TUESDAY. NIGHT. FIGHTS.

01/09/2007

Outside the armoury in Calgary. It's cold and lightly snowing. Why are we outside? Because that's where we see Tommy Deathrow stalking the parking lot... wielding a long lead pipe.

DEATHROW: The (BLEEP) are you Krenshov? You (BLEEP) licking ball (BLEEP)er! (BLEEP)!

Deathrow bangs the lead pipe against a car, screaming for Krenshov. The windshield shatters and some late-comers scream, running into the building and relative safety. No Krenshov to be found.

The Superstar walks closer to the camera. His breath frosts in the air as he casually slings the lead pipe over his shoulders. He sees the camera and we see that he's not grinning. There's nothing funny in his face. Tommy Deathrow is something we haven't seen in a long time, and perhaps some of us hoped we would never see again.

Tommy Deathrow

Is angry.

Inside the Calgary Armoury, and it's a good packing of nearly a thousand wrestling fans for one of the biggest Tuesday Night Fights in the promotion's history. Seven matches, including FOUR title matches in one night. And on top of that, the first-ever singles meeting of two amazing wrestlers - #1 contender Ravager and a man who's popularity continues to grow weekly, Simply Beautiful. The whispering and buzzing has been going on all week. Is Chad Kurtis in condition to wrestle? Can Matthew Kurtis dethrone Chris Casino? Will The Playgirlz upset D-X? What about The Foundation, will they make an appearance? What about Krenshov? Will he stick his nose into the Canada Cup match between two men he despises, Billy Kryenik and Brian Bruno?

Perhaps he will, but even he may not want to come face-to-face with Deathrow tonight. Some of these questions will be answered tonight...

FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is scheduled for ONE FALL...

CHRIS CASINO: And that's why I don't bring my dates to the petting zoo anymore!

JACK JONES: (Pause.) That. Was the GREATEST story. I've ever heard. You, sir, are a god among men. Why can't you be my broadcast partner every night?

CHRIS CASINO: Well when Hewson is late again, be sure to call me. We'll have a good time Jonesy.

The furious fiddling of Ashley MacIsaac's "Devil In The Kitchen" kicks in, and the crowd goes wild!

FRANK WARBURTON: ...And is the No Disqualification, No Count-Out match! Introducing first, "The Irish Adonis" Bobby O'Brady and "The Scottish Wrecking Machine" Al Thoes! The CELTIC! ASSASSINS!

Bobby O'Brady & Al Thoes march down to the ring, focused and intense. Al is pushing a shopping cart full of their weapons: a chair, some kendo sticks, a cricket bat, If They Only Knew, and of course, the inflatable sheep. Ninety percent of the weapons in the cart are wrapped in barbed wire. As Bobby gets in the ring, Al starts gently passing him the weapons...but referee John Sharplin approaches the two men and shakes his head.

CHRIS CASINO: Apparently, Commissioner Winchell wasn't too keen on the amount of barbed wire in the Assassins' arsenal, and has given the referee explicit instructions to remove as much as he sees fit. Way to stick it to 'em, ol' Sharpy!

JACK JONES: Damn right! The nerve of those two limeys, bringing in that stuff! These people are here to see technical ability, not blood! This is a wrestling match, not a barnraising!

As the music fades out, John Sharplin waves to one of the crew members, who hands him a pair of wire cutters. Despite Bobby & Al's protests, he begins stripping the wire from most of the implements, leaving only a cricket bat, a chair, and the inflatable sheep wrapped barbed wire. The crew member takes the rest of the barbed wire away, safely wearing protective gloves. Then, it's "Bang Bang To The Rock 'N' Roll", and here come the Cowboys!

FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents! From Staten Island, New York. Accompanied by Papa Z...they are the number one contenders for the Tag Team Titles...Clint and Stone Zellor! The Midnight COWBOYS!

CHRIS CASINO: And The Midnight Cowboys don't waste too much time coming down to the ring! They look about ready to beat the flesh off those stinking English bastards.

JACK JONES: MAKE THEM BLEED, CLINT! MAKE THEM BLEED!

Clint and Stone are ignoring the boos (and thrown drink cups) of the audience, waving and grinning as Papa Z carries a garbage can full of their own weapons down to the ring. Clint and Stone get to their corner, and simply tip the garbage can over, spilling its contents all over the mat. John Sharplin gives them a cursory examination, and finding no blades or firearms, quickly calls for the bell, as these two teams are chomping at the bit. All four men rush to the center of the ring and begin pounding on each other.

JACK JONES: One of those Assassins should be back in his corner! They're just begging for a disqualification, Chris!

CHRIS CASINO: This match is no DQ, Jones. You'll be grateful for that in a few minutes, I think.

Clint Zellor throws Al Thoes out of the ring, and climbs over the ropes and out to the apron after him, leaving Bobby O'Brady and Stone Zellor locked up in the middle of the ring. O'Brady applies an arm lock, and yanks hard on his opponent's arm, but Stone reverses into an arm lock of his own, followed by a chop to the chest, and O'Brady is down on the floor. Stone goes in for a leg lock, but O'Brady kicks him away and he falls face first into the ring ropes! O'Brady scrambles to his corner and grabs THE BARBED WIRE WRAPPED SHEEP! With a roar, he raises it over his head...but it pops and starts to slowly deflate. O'Brady doesn't care, and he tosses it at Stone Zellor's back, and he screams in pain and clutches his back as the limp, barbed-wire-wrapped sheep rolls out of the ring. O'Brady lifts Stone up from the ropes, and brings him crashing facedown to the mat with a bodyslam. He applies a headlock, and delivers a series of rapid knee strikes to the back of the Zellor brother's head. Clint Zellor runs in with the garbage can, ready to knock O'Brady in the back of the head, but Al Thoes runs in, weilding a cricket bat over his head and screaming like a crazy Highlander, and knocks the garbage can out of Clint's hands, then raps him in the shins with perfect cricket form for good measure. Al Thoes grabs Clint Zellor by the scruff of the neck, and tosses HIM out of the ring, much to the fans delight! Meanwhile, Bobby O'Brady has finished with his knee strikes, and goes in for the cover. One, two, thre--no! Clint Zellor somehow got his foot on the ropes! And John Sharplin thinks he has a pretty good idea how, as he admonishes Papa Z, who is ambling away with a "Who ME?" look on his face.

JACK JONES: I don't see what the problem is here. Papa Z is just doing what every good manager does, trying to ensure his team's victory! You can't fault him for that.

CHRIS CASINO: That's John Sharplin for you; sticking to the letter of the law. I keep telling him that rules are there as general guidelines, but he's a little too orthodox for my liking. I should talk to Mr. Winchell about not renewing his contract when it comes up this year.

JACK JONES: Where are all the good referees nowadays, like Harvey Andrews? Now THERE was an unbiased, classy guy!

Back in the ring, Al Thoes and Bobby O'Brady have the dizzy Stone Zellor up in the middle of the ring, and they run to the ropes, bouncing off for a double clothesline that nearly puts him away! Clint Zellor, pulling himself up from the apron, slides into the ring and takes down Bobby O'Brady with a vicious chop block to the left knee, and stands up just in time for a power suplex from Al Thoes! Thoes isn't finished with his opponent yet, though, and grabs the copy of "If They Only Knew" by Chyna. The crowd gasps as the big Scotsman sits on Clint's chest and begins reading aloud from the book! Clint Zellor clutches at his ears and begins howling, as the horrible prose conducts a devastating assault on his eardrums! Al closes the book, and then slaps Clint in the face with it a few times for good measure! But then Stone Zellor comes in with the Sega Genesis console and cracks Thoes in the face! The Highlander falls backwards on the mat, twitching with a blood gushing from his nose! Stone Zellor raises his hands in the air and spins around as the crowd jeers him. Bobby O'Brady points at him, and rushes towards him with a hard right hand; Stone Zellor gives him a pimp slap which staggers the bigger man, who comes right back with another hard right! Stone Zellor staggers him again with the pimp slap, and then floors him with a Discus Clothesline. Stone covers, but only gets a two count as O'Brady POWERS out of the pin and tosses him a few feet away. He stands up quickly, grabbing the barbed-wire chair, and hits his opponent in the back as he tries to get up. "IT'LL TAKE MORE THAN THAT TO PUT AWAY THE ASSASSINS!" he shouts, as he hits Stone again with the chair. He raises the chair for a third time, but Clint Zellor cracks him in the right knee with a skateboard, and then BREAKS THE SKATEBOARD ACROSS HIS BACK! Al Thoes, blood streaming down his face, comes at Clint with the Midnight Cowboys' own takoyaki pan, and beans him in the face! Now there are members of both teams with bloody faces, as Clint Zellor lays bleeding from a cut on his forehead. Stone Zellor, in obvious pain, pulls down deep inside himself and gives Thoes a vicious low blow from behind, then collapses in exhaustion.

CHRIS CASINO: All four men are down, but this is a no-count out match!

JACK JONES: Who's going to be the biggest man in this match?

Al Thoes finally makes it to his feet!

JACK JONES: Aw DAMMIT!

