LETHAL LOTTERY10/03/2006LETHAL; definition states it to be: gravely damaging or destructive. LOTTERY; definition states it to be: 1: a drawing of lots used to decide something, usually a prize. 2 : an event or affair whose outcome is or seems to be determined by chance LETHAL LOTTERY: An event whose outcome has a chance to be gravely damaging or destructive. An affair of which by chance you could win a prize... in this case a trip to Battle Bowl.
As the entrance music for Lethal Lottery comes to an end, another familiar music begins to play over the speakers of EdmontonÕs Polish Hall. Harry Hibbs rendition of ÒFighting 59Ó instantly brings waves of booing to the NAPW faithful. OlÕSalty emerges from behind the curtain, boos gaining volume now, and then, just what the crowd weÕre dreading The NAPW Provincial Champion walks out Republic of Newfoundland Flag in hand and the NAPW Provincial Title around his waist. The Newfie duo head to the ring, Lloyd slides in and heads to the corner, waving the old Pink, White, and Green and exposing the Provincial strap for everyone to see while OlÕSalty grabs a microphone and heads into the ring. OlÕSalty takes a long haul off his trademark flask and then starts to talk. OlÕSalty: SHUT UP!! Boos ring even louder now. OlÕSalty: Show some respect fer what stands here in front of ya right now! All ye Albertan pieceÕs of trash are witnessing greatness. A history maker! The man that will soon be da only man tÕever hold both da NAPW Provincial Championship and da NAPW Championship, and just incase ya didnÕt hearÉÒDa former NAPW TV Champion, three time, present NAPW, and longest reigning Provincial Champion, da only man in NAPW history tÕwin matches via pinfall, submission, top-rope elimination, count-out, knock-out, first blood, ladder, and a casket full of ketchup, da only man in wrestleÕn tÕmake Rex Caliber tap, ÒDa East Coast SensationÓ, ÒDa Lemondrop KidÓ, da one and da onlyÉLLOYD REES!!Ó Hearing LloydÕs trademark rant coming from OlÕSalty drives the NAPW fans crazy. All types of items are being thrown into the ring, but Lloyd seems to be enjoying every moment of it. OlÕSalty hands Lloyd the microphone and as the booing fans subside, Lloyd starts to speak. ÒThe Lemondrop KidÓ Lloyd Rees: Now dÕhat you a**holes have finally showed a little respect fer ÒDa Lemondrop KidÓ, let me fill you in on a few tingsÉFirst off, you are now lookÕn at da man dÕhat has held dis title fer a record seventy-eight days. I have beat every challenger dÕhat has come me way and dÕhat ainÕt about tÕchange. Da NAPW Provincial Title belongs tÕme, and soon, so will da NAPW ChampionshipÉDÕhatÕs right! On October 11th, yer soon tÕbe ex-NAPW Champion D!, and yers truly are goÕn tÕgo one on one fer da NAPW Championship in a 30 Minute Ironman Match, and dis time da match is goÕn tÕend a little different dÕhan it did on September 12thÉ ÒThe Lemondrop KidÓ Lloyd Rees: Ya see, back on dÕhat wonderful day in September, I taught D! a lesson, and D! learnt just like PavlovÕs Dog dÕhat ya donÕt f**k with or under estimate ÒDa East Coast SensationÓ. Now, almost a month later, D! is about tÕundergo another life changeÕn lesson. Da simple fact dÕhat a 30 Minute Ironman Match is right me ally. Yer lookÕn at da top wrestler in da NAPW tÕday, da technical terror, and da man da is goÕn tÕschool D! fer a whole 30 minutesÉ ÒThe Lemondrop KidÓ Lloyd Rees: But, IÕve wasted enough of me time on ye pieces of trash tÕnightÉI got a party tÕcrash! Wait... We have company! RIGHT. BEFORE. MY. EYES! D! enters to a rowdy crowd, drunk from the tailgate party. D!: You done missed the party bub... I brought you some Real Ale, Alberta beef burgers, a funny email from Jon Tees, and these too admire from a far... D! holds up his two belts. D!: You know what it must be great for a guy like you, a "Newfie" to be in Alberta. You know since Alberta has things like Jobs, Security... WOMEN. Things Newfoundland don't have. Is that why Salty is with you all the time. But anyways I heard you have a plan for the CHAMP. You're going to do this, that, this other thing, a couple other moves and all with Ketchup in 30 minutes of boring repeated promo material. That right? Or do actually have the thoughts of putting me to sleep with that crap, and stealing my belt during my half hour nap. D! gets in the ring and is face to face with Rees. D!: Fact is... You are in a match that is going to test us both in every facet, mentally and physically. 30 minutes is all the time I need to take your best shots, get up from them, ask for more, then reverse what you give me. But to tell you the truth... I'm done talking. D! drops the Mic, but Rees reacts quickly. The punches are flying and then Ol' Salty with an attack from behind. Rees catches D! with the DDT from the Green. CONCEPTION BAY CHINLOCK!! D! IS HURT!! All the refs are at the ring, and trying to pull Rees off. They can't do it. Rees is dominating the champ after a cheapshot from Salty. Rees finally lets go then holds up the Provincial and NAPW belts.
