for ya?

DELIVERY MAN #1: We're doing a great frickin' job of making you look foolish!

DELIVERY MAN #2: That's a good job we done.

WINCHELL: No! NO! That's not TRUE! Stein's the Man in Black--STEIN'S THE MAN IN BLACK!

STEIN: You were fricking asking for me?

The crowd whoops as they see the pale mug of Delivery Man #100 fill the video screen.

STEIN: Because I love to fricking deliver.

WINCHELL: What's--what's going on?

Suddenly, the Delivery Men rush forward and seize Winchell by the arms.

WINCHELL: Let go of me! I can have you fired--in fact, I WILL--

STEIN: You have to learn to fricking relax, Winchell, or else you will surely die of heart-related issues. No, it has been decided. If it is truly I you want then it is fricking I you will get.

JACK JONES What's that creepy zombie TALKING about?

We all get the answer, as the camera shooting Stein zooms out and reveals that he's out in the Polish Hal parking lot--right by a polished BMW... and a cement mixing truck.

WINCHELL: No! That's my CAR!

BILL HEWSON: Winchell drives a cement truck?

STEIN: I am not a fricking slave, nor am I property I am a free soul and I deserve respect. You will not shackle me down with your false accusations--and if you will continue to hound me, Winchell, then your fate wll surely be aligned with that of your fricking car--

He motions to the mixing drum.

STEIN: SMOTHERED IN KETCHUP.

The house crowd goes WILD. Wild and LOUD. So loud, at first, that nobody seems to realize that Winchell is LAUGHING.

STEIN: Very well, it is time to "deliver" the--UUUOORK!

Unexpectedly, the video image flickers with snow. Stein spams, throwing his arms up and staggering backwards. The Delivery Men go rigid in shock, and then a second spasm sends Stein reeling to the pavement. as the display fizzles again momentarily.

DELIVERY MAN #2: WHAT THE FRICK IS GOIN' ON!?

VOICE: (Off.) Delta-One-Niner, we are clear. EMP bullets have been deployed, repeat, EMP bullets have been deployed.

WINCHELL: You thought you coud out-think ME, you pasty freak?

VOICE: (Off.) Target is immobilized.

WINCHELL: You just did what I WANTED you to do!

On the video monitor, men in military fatigues step into the frame, one of them carrying a fairly-unusual looking rifle.And then the screen goes black. In the ring, the Delivery Men snap, tossing Winchell to the mat. Winchell scrambles for his microphone and covers up.

WINCHELL: UH--NNOO--YOUCANBEATMEORYOUCANSAVESTEIN! WHAT'SYOURPICK!

But the Delivery Men have already made their choice, and are now hot-footing it to the back. Winchell uncurls, sees them leave, and promtply stands himself back up to an uproar of boos.

WINCHELL: That's right, Delivery Men, RUN. I've just BEATEN your goofy club! And I've taken the Man in Black out--ONCE AND FOR ALL!p> BOOOOOO!!!

WINCHELL: Boo me all you want, all I did was return STOLEN PROPERTY. Welcome back to Project: Adam, Stein--and thank Doctor Morgoth for the generous donation!

BILL HEWSON: That--that SNAKE! What does he think he's DOING?

JACK JONES: Taking care of business, Hewson, which is what we gotta do. Commercial time--and when we come back, a Man in Black-FREE night of wrestling WILL continue! Don't go away!

JACK JONES: You see once you get the whole hand in, you should just leave, and hope you still have a watch.

BILL HEWSON: So that's why you don't--hey, we're ready to roll with our next match!

AkForty is bringing out Royalty; The Royal Foundation that is. Thomas Young and Prince Darko are getting the Joseph Winchell treatment. The boos are loud and they are trying to shout over the crowd. This is futile, but The Royal Foundation is trying to get a "Canada Sucks" chant going. It didn't work--

JACK JONES: CANADA SUCKS! CANADA SU--

BILL HEWSON: SHUT UP!

FRANK WARBURTON: The following tag team contest is set for one fall AND IT IS FOR THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER'S SPOT FOR THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, at a combined weight of four hundred-fifty five pounds, Thomas Young, Prince Darko: THE ROYYYYALLL FOUNDATION!!

The crowd doesn't let up as the two men are not well liked here. The mood changes when "He's Going The Distance" begins to play. Out walks crowd favorites Ainsley Lake and Jared Walsh. They play to the crowd and the places is going crazy.

FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents, weighing in at a combined weight of three hundred-eighty two pounds, Ainsley Lake, Jared Walsh: A DRRREAAM COMMME TRUUUUEE!!!

The bell sounds at the command of the referee for the match, John Sharplin. Prince Darko has decided to start, as Jared Walsh waits on the opposite side of the ring. Darko gives up an inch in height an over ten pounds of mass. Darko extends his hand for a honorable gesture, as the crowd boos. They know he isn't honorable. Jared looks to the crowd. He shakes his head and Darko seems offended by this. Darko refuses to continue and tags in Thomas. Thomas runs in nailing Jared with a running clothesline. He quickly puts on a reverse chin lock and grounds the high risk Walsh.

BILL HEWSON: Very good strategy trying to make Walsh out-wrestle him. He doesn't want to let Walsh hit any fast high impact moves off the ropes or turnbuckle.

JACK JONES: A better strategy would be to rip the legs of Walsh off and then club him with the bloody stumps.

BILL HEWSON: ...

The reverse chin lock is still locked on and Thomas puts his feet on the ropes to gain leverage. Lake is trying to pump up the crowd, doing her best impression of a cheerleader, which incidentally, she has no experience doing. The crowd is chanting "DCT, DCT!!" Jared is trying to get out, feeding off the crowd. But the leverage of the feet on the ropes, WAIT! Sharplin caught him. Young breaks the hold, at the request of Sharplin. Thomas tags in Darko who lays in some boots. Jared is going toward his corner but gets dragged back to the middle. Darko allows Jared to stand and quickly kicks Jared in the stomach. He is setting him up for a power bomb.. Jared uses the momentum and keeps going and turns it into a sunset flip for a pin. Sharplin counts

One...

Two...

Thomas with the save. Thomas grabs Jared by the hair and LAKE with a missile dropkick nailing Thomas. She flew over 12 feet across the ring. Thomas is outside of the ring. He grabs a chair and Jared and Lake are near that side of the ring. Jared is standing in front of Lake. Thomas acts like he is coming in then stops. Walsh is ready to pounce. And then Darko on his knees is behind Lake. He goes for it.

BILL HEWSON: He just pulled down Ainsley's tights.

JACK JONES: Not a thong girl we see, but they're cute.

BILL HEWSON: She falls down and Jared tries to help her up only to get the same treatment.

JACK JONES: They're HANES, let's just leave it at that.

Darko the legal man is kicking the crap out of Walsh as he tries to get his pants up. Lake is up and Thomas is laughing on the outside. Chair still in his hand, Lake baseball slides into him, just as he turns around. He eats the chair, and Sharplin is too busy with Walsh and Darko to see it. Walsh is down and Darko goes for a Boston Crab but Jared is in the ropes quickly.Darko backs away as Jared leans on the middle rope, trying to get up. Darko coming with a leg lariat, but Jared moves. Darko crotches the second rope. He gets a body slam for his time, and Walsh is in control. He tags in Lake who goes up top and nails a beautiful moonsault splash. The cover

One...