Al Thoes stumbles over to Clint Zellor, and lays atop him for the pin. One, two, thr--SHOULDER UP! Clint Zellor breaks the pin through sheer instinct alone, and Al Thoes grits his teeth and yells in frustration. He grabs Clint Zellor by the fro and pulls him to his feet, then locks up and delivers a hard powerslam. He falls to one knee, clearly weakened by the effort, but slowly stands up HOLY CRAP MISSILE DROPKICK! Stone Zellor had somehow climbed to the top turnbuckle and NAILED Al Thoes just as he got up from that powerslam, and now Stone Zellor tries to cover, but he doesn't even get to two before Bobby O'Brady NAILS him in the back with a kendo stick, and Stone rolls off Thoes to get a stick in the guts for good measure. Bobby O'Brady applies the head vice, but he's too close to the edge of the ring, and Stone Zellor easily grabs the ropes to break the hold. Bobby O'Brady gives him a few stomps, then whips him to the ropes, but Stone Zellor leaps forward in a cross body block...but O'Brady CATCHES him and it's another powerslam! Stone Zellor's flat out on the mat, and O'Brady ges in for the cover! ONE...TWO...THR--Papa Z CRACKS him in the back of the head with the HD DVD player, and O'Brady lays limply on the mat! As John Sharplin begins to reprimand the Cowboys' manager, Clint Zellor moves in for the kill, crawling over to the prone O'Brady, but Al Thoes grabs him by the ankle and slowly pulls Clint towards him! Clint turns around and gives Al a boot to the face for his troubles, then gets him up and whips him into the corner turnbuckle. As he stumbles forward, Clint SPEARS him back into the turnbuckle. Clint is encouraging his brother Stone to climb to the top of the turnbuckle; Al Thoes uses Clint to try to get to his feet, but Clint gives him a boot to the groin and Al Thoes is back on the mat. The fans are BOOING with all their might as Stone Zellor balances on the top turnbuckle and Clint Zellor SOMEHOW gets the massive Thoes ready for a spinebuster, but then they start to cheer as Bobby O'Brady gets to his feet and screams! Clint Zellor looks like a deer caught in the headlights, as Bobby O'Brady charges...AND FALLS! Bobby O'Brady collapses to the ground and we see Papa Z standing behind him, brandishing the Assassin's barbed-wire chair! Stone flies from the turnbuckle...STATEN SPECIAL! Clint goes in for the cover...ONE...TWO...THREE!

FRANK WARBURTON: Here are YOUR winners, The MIDNIIIIIIIIIIGHT COOOOOOWWBOOYYYS!

Papa Z helps Clint and Stone to the center of the ring to accept the booing and shouting of insults from the crowd, as the Celtic Assassins lie prone on the mat.

CHRIS CASINO: And just like I thought would happen, the best team won, Jones.

JACK JONES: You said it, Chris! I can't wait to see The Midnight Cowboys take on D-X next week; it's about time the Zellor brothers had the tag team gold around their waists.

CHRIS CASINO: The New & Improved D-X got nothing on these guys. Two out of three falls? The Midnight Cowboys will just need the first two! Anyways Jonesy, that was fun, but it looks like Bill "Stick in the mud" Hewson is on his way here. Ciao, sucker.

JACK JONES: I was having so much fun... where were YOU?

BILL HEWSON: Some wise-acre thought it would be fun to report my car as stolen. The Calgary police finally let me get to the show!

JACK JONES: Why would anybody do something like that? People these days.

BILL HEWSON: In any event, when we come back: The Canada Cup tournament continues... Patrick Kidd and Kurt Castle will collide. And Kidd's Provincial Title will be on the line!

Fade up on... Prince Darko? Not just Prince Darko, but Prince Darko and LYNDSEY VALENTINE. Darko his hand on the wall and he's grinning at Miss Valentine. The tall tough-looking woman is not looking impressed.

PRINCE DARKO: So anyways, enough about me. How YOU doin' baby?

Valentine rolls her eyes. She tries to get by, but Darko stops her.

PRINCE DARKO: Hey hey heyheyhey! I know what it is, you've never been wit' Royalty before, have you? Don't be scared of the Prince, baby. You gots to chill, and let me take control like only a future king can...

Darko, you sly dog. What's this? The camera pans to screen left... and in the background around the corner we see Lyndsey's man, Matthew Kurtis. Well, that's him on the floor anyways being attacked by Thomas Young and TV Champion Jeff james! A yell overpowers Darko's "smooth talk". Lyndsey Valentine tries to get past Darko, a sudden expression of concern on her face. Darko grabs his arms around her waist, the woman struggles and elbows Darko in the face! He stumbles backwards and Lyndsey runs forward. The camera catches Young blasting Matthew in the knee with a steel chair before Lyndsey barrels into the scene with a vicious forearm on James! Young throws the chair down and yells "We're out!" before scattering along with his brother. Darko rubs his jaw in the foreground but then steps disdainfully past Lyndsey, who is kneeling over her injured man.

PRINCE DARKO: You had y'chance. Oh, and "good luck" in your match with Chris Casino later, foo.

Darko walks off, laughing as Matt clutches his right knee while Lyndsey tries to figure out the damage...

BILL HEWSON: Well what the hell? What the hell is wrong with The Foundation? They gave Chad Kurtis a concussion last week, and now they've attacked his brother! Matthew Kurtis has a Pure Honor title match later tonight, and there's no way he's going to be 100% ready for the match now.

JACK JONES: Had a title match, you mean. It would be dangerous to Chris Casino, to make him get into the ring with a cripple like Matt Kurtis.

BILL HEWSON: Oh get real. Folks, we will update you on Matthew Kurtis' condition as soon as we receive any news. Hopefully he can still compete tonight but as they say, the show must go on.

JACK JONES: And now to finish my story: And then I ate the bowl!

BILL HEWSON: Yeah, those Tim Hortons bread bowls are pretty tasty.

JACK JONES: I'm sorry, there's BREAD bowls out there? Why didn't anybody tell me this?

FRANK WARBURTON: Our next match is a Canada Cup semi-final, and is for the NAPW Provincial Championship! Making his way down the ramp, weighing in at two hundred and ninety eight pounds, from Rochester, New York, he is the Devastator! Kuuuuuurt Caaaastlllllllle!

Godsmack hits the speakers, as the behemoth Kurt Castle, dressed in his trademark blue trenchcoat slowly walks down the ramp, in his own world as the fans don't hesitate to boo the hell out of him. He steps over the ropes and lifts his hood, looking down at all the fans with an impassive expression.

FRANK WARBURTON: And introducing next, the NAPW Provincial Chaaampionnn! From Patterson, New Jersey, weighing in at two hundred and forty eight pounds, this is Patriiiick Kiiiiiiiidd!

Kidd comes out to applause, wearing the Provincial title over his shoulder. He gladhands a bunch of fans on his way to the ring.

JACK JONES: Am I the only guy concerned that our PROVINCIAL championship is being fought over by a guy from New York and a guy from New Jersey?

BILL HEWSON: Ever since Patrick Kidd won that title, he's been fighting for it like he was an honorary Albertan. I'd go as far as saying he's defended it more than almost any Provincial Champion in NAPW history!

Kidd enters the ring, and sizes up his opponent. Castle steps over to Kidd, and the size difference wouldn't be more plain. Kidd only comes up to Castle's goateed chin! As Morgan Smythe explains the rules, Castle trashtalks Kidd. Smythe calls for the bell, and we're off! Castle straight to the gut for Kidd with a well-placed knee. Kidd's winded, and Castle grabs the champ's arm, throwing him with authority into a turnbuckle. Patrick's in pain, Castle smirks, and lunges at his opponent, going for an avalanche in the corner. Kidd drops to the mat, and Castle gets nothing but turnbuckle to his chest. That's gotta hurt! Kidd, from the canvas, rolls up the groggy challenger. One! Kickout by Castle. Kidd backs off, and Castle gets up from the mat with a fierce expression on his face. Castle motions for a lock-up. Kidd looks to the fans, and they tell him not to do it! But Kidd does it anyway, with the man fifty pounds heavier and eight inches taller. Wow. Castle manages to get the upper hand. Who didn't see that coming? Kurt wraps his arms about the waist of Patrick Kidd, and lets fly with a belly-to-belly suplex. Kidd's down on the mat, and Castle covers for a quick pin. One! T-Kickout by the Provincial champ. Castle straddles Patrick, and starts laying in forearm shots to wear his opponent down. Smythe warns Kurt about going too far, and Kurt finally gets off Kidd, to the jeers of the crowd.

BILL HEWSON: What's this? What's Chris Casino coming out here for? We're not even sure if he's going to compete tonight after the heinous attack on Matt Kurtis by the Foundation!

JACK JONES: He's obviously here to watch Patrick Kidd lose his title to the better man! There's no way you can take down that leviathan Kurt Castle. He's called the Devastator for a reason!