Highlights of the stars in action first is shown on the screen, while you hear this: Strangers... these men aren't strangers. Ravager, the former Provincial Champ, former NAPW champ has teamed with his lottery partner before. It wasn't a career highlight for either man. His partner was king of tag team wrestling, holding the tag titles a record amount of time. Singles success is not a stranger to him either. Former Provincial champ, is now looking toward the Kiniski Cup. These two men face off with Krusty Kid Paul, a stablemate of both men under the Winchell administration. KKP and Evan are part of Violence International. Paul's partner is the man who lost to Evan last week... after a bad call by the referee. Would have North gotten up ten seconds later? Who knows... but tonight will we know who the best is in Violence International? Will Ravager and Evan be better at teaming than a few months ago? Will North overcome his controversial loss? Kill RadioÕs ÒPull OutÓ hits and out from behind the curtain comes a very intense KKP, looking to show to himself, the world, and most importantly Evan that he is no pushover. FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, from Kitchener, OntarioÉKRUSTY KID PAUL! Big pop in the Polish Hall for the always crowd pleasing Gunderson, as he steps out to"A Better Way" by The Salads. He hits the ring, glares at referee Henry Andrews, the same man who cost him his match with Cartwright on Action!, and shares an awkward hand pound with KKP. FRANK WARBURTON: And his tag team partner, accompanied to the ring by Tex, from Denver, Colorado, weighing in at Two-Hundred PoundsÉNORTH! T! GUUUUUNNDEEERRSOOONNN! Sam and Dave blast over the loudspeakers and the NAPW faithful are quick to boo, though a small smattering of cheers can be heard among longtime fans. Cartwright and Ravager head out as a unit. They go to the ring, cool, calm and collected, ready for the LETHAL LOTTERY! FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents, weighing in at an impressive combined weight of Four Hundred Thirty-Two and a quarter pounds, from Cairo, Illinois, and Brooklyn, New York, respectivelyÉ.ÓPERFECTIONÓ EVAAAANNNN CAARTWRIGHHT And RAAAAVAGERR! Starting the action off in the ring is Gunderson and Ravager. North ties up Ravager, spins around behind the smaller man and takes his feet out from under him. Quick to counter is Ravager, as he spins about gets to his feet, hitting an excellent bail-out dropkick, planting both feet square in the sternum of Gunderson, sending both men to the mat. Ravager is up first but is caught by a European Uppercut, and a fall-away hip toss. Ravager bounces right up and walks into another Gunderson hip toss! Ravager gets up, dusts himself off, and moves in on Gunderson. An arm drag attempt by Gunderson is nullified by a vicious inverted neck-breaker by the former NAPW Champeen. He picks his opponent up by the head and plants a stiff DDT, cranium first goes Gunderson to the mat. Ravager contemplates making the tag, but Cartwright is preoccupied, staring at Tex in a quite inappropriate manner! Gunderson takes advantage of his opponentsÕ lack of concentration and rolls up Ravager! ONE, TWO, NO SIR! Ravager barely escapes, but he doesnÕt escape NorthÕs charging Clothesline! Down to the mat goes Ravager! HeÕs up quickly again and from seemingly out of nowhere the Silent Assassin himself hits a match altering Business is Business! Gunderson is laying face up, counting the number of lights that make up the ceiling of the Polish Hall! Ravager makes his tag now to Cartwright, who tries to go for the win right here before his running buddy KKP can even get in the ring! WHEELBARROW! North is in AGONY! He may have even tappedÉif he wasnÕt so close to the ropes, and to his tag team partner! Tag is made and KKP is in the ring. Evan offers his hand to his Violence International brethren. KKP is cautious, but eventually accepts. Evan raises his hand, and tells himÉ.ÓGot ya!Ó KKP has no time to react before Evan spikes his fist right into his throat! ÒUGHHH!