Two...

Shoulder up at two and 3 quarters. Darko is hurt. Lake allows him to climb to his corner, but no ones there. Young is still down and has blood trickling down his head from the chair. Lake see Darko get up and turn around. Hurricanrana on Darko. A two count as Darko barely escapes. Lake makes a tag to Jared and they are going for there tandem move: The End of a Short Rope. Ainsley monkey flips the helpless Darko into one vicious Jared clothesline. He goes for the pin, though they're near the ropes.

One...

Two...

Jared is pulled out of the ring by Young. Jared lands face first on the floor. Young grabs him up and sends him sailing into the ring steps.Young is back in the corner. At the same time Lake is checking on Jared. And also Sharplin is up to a count of four. Darko tags in Young. Counts up to six...seven...eight...

Lake rolls him in at the count of nine a barrage of punches come Jared's way. Thomas Young is pissed at the sight of his own blood and is going crazy. Jared is covering up as Sharplin steps in, and stops Young. He is admonishing Young. With this going on Lake pulls Jared to the corner and the tag is made. Lake is a house of fire, almost. Sharplin stops her. He didn't see the tag. Lake is irate and should be. Jared is pulled to the Royal corner as Darko is tagged in. Darko picks Jared up and it's PINE ON THE SPINE... What a spine buster. Shades of Ron Simmons in that move. Darko tags in Thomas and tells him to go up top. Darko is holding up Jared on his shoulders. They are going for the Drawbridge.

BILL HEWSON: Say doesn't Darko usually fly through the air with this move?

JACK JONES: Yeah..

Darko is shaky with Jared and Jared rolls through but can't pin, Darko isn't legal. Young sees it and is just standing there. Lake comes over and shakes the ropes. Crotch first on the top rope. Darko is on the outside of the ring and he has a cell phone under the ring. What is he doing. Thomas is on the mat and sees Darko's thumb go up but can't see Darko, who is crouching down, out of Sharplin's view. Young is calling the ref over. He is complaining about the illegal crotch shot. Lake is back to her position as Jared is in the middle of the ring.

BILL HEWSON: Sharplin is crouched down checking on Young who is selling his injury for more than it's worth.

JACK JONES: You must not have balls, if you think he is over selling a crotching on the top turnbuckle.

BILL HEWSON: Lake just got hit by a fan. She is down on the ground. The fan is in the ring.

JACK JONES: THAT'S JEFF JAMES. JAMES EFFECT ON WALSH. What agility.

Thomas is OK now as James is in the crowd. Thomas quickly covers Jared for a

ONE...

TWO...

THREE!!!

FRANK WARBURTON: Here are YOUR winners, and the Tag Team NUMBER ONE CONTENDERS... THE ROOOOOYAL FOUNDATION!

BILL HEWSON: DAMNIT... THOSE NO GOOD SONS OF B-

JACK JONES: Beautiful women. Anyway... what a showing by The Royal Foundation--and now they're on tthe road to Tag Team Gold! Hey nerds, go to NAPW.ca and discuss who should win, them or D-X... we'll be playing commercials while you do!

Backstage, interviewer extraordinaire Bob stands by with Dextro.

BOB: I understand you have something to say to all of the NAPW fans.

DEXTRO: (Slurp.)

Meanwhile, back at ringside...

JACK JONES: I couldn't believe I ate the whole thing.

BILL HEWSON: You sir, are a monster.

JACK JONES: Only on Thursdays.

BILL HEWSON: Well then it's a good thing Action! is on Fridays these days... welcome back to Tuesday Night Fights. It's been one hell of a show tonight, but we are just moments away from one of the most anticipated matches of our show. It will be the first-ever meeting between "The Nexus One" Rex Caliber... and the current Provincial Champion, "The Lemondrop Kid" Lloyd Rees. And it will be a submissions match. Drop some science on us, Jack Jones.

JACK JONES: Lloyd Rees & Rex Caliber have been across the ring from each other twice before in tag team situations. Waaaaay back in March, they were on opposite sides in the big War Games match-up. They didn't tie up too much, but the second time was just weeks ago on Pacific Fight Night, Rex & The New & Improved D-X against Rees, S.A.D and Patrick Bickle. And in that match, thanks to an assist from The Beast, Rex Caliber hit the Planetary Collision and scored a pinfall on the Provincial Champion!

BILL HEWSON: And that's what has led us here to this match. Rex Caliber wants a shot at the Provincial Championship, and Rees is, well, ducking him. Lloyd Rees says that if Rex Caliber wants a shot at the Provincial Title, he has to earn one... by winning a submission match. Rex Caliber is a two-time Heavyweight Champion and a Tag Team champion, and he is the #1 contender to D!'s Heavyweight title. What exactly does Rex need to do to "earn" a title shot from Lloyd Rees?

JACK JONES: Do exactly what you said, Hewson, beat Lloyd Rees in a submission match! And the one thing nobody's mentioned or talked about, but if Lloyd Rees beats Rex Caliber tonight - and I'm confident he will - then Lloyd Rees would become the #1 contender. Am I right, Bill Hewson?

BILL HEWSON: You're absolutely right, Jack ---

JACK JONES: Of course I'm right! And then, we will have an unprecedented match. First time ever, the Provincial Champion will challenge the Heavyweight Champion! "The Lemondrop Kid" Lloyd Rees can hold the top two titles in New Alberta Pro!

BILL HEWSON: Before he starts thinking about D!, Lloyd Rees needs to stay focused on his opponent tonight...

"MORE HUMAN THAN HUMAN... SICKER THAN SICK!"

BILL HEWSON: That man right there! "THE NEXUS ONE" REX CALIBER IS HERE!

The pop is ROAD WARRIOR-like, as the thousand+ fans in attendance packing the Polish Hall explode for Rex Caliber. Caliber strides out to the top of the ramp, an expression of complete focus on his face. He adjusts his wrist tape and begins the long walk to the ring.

FRANK WARBURTON: The following non-title contest is the SUBMISSIONS MATCH! Introducing first, hailing from Parts Unknown, North Carolina. He stands at six-feet, three inches tall and weighs in as the 245 lb (BLEEP)HAMMER! The two-time Heavyweight Champion... Ladies and gentlemen, he is "THE NEXUS ONE"... REX... CAALLLLLIBERRRRRRRR!

BILL HEWSON: And these fans are deafening! Only one man rivals Rex Caliber's popularity with the NAPW fans, and that man is the champion D!... but listen to this ovation!

JACK JONES: WHAT?

BILL HEWSON: I said LISTEN TO THIS OVATION?

JACK JONES: ...WHAT?

BILL HEWSON: Rex Caliber is focused, and boy, does he look more intense then we have seen him in some time.

Caliber takes a corner, raising one arm high. He is unusually focused, his brow furrowed. His cross-eyes are slightly askew, but there is no question: The man is pure intensity right now. X- Ecutioners fade out, and why not? You could barely hear it anyways over the chants of "REX! REX! REX! REX!" Caliber stands in the center of the ring, looking out, almost surprised by this outpouring of support.

BILL HEWSON: Of course, rumours swirling that Rex Caliber is contemplating retiring from professional wrestling to devote time to his family... these fans letting him know how much they mean to him! He is here, right now, and ready for a fight.