Chris Casino walks down the ramp, with his glitzy, gaudy Pure Honour belt over his shoulder. To the boos of the crowd, Casino takes a chair, and sits beside the timekeeper, intently watching this match. Patrick Kidd is up, and he sees Casino sitting down. Kidd questions Smythe as to what Casino's doing at ringside. Casino just waves his hand and shouts, "You might want to keep your eye on Kurt Castle, not me, jackass." Kidd turns around, and a big boot to the face by Castle! Kidd goes down, but Kurt picks him up by the scruff of the neck, and lifts him up for a Pump Handle Slam. OUCH! Castle covers. One! Two! Thr-Kickout in the nick of time by Kidd. Casino shakes his head as Castle grabs the leg on Kidd and pulls him to the center of the ring. Kidd manages to get up on his other leg, but Castle's still holding on to Patrick's right. Ensuiguri straight to the back of Castle's head! The big man drops, as Casino's jaw falls. Patrick wastes no time crawling on the back of Kurt and locking his arms into double arm chickenwing, and flips over! Cattle Mutilation!

JACK JONES: Cattle Mutilation to a man who had his neck broken a few years ago? What kind of sick freak is our Provincial Champion?

Kurt Castle is screaming in pain and Patrick Kidd torques the shoulders of his opponent. Casino looks on as the hold lasts longer and longer. Castle is almost out, and Morgan Smythe is checking up on him. With his last ounce of strength, Kurt manages to grab the bottom rope with his foot as Casino breathes a sigh of relief. Smythe orders Kidd to release the submission, and Kidd does so, crestfallen that he was seconds away from the Canada Cup finals. Kidd picks up Castle by the neck, only to follow up with a swinging neckbreaker. Jones screams in sympathetic pain as Castle crumples to the mat. Kidd covers for the pinfall. One! Two! THRE-NO! Castle manages to lift the shoulder! He's still in it, after all the damage to his neck. Casino shouts out "Can't get it done, can you?" Kidd turns his attention to Casino, giving Kurt Castle precious seconds to recover. Castle's getting up, grabs the arm of Kidd and launches him into the ropes. Kidd flies back as Castle grabs him for another belly-to-belly suplex! Patrick Kidd flies out of the ring and lands at the feet of Chris Casino. Casino picks Kidd up and shoves him back into the ring. Kurt Castle lunges for the Provincial champion, but Kidd ducks out and rolls underneath the ropes, livid at the Pure Honour champ. He gets in Casino's face, "You're not supposed to be here! Get the hell out of my match!" Casino raises his hands, saying he was only helping Kidd back into the ring. Kidd's so focused on Casino, he doesn't see Kurt Castle from behind. The strength of Kurt Castle's on full display as he gorilla presses his opponent over the top rope back into the ring. Castle gets back in, and tries to apply the Truth Serum, but Kidd slips out. Kidd locks Castle's head under his arm, getting ready for the Double Arm DDT that is the Crimson Tide. What's this? Castle picks up Kidd! Unbelieveable strength by the challenger! Castle's wincing from the strain on his neck, but he manages to Military Press Kidd into a Tombstone Piledriver! TOTAL DEVASTATION! Kidd's out as Castle covers, hooking the leg, for a one! Two! THREE!

FRANK WARBURTON: Your winner and new Provincial Champion! The Devastator! Kurt! Caaastlllle!

BILL HEWSON: Not only that, but Castle goes on to the Canada Cup Final! And if he wins that, he'll be able to challenge for any title he wants!

JACK JONES: And now Chris Casino's in the ring congratulating the new Provincial champion! He's shaking the hand of Kurt Castle! And still later tonight we get MORE Chris Casino!

Casino opens the ropes for Castle as they exit the ring. Morgan Smythe is tending to Patrick Kidd, who is glaring intensely at both Castle and Chris Casino.

Backstage! Josh Reynolds is right on the other side of the curtain. As such, he is in perfect place to catch CHRIS CASINO and KURT CASTLE come through, each man with his respective title belt on a shoulder.

JOSH REYNOLDS: Chris! Kurt! What in the name of god are we seeing here? Why the handshake? Why did you get involved in the match ---

CHRIS CASINO: Josh shut up. I was trying to help Kidd up and that moron shoved me. It's not my fault he took his eyes off a wrestler like Kurt Castle. This man here beat Kidd in the middle of that ring one-two-three and just like that, NAPW finally has a worthy Provincial Champion.

JOSH REYNOLDS: But what about you and Castle, leaving the ring together and now here? Are you two allied? What's the story here?

Castle shifts the Provincial Title belt onto his other shoulder and gives Josh a stare of utter disgust. Casino grins.

KURT CASTLE: You know what Josh? I bet you'd love to know.

Casino and Castle walk off, leaving Josh (and the fans) hanging. What is going on tonight?

BILL HEWSON: Kurt Castle and Chris Casino on the same page?

JACK JONES: The new Provincial Champion and the best PURE wrestler in the world together? Pinch me, I'm dreaming.

BILL HEWSON: Keep your pants on.

FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first from Staten Island New York... This! Is! SIMPLLLLLY BEAUTIFULLLLL!

STONE COLD CRAZY! The fans go that very thing as the Italian Stallion himself struts through the entrance way. He is FEELING it tonight by all accounts, and the crowd loves it.

BILL HEWSON: This man... Simply Beautiful has easily become one of the most popular wrestlers in NAPW over the past while! He had a tremendous run with the Pure Honor title, he ran D! out of NAPW, and tonight he has an opportunity to wrestle one of the NAPW veterans in Ravager.

JACK JONES: What would it mean for Simply Beautiful's career to pin Ravager here tonight... not as much as it would have meant if he'd pinned Chris Casino EVER, but it would be okay.

BILL HEWSON: This match may well be the biggest test for SB yet.

SB hits the ring and bounces to the top turnbuckle, grinning at the crowd's vehement response. Finally, his music fades out and he takes a corner to wait. The crowd waits. The know it.

Path.

FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent! From Brooklyn New York... He is THE SHOOTER... RAVAGERRRRRR!

All business. Ravager steps out, black hair slicked back. No-nonsense? Absolutely. He is the ultimate anti-hero in the NAPW Universion. He's The Punisher. The crowd digs him still, because well, crowds dig bad-asses. The White Collar Assassin steps to the ring completely focused.

BILL HEWSON: There is nothing on the line in this match except the most important thing to each of these men, and that's pride. For Ravager, it's about momentum. Next week at NAPW's 100th show, Ravager challenges for the NAPW Title against whomever the champion may be. He wants the momentum a huge win tonight would bring him.

JACK JONES: I can't see his odds of beating Evan Cartwright getting any better with a win tonight.

BILL HEWSON: You say that as though Evan's already wrestled and retained his belt versus Chad Kurtis.

JACK JONES: Oh, you don't want to know the odds on "The Concussion" against Evan.

BILL HEWSON: Never tell me the odds. Simply Beautiful tonight wants to stake his claim to a future NAPW Title shot, and a win over the #1 contender would go a long way to making that case. Let's go to the ring for the bell. This is going to be one helluva match, folks.

Ravager and Simply Beautiful stare at each other, nose to nose, with the veteran not saying a word, trying to psyche out his opponent, while Simply Beautiful takes the opposite tactic, mouth running a mile a minute, but soft enough so only Ravager can hear him. Suddenly, Ravager's eyes flash and he lets fly with a backhand to Beautiful's chest. Must have been something Simply Beautiful said. And it's on! Simply Beautiful and Ravager, exchanging lightning-fast chops to one another. Ravager grabs the arm of the beautiful one, whips him only to pull him back with a short-arm clothesline. Simply Beautiful falls to the mat, only to kip back up, asking Ravager "Is that all you've got?" The White Collar Assassin smirks. The two men lock up, and Simply Beautiful uses his quickness to position himself behind Ravager. A German Suplex takes Ravager down. Simply Beautiful takes advantage with a Dusty Rhodes-style bionic elbow to the chest of Ravager. And another. And anot-no, Ravager rolls out of the way at the last second, as Simply Beautiful elbows the mat. Ouch, that's gotta hurt! Simply Beautiful writes on the ground in pain, as Ravager applies a headlock. Simply Beautiful's face reddens, but he manages to hook the bottom rope with his leg after a few seconds. Referee Dick Kiebiech calls for the hold to be broken, and Ravager relents. Simply Beautiful is given a few seconds to breathe thanks to Kiebiech. Ravager picks up Ess-Bee by the hair, and hooks Beautiful's head underneath his arm. DDT attempt fails as Simply Beautiful reverses it into a bridged suplex. Kiebiech slides to the mat. One! Two! Kickout by Ravager. Ravager gets to his knees, only to have Simply Beautiful get right into his face, holding his fingers a half-inch apart. "This close, Bob," says Simply Beautiful. Ravager slaps the hand away, and motions for another lock-up. They do so, and Simply Beautiful again get the upper hand, this time himself getting Ravager into a DDT position. This one connects with force, as Simply Beautiful gets some air by jumping. Ravager's head hits the mat, and he's dazed. Simply Beautiful follows up with a springboard elbow to the back of Ravager's head. And he applies the Painkiller! The crowd cheers as Beautiful applies more pressure to the arm of Ravager, and Ravager is hollering in pain, hitting the mat once to show his frustration. As Kiebiech is asking if Ravager is done, Ravager shakes his head, moving inch by inch towards the bottom rope. Almost there. Almost. There! Ravager grabs the rope, shaking it with tenacity. And the ref tells Simply Beautiful to break the hold. After a three-count, Beautiful lets go of Ravager's arm. The damage seems to be done to Ravager, as he tries to massage some feeling back into his right arm. Beautiful rushes at Ravager with a forearm, but Ravager ducks. He fights back with a spinning elbow to the gut of Beautiful, and Simply Beautiful gets the wind knocked out of him. Ravager grabs the head of Ess-Bee, and a bulldog drops him to the mat. Ravager covers for one and a half before Simply Beautiful kicks out.