Ó comes the bellow of Paul, as he drops to the mat, looking desperately everywhere for air. But all he gets is a sleeper hold! Evan wants to keep the bigger KKP down on the mat and find a way to make him tap. He places a knee on the back of Paul, and shifts from a sleeper to a modified Surfboard! Paul doesnÕt like this, heÕs screaming in pain! Evan wrenches it on, but KKP gets a foot on the ropes to break the hold. Quick boot to the head from Cartwright. KKP struggles to his feet, only to be met with a quite devastating ROARING ELBOW! SHADES OF TANAKA! KKP goes night-night! Or does he? Cartwright looks to put Krusty right into the bottle opener, KKP's own move, but takes far too longÉLOW BLOW! Cartwright can do little but stumble blindly over to Ravager, and make his tag! Ravager is in the ring and heÕs flying right at KKPÉSPINE-BUSTER! KKP wants the cover! ONE! TWO! THRE-SHOULDER! Whoa Nellie, it looked like that Spine-buster was it! KKP tags North Gunderson back in, and North is ascending the turnbuckle. What in the hell is this man thinking? Ravager to his feetÉFLYING CLOTHESLINE? NO! GUNDERSON SAILS RIGHT PAST RAVAGER!...but not before grabbing the back of his head as he went over and nailing him with a ring-rocking BLOCKBUSTER! SENSATIONAL move by North! Cover now! ONEÉTWOÉSAVED BY CARTWRIGHT! Evan is laying the wood to North, and this prompts KKP to charge right the hell in! ItÕs pandemonium, and Henry Andrews looks to damn AFRAID to do anything about it! All four men are in the ring knocking the hell out of each other! Gunderson with a SHINING WIZARD on RAVAGER!! Holy Mackerel! Both men go over the top rope and to the outside, leaving, Evan Cartwright, and Krusty Kid Paul, in the ring togetherÉa recipe for disaster, no doubt about it! KKP is working on Evan, he seems to have him beat! Ravager clotheslines North on the outside. Evan is taking punishment from KKP. But Wait! He ducks a punch and slides behind KKPÉGERMAN! GERMAN! GERMAN! Evan smiles and covers Paul. ONE! TWO! THREE! FRANK WARBURTON: HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS, ÒPERFECTIONÓ EVAAANNN CAARRTWRIGHHT and RAAAAAVAGGGGEERRRRR! Wait a damn minute! Neither one of those guys was even legally in that match! What the hell was Andrews looking at, thatÕs the SECOND STRAIGHT WEEK he cost North T. Gunderson a possible victory, and this time heÕs cost him a shot at the NAPW title! KKP is pissed off in the ring and is in Andrews face. Andrew jets to the back, but Cartwright and Ravager are all smiles as they walk up the ramp to the locker room. Their tickets punched for tonightÕs BATTLEBOWL!
The burning sensation is still there. The fire. Usually a figurative term used to describe deep disdain, and even hate. This isn't figurative and is literally the case for "Outlaw" Patrick Kidd. One week ago, a Pure Honor's match ended, and Kidd's eyesight went up in smoke. The seemingly handicapped Outlaw would not take the advice of others. Kidd with his eyesight still not 20/20, and bright lights deterring him further... WILL COMPETE IN LETHAL LOTTERY! But with his partner, the very man who blinded him: The Superstar himself. They step in the ring with the hottest wrestler in the NAPW, the current NAPW Television Champion: The Yellow Chicken. His tag team partner is a man who has to evolve in his wrestling style to simply survive, Mr. Patrick Bickle. One week before they go into huge matches at Hostile Hangover... they take on a vision impaired, fearless Outlaw, and the Superstar who impaired his vision. Who will survive? "The Chicken Song" brings out the NAPW Television champ. He looks happy and is showing off the Chicken logo on the belt. He slaps hands with fans and dances toward the ring. The fans are going crazy for the prince of poultry. FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first weighing in at Two hundred Sixty-Five pounds, the current NAPW Television Champion: THE YELLOOOOOOOWW CHIIIIIIICKENN!! Broken Social Scene begins playing "Ibi Dreams of Pavement", the crowd is confused expecting DJ Shadow to bring out Bickle. Mr. Maps leads the way and Patrick Bickle comes out. In his effort to evolve into the new Bickle, has changed his music too.The crowd explodes with cheers and Bickle smiles just a tad bit. FRANK WARBURTON: His Lottery chosen partner hails from New York City, weighs in tonight at One hundred Seventy-Six pounds, the former Kiniski Cup holder, PAAAAATRIICK BIIIIIICCKKLLE!!! Alice in Chains starts up, and boos reign down like Hitler's entered a Jewish barmitzvah. Tommy, Thomas, Tom Deathrow, the man with several names and several moves of torture looks stoned faced and focused. He believes he is the most dominant man in wrestling and the sexiest too. He has the opportunity to get a shot at the NAPW belt, but must win this match first. FRANK WARBURTON: And- Tommy steals the Mic. TOMMY: Let's get the blind bastard out here and do this (BLEEP)... I got a battle royal to win a little later. With that "Rebirth" plays and Patrick Kidd comes to through the curtain. No cane tonight, but is wearing tinted goggles. He must be shielding the arena lights. Fans take pictures, as they tend to do and he just looks down and holds his hand up to block the flash. No intro for Kidd as Frank was told to leave by Tommy. The ref tonight is Dick Kiebiech. Kidd and Tommy jaw some, with Tommy starting the match. Bickle is