The crowd applauds. Realizing there is little chance of the crowd quieting down, the technicians cue up the next song. Harry Hibbs' rendition of "Fighting 59" can only mean one man. The outpouring of boos tell you who. He steps out, an evil, arrogant smirk on his face. Provincial Title around the waist of the man wearing the "FREE NFLD" t-shirt...

FRANK WARBURTON: And now, introducing his opponent. He hails from Bell Island, Newfoundland and is accompanied to the ring by Ol' Salty! Standing six-feet, one inch tall and weighing in at two- hundred and forty-seven pounds... the three-time and current reigning Provincial Champion... he is East-Coast Sensation... "The Lemondrop Kid"... LLOYD! REEEEEEEEEEEES!

JACK JONES: Did you hear that, Hewson? The THREE-TIME Provincial Champion! "The Lemondrop" Kid is the most decorate NAPW wrestler in history! Three-times the Provincial Champion, one-time the Television Champion, and soon, the Heavyweight Champion!

BILL HEWSON: Should he defeat Rex Caliber tonight, Lloyd Rees will very well be in line for a Heavyweight Title shot. But remember, Rex Caliber has already CLAIMED his shot as #1 contender... it will be Rex Caliber vs D! one week before our anniversary show on October 24th!

JACK JONES: Listen to these morons, booing Lloyd Rees like this. Edmontonians really don't appreciate success... no wonder The Moose left town.

BILL HEWSON: The Lemondrop Kid, giving away the Provincial Title... and of course the x-factor, the manager Ol' Salty at ringside. He has been instrumental in many of Lloyd Rees' victory. When you're wrestling Lloyd Rees, you always have to watch your back with that man Ol' Salty on the outside.

JACK JONES: Are you insinuating that The Lemondrop Kid is a cheater?

BILL HEWSON: Hardly insinuating... there's the bell, this contest is now underway!

Rex Caliber & Lloyd Rees stand nose to nose in the center of the ring, Lloyd Rees putting the badmouth on Rex Caliber. Caliber is stone-faced, not taking his eyes away from Rees.

BILL HEWSON: Nose-to-nose, and you can see these two men are evenly matched physically... But you can see Lloyd Rees trying to get the psychological advantage over Rex Caliber, talking trash --- Rex Caliber opens up! Rex Caliber isn't going to wait, he's going to tear Lloyd Rees apart before this night is over!

JACK JONES: This is a submission match, why's he punching him?

BILL HEWSON: Because Rex Caliber doesn't just outwrestle you, he beats the hell out of you! Lloyd Rees sent to the ropes, Rex Caliber with the irish whip --- Lloyd Rees reverses, here comes Caliber, back body drop --- Caliber boots Lloyd Rees in the breadbasket, and HE'S GOING FOR THE NEXUS CLOVERLEAF! Caliber going for his version of the Texas Cloverleaf, and Lloyd Rees quick to make the ropes!

JACK JONES: Talk about evenly matched, both of these men use the Texas Cloverleaf in their arsenal. Of course, Lemondrop Kid's "Lance Cove Leglock" is more effective than the "Nexus Cloverleaf", but what about the champion instinct of Lloyd Rees? He got to those ropes immediately.

Back to the feet, Rex Caliber & Lloyd Rees tie-up. Caliber twists into a hammerlock, only to have Lloyd Rees counter that. Caliber rolls forward, sending Lloyd ahead of him... RINGS OF REX attempt! The crowd goes batty, but Lloyd Rees has his hands locked, refusing to allow Rex to get it on completely... waitaminute! Lloyd suddenly shifts, rolls Rex Caliber up --- there's no pins, of course --- But Lloyd wasn't trying to pin, he was trying to get to Rex's legs! Lloyd going for the Lance Cove Leglock! He's trying to hook the legs, CALIBER won't let him get it fully applied! Rex pulls Lloyd forward and then both men separate, returning to their feet. The crowd gives them a round of applause, recognizing the wrestling ability. Yes, even of the hated Lloyd Rees.

Of course, since he IS "The Lemondrop Kid", Rees leans over the top rope and tells the crowd where they can stick it. RIGHT UP HIS EAST-COAST ASS. BOOOOOOOOOOO --- Caliber rocks him with a right hand! YAYYYYYYY! Another big right hand has Lemondrop dizzy... Caliber shoves him forward and to the top rope, reaching up!

BILL HEWSON: Rex Caliber's going for the MUSCLE BUSTER, and Lemondrop is fighting for his life! Oh, and a thumb to the eye to make sure Rex can't deliver Total Annihilation. Here comes Lloyd Rees --- Caliber with the Rings! He's almost --- it's locked in --- Rees gets his foot on the bottom rope in a hurry. Both men trying to gain an early submission here in this contest.

JACK JONES: Rex Caliber needs to recognize that he needs to wear down Lloyd Rees an awful lot more if he intends to win this match.

BILL HEWSON: On only two occasions has Lloyd Rees tapped out, both times to Evan Cartwright during that epic feud earlier this year. Rex Caliber has never tapped out, he has never lost a match by submission.

JACK JONES: There's a first time for everything, Bill Hewson.

Caliber wearing down Lemondrop with an arm lock, putting pressure on the shoulder, trying to soften it up for the Rings. Lemondrop reaches up and slaps Rex in the side of the head. He starts to take his feet, getting behind Rex and going for a back suplex! He drops Rex Caliber on the back of his head, then waits... Caliber gets up, dazed, Lloyd hits the ropes for a lariat --- Caliber ducks and THE RINGS! Again! Rees fighting it, and this time Ol' Salty grabs his man's leg and puts it on the bottom rope. The referee only sees the foot on the bottom rope, and then he forces Rex to release the hold. Caliber gets up, arguing. He sends Lloyd to the ropes, reversed, Rex comes off --- tripped up by Ol' Salty! Rex stumbles forward... inverted atomic drop by Rees, followed up with a HUGE lariat! Caliber goes down, and Rees... he's going for a submission! He's got a leg-lock applied... but the referee isn't paying attention? What's this? The referee is yelling at Ol' Salty! Salty playing innocent as the referee tells him to stay out of the match... Lloyd releases the leg-lock and gets up, eyes bugging out of his head in anger. John Sharplin has a newfie on the outside yelling at him, one on the inside yelling at him... and then he has enough! Sharplin makes a clear signal, to which the crowd roars: He's ejecting Ol' Salty!

BILL HEWSON: John Sharplin isn't going to let Ol' Salty ruin this great match-up... he is OUTTA here!

JACK JONES: What? He can't do that! It's not Salty's fault Rex's leg happened to get caught on his arm!

BILL HEWSON: Oh, be serious! This crowd loves it, and now, we can get down to a one-on-one match-up!

Salty is going to the back, cursing a blue-streak. Lloyd Rees yells at Sharplin and turns around, grabbing Caliber by the ears and pulling him up --- Caliber knocks his hands away! He fires a right hand! Lloyd fires back, ducked, Rex Caliber locks the hands around the waist... and pops the hips! GERMAN SUPLEX! Caliber is HOLDING ON... he's going for two German Suplexes, rolling them like Chris Benoit! Lloyd however fires an elbow back, trying to get out of it... Rees with a standing switch, going for a German Suplex of his own! He hauls Caliber up --- Caliber shifts his balance forward, rolling Rees up! No pinfalls, but Rex is well-aware! He stands up, turns around, locking the legs... HE'S GOT HIM! NEXUS CLOVERLEAF APPLIED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!