Ravager drags Beautiful to a corner, and sets his head at the bottom turnbuckle. Oh noes! That's one vicious Silencer, as Beautiful almost gets a tooth knocked out! That'll groggy anyone. Another headlock by Ravager, as he tries to take the advantage, but Simply Beautiful grabs the bottom rope. Ravager lets go with frustration. What's it going to take to defeat Simply Beautiful? Ravager motions for Business is Business, and the crowd pops. He takes Simply Beautiful to the top turnbuckle, and bam! Muscle Buster! That's gotta be it! Ravager covers. One. Two! Thr- Kickout by the former Pure Honour Champion. Ravager punches the mat. Simply Beautiful's coughing in air, but manages to smirk and waggle his finger. Not this time. Ravager picks Beautiful up, and gets him in a full nelson. Is this going to be the Last Resort? It certainly looks like it! But on his way down, Simply Beautiful contorts like a cat, wrapping his arm around the neck of Ravager. Reverse DDT takes the former NAPW champ down. Beautiful covers. One! Two! Kickout by Ravager! But he's still on the mat, as Simply Beautiful drags him closer to the corner. Beautiful hops to the second turnbuckle, top turnbuckle, into the air! Huge moonsault, but Ravager's prepared for it, and rolls out of the way. Nothing but canvas for Simply Beautiful. Ravager scrambles for the pin. One! Two! Simply Beautiful grabs the rope, and Kiebiech stops the count. Ravager locks in the Garotte! Simply Beautiful's screaming in pain as Ravager pulls on the neck of his opponent. But once again, Beautiful knows exactly where he is in this ring, and manages to get a handful of bottom rope. Ravager curses under his breath, as he picks up Beautiful, and it's a Falcon Arrow suplex that drives Simply Beautiful into the mat. Pin by Ravager! One! Two! Thu-reee-GOD NO! I can't believe Simply Beautiful was able to kick out of that again! And neither can Ravager.

Ravager is vowing to get this match finished, but Simply Beautiful is just not letting that happen. Ravager gets a very groggy Beautiful to his feet, and runs to the ropes, for a powerful clothesline. STYLESKIC- Sorry, sorry. My bad, SEXYKICK to the face of Ravager! Ravager's stunned as his nose just explodes in blood. After a few seconds on shock, he drops to the mat. Simply Beautiful points to the top rope, and the crowd explodes! Not in blood, but cheers. Simply Beautiful hits the top turnbuckle, and it's time for the New York Nightmare! Simply Beautiful FLIES! And gets the knees of Ravager right in his gut! Beautiful writhes in pain as Ravager slowly gets up, wearing a lower half of a crimson mask. Full nelson into a Dragon Suplex! Last Resort! Ravager hit the Last Resort! He backdrops on top of Simply Beautiful, and counts along with Dick Kiebiech. One! Two! THREE-AND ANOTHER KICKOUT BY SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL! Ravager's eyes are open wide, as he must be asking himself what it will take to defeat this man! And Simply Beautiful crawls to the ropes, pulling himself up one rope by one rope until he's finally standing, and motions at Ravager to come get some. The crowd is on their feet at the tenacity of this man. Ravager lunges at Simply Beautiful with a clothesline, and Simply Beautiful ducks. But Ravager hits the ropes and comes back full force with a sick, sick lariat, that flips Simply Beautiful in the air until he hits the mat. Ravager, with his bloody face and frenzied expression, drops to his knees, and covers the prone Simply Beautiful. Kiebiech counts the pin with a one, two, THREE!

FRANK WARBURTON: Here is... your winner... RAVAGERRRRR!

Both men are down and out, laying in the ring and trying to gain any breath back. The crowd? They haven't sat down.

BILL HEWSON: WHAT A MATCH! WHAT AN UNBELIEVABLE MATCH! YOU HAD TO BELIEVE SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL HAD ONE MORE MIRACLE LEFT IN HIM...

JACK JONES: ... I'm only going to say it once, THAT was some top of the line PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING. Holy hell!

BILL HEWSON: Jack Jones, everyone. It looked to everybody in this building that nothing Ravager could do would put Simply Beautiful away, but finally, with one HELL of a lariat he was able to keep the man down for three, this match has taken it's toll on both competitors, two tremendous, TREMENDOUS competitors!

Ravager on one side of the ring has begun pulling himself up to his feet by the ropes. Simply Beautiful has rolled over and is now on his knees, exhausted and so disappointed. So close. Ravager stares across at the man, then manages to walk over. He extends his hand to Simply Beautiful.

The crowd almost pauses. They're not sure what to expect here. Is this a legitimate handshake, or is something bad going to happen? SB looks up... hesitates... and then grabs the hand. Ravager pulls him up to his feet and gives a firm handshake, slapping SB on the shoulder and mouthing words we can not hear. Ravager raises his arms in victory as SB goes to leave the ring --- stopped by Ravager? What's this? Ravager motions to the center of the ring, then looks out over the people. "Listen." It is then Ravager who leaves the ring, leaving SB in the center. He looks out, awed...

And the entire arena is on their feet, cheering, stomping, roaring, whistling.

Standing ovation.

Back from commercial, and still the crowd is paying respect to a humbled, stunned Simply Beautiful. Their standing ovation has turned into a chant of "THANK YOU SB, CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP."

BILL HEWSON: You've got to believe that this young man will go far in our business, in this sport of professional wrestling. This crowd showing their appreciation for everything he's done between those ropes, and by God, I'm surprised by the show of respect by Ravager.

JACK JONES: Yeah, it's real touching, but why is this still going on? We could be watching Chris Casino or Evan Cartwright wrestle now!

BILL HEWSON: You oughta be ashamed of yourself, trying to take this away from any wrestler. You've been there, you remember --- WAIT JUST A DAMNED MINUTE. IT'S THE PLAGUE! Simply Beautiful just wrestled a war, this ain't fair, this ain't fair at all!

It is INDEED The Plague hitting the ring at a run and clotheslining Simply Beautiful down from behind. Of course from behind, The Plague? Fight fair? Hardly. Hypocrite. The Plague takes an exhausted SB down and hooks his arms, then begins driving his knees into Simply Beautiful's head! SB has been through a war! He can't defend himself, this is horrible! Wait a minute! HERE COMES PATRICK BICKLE! Bickle vaults to the top rope and FREEFALL FREEFALL FREEFALL on top of The Plague! The Plague knocked for a loop and Bickle is all over him --- ROLL CREDITS! Plague yelling in pain and Bickle with a crazed expression has come to the aid of SB, returning the favor from last week! He could break Plague, Plague has nowhere to go, trapped in the Anaconda Vice.

PS: I bet you wondered where Lloyd Rees was.

BILL HEWSON: That's --- THAT'S THE LEMONDROP KID! Where's he BEEN for two months?!

JACK JONES: HOLY HELL!

Lloyd Rees hits the ring with a steel chair! He measures Bickle from behind and CRACK. Right into the back of Bickle's head. Simply Beautiful is trying to get up and fight back, CRACK. Lloyd blasts him with the chair right down on the back! "The Lemondrop Kid" has returned, attacking the man who twice took the NAPW Title from him, and SB for being Bickle's ally and friend! The Plague is getting up, trying to shake the cobwebs loose... He grabs SB! Before you know it, BLACK DEATH II! SB is down and out, and now Lloyd Rees is screaming at Patrick Bickle. "YA TOOK ME BELT YA (BLEEP)IN' LARRY! I'M GONNA TAKE YA OUT!" Bickle gets up... the back of his head is bleeding. Lloyd opens the chair up? What's this? He and The Plague take shots at Patrick Bickle, The Plague and Lloyd Rees are in cahoots? What in the hell? Now Lloyd... he picks Bickle up and crotches him on the top rope! What's Lloyd doing? To the second rope HOLY HANNAH. HOLY HELL. Rees with a lariat off the second turnbuckle on the trapped Bickle! Bickle tumbles to the canvas awkardly, what an unbelievable move by Rees! But he's not done, what the hell is this? The Plague has set the chair up in a proper seated position in the middle of the ring... Lloyd Rees pulls Bickle up and hits an irish whip, into The Plague, SPINEBUSTER --- ONTO THE CHAIR. GOOD GOD IT BROKE THE CHAIR! BICKLE WRITHING IN PAIN, and Lloyd Rees then grabs the wreckage of the chair and hucks it Bickle's head! And just when you think it couldn't get any worse, Bickle is locked into the Conception Bay Chinlock as The Plague chokes SB on the canvas. Here comes security! The Plague and Lloyd Rees exit through the crowd, Lloyd swearing and cursing at every fan who tries to get in their way. Crowd security has to hold people back as Plague and Lloyd walk up, looking back on their handiwork. "Ya like that ya Edmonton fairies? Ol' Lloyd Rees is back bye! Hahahah!"