ready on the other side. The bell sounds. Tommy and Bickle circle each other. Bickle and Tommy lock up. Bickle goes for a Fujiwara arm-bar quickly and Tommy goes to the ropes. Dick calls for the break, which he gets. Bickle cracks his neck, and Tommy goes over to Kidd. He slaps Patrick Kidd on the chest and it's a tag. Kidd enters staring a hole through Tommy. The two Patricks tie up and Kidd with a side headlock. He slings Bickle down to the mat, retaining the headlock. Bickle gets to the ropes, and Kidd releases the move cleanly. The two rise to their feet. Yellow Chicken is dancing on the ring apron and Kidd gets distracted. Bickle lands a dropkick to the knee of Kidd. Bickle moves quickly with a side mount on Kidd. He locks Kidd legs together for an attempt at a Bow and Arrow. Tommy comes in to stop it. Tommy kicks the head of Bickle. Tommy then leaves the ring. Deathrow really wants to win, and is showing it. Bickle tags in Yellow Chicken. He goes to the downed Kidd and Kidd with a leg trip. He turns Chicken over and grabs his legs. He flips with them into a pinning position. ONE. TWO. NO SIR... Chicken is kicks out. Kidd doesn't stop and drops an elbow that MISSES. Chicken nails a Peck or head-butt if you will. He hit's another to Kidd who is on his knees. Kidd tries to get up and Chicken nails with a right hand. Kidd falls backward into his corner and turns around, slapping Tommy. Tommy curses him, but Chicken comes over and puts their heads together, for a double Noggin Knocker. Tommy flies off the apron. Kidd is down and rolls outside. Bickle sees his opportunity. He is in the ring, he... he... does the chicken dance? Double Chicken Dance in the ring. Tommy is back in. He is exchanging punches with his opponents. Kidd rolls in. Dick is losing control of the match. Kidd runs and nails TOMMY WITH A CLOTHESLINE. Chicken and Bickle move away. Kidd looks up, moves his goggles up, and sees Chicken and Bickle, then looks down at Tommy. He tells Tommy: "I thought you were them" and goes to his corner. Bickle returns to his corner. Chicken locks on the Fujiwara arm-bar and Tommy can't escape his like he did Bickle's. Kidd in for the save. Chicken gets up, as Kidd leaves. He drags Tommy to his corner, lands a head-butt and tags in Bickle. He holds Tommy's arm out and Bickle clubs it. Then does an arm wringer. Bickle scoops Tommy up and slams him hard. Dropping a leg drop on the arm of Tommy. Bickle tries it again and MISSES. Tommy pops Bickle in the face with a boot. Bickle is on the mat and it's T...N...T!!! Total Nonstop Tommy. Tommy finishes it up and drops a knee on the still taped shoulder of Bickle. And another knee. He keeps the knee there, grabs the arm and stretches Bickle. Chicken in for the save, but Kidd stops him. Kidd knew what was coming. Yellow Chicken and Kidd going toe to toe, crowd erupting. The ref is trying to get them out of the ring. Tommy looks pissed. He lets go of the move, clocks Chicken and pushes Kidd. TOMMY: I had him beat. The ref can't see him tap with you in the God Damned ring. School boy, Drop kick combo from Chicken and Bickle on Deathrow. ONE. TWO. Kidd with the save. Tommy fights them off and goes for a tag. Kidd comes in, goes after Bickle's shoulder. CATTLE MUTILATION!! Bickle is yelling in pain. Tommy is chasing Chicken around the ring, trying to make sure he doesn't get involved. Bickle is hanging on. Yellow Chicken climbs on top, as the beer drinking Tommy is out of gas. FLYING HEAD-BUTT!! The mutilation ends as Kidd has gotten hit hard. Chicken rips off the goggles, then gets Bickle to the corner and they tag out. Kidd gets put in the CROSS-FACE CHICKEN WING. Tommy looks for a moment. He smiles at Kidd in pain. Kidd's squinting to see Tommy not helping. Tommy finally breaks it up. Bickle is out of commission in his corner. Tommy is made to leave the ring as Kiebiech has had it with the saves. He warns Tommy that he'll get DQ'ed if he does it again. Kidd crawls for a tag. Tommy tags him. Kidd is holding his head, from the huge head-butt and the loss of oxygen from the cross-face chicken-wing. Tommy charges at Yellow Chicken. Chicken side steps and CROSS FACE CHICKEN WING ON TOMMY. Kidd is going to enter the ring and Dick tells him one more step it's a DQ. Tommy is fading fast. Tommy gets to the ropes. Bickle is calling for the tag. He gets it. Kidd gets one from Tommy. Kidd is squinting.. He no longer has the goggles. He is trying to see who to attack and then he feels someone behind him. Kidd turns around and it's THE CRIMSON TIDE... ON DICK KIEBIECH!!! Tommy is cursing Kidd to no end. Tommy nails Kidd, and Kidd fires back. They are going at it tooth nail, punch after punch. It's going to the floor. Security is out there to stop them from fighting into the crowd. Dick Kiebeich is slowly moving and calling for the bell. FRANK WARBURTON: Winners by disqualification.... THE YELLOW CHICKEN AND PATRICK BICKLE. Security has them under control as this thing isn't over.