BILL HEWSON: There's no Ol' Salty to help him now! Nexus Cloverleaf locked on, and look at the face of Lloyd Rees! The pain he's in, how long can he withstand it?

JACK JONES: I... I don't know! C'mon Lemondrop, you can get out of this!

BILL HEWSON: Look at the face of Rex Caliber! He's so intense, he's wrenching back on the hold, sitting back, bending the back of Lloyd Rees in a manner it's not supposed to bend! Good Lord! But Lemondrop Kid, he's trying to hold on, trying to reach back and grab Caliber's ankle... wait a minute! Lemondrop Kid trying to get forward, trying to crawl... can he make the ropes... he grabs them!

JACK JONES: Heart of a champion, Bill Hewson!

BILL HEWSON: Rex Caliber has no choice but to break the hold, but look at this! Caliber breaks it, and then pulls Lemondrop right back out into the center of the ring! He's reapplying the Cloverleaf --- wait a minute! Lemondrop just reversed it, knocking Caliber down, face-first to the canvas... and now Lemondrop has Rex's legs! He stands up... Cloverleaf now on REX CALIBER! And now Rex Caliber is in danger of tapping out in this submission match!

Lloyd Rees yells "Tap th' mat, ya (BLEEP)in' larry!" Caliber holds on, reaching for the ropes, Lloyd walks forward, pulling him away from the ropes! Caliber shakes his head "no" as Sharplin asks, holding his fists in his face, trying to fight through the pain. Caliber roars... and begins to push-up! Lloyd shakes his head back and forth, trying to deny it... but Caliber will not be denied! Caliber has used his arm-strength to push-up like a madman, and then he rolls over, sending Rees off-balance and to the canvas! The hold is broken, but Lloyd Rees comes back to the attack right away. He throws some big fists into Rex's head, frustrated. Rex is down, breathing heavily, and Lloyd Rees says "It's over!" He goes to ring apron, through the ropes... up! SPRINGBOARD! CORKSCREW MOONSAULT! The Fresh Water Flip... hits KNEES!

BILL HEWSON: Rex Caliber is alive! He got the knees up on instinct, but now both men are down! And while this is a submission match, if neither man can continue, then it will be a draw! John Sharplin making the standing ten-count!

JACK JONES: Well, if it's a draw, then Rex Caliber won't earn a Provincial Title Shot... stay down, Lloyd!

BILL HEWSON: Both men are down! This has not been a big impact move contest, but they have expended so much energy trying to wear the other man down, trying to make the other man submit! The first man back to his feet will have the advantage!

It's at four, and Lloyd Rees has rolled over... five... six... Rex is stirring... seven... Lemondrop Kid is to his feet. He's holding his gut, wincing in pain, but he pulls Rex Caliber up... big chop! WHOOOOO! Right across the bare chest of Rex Caliber, and then Lemondrop sends Rex Caliber to the ropes, followed up with a big forearm shot that sends Rex spilling to the ring apron. Caliber begins to drag himself up, but Lloyd steps out to the ring apron as well... what's this? Lloyd grabs the inverted front face-lock! He sneers at the crowd and yells --- DDT FROM THE GREEN!

BILL HEWSON: God almighty! Lloyd Rees just... the DDT from The Green, right on the corner of the ring canvas! Rex Caliber's body rolls to the concrete, what a sick move from Lemondrop Kid! And you know he just softened Rex up for the Conception Bay Chinlock, that Dragon Sleeper of his! Rex Caliber is hurt, and the momentum of this match has just swung in the favor of the Provincial Champion!

JACK JONES: And remember something, Bill Hewson! Rex Caliber took out Devastation with a similar move to that... it took a Muscle Buster on the ring apron for Rex to win his second Heavyweight title!

Lemondrop takes a moment to insult the fans in the front row... oh geez, he just spat on Rex Caliber. Zero respect from Lemondrop Kid towards his opponent. He grabs Rex Caliber up... Gorilla Press! Huge show of strength by Lemondrop Kid, he likes to drop this into a Snowplow --- no! He just dropped Rex Caliber throat first onto the security railing! Caliber kicking his legs in pain, holding his throat.

BILL HEWSON: Lloyd Rees is a vicious, sick individual, but he is on the offensive right now in this contest. Rex Caliber's throat obviously damaged right there, and Jack Jones you know as well as anyone: If you can't breathe, you can't wrestle.

Rex Caliber rolled back into the ring by The Lemondrop Kid. Rees follows him in, going to the choke hold. Referee begins his count, one, two, three, four, Rees breaks it up, flashing an ugly smile at the referee. Lloyd goes right back to the choke, one, two, three, four! Again Rees breaks it up, but clearly he knows Rex Caliber is weakened. Caliber slow to his feet. Rees is watching him, watching him... he's got him from behind! He hooks, going for the Dragon Sleeper! But Caliber with a sudden burst of energy, desperation perhaps, manages to turn things around... Release German Suplex! Lloyd Rees flips in mid-air and lands on his chest and belly! Rex Caliber however, too tired to capitalize, leans in the corner. Rees gets up, shaking the cobwebs loose. He charges at Rex! Rex side- steps, sending Lloyd face-first into the corner! A pick-up, muscle buster attempt --- Lloyd Rees desperately fires away at Rex's head! Rex can't get the grip needed for Total Annihilation... waitaminute! He throws a shot to Lloyd's head, grabs the mans legs... POWERBOMB? No, he steps over! STYLES CLASH! The crowd goes BANANA.

BILL HEWSON: Rex Caliber just nailed the Planetary Collision! That's the move he used to pin Lloyd Rees weeks ago in the handicap match at Pacific Fight Night!

JACK JONES: But this is a SUBMISSION match, Hewson! He can't pin the man, even if he is dumb enough to try!

BILL HEWSON: It sure is a submission match --- THE RINGS OF REX! They're locked on! Lloyd Rees has nowhere to go! Rex Caliber locked on like a pitbull, he's damn near going to tear Lloyd's arms out of their sockets! And how do you make the ropes when both of your arms are locked behind you like that?

JACK JONES: Come on, Lloyd, don't lose this way!

BILL HEWSON: Lloyd Rees to his credit, holding on, but he can't reach the ropes with his feet! He's in a world of trouble --- wait a minute! That's our owner, Joseph Winchell! Joseph Winchell just blasted Rex Caliber from behind! This is a submission match, that's the only way the match can end, there's no disqualification! And Lloyd Rees has not tapped out... the owner hates Rex Caliber so much! He hates the fact that he's so popular! He resents him, he's envious of him, and we just saw Joseph Winchell use the Provincial title belt on the back of Rex Caliber's head to break it up. This is disgusting.

Blood is pouring from the back of Rex Caliber's head as Joseph Winchell looks down, pure hate emanating from his eyes. He helps Lemondrop to his feet, and then tells Lemondrop to finish Rex. "BREAK HIS NECK, CHAMP!" Lemondrop is only too happy to oblige. Winchell spreads the title belt on the canvas as Lemondrop puts Rex on the top rope. He's going for the Wabana Buster! This is going to be over...