Destruction left in the ring. Unbelievable. But the scene still must change...

Backstage. We saw a big black man lacing up his boots. A big, "bad" black man. Okay so it's "Big Bad" Brian Bruno. He looks focused on intense on his huge Canada Cup match with Billy Kryenik later tonight. He looks up suddenly, though, as into the locker room walks... Deathrow. Still wielding the lead pipe. He stares straight down at Bruno, who stands up to his full height and stares right back.

BRIAN BRUNO: Tommy. Nice pipe.

DEATHROW: Oh you know it, all the ladies and half the boys (BLEEP)in' think so. You want to touch the Superstar's pipe Bruno, I know you're all big and bad.

BRIAN BRUNO: What the hell you talkin' about?

DEATHROW: (BLEEP)in' my dick silly-ass. Talkin' about another dick too, a sick dick, Sick Bill, Tricky Dick Kryenik. You an' him tonight (BLEEP)in' Canada Cup.

BRIAN BRUNO: Hell yeah it is.

DEATHROW: So all I'm sayin' is that you (BLEEP)in' better watch your back, you try to (BLEEP) my boy Kryenik anywhere anyway and I'm going to lay some pipe into your ass you (BLEEP)er.

Staredown. Silence. Tension.

BRIAN BRUNO: You can save the damn pipe for Kenny Krenshov. Me and Kryenik, we cool. I'm going to beat him tonight but I'm going to beat him like a man, one on one in the middle of the ring. So you can back down... and we can be cool. Are we cool Deathrow?

DEATHROW: For the record, my boy Billy is is going to beat your foolish ass. You don't give me a reason to play hackey-sack with your balls and (BLEEP) yeah we're cool.

BRIAN BRUNO: Good.

Deathrow turns around and walks off, yelling out for Krenshov. Bruno watches on, a determined expression on his stone-cold face.

FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is the PURE HONOR title match! Introducing first...

Metallica blasts through the PA. The crowd looks towards the entrance way intently, wondering what they will see...

BILL HEWSON: After the attack he sustained early tonight, we are not certain that Matthew Kurtis is in any shape to wrestle...

JACK JONES: You say that, but I bet he paid The Foundation to attack him and get him out of this match with Casino!

...and they see "The Angry American" Matt Kurtis, with his beautiful (and TOUGH) girlfriend Lyndsey Valentine step out through the curtain! Matthew is limping after that brutal chairshot to his right knee but he's looking to make a go of it.

FRANK WARBURTON: From Wickliffe, Kentucky accompanied by Lyndsey Valentine... The challenger! "The Angry American" MATTHHHHEW KURTISSSS!

BILL HEWSON: 100% or not, Matthew Kurtis is not going to let his chance at NAPW gold slip through his fingers. Especially if getting that gold means shutting up Chris Casino.

FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent from Las Vegas Nevada, he is YOUR Pure Honor champion... accompanied by Raul Havok, CHRIS CASINNNNNOOOOO!

JACK JONES: That belt is amazing. Much better than the boring ol' Kiniski Cup.

BILL HEWSON: That belt is a travesty.

Casino slowly makes his way to the ring, proudly displaying his custom made "Vegas Pure" title with it's gaudy rubies and glittering LED screen, which currently reads "Casino #1". He steps into the ring grinning at the horrendous booing of the crowd. By horrendous I mean they sure do hate Chris Casino. He gives the belt away to the referee and waits for the bell.

As per Pure Honor rules, both men must shake hands. Casino offers a limp-wristed disrespectful handshake up to Kurtis. Matthew responds by crushing Casino's hand in his big paw! Casino dances in the center of the ring in pain before Matt finally lets go. Casino complains to the referee about the crusher of a grip as Matthew nods out to Lyndsey with a grin. Crowd loves it. Casino goes over to Raul Havok holding his hand, bitterly complaining. Raul rushes over to Frank Warburton and grabs the microphone.

RAUL HAVOK: I'm sorry, but my client is in no condition to wrestle this match after the underhanded attack by Mr. Kurtis! This match will not happen!

And with that, Chris Casino rolls out to the floor, Havok giving him the Pure title belt. Raul helps Casino start up the aisle as the referee begins to make his 20 count, he's not going to give the match up like that. The crowd chants "pussy, pussy" at Casino. "Oh god the pain, the pain" whimpers Casino heading up the aisle, Raul threatening to sue the referee, Matthew Kurtis, the fans, possibly the orthopedic society of Edmonton. Why? Why not. In any event, Matthew Kurtis doesn't have time or patience for Casino's stall tactics. Matt steps outside the ring, limping, but using his long legs he quickly catches up with Chris Casino! He whips him around and starts laying in with some forearm shots! Raul dives out of the way as Matt Kurtis uses all of his three-hundred and fifteen pounds to irish whip Chris allllll the way back to the ring where Casino crashes into the apron. Kurtis nails Casino a few times with short clotheslines. The referee's count is up to nine as Matthew hooks up Chris Casino for a suplex on the floor! It's Pure Honor, but the action spills outside and Kurtis isn't utlizing any foreign objects. Casino in clear pain, holding his back as Kurtis raises one arm high to a big pop. Matthew then pulls up Casino into a big bear hug position, ramming the champion into the steel ring post! He backs off, still holding Casino up, then does it again. Chris goes limp in his arms and at sixteen Matthew puts his man back into the ring. Chris scampers to his feet and tries to call for a time out, but he only eats a running Yakuza Kick for his troubles! Matthew switched it up and used his left leg for that one, stumbling slightly after connecting before he can make the cover. One, two, kick-out Casino.

Casino again tries to get away from the Kentucky Wildcat, diving out of the ring, but Matthew catches him by the back of his tights. Chris claws at the concrete and in the process, his bum peeks outta the top of his tights. It's a full moon in Edmonton as Matthew Kurtis is humiliating Chris Casino! Kurtis uses his strength to yank Casino back into the ring for a back suplex, driving the champion down. Then Kurtis grabs Casino and... what's this? We've never seen Matthew use any real submissions, but he's going to exploit Casino's weakened back... with a single-leg crab! And with Matthew's height/weight advantage, he can REALLY bear down on it. Chris clutches his hair in pain, trying not to tap out as the crowd chants that very word. Chris reaches out, reaches out, he may tap... no, he gets the ropes. That's one rope break. Kurtis breaks the hold and gives Chris space to regain his feet. Casino gets up and complains to the referee about Kurtis grabbing his tights, but there wasn't anything illegal about it in that sense. Matthew steps in to get some, but Casino suddenly fires a closed fist right over the referee's head into Matt's cheek. Matt staggers backwards two steps as Casino plays to the crowd. "What about that, you dirty Canadians?" Chris turns around then --- and his big grin vanishes. He barely fazed Matthew Kurtis! Kurtis laying in with forearms, forearms, and then a closed fist! Instinct kicks in there and Matt gets a warning from the referee, the Pure Rules always a challenge to work with. Kurtis with a big irish whip, he catches Chris with a Spinning Side Slam for ONE! TWO! Kick-out by the champion! Then it's time for another Bear Hug, this time in the center of the ring. The mountain of a man Matt Kurtis squeezing the life out of Chris Casino, crushing the man's lower back. Referee asks Casino if he quits, Casino says "NO NO OH GOD, OH GOD, NO!" Raul Havok on the outside is slapping the mat yelling "Come on Chris!" Lyndsey Valentine on the other side is leading the crowd in a chant of "TAP! TAP! TAP!"

Suddenly Havok is on the ring apron trying to get into the ring. The referee is quick to get in his way and order him back out, but while his back is turned, Casino digs his thumbs into Matthew's eyes. It doesn't break the hold, but Casino is able to get his feet on the ground... and by the time Raul is out of the ring and the referee has turned around, Casino has managed to stretch a leg out to the ropes. That's his second rope break, but right away Casino circles around the blinded Kurtis... and CHOP BLOCKS THE RIGHT KNEE. The very knee The Foundation assaulted earlier tonight. Kurtis hits the canvas but gets back up, Casino again with a chop block to the back of the knee. And one more! Matthew Kurtis is a big man, but on the canvas he's the same size as Chris Casino, a strategy the champ is well aware of. It's right out of Ric Flair's playbook this one, as Casino drapes Matthew Kurtis' leg on the bottom rope and leaps up and DOWN on top of the knee. The referee is telling Casino to get it out of the ropes, obviously Matthew isn't using a rope break in this instance. But the damage is done. Casino with a spinning leg drop right to the knee. And now... wait a minute, what's this? Chris Casino grabs the left leg and spins around... slapping on a FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK! The right leg is straight, all the pressure is on that knee! Matthew Kurtis is in a world of trouble, locked in one of the most dangerous submission holds in wrestling history.