The crowd boos as "Dagga" is piped through the sound system. Darko walks through the entrance and doesn't look at the crowd once, just focusing on the ring. FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, weighing in at Two-hundred and Ten pounds, from the Kingdom of Zamunda, he is one half of the Royal Foundation, this is Prince Daaaaaarrrkooooooo! Iron Maiden blasts forth, as the crowd has somebody to cheer. Bruno bursts through the entrance, glad-handing every fan he sees on his way to the ring. Bruno gets into the ring, and offers his hand to Prince Darko. Darko looks at it for a second, and reluctantly shakes it. FRANK WARBURTON: And his lottery partner: weighing in at Two-hundred and Seventy-Five pounds, from Chicago, Illinois! He's big! He's bad! He's Briiiiiaaaannn Bruuuuuunnooooo! "Through the Black" plays, and Thomas Young and Jeff James walk out together, basking in the boos of the fans. FRANK WARBURTON: From Hollywood, Florida, he's Prince Darko's bodyguard and enforcer, weighing in at Two-hundred and Forty-Five pounds, it's Thoooomaaaas Yoouuuuuung! And his lottery partner and brother, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at Two-hundred and Five pounds, he's the former Television Champion, Jeff! Jaaaaames! All four men are in the ring. Young looks at Darko and smirks. Darko doesn't smile back. Instead, he walks to the corner, leaving Brian Bruno in there as the legal man against Thomas Young. John Sharplin calls for the bell, and Bruno and Young lock up! Both teams' power players feeling each other out here. Young manages to get Bruno in a headlock, but Bruno pushes Thomas to the ropes with ease. Thomas calls for a test of strength, and Bruno looks at him like he's crazy. And then shrugs, placing his arms in the air. Thomas locks up, and it's on! Both men, not giving in the slightest! You can see the strain in their faces, but these two are determined not to let the other triumph. Thomas manages to get the momentum, as he pushes Bruno down. But Bruno manages to get back to the middle, and flips Young's arms around, and Young is yelping with pain. Bruno chuckles as Young is trying to escape, but a knee to the gut takes Brian down. Belly to back suplex by Young, and Bruno's on the ground. Young goes to his corner and tags in Jeff James, who races in with a dropkick to the face of Brian Bruno. That's gotta hurt! Bruno writhing in pain as Jeff James with a standing moonsault gets one from Sharplin. Bruno powers out. James still on the offensive, grabs the head of Brian Bruno. Going for a DDT, but Bruno just picks up James for a Gorilla Press Slam! Bruno goes over to his corner and tags in Prince Darko. Darko enters the ring, looking at Jeff James. James smirks, runs to his corner, and tags in his brother. Young steps through the ropes, Darko shakes his head and tags Brian Bruno back in. Jeff James is laughing at Darko, and Bruno's glaring at his partner, but gets back into the ring. Young rushes, but it's a clothesline by Brian Bruno. Young gets back up, undeterred, but he rushes straight into a spine-buster by the big man! Bruno goes to tag Darko, but Darko backs down the ring steps. Jeff James catcalls from his side. "What's the matter, Darko? Afraid we'd beat you?" Darko gets a dark look on his face, but stays where he is. Bruno goes back to Young, only to get a boot to the face. Young with a back suplex on Brian, and Bruno's shaken up here. Thomas picks Bruno back up for another suplex. No, it's a Young Cutter! Bruno's groggy but still moving, as Young tags his brother back in. James looks to Darko, and gives him the finger as he double knee drops the prone Brian Bruno. Jeff with an arm triangle around the neck of Bruno, and he torques it for all he's worth! Brian Bruno's turning blue! John Sharplin checks on Bruno, raising his hand. It drops to the ground. Sharplin picks up the hand of Bruno again, but it drops. No, wait! The hand pushes down on the mat, and Bruno is getting up with Jeff James still with the triangle choke! James isn't liking where this is going! Bruno gets to his feet, and raises Jeff James in the air. POWER-BOMB! You could hear that in Red Deer! The crowd oooohs as Bruno gets to his corner and looks at Prince Darko. Darko looks at the prone body of Jeff James, tightens his jaw, and holds out his hand. Tag to Darko! The crowd's on their feet--Darko slips through the ropes and head straight for James! He picks the former TV Champ to standing... and then tosses him roughly into his corner! Pacing like a regal tiger, Darko practically growls at his best friend Thomas Young to make the tag! Darko doesn't want the weakened James, and as far