BILL HEWSON: Lemondrop's going to break Rex's neck! The superbrainbuster off the top, and he's going to do it on the Provincial Title belt! Rex had this match won when Winchell came in --- wait a minute! Look who it is, Jones!

JACK JONES: No--that's impossible! IMPOSSIBLE!

BILL HEWSON: The Man In Black is here and has hit the ring! Winchell doesn't see it, he came from the crowd! The Man In Black --- he nails Lloyd Rees from behind! What's this --- GERMAN SUPLEX on Lloyd Rees! Lloyd was on the top! Good God! And Winchell is furious! He just hit the Man In Black from behind... no effect!

JACK JONES: HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE STEIN! Run, Joseph, run!

BILL HEWSON: The owner of the company is TERRIFIED, he's running for his life, the Man In Black giving chase! Thank God for the Man In Black, but now we are back to one-on-one... Rex Caliber on the top rope, dazed, Lemondrop Kid is prone in the center of the ring...

JACK JONES: What the hell is Caliber doing? He's not a high-flyer, Hewson!

BILL HEWSON: Rex Caliber... has stood up on the very top rope! And he... FLIES! DIVING HEADBUTT! He connects! Can he capitalize?

JACK JONES: He's too weakened, Hewson! He can't get the Rings on right away!

Caliber is tired, but then... he gets to his feet! CUTTHROAT gesture! Lloyd Rees is trying to crawl to his knees, even... Caliber grabs him! Rex Caliber hooks the leg, high-cradle suplex coming up --- Rees blocks! Shot to the gut of Rex Caliber, Caliber tries again, Rees somehow with the energy to block the move. Rees reaches up and rakes the eyes of Rex Caliber to break the hold. Rees bounces off the ropes and comes off with a lariat --- Caliber reverses INTO THE RINGS OF REX! He's got it locked on, can he... Rees flips over, into a pinning situation, no pins count, Rees going for the Cloverleaf again! Rex Caliber won't let it happen, he twists and sends Lloyd sprawling! Lloyd stumbles, turns around, RUNNING STO FROM CALIBER --- Wait a minute! Lloyd Rees counters into a Complete Shot, a Flatliner! How did he do that? Caliber is dazed, but he gets up --- Lloyd swings and misses, Caliber gets a rear waist lock, german suplex --- Rees fires a back elbow to the face again! Standing switch, German Suplex from Rees? NO! CONCEPTION BAY CHINLOCK!

BILL HEWSON: The dragon sleeper! The Dragon Sleeper is locked on! Caliber is fighting! He's fighting the hold! He has to prevent Lemondrop from getting the leg grapevine on! He's trying to make the ropes, trying to move forward, a hand, a foot, anything! He's almost at the ropes... he makes it! The referee calls for the break!

JACK JONES: But he goes right back to it, Hewson! He pulled Rex back into the center of the ring, and now it's locked on again!

BILL HEWSON: Rees just fell back --- he's got his legs grapevined around the waist of Rex Caliber! He's cinched it on, pulling waaaaaay back on the head and neck of Rex Caliber! Look at Rees bobbing his head, trying to inflict as much pain as he can! This crowd chanting "REX! REX! REX!" Can he rally one more time in this match?

Caliber's hand is slumping... the referee pulls it up.

It drops once.

It drops twice.

It drops... NOT THREE TIMES! REX CALIBER IS ALIVE. Rex Caliber's hand is shaking, he's trying to roll, trying to get to the ropes --- Lloyd Rees rolls with him... and wait a minute! Rees rolls another time, and positions himself between Rex Caliber and the ropes! Caliber trying to get a foot back, trying to get a hand on the ropes, even a finger tip... He's barely inches away, but Lloyd Rees isn't letting him go any further! Caliber reaches!

He reaches!

He reaches out, trying to just touch a fingertip...

And then finally, taps out.

BILL HEWSON: Rex Caliber just tapped out! Lloyd Rees has made Rex Caliber tap out to the Conception Bay Chinlock!

JACK JONES: Yes! Yes! I knew it! I told you he could do it, Hewson!

FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner by submission... "THE LEMONDROP KID" LLOYD REEEEEEEEEES!

BILL HEWSON: I never thought it would happen, but The Lemondrop Kid, tonight, has forced Rex Caliber to tap out. The Provincial Champion has defeated "The Nexus One" Rex Caliber...

JACK JONES: And you know what that means, it means we should have a new #1 contender! The Provincial Champion is on top of the NAPW, Bill Hewson!

In the ring, Lloyd Rees has released his hold. He's lying on his back as the referee raises his arm in victory. Ol' Salty scuttles back and rolls his man out of the ring. He slings one of Lloyd's arms over his and begins to walk him to the back. Lloyd has the Provincial Title belt in his grasp, almost in a death-grip. Lloyd is on dream-street, but he has won the match. In the ring, Rex Caliber is still on the canvas. Sharplin is talking to Caliber, asking him how he's okay. Fade to commercial.

Back from commercial, and Rex Caliber is on his feet, head in the corner, clearly disappointed.

BILL HEWSON: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen. As you can see, Rex Caliber has made it to his feet after that grueling, half-hour contest he just had with "The Lemondrop Kid" Lloyd Rees. And a heartbreaking loss for Rex Caliber...

JACK JONES: Yeah, yeah, let's talk about The Lemondrop Kid now ---

BILL HEWSON: Shut it, Jones. Listen to the crowd!

Rex looks around, as the crowd begins to chant "REX! REX! REX! REX!" They get to their feet ---

"Shut up! Stop chanting! This isn't a Hallmark moment! Don't chant for a loser!"

BILL HEWSON: Oh, great. Here comes our Owner... you'd think HE beat Rex Caliber.

The crowd begins to boo heartily as R. Joseph Winchell III makes his way back out, microphone in hand. He has a gloating smile on his face, clearly elated by the result of the prior match. Caliber gives him the look of death. Winchell smirks and steps into the ring.

JOSEPH WINCHELL: Well, Rex Caliber... it looks like you won't be getting a shot at the Provincial Title anytime soon. And well, you know, you were the #1 contender... so I guess you're not that anymore either! You just LOST, didn't you? You tapped out! To the greatest wrestler never to be crowned Heavyweight Champion, "The Lemondrop Kid!" Even after The Man In Black intefered, it went perfectly! You ---

Rex snatches the mic from Winchell's hand, the crowd roaring.

REX CALIBER: Winchell, you've got about three seconds to get out of this ring before a 245 lb (BLEEP)hammer kicks your sorry white ASS!

The crowd chants "FUCK HIM UP, REX, FUCK HIM UP!" Winchell gulps, but manages to grab the mic back.

JOSEPH WINCHELL: Hold on Rex, before you touch me, remember! If you touch me, you're fired! Fired, Caliber, do you hear me? And you will NEVER, EVER get another shot at the Heavyweight Title --- the Provincial Title --- the TAG titles --- the TV Title --- your career in NAPW is going to be a living hell, Caliber! HAHAHAHA! It's good to be king---kk*

BILL HEWSON: Rex Caliber has heard enough! He just decked Winchell The Third!

JACK JONES: What? He'll be fired!

BILL HEWSON: This crowd is going insane! And wait a minute... Rex Caliber just put Winchell on the top rope! He's got him hooked... MUSCLE BUSTERRRRRRR! And is he gonna... he does! THE RINGS OF REX! Winchell is screaming like a pig! He's screaming in pain, he's submitting, but Caliber isn't letting go!