Kurtis tries to sit up and grab Casino, but Chris flops back. He cinches in his leglock tighter, using his arms as well. Matthew slumps back to the canvas, his shoulders are down, one, two, Kurtis sits up. The pain has to be unbearable! Kurtis' shoulders again touch the canvas, one, two, he sits up. Wait! Kurtis with an arm up, he's trying to roll over and reverse the pressure! The crowd rallying behind Matthew, Casino looking panicked. Matt tries to get it over, he's rolling, he's rolling... he does it! Kurtis gets the move rolled over, the pain is now on Casino, but Casino is quick to break the hold. But wait, Chris goes RIGHT BACK TO THE MOVE. FIGURE FOUR again! And Matthew is now in the pain again! He tries to roll it over, but he can't get it, Casino chops the leg to add to the pain. And now Matthew, he's close to tapping, his hands are hovering above... he reaches for the ropes! He's a few inches too far! He reaches, fingertips brushing... Matt puts his hands down on the mat and pulls both men a foot over. He's got the ropes! That's his first rope break and the figure-four is broken, but the damage could be done. Chris Casino lets go of the hold at the four count, because he has a five count you see. And now, he goes to the top rope! Kurtis trying to pull himself up, heavily favoring the right knee, as Casino waits. And waits. And then... Missile Dropkick! Nobody home! Kurtis managed to dive out of the way. Chris gets up to his feet and eats CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL. Kurtis covers! ONE! TWO! THREEE---NO! CASINO GOT HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES! That's his third and FINAL rope break! The ropes are in play for Matthew Kurtis! And he's got an idea here. It's called the BLUEGRASS BOMB. He goes to hoist Casino up, but Chris kicks and scrambles, holding onto the right leg. Kurtis again tries to lift Casino with his great strength and he gets the champion up onto his shoulders! But Casino slaps him in the MOUTH at the top! Kurtis ignores it, trying to get his hands on the man's trunks for the extra height, but Chris spins around on the top of the man's shoulders and drops backwards, DROPKICK to the back of the right knee! Kurtis stumbles forward and Casino then hits a superkick that sends Matthew out and over the top rope!

With Kurtis on the floor holding his ankle, Casino taunts the fans and struts. The referee is up to a five count before Kurtis looks to be getting back into the ring... baseball slide by Chris Casino! And now Chris goes to the outside as the referee continues to fight. He rushes Kurtis for a running STO --- Matt's size hinders him, however, and Kurtis instead turns it into a spinebuster in the aisle! Kurtis holding the top of the guardrail on one knee, trying to will his body to do what it's struggling to do. Casino gets up as Matthew Kurtis drops a big arm across the man's back. What's this? Bluegrass Bomb on the outside, he can't! Wait a minute, Raul Havok has come over he's yelling at Kurtis --- Lyndsey spins Raul around and DDTs the man! Matthew grins at his lady as Raul is out on the concrete aisle, but Casino is able to get out of the situation. Kurtis steps towards Casino... and trips? What the? Kurtis took a step but his left leg went nowhere, he used his right leg to brace and now he's down on the aisle in pain! Casino stomps the right leg repeatedly, STOMP STOMP STOMP. What in the hell just happened? Wait a minute, Casino... Casino's wrist tape! Chris Casino undid his wrist tape and tied Matthew's left ankle to the guardrail stand! His step broke the tape but it did it's damage! Casino with another stomp and then... he runs back to the ring! He slides in, the referee at SEVENTEEN. Matthew tries to get up, EIGHTEEN. He's crawling towards the ring, NINETEEN. He reaches out for the apron...TWENTY.

FRANK WARBURTON: Your winner by count-out, and still Pure Honor champion... CHRIS CASINO!

BILL HEWSON: There wasn't anything honorable about that victory in the least. Chris Casino was outmatched and outpowered, but damn him, he still escapes tonight with the Pure Honor title. What a rip-off for Matthew Kurtis.

JACK JONES: Hey, in Pure Honor rules, a count-out victory is as good as a pinfall, the title can change hands. In this case however, it sure did NOT. Good job Chris! Now maybe you can replace this bozo beside me full-time...

BILL HEWSON: Will you stop?

Lyndsey is checking on Matthew Kurtis, a trainer has also come out. In the ring, Chris Casino celebrates his title victory to the boos and hisses of the NAPW fans. Yet he remains Pure Honor champion. What of his new relationship with Chad Kurtis? And how angry is "The Angry American" with The Foundation right now?

BILL HEWSON: Welcome back folks, and we have been informed that Matthew Kurtis has been taken to the nearby hospital to take a look at that injured leg of his. Right now though, we have more action to get to!

FRANK WARBURTON: This next match is scheduled for one fall and it is for the NAPW Tag Team Championship!!!

"I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred hits the sound system and the fans give a very mixed reaction to the duo that dance out from behind the curtain.

FRANK WARBURTON: Hailing from New Mexico and weighing in tonight at 455 lbs, this is the team of Chip N' Dale...The Playgirlz!!!

The duo slip into the ring and start doing the "Robot" to the delight / horror of the fans. "Low" by the Foo Fighters replaces the one hit wonder of Right Said Fred and the fans come to their feet in respect for the champions.

FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents weighing in tonight at 527 lbs, they are the reining and defending NAPW Tag Team Champions, Bruce "The Beast" Richards and "Stylin" Kyle Roberts...The New & Improved D-X!!!

The champions climb into the ring and hand their belts over to the referee. The team of The Playgirlz waltz over to the Champs and start gyrating in front of them.

BILL HEWSON: Once more the team of The New & Improved D-X must defend their tag titles thanks to Winchell.

JACK JONES: Winchell is only trying to help them. Who doesn't love fighting champions?

The referee calls for the bell and the Champs attack the dancing duo with punched and kicks!

BILL HEWSON: D-X is looking to get this over with as quick as possible!

The men pair off as the referee attempts to get some order back into the match. Kyle Roberts is laying into Chip with heavy right hands that snap the oily mans head back. Bruce Richards has Dale trapped in a corner and is putting the boots to him. A stinging right hand sends Chip rolling out of the ring and the referee gets into Roberts face and yells at him to get to his corner. Meanwhile, Bruce pulls Dale out of the corner and whips him into the ropes so that he can deliver a big back body drop! Bruce tags in his partner and the two men hook up Dale and hoist him up and over with a brutal double snap suplex. As Bruce leaves the ring, Kyle mounts Dale and starts to lay into him with stiff right hands to the head. Chip rushes into the ring and shoves Kyle off of his tag partner. This brings in Bruce Richards who hits a modified spear onto the well oiled wrestler. Chip rolls out of the ring holding his ribs and the referee ushers Bruce back to his corner. Roberts has a handful of Dales hair and leads him to the D-X corner. Kyle tags out and "The Beast" enters the ring looking ready to dish out some pain.

BILL HEWSON: The Playgirlz have yet to really get anything going here against D-X.

JACK JONES: Yeah right they're getting their butts kicked!

Roberts hoists Dale up and nails an inverted atomic drop just as Bruce Richards comes off the far ropes and almost decapitates the Playgirlz member with a clothesline to the back of his head! As Dale lays quivering on the mat, Bruce drops a leg across the back of his dazed opponents head. "The Beast" rolls Dale over and goes for a pin, one, two, Dale somehow manages to get his foot on the bottom rope! Bruce tags in Richards and Dale looks frightened. Dale is dragged to his feet and double Irish whipped into the far ropes. Dale holds onto the ropes and tags in Chip! A surprised Chip slowly steps into the ring and then rushes at both members of D-X! Bruce easily ducks a clothesline and Chip runs straight into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Roberts! The referee gets Bruce out of the ring as Roberts drives an elbow into the small of Chip's back. The crowd stirs and all eyes look towards the entrance way as the duo of Wayne & The Moose make their way to the ringside area. Chip reaches up, grabs a handful of Roberts trunks and uses leverage to send Kyle Roberts to the outside!

BILL HEWSON: Richards is in a bad neighborhood! Could this have been planned out between Grade A and The Playgirlz?

Kyle Roberts tries to get into the ring but the referee is blocking his way! On the outside Wayne Wright and "The Moose" Mark Millar attack Richards! The crowd again rise up as the beaten and bloody team of The Celtic Assassins rush down to the ring and make the save! It's chaos around ringside as The Celtic Assassins brawl with Wright and Millar. Roberts rolls back into the ring and The Playgirlz, well they just look confused. Chip tries to grab Stylin' Kyle but takes a thumb to the eye. Roberts lunges and tags in Bruce Richards! THE BEAST comes charging into the ring and levels Chip with a jumping shoulder tackle. Dale starts to look like he wants to come into the ring...And then changes his mind. He stands on the ring apron in horror, and watches as Richards pulls Chip to his feet and drives him back to the mat with the CHART ATTACK. Bruce goes for the easy cover! One, two, three!! The champs retain!!

FRANK WARBURTON: Your winners and still NAPW Champions, The New & Improved D-X!!!

BILL HEWSON: Another win by D-X!!

JACK JONES: Some win, I bet you and I could beat those dancing fools.

Both the Playgirlz and the team of Wayne Wright & "The Moose" have retreated but The Celtic Assassins climbs into the ring. The Assassins exchange heated words with D-X and it looks like we're about to see another match!

A voice booms out over the PA system.

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: Wait, wait wait!!!

Winchell comes out from the back to a huge chorus of boos. He ignores them and points to the ring.

R. JOSEPH WINCHELL III: Nice job D-X. You survive another week. As for YOU guys (pointing to the Celts) If you decide to stick your noses into the business of D-X again I'll suspend you indefinitely!