what Young wants, well... he makes the tag. The crowd swells as Thomas Young steps out, and with a smirk on his face, strides up to his usual partner, practically leading by his chin. Darko shrinks into a "shoot" position, giving him an all-business stare as he starts to shuffle around Young--and Young just cockily starts swinging is arms around as he counter-circles Darko. Young lashes out--and Darko slaps his arm away, feinting with a lunge that he doesn't take. Young balls up his fists and holds 'em up, Irish-style, taunting Darko to take the next move... and so Darko closes his fists, looking like he's gonna throw down, too! And here comes the blow--Darko hits a solid jab--right into Young's fist! Young yelps something unbroadcastable and shakes out his hand... then fists up again and punches Darko in the knuckles. Darko grimaces, then winds up and socks it to Young's knuckles, stiff enough for the back row to hear. Young retaliates, practically crushing Prince Darko's knuckles! What's going on? Brian Bruno looks on helplessly from the tag rope as he watches the two members of the Royal Foundation play "Bloody Knuckles"! And now the crowd's encouraging this, as the jerks in the front row have everyone chanting "POW!" every time they take a shot. The Royals go back-and-forth with their brutal slap-fight, culminating in Darko spinning around three-hundred-and-sixty degrees to Sunday Punch Young's bruised knuckles, Masato Tanaka-style--"WHOOOOOOOAH POW!" Young's hand practically goes double-jointed from the impact, and he reels back wards, swearing profusely--BLIND TAG FROM JEFF JAMES! He's on the top turnbuckle--FLYING! PUNCH! TO THE KNUCKLES! Prince Darko flies back, writhing on the mat and covering his hand. Jeff, having been bought some rest time by Young, capitalizes by kicking the prone Darko's head like a stray soccer ball. Darko rolls over and somehow splays his arms across the bottom rope--Sharplin sees it and orders James back for a breather. James resignedly lets the ref move him back wards, but then breaks away, hits the ropes, and comes back charging--Sharplin dives for cover--into a rising Darko, going high with a Jeff James-Patented Jumping Super-kick! Darko, looking glassy, teeters and then weebles to a rising Jeff James--HEY NOW! SPINE-BUSTER! Prince Darko with a DESPERATION Spine-buster lays him out, BOTH men collapsed! Sharplin hovers over both men--they're not moving! He starts instituting a count here, checking for double-knock-out. ONE! Brian Bruno's eyes bug out of his head as he desperately leans in for a tag. TWO! Thomas Young's straining against the ropes, his hand out, calling out James' name. THREE! Both men are still out. FOUR! Still out! This looks BAD. FIVE! Thomas Young's stamping his foot on the apron, getting the crowd to do he same and drum up some noise. SIX! It's a twitch... it's a spasm... but Darko rolls himself up onto his shoulder. The count's off... but NOW what? Darko rolling over onto his hands and knees, pointing himself toward a rested Brian Bruno--Young DESPERATELY pleading Jams to crawl over to his corner... Darko's slowly making his way... James is MOVING! Darko crawls the short distance he needs, toward Bruno's hand--and James HOT-DOGS across the canvas to Young--TWIN TAGS! NOW GET YOUR TICKETS READY! Bruno and Young rush each other... and Bruno wants it MORE. RUNNING CLOTHESLINE, Bruno swings that one like a punch, practically turning Thomas Young inside out. That's right, PRACTICALLY. The big man peels Young off of the mat, and with a couple of under-hooks, BUTTERFLY POWER-BOMB! Bruno's got the pin--ONE! TWO! SHOULDER UP! Bruno's not discouraged, however, as he cinches Young up again, this time slamming him to the mat with his SIT-OUT POWER-BOMB. ONE. TWO. THR--WHACK! Jeff James having entered the ring illegally, delivering another stiff kick to Bruno's ribs and interrupting the count. Sharplin's ordering him back into his corner or else face a DQ, but Bruno's steamed and wants to deal with James his own way. Pushing past Sharplin, he snakes his massive arm out and catches James by the throat, getting him in a goozle, and brings his other hand back, ready to knock James' block off--AND THEN THE LOW BLOW HAPPENS. Thomas Young, having slipped in behind Bruno in the confusion, strikes Bruno in the family jewels while Sharplin's distracted. This weakens the grip on James' throat, and in turn, this allows James to shove the bigger Bruno with all his might... and with Young's arm already in position, the two men are able to bring Bruno back into a Schoolboy! Not like this! ONE! TWO! SHOULDER UP! "Big Bad" Brian Bruno comes to at the last second, and DOESN'T like the game Young and James have been playing! Ignoring Sharplin's further warnings, Jeff James jumps on the back of the rising Bruno--but Bruno