JACK JONES: I don't believe what I'm seeing!

Caliber holds onto the Rings, wrenching back, you hear a POP from one of Winchell's shoulders as it comes out of the socket! Rex violently releases the hold and stands up to a huge ovation from the crowd. He soaks it in, looking the crowd over, sweat glistening from his body. He grabs the microphone.

REX CALIBER: Hey Joey, hey "Bad Boy"... you can't fire me. I... QUIT!

BILL HEWSON: WHAT?

JACK JONES: WHAT?

Winchell whimpers on the canvas, holding his dislocated shoulder. Caliber throws the microphone down, knowing full well the consequences of his actions... he salutes the stunned crowd and leaves the ring, beginning the long walk to the back. The crowd is abuzz, taken aback.

BILL HEWSON: I think... I think this really is the end of Rex Caliber's NAPW career. He's taking the walk back to the locker room... for the last time?

JACK JONES: He's serious, Bill Hewson! He knew what he was doing, putting his hands on the owner like that... Rex Caliber is done in New Alberta Pro!

BILL HEWSON: We heard Rex Caliber talk about how important being a father has become to him, about how he's accomplished everything he wanted to accomplish in wrestling... but we never expected this... and you can hear the crowd expressing their feelings!

Starts quietly.

"Please don't go"

Louder.

"Please don't go!

It overflows.

"PLEASE DON'T GO!"

"PLEASE DON'T GO!"

"PLEASE DON'T GO!"

"PLEASE DON'T GO!"

Rex Caliber is at the top of the ramp now, head bowed, back to the crowd. Slowly, he turns around, looking over the NAPW faithful one last time, emotional. He looks over, the crowd breaking into a torrent of cheers and applause.

BILL HEWSON: He gave you his heart, he gave you his mind, he gave you his very soul... and for the last time... Rex Caliber is leaving an NAPW ring! Two times he was the champion! He's fought wars, he's been to hell and back, he's had to wrestle his best friend, but he always left everything he had in that very ring... for all of you! Goodbye, Rex Caliber... and thank you!

"WE WILL MISS YOU!"

"WE WILL MISS YOU!"

"WE WILL MISS YOU!"

"WE WILL MISS YOU!"

One last time he looks back.

"WE WILL MISS YOU!"

And he's through the curtain.

"WE WILL MISS YOU"

Fade to black.

BILL HEWSON: Welcome back to NAPW Tuesday Night Fights, and we have what could be a show-stealer of a match coming up next: The reckless, dominating Patrick Bickle squares off against the Hardcore Luchadore... and I can only be talking about one man, the unstable Static!

JACK JONES: Two high-fliers with penchants for ultra-violence getting it on in an NAPW ring? Slap my ass and call me Sally!

BILL HEWSON: No. Let's go to the ring!

DJ Shadow cues up, and that means Bickle. The former Pure Honor champion glides through the entrance way. He stares straight ahead, oblivious to the crowd's jeers (and to the few scattered cheers.) Mr. Maps comes out several steps behind - medical bag in hand. Bickle walks to the ring, one arm hanging seemingly lifeless at the shoulder, a limp in his step. He more or less stumbles into the ring, rolling in and then staggering to his feet.

FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by his personal physician Mr. Maps... from New York City, this is PATRICK BICKLE!

BILL HEWSON: And well, even with the break, Patrick Bickle's body seems to be in as bad shape as ever.

JACK JONES: Are you kidding? He looks ten times healthier than he did three weeks ago. See how his spine has straightened two more degrees?

Bickle slumps in one corner. Boy, he's... really an argument against being a shut-in. Then. Bloodbrothers kicks in. Tangerine Rinds, Scrapped Valentines, CRIMES CRIMES CRIMES... and there he is in the lighting. Static, the paranoid violent son of a bitch. He bops to the ring, soaking in the boos, flashing middle fingers...

FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent! From Windsor Ontario, he is the One Man Crimes Spree... STAAAAAATIC!

BILL HEWSON: Static slides into the ring --- and he jumps Bickle right from the get-go! He doesn't want to give Bickle a chance to get an advantage, Jones!

JACK JONES: Would you? Bickle's the man who had a stranglehold on the Pure Honor division for nearly two months. The man'll take out himself and his opponent just to win a match.

Static is throwing wild lefts and rights into Bickle's head. Bickle isn't even covering up, just passively taking the shots. Static flips off the crowd and fires another right hand into Bickle's face, sending him over the top rope! Bickle crashes down but begins to get his feet up... Static gets a look at him, then hits the ropes. Rebound! Static flies over the top rope with a plancha, taking Bickle down hard! Static gets up, screaming at the front row, before throwing a big boot to the back of Bickle's head. Referee Henry Andrews continues to count, but Static rolls Bickle back in the ring. Bickle crawling on all fours... Static on the ring apron. He leaps up! Springboard off... huracanrana! He gets the full rotation, and hooks the legs for ONE, TWO, Bickle kicks out.

BILL HEWSON: And Static is all over Patrick Bickle so far! Near fall right there after that beautiful huracanrana from the luchadore!

JACK JONES: Shut my mouth. I'd almost forgotten Static is a fantastic high-flier, what with all the screwing going on the past few months. By screwing, I mean using a screwdriver.

BILL HEWSON: Thanks for clarifying. Static has Bickle on the ropes! Facecrusher... ASAI MOONSAULT---Bickle gets the knees up! Static went for it all and got nothing, Jack Jones.

Bickle using the ropes to get to his feet, Static kicking the canvas in pain while holding his stomach. Bickle sees Static's position... running Senton Splash! Not pretty, but functional. Cover gets two before Static kicks out. Bickle, suddenly, doesn't seem to be bothered by any of his nagging injures... the adrenaline is kicking in. Bickle sends Static to the corner turnbuckle. Splash connects! Static staggers out, and Bickle runs from behind with a bulldog! That takes Static down for two. Bickle gets up... what's this? He's in the corner waiting for Static! Static gets up... SPEAR! Fear the Spear, baby! Static is down, and Bickle heads to the top rope! He's feeling froggy --- Static pops up! Static hits the top rope, shaking it and causing Bickle to crotch himself.

JACK JONES: Vienna Boys Choir, here he comes!

BILL HEWSON: Static can take advantage here --- good lord! ENZIGURI! Static ran up the turnbuckle and caught Bickle in the back of the head with a running Enziguri! And look at Bickle, slumped on the top rope.

JACK JONES: Watch Static, Hewson!

BILL HEWSON: What's he gonna do here --- he's climbing the top rope from behind Bickle! OH MY GOD! DRAGONRANA! Dragonrana! We need to see that again! Amazing rotation sending Bickle to the canvas... and now Static back up to the top rope! He's going for it!

JACK JONES: This is it, Bill Hewson! MOMENT!

BILL HEWSON: OF!

JACK JONES: CLARITY!

BILL HEWSON: It connects! Static covers ONE, TWO, THREE----NOOO!

JACK JONES: WhatwhatWHAT?

Static's shocked too, Jonesy. Somehow, someway, Patrick Bickle got his shoulder up at the last possible second. The absolute last split-second. Static is on his knees, eyes wide in his sockets as Andrews flashes the horns to the crowd, making it clear that yes: It was TWO. Static punches the canvas, freaking out. He shoves Andrews to the corner, the junior referee blanching but holding his ground. It was TWO.