JACK JONES: Finally a voice of sanity around here!

Winchell smiles as The Celtic Assassins give D-X one last look and slowly leave the ring.

Backstage again, Tommy Deathrow continuing his hunt for Krenshov. He turns a corner and bumps into a pissed off looking Wayne Wright, flanked by The Moose.

DEATHROW: Watch where you're (BLEEP)in' going monkey. Oh (BLEEP) it's Wayne Wright and Moose balls, you guys seen Krenshov?

That seems to be the wrong choice of words as Wayne Wright's eyes flare wide and he swings at Deathrow! Tommy absorbs the shot as Wayne jumps him, then lets swing with the lead pipe catching Wayne in the stomach. Moose charges in only to get a boot to the gut, Deathrow then brings the lead down on his back. Wayne charges again, he tackles Deathrow against the wall but Tommy throws some sick sounding punches down on the man before kicking him away. He punches Wayne, then grabs both men by the heads and cracks them together WHAM.

DEATHROW: You want to (BLEEP) with a superstar, son? You want a (BLEEP) with the Jedi Master of (BLEEP)in' violence? I'm the SUPERSTAR, bitches!

Deathrow slams Moose into the wall hard and then grabs Wayne Wright, DEATHROW DRIVER on the concrete! Tommy looks over both men and grunts a sort of laugh before walking out, leaving carnage behind him. What's going to happen if he does find Krenshov?

FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Canada Cup semi-final contest! Introducing first from Chicago Illinois, BIG BAD BRIANNNN BRUNNNNNOOOO!

Drowning Pool hits and you better believe Quadruple B is ready to step up. The fans give him a pop as he hits the ring, he looks intense.

FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent, from Windsor Ontario... SICK BILLLLLLY KRYENNNNNNIK!

And to a big pop storms out Billy Kryenik! The crowd pops loud for him. He hits the ring and the corner, then settles down to start the match.

Handshake to start, both men know what's on the line but there is RESPECT here. Bruno with the power advantage backs Kryenik to the corner from a tie-up, clean break. Back to center, again a tie-up, Kryenik with a headlock, Bruno shoves to the ropes and sends Kryenik flying. Clothesline ducked, Kryenik stops on a dime and grabs a neckbreaker on Bruno, cover only gets one. Back up Kryenik with a few forearms to the face driving Bruno into the corner before he steps up for a high knee to the face. Bruno blinks away birdies as Kryenik gets some distance and a head o' steam... charge! Meets Bruno EXPLODING out of the corner with a shoulder tackle..... PERIOD. Bruno quick to cover, gets two out of it. He cinches in a rear chin lock as Kryenik tries to take his feet. Bill slips behind and tries to german suplex his man, Bruno struggles and doesn't let it happen though, instead hitting a snap-mare takeover, followed by a big boot to the face. That's gonna leave a mark. Kryenik pulled back up to a standing position and Bruno fires away with some right hands. He fires Kryenik with an irish whip, this time he nails a spinebuster! Kryenik couldn't counter, that's one, two, kick-out.

Brian seems to have the advantage here, scoop slam sends Billy down, followed up by a falling elbow drop. Cover again, two count only. Bruno locks on a grounded headlock to wear Billy out, though Billy tries to get to his feet. The crowd is cheering for both men. Billy with one elbow, two elbows, three elbows and he's off into the ropes! He charges Bruno --- only to get CAUGHT and pressed right above Bruno's head in a huge show of strength! Gorilla Press Slam puts Billy down, but Bruno this time doesn't go for a cover. He picks up Kryenik and places the man on the top turnbuckle. Bruno doesn't go to the top rope often, he's pulling out all the stops to beat Kryenik tonight! What's he doing here? He's not going to try to powerbomb Kryenik off the top rope! He is! But Kryenik knows what's at stake, and he also knows he wants to preserve his damn well-being. He fights back, finally able to stun Bruno. Kryenik drops off the turnbuckle and then positions Bruno onto his shoulders... for an electric chair drop! That may have turned the tide, but Kryenik is trying to regain his breath and can't capitalize. He finally gets a cover, only to have Bruno kick out quickly right at two.

Both men are back to their feet, and now Kryenik with a chop. Bruno fires a right hand. Kryenik with a chop. Bruno! Kryenik! Bruno! Kryenik... right hook! He tagged Bruno good, irish whip coming up, Bruno reverses, Kryenik reverses yet AGAIN and then it's a Hot Salvation superkick right to the butt of Bruno's jaw on the rebound! Bruno goes timmmmber and Kryenik igoes to lock on the Branch Breaker! STF, he's getting it on, Bruno could be in trouble, but he's able to make the ropes. Referee forces a break which he gets, but as soon as Bruno is on his feet Kryenik is on him. Chop, chop, chop, hook, and Kryenik gets a rebound --- body dropped out of the ring! Kryenik lands on the apron though, Bruno turns around and fires a big right hand , Kryenik ducks and shoulder-thrusts Bruno through the ropes. Sunset flip, Kryenik gets one, two, Bruno kicks out! He hits the ropes at a charge and NAILS Kryenik with a lariat! ONE! TWO! Th kickout! Bruno pulls Kryenik up after that, he's calling for a Bruno Bomber! He stuffs Billy's head between his legs, Billy had that severe neck injury last summer, this is his weakness. And he knows it! Billy uses Bruno's force on his body during the lift to flip up and over Bruno, huracanrana??? No, he flips over and grabs a sunset flip, Bruno doesn't go down, he sits down instead and grabs one of Billy's legs for ONE, TWO, just barely kick out! Kryenik gets up and Bruno hits a double ax-handle. That stuns the man, and Bruno sends him into the corner. Big avalanche hits boot! Bruno stumbles out, Kryenik quickly to the second turnbuckle, he flies out with a big clothesline that has Bruno reeling! Toe-kick, double under-hook, Dry Lake time, Bruno counters out and gets behind his man, back suplex, Kryenik backflips out of it, Bruno turns around, toe-kick again, double underhook, THE DRY LAKE connects! Kryenik with a cover for one, two, and the three count at last.

FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner, SICK BILLY KRYENIK!

BILL HEWSON: One hell of a match between two great competitors. One of them had to win, tough break for Brian Bruno, he's got a lot of potential.

JACK JONES: I think Bruno's smart, truthfully.

BILL HEWSON: What are you talking about?

JACK JONES: Well he saw Kurt Castle win the match earlier tonight and hey, he realized he didn't want any part of the massacre that will occur next week and let Kryenik win.

BILL HEWSON: Your logic stuns me. I will say that I am very surprised one Kenny Krenshov did not make his presence felt as he had in so many matches featuring Billy Kryenik or Tommy Deathrow since Black Thursday II. Perhaps he really is not in the building tonight...

JACK JONES: Somebody should tell Deathrow that. Of course, he wouldn't be able to process the information...

BILL HEWSON: When we come back, the NAPW Title is on the line! "The Show" Chad Kurtis, injury and all, challenges the champion "Perfection" Evan Cartwright!

FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for the NAPW Championship Match! Now making his way to the ring, from Paducah, Kentucky, weighing in at two hundred thirty pounds, "The SHOW" CHAAAAAAAAAD KUUUURRRTISSS!

Cocky by Kid Rock hits and out comes Mr. Underdog himself, Chad Kurtis, to a monster pop! Broken nose and concussion be damned, this man is here to fight for the Championship! He gets in the ring, stands up on the top turnbuckle and raises his arm.

BILL HEWSON: Here he comes, Jack Attack. This kid's got more guts then he knows what do with, and we're just minutes away from seeing what that's gonna get him.

JACK JONES: Most likely, a prologed stay at the hospital! This guy is nuts, Hewson! There' s a nice thin line between brave and stupid, and this man has just crossed it. Put the women and children to bed, Evan's gonna make this one quick and brutal.

BILL HEWSON: Come on, Jack, even you have to admire this kid's heart.

JACK JONES: Wrong, Hewson. All he's doing is going for the cheap pop from the crowd! This man's not here to wrestle, he's here for a popularity contest, and he's come to the WRONG place. He deserves whatever he was coming to him.

FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent. From Cairo, Illinois. He is the former THREE TIME Provincial Champion, one half of the former Tag Team Champions, and he is the reigning NAPW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! Tonight, he weighs in at two hundred twenty-two and one-quarter pounds, he is "PERFECTIOOOOONN"....EVAAAAAAAAANN CAAAAAAAARRTTWRIIIIIIGHT!!!

The boos reign down like a waterfall as Sam and Dave's classic "Hold On, I'm Coming!" begins to play. From behind the curtain steps out the self-proclaimed Best Techincal Wrestler in New Alberta Pro Wrestling, the NAPW Champion Evan Cartwright! He cockily walks down to the ring, belt firmly around his waist. Once inside, he steps into his corner, removes it, and hands it to the referee, who holds it up for all the world to see.

BILL HEWSON: There he is, ladies and gentlemen. Love him or hate him, this man is perhaps the most successful wrestler in NAPW history. THREE Provincial title reigns. One of the longest runs EVER as Tag Team Champion. And on top of all that, he is the NAPW Champion after beating Patrick Bickle just under one month ago.