keeps his balance, and reaches behind him to hoist James up in an Inverted Crucifix... James waves his arms about ineffectually, trying to kick Bruno's back as best as he can... but Bruno just parades him around the ring for everyone to see. INVERTED CRUCIFIX POWER-BOMB! James hit the mat face-and-chest-first skidding to a halt as the fans chant "ONE! MORE! TIME!" Bruno smiles broadly, but chooses to instead turn to locate Thomas Young--TOO LATE! BIG BOOT! Thomas Young just PLOWED Bruno in the face! And now mounting his opponent, it's SHOT after SHOT of Young's well-used fist, up close and personal to Bruno's face! Bruno with a desperation counter to the barrage--a well-times Bell-Clap to stun the Royal--allows him to run to his corner... and find it EMPTY? Where the Hell is Prince Darko? Why, at ringside, asking the local honeys if they have royalty in them. No? Would they like some? It's pretty much the last straw for Bruno, who screama at his partner to get his head in the game, and that allows Thomas Young to hit the Young Cutter. Young, sporting a crooked smile, spits on the fallen Bruno, pretty much squandering any love the fans may given him for the Bloody Knuckles... and pulls Bruno up for ONE. LAST. MOVE. SHADES OF DEATH. ONE. TWO. THREE. FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your WINNERS, Thomas Young and Jeff! James! The crowd's not liking Young for this win, and scram themselves hoarse when Prince Darko "conveniently" loses interest in the local women to slide in the ring and prop a worn James up, raising his hand in victory. Young laughs and musses Darko's afro... "You had me fighting, you scamp!" "Hey, good fight," Darko chirps. "You beat us fair and square!" And Darko raises Young's hand in victory--Young raises DARKO'S hand in victory! And then a group hug! And while the fans ain't having it, Brian Bruno likes it even less... having found his way onto his knees, he gives Prince Darko a hurt, accusatory glare... Darko wears a guilty look, and then looks sad-faced at Thomas Young. He motions John Sharplin to come over, he's got something to say... wait, wait, no he doesn't. The Royals and Jeff James instead fall three-on-one on Bruno, raining down too many boot shots for him to cover up against. While the timekeeper impotently rings the bell, the three friends soften poor Brian Bruno up-until the pull his battered body up, Prince Darko slapping on the Full Nelson hold. Thomas Young back up and charges--another Big Boot! Bruno's ROYALLY DONE! But Darko's not letting him go... not yet.. not until James is on position on the turnbuckle! NO! ENOUGH'S ENOUGH! FLYING LARIAT from James, and the bell won't stop ringing! The three men seem pleased with their efforts, and once again start raising each other's hands as the Lethal Lottery fades to a break.
Back from break Bruce Richards and Rod Hardway are already in the ring. "Stone Cold Crazy" begins to blast from the speakers and a injured Simply Beautiful limps to the entrance and begins slowly making his way to the ring.. He stops half way and awaits his partner. He's hurt, but no one knows why. "I Am The Man" replaces Simply Beautiful's theme and Stylin' Kyle Roberts makes his way out basking in the cheers from the crowd. He too has new music. He meets up with Simply Beautiful and they both make their way to the ring. Before the ring introduction can be made the video screen lights up as the lights go low. Simply Beautiful from earlier tonight is in the locker room and is down. Dutch and Moose are leaving then shown smiling. DUTCH: Hey... Camera dude, Show this there video and let Edmonton know, Stiff Competition is hitting from all sides to make sure that BattleBowl is going to get won.. MOOSE: THE HARRRRRDD WAAAAAYY!! Kyle is so mad he can't stand it. Simply Beautiful gets in the ring ready to fight. Bruce is smiling a little. Bell sounds. A battered Simply Beautiful and Bruce Richards start the match. They initiate a collar-elbow tie-up and the uninjured Bruce Richards easily overpowers Simply Beautiful. Knee to the gut! Headlock! In tight! He's attempting to wear down Simply Beautiful...BACK SUPLEX! Simply Beautiful counters the headlock and already going for a Painkiller! He's trying to latch it in but Bruce Richards pushes him off. Bruce gets back on his feet and HARD kick to Simply Beautiful's chest. He lifts Simply Beautiful to his feet and a hip toss downs Simply Beautiful. Simply Beautiful is already running on empty. Bruce Richards makes his way to tag Rod Hardway and.. SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL REACHES KYLE ROBERTS FOR A TAG! Two fresh men early in the match! Kyle Roberts tries to gain quick advantage but DOUBLE LEG TAKEDOWN by Rod Hardway! He works him over into a slap to the face! Kyle Roberts jumps back to his feet and Rod Hardway