BILL HEWSON: We've seen a surprisingly clean match from Static thus far, but he has blown his stack! He can't BELIEVE Bickle kicked out of the Moment of Clarity!

JACK JONES: Neither can we!

BILL HEWSON: And Static... wait a minute! Static just rolled outside the ring --- hey, he shoved Frank out of his chair... oh no, oh no. Static just tossed that steel chair in the ring!

JACK JONES: Well... at least it's not a screwdriver. You gotta look on the bright side, you know?

BILL HEWSON: Patrick Bickle is getting to his feet, but Static has the chair! Andrews trying to convince him not to do it... GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! Did you HEAR that chair shot? He damn near took Bickle's head clean off! There's the bell, this'll be a disqualification...

FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner by DISQUALIFICATION... Patrick Bickle!

JACK JONES: He doesn't look much like a winner, Bill Hewson.

BILL HEWSON: And that Static, that sick bastard --- he's so damn proud of himself. And oh my, Patrick Bickle is busted wide open from that shot.

Static flips over the top rope. He stops to get right in the face of a jeering fan, screaming at him wildly. But in the ring... wait a minute. Patrick Bickle is lying on his back, eyes wide open, blood pouring backwards down his forehead... and he's smiling! He's smiling through the blood! Mr. Maps rolls in the ring, opening his medical bag and going for the gauze. Static, halfway up the ramp, turns around... eyes wide and furious. "You like that, huh, you son of a bitch? You like that? SUCK MY VOODOO!"

BILL HEWSON: Folks, somehow I think the issue between Static & Patrick Bickle is a long way from settled... when we come back, it will be RAVAGER vs D! Don't go any farther than the kitchen...

JACK JONES: Meh. People today have TVs in every room of the house. Lazy sluts.

BILL HEWSON: ... You know, I can't disagree with that one, but still it must be said: WILL YOU STOP?

And we cut backstage to Dextro, hanging out by himself and sucking up the dregs of his Slurpee.

DEXTRO: (Slurp slurp.) (Slurp slurp.) (Slllluuuuurrrrrrrp.)

He chucks his Slurpee cup away.

DEXTRO: All done!

Suddenly, a catering cart--with a bright new Slurpee on it--wheels through the shot and past Dextro.

DEXTRO Heeeeyyyyy, a Slurpee!

Dextro turns to go for it. The Man in Black rushes in from the other side, carrying a baseball bat like a battering ram, nailing Dextro from behind. Dextro is hit square in the back, he screams, and drops to the ground, beneath camera range.

The Man in Black squints through his mask's eyelets, brings the bat up, and swings it down like a HAMMER--we hear a sickening thud as Dextro yelps. The Man in Black takes another shot--and another. And another. We hear no Dextro noises, and so the Man in Black stops, finally exhaling. He gives the prone Dextro a swift kick, then silently stalks off-frame.

And then he comes back on, having retrieved the Slurpee Cup. He the walks off the way he came, after which we hear some slurping noises.

JACK JONES: … And that’s how I won the very first genital submission match.

BILL HEWSON: Why must you fill this show with lies?

“Path” by Apocalyptica plays. Ravager emerges from the back. The boos are substantial, but he only focuses on getting into the ring, walking to the corner, and staring daggers at the entrance, waiting for his opponent.

BILL HEWSON: Main event time! Only there’s no title being fought for here!

JACK JONES: Just the right to live in party central.

BILL HEWSON: You know, a lot of great theatre happens in that area as well.

JACK JONES: Yeah, if you want to call bar fights “street theatre”.

FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall, and it is the “Loser Leaves Whyte Avenue” match! Currently in the ring, weighing in at 210 pounds. From Brooklyn, New York, The White Collar Assassin, RAVAGER!

And the fans express their dislike. Nothing new. But oh so quickly the mood will change!

Right
Before
My Eyes!

D! bursts through the curtain to a massive reaction, but stops when he sees Ravager standing in wait. He jogs to the ring, glad handing fans as he passes, but never takes his eyes off of Ravager.

BILL HEWSON: And here he comes! The man who issued the challenge for this match…

JACK JONES: The man who ducked a title challenge! The championship committee should be doing something about this!

BILL HEWSON: They did. They ruled in D!’s favor.

FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent! From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada! He weighs 210 pounds. He is the Champion of Champions! He is the NAPW Heavyweight Champion! He is the One letter superstar! This is D! !!!!!!!!!

D! climbs into the ring. Ravager just stands waiting. Referee Dick Kiebiech is noticeably nervous, probably expecting a brawl at any second. Ravager walks to center ring, and D! meets him there. A staredown ensues. Neither man saying anything at this point. Just an intense glare between two men who have never been able to get along.

BILL HEWSON: Ladies and gentlemen, almost a year’s worth of pent up aggression is about to be cut loose here. I’m not sure if my words can do this fight justice.

JACK JONES: They won’t. Neither will mine. Why don’t we be fans for once, and just watch?

BILL HEWSON: Can we do that?

JACK JONES: We get paid per show, not by the word. Sure we can.

BILL HEWSON: I can agree to that. Just enjoy the match folks!

The fans are on pins and needles, waiting for things to explode. Kiebiech finally calls for the bell, and Ravager unloads a forearm to D!’s face. D! responds in kind. Then Ravager. Then D! Then Ravager. Any wrestling moves are tossed out the window as the two men wail on each other center ring. Kiebech has no reason to step in, as these are legal blows, but both men start to stagger. Who knew repeated shots to the head could take so much out of a person? Ravager falls back into the corner, and D! takes the opportunity to go for the Stinger splash! Ravager moves, but D! is able to get his hands out, so he doesn’t crash into the turnbuckles. Ravager slaps on a full nelson, trying for the Last Resort! D! slams his foot down on Ravager’s ankle, forcing him to break the hold! D! does a single leg takedown on Ravager, and he’s going for Pleasant Cycling! Ravager uses his good leg to kick D! in the face, and D! tumbles out of the ring. Ravager uses this time to catch his breath, and D! is quickly back up, and he slides back under the bottom rope. Ravager crouches down, ready to pounce. D! stops where he is, takes a defensive posture. Both men slowly circle each other, looking for an opening. Ravager swings with a punch! D! ducks, goes for a kick,, Ravager side steps. D! tries a clothesline, Ravager ducks it, D! hits the ropes, and runs back into Ravager. Neither man budges. (Huh. Never dawned on me that these guys are the same size…) Ravager hits the ropes, runs into D! Again, neither man budges. The frustration is evident on both their faces. Ravager decides to use a new tactic. He rears back and pimp slaps D! The champ? Is somewhat perturbed by this. He lunges at Ravager, only to be met with a knee to the gut. Ravager wastes little time and slaps on a belly to back suplex, and D! crashes to the mat.

BILL HEWSON: A definite advantage for the first time in the match, and Ravager is keen to keep it!