JACK JONES: Finally, a champion for the fans to worship! It brings me back to the good ol' days of NAPW, days when legends like Devastation and Static walked among us! Honorable men who proudly held the banner for our GRAND company!

BILL HEWSON: ...Right. Well folks, that's enough from us. Let's get to the match!

Head referee Dick Kiebiech checks both men for foreign objects, and when finding none, calls for the bell. Cartwright stays in his corner, beckoning Kurtis to advance on him. Instead, Chad tries to get the crowd into it. He pumps his arms up, and the crowd roars their approval! Cartwright doesn't like it, and bails to the outside. He's not about to let the crowd fuel this newcomer to an upset; a smart move by the champion. Kiebiech counts, and as the cheers die down, Evan slides back in, but Kurtis is waiting! Big right hand knocks the champion down! Evan bounces up, and gets rocked with anonther, and he promptly slides back out. Kurtis follows, and now, it's a brawl! Both men start firing away with forearms, and Evan is able to sneak in a European uppercut to back Kurtis up...and then he drop toeholds him onto the bottom ring step! He gets up and points to his head, and the crowd boos as he slides the challenger back into the ring. Following right behind, he drops a perrrrfect knee right onto his chest, and the follows with a front elbow drop after bouncing off the ropes. He grabs Kurtis right around the neck and tosses him into the corner. CHOP! WOOOO! CHOP! WOOOO! Evan backs up, frames the shot ala Kevin Nash, and slams an elbow right to the side of his head. Evan yells to Kurtis that he's out of his league, and it looks like that may just be the case. Cartwright quickly hooks the Show up for a vertical suplex, and lands it - floatover by Cartwright, but Kurtis kicks out at one and a half. Cartwright is undeterred, and hits a toe kick on the rising Kurtis brother. An arm wrench follows, and then Evan steps behind for a hammerlock. Wincing in pain, Kurtis tries to reach around and grab the champ, but can't seem to brush him off. In a flash, Cartwright drops down in front of Kurtis and flips him over with an arm drag. Kurtis isn't going to be pushed around, though, and he pops up. Clothesline on Cartwright! The fans explode! Cartwright rises again, and gets clothesline back down to the mat!

He goes for another - DUCKED! - Evan kicks him right in the spine! SIDEWALK SLAM! The champion looks to be in top form tonight, and the crowd dies down again. He applies a side headlock, attacking the weak spot of his downed opponent. He squeezes...squeezes....he's taking the fight right of him. Cartwright demands that Kiebiech check him, and he complies. Dick raises his arm once, and it falls. Twice, and it falls again....he raises it for one last time...and it falls.

HALF-WAY! Kurtis is alive and kicking! The crowd goes banana, and Evan is stunned. He squeezes harder, but to no avail! Kurtis is running on pure adrenalin now! He's up to his feet! A quick elbow to the ribs, and Kurtis picks Cartwright up off his feet for a back suplex! Kurtis NIPS-UP! Cartwight quickly gets to his feet as well. Kurtis is a house of fire, and he lands two quick elbows before irish whipping Cartwright! He comes off the ropes and gets nailed with a superkick! Kurtis is jacked up, and he's trying to get the crowd into it! Their going wild for him, and you can just see in his eyes how much he's feeding off of them. Cartwright is back to his feet behind him , but he's woozy. Before he even knows what hit him, Kurtis connects with a Springboard Dropkick! COVER! ONE, TWOOO, - KICKOUT! The crowd oohs and ahhs, we almost had a new champion! Kurtis is still on the offensive, and irish whips him into the corner. He follows, but Evan leapfrogs over him - Kurtis doesn't miss a beat he jumps to the top rope and leaps off, nailing a Frankensteiner! Evan is down for the count, but Kurtis doesn't cover. The fans are at a fever pitch, and Kurtis goes to the corner.Best. Moonsault. EVVVVVEEEERRRR! He covers!

ONE!

TWOOOOO!

THREE-NO! NO! Evan kicked out, we almost had a new champion! Kurtis is in shock, he can't believe it. He's going to have to finish Cartwright now! He calls for the CK FINALE! This place has come UNGLUED!

He's got Cartwright hooked up! Here it comes! No, wait! Back body drop! Chad Kurtis landed on his head, that can't be good. Cartwright needs a minute to recover, but it looks like Chad is out on his feet as he gets up. He stumbles, and throws a punch at Cartwright, who side-steps it easily and LACES The Show with a PERFECCCCTTT UPPPPERCUUT!

KO, baby. Cartwright with a wheelbarrow suplex on the unconscious Kurtis! Into a Cartwheel! Kiebiech checks on Kurtis....and calls for the bell! This one is over, folks!

FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner, and STILL NAPW Champion, "PERFECTIOOOOONN"....EVAAAAAAAAANN CAAAAAAAARRTTWRIIIIIIGHT!!!

BILL HEWSON: What a valiant effort by Chad Kurtis. You have to believe that one day, he'll get another shot at the gold.

JACK JONES: Who cares about him? Look at our dominant champion! Talk about sending a message to Ravager! Two straight knockout victories in championship matches? He's the KO King!

Evan leaves, championship in hand, laughing all the way. Kurtis struggles to his feet, and gets a huge ovation for his effort. But wait a minute! Those cheers quickly turn to boos as the entire Royal Foundation comes down the ring! Not again! Kurtis dives at Prince Darko, but he quickly gets dropped to the canvas by Thomas Young! All three men stomp on him, and they're looking to finish the job they started last week on Action!. Matthew Kurtis has been taken to the hospital, there's no one to save Chad!

The lights just went out!

CREED hits the over the PA! The lights come back on....NIGHTMARE IS IN THE RING! Big Boot sends Darko screaming out of the ring! A clothesline turns Jeff James inside out! Young is all alone, he's begging off - DREAM CATCHER! The ring almost exploded on the impact, holy moley! Talk about getting revenge, Nightmare just made up for getting eliminated from the Action Battle Royale by those goons!

The Foundation quickly pulls Young out of the ring, and they start to leave as Nightmare gets on the mike.

NIGHTMARE: It's time that I get my payback, and I'm gonna start by teaming up with Matthew Kurtis to kick your asses on Action! Friday Night!

The fans go absolutely wild as Creed hits again and the Royals try to regroup. Nightmare stares all three of them down, Prince Darko is furious. The referee is checking on Chad Kurtis. Nightmare turns over and looks over "The Show", nodding... what's going through his mind?

Back from commercial, the main event is over... the fans even are starting to leave, when suddenly a section of the crowd buzzes. The camera tries to get a look --- it's Tommy Deathrow. He's coming through the crowd, a furious look on his face still. He hops the guardrail and goes to the timekeepers table, taking the microphone away from Warburton before rolling into the ring. Deathrow paces back and forth, smacking the canvas with his steel pipe before talking.

DEATHROW: You know I've looked all over this (BLEEP)in' (BLEEP)shake joint and I ain't found Mr. "Colossal" Krenshov. So I figure I'll just come out here and call the big bitch out. KRENSHOV. KRENSHOV YOU (BLEEP)! If you got any BALLS left these days, get your ass out here! I'm not hard to find, just look for the mother(BLEEP)in' SUPERSTAR BITCH! COME ON! GET OUT HERE FOR YOUR ASS-LICKIN' ASS-WHUPPIN'!

Deathrow looks towards the curtain, ready, wanting bad, so bad to beat the hell out of Kenny Krenshov. But he does not get Kenny Krenshov.

He gets Chris Casino and "The Devastator" Kurt Castle.

Deathrow looks confused, but the Pure and Provincial champions continue to advance on the ring. Deathrow bounces the microphone off the canvas and squats down, ready to whup on whichever man first sticks their head into the ring. And of course, that's the exact moment that Kenny Krenshov blasts out of the crowd and kills Deathrow from behind.

Casino and Castle swarm into the ring and it's a three-on-one gang beating! Tommy Deathrow fires wild right hands, he's a brawler from way back, he takes Casino down, tags Krenshov, but Castle finally brings him down with one hell of shot. Krenshov, Casino and Castle start laying the boots into Deathrow --- KRYENIK! COMING TO THE AID OF HIS FRIEND! The Doomriders are reunited! Kryenik hits the ring at a sprint and starts taking it to anything that moves, WHAM WHAM WHAM! He helps Deathrow up... THE CROWD GOES NUTS. THE DOOMRIDERS ARE BACK, BABY ---

KRENSHOV DOUBLE CLOTHESLINES BOTH MEN DOWN! And here comes Chris Casino with a superkick to the face of Kryenik as soon as he gets up! Castle locks Tommy Deathrow in the Truth Serum, and then Casino --- directing traffic --- gets Krenshov to hold Kryenik up! BASH with the Vegas Pure Title belt into the face of Kryenik. Krenshov then hauls a limp Kryenik back up... TOTAL ECLIPSE ONTO THE TITLE BELT. Casino locks Kryenik in the figure four as Krenshov holds the top rope and chokes the man out with his boot in the throat, as Kurt Castle holds Deathrow in the Truth Serum! What in the world is going on? Are these three men in some kind of ALLIANCE? We're out of time! Good night!