latches in a headlock! Trips him forward with a headlock takedown. Perfectly executing the amateur wrestling technique! He holds the headlock tight attempting to tap Kyle out early! Kyle won't take it and goes for a head scissors! Rod easily gets out and works Kyle back into another headlock. Kyle pushes Rod off and gets back to his feet. Kyle goes for a clothesline but Rod ducks and FULL NELSON SLAM! Rod laughs and tags in a fresh BRUCE RICHARDS!! Bruce refuses to attack his downed friend and waits for him to get to his feet. Both men look each other in the eye and go for a traditional collar elbow tie-up. Bruce Richards gets a arm wringer in and Kyle reverses with a arm wringer of his own. Bruce rolls forward and the two know each other too well! Another tie-up and Kyle Roberts THROWS Bruce Richards with a hip toss but Bruce front flips forward and lands on his feet. Bruce jumps at Kyle but whatever attack has been cut short as Kyle sidesteps the attack. Kyle and Bruce nod at each other and go tag their partners. Two rejuvenated men enter the ring and pounce at each other. Simply Beautiful tries to gain quick leverage and leaps attempts a clothesline which was missed but SPRINGBOARD ELBOW CONNECTS WITH THE BACK OF ROD's HEAD! Simply Beautiful goes for a cover and Morgan Smythe gets ready to count. ONE! TWO! Kickout! Simply Beautiful grabs Rod's arm and latches on the Painkiller with such tenacity! Rods searching frantically for the ropes. Theres no rope available! Rod pushes himself up and LEAPS for the ropes! Smythe orders the hold to be broken and Simply Beautiful releases the hold. He lifts Rod Hardway to his feet and goes Irish whips him Simply Beautiful hits the rope and goes for another clothesline which is ducked once again! Rod Hardway makes his way off the rope and LARIAT! Takes out Simply Beautiful! Rod Hardway makes a tag and Bruce Richards makes his way into the ring. He lifts Simply Beautiful to his feet VICIOUS Pump-Handle Suplex! He works Simply Beautiful into a pin. ONE! TWO! Arm up! Simply Beautiful crawls toward his corner and tags in an eager Kyle Roberts.. Bruce Richards tags out almost immediately. Rod Hardway flies into the ring and begins his attack on Kyle Roberts which is easily countered by one half of the tag team champions and MOOSE JAW DRIVER! Rod Hardway is hit by the DEVASTATING move and Kyle Roberts lays in several stops to continue his assault before hitting the ropes and LIONSAULT! COVER! ONE!! TWO!! Kickout! Kyle Roberts continues beating on Rod Hardway, WAIT! Rod has him. DELAYED VERTICAL SUPLEX! He was held up there for a good 15 seconds! He drapes his arm over and ONE!! TWO!! ARM UP! Both men slowly stagger to their feet and Kyle Roberts is off the ropes once again.. POLAR-IZER! Rod is hurt! Kyle Roberts tags Simply Beautiful and the injured Simply Beautiful slowly walks toward Rod Hardway..He lifts Rod Hardway to his feet.. CHOP by Hardway! ANOTHER! CHOP! CHOP! Simply Beautiful is sent reeling toward the ropes.. he uses his momentum and SPIN DOCTOR! Rod Hardway has another unfaithful meeting with the canvas as Simply Beautiful lazily covers Rod Hardway.. ONE! TWO! THR.. ARM UP! Simply Beautiful lifts Rod Hardway up once again and IMPACT DDT! Simply Beautiful is going for it! He ascends the top! WAIT BRUCE RICHARDS! CROTCHES SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL! Simply Beautiful flips forward and lands back first onto the canvas below. Rod Hardway is making it back to his feet. He makes his way over to Simply Beautiful and gets him up to his feet.. Irish Whip to the other corner.. Rod Hardway follows closely behind..MAFIA KICK! NEARLY DECAPITATING SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL! Rod Hardway grabs hold of Simply Beautiful and DESPERATION KNEE TO THE GUT BY SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL! Simply Beautiful begins fighting his way back to the center of the ring.. He hits the ropes HARDWAY SLAM ON THE REBOUNDING SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL!! Hardway hooks the leg! ONE!! Kyle Roberts is going to break the pin! TWO!! KYLE ROBERTS!! IS KICKED IN THE HEAD BY BRUCE RICHARDS! THREE!! FRANK WARBURTON: The winners of this match..By pinfall Rod Hardway and Bruce "The Beast" Richards!! Rod Hardway hits the corner in celebration of his victory while DX shakes hands and congratulate each other on their hard fought match. Simply Beautiful is pissed and makes his way out of the ring. Mark "The Moose" Millar and "Durty" Dutch Flanagan make their way into the ring through the crowd! They attack Bruce Richards but Kyle Roberts makes the save. DX begins throwing lefts and rights and a brawl has begun! Lefts and rights by Moose and Dutch! DX begins to gain advantage and Moose and Dutch make their escape.. With Rod Hardway by their side. |