As D! rolls over in pain, slaps on a step over toe hold, then applies the cravate face lock to make the Garrote complete. D! yells in pain as Ravager cinches the move in. Kiebiech asks about a submission, but D! will have none of it. Using all his strength, D! pulls himself, and Ravager over to the ropes. The fans cheer him on, and he is getting so close… And Ravager lets the move go, and drops an elbow across D!’s lower back. The fans boo, but Ravager doesn’t care. Victory is the only thing on his mind right now. He pulls D! to his feet, and goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but D! surprises with a small package! One… Two! Ravager kicks out! Furious, he nearly clotheslines D!’s head off when the champ gets to his feet. Finally showing signs of losing his composure, Ravager goes to the corner turnbuckle and starts to remove the covering. Kiebiech stops this, and reties the turnbuckle pad. This distraction allows Ravager to choke D! with the top rope. But when Kiebiech turns around, Ravager has on a chin lock. The fans very vocally try and explain Ravager’s cheating, but it’s too late. Ravager adds more pressure to the hold, trying to put D! out. The champ flails, trying to shake his opponent off, but to no avail. D! gets to his feet, and drags himself to the corner turnbuckle. He gets his feet on the second turnbuckle, grabs Ravager’s head, then pushes off, giving Ravager a huge Jaw Jammer! Ravager is stunned, the fans are back into it, and D! gets that kick in he was looking for. And another. And another. And yet another. And the song can be heard all throughout Polish Hall as D! lays in the Rockettes Kick of Doom! Finally Ravager has enough and tumbles out of the ring. D! follows, and whips Ravager into the guard rail! Then he follows up with a mafia kick that takes Ravager over the railing into the crowd! D! follows, and the two men are now fighting amongst the fans! Security tries to keep order as punches are traded. D! is getting the better of the fight at this point, and Ravager is simply trying to get back to the ring. Kiebiech lays on the count, but both men are back before the count out. D! is feeling the adrenaline, as he lays in a roundhouse punch. Ravager crumples to the mat, D! covers One… Two… NO! Ravager kicks out! D! looks a little surprised, but keeps up the offensive. He picks up Ravager, only to slam him back to the mat. D! hits the ropes, and comes back with a Hoganesque leg drop. Cover and One… Two…

JACK JONES: Huh, I guess D! forgot to say his prayers, cause Ravager kicks out of that one.

D! drags Ravager up, pushes him to the corner. D! goes to whip Ravager to the other turnbuckles, probably to set up for the Stinger splash! But Ravager gets a drop toe hold on D! D! crashes face first into the bottom turnbuckle! Ravager… SILENCER! He plants his boot smack into the back of D!’s head, as the front row winces! Ravager drags D! off the ropes, lays him on the mat, covers… One! Two… D! gets his shoulder up! Ravager shakes his head. Annoyed, but still weakend from the earlier beating. He tries to re-apply the Garrote, but D! has enough strength to elbow Ravager in the jaw. Ravager stumbles back, and winds up on his butt, sitting against the corner turnbuckles. D! sits against the opposite turnbuckles. Both men try and catch their breath. But they share an intense glare. And then they both get to their feet…

Both men charge out of their respective corners, Ravager tackling D! to the mat, laying in punches! D! rolls Ravager over, and gets in some shots of his own! Kiebiech is going nuts, trying to get the two men apart! Finally they roll to the ropes, and out of the ring, forcing them apart. D! swings for another roundhouse, only Ravager ducks, catches D! with a Russian leg sweep… into the ring steps! D! howls in pain, as Ravager manages a sick grin. Tossing the champ into the ring, Ravager slides in, and lays the boots to D!’s back. Kiebiech warns Ravager to lay off. Ravager makes the mistake of arguing with Kiebiech. D! tries to capitalize… He tries to splash Ravager, but Ravager moves, and catches D! in a full nelson! LAST RESORT!!

The fans scream as D! is crumpled on the mat. Ravager is quick to his feet, but even quicker to make the cover. No wasted time here.

One…

Two…

Three! Ravager gets up to celebrate! But Kiebiech is quick to point out D!’s foot on the bottom rope! Ravager is furious, yelling that he had the match won, but Kiebiech says it must continue. Ravager stomps over to D!, grabs him by the hair… D! rolls up Ravager! One… Two… Ravager kicks out! And is up again, kicking at D! The champ is out of it, but know enough to try and crawl away. Ravager pursues, drags D! up, and tries to Irish Whip him. D! grabs the ropes, Ravager won’t stop pulling, finally he loses his grip and slips, D! gets behind, slaps on a sleeper – NYQUIL DRIVER! Ravager is planted into the mat! And all D! needs to do is get the pin! But the effects of the last resort are still working their magic, as D! slumps to the mat. Kiebiech starts a standing ten count, as both men are hurt, and not moving. As the count reaches five, D! starts to pull himself up on the ropes. At seven, Ravager makes it to his knees. Both men make it up for ten. Barely. Ravager and D! lock up (in a wrestling match? No, it’s true I tell you!) Both men are exhausted, and simply trying to get an opening. Ravager gets a headlock, D! pushes off, Ravager hits the ropes, lunges with a lariat, D! ducks, Ravager turns around into the BEAT O BARRAGE! A series of punches and kicks level Ravager as the fans hit their feet! This one should be over soon, as D! hits the final spinning heel kick, AND RAVAGER IS DOWN! …

And out of the ring. You can almost feel D!’s shoulders slump when he sees Ravager on the arena floor. Kiebiech starts the count.

And D! says:

D!: NO. Let him get back in the ring.

Kiebeich is stunned by this, but stops the count. Ravager has rolled over, and is slowly trying to get up. D! stands waiting, and even holds the ropes open so Ravager can get back in.

D!: You said no excuses. There’ll be no excuses.

Ravager glares, but nods. The two men circle each other once again. D! goes for another lock up, Ravager fakes, delivers a palm strike, startling D! Going for broke, Ravager charges at D!, plowing him into the turnbuckle. Ravager lays in with knees to the gut, before placing D! on the top turnbuckle! He’s going for the muscle buster! No, D! fights it off, but Ravager still keeps control, and pushes D! back. Ravager climbs onto the second turnbuckle… HE’S GOING FOR INSTANT KARMA! But he can’t get D! in the air! D! lays in a punch to Ravager’s kidneys, and pushes Ravager to the mat! D! jumps off the ropes, going for Rammer Jammer, … never mind Ravager moved before I could finish. Both men back to their feet, Ravager slips behind to try for the Last Resort, D! goes to his knees, and flips Ravager onto his back! Ravager springs back up, only to be met with another Beat O Barrage! Ravager falls back, only to be held up by the turnbuckles! D! charges… AND FINALLY HITS THE STINGER SPLASH! Ravager slumps to the mat, D! covers, hooks the leg…

One…

Two…

Three!

And Ravager needs to start apartment hunting.

JACK JONES: NO!

FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of the match… D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BILL HEWSON: Both men kept their word. Ravager kept the match one on one. And D! won.

JACK JONES: This week couldn’t get any worse…

The fans cheer madly as D! mounts the corner turnbuckle to salute the fans. Ravager rolls out of the ring. Kiebiech goes to check on his condition, and is pushed away. Ravager keeps his head down as he walks to the back, ignoring the insults form the fans. Ignoring just about everything. He goes exits through the curtains without even looking at anyone.

But all eyes are on the man in the ring. The champ gets to stay where he belongs. And that’s all that really matters right now.

BILL HEWSON: We’ll be back Friday night for Action! Good bye from Polish Hall!

Tuesday Night